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If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Eating my bowl of Wagon-O's, I glance into the blue hues of my old analog TV, playing a rerun of *All My Children* that I had seen a thousand times. One of the perks of being a superhero for the State was having my very own satellite beaming any station I wanted to my old TV while my peers were forced to convert to di...
"I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around this." I said in a desperate attempt to get something even loosely resembling a real explanation. "Nothing to wrap your head around. Just push the button; record the results." Real helpful, Dave. "But what if one gets loose?" I asked, aiming with a little more specifi...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Why did I continue as a lawyer? I used to have a life. Yet, here I am. I'm still at work. *This of course can be applied to many professions.
"I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around this." I said in a desperate attempt to get something even loosely resembling a real explanation. "Nothing to wrap your head around. Just push the button; record the results." Real helpful, Dave. "But what if one gets loose?" I asked, aiming with a little more specifi...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I've been waiting for this day my whole life. Ever since Seattle was destroyed by a giant monster, more and more appeared around the globe. They were a constant threat, like a hurricane or an earthquake. Unpredictable and unstoppable. One day that all changed. A new breed of humans began to emerge throughout the worl...
"I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around this." I said in a desperate attempt to get something even loosely resembling a real explanation. "Nothing to wrap your head around. Just push the button; record the results." Real helpful, Dave. "But what if one gets loose?" I asked, aiming with a little more specifi...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Business is booming in Compton. I scope out the local alleyway for stray dogs.. Immediately smell a reeking odor behind the trashcan. Walk over to the scene with a slight limp. See a straggly young female Beagle with potential. Offer her some crack. The bitch wasn't a crack addict. Though she could be a crack w...
"I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around this." I said in a desperate attempt to get something even loosely resembling a real explanation. "Nothing to wrap your head around. Just push the button; record the results." Real helpful, Dave. "But what if one gets loose?" I asked, aiming with a little more specifi...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
*Code Orange. Code Orange. We need Doctor Bees in the operating room* "Over 300 casualties and a few injured. What happened out there?!" "Doctor, the comb was attacked by a hairy monstrosity. He tore the place apart and it took most of the workers to fend him off" "Do we have any survivors?" "Very few, we have ...
"I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around this." I said in a desperate attempt to get something even loosely resembling a real explanation. "Nothing to wrap your head around. Just push the button; record the results." Real helpful, Dave. "But what if one gets loose?" I asked, aiming with a little more specifi...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
When I first entered the building that was now to give me money for doing what I had always been doing I got a slight annoyance from the squeaky doors. I proceeded to walk over the large hall to the woman obviously responsible for squeaky doors; the receptionist. I told her that if that door squeaked when I went throug...
"I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around this." I said in a desperate attempt to get something even loosely resembling a real explanation. "Nothing to wrap your head around. Just push the button; record the results." Real helpful, Dave. "But what if one gets loose?" I asked, aiming with a little more specifi...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
*Ends hibernation* *walks into office* Officer worker 1: HOLY SHIT ANOTHER BEAR!!! Officer worker 2: Don't worry, I decided I needed to bring a gun to work. It's so weird that 89 other bears have just walked into our office. **bang bang** *feels pain, eyes get heavy* Officer worker 2: WOO! I got number 90!
"I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around this." I said in a desperate attempt to get something even loosely resembling a real explanation. "Nothing to wrap your head around. Just push the button; record the results." Real helpful, Dave. "But what if one gets loose?" I asked, aiming with a little more specifi...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I ordered a shot of whiskey, A slippery nipple and then I downed six bottles of bud light And two whiskey sours and gin. My head is swimming round and round. My heart is all aflame. I wonder if my ex is awake I think I'll call him again. Oh Fuck yeah this is my tune. Get up! Let's dance and shout! This is my j...
"I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around this." I said in a desperate attempt to get something even loosely resembling a real explanation. "Nothing to wrap your head around. Just push the button; record the results." Real helpful, Dave. "But what if one gets loose?" I asked, aiming with a little more specifi...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
"How's sample 329?" "...weak..no effect, subject still struggles to stay awake" "DAMMIT..HOW MUCH MORE CAFFEINE SHOULD WE INJECT?! " "Please.. Just let me go back to sleep"
*Warning, extreme smug-ness* I prodded at my 200 dollar steak, prepared for me by finest chefs this 3 star restaurant had to offer, and found myself disappointed. So I did what any other legend would do, I sauntered into the kitchen like I belonged, because very soon, I would. I took one look at the chefs, cooks and a...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Cool and crisp morning. Back aches from hauling supplies Secluded location Family business Passed to me Ever since grandpappy blew himself up Drunk as a skunk Moonshine is life
*Warning, extreme smug-ness* I prodded at my 200 dollar steak, prepared for me by finest chefs this 3 star restaurant had to offer, and found myself disappointed. So I did what any other legend would do, I sauntered into the kitchen like I belonged, because very soon, I would. I took one look at the chefs, cooks and a...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
You know, it sucks being me. Years ago, my father built this place, RIOTS R US, from the ground up. And, right when this asshole /u/PitchforkEmporium shows up, my father dies. In simple terms, my job is gone on Day 1.
*Warning, extreme smug-ness* I prodded at my 200 dollar steak, prepared for me by finest chefs this 3 star restaurant had to offer, and found myself disappointed. So I did what any other legend would do, I sauntered into the kitchen like I belonged, because very soon, I would. I took one look at the chefs, cooks and a...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Eating my bowl of Wagon-O's, I glance into the blue hues of my old analog TV, playing a rerun of *All My Children* that I had seen a thousand times. One of the perks of being a superhero for the State was having my very own satellite beaming any station I wanted to my old TV while my peers were forced to convert to di...
*Warning, extreme smug-ness* I prodded at my 200 dollar steak, prepared for me by finest chefs this 3 star restaurant had to offer, and found myself disappointed. So I did what any other legend would do, I sauntered into the kitchen like I belonged, because very soon, I would. I took one look at the chefs, cooks and a...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Why did I continue as a lawyer? I used to have a life. Yet, here I am. I'm still at work. *This of course can be applied to many professions.
*Warning, extreme smug-ness* I prodded at my 200 dollar steak, prepared for me by finest chefs this 3 star restaurant had to offer, and found myself disappointed. So I did what any other legend would do, I sauntered into the kitchen like I belonged, because very soon, I would. I took one look at the chefs, cooks and a...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I've been waiting for this day my whole life. Ever since Seattle was destroyed by a giant monster, more and more appeared around the globe. They were a constant threat, like a hurricane or an earthquake. Unpredictable and unstoppable. One day that all changed. A new breed of humans began to emerge throughout the worl...
