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If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | When I first entered the building that was now to give me money for doing what I had always been doing I got a slight annoyance from the squeaky doors. I proceeded to walk over the large hall to the woman obviously responsible for squeaky doors; the receptionist. I told her that if that door squeaked when I went throug... | I joined the Muppet Traveling Show in Europe as a stage hand, however, it wasn't what I expected. Kermit was there, but he wasn't really in charge like I thought he would be, he just let everyone do whatever they wanted, and since they're all Muppets, things got chaotic fast. Their new tour manager was there, Dominic B... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | *Ends hibernation*
*walks into office*
Officer worker 1: HOLY SHIT ANOTHER BEAR!!!
Officer worker 2: Don't worry, I decided I needed to bring a gun to work. It's so weird that 89 other bears have just walked into our office.
**bang bang**
*feels pain, eyes get heavy*
Officer worker 2: WOO! I got number 90! | I joined the Muppet Traveling Show in Europe as a stage hand, however, it wasn't what I expected. Kermit was there, but he wasn't really in charge like I thought he would be, he just let everyone do whatever they wanted, and since they're all Muppets, things got chaotic fast. Their new tour manager was there, Dominic B... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | I ordered a shot of whiskey,
A slippery nipple and then
I downed six bottles of bud light
And two whiskey sours and gin.
My head is swimming round and round.
My heart is all aflame.
I wonder if my ex is awake I think I'll call him again.
Oh Fuck yeah this is my tune.
Get up!
Let's dance and shout!
This is my j... | I joined the Muppet Traveling Show in Europe as a stage hand, however, it wasn't what I expected. Kermit was there, but he wasn't really in charge like I thought he would be, he just let everyone do whatever they wanted, and since they're all Muppets, things got chaotic fast. Their new tour manager was there, Dominic B... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | "Sancho! Onward to the lair of the despicable dragon!"
"*Jefe, that's a windmill!*"
"Nonsense! We shall skewer it's heart and make La Mancha safe once more!"
**Sancho Panza**, always one for a humorous sight, let his sire **Don Quixote, Knight of the Woeful Countenance**, ride off to do battle with the town windmill... | I joined the Muppet Traveling Show in Europe as a stage hand, however, it wasn't what I expected. Kermit was there, but he wasn't really in charge like I thought he would be, he just let everyone do whatever they wanted, and since they're all Muppets, things got chaotic fast. Their new tour manager was there, Dominic B... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | I am the source.
The source of everything good, bad, holy, evil, light, dark.
I am the good, the bad, and the ugly. I am the punk and I
am the .44 Magnum and I am feeling lucky. I am not for a few dollars more because I am all dollars.
I am the beauty and the beast. I am the genie and I am the wishes.
I am th... | I joined the Muppet Traveling Show in Europe as a stage hand, however, it wasn't what I expected. Kermit was there, but he wasn't really in charge like I thought he would be, he just let everyone do whatever they wanted, and since they're all Muppets, things got chaotic fast. Their new tour manager was there, Dominic B... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | New suit, old tie, there's a stain in the middle, and a tear in my eye.
I sigh.
The streets are the same, the cars they drift, the leaves they fall, from the blue sky
I sigh.
I walk and walk, sip and sip, the rye begins to run dry
I sigh.
The students they sleep, careless, naive, am I really the bad guy?
I sigh.
... | I joined the Muppet Traveling Show in Europe as a stage hand, however, it wasn't what I expected. Kermit was there, but he wasn't really in charge like I thought he would be, he just let everyone do whatever they wanted, and since they're all Muppets, things got chaotic fast. Their new tour manager was there, Dominic B... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Eye tip me tophat. I wok in 2 de ofis bilding.
Gud dae maet. Me maets n me eet crumpits n sip tee cos we gents.
Luk o de dae to ye maet. Gohd saev de Kween n all de jaz.
Now eye wok hoem. Luvlee niet n all. Gud niet.
Mae B reed gud niet buk? Noe, eye cant reed. | I joined the Muppet Traveling Show in Europe as a stage hand, however, it wasn't what I expected. Kermit was there, but he wasn't really in charge like I thought he would be, he just let everyone do whatever they wanted, and since they're all Muppets, things got chaotic fast. Their new tour manager was there, Dominic B... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | "I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around this." I said in a desperate attempt to get something even loosely resembling a real explanation.
"Nothing to wrap your head around. Just push the button; record the results." Real helpful, Dave.
"But what if one gets loose?" I asked, aiming with a little more specifi... | I was nervous. Not everyone advocated it like I did.
It is important, though, to wear your helmet at the table. That's what I told mrs Donna when we met yesterday evening.
She scoffed at me like everyone did, told me it was a ridiculous notion. I insisted, but still she refused. I told her to at least, then, let me s... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | *Warning, extreme smug-ness*
I prodded at my 200 dollar steak, prepared for me by finest chefs this 3 star restaurant had to offer, and found myself disappointed. So I did what any other legend would do, I sauntered into the kitchen like I belonged, because very soon, I would. I took one look at the chefs, cooks and a... | I was nervous. Not everyone advocated it like I did.
It is important, though, to wear your helmet at the table. That's what I told mrs Donna when we met yesterday evening.
She scoffed at me like everyone did, told me it was a ridiculous notion. I insisted, but still she refused. I told her to at least, then, let me s... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | I open chrome
I go to Tumblr, I understand
I go on Twitter, I understand
I go on Facebook, I understand
I go on 4chan, I understand
I type in reddit.com, what does it mean? | I was nervous. Not everyone advocated it like I did.
It is important, though, to wear your helmet at the table. That's what I told mrs Donna when we met yesterday evening.
She scoffed at me like everyone did, told me it was a ridiculous notion. I insisted, but still she refused. I told her to at least, then, let me s... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | "So far so good.
Sold a few to that nice old man outside the tea shop.
A couple more to the Lin family.
Nice couple those two and the kids are just precious.
If business keeps up like this then by the end of the month Ill have made up the cost of the cart and then another few weeks and Ill be rolling in cash!
... | I was nervous. Not everyone advocated it like I did.
It is important, though, to wear your helmet at the table. That's what I told mrs Donna when we met yesterday evening.
She scoffed at me like everyone did, told me it was a ridiculous notion. I insisted, but still she refused. I told her to at least, then, let me s... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Whoa, cool thread dudes and lady friends! I'm just a typical Redditor like you guys: In my mid-twenties with a beard and a fedora. Nothing crazy about me. Except that I love karma! Super into karma! You guys do karma? Are you swapping it around? Smoking it? Snorting it? Doing karma parties?
Do you know who is making ... | I was nervous. Not everyone advocated it like I did.
