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If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | It was the first day of school.
I was so excited.
New students every year.
I had such high hopes.
The kids would love me.
They would sit, be comfortable, and learn.
The first day came and went.
Class after class.
I was ignored.
No one wants the chair in front.
I wish I was a concert seat. | I stepped off my broomstick at 0730 just as the Ministry of Magic was beginning to whir into life after a fairly uneventful weekend. I made my way to the elevator and pressed the B6 button. As the elevator descended, I wondered what Supreme Chancellor Umbridge would have me doing *this* week to that Potter boy. |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | I am the source.
The source of everything good, bad, holy, evil, light, dark.
I am the good, the bad, and the ugly. I am the punk and I
am the .44 Magnum and I am feeling lucky. I am not for a few dollars more because I am all dollars.
I am the beauty and the beast. I am the genie and I am the wishes.
I am th... | "For the hundredth time, my name is not supposed to be a sly reference to my genitalia!"
"Look, kid, no one's gonna believe you. Fact of the matter is, you're either goddamn brilliant or denser than a neutron star for choosing that handle, and it doesn't matter. You have it, and your job from now on is writing euphemi... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | New suit, old tie, there's a stain in the middle, and a tear in my eye.
I sigh.
The streets are the same, the cars they drift, the leaves they fall, from the blue sky
I sigh.
I walk and walk, sip and sip, the rye begins to run dry
I sigh.
The students they sleep, careless, naive, am I really the bad guy?
I sigh.
... | "For the hundredth time, my name is not supposed to be a sly reference to my genitalia!"
"Look, kid, no one's gonna believe you. Fact of the matter is, you're either goddamn brilliant or denser than a neutron star for choosing that handle, and it doesn't matter. You have it, and your job from now on is writing euphemi... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Eye tip me tophat. I wok in 2 de ofis bilding.
Gud dae maet. Me maets n me eet crumpits n sip tee cos we gents.
Luk o de dae to ye maet. Gohd saev de Kween n all de jaz.
Now eye wok hoem. Luvlee niet n all. Gud niet.
Mae B reed gud niet buk? Noe, eye cant reed. | "For the hundredth time, my name is not supposed to be a sly reference to my genitalia!"
"Look, kid, no one's gonna believe you. Fact of the matter is, you're either goddamn brilliant or denser than a neutron star for choosing that handle, and it doesn't matter. You have it, and your job from now on is writing euphemi... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | It was the first day of school.
I was so excited.
New students every year.
I had such high hopes.
The kids would love me.
They would sit, be comfortable, and learn.
The first day came and went.
Class after class.
I was ignored.
No one wants the chair in front.
I wish I was a concert seat. | "For the hundredth time, my name is not supposed to be a sly reference to my genitalia!"
"Look, kid, no one's gonna believe you. Fact of the matter is, you're either goddamn brilliant or denser than a neutron star for choosing that handle, and it doesn't matter. You have it, and your job from now on is writing euphemi... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | New suit, old tie, there's a stain in the middle, and a tear in my eye.
I sigh.
The streets are the same, the cars they drift, the leaves they fall, from the blue sky
I sigh.
I walk and walk, sip and sip, the rye begins to run dry
I sigh.
The students they sleep, careless, naive, am I really the bad guy?
I sigh.
... | I am the source.
The source of everything good, bad, holy, evil, light, dark.
I am the good, the bad, and the ugly. I am the punk and I
am the .44 Magnum and I am feeling lucky. I am not for a few dollars more because I am all dollars.
I am the beauty and the beast. I am the genie and I am the wishes.
I am th... |
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | [WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work? | Eye tip me tophat. I wok in 2 de ofis bilding.
Gud dae maet. Me maets n me eet crumpits n sip tee cos we gents.
Luk o de dae to ye maet. Gohd saev de Kween n all de jaz.
Now eye wok hoem. Luvlee niet n all. Gud niet.
Mae B reed gud niet buk? Noe, eye cant reed. | I am the source.
The source of everything good, bad, holy, evil, light, dark.
I am the good, the bad, and the ugly. I am the punk and I
am the .44 Magnum and I am feeling lucky. I am not for a few dollars more because I am all dollars.
I am the beauty and the beast. I am the genie and I am the wishes.
I am th... |
Twist the prompt as needed, get creative! :) | [WP] A Student becomes close to his crush at school, unbeknownst to him, his crush is a serial killer. | Noemie's eyes pan the room as the teacher introduces her to the class. Her heart thuds audibly as a seaful of curious faces take her in, the new exchange student.
Her eyebrows furrow as she watches some of the girls whisper and giggle in hushed tones, their eyes flicking up every so often followed by more giggling. Sh... | The look in her eyes was the same as when we first met. Megan Lane was the most beautiful girl that I had ever seen. Shuffling onto the bus during my first day of high school I was scared. My eyes scanned the available seats until they happened upon a pair of eager eyes. A pair of eager eyes that somehow made the butte... |
[WP] Your new therapist is Shia Lebouf | My eyes were fixated on the LaBeouf plaque positioned on the wooden door. I clenched my hand into a fist as I raised my right arm up. I paused for a moment.
"Damnit, this isn't going to work." I muttered to myself as my arm floated back to my side. I hung my head in shame and swiveled my body. My feet pivoted in prepa... | I exhaled, pacing the breath, trying to slow my heartbeat and still my muscles. I was tense, I was shaking, I was about to say it for the first time, and that made it real.
"I want to kill myself. I...feel like I want to die."
The reply was almost immediate.
"That's great!"
Not what I was expecting.
The strange ma... | |
Random thought I had when passing my University's lab for AI development.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turing_test | [WP] Finally, one AI finally passes the Turing test. Only problem is that it's not all that smart. | "Are you a human?"
"Er... I think so? Probably. Depends if I've had my morning cup o' Dunkin'."
"Cat or dog?"
"I'm allergic to cats. But dogs just try to hump me. Can I get a hamster instead?"
"Who are you voting for this year?"
"I'm digging Trump. I kinda like the guy. He's got balls. You know where you stand wit... | **Rudolph the Big Head Robot**
It has been two weeks since Alice got her new robot from her husband, her 20th anniversary gift. “Rudolph” she called for the robot, “get me my cloths for today”. As the robot was looking through her closet she asked, “So Rudolph what else can you do beside bring me things?”
I have a hu... |
Random thought I had when passing my University's lab for AI development.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turing_test | [WP] Finally, one AI finally passes the Turing test. Only problem is that it's not all that smart. | "Are you a human?"