*Warning, extreme smug-ness* I prodded at my 200 dollar steak, prepared for me by finest chefs this 3 star restaurant had to offer, and found myself disappointed. So I did what any other legend would do, I sauntered into the kitchen like I belonged, because very soon, I would. I took one look at the chefs, cooks and a...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Business is booming in Compton. I scope out the local alleyway for stray dogs.. Immediately smell a reeking odor behind the trashcan. Walk over to the scene with a slight limp. See a straggly young female Beagle with potential. Offer her some crack. The bitch wasn't a crack addict. Though she could be a crack w...
*Warning, extreme smug-ness* I prodded at my 200 dollar steak, prepared for me by finest chefs this 3 star restaurant had to offer, and found myself disappointed. So I did what any other legend would do, I sauntered into the kitchen like I belonged, because very soon, I would. I took one look at the chefs, cooks and a...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
*Code Orange. Code Orange. We need Doctor Bees in the operating room* "Over 300 casualties and a few injured. What happened out there?!" "Doctor, the comb was attacked by a hairy monstrosity. He tore the place apart and it took most of the workers to fend him off" "Do we have any survivors?" "Very few, we have ...
*Warning, extreme smug-ness* I prodded at my 200 dollar steak, prepared for me by finest chefs this 3 star restaurant had to offer, and found myself disappointed. So I did what any other legend would do, I sauntered into the kitchen like I belonged, because very soon, I would. I took one look at the chefs, cooks and a...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
When I first entered the building that was now to give me money for doing what I had always been doing I got a slight annoyance from the squeaky doors. I proceeded to walk over the large hall to the woman obviously responsible for squeaky doors; the receptionist. I told her that if that door squeaked when I went throug...
*Warning, extreme smug-ness* I prodded at my 200 dollar steak, prepared for me by finest chefs this 3 star restaurant had to offer, and found myself disappointed. So I did what any other legend would do, I sauntered into the kitchen like I belonged, because very soon, I would. I took one look at the chefs, cooks and a...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
*Ends hibernation* *walks into office* Officer worker 1: HOLY SHIT ANOTHER BEAR!!! Officer worker 2: Don't worry, I decided I needed to bring a gun to work. It's so weird that 89 other bears have just walked into our office. **bang bang** *feels pain, eyes get heavy* Officer worker 2: WOO! I got number 90!
*Warning, extreme smug-ness* I prodded at my 200 dollar steak, prepared for me by finest chefs this 3 star restaurant had to offer, and found myself disappointed. So I did what any other legend would do, I sauntered into the kitchen like I belonged, because very soon, I would. I took one look at the chefs, cooks and a...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I ordered a shot of whiskey, A slippery nipple and then I downed six bottles of bud light And two whiskey sours and gin. My head is swimming round and round. My heart is all aflame. I wonder if my ex is awake I think I'll call him again. Oh Fuck yeah this is my tune. Get up! Let's dance and shout! This is my j...
*Warning, extreme smug-ness* I prodded at my 200 dollar steak, prepared for me by finest chefs this 3 star restaurant had to offer, and found myself disappointed. So I did what any other legend would do, I sauntered into the kitchen like I belonged, because very soon, I would. I took one look at the chefs, cooks and a...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Cool and crisp morning. Back aches from hauling supplies Secluded location Family business Passed to me Ever since grandpappy blew himself up Drunk as a skunk Moonshine is life
I open chrome I go to Tumblr, I understand I go on Twitter, I understand I go on Facebook, I understand I go on 4chan, I understand I type in reddit.com, what does it mean?
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
You know, it sucks being me. Years ago, my father built this place, RIOTS R US, from the ground up. And, right when this asshole /u/PitchforkEmporium shows up, my father dies. In simple terms, my job is gone on Day 1.
I open chrome I go to Tumblr, I understand I go on Twitter, I understand I go on Facebook, I understand I go on 4chan, I understand I type in reddit.com, what does it mean?
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
You know, it sucks being me. Years ago, my father built this place, RIOTS R US, from the ground up. And, right when this asshole /u/PitchforkEmporium shows up, my father dies. In simple terms, my job is gone on Day 1.
"So far so good. Sold a few to that nice old man outside the tea shop. A couple more to the Lin family. Nice couple those two and the kids are just precious. If business keeps up like this then by the end of the month Ill have made up the cost of the cart and then another few weeks and Ill be rolling in cash! ...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
You know, it sucks being me. Years ago, my father built this place, RIOTS R US, from the ground up. And, right when this asshole /u/PitchforkEmporium shows up, my father dies. In simple terms, my job is gone on Day 1.
Whoa, cool thread dudes and lady friends! I'm just a typical Redditor like you guys: In my mid-twenties with a beard and a fedora. Nothing crazy about me. Except that I love karma! Super into karma! You guys do karma? Are you swapping it around? Smoking it? Snorting it? Doing karma parties? Do you know who is making ...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
You know, it sucks being me. Years ago, my father built this place, RIOTS R US, from the ground up. And, right when this asshole /u/PitchforkEmporium shows up, my father dies. In simple terms, my job is gone on Day 1.
"How's sample 329?" "...weak..no effect, subject still struggles to stay awake" "DAMMIT..HOW MUCH MORE CAFFEINE SHOULD WE INJECT?! " "Please.. Just let me go back to sleep"
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Eating my bowl of Wagon-O's, I glance into the blue hues of my old analog TV, playing a rerun of *All My Children* that I had seen a thousand times. One of the perks of being a superhero for the State was having my very own satellite beaming any station I wanted to my old TV while my peers were forced to convert to di...
"How's sample 329?" "...weak..no effect, subject still struggles to stay awake" "DAMMIT..HOW MUCH MORE CAFFEINE SHOULD WE INJECT?! " "Please.. Just let me go back to sleep"
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Why did I continue as a lawyer? I used to have a life. Yet, here I am. I'm still at work. *This of course can be applied to many professions.
"How's sample 329?" "...weak..no effect, subject still struggles to stay awake" "DAMMIT..HOW MUCH MORE CAFFEINE SHOULD WE INJECT?! " "Please.. Just let me go back to sleep"
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I've been waiting for this day my whole life. Ever since Seattle was destroyed by a giant monster, more and more appeared around the globe. They were a constant threat, like a hurricane or an earthquake. Unpredictable and unstoppable. One day that all changed. A new breed of humans began to emerge throughout the worl...