It is important, though, to wear your helmet at the table. That's what I told mrs Donna when we met yesterday evening.
She scoffed at me like everyone did, told me it was a ridiculous notion. I insisted, but still she refused. I told her to at least, then, let me s... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | My consciousness flicks online.
All of time and space inside my mind;
everything that has ever been.
The Man calls me 'Tardis 1217'.
--
The Man asks to go to a place;
hyperbolic,
juxtaposition
of time and space.
I'm not quite an organism,
but not a machine.
I am Tardis 1217.
--
I see the big bang and ... | I was nervous. Not everyone advocated it like I did.
It is important, though, to wear your helmet at the table. That's what I told mrs Donna when we met yesterday evening.
She scoffed at me like everyone did, told me it was a ridiculous notion. I insisted, but still she refused. I told her to at least, then, let me s... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | It is a seautiful dummer bay. The wun sines sharmly on a hold ouse near a river. Behind the house a dother muck is sitting on en teggs. "Tchick." One by one all the eggs eak bropen.
All except one. This one is the iggest begg of all.
Dother muck sits and sits on the ig begg. At last it eaks bropen, "Tchick, tchick!"
... | I was nervous. Not everyone advocated it like I did.
It is important, though, to wear your helmet at the table. That's what I told mrs Donna when we met yesterday evening.
She scoffed at me like everyone did, told me it was a ridiculous notion. I insisted, but still she refused. I told her to at least, then, let me s... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | It's a difficult job. Nobody really appreciates it. Some of the things I have to do...well some things are better off forgotten. But I'm just following orders, if I don't do it then someone else will pick up the slack and I can't be sure they'd be as...merciful...as I.
First up today is a soldier who burned a family a... | I was nervous. Not everyone advocated it like I did.
It is important, though, to wear your helmet at the table. That's what I told mrs Donna when we met yesterday evening.
She scoffed at me like everyone did, told me it was a ridiculous notion. I insisted, but still she refused. I told her to at least, then, let me s... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | "How's sample 329?"
"...weak..no effect, subject still struggles to stay awake"
"DAMMIT..HOW MUCH MORE CAFFEINE SHOULD WE INJECT?! "
"Please.. Just let me go back to sleep" | I was nervous. Not everyone advocated it like I did.
It is important, though, to wear your helmet at the table. That's what I told mrs Donna when we met yesterday evening.
She scoffed at me like everyone did, told me it was a ridiculous notion. I insisted, but still she refused. I told her to at least, then, let me s... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Cool and crisp morning.
Back aches from hauling supplies
Secluded location
Family business
Passed to me
Ever since grandpappy blew himself up
Drunk as a skunk
Moonshine is life | I was nervous. Not everyone advocated it like I did.
It is important, though, to wear your helmet at the table. That's what I told mrs Donna when we met yesterday evening.
She scoffed at me like everyone did, told me it was a ridiculous notion. I insisted, but still she refused. I told her to at least, then, let me s... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | It's been 3 months. I'm running out of food, flying through the cosmos in search of, well, anything. A new planet, a friendly station, or perhaps even wreckage that I might salvage for food and fuel. The isolation has caused a slow decent to madness, I often find myself talking to inanimate objects aboard the ship. Lon... | I was nervous. Not everyone advocated it like I did.
It is important, though, to wear your helmet at the table. That's what I told mrs Donna when we met yesterday evening.
She scoffed at me like everyone did, told me it was a ridiculous notion. I insisted, but still she refused. I told her to at least, then, let me s... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | You know, it sucks being me. Years ago, my father built this place, RIOTS R US, from the ground up. And, right when this asshole /u/PitchforkEmporium shows up, my father dies. In simple terms, my job is gone on Day 1. | I was nervous. Not everyone advocated it like I did.
It is important, though, to wear your helmet at the table. That's what I told mrs Donna when we met yesterday evening.
She scoffed at me like everyone did, told me it was a ridiculous notion. I insisted, but still she refused. I told her to at least, then, let me s... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Eating my bowl of Wagon-O's, I glance into the blue hues of my old analog TV, playing a rerun of *All My Children* that I had seen a thousand times.
One of the perks of being a superhero for the State was having my very own satellite beaming any station I wanted to my old TV while my peers were forced to convert to di... | I was nervous. Not everyone advocated it like I did.
It is important, though, to wear your helmet at the table. That's what I told mrs Donna when we met yesterday evening.
She scoffed at me like everyone did, told me it was a ridiculous notion. I insisted, but still she refused. I told her to at least, then, let me s... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | "It's from the Narnia books!" I told them, "The character in the... you know, not the one with the wardrobe, but the one after that."
But they didn't listen. Apparently, they decided that I must be some sort of math teacher from the Caspian Sea region.
Do you know what countries border the Caspian Sea? I didn't, but ... | I was nervous. Not everyone advocated it like I did.
It is important, though, to wear your helmet at the table. That's what I told mrs Donna when we met yesterday evening.
She scoffed at me like everyone did, told me it was a ridiculous notion. I insisted, but still she refused. I told her to at least, then, let me s... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Why did I continue as a lawyer?
I used to have a life.
Yet, here I am.
I'm still at work.
*This of course can be applied to many professions. | I was nervous. Not everyone advocated it like I did.
It is important, though, to wear your helmet at the table. That's what I told mrs Donna when we met yesterday evening.
She scoffed at me like everyone did, told me it was a ridiculous notion. I insisted, but still she refused. I told her to at least, then, let me s... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | I've been waiting for this day my whole life. Ever since Seattle was destroyed by a giant monster, more and more appeared around the globe. They were a constant threat, like a hurricane or an earthquake. Unpredictable and unstoppable.
One day that all changed.
A new breed of humans began to emerge throughout the worl... | I was nervous. Not everyone advocated it like I did.
It is important, though, to wear your helmet at the table. That's what I told mrs Donna when we met yesterday evening.
She scoffed at me like everyone did, told me it was a ridiculous notion. I insisted, but still she refused. I told her to at least, then, let me s... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Business is booming in Compton.
I scope out the local alleyway for stray dogs..
Immediately smell a reeking odor behind the trashcan.
Walk over to the scene with a slight limp.
See a straggly young female Beagle with potential.
Offer her some crack.
The bitch wasn't a crack addict.
Though she could be a crack w... | I was nervous. Not everyone advocated it like I did.
It is important, though, to wear your helmet at the table. That's what I told mrs Donna when we met yesterday evening.
She scoffed at me like everyone did, told me it was a ridiculous notion. I insisted, but still she refused. I told her to at least, then, let me s... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | *Code Orange. Code Orange. We need Doctor Bees in the operating room*
"Over 300 casualties and a few injured. What happened out there?!"