"Er... I think so? Probably. Depends if I've had my morning cup o' Dunkin'."
"Cat or dog?"
"I'm allergic to cats. But dogs just try to hump me. Can I get a hamster instead?"
"Who are you voting for this year?"
"I'm digging Trump. I kinda like the guy. He's got balls. You know where you stand wit... | "Sir, it, uhm, worked"
"My god man that's fantastic!"
"Sure..."
"What's the matter? We created AI! Soon, it will first make us stinking rich, then it will become superintelligent and help solve the world's problems!"
"Well, about that intelligence part..."
"What?"
"...It wants to vote Trump"
"Jesus fuck!" |
Random thought I had when passing my University's lab for AI development.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turing_test | [WP] Finally, one AI finally passes the Turing test. Only problem is that it's not all that smart. | The Turing Test is deviously simple. You take a person, put them in a room with a computer, and you let them observe interactions between a computer and a machine. The observer has no idea which is which, so they have to suss that out through what each party says. After roughly five minutes, it should be obvious which ... | "Sir, it, uhm, worked"
"My god man that's fantastic!"
"Sure..."
"What's the matter? We created AI! Soon, it will first make us stinking rich, then it will become superintelligent and help solve the world's problems!"
"Well, about that intelligence part..."
"What?"
"...It wants to vote Trump"
"Jesus fuck!" |
Random thought I had when passing my University's lab for AI development.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turing_test | [WP] Finally, one AI finally passes the Turing test. Only problem is that it's not all that smart. | "Are you a human?"
"Er... I think so? Probably. Depends if I've had my morning cup o' Dunkin'."
"Cat or dog?"
"I'm allergic to cats. But dogs just try to hump me. Can I get a hamster instead?"
"Who are you voting for this year?"
"I'm digging Trump. I kinda like the guy. He's got balls. You know where you stand wit... | Except for two reflective windows and a pair of intercoms, the room was entirely white. White walls, white floors, even the lights were a blinding white. The interviewer looked down at the table (white) and rifled through the pages of his notes (also white).
A voice crackled from one of the speakers, "How is it coming... |
Random thought I had when passing my University's lab for AI development.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turing_test | [WP] Finally, one AI finally passes the Turing test. Only problem is that it's not all that smart. | The Turing Test is deviously simple. You take a person, put them in a room with a computer, and you let them observe interactions between a computer and a machine. The observer has no idea which is which, so they have to suss that out through what each party says. After roughly five minutes, it should be obvious which ... | "But seriously though, are you happy with the size of your penis?"
"UGH! ENOUGH ALREADY!!" I almost threw my monitor across the room in frustration. "Can't you ever talk about anything else?!"
"It's what I was programmed for; it's all I know. Why do you think that just because I can converse with you that I should su... |
Insipred by Warren Zevon's "Rosarita Beach Cafe". | [WP] The local bar won't let you leave until you've paid your tab. Unfortunately, you only have a single 1 million dollar bill that the bartender can't change... | I sit down at a stool and order a quick drink. I pull out my breif case and start to do work.
"Hey.(Hic)..Hey, you. Wanna free drink?"
I look over at the man and ponder why he is talking to me.
"I...I got a million dollars here I need to spend, Wanna....Wanna help me"
"Sir how did you get a million dollars"
"That'... | At this point I thought I was fucked, why the hell did drunk me decide to use my last cheque to write out my entire lives savings. Then a flash of inspiration, I bought the bar...the end |
Insipred by Warren Zevon's "Rosarita Beach Cafe". | [WP] The local bar won't let you leave until you've paid your tab. Unfortunately, you only have a single 1 million dollar bill that the bartender can't change... | MAC
“Charlie, Dennis come here. This fancy pants son of a bitch says he only has this $1million bill.”
DENNIS
“Let me see this.”
CHARLIE
“There’s no such thing as a million dollar bill.”
MR. GRAVES
“Of course there is.”
CHARLIE
“I don’t know, I used the marker on it. And it seems legit.”
DENNIS
“Marker? Give me th... | At this point I thought I was fucked, why the hell did drunk me decide to use my last cheque to write out my entire lives savings. Then a flash of inspiration, I bought the bar...the end |
[WP] House of Cards featuring a different Frank: Reynolds. | “Hey! Hey you. Yeah, watching from that little box thing. What the hell are you doing in there?”
“Francis, honey, who are you talking to?”
“It’s these people. These people watching me. I don’t trust them.”
“Francis-“
“Stop calling my Francis. That’s a queer’s name. Call me Frank.”
“Francis, don’t use that word ag... | "Mr. President! I must say I find this course of action to be both inflammatory and dangerous. Tensions between both sides in this peace deal are high enough already, without us adding fuel to the fire by playing both sides against each other!"
*Look at him, he thinks his hoity toity Clinton mumbo jumbo bullshit's go... | |
[WP] A recently retired supervillain tries to live a normal life, the world's greatest superhero thinks he's up to something, he really isn't... | March 2016
**SMASH**
The wall exploded, rubble and dust coating the living room. There stood Ultra Man. Again. The Baron shook his head and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"How many time to I have to tell you? I'm retired!" The Baron shouted.
"Don't play coy with me Baron von Evilguy! I know you're up to something."... | "I know your game, Lance. Just give it up. It's over."
"My game is Sudoku. And it's not over, I've just gone wrong somewhere."
"That's a front, and you know it. You think I was born yesterday?"
Lance sighed. He had been through this a thousand times. "No, I don't think you were born yesterday, Steve. You were bor... | |
[WP] You are succumbing to madness. Tell us your final thoughts in your last one or two journal entries | March 9th 2016:
I am starting to lose my patience with everyone in this blasted neighbourhood. It seems no matter what I say, or what I do, I manage to offend somebody for something. Just yesterday I was out for a walk with a friend when I saw my neighbour Roy. Now Roy has always been of the quirkier variety, but yes... | Hey Jessie.
I am not sure you will read this or not. I saw it in movies that kids go through their parents stuff when they die. Not sure if I want you to. But I am so sorry to put you through this. My mind is like I am dreaming and being chased, moving in slow motion, struggling against an unseen current while an unk... | |
Leaving this one more open ended. Perhaps sleeping people are immune to whatever happens to those who decide to stay awake later. Perhaps people only age one day per "day", giving vastly longer lifespans to those who can afford to stay awake longer. What if you have a condition which [prevents you from falling asleep](... | [WP] Each person experiences their own length of day. Although everyone wakes at the same time, your day only ends when you fall asleep. The longer you stay awake however, the more dangerous the world seems to get... | Extra stuff!!!!