"How's sample 329?" "...weak..no effect, subject still struggles to stay awake" "DAMMIT..HOW MUCH MORE CAFFEINE SHOULD WE INJECT?! " "Please.. Just let me go back to sleep"
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Business is booming in Compton. I scope out the local alleyway for stray dogs.. Immediately smell a reeking odor behind the trashcan. Walk over to the scene with a slight limp. See a straggly young female Beagle with potential. Offer her some crack. The bitch wasn't a crack addict. Though she could be a crack w...
"How's sample 329?" "...weak..no effect, subject still struggles to stay awake" "DAMMIT..HOW MUCH MORE CAFFEINE SHOULD WE INJECT?! " "Please.. Just let me go back to sleep"
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
*Code Orange. Code Orange. We need Doctor Bees in the operating room* "Over 300 casualties and a few injured. What happened out there?!" "Doctor, the comb was attacked by a hairy monstrosity. He tore the place apart and it took most of the workers to fend him off" "Do we have any survivors?" "Very few, we have ...
"How's sample 329?" "...weak..no effect, subject still struggles to stay awake" "DAMMIT..HOW MUCH MORE CAFFEINE SHOULD WE INJECT?! " "Please.. Just let me go back to sleep"
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
When I first entered the building that was now to give me money for doing what I had always been doing I got a slight annoyance from the squeaky doors. I proceeded to walk over the large hall to the woman obviously responsible for squeaky doors; the receptionist. I told her that if that door squeaked when I went throug...
"How's sample 329?" "...weak..no effect, subject still struggles to stay awake" "DAMMIT..HOW MUCH MORE CAFFEINE SHOULD WE INJECT?! " "Please.. Just let me go back to sleep"
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
*Ends hibernation* *walks into office* Officer worker 1: HOLY SHIT ANOTHER BEAR!!! Officer worker 2: Don't worry, I decided I needed to bring a gun to work. It's so weird that 89 other bears have just walked into our office. **bang bang** *feels pain, eyes get heavy* Officer worker 2: WOO! I got number 90!
"How's sample 329?" "...weak..no effect, subject still struggles to stay awake" "DAMMIT..HOW MUCH MORE CAFFEINE SHOULD WE INJECT?! " "Please.. Just let me go back to sleep"
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I ordered a shot of whiskey, A slippery nipple and then I downed six bottles of bud light And two whiskey sours and gin. My head is swimming round and round. My heart is all aflame. I wonder if my ex is awake I think I'll call him again. Oh Fuck yeah this is my tune. Get up! Let's dance and shout! This is my j...
"How's sample 329?" "...weak..no effect, subject still struggles to stay awake" "DAMMIT..HOW MUCH MORE CAFFEINE SHOULD WE INJECT?! " "Please.. Just let me go back to sleep"
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
You know, it sucks being me. Years ago, my father built this place, RIOTS R US, from the ground up. And, right when this asshole /u/PitchforkEmporium shows up, my father dies. In simple terms, my job is gone on Day 1.
Cool and crisp morning. Back aches from hauling supplies Secluded location Family business Passed to me Ever since grandpappy blew himself up Drunk as a skunk Moonshine is life
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
You know, it sucks being me. Years ago, my father built this place, RIOTS R US, from the ground up. And, right when this asshole /u/PitchforkEmporium shows up, my father dies. In simple terms, my job is gone on Day 1.
"There it is boys!" Captain Eagle shouted while pointing to a ship rising up from the horizon. This was it. We had been chasing a notorious pirate for about 3 weeks now and finally caught up to him. "ROW!" The ship quickly surged forward from the strength of the oarmen below deck as the knights assembled by the railin...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Eating my bowl of Wagon-O's, I glance into the blue hues of my old analog TV, playing a rerun of *All My Children* that I had seen a thousand times. One of the perks of being a superhero for the State was having my very own satellite beaming any station I wanted to my old TV while my peers were forced to convert to di...
"There it is boys!" Captain Eagle shouted while pointing to a ship rising up from the horizon. This was it. We had been chasing a notorious pirate for about 3 weeks now and finally caught up to him. "ROW!" The ship quickly surged forward from the strength of the oarmen below deck as the knights assembled by the railin...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
"It's from the Narnia books!" I told them, "The character in the... you know, not the one with the wardrobe, but the one after that." But they didn't listen. Apparently, they decided that I must be some sort of math teacher from the Caspian Sea region. Do you know what countries border the Caspian Sea? I didn't, but ...
"There it is boys!" Captain Eagle shouted while pointing to a ship rising up from the horizon. This was it. We had been chasing a notorious pirate for about 3 weeks now and finally caught up to him. "ROW!" The ship quickly surged forward from the strength of the oarmen below deck as the knights assembled by the railin...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Why did I continue as a lawyer? I used to have a life. Yet, here I am. I'm still at work. *This of course can be applied to many professions.
"There it is boys!" Captain Eagle shouted while pointing to a ship rising up from the horizon. This was it. We had been chasing a notorious pirate for about 3 weeks now and finally caught up to him. "ROW!" The ship quickly surged forward from the strength of the oarmen below deck as the knights assembled by the railin...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I've been waiting for this day my whole life. Ever since Seattle was destroyed by a giant monster, more and more appeared around the globe. They were a constant threat, like a hurricane or an earthquake. Unpredictable and unstoppable. One day that all changed. A new breed of humans began to emerge throughout the worl...
"There it is boys!" Captain Eagle shouted while pointing to a ship rising up from the horizon. This was it. We had been chasing a notorious pirate for about 3 weeks now and finally caught up to him. "ROW!" The ship quickly surged forward from the strength of the oarmen below deck as the knights assembled by the railin...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Business is booming in Compton. I scope out the local alleyway for stray dogs.. Immediately smell a reeking odor behind the trashcan. Walk over to the scene with a slight limp. See a straggly young female Beagle with potential. Offer her some crack. The bitch wasn't a crack addict. Though she could be a crack w...
"There it is boys!" Captain Eagle shouted while pointing to a ship rising up from the horizon. This was it. We had been chasing a notorious pirate for about 3 weeks now and finally caught up to him. "ROW!" The ship quickly surged forward from the strength of the oarmen below deck as the knights assembled by the railin...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
*Code Orange. Code Orange. We need Doctor Bees in the operating room* "Over 300 casualties and a few injured. What happened out there?!" "Doctor, the comb was attacked by a hairy monstrosity. He tore the place apart and it took most of the workers to fend him off" "Do we have any survivors?" "Very few, we have ...