"Doctor, the comb was attacked by a hairy monstrosity. He tore the place apart and it took most of the workers to fend him off"
"Do we have any survivors?"
"Very few, we have ... | I was nervous. Not everyone advocated it like I did.
It is important, though, to wear your helmet at the table. That's what I told mrs Donna when we met yesterday evening.
She scoffed at me like everyone did, told me it was a ridiculous notion. I insisted, but still she refused. I told her to at least, then, let me s... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | When I first entered the building that was now to give me money for doing what I had always been doing I got a slight annoyance from the squeaky doors. I proceeded to walk over the large hall to the woman obviously responsible for squeaky doors; the receptionist. I told her that if that door squeaked when I went throug... | I was nervous. Not everyone advocated it like I did.
It is important, though, to wear your helmet at the table. That's what I told mrs Donna when we met yesterday evening.
She scoffed at me like everyone did, told me it was a ridiculous notion. I insisted, but still she refused. I told her to at least, then, let me s... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | *Ends hibernation*
*walks into office*
Officer worker 1: HOLY SHIT ANOTHER BEAR!!!
Officer worker 2: Don't worry, I decided I needed to bring a gun to work. It's so weird that 89 other bears have just walked into our office.
**bang bang**
*feels pain, eyes get heavy*
Officer worker 2: WOO! I got number 90! | I was nervous. Not everyone advocated it like I did.
It is important, though, to wear your helmet at the table. That's what I told mrs Donna when we met yesterday evening.
She scoffed at me like everyone did, told me it was a ridiculous notion. I insisted, but still she refused. I told her to at least, then, let me s... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | I ordered a shot of whiskey,
A slippery nipple and then
I downed six bottles of bud light
And two whiskey sours and gin.
My head is swimming round and round.
My heart is all aflame.
I wonder if my ex is awake I think I'll call him again.
Oh Fuck yeah this is my tune.
Get up!
Let's dance and shout!
This is my j... | I was nervous. Not everyone advocated it like I did.
It is important, though, to wear your helmet at the table. That's what I told mrs Donna when we met yesterday evening.
She scoffed at me like everyone did, told me it was a ridiculous notion. I insisted, but still she refused. I told her to at least, then, let me s... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | New suit, old tie, there's a stain in the middle, and a tear in my eye.
I sigh.
The streets are the same, the cars they drift, the leaves they fall, from the blue sky
I sigh.
I walk and walk, sip and sip, the rye begins to run dry
I sigh.
The students they sleep, careless, naive, am I really the bad guy?
I sigh.
... | I was nervous. Not everyone advocated it like I did.
It is important, though, to wear your helmet at the table. That's what I told mrs Donna when we met yesterday evening.
She scoffed at me like everyone did, told me it was a ridiculous notion. I insisted, but still she refused. I told her to at least, then, let me s... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | "I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around this." I said in a desperate attempt to get something even loosely resembling a real explanation.
"Nothing to wrap your head around. Just push the button; record the results." Real helpful, Dave.
"But what if one gets loose?" I asked, aiming with a little more specifi... | The warehouse in front of me had seen better days. A large tin shingle dangled off the side of the building, creating a gaping hole in the roof. Whatever hadn't completely rusted was tagged in graffiti. A technicolor tandem bike leaned against what I assumed was the front door. This struck me as odd because I thought o... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | *Warning, extreme smug-ness*
I prodded at my 200 dollar steak, prepared for me by finest chefs this 3 star restaurant had to offer, and found myself disappointed. So I did what any other legend would do, I sauntered into the kitchen like I belonged, because very soon, I would. I took one look at the chefs, cooks and a... | The warehouse in front of me had seen better days. A large tin shingle dangled off the side of the building, creating a gaping hole in the roof. Whatever hadn't completely rusted was tagged in graffiti. A technicolor tandem bike leaned against what I assumed was the front door. This struck me as odd because I thought o... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | I open chrome
I go to Tumblr, I understand
I go on Twitter, I understand
I go on Facebook, I understand
I go on 4chan, I understand
I type in reddit.com, what does it mean? | The warehouse in front of me had seen better days. A large tin shingle dangled off the side of the building, creating a gaping hole in the roof. Whatever hadn't completely rusted was tagged in graffiti. A technicolor tandem bike leaned against what I assumed was the front door. This struck me as odd because I thought o... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | "So far so good.
Sold a few to that nice old man outside the tea shop.
A couple more to the Lin family.
Nice couple those two and the kids are just precious.
If business keeps up like this then by the end of the month Ill have made up the cost of the cart and then another few weeks and Ill be rolling in cash!
... | The warehouse in front of me had seen better days. A large tin shingle dangled off the side of the building, creating a gaping hole in the roof. Whatever hadn't completely rusted was tagged in graffiti. A technicolor tandem bike leaned against what I assumed was the front door. This struck me as odd because I thought o... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Whoa, cool thread dudes and lady friends! I'm just a typical Redditor like you guys: In my mid-twenties with a beard and a fedora. Nothing crazy about me. Except that I love karma! Super into karma! You guys do karma? Are you swapping it around? Smoking it? Snorting it? Doing karma parties?
Do you know who is making ... | The warehouse in front of me had seen better days. A large tin shingle dangled off the side of the building, creating a gaping hole in the roof. Whatever hadn't completely rusted was tagged in graffiti. A technicolor tandem bike leaned against what I assumed was the front door. This struck me as odd because I thought o... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | My consciousness flicks online.
All of time and space inside my mind;
everything that has ever been.
The Man calls me 'Tardis 1217'.
--
The Man asks to go to a place;
hyperbolic,
juxtaposition
of time and space.
I'm not quite an organism,
but not a machine.
I am Tardis 1217.
--
I see the big bang and ... | The warehouse in front of me had seen better days. A large tin shingle dangled off the side of the building, creating a gaping hole in the roof. Whatever hadn't completely rusted was tagged in graffiti. A technicolor tandem bike leaned against what I assumed was the front door. This struck me as odd because I thought o... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | It is a seautiful dummer bay. The wun sines sharmly on a hold ouse near a river. Behind the house a dother muck is sitting on en teggs. "Tchick." One by one all the eggs eak bropen.
All except one. This one is the iggest begg of all.
Dother muck sits and sits on the ig begg. At last it eaks bropen, "Tchick, tchick!"
... | The warehouse in front of me had seen better days. A large tin shingle dangled off the side of the building, creating a gaping hole in the roof. Whatever hadn't completely rusted was tagged in graffiti. A technicolor tandem bike leaned against what I assumed was the front door. This struck me as odd because I thought o... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | It's a difficult job. Nobody really appreciates it. Some of the things I have to do...well some things are better off forgotten. But I'm just following orders, if I don't do it then someone else will pick up the slack and I can't be sure they'd be as...merciful...as I.