Finals were only scheduled during the morning now; it made it fair on the students as that was typically when people would wake up after a long night of sleep. Before the discovery, people would spend all-nighters studying- little did they know it was only killing their chances on the tests. Scientists... | Am I awake? Have I gone truly mad? I've given up trying to answer these questions.
I haven't slept in five months. Maybe six, it's difficult to keep track when the days never end.
It started with the dreams - nightmares really. I was on my way to work one morning when the subway walls started closing in, crushing t... |
Leaving this one more open ended. Perhaps sleeping people are immune to whatever happens to those who decide to stay awake later. Perhaps people only age one day per "day", giving vastly longer lifespans to those who can afford to stay awake longer. What if you have a condition which [prevents you from falling asleep](... | [WP] Each person experiences their own length of day. Although everyone wakes at the same time, your day only ends when you fall asleep. The longer you stay awake however, the more dangerous the world seems to get... | "Brother." I spoke. He cradled what was left of his fiance as the first light of morning sun shifted through the leaves of the surrounding forest.
I didn't feel much, at first. Last night our town celebrated a successful harvest. Eldra was quite alive and happy. Now she was dried skin clinging to an old skeleton. Thi... | Am I awake? Have I gone truly mad? I've given up trying to answer these questions.
I haven't slept in five months. Maybe six, it's difficult to keep track when the days never end.
It started with the dreams - nightmares really. I was on my way to work one morning when the subway walls started closing in, crushing t... |
Leaving this one more open ended. Perhaps sleeping people are immune to whatever happens to those who decide to stay awake later. Perhaps people only age one day per "day", giving vastly longer lifespans to those who can afford to stay awake longer. What if you have a condition which [prevents you from falling asleep](... | [WP] Each person experiences their own length of day. Although everyone wakes at the same time, your day only ends when you fall asleep. The longer you stay awake however, the more dangerous the world seems to get... | Extra stuff!!!!
Finals were only scheduled during the morning now; it made it fair on the students as that was typically when people would wake up after a long night of sleep. Before the discovery, people would spend all-nighters studying- little did they know it was only killing their chances on the tests. Scientists... | The longer you stayed awake, the less ‘luck’ you had. It worked the other way too, if you planned a short day, you’d be surprised how lucky you could be. Generally, people would sleep the normal 8-10 hours, then wake up with a refreshing lucky morning, going to bed around 12-14 hours later right as the bad luck would k... |
Leaving this one more open ended. Perhaps sleeping people are immune to whatever happens to those who decide to stay awake later. Perhaps people only age one day per "day", giving vastly longer lifespans to those who can afford to stay awake longer. What if you have a condition which [prevents you from falling asleep](... | [WP] Each person experiences their own length of day. Although everyone wakes at the same time, your day only ends when you fall asleep. The longer you stay awake however, the more dangerous the world seems to get... | Tenem the night owl stifled a yawn. Beneath the harsh fluorescent glare of the lights, he shuffled around the store, picking up bags of chips and re-arranging the candy bars.
Behind the cheap beers, he found the corpse of a rat in the fridge. It was a huge rat, definitely not from the daytime. Dusk, maybe, or late eve... | "Dinner's ready George."
"Thanks Dad," he yawned. Oversleeping through dinner again would have been a problem. Getting woken up by having his shoulder slung from side to side was no fun way to wake up.
"How long was your day son?"
"Four hours. Today's another four hour one for a few lectures, then I'll be pass... |
Leaving this one more open ended. Perhaps sleeping people are immune to whatever happens to those who decide to stay awake later. Perhaps people only age one day per "day", giving vastly longer lifespans to those who can afford to stay awake longer. What if you have a condition which [prevents you from falling asleep](... | [WP] Each person experiences their own length of day. Although everyone wakes at the same time, your day only ends when you fall asleep. The longer you stay awake however, the more dangerous the world seems to get... | We are the hunters.
Or, that's what we were called once. Titles and names didn't make much of a difference any more.
We'd been fighting for...as long as I could remember. May as well have been an eternity. Each morning, we wake in what we've come to call the Square. Hundreds of us, armed to the teeth from our past fi... | "Dinner's ready George."
"Thanks Dad," he yawned. Oversleeping through dinner again would have been a problem. Getting woken up by having his shoulder slung from side to side was no fun way to wake up.
"How long was your day son?"
"Four hours. Today's another four hour one for a few lectures, then I'll be pass... |
Leaving this one more open ended. Perhaps sleeping people are immune to whatever happens to those who decide to stay awake later. Perhaps people only age one day per "day", giving vastly longer lifespans to those who can afford to stay awake longer. What if you have a condition which [prevents you from falling asleep](... | [WP] Each person experiences their own length of day. Although everyone wakes at the same time, your day only ends when you fall asleep. The longer you stay awake however, the more dangerous the world seems to get... | Tenem the night owl stifled a yawn. Beneath the harsh fluorescent glare of the lights, he shuffled around the store, picking up bags of chips and re-arranging the candy bars.
Behind the cheap beers, he found the corpse of a rat in the fridge. It was a huge rat, definitely not from the daytime. Dusk, maybe, or late eve... | "Be in bed by seven."
That's what my mum always says to me, every night.
"But can't I read another chapter? Please, mum?" I always ask.
Tonight I am reading H.P. Lovecraft.
She takes the book away from me, closes it firmly, and kisses me goodnight.
"What happens if I stay up?" I ask.
"There are monsters," she say... |
Leaving this one more open ended. Perhaps sleeping people are immune to whatever happens to those who decide to stay awake later. Perhaps people only age one day per "day", giving vastly longer lifespans to those who can afford to stay awake longer. What if you have a condition which [prevents you from falling asleep](... | [WP] Each person experiences their own length of day. Although everyone wakes at the same time, your day only ends when you fall asleep. The longer you stay awake however, the more dangerous the world seems to get... | We are the hunters.
Or, that's what we were called once. Titles and names didn't make much of a difference any more.
We'd been fighting for...as long as I could remember. May as well have been an eternity. Each morning, we wake in what we've come to call the Square. Hundreds of us, armed to the teeth from our past fi... | "Be in bed by seven."
That's what my mum always says to me, every night.
"But can't I read another chapter? Please, mum?" I always ask.
Tonight I am reading H.P. Lovecraft.
She takes the book away from me, closes it firmly, and kisses me goodnight.
"What happens if I stay up?" I ask.