"There it is boys!" Captain Eagle shouted while pointing to a ship rising up from the horizon. This was it. We had been chasing a notorious pirate for about 3 weeks now and finally caught up to him. "ROW!" The ship quickly surged forward from the strength of the oarmen below deck as the knights assembled by the railin...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
When I first entered the building that was now to give me money for doing what I had always been doing I got a slight annoyance from the squeaky doors. I proceeded to walk over the large hall to the woman obviously responsible for squeaky doors; the receptionist. I told her that if that door squeaked when I went throug...
"There it is boys!" Captain Eagle shouted while pointing to a ship rising up from the horizon. This was it. We had been chasing a notorious pirate for about 3 weeks now and finally caught up to him. "ROW!" The ship quickly surged forward from the strength of the oarmen below deck as the knights assembled by the railin...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
*Ends hibernation* *walks into office* Officer worker 1: HOLY SHIT ANOTHER BEAR!!! Officer worker 2: Don't worry, I decided I needed to bring a gun to work. It's so weird that 89 other bears have just walked into our office. **bang bang** *feels pain, eyes get heavy* Officer worker 2: WOO! I got number 90!
"There it is boys!" Captain Eagle shouted while pointing to a ship rising up from the horizon. This was it. We had been chasing a notorious pirate for about 3 weeks now and finally caught up to him. "ROW!" The ship quickly surged forward from the strength of the oarmen below deck as the knights assembled by the railin...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I ordered a shot of whiskey, A slippery nipple and then I downed six bottles of bud light And two whiskey sours and gin. My head is swimming round and round. My heart is all aflame. I wonder if my ex is awake I think I'll call him again. Oh Fuck yeah this is my tune. Get up! Let's dance and shout! This is my j...
"There it is boys!" Captain Eagle shouted while pointing to a ship rising up from the horizon. This was it. We had been chasing a notorious pirate for about 3 weeks now and finally caught up to him. "ROW!" The ship quickly surged forward from the strength of the oarmen below deck as the knights assembled by the railin...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
"Sancho! Onward to the lair of the despicable dragon!" "*Jefe, that's a windmill!*" "Nonsense! We shall skewer it's heart and make La Mancha safe once more!" **Sancho Panza**, always one for a humorous sight, let his sire **Don Quixote, Knight of the Woeful Countenance**, ride off to do battle with the town windmill...
"There it is boys!" Captain Eagle shouted while pointing to a ship rising up from the horizon. This was it. We had been chasing a notorious pirate for about 3 weeks now and finally caught up to him. "ROW!" The ship quickly surged forward from the strength of the oarmen below deck as the knights assembled by the railin...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
New suit, old tie, there's a stain in the middle, and a tear in my eye. I sigh. The streets are the same, the cars they drift, the leaves they fall, from the blue sky I sigh. I walk and walk, sip and sip, the rye begins to run dry I sigh. The students they sleep, careless, naive, am I really the bad guy? I sigh. ...
"There it is boys!" Captain Eagle shouted while pointing to a ship rising up from the horizon. This was it. We had been chasing a notorious pirate for about 3 weeks now and finally caught up to him. "ROW!" The ship quickly surged forward from the strength of the oarmen below deck as the knights assembled by the railin...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
You know, it sucks being me. Years ago, my father built this place, RIOTS R US, from the ground up. And, right when this asshole /u/PitchforkEmporium shows up, my father dies. In simple terms, my job is gone on Day 1.
It's been 3 months. I'm running out of food, flying through the cosmos in search of, well, anything. A new planet, a friendly station, or perhaps even wreckage that I might salvage for food and fuel. The isolation has caused a slow decent to madness, I often find myself talking to inanimate objects aboard the ship. Lon...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Eating my bowl of Wagon-O's, I glance into the blue hues of my old analog TV, playing a rerun of *All My Children* that I had seen a thousand times. One of the perks of being a superhero for the State was having my very own satellite beaming any station I wanted to my old TV while my peers were forced to convert to di...
It's been 3 months. I'm running out of food, flying through the cosmos in search of, well, anything. A new planet, a friendly station, or perhaps even wreckage that I might salvage for food and fuel. The isolation has caused a slow decent to madness, I often find myself talking to inanimate objects aboard the ship. Lon...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Why did I continue as a lawyer? I used to have a life. Yet, here I am. I'm still at work. *This of course can be applied to many professions.
It's been 3 months. I'm running out of food, flying through the cosmos in search of, well, anything. A new planet, a friendly station, or perhaps even wreckage that I might salvage for food and fuel. The isolation has caused a slow decent to madness, I often find myself talking to inanimate objects aboard the ship. Lon...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I've been waiting for this day my whole life. Ever since Seattle was destroyed by a giant monster, more and more appeared around the globe. They were a constant threat, like a hurricane or an earthquake. Unpredictable and unstoppable. One day that all changed. A new breed of humans began to emerge throughout the worl...
It's been 3 months. I'm running out of food, flying through the cosmos in search of, well, anything. A new planet, a friendly station, or perhaps even wreckage that I might salvage for food and fuel. The isolation has caused a slow decent to madness, I often find myself talking to inanimate objects aboard the ship. Lon...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Business is booming in Compton. I scope out the local alleyway for stray dogs.. Immediately smell a reeking odor behind the trashcan. Walk over to the scene with a slight limp. See a straggly young female Beagle with potential. Offer her some crack. The bitch wasn't a crack addict. Though she could be a crack w...
It's been 3 months. I'm running out of food, flying through the cosmos in search of, well, anything. A new planet, a friendly station, or perhaps even wreckage that I might salvage for food and fuel. The isolation has caused a slow decent to madness, I often find myself talking to inanimate objects aboard the ship. Lon...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
*Code Orange. Code Orange. We need Doctor Bees in the operating room* "Over 300 casualties and a few injured. What happened out there?!" "Doctor, the comb was attacked by a hairy monstrosity. He tore the place apart and it took most of the workers to fend him off" "Do we have any survivors?" "Very few, we have ...
It's been 3 months. I'm running out of food, flying through the cosmos in search of, well, anything. A new planet, a friendly station, or perhaps even wreckage that I might salvage for food and fuel. The isolation has caused a slow decent to madness, I often find myself talking to inanimate objects aboard the ship. Lon...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
When I first entered the building that was now to give me money for doing what I had always been doing I got a slight annoyance from the squeaky doors. I proceeded to walk over the large hall to the woman obviously responsible for squeaky doors; the receptionist. I told her that if that door squeaked when I went throug...