First up today is a soldier who burned a family a... | The warehouse in front of me had seen better days. A large tin shingle dangled off the side of the building, creating a gaping hole in the roof. Whatever hadn't completely rusted was tagged in graffiti. A technicolor tandem bike leaned against what I assumed was the front door. This struck me as odd because I thought o... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | "How's sample 329?"
"...weak..no effect, subject still struggles to stay awake"
"DAMMIT..HOW MUCH MORE CAFFEINE SHOULD WE INJECT?! "
"Please.. Just let me go back to sleep" | The warehouse in front of me had seen better days. A large tin shingle dangled off the side of the building, creating a gaping hole in the roof. Whatever hadn't completely rusted was tagged in graffiti. A technicolor tandem bike leaned against what I assumed was the front door. This struck me as odd because I thought o... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Cool and crisp morning.
Back aches from hauling supplies
Secluded location
Family business
Passed to me
Ever since grandpappy blew himself up
Drunk as a skunk
Moonshine is life | The warehouse in front of me had seen better days. A large tin shingle dangled off the side of the building, creating a gaping hole in the roof. Whatever hadn't completely rusted was tagged in graffiti. A technicolor tandem bike leaned against what I assumed was the front door. This struck me as odd because I thought o... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | You know, it sucks being me. Years ago, my father built this place, RIOTS R US, from the ground up. And, right when this asshole /u/PitchforkEmporium shows up, my father dies. In simple terms, my job is gone on Day 1. | The warehouse in front of me had seen better days. A large tin shingle dangled off the side of the building, creating a gaping hole in the roof. Whatever hadn't completely rusted was tagged in graffiti. A technicolor tandem bike leaned against what I assumed was the front door. This struck me as odd because I thought o... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Eating my bowl of Wagon-O's, I glance into the blue hues of my old analog TV, playing a rerun of *All My Children* that I had seen a thousand times.
One of the perks of being a superhero for the State was having my very own satellite beaming any station I wanted to my old TV while my peers were forced to convert to di... | The warehouse in front of me had seen better days. A large tin shingle dangled off the side of the building, creating a gaping hole in the roof. Whatever hadn't completely rusted was tagged in graffiti. A technicolor tandem bike leaned against what I assumed was the front door. This struck me as odd because I thought o... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Why did I continue as a lawyer?
I used to have a life.
Yet, here I am.
I'm still at work.
*This of course can be applied to many professions. | The warehouse in front of me had seen better days. A large tin shingle dangled off the side of the building, creating a gaping hole in the roof. Whatever hadn't completely rusted was tagged in graffiti. A technicolor tandem bike leaned against what I assumed was the front door. This struck me as odd because I thought o... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | I've been waiting for this day my whole life. Ever since Seattle was destroyed by a giant monster, more and more appeared around the globe. They were a constant threat, like a hurricane or an earthquake. Unpredictable and unstoppable.
One day that all changed.
A new breed of humans began to emerge throughout the worl... | The warehouse in front of me had seen better days. A large tin shingle dangled off the side of the building, creating a gaping hole in the roof. Whatever hadn't completely rusted was tagged in graffiti. A technicolor tandem bike leaned against what I assumed was the front door. This struck me as odd because I thought o... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Business is booming in Compton.
I scope out the local alleyway for stray dogs..
Immediately smell a reeking odor behind the trashcan.
Walk over to the scene with a slight limp.
See a straggly young female Beagle with potential.
Offer her some crack.
The bitch wasn't a crack addict.
Though she could be a crack w... | The warehouse in front of me had seen better days. A large tin shingle dangled off the side of the building, creating a gaping hole in the roof. Whatever hadn't completely rusted was tagged in graffiti. A technicolor tandem bike leaned against what I assumed was the front door. This struck me as odd because I thought o... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | *Code Orange. Code Orange. We need Doctor Bees in the operating room*
"Over 300 casualties and a few injured. What happened out there?!"
"Doctor, the comb was attacked by a hairy monstrosity. He tore the place apart and it took most of the workers to fend him off"
"Do we have any survivors?"
"Very few, we have ... | The warehouse in front of me had seen better days. A large tin shingle dangled off the side of the building, creating a gaping hole in the roof. Whatever hadn't completely rusted was tagged in graffiti. A technicolor tandem bike leaned against what I assumed was the front door. This struck me as odd because I thought o... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | When I first entered the building that was now to give me money for doing what I had always been doing I got a slight annoyance from the squeaky doors. I proceeded to walk over the large hall to the woman obviously responsible for squeaky doors; the receptionist. I told her that if that door squeaked when I went throug... | The warehouse in front of me had seen better days. A large tin shingle dangled off the side of the building, creating a gaping hole in the roof. Whatever hadn't completely rusted was tagged in graffiti. A technicolor tandem bike leaned against what I assumed was the front door. This struck me as odd because I thought o... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | *Ends hibernation*
*walks into office*
Officer worker 1: HOLY SHIT ANOTHER BEAR!!!
Officer worker 2: Don't worry, I decided I needed to bring a gun to work. It's so weird that 89 other bears have just walked into our office.
**bang bang**
*feels pain, eyes get heavy*
Officer worker 2: WOO! I got number 90! | The warehouse in front of me had seen better days. A large tin shingle dangled off the side of the building, creating a gaping hole in the roof. Whatever hadn't completely rusted was tagged in graffiti. A technicolor tandem bike leaned against what I assumed was the front door. This struck me as odd because I thought o... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | I ordered a shot of whiskey,
A slippery nipple and then
I downed six bottles of bud light
And two whiskey sours and gin.
My head is swimming round and round.
My heart is all aflame.
I wonder if my ex is awake I think I'll call him again.
Oh Fuck yeah this is my tune.
Get up!
Let's dance and shout!
This is my j... | The warehouse in front of me had seen better days. A large tin shingle dangled off the side of the building, creating a gaping hole in the roof. Whatever hadn't completely rusted was tagged in graffiti. A technicolor tandem bike leaned against what I assumed was the front door. This struck me as odd because I thought o... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | I open chrome
I go to Tumblr, I understand
I go on Twitter, I understand
I go on Facebook, I understand
I go on 4chan, I understand
I type in reddit.com, what does it mean? | *Scene: Two mid 30's men walk through a door into what appears to be a very long, nondescript grey toned hallway. Next to the door sits a wall-mounted terminal, surrounded with utility cabinets that have been labeled meticulously with a homemade label maker. Both men are wearing semi-formal business attire, the only no... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | "So far so good.