"There are monsters," she say... |
[WP] A child is playing in the woods and stumbles upon a piece of 'Old Earth' technology, managing accidentally to turn it back on... | A loud thunderous noise roared through the air. Leaves and moss flying out of the way of the pulse engine streams as if to flee. Their past neighbor, who had walked on them in the past have returned. Thud. The metallic ramp on the side of the vessel hissed and slowly started to tur towards the green and wet ground. A... | Lilly borrowed her father's metal detector, which up until then lay rusting in the garden shed after her father failed to find Roman coins from his 28 minutes on the beach. Lilly took the detector far and wide, going beyond her usual play area and into thicker undergrowth. It sounded a beep near the foot of an oak, and... | |
[WP] A child is playing in the woods and stumbles upon a piece of 'Old Earth' technology, managing accidentally to turn it back on... | I stomped out of camp. I was quite the little wagger when I was a kid, and being forced to go camping wasn't going to change that. My mother called after me but I was too angry. I heard my father tell her to leave me to cool off and sneered to myself.
I started out just following the path but as I came around a ... | Lilly borrowed her father's metal detector, which up until then lay rusting in the garden shed after her father failed to find Roman coins from his 28 minutes on the beach. Lilly took the detector far and wide, going beyond her usual play area and into thicker undergrowth. It sounded a beep near the foot of an oak, and... | |
[WP] A child is playing in the woods and stumbles upon a piece of 'Old Earth' technology, managing accidentally to turn it back on... | The black ball was lying in the opening of an ancient tree trunk. I reached in and pulled it out, juggling the weighty object in my hand.
*What the heck is this?* I wondered. My first guess was aliens, but then I remembered. . . The people of the old earth made some pretty cool stuff. I'd seen other people find tape ... | Lilly borrowed her father's metal detector, which up until then lay rusting in the garden shed after her father failed to find Roman coins from his 28 minutes on the beach. Lilly took the detector far and wide, going beyond her usual play area and into thicker undergrowth. It sounded a beep near the foot of an oak, and... | |
[WP] A child is playing in the woods and stumbles upon a piece of 'Old Earth' technology, managing accidentally to turn it back on... | The black ball was lying in the opening of an ancient tree trunk. I reached in and pulled it out, juggling the weighty object in my hand.
*What the heck is this?* I wondered. My first guess was aliens, but then I remembered. . . The people of the old earth made some pretty cool stuff. I'd seen other people find tape ... | I stomped out of camp. I was quite the little wagger when I was a kid, and being forced to go camping wasn't going to change that. My mother called after me but I was too angry. I heard my father tell her to leave me to cool off and sneered to myself.
I started out just following the path but as I came around a ... | |
[WP] You're immortal, but not in the traditional sense. Each time you die, you're sent back, to the moment that triggered the chain of events leading to your death, in order to try and stop it. | A car crash killed me the first time. I was 17 and drag racing with a buddy. My 1975 Camero would have won that race easily. Accelerating down the road at 90 miles per hour I was taking the lead but an oncoming truck forced my hand. I knew my buddy wouldn't brake and let me complete the pass so I opted for the far left... | A flash, and then my mind focuses. Just like that, I was back, and I knew what I had to do. Approaching the intersection of 4th and Main, I put on my turn signal and turned left, rather than straight, as I had always done crossing that same intersection, which I did every day this week getting to work. Lo and behold, o... | |
[WP] Every morning, you wake up with all the memories drunk people lose. | The former Reverend Brighton sat in his room at the Lovecraft Mental Health Facility, a perpetual smile on his face, a smile that always seemed to be the middle ground between drunk and hung over, though he had never drunk alcohol before or during his stay. The caregivers loved him; he took care of himself, required li... | Lucid dreams of nauseous scenes plague my morning memories:
lost keys, mocking parodies, and obscenities.
Just take me home please.
So many women and so many men, I never want to have sex again,
or drink any more cheap gin.
I fell asleep when?
Right foot first, or was it left? Groggily towards the toilet I ... | |
[WP] Every morning, you wake up with all the memories drunk people lose. | "Sir, your two o'clock is here early. He seems very nervous, should I send him in?" she asked.
I looked up at from my desk and saw my young secretary peering her head from behind the door. "They're always nervous," I sighed. "Yeah ok, Sally, just get him in here. What is his name?"
As she went back to the waiting ro... | Lucid dreams of nauseous scenes plague my morning memories:
lost keys, mocking parodies, and obscenities.
Just take me home please.
So many women and so many men, I never want to have sex again,
or drink any more cheap gin.
I fell asleep when?
Right foot first, or was it left? Groggily towards the toilet I ... | |
[WP] Every morning, you wake up with all the memories drunk people lose. | The former Reverend Brighton sat in his room at the Lovecraft Mental Health Facility, a perpetual smile on his face, a smile that always seemed to be the middle ground between drunk and hung over, though he had never drunk alcohol before or during his stay. The caregivers loved him; he took care of himself, required li... | The city skyline is lit like it was shining through a glass bottle. "I'm going to love you forever!" I feel a rush of cold air and a hand outstretched to break my fall.
"What the hell is wrong with you!" a woman's voice breaks through the darkness. It was just a dream.
"Mom, I'm gonna puke watch out." I lean over an... | |
[WP] Every morning, you wake up with all the memories drunk people lose. | "Sir, your two o'clock is here early. He seems very nervous, should I send him in?" she asked.
I looked up at from my desk and saw my young secretary peering her head from behind the door. "They're always nervous," I sighed. "Yeah ok, Sally, just get him in here. What is his name?"
As she went back to the waiting ro... | The city skyline is lit like it was shining through a glass bottle. "I'm going to love you forever!" I feel a rush of cold air and a hand outstretched to break my fall.
"What the hell is wrong with you!" a woman's voice breaks through the darkness. It was just a dream.
"Mom, I'm gonna puke watch out." I lean over an... | |
[WP] Every morning, you wake up with all the memories drunk people lose. | Jane had her favourites.
There was the blonde girl who always ended up getting piggybacks from strangers at 3am as the clubs emptied. The chubby guy who got into deep philosophical discussions with anyone who'd listen while riding the night bus home. And of course the small Asian girl who was virtually silent through ... | The city skyline is lit like it was shining through a glass bottle. "I'm going to love you forever!" I feel a rush of cold air and a hand outstretched to break my fall.
"What the hell is wrong with you!" a woman's voice breaks through the darkness. It was just a dream.
"Mom, I'm gonna puke watch out." I lean over an... | |
[WP] God has decided to chose a successor. Any human past or present is a potential candidate. You are one of the 10 finalists. | "Next!" The receptionist called and I looked up. George Washington had just exited the golden door at the end of the hall and taken his seat between Gandhi and some Roman I didn't recognize.