It's been 3 months. I'm running out of food, flying through the cosmos in search of, well, anything. A new planet, a friendly station, or perhaps even wreckage that I might salvage for food and fuel. The isolation has caused a slow decent to madness, I often find myself talking to inanimate objects aboard the ship. Lon...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
*Ends hibernation* *walks into office* Officer worker 1: HOLY SHIT ANOTHER BEAR!!! Officer worker 2: Don't worry, I decided I needed to bring a gun to work. It's so weird that 89 other bears have just walked into our office. **bang bang** *feels pain, eyes get heavy* Officer worker 2: WOO! I got number 90!
It's been 3 months. I'm running out of food, flying through the cosmos in search of, well, anything. A new planet, a friendly station, or perhaps even wreckage that I might salvage for food and fuel. The isolation has caused a slow decent to madness, I often find myself talking to inanimate objects aboard the ship. Lon...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I ordered a shot of whiskey, A slippery nipple and then I downed six bottles of bud light And two whiskey sours and gin. My head is swimming round and round. My heart is all aflame. I wonder if my ex is awake I think I'll call him again. Oh Fuck yeah this is my tune. Get up! Let's dance and shout! This is my j...
It's been 3 months. I'm running out of food, flying through the cosmos in search of, well, anything. A new planet, a friendly station, or perhaps even wreckage that I might salvage for food and fuel. The isolation has caused a slow decent to madness, I often find myself talking to inanimate objects aboard the ship. Lon...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Why did I continue as a lawyer? I used to have a life. Yet, here I am. I'm still at work. *This of course can be applied to many professions.
"It's from the Narnia books!" I told them, "The character in the... you know, not the one with the wardrobe, but the one after that." But they didn't listen. Apparently, they decided that I must be some sort of math teacher from the Caspian Sea region. Do you know what countries border the Caspian Sea? I didn't, but ...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I've been waiting for this day my whole life. Ever since Seattle was destroyed by a giant monster, more and more appeared around the globe. They were a constant threat, like a hurricane or an earthquake. Unpredictable and unstoppable. One day that all changed. A new breed of humans began to emerge throughout the worl...
"It's from the Narnia books!" I told them, "The character in the... you know, not the one with the wardrobe, but the one after that." But they didn't listen. Apparently, they decided that I must be some sort of math teacher from the Caspian Sea region. Do you know what countries border the Caspian Sea? I didn't, but ...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Business is booming in Compton. I scope out the local alleyway for stray dogs.. Immediately smell a reeking odor behind the trashcan. Walk over to the scene with a slight limp. See a straggly young female Beagle with potential. Offer her some crack. The bitch wasn't a crack addict. Though she could be a crack w...
"It's from the Narnia books!" I told them, "The character in the... you know, not the one with the wardrobe, but the one after that." But they didn't listen. Apparently, they decided that I must be some sort of math teacher from the Caspian Sea region. Do you know what countries border the Caspian Sea? I didn't, but ...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
*Code Orange. Code Orange. We need Doctor Bees in the operating room* "Over 300 casualties and a few injured. What happened out there?!" "Doctor, the comb was attacked by a hairy monstrosity. He tore the place apart and it took most of the workers to fend him off" "Do we have any survivors?" "Very few, we have ...
"It's from the Narnia books!" I told them, "The character in the... you know, not the one with the wardrobe, but the one after that." But they didn't listen. Apparently, they decided that I must be some sort of math teacher from the Caspian Sea region. Do you know what countries border the Caspian Sea? I didn't, but ...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
When I first entered the building that was now to give me money for doing what I had always been doing I got a slight annoyance from the squeaky doors. I proceeded to walk over the large hall to the woman obviously responsible for squeaky doors; the receptionist. I told her that if that door squeaked when I went throug...
"It's from the Narnia books!" I told them, "The character in the... you know, not the one with the wardrobe, but the one after that." But they didn't listen. Apparently, they decided that I must be some sort of math teacher from the Caspian Sea region. Do you know what countries border the Caspian Sea? I didn't, but ...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
*Ends hibernation* *walks into office* Officer worker 1: HOLY SHIT ANOTHER BEAR!!! Officer worker 2: Don't worry, I decided I needed to bring a gun to work. It's so weird that 89 other bears have just walked into our office. **bang bang** *feels pain, eyes get heavy* Officer worker 2: WOO! I got number 90!
"It's from the Narnia books!" I told them, "The character in the... you know, not the one with the wardrobe, but the one after that." But they didn't listen. Apparently, they decided that I must be some sort of math teacher from the Caspian Sea region. Do you know what countries border the Caspian Sea? I didn't, but ...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I ordered a shot of whiskey, A slippery nipple and then I downed six bottles of bud light And two whiskey sours and gin. My head is swimming round and round. My heart is all aflame. I wonder if my ex is awake I think I'll call him again. Oh Fuck yeah this is my tune. Get up! Let's dance and shout! This is my j...
"It's from the Narnia books!" I told them, "The character in the... you know, not the one with the wardrobe, but the one after that." But they didn't listen. Apparently, they decided that I must be some sort of math teacher from the Caspian Sea region. Do you know what countries border the Caspian Sea? I didn't, but ...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Why did I continue as a lawyer? I used to have a life. Yet, here I am. I'm still at work. *This of course can be applied to many professions.
We met in the room of a thousand fountains all 140 of us. We looked around for the original sure enough he was here. "Alright gentleman I have gathered you here today to adress the growing unrest across the galaxy at this time. Now I can't do it alone but with all of you I can, but we have to work together. Sound fair?...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I've been waiting for this day my whole life. Ever since Seattle was destroyed by a giant monster, more and more appeared around the globe. They were a constant threat, like a hurricane or an earthquake. Unpredictable and unstoppable. One day that all changed. A new breed of humans began to emerge throughout the worl...
We met in the room of a thousand fountains all 140 of us. We looked around for the original sure enough he was here. "Alright gentleman I have gathered you here today to adress the growing unrest across the galaxy at this time. Now I can't do it alone but with all of you I can, but we have to work together. Sound fair?...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I'm all moved in. The office is fully furnished, degrees and certifications well hung on the wall. It's been more than a week now though and I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't a little concerned. No one has shown up and the phone is silent - apart from the occasional, wildly inappropriate prank call. I guess some p...