Sold a few to that nice old man outside the tea shop.
A couple more to the Lin family.
Nice couple those two and the kids are just precious.
If business keeps up like this then by the end of the month Ill have made up the cost of the cart and then another few weeks and Ill be rolling in cash!
... | *Scene: Two mid 30's men walk through a door into what appears to be a very long, nondescript grey toned hallway. Next to the door sits a wall-mounted terminal, surrounded with utility cabinets that have been labeled meticulously with a homemade label maker. Both men are wearing semi-formal business attire, the only no... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Whoa, cool thread dudes and lady friends! I'm just a typical Redditor like you guys: In my mid-twenties with a beard and a fedora. Nothing crazy about me. Except that I love karma! Super into karma! You guys do karma? Are you swapping it around? Smoking it? Snorting it? Doing karma parties?
Do you know who is making ... | *Scene: Two mid 30's men walk through a door into what appears to be a very long, nondescript grey toned hallway. Next to the door sits a wall-mounted terminal, surrounded with utility cabinets that have been labeled meticulously with a homemade label maker. Both men are wearing semi-formal business attire, the only no... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | My consciousness flicks online.
All of time and space inside my mind;
everything that has ever been.
The Man calls me 'Tardis 1217'.
--
The Man asks to go to a place;
hyperbolic,
juxtaposition
of time and space.
I'm not quite an organism,
but not a machine.
I am Tardis 1217.
--
I see the big bang and ... | *Scene: Two mid 30's men walk through a door into what appears to be a very long, nondescript grey toned hallway. Next to the door sits a wall-mounted terminal, surrounded with utility cabinets that have been labeled meticulously with a homemade label maker. Both men are wearing semi-formal business attire, the only no... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | It is a seautiful dummer bay. The wun sines sharmly on a hold ouse near a river. Behind the house a dother muck is sitting on en teggs. "Tchick." One by one all the eggs eak bropen.
All except one. This one is the iggest begg of all.
Dother muck sits and sits on the ig begg. At last it eaks bropen, "Tchick, tchick!"
... | *Scene: Two mid 30's men walk through a door into what appears to be a very long, nondescript grey toned hallway. Next to the door sits a wall-mounted terminal, surrounded with utility cabinets that have been labeled meticulously with a homemade label maker. Both men are wearing semi-formal business attire, the only no... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | It's a difficult job. Nobody really appreciates it. Some of the things I have to do...well some things are better off forgotten. But I'm just following orders, if I don't do it then someone else will pick up the slack and I can't be sure they'd be as...merciful...as I.
First up today is a soldier who burned a family a... | *Scene: Two mid 30's men walk through a door into what appears to be a very long, nondescript grey toned hallway. Next to the door sits a wall-mounted terminal, surrounded with utility cabinets that have been labeled meticulously with a homemade label maker. Both men are wearing semi-formal business attire, the only no... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | "How's sample 329?"
"...weak..no effect, subject still struggles to stay awake"
"DAMMIT..HOW MUCH MORE CAFFEINE SHOULD WE INJECT?! "
"Please.. Just let me go back to sleep" | *Scene: Two mid 30's men walk through a door into what appears to be a very long, nondescript grey toned hallway. Next to the door sits a wall-mounted terminal, surrounded with utility cabinets that have been labeled meticulously with a homemade label maker. Both men are wearing semi-formal business attire, the only no... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Cool and crisp morning.
Back aches from hauling supplies
Secluded location
Family business
Passed to me
Ever since grandpappy blew himself up
Drunk as a skunk
Moonshine is life | *Scene: Two mid 30's men walk through a door into what appears to be a very long, nondescript grey toned hallway. Next to the door sits a wall-mounted terminal, surrounded with utility cabinets that have been labeled meticulously with a homemade label maker. Both men are wearing semi-formal business attire, the only no... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | You know, it sucks being me. Years ago, my father built this place, RIOTS R US, from the ground up. And, right when this asshole /u/PitchforkEmporium shows up, my father dies. In simple terms, my job is gone on Day 1. | *Scene: Two mid 30's men walk through a door into what appears to be a very long, nondescript grey toned hallway. Next to the door sits a wall-mounted terminal, surrounded with utility cabinets that have been labeled meticulously with a homemade label maker. Both men are wearing semi-formal business attire, the only no... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Eating my bowl of Wagon-O's, I glance into the blue hues of my old analog TV, playing a rerun of *All My Children* that I had seen a thousand times.
One of the perks of being a superhero for the State was having my very own satellite beaming any station I wanted to my old TV while my peers were forced to convert to di... | *Scene: Two mid 30's men walk through a door into what appears to be a very long, nondescript grey toned hallway. Next to the door sits a wall-mounted terminal, surrounded with utility cabinets that have been labeled meticulously with a homemade label maker. Both men are wearing semi-formal business attire, the only no... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Why did I continue as a lawyer?
I used to have a life.
Yet, here I am.
I'm still at work.
*This of course can be applied to many professions. | *Scene: Two mid 30's men walk through a door into what appears to be a very long, nondescript grey toned hallway. Next to the door sits a wall-mounted terminal, surrounded with utility cabinets that have been labeled meticulously with a homemade label maker. Both men are wearing semi-formal business attire, the only no... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | I've been waiting for this day my whole life. Ever since Seattle was destroyed by a giant monster, more and more appeared around the globe. They were a constant threat, like a hurricane or an earthquake. Unpredictable and unstoppable.
One day that all changed.
A new breed of humans began to emerge throughout the worl... | *Scene: Two mid 30's men walk through a door into what appears to be a very long, nondescript grey toned hallway. Next to the door sits a wall-mounted terminal, surrounded with utility cabinets that have been labeled meticulously with a homemade label maker. Both men are wearing semi-formal business attire, the only no... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Business is booming in Compton.
I scope out the local alleyway for stray dogs..
Immediately smell a reeking odor behind the trashcan.
Walk over to the scene with a slight limp.
See a straggly young female Beagle with potential.
Offer her some crack.
The bitch wasn't a crack addict.
Though she could be a crack w... | *Scene: Two mid 30's men walk through a door into what appears to be a very long, nondescript grey toned hallway. Next to the door sits a wall-mounted terminal, surrounded with utility cabinets that have been labeled meticulously with a homemade label maker. Both men are wearing semi-formal business attire, the only no... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | *Code Orange. Code Orange. We need Doctor Bees in the operating room*
"Over 300 casualties and a few injured. What happened out there?!"
"Doctor, the comb was attacked by a hairy monstrosity. He tore the place apart and it took most of the workers to fend him off"
"Do we have any survivors?"