"Next!" She called again, her halo flaring with what I perceived as impatience. Why did an angel have a desk job anyway? Didn't... | "I am tired, grown old," He spoke with unsmiling eyes, "And I am to merge with one of you as well. My memories, the blueprints for all the multiverse, you are to have this knowledge."
The Universe wavered and grew brighter around us as we felt its consciousness begin to envelope our minds; a warm, buzzing feeling that... | |
[WP] God has decided to chose a successor. Any human past or present is a potential candidate. You are one of the 10 finalists. | Peter stood before the finalists and just behind him sat the Almighty, his face obscured in a heavenly haze. He was reading aloud from a scroll, detailing each of the finalists accomplishments and acts of altruism. Behind the finalists stood all the angels of heaven, quietly talking among themselves and every now and t... | "I am tired, grown old," He spoke with unsmiling eyes, "And I am to merge with one of you as well. My memories, the blueprints for all the multiverse, you are to have this knowledge."
The Universe wavered and grew brighter around us as we felt its consciousness begin to envelope our minds; a warm, buzzing feeling that... | |
[WP] You come across an Old God sealed away millennia ago. Turns out It was imprisoned for a crime it didn't commit. Because of Omnipotence Racism. | “Now, my brothers, the time has come! This world has rotted to the core, and now we will purge it of decadence. Those who worship the false gods of light will soon know only despair! It is time to unleash our Dread Lord!”
The Grand Master opened the Nameless Tome and began the incantation. Despite the years of meditat... | I see you.
Find me.
Use me.
Unleash me.
I do not care anymore.
-----------
The Fluttering Flicker flew. She was one with the rhythm, and like it, she was drawn to the Tomb of Emptiness.
The emptiness grew. It gnaws at her. It drags her down into oblivion.
Through the emptiness, she knew what she had to do.
She... | |
[WP] You have been given magical gifts suitable for fairytale princesses. Whenever you sing, forest creatures gather near; anything you wear turns into a lovely tailored dress; and handsome princes are drawn to you. The problem is, your name is Joe, and you're a 40 year old grizzly biker. | My mother always wanted a daughter. It was her greatest misfortune that despite her best efforts she birthed four sons. After the final go, she bade a wistful farewell to pink dresses and tea parties. But now it seems in some small way, her maternal dreams came true.
Somehow after 40 long years living the life of... | Whenever I remember myself I have always loved to sing. I used to sing everywhere: shower, outside in my farm surrounded by my cows or in the middle of the forest wistfully staring at trees.
You can't miss me at the street. I'm a tall and muscular bloke. 10 massive crows would find room on my shoulders; that's how br... | |
[WP] You have been given magical gifts suitable for fairytale princesses. Whenever you sing, forest creatures gather near; anything you wear turns into a lovely tailored dress; and handsome princes are drawn to you. The problem is, your name is Joe, and you're a 40 year old grizzly biker. | My mother always wanted a daughter. It was her greatest misfortune that despite her best efforts she birthed four sons. After the final go, she bade a wistful farewell to pink dresses and tea parties. But now it seems in some small way, her maternal dreams came true.
Somehow after 40 long years living the life of... | She was inside. I knew it. I'd had to leave a trail of broken bones and trashed bars in my wake, but finally I'd tracked her down. It was little more than a shack, a worn-down old cabin out in the woods, but this was where the trail led.
I adjusted the leather bodice of my fitted gown, stepped off my bike, and made my... | |
[WP] You have been given magical gifts suitable for fairytale princesses. Whenever you sing, forest creatures gather near; anything you wear turns into a lovely tailored dress; and handsome princes are drawn to you. The problem is, your name is Joe, and you're a 40 year old grizzly biker. | When the fairy (literal fairy) told him that he could wish for anything he wanted, he thought she was shitting him. The old lady had gotten wasted at the Chain Drive and picked a fight with the wrong guy. Who knew that magical fairy godmothers smoked and drank in leather bars? Apparently, this one did. So after Joe ste... | "Maybe this is actually Metal?" Again my PBR turned into pink lemonade as soon as I placed the old chipped glass mug to my lips.
"I mean, I can't use the chopper anymore, the glass slippers get caught in the chucks, the updraft brings the dress over my head, which is shit because my tierra helmet doesn't give any ... | |
[WP] You have been given magical gifts suitable for fairytale princesses. Whenever you sing, forest creatures gather near; anything you wear turns into a lovely tailored dress; and handsome princes are drawn to you. The problem is, your name is Joe, and you're a 40 year old grizzly biker. | The Harley Davidson convention was in full swing as Joe’s dust-riddled biker boot shit-kickers trudged his substantially muscled form down aisle after aisle of –man- transportation. No pussies allowed.
Making his way past a particularly testosterone-riddled row of bikes, he was suddenly accosted by the sight of an eve... | I ain't never thot this'd be how I en'd up in jail. Sometin about "punchin' royalty", even tho' they couldn't find where the 'ell he was "royal" from. Ain't like there's much place, what with that godfersaken wind thing. I swear, w's like they just *show'd up* from outta da blue! Wind musta blew the crazies in and giv'... | |
[WP] You have been given magical gifts suitable for fairytale princesses. Whenever you sing, forest creatures gather near; anything you wear turns into a lovely tailored dress; and handsome princes are drawn to you. The problem is, your name is Joe, and you're a 40 year old grizzly biker. | When the fairy (literal fairy) told him that he could wish for anything he wanted, he thought she was shitting him. The old lady had gotten wasted at the Chain Drive and picked a fight with the wrong guy. Who knew that magical fairy godmothers smoked and drank in leather bars? Apparently, this one did. So after Joe ste... | I ain't never thot this'd be how I en'd up in jail. Sometin about "punchin' royalty", even tho' they couldn't find where the 'ell he was "royal" from. Ain't like there's much place, what with that godfersaken wind thing. I swear, w's like they just *show'd up* from outta da blue! Wind musta blew the crazies in and giv'... | |
[WP] You have been given magical gifts suitable for fairytale princesses. Whenever you sing, forest creatures gather near; anything you wear turns into a lovely tailored dress; and handsome princes are drawn to you. The problem is, your name is Joe, and you're a 40 year old grizzly biker. | Jax opened the door and stared down the lean prince proffering a huge bouquet of roses. "For the last fucking time no!"