We met in the room of a thousand fountains all 140 of us. We looked around for the original sure enough he was here. "Alright gentleman I have gathered you here today to adress the growing unrest across the galaxy at this time. Now I can't do it alone but with all of you I can, but we have to work together. Sound fair?...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Business is booming in Compton. I scope out the local alleyway for stray dogs.. Immediately smell a reeking odor behind the trashcan. Walk over to the scene with a slight limp. See a straggly young female Beagle with potential. Offer her some crack. The bitch wasn't a crack addict. Though she could be a crack w...
We met in the room of a thousand fountains all 140 of us. We looked around for the original sure enough he was here. "Alright gentleman I have gathered you here today to adress the growing unrest across the galaxy at this time. Now I can't do it alone but with all of you I can, but we have to work together. Sound fair?...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
*Code Orange. Code Orange. We need Doctor Bees in the operating room* "Over 300 casualties and a few injured. What happened out there?!" "Doctor, the comb was attacked by a hairy monstrosity. He tore the place apart and it took most of the workers to fend him off" "Do we have any survivors?" "Very few, we have ...
We met in the room of a thousand fountains all 140 of us. We looked around for the original sure enough he was here. "Alright gentleman I have gathered you here today to adress the growing unrest across the galaxy at this time. Now I can't do it alone but with all of you I can, but we have to work together. Sound fair?...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
When I first entered the building that was now to give me money for doing what I had always been doing I got a slight annoyance from the squeaky doors. I proceeded to walk over the large hall to the woman obviously responsible for squeaky doors; the receptionist. I told her that if that door squeaked when I went throug...
We met in the room of a thousand fountains all 140 of us. We looked around for the original sure enough he was here. "Alright gentleman I have gathered you here today to adress the growing unrest across the galaxy at this time. Now I can't do it alone but with all of you I can, but we have to work together. Sound fair?...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
*Ends hibernation* *walks into office* Officer worker 1: HOLY SHIT ANOTHER BEAR!!! Officer worker 2: Don't worry, I decided I needed to bring a gun to work. It's so weird that 89 other bears have just walked into our office. **bang bang** *feels pain, eyes get heavy* Officer worker 2: WOO! I got number 90!
We met in the room of a thousand fountains all 140 of us. We looked around for the original sure enough he was here. "Alright gentleman I have gathered you here today to adress the growing unrest across the galaxy at this time. Now I can't do it alone but with all of you I can, but we have to work together. Sound fair?...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I ordered a shot of whiskey, A slippery nipple and then I downed six bottles of bud light And two whiskey sours and gin. My head is swimming round and round. My heart is all aflame. I wonder if my ex is awake I think I'll call him again. Oh Fuck yeah this is my tune. Get up! Let's dance and shout! This is my j...
We met in the room of a thousand fountains all 140 of us. We looked around for the original sure enough he was here. "Alright gentleman I have gathered you here today to adress the growing unrest across the galaxy at this time. Now I can't do it alone but with all of you I can, but we have to work together. Sound fair?...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
"Sancho! Onward to the lair of the despicable dragon!" "*Jefe, that's a windmill!*" "Nonsense! We shall skewer it's heart and make La Mancha safe once more!" **Sancho Panza**, always one for a humorous sight, let his sire **Don Quixote, Knight of the Woeful Countenance**, ride off to do battle with the town windmill...
We met in the room of a thousand fountains all 140 of us. We looked around for the original sure enough he was here. "Alright gentleman I have gathered you here today to adress the growing unrest across the galaxy at this time. Now I can't do it alone but with all of you I can, but we have to work together. Sound fair?...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
"For the hundredth time, my name is not supposed to be a sly reference to my genitalia!" "Look, kid, no one's gonna believe you. Fact of the matter is, you're either goddamn brilliant or denser than a neutron star for choosing that handle, and it doesn't matter. You have it, and your job from now on is writing euphemi...
We met in the room of a thousand fountains all 140 of us. We looked around for the original sure enough he was here. "Alright gentleman I have gathered you here today to adress the growing unrest across the galaxy at this time. Now I can't do it alone but with all of you I can, but we have to work together. Sound fair?...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I am the source. The source of everything good, bad, holy, evil, light, dark. I am the good, the bad, and the ugly. I am the punk and I am the .44 Magnum and I am feeling lucky. I am not for a few dollars more because I am all dollars. I am the beauty and the beast. I am the genie and I am the wishes. I am th...
We met in the room of a thousand fountains all 140 of us. We looked around for the original sure enough he was here. "Alright gentleman I have gathered you here today to adress the growing unrest across the galaxy at this time. Now I can't do it alone but with all of you I can, but we have to work together. Sound fair?...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
New suit, old tie, there's a stain in the middle, and a tear in my eye. I sigh. The streets are the same, the cars they drift, the leaves they fall, from the blue sky I sigh. I walk and walk, sip and sip, the rye begins to run dry I sigh. The students they sleep, careless, naive, am I really the bad guy? I sigh. ...
We met in the room of a thousand fountains all 140 of us. We looked around for the original sure enough he was here. "Alright gentleman I have gathered you here today to adress the growing unrest across the galaxy at this time. Now I can't do it alone but with all of you I can, but we have to work together. Sound fair?...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Eye tip me tophat. I wok in 2 de ofis bilding. Gud dae maet. Me maets n me eet crumpits n sip tee cos we gents. Luk o de dae to ye maet. Gohd saev de Kween n all de jaz. Now eye wok hoem. Luvlee niet n all. Gud niet. Mae B reed gud niet buk? Noe, eye cant reed.
We met in the room of a thousand fountains all 140 of us. We looked around for the original sure enough he was here. "Alright gentleman I have gathered you here today to adress the growing unrest across the galaxy at this time. Now I can't do it alone but with all of you I can, but we have to work together. Sound fair?...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
It was the first day of school. I was so excited. New students every year. I had such high hopes. The kids would love me. They would sit, be comfortable, and learn. The first day came and went. Class after class. I was ignored. No one wants the chair in front. I wish I was a concert seat.
We met in the room of a thousand fountains all 140 of us. We looked around for the original sure enough he was here. "Alright gentleman I have gathered you here today to adress the growing unrest across the galaxy at this time. Now I can't do it alone but with all of you I can, but we have to work together. Sound fair?...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Business is booming in Compton. I scope out the local alleyway for stray dogs.. Immediately smell a reeking odor behind the trashcan. Walk over to the scene with a slight limp. See a straggly young female Beagle with potential. Offer her some crack. The bitch wasn't a crack addict. Though she could be a crack w...
Why did I continue as a lawyer? I used to have a life. Yet, here I am. I'm still at work. *This of course can be applied to many professions.