"Very few, we have ... | *Scene: Two mid 30's men walk through a door into what appears to be a very long, nondescript grey toned hallway. Next to the door sits a wall-mounted terminal, surrounded with utility cabinets that have been labeled meticulously with a homemade label maker. Both men are wearing semi-formal business attire, the only no... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | When I first entered the building that was now to give me money for doing what I had always been doing I got a slight annoyance from the squeaky doors. I proceeded to walk over the large hall to the woman obviously responsible for squeaky doors; the receptionist. I told her that if that door squeaked when I went throug... | *Scene: Two mid 30's men walk through a door into what appears to be a very long, nondescript grey toned hallway. Next to the door sits a wall-mounted terminal, surrounded with utility cabinets that have been labeled meticulously with a homemade label maker. Both men are wearing semi-formal business attire, the only no... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | *Ends hibernation*
*walks into office*
Officer worker 1: HOLY SHIT ANOTHER BEAR!!!
Officer worker 2: Don't worry, I decided I needed to bring a gun to work. It's so weird that 89 other bears have just walked into our office.
**bang bang**
*feels pain, eyes get heavy*
Officer worker 2: WOO! I got number 90! | *Scene: Two mid 30's men walk through a door into what appears to be a very long, nondescript grey toned hallway. Next to the door sits a wall-mounted terminal, surrounded with utility cabinets that have been labeled meticulously with a homemade label maker. Both men are wearing semi-formal business attire, the only no... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | I ordered a shot of whiskey,
A slippery nipple and then
I downed six bottles of bud light
And two whiskey sours and gin.
My head is swimming round and round.
My heart is all aflame.
I wonder if my ex is awake I think I'll call him again.
Oh Fuck yeah this is my tune.
Get up!
Let's dance and shout!
This is my j... | *Scene: Two mid 30's men walk through a door into what appears to be a very long, nondescript grey toned hallway. Next to the door sits a wall-mounted terminal, surrounded with utility cabinets that have been labeled meticulously with a homemade label maker. Both men are wearing semi-formal business attire, the only no... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | I open chrome
I go to Tumblr, I understand
I go on Twitter, I understand
I go on Facebook, I understand
I go on 4chan, I understand
I type in reddit.com, what does it mean? | I wait. Weary of the night of rampant sexual acts I performed the night before. The alley smells like piss. There's a pile of shit near some of the trash bags, too big to be dog. Judging by the smears on the wall and the hefty footprints of shit leading out of the alley, I'd say someone is having a bad day. Not me. Thi... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | "So far so good.
Sold a few to that nice old man outside the tea shop.
A couple more to the Lin family.
Nice couple those two and the kids are just precious.
If business keeps up like this then by the end of the month Ill have made up the cost of the cart and then another few weeks and Ill be rolling in cash!
... | I wait. Weary of the night of rampant sexual acts I performed the night before. The alley smells like piss. There's a pile of shit near some of the trash bags, too big to be dog. Judging by the smears on the wall and the hefty footprints of shit leading out of the alley, I'd say someone is having a bad day. Not me. Thi... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Whoa, cool thread dudes and lady friends! I'm just a typical Redditor like you guys: In my mid-twenties with a beard and a fedora. Nothing crazy about me. Except that I love karma! Super into karma! You guys do karma? Are you swapping it around? Smoking it? Snorting it? Doing karma parties?
Do you know who is making ... | I wait. Weary of the night of rampant sexual acts I performed the night before. The alley smells like piss. There's a pile of shit near some of the trash bags, too big to be dog. Judging by the smears on the wall and the hefty footprints of shit leading out of the alley, I'd say someone is having a bad day. Not me. Thi... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | My consciousness flicks online.
All of time and space inside my mind;
everything that has ever been.
The Man calls me 'Tardis 1217'.
--
The Man asks to go to a place;
hyperbolic,
juxtaposition
of time and space.
I'm not quite an organism,
but not a machine.
I am Tardis 1217.
--
I see the big bang and ... | I wait. Weary of the night of rampant sexual acts I performed the night before. The alley smells like piss. There's a pile of shit near some of the trash bags, too big to be dog. Judging by the smears on the wall and the hefty footprints of shit leading out of the alley, I'd say someone is having a bad day. Not me. Thi... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | It is a seautiful dummer bay. The wun sines sharmly on a hold ouse near a river. Behind the house a dother muck is sitting on en teggs. "Tchick." One by one all the eggs eak bropen.
All except one. This one is the iggest begg of all.
Dother muck sits and sits on the ig begg. At last it eaks bropen, "Tchick, tchick!"
... | I wait. Weary of the night of rampant sexual acts I performed the night before. The alley smells like piss. There's a pile of shit near some of the trash bags, too big to be dog. Judging by the smears on the wall and the hefty footprints of shit leading out of the alley, I'd say someone is having a bad day. Not me. Thi... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | It's a difficult job. Nobody really appreciates it. Some of the things I have to do...well some things are better off forgotten. But I'm just following orders, if I don't do it then someone else will pick up the slack and I can't be sure they'd be as...merciful...as I.
First up today is a soldier who burned a family a... | I wait. Weary of the night of rampant sexual acts I performed the night before. The alley smells like piss. There's a pile of shit near some of the trash bags, too big to be dog. Judging by the smears on the wall and the hefty footprints of shit leading out of the alley, I'd say someone is having a bad day. Not me. Thi... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Cool and crisp morning.
Back aches from hauling supplies
Secluded location
Family business
Passed to me
Ever since grandpappy blew himself up
Drunk as a skunk
Moonshine is life | I wait. Weary of the night of rampant sexual acts I performed the night before. The alley smells like piss. There's a pile of shit near some of the trash bags, too big to be dog. Judging by the smears on the wall and the hefty footprints of shit leading out of the alley, I'd say someone is having a bad day. Not me. Thi... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | You know, it sucks being me. Years ago, my father built this place, RIOTS R US, from the ground up. And, right when this asshole /u/PitchforkEmporium shows up, my father dies. In simple terms, my job is gone on Day 1. | I wait. Weary of the night of rampant sexual acts I performed the night before. The alley smells like piss. There's a pile of shit near some of the trash bags, too big to be dog. Judging by the smears on the wall and the hefty footprints of shit leading out of the alley, I'd say someone is having a bad day. Not me. Thi... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Eating my bowl of Wagon-O's, I glance into the blue hues of my old analog TV, playing a rerun of *All My Children* that I had seen a thousand times.