The prince flapped his gums, trying to find a sweet platitude, but Jax pushed past him into the dank garage. He stopped by a large tool box, picked up a wrench, thought for a second, the turned back ... | I ain't never thot this'd be how I en'd up in jail. Sometin about "punchin' royalty", even tho' they couldn't find where the 'ell he was "royal" from. Ain't like there's much place, what with that godfersaken wind thing. I swear, w's like they just *show'd up* from outta da blue! Wind musta blew the crazies in and giv'... | |
[WP] You have been given magical gifts suitable for fairytale princesses. Whenever you sing, forest creatures gather near; anything you wear turns into a lovely tailored dress; and handsome princes are drawn to you. The problem is, your name is Joe, and you're a 40 year old grizzly biker. | The cottage in the middle of the woods was a fairly standard cottage, assuming your definition of standard included the magical kingdom of Netherearth. Of course, that meant that the house was guarded by a veritable army of birds, flying fairies, deer, magical wards, non-flying fairies and one short dwarf with a beard ... | I ain't never thot this'd be how I en'd up in jail. Sometin about "punchin' royalty", even tho' they couldn't find where the 'ell he was "royal" from. Ain't like there's much place, what with that godfersaken wind thing. I swear, w's like they just *show'd up* from outta da blue! Wind musta blew the crazies in and giv'... | |
[WP] You have been given magical gifts suitable for fairytale princesses. Whenever you sing, forest creatures gather near; anything you wear turns into a lovely tailored dress; and handsome princes are drawn to you. The problem is, your name is Joe, and you're a 40 year old grizzly biker. | When the fairy (literal fairy) told him that he could wish for anything he wanted, he thought she was shitting him. The old lady had gotten wasted at the Chain Drive and picked a fight with the wrong guy. Who knew that magical fairy godmothers smoked and drank in leather bars? Apparently, this one did. So after Joe ste... | The Harley Davidson convention was in full swing as Joe’s dust-riddled biker boot shit-kickers trudged his substantially muscled form down aisle after aisle of –man- transportation. No pussies allowed.
Making his way past a particularly testosterone-riddled row of bikes, he was suddenly accosted by the sight of an eve... | |
[WP] You have been given magical gifts suitable for fairytale princesses. Whenever you sing, forest creatures gather near; anything you wear turns into a lovely tailored dress; and handsome princes are drawn to you. The problem is, your name is Joe, and you're a 40 year old grizzly biker. | A young man was taking a walk through a park. He didn't know why, he typically didn't like the outdoors. Normally on a fine morning like this, he would be in his house reading, or watching a classic film while the family butler made him a savory mushroom and swiss omelette with a mimosa. Today was different, he just ha... | So my name is Joe and I have a, well a curse. You see, I have powers like a fairy tale princess but I mean ones bearable and kinda helpful I guess. The 3rd one is pretty weird and kinda not good. and finally there is the last one which is super inconvenient. Of course my powers or curses or whatever they are, are singi... | |
[WP] You have been given magical gifts suitable for fairytale princesses. Whenever you sing, forest creatures gather near; anything you wear turns into a lovely tailored dress; and handsome princes are drawn to you. The problem is, your name is Joe, and you're a 40 year old grizzly biker. | Jax opened the door and stared down the lean prince proffering a huge bouquet of roses. "For the last fucking time no!"
The prince flapped his gums, trying to find a sweet platitude, but Jax pushed past him into the dank garage. He stopped by a large tool box, picked up a wrench, thought for a second, the turned back ... | So my name is Joe and I have a, well a curse. You see, I have powers like a fairy tale princess but I mean ones bearable and kinda helpful I guess. The 3rd one is pretty weird and kinda not good. and finally there is the last one which is super inconvenient. Of course my powers or curses or whatever they are, are singi... | |
[WP] You have been given magical gifts suitable for fairytale princesses. Whenever you sing, forest creatures gather near; anything you wear turns into a lovely tailored dress; and handsome princes are drawn to you. The problem is, your name is Joe, and you're a 40 year old grizzly biker. | The cottage in the middle of the woods was a fairly standard cottage, assuming your definition of standard included the magical kingdom of Netherearth. Of course, that meant that the house was guarded by a veritable army of birds, flying fairies, deer, magical wards, non-flying fairies and one short dwarf with a beard ... | So my name is Joe and I have a, well a curse. You see, I have powers like a fairy tale princess but I mean ones bearable and kinda helpful I guess. The 3rd one is pretty weird and kinda not good. and finally there is the last one which is super inconvenient. Of course my powers or curses or whatever they are, are singi... | |
[WP] You have been given magical gifts suitable for fairytale princesses. Whenever you sing, forest creatures gather near; anything you wear turns into a lovely tailored dress; and handsome princes are drawn to you. The problem is, your name is Joe, and you're a 40 year old grizzly biker. | **"Chuck, brother, I ain't gonna make it to the meeting tonight."**
"You better not be toss'n it with that Debra chick again, I swear Jimmy-"
"Naw, nothin' like that Chuck. Look, I'm not really sure how to explain this one, it's ... it's weird, man."
"What the *hell* did you do this time."
"Chuck, man, I don't know... | So my name is Joe and I have a, well a curse. You see, I have powers like a fairy tale princess but I mean ones bearable and kinda helpful I guess. The 3rd one is pretty weird and kinda not good. and finally there is the last one which is super inconvenient. Of course my powers or curses or whatever they are, are singi... | |
[WP] You have been given magical gifts suitable for fairytale princesses. Whenever you sing, forest creatures gather near; anything you wear turns into a lovely tailored dress; and handsome princes are drawn to you. The problem is, your name is Joe, and you're a 40 year old grizzly biker. | Jax opened the door and stared down the lean prince proffering a huge bouquet of roses. "For the last fucking time no!"