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
*Code Orange. Code Orange. We need Doctor Bees in the operating room* "Over 300 casualties and a few injured. What happened out there?!" "Doctor, the comb was attacked by a hairy monstrosity. He tore the place apart and it took most of the workers to fend him off" "Do we have any survivors?" "Very few, we have ...
Why did I continue as a lawyer? I used to have a life. Yet, here I am. I'm still at work. *This of course can be applied to many professions.
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
*Ends hibernation* *walks into office* Officer worker 1: HOLY SHIT ANOTHER BEAR!!! Officer worker 2: Don't worry, I decided I needed to bring a gun to work. It's so weird that 89 other bears have just walked into our office. **bang bang** *feels pain, eyes get heavy* Officer worker 2: WOO! I got number 90!
Why did I continue as a lawyer? I used to have a life. Yet, here I am. I'm still at work. *This of course can be applied to many professions.
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I ordered a shot of whiskey, A slippery nipple and then I downed six bottles of bud light And two whiskey sours and gin. My head is swimming round and round. My heart is all aflame. I wonder if my ex is awake I think I'll call him again. Oh Fuck yeah this is my tune. Get up! Let's dance and shout! This is my j...
Why did I continue as a lawyer? I used to have a life. Yet, here I am. I'm still at work. *This of course can be applied to many professions.
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Business is booming in Compton. I scope out the local alleyway for stray dogs.. Immediately smell a reeking odor behind the trashcan. Walk over to the scene with a slight limp. See a straggly young female Beagle with potential. Offer her some crack. The bitch wasn't a crack addict. Though she could be a crack w...
I've been waiting for this day my whole life. Ever since Seattle was destroyed by a giant monster, more and more appeared around the globe. They were a constant threat, like a hurricane or an earthquake. Unpredictable and unstoppable. One day that all changed. A new breed of humans began to emerge throughout the worl...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Business is booming in Compton. I scope out the local alleyway for stray dogs.. Immediately smell a reeking odor behind the trashcan. Walk over to the scene with a slight limp. See a straggly young female Beagle with potential. Offer her some crack. The bitch wasn't a crack addict. Though she could be a crack w...
I'm all moved in. The office is fully furnished, degrees and certifications well hung on the wall. It's been more than a week now though and I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't a little concerned. No one has shown up and the phone is silent - apart from the occasional, wildly inappropriate prank call. I guess some p...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
*Code Orange. Code Orange. We need Doctor Bees in the operating room* "Over 300 casualties and a few injured. What happened out there?!" "Doctor, the comb was attacked by a hairy monstrosity. He tore the place apart and it took most of the workers to fend him off" "Do we have any survivors?" "Very few, we have ...
I'm all moved in. The office is fully furnished, degrees and certifications well hung on the wall. It's been more than a week now though and I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't a little concerned. No one has shown up and the phone is silent - apart from the occasional, wildly inappropriate prank call. I guess some p...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
When I first entered the building that was now to give me money for doing what I had always been doing I got a slight annoyance from the squeaky doors. I proceeded to walk over the large hall to the woman obviously responsible for squeaky doors; the receptionist. I told her that if that door squeaked when I went throug...
I'm all moved in. The office is fully furnished, degrees and certifications well hung on the wall. It's been more than a week now though and I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't a little concerned. No one has shown up and the phone is silent - apart from the occasional, wildly inappropriate prank call. I guess some p...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
*Ends hibernation* *walks into office* Officer worker 1: HOLY SHIT ANOTHER BEAR!!! Officer worker 2: Don't worry, I decided I needed to bring a gun to work. It's so weird that 89 other bears have just walked into our office. **bang bang** *feels pain, eyes get heavy* Officer worker 2: WOO! I got number 90!
I'm all moved in. The office is fully furnished, degrees and certifications well hung on the wall. It's been more than a week now though and I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't a little concerned. No one has shown up and the phone is silent - apart from the occasional, wildly inappropriate prank call. I guess some p...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I ordered a shot of whiskey, A slippery nipple and then I downed six bottles of bud light And two whiskey sours and gin. My head is swimming round and round. My heart is all aflame. I wonder if my ex is awake I think I'll call him again. Oh Fuck yeah this is my tune. Get up! Let's dance and shout! This is my j...
I'm all moved in. The office is fully furnished, degrees and certifications well hung on the wall. It's been more than a week now though and I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't a little concerned. No one has shown up and the phone is silent - apart from the occasional, wildly inappropriate prank call. I guess some p...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
"Sancho! Onward to the lair of the despicable dragon!" "*Jefe, that's a windmill!*" "Nonsense! We shall skewer it's heart and make La Mancha safe once more!" **Sancho Panza**, always one for a humorous sight, let his sire **Don Quixote, Knight of the Woeful Countenance**, ride off to do battle with the town windmill...
I'm all moved in. The office is fully furnished, degrees and certifications well hung on the wall. It's been more than a week now though and I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't a little concerned. No one has shown up and the phone is silent - apart from the occasional, wildly inappropriate prank call. I guess some p...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
"For the hundredth time, my name is not supposed to be a sly reference to my genitalia!" "Look, kid, no one's gonna believe you. Fact of the matter is, you're either goddamn brilliant or denser than a neutron star for choosing that handle, and it doesn't matter. You have it, and your job from now on is writing euphemi...
I'm all moved in. The office is fully furnished, degrees and certifications well hung on the wall. It's been more than a week now though and I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't a little concerned. No one has shown up and the phone is silent - apart from the occasional, wildly inappropriate prank call. I guess some p...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I am the source. The source of everything good, bad, holy, evil, light, dark. I am the good, the bad, and the ugly. I am the punk and I am the .44 Magnum and I am feeling lucky. I am not for a few dollars more because I am all dollars. I am the beauty and the beast. I am the genie and I am the wishes. I am th...
I'm all moved in. The office is fully furnished, degrees and certifications well hung on the wall. It's been more than a week now though and I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't a little concerned. No one has shown up and the phone is silent - apart from the occasional, wildly inappropriate prank call. I guess some p...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
New suit, old tie, there's a stain in the middle, and a tear in my eye. I sigh. The streets are the same, the cars they drift, the leaves they fall, from the blue sky I sigh. I walk and walk, sip and sip, the rye begins to run dry I sigh. The students they sleep, careless, naive, am I really the bad guy? I sigh. ...