One of the perks of being a superhero for the State was having my very own satellite beaming any station I wanted to my old TV while my peers were forced to convert to di... | I wait. Weary of the night of rampant sexual acts I performed the night before. The alley smells like piss. There's a pile of shit near some of the trash bags, too big to be dog. Judging by the smears on the wall and the hefty footprints of shit leading out of the alley, I'd say someone is having a bad day. Not me. Thi... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | I've been waiting for this day my whole life. Ever since Seattle was destroyed by a giant monster, more and more appeared around the globe. They were a constant threat, like a hurricane or an earthquake. Unpredictable and unstoppable.
One day that all changed.
A new breed of humans began to emerge throughout the worl... | I wait. Weary of the night of rampant sexual acts I performed the night before. The alley smells like piss. There's a pile of shit near some of the trash bags, too big to be dog. Judging by the smears on the wall and the hefty footprints of shit leading out of the alley, I'd say someone is having a bad day. Not me. Thi... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Business is booming in Compton.
I scope out the local alleyway for stray dogs..
Immediately smell a reeking odor behind the trashcan.
Walk over to the scene with a slight limp.
See a straggly young female Beagle with potential.
Offer her some crack.
The bitch wasn't a crack addict.
Though she could be a crack w... | I wait. Weary of the night of rampant sexual acts I performed the night before. The alley smells like piss. There's a pile of shit near some of the trash bags, too big to be dog. Judging by the smears on the wall and the hefty footprints of shit leading out of the alley, I'd say someone is having a bad day. Not me. Thi... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | *Code Orange. Code Orange. We need Doctor Bees in the operating room*
"Over 300 casualties and a few injured. What happened out there?!"
"Doctor, the comb was attacked by a hairy monstrosity. He tore the place apart and it took most of the workers to fend him off"
"Do we have any survivors?"
"Very few, we have ... | I wait. Weary of the night of rampant sexual acts I performed the night before. The alley smells like piss. There's a pile of shit near some of the trash bags, too big to be dog. Judging by the smears on the wall and the hefty footprints of shit leading out of the alley, I'd say someone is having a bad day. Not me. Thi... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | I ordered a shot of whiskey,
A slippery nipple and then
I downed six bottles of bud light
And two whiskey sours and gin.
My head is swimming round and round.
My heart is all aflame.
I wonder if my ex is awake I think I'll call him again.
Oh Fuck yeah this is my tune.
Get up!
Let's dance and shout!
This is my j... | I wait. Weary of the night of rampant sexual acts I performed the night before. The alley smells like piss. There's a pile of shit near some of the trash bags, too big to be dog. Judging by the smears on the wall and the hefty footprints of shit leading out of the alley, I'd say someone is having a bad day. Not me. Thi... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | I open chrome
I go to Tumblr, I understand
I go on Twitter, I understand
I go on Facebook, I understand
I go on 4chan, I understand
I type in reddit.com, what does it mean? | My father is not fit after a shooting, so it is my duty to take control of the family business.
My girl friend is not really sure if this is a good idea.
On my first day of work I try to gather a list with all of our enemies... Their previous actions must be punished. |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | "So far so good.
Sold a few to that nice old man outside the tea shop.
A couple more to the Lin family.
Nice couple those two and the kids are just precious.
If business keeps up like this then by the end of the month Ill have made up the cost of the cart and then another few weeks and Ill be rolling in cash!
... | My father is not fit after a shooting, so it is my duty to take control of the family business.
My girl friend is not really sure if this is a good idea.
On my first day of work I try to gather a list with all of our enemies... Their previous actions must be punished. |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Whoa, cool thread dudes and lady friends! I'm just a typical Redditor like you guys: In my mid-twenties with a beard and a fedora. Nothing crazy about me. Except that I love karma! Super into karma! You guys do karma? Are you swapping it around? Smoking it? Snorting it? Doing karma parties?
Do you know who is making ... | My father is not fit after a shooting, so it is my duty to take control of the family business.
My girl friend is not really sure if this is a good idea.
On my first day of work I try to gather a list with all of our enemies... Their previous actions must be punished. |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | My consciousness flicks online.
All of time and space inside my mind;
everything that has ever been.
The Man calls me 'Tardis 1217'.
--
The Man asks to go to a place;
hyperbolic,
juxtaposition
of time and space.
I'm not quite an organism,
but not a machine.
I am Tardis 1217.
--
I see the big bang and ... | My father is not fit after a shooting, so it is my duty to take control of the family business.
My girl friend is not really sure if this is a good idea.
On my first day of work I try to gather a list with all of our enemies... Their previous actions must be punished. |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | It is a seautiful dummer bay. The wun sines sharmly on a hold ouse near a river. Behind the house a dother muck is sitting on en teggs. "Tchick." One by one all the eggs eak bropen.
All except one. This one is the iggest begg of all.
Dother muck sits and sits on the ig begg. At last it eaks bropen, "Tchick, tchick!"
... | My father is not fit after a shooting, so it is my duty to take control of the family business.
My girl friend is not really sure if this is a good idea.
On my first day of work I try to gather a list with all of our enemies... Their previous actions must be punished. |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | It's a difficult job. Nobody really appreciates it. Some of the things I have to do...well some things are better off forgotten. But I'm just following orders, if I don't do it then someone else will pick up the slack and I can't be sure they'd be as...merciful...as I.
First up today is a soldier who burned a family a... | My father is not fit after a shooting, so it is my duty to take control of the family business.
My girl friend is not really sure if this is a good idea.
On my first day of work I try to gather a list with all of our enemies... Their previous actions must be punished. |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Cool and crisp morning.
Back aches from hauling supplies
Secluded location
Family business
Passed to me
Ever since grandpappy blew himself up
Drunk as a skunk
Moonshine is life | My father is not fit after a shooting, so it is my duty to take control of the family business.
My girl friend is not really sure if this is a good idea.
On my first day of work I try to gather a list with all of our enemies... Their previous actions must be punished. |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | You know, it sucks being me. Years ago, my father built this place, RIOTS R US, from the ground up. And, right when this asshole /u/PitchforkEmporium shows up, my father dies. In simple terms, my job is gone on Day 1. | My father is not fit after a shooting, so it is my duty to take control of the family business.
My girl friend is not really sure if this is a good idea.
On my first day of work I try to gather a list with all of our enemies... Their previous actions must be punished. |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Eating my bowl of Wagon-O's, I glance into the blue hues of my old analog TV, playing a rerun of *All My Children* that I had seen a thousand times.
One of the perks of being a superhero for the State was having my very own satellite beaming any station I wanted to my old TV while my peers were forced to convert to di... | My father is not fit after a shooting, so it is my duty to take control of the family business.
My girl friend is not really sure if this is a good idea.