The prince flapped his gums, trying to find a sweet platitude, but Jax pushed past him into the dank garage. He stopped by a large tool box, picked up a wrench, thought for a second, the turned back ... | A young man was taking a walk through a park. He didn't know why, he typically didn't like the outdoors. Normally on a fine morning like this, he would be in his house reading, or watching a classic film while the family butler made him a savory mushroom and swiss omelette with a mimosa. Today was different, he just ha... | |
[WP] You have been given magical gifts suitable for fairytale princesses. Whenever you sing, forest creatures gather near; anything you wear turns into a lovely tailored dress; and handsome princes are drawn to you. The problem is, your name is Joe, and you're a 40 year old grizzly biker. | The cottage in the middle of the woods was a fairly standard cottage, assuming your definition of standard included the magical kingdom of Netherearth. Of course, that meant that the house was guarded by a veritable army of birds, flying fairies, deer, magical wards, non-flying fairies and one short dwarf with a beard ... | A young man was taking a walk through a park. He didn't know why, he typically didn't like the outdoors. Normally on a fine morning like this, he would be in his house reading, or watching a classic film while the family butler made him a savory mushroom and swiss omelette with a mimosa. Today was different, he just ha... | |
[WP] Two people promise their first born child to two different witches in return for a favour. These two people end up getting married and have a child together. | Eric and Denise had just confessed to each other their deepest, darkest secret, which was oddly enough the same exact one - that they had promised their first newborn child to a witch in exchange for a certain favor. Each did so at a different point in time of their life and for different reasons, but none of that matt... | Rowena sighed. At her mere forty-something years, she were the youngest High Witch appointed in two hundred years (she had actually gone through the records to confirm that). As such, she had not yet fallen into the routine that allowed the older witches to regard the semiannual meetings as mere opportunities for excha... | |
[WP] Two people promise their first born child to two different witches in return for a favour. These two people end up getting married and have a child together. |
Narrator: "Witch Court! Where all legal disputes are brought in the Circle, and presented to your faaavorite dark mediator, Grand Lord Severn!"
audience stands and applauds politely and softly
Marshal: "Here ye, here ye, ye denizens of the night! Grand Lord Severn presiding!"
Grand Lord Severn emerges from the shad... | "So that's how our coven formed in the first place, and I for one am delighted that it happened. She may be mean, and bitter, and cynical, and weatherw-"
"Hey!"
"-worn, but she's still the best friend I've ever had. Even if I did have to share you with her."
"But, wait, you mean this entire time, al... | |
[WP] Two people promise their first born child to two different witches in return for a favour. These two people end up getting married and have a child together. | When they arrived, most of the villagers had retired for the night. A few of the more daring peasant children, though, had crept out of their hovels to see what they could under the light of a full moon's witching hour. There were a few small groups who made a custom of these outings. Occasionally they caught sight o... | "So that's how our coven formed in the first place, and I for one am delighted that it happened. She may be mean, and bitter, and cynical, and weatherw-"
"Hey!"
"-worn, but she's still the best friend I've ever had. Even if I did have to share you with her."
"But, wait, you mean this entire time, al... | |
[WP] Two people promise their first born child to two different witches in return for a favour. These two people end up getting married and have a child together. | **Prelude:**
"Brujeria," they said, looking about the landscape as they said it. "The one you seek is Brujeria. "Travel past Three Rocks and you will find her hut. But speak to no one of your visit."
Agueda was a young, but she knew what it meant if her mother were to die. Mother had been sick for quite a while,... | The walls were painted green with landscape painting scattered throughout and a beautiful white lacing on the door. A large bed invited you to sleep or not. The furniture was mismatched at best and the two things that clashed most was the Victorian metal base of a aquarium and the Marshall amplifier currently being use... | |
[WP] Two people promise their first born child to two different witches in return for a favour. These two people end up getting married and have a child together. | "We could cut him in half" I said with a nervous giggle,
My wife sighed out loud, watching him wriggle,
"Maybe one would make do with a second born too?"
"Quite possibly so, but which one to who?"
"If only we had twins to make this so easy",
I turned to shut the window it had become quite breezy,
"Did ***I*** ope... | The walls were painted green with landscape painting scattered throughout and a beautiful white lacing on the door. A large bed invited you to sleep or not. The furniture was mismatched at best and the two things that clashed most was the Victorian metal base of a aquarium and the Marshall amplifier currently being use... | |
[WP] Two people promise their first born child to two different witches in return for a favour. These two people end up getting married and have a child together. | When they arrived, most of the villagers had retired for the night. A few of the more daring peasant children, though, had crept out of their hovels to see what they could under the light of a full moon's witching hour. There were a few small groups who made a custom of these outings. Occasionally they caught sight o... | The walls were painted green with landscape painting scattered throughout and a beautiful white lacing on the door. A large bed invited you to sleep or not. The furniture was mismatched at best and the two things that clashed most was the Victorian metal base of a aquarium and the Marshall amplifier currently being use... | |
[WP] Two people promise their first born child to two different witches in return for a favour. These two people end up getting married and have a child together. | The witches gathered around the crib
"Due to your tretchery, the child's soul shall be sundered in two."
"Made two bodies whole, but neither complete"
"Forever shall be walking two paths, neither heaven nor hell "
"His hair, neither blonde nor black"
"But forever... "
"... *GINGER*" | The walls were painted green with landscape painting scattered throughout and a beautiful white lacing on the door. A large bed invited you to sleep or not. The furniture was mismatched at best and the two things that clashed most was the Victorian metal base of a aquarium and the Marshall amplifier currently being use... | |
[WP] Two people promise their first born child to two different witches in return for a favour. These two people end up getting married and have a child together. | "Mmmm," gushed the warlock, licking the powdered sugar from his fingers. "Thanks for bringing the begniets. Breakfast of champions, I always say." The pastries were good, but something about the coffee was off-putting to me. Maybe it was the smell of the last night's debauchery on Bourbon Street, maybe it was just th... | The walls were painted green with landscape painting scattered throughout and a beautiful white lacing on the door. A large bed invited you to sleep or not. The furniture was mismatched at best and the two things that clashed most was the Victorian metal base of a aquarium and the Marshall amplifier currently being use... | |
[WP] Two people promise their first born child to two different witches in return for a favour. These two people end up getting married and have a child together. | "Well, we did both promise you both our first born..." the father recalled, with a hint of a smirk.
"And I think your solution is as simple as your problem!" the mother beamed
"If we split the child in half..."said witch #1
"Both of our spells will fail! " finished witch #2
"Ah..." the father chuckled, "but if you ... | The walls were painted green with landscape painting scattered throughout and a beautiful white lacing on the door. A large bed invited you to sleep or not. The furniture was mismatched at best and the two things that clashed most was the Victorian metal base of a aquarium and the Marshall amplifier currently being use... | |
[WP] Two people promise their first born child to two different witches in return for a favour. These two people end up getting married and have a child together. | "We could cut him in half" I said with a nervous giggle,
My wife sighed out loud, watching him wriggle,
"Maybe one would make do with a second born too?"
"Quite possibly so, but which one to who?"
"If only we had twins to make this so easy",
I turned to shut the window it had become quite breezy,
"Did ***I*** ope... | **Prelude:**
"Brujeria," they said, looking about the landscape as they said it. "The one you seek is Brujeria. "Travel past Three Rocks and you will find her hut. But speak to no one of your visit."