I'm all moved in. The office is fully furnished, degrees and certifications well hung on the wall. It's been more than a week now though and I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't a little concerned. No one has shown up and the phone is silent - apart from the occasional, wildly inappropriate prank call. I guess some p...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Eye tip me tophat. I wok in 2 de ofis bilding. Gud dae maet. Me maets n me eet crumpits n sip tee cos we gents. Luk o de dae to ye maet. Gohd saev de Kween n all de jaz. Now eye wok hoem. Luvlee niet n all. Gud niet. Mae B reed gud niet buk? Noe, eye cant reed.
I'm all moved in. The office is fully furnished, degrees and certifications well hung on the wall. It's been more than a week now though and I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't a little concerned. No one has shown up and the phone is silent - apart from the occasional, wildly inappropriate prank call. I guess some p...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
It was the first day of school. I was so excited. New students every year. I had such high hopes. The kids would love me. They would sit, be comfortable, and learn. The first day came and went. Class after class. I was ignored. No one wants the chair in front. I wish I was a concert seat.
I'm all moved in. The office is fully furnished, degrees and certifications well hung on the wall. It's been more than a week now though and I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't a little concerned. No one has shown up and the phone is silent - apart from the occasional, wildly inappropriate prank call. I guess some p...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I ordered a shot of whiskey, A slippery nipple and then I downed six bottles of bud light And two whiskey sours and gin. My head is swimming round and round. My heart is all aflame. I wonder if my ex is awake I think I'll call him again. Oh Fuck yeah this is my tune. Get up! Let's dance and shout! This is my j...
*Code Orange. Code Orange. We need Doctor Bees in the operating room* "Over 300 casualties and a few injured. What happened out there?!" "Doctor, the comb was attacked by a hairy monstrosity. He tore the place apart and it took most of the workers to fend him off" "Do we have any survivors?" "Very few, we have ...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
*Ends hibernation* *walks into office* Officer worker 1: HOLY SHIT ANOTHER BEAR!!! Officer worker 2: Don't worry, I decided I needed to bring a gun to work. It's so weird that 89 other bears have just walked into our office. **bang bang** *feels pain, eyes get heavy* Officer worker 2: WOO! I got number 90!
When I first entered the building that was now to give me money for doing what I had always been doing I got a slight annoyance from the squeaky doors. I proceeded to walk over the large hall to the woman obviously responsible for squeaky doors; the receptionist. I told her that if that door squeaked when I went throug...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I ordered a shot of whiskey, A slippery nipple and then I downed six bottles of bud light And two whiskey sours and gin. My head is swimming round and round. My heart is all aflame. I wonder if my ex is awake I think I'll call him again. Oh Fuck yeah this is my tune. Get up! Let's dance and shout! This is my j...
When I first entered the building that was now to give me money for doing what I had always been doing I got a slight annoyance from the squeaky doors. I proceeded to walk over the large hall to the woman obviously responsible for squeaky doors; the receptionist. I told her that if that door squeaked when I went throug...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I ordered a shot of whiskey, A slippery nipple and then I downed six bottles of bud light And two whiskey sours and gin. My head is swimming round and round. My heart is all aflame. I wonder if my ex is awake I think I'll call him again. Oh Fuck yeah this is my tune. Get up! Let's dance and shout! This is my j...
*Ends hibernation* *walks into office* Officer worker 1: HOLY SHIT ANOTHER BEAR!!! Officer worker 2: Don't worry, I decided I needed to bring a gun to work. It's so weird that 89 other bears have just walked into our office. **bang bang** *feels pain, eyes get heavy* Officer worker 2: WOO! I got number 90!
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
New suit, old tie, there's a stain in the middle, and a tear in my eye. I sigh. The streets are the same, the cars they drift, the leaves they fall, from the blue sky I sigh. I walk and walk, sip and sip, the rye begins to run dry I sigh. The students they sleep, careless, naive, am I really the bad guy? I sigh. ...
"Sancho! Onward to the lair of the despicable dragon!" "*Jefe, that's a windmill!*" "Nonsense! We shall skewer it's heart and make La Mancha safe once more!" **Sancho Panza**, always one for a humorous sight, let his sire **Don Quixote, Knight of the Woeful Countenance**, ride off to do battle with the town windmill...
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
"For the hundredth time, my name is not supposed to be a sly reference to my genitalia!" "Look, kid, no one's gonna believe you. Fact of the matter is, you're either goddamn brilliant or denser than a neutron star for choosing that handle, and it doesn't matter. You have it, and your job from now on is writing euphemi...
I stepped off my broomstick at 0730 just as the Ministry of Magic was beginning to whir into life after a fairly uneventful weekend. I made my way to the elevator and pressed the B6 button. As the elevator descended, I wondered what Supreme Chancellor Umbridge would have me doing *this* week to that Potter boy.
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
I am the source. The source of everything good, bad, holy, evil, light, dark. I am the good, the bad, and the ugly. I am the punk and I am the .44 Magnum and I am feeling lucky. I am not for a few dollars more because I am all dollars. I am the beauty and the beast. I am the genie and I am the wishes. I am th...
I stepped off my broomstick at 0730 just as the Ministry of Magic was beginning to whir into life after a fairly uneventful weekend. I made my way to the elevator and pressed the B6 button. As the elevator descended, I wondered what Supreme Chancellor Umbridge would have me doing *this* week to that Potter boy.
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
New suit, old tie, there's a stain in the middle, and a tear in my eye. I sigh. The streets are the same, the cars they drift, the leaves they fall, from the blue sky I sigh. I walk and walk, sip and sip, the rye begins to run dry I sigh. The students they sleep, careless, naive, am I really the bad guy? I sigh. ...
I stepped off my broomstick at 0730 just as the Ministry of Magic was beginning to whir into life after a fairly uneventful weekend. I made my way to the elevator and pressed the B6 button. As the elevator descended, I wondered what Supreme Chancellor Umbridge would have me doing *this* week to that Potter boy.
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation. --- I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo! You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. --- Dear God RIP my inbox
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
Eye tip me tophat. I wok in 2 de ofis bilding. Gud dae maet. Me maets n me eet crumpits n sip tee cos we gents. Luk o de dae to ye maet. Gohd saev de Kween n all de jaz. Now eye wok hoem. Luvlee niet n all. Gud niet. Mae B reed gud niet buk? Noe, eye cant reed.
I stepped off my broomstick at 0730 just as the Ministry of Magic was beginning to whir into life after a fairly uneventful weekend. I made my way to the elevator and pressed the B6 button. As the elevator descended, I wondered what Supreme Chancellor Umbridge would have me doing *this* week to that Potter boy.