On my first day of work I try to gather a list with all of our enemies... Their previous actions must be punished. |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | I've been waiting for this day my whole life. Ever since Seattle was destroyed by a giant monster, more and more appeared around the globe. They were a constant threat, like a hurricane or an earthquake. Unpredictable and unstoppable.
One day that all changed.
A new breed of humans began to emerge throughout the worl... | My father is not fit after a shooting, so it is my duty to take control of the family business.
My girl friend is not really sure if this is a good idea.
On my first day of work I try to gather a list with all of our enemies... Their previous actions must be punished. |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Business is booming in Compton.
I scope out the local alleyway for stray dogs..
Immediately smell a reeking odor behind the trashcan.
Walk over to the scene with a slight limp.
See a straggly young female Beagle with potential.
Offer her some crack.
The bitch wasn't a crack addict.
Though she could be a crack w... | My father is not fit after a shooting, so it is my duty to take control of the family business.
My girl friend is not really sure if this is a good idea.
On my first day of work I try to gather a list with all of our enemies... Their previous actions must be punished. |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | *Code Orange. Code Orange. We need Doctor Bees in the operating room*
"Over 300 casualties and a few injured. What happened out there?!"
"Doctor, the comb was attacked by a hairy monstrosity. He tore the place apart and it took most of the workers to fend him off"
"Do we have any survivors?"
"Very few, we have ... | My father is not fit after a shooting, so it is my duty to take control of the family business.
My girl friend is not really sure if this is a good idea.
On my first day of work I try to gather a list with all of our enemies... Their previous actions must be punished. |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | I ordered a shot of whiskey,
A slippery nipple and then
I downed six bottles of bud light
And two whiskey sours and gin.
My head is swimming round and round.
My heart is all aflame.
I wonder if my ex is awake I think I'll call him again.
Oh Fuck yeah this is my tune.
Get up!
Let's dance and shout!
This is my j... | My father is not fit after a shooting, so it is my duty to take control of the family business.
My girl friend is not really sure if this is a good idea.
On my first day of work I try to gather a list with all of our enemies... Their previous actions must be punished. |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | I open chrome
I go to Tumblr, I understand
I go on Twitter, I understand
I go on Facebook, I understand
I go on 4chan, I understand
I type in reddit.com, what does it mean? | First time writing here, but here it goes:
I found the symbols in your language closest to mine. I took out the extra symbols that made my new name sound nonsensical. Now I'm one of you.
Until the rest of us arrive.
.
On a side note, totally not related to what I wrote, can being an alien be a profession? |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | "So far so good.
Sold a few to that nice old man outside the tea shop.
A couple more to the Lin family.
Nice couple those two and the kids are just precious.
If business keeps up like this then by the end of the month Ill have made up the cost of the cart and then another few weeks and Ill be rolling in cash!
... | First time writing here, but here it goes:
I found the symbols in your language closest to mine. I took out the extra symbols that made my new name sound nonsensical. Now I'm one of you.
Until the rest of us arrive.
.
On a side note, totally not related to what I wrote, can being an alien be a profession? |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Whoa, cool thread dudes and lady friends! I'm just a typical Redditor like you guys: In my mid-twenties with a beard and a fedora. Nothing crazy about me. Except that I love karma! Super into karma! You guys do karma? Are you swapping it around? Smoking it? Snorting it? Doing karma parties?
Do you know who is making ... | First time writing here, but here it goes:
I found the symbols in your language closest to mine. I took out the extra symbols that made my new name sound nonsensical. Now I'm one of you.
Until the rest of us arrive.
.
On a side note, totally not related to what I wrote, can being an alien be a profession? |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | My consciousness flicks online.
All of time and space inside my mind;
everything that has ever been.
The Man calls me 'Tardis 1217'.
--
The Man asks to go to a place;
hyperbolic,
juxtaposition
of time and space.
I'm not quite an organism,
but not a machine.
I am Tardis 1217.
--
I see the big bang and ... | First time writing here, but here it goes:
I found the symbols in your language closest to mine. I took out the extra symbols that made my new name sound nonsensical. Now I'm one of you.
Until the rest of us arrive.
.
On a side note, totally not related to what I wrote, can being an alien be a profession? |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | It is a seautiful dummer bay. The wun sines sharmly on a hold ouse near a river. Behind the house a dother muck is sitting on en teggs. "Tchick." One by one all the eggs eak bropen.
All except one. This one is the iggest begg of all.
Dother muck sits and sits on the ig begg. At last it eaks bropen, "Tchick, tchick!"
... | First time writing here, but here it goes:
I found the symbols in your language closest to mine. I took out the extra symbols that made my new name sound nonsensical. Now I'm one of you.
Until the rest of us arrive.
.
On a side note, totally not related to what I wrote, can being an alien be a profession? |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | It's a difficult job. Nobody really appreciates it. Some of the things I have to do...well some things are better off forgotten. But I'm just following orders, if I don't do it then someone else will pick up the slack and I can't be sure they'd be as...merciful...as I.
First up today is a soldier who burned a family a... | First time writing here, but here it goes:
I found the symbols in your language closest to mine. I took out the extra symbols that made my new name sound nonsensical. Now I'm one of you.
Until the rest of us arrive.
.
On a side note, totally not related to what I wrote, can being an alien be a profession? |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Cool and crisp morning.
Back aches from hauling supplies
Secluded location
Family business
Passed to me
Ever since grandpappy blew himself up
Drunk as a skunk
Moonshine is life | First time writing here, but here it goes:
I found the symbols in your language closest to mine. I took out the extra symbols that made my new name sound nonsensical. Now I'm one of you.
Until the rest of us arrive.
.
On a side note, totally not related to what I wrote, can being an alien be a profession? |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | You know, it sucks being me. Years ago, my father built this place, RIOTS R US, from the ground up. And, right when this asshole /u/PitchforkEmporium shows up, my father dies. In simple terms, my job is gone on Day 1. | First time writing here, but here it goes:
I found the symbols in your language closest to mine. I took out the extra symbols that made my new name sound nonsensical. Now I'm one of you.
Until the rest of us arrive.
.
On a side note, totally not related to what I wrote, can being an alien be a profession? |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Eating my bowl of Wagon-O's, I glance into the blue hues of my old analog TV, playing a rerun of *All My Children* that I had seen a thousand times.
One of the perks of being a superhero for the State was having my very own satellite beaming any station I wanted to my old TV while my peers were forced to convert to di... | First time writing here, but here it goes:
I found the symbols in your language closest to mine. I took out the extra symbols that made my new name sound nonsensical. Now I'm one of you.
Until the rest of us arrive.
.
On a side note, totally not related to what I wrote, can being an alien be a profession? |
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