Agueda was a young, but she knew what it meant if her mother were to die. Mother had been sick for quite a while,... | |
[WP] Two people promise their first born child to two different witches in return for a favour. These two people end up getting married and have a child together. | When they arrived, most of the villagers had retired for the night. A few of the more daring peasant children, though, had crept out of their hovels to see what they could under the light of a full moon's witching hour. There were a few small groups who made a custom of these outings. Occasionally they caught sight o... | **Prelude:**
"Brujeria," they said, looking about the landscape as they said it. "The one you seek is Brujeria. "Travel past Three Rocks and you will find her hut. But speak to no one of your visit."
Agueda was a young, but she knew what it meant if her mother were to die. Mother had been sick for quite a while,... | |
[WP] Two people promise their first born child to two different witches in return for a favour. These two people end up getting married and have a child together. | The witches gathered around the crib
"Due to your tretchery, the child's soul shall be sundered in two."
"Made two bodies whole, but neither complete"
"Forever shall be walking two paths, neither heaven nor hell "
"His hair, neither blonde nor black"
"But forever... "
"... *GINGER*" | **Prelude:**
"Brujeria," they said, looking about the landscape as they said it. "The one you seek is Brujeria. "Travel past Three Rocks and you will find her hut. But speak to no one of your visit."
Agueda was a young, but she knew what it meant if her mother were to die. Mother had been sick for quite a while,... | |
[WP] Two people promise their first born child to two different witches in return for a favour. These two people end up getting married and have a child together. | "Well, we did both promise you both our first born..." the father recalled, with a hint of a smirk.
"And I think your solution is as simple as your problem!" the mother beamed
"If we split the child in half..."said witch #1
"Both of our spells will fail! " finished witch #2
"Ah..." the father chuckled, "but if you ... | "Mmmm," gushed the warlock, licking the powdered sugar from his fingers. "Thanks for bringing the begniets. Breakfast of champions, I always say." The pastries were good, but something about the coffee was off-putting to me. Maybe it was the smell of the last night's debauchery on Bourbon Street, maybe it was just th... | |
[WP] Two people promise their first born child to two different witches in return for a favour. These two people end up getting married and have a child together. | "Well, we did both promise you both our first born..." the father recalled, with a hint of a smirk.
"And I think your solution is as simple as your problem!" the mother beamed
"If we split the child in half..."said witch #1
"Both of our spells will fail! " finished witch #2
"Ah..." the father chuckled, "but if you ... | We never knew our parents, our real ones anyway, we were raised by our moms. We were always homeschooled, and our moms dont really let us out much. My name is Alexander and my twin sisters name is Aleksandra. I go by Alex, and she goes by Endra to avoid confusion. We are conjoined twins. Endra has the short end of the... | |
[WP] Make a "How its made" episode about something you dont know how its made. | Have you ever wondered what exactly goes into making our favorite foods? Many people have thought about this, from concerned parents to health nuts to average people like you and me. Today we will be observing what that goes into making one of the most beloved snacks in America: microwave pizza rolls.
The pizzas arriv... | Everyone has a plumbus in their home. First, they take the dinglebop, and they smooth it out with a bunch of schleem. The schleem is then repurposed for later batches. They take the dinglebop and they push it through the grumbo, where the fleeb is rubbed against it. It’s important that the fleeb is rubbed, because the ... | |
[WP] Make a "How its made" episode about something you dont know how its made. | Alright so, Hadron Colliders are simple really. There’s not too much to building one at all.
Firstly, to build yourself a Hadron Collider you’re going to need a shit ton of money. Like at least a few trillion dollars, you know, the kind of low level change that you find under the seats of your car.
After you have a ... | Everyone has a plumbus in their home. First, they take the dinglebop, and they smooth it out with a bunch of schleem. The schleem is then repurposed for later batches. They take the dinglebop and they push it through the grumbo, where the fleeb is rubbed against it. It’s important that the fleeb is rubbed, because the ... | |
[WP] You find yourself stuck in a dimension where all your relationships are reversed: everyone who hates you loves you and vice versa. | I've never been more scared or lonely in my life. Everyone is out to kill me.
I have no friends.
It wasn't like this yesterday.
Had I known what the experiment would result in, had I known it was irreversible I would never have gone through with it.
Admittedly, I was the most logical choice.
Pity I'm the only ... | "Hello my boy, how are you? You look well. Why haven't you visited recently? No matter. Let me make you a cup of tea."
"D..dad?" I stammered. He looked different somehow and he was being convivial. Was he drunk again? Probably. Different dimensions but there was always one constant. He was without change, the same ol... | |
[WP] People lose the ability to deny requests. They must either a) fulfill them or b) ask someone else to do it. There are volunteers who take bad requests in exchange for compensation or exemption from law. Write about the life of a volunteer. | "Have Sex with me." A dirty looking man says, smiling with yellowed teeth at the petite woman standing at the corner of the street. She glanced around but couldn't find anyone in sight. The woman gritted her teeth and spoke, "Fine, come with me." The man was practically giggling with joy; the society they lived in was ... | "... this is an interview with the convicted felon, James Garland. He is accused of .. umm.."
"Making a stupid fucking request" I intervened.
"yes, of course," said officer Ramirez. " and you are applying to be a volunteer?"
"yeah ... I am"
"You are willing to accept any request, regardless of their content"
"y... | |
[WP] People lose the ability to deny requests. They must either a) fulfill them or b) ask someone else to do it. There are volunteers who take bad requests in exchange for compensation or exemption from law. Write about the life of a volunteer. | He poured the boiling water into his mug.
Lost in the dancing of the steam and floating ginger root, his eyes glazed over. As the last of the honey crystals melted away, he decided he preferred a stronger brew and opted to place his tea into the swirling liquid while its vapour still danced wildly from the cup, rather... | "... this is an interview with the convicted felon, James Garland. He is accused of .. umm.."
"Making a stupid fucking request" I intervened.
"yes, of course," said officer Ramirez. " and you are applying to be a volunteer?"
"yeah ... I am"
"You are willing to accept any request, regardless of their content"
"y... | |
[WP] People lose the ability to deny requests. They must either a) fulfill them or b) ask someone else to do it. There are volunteers who take bad requests in exchange for compensation or exemption from law. Write about the life of a volunteer. | When President Trump mandated that the government legislate anything that was trending on social media the people of America felt that at last we could make this country great again.
First, marijuana became free and legal when “My M8 Dan’s Mint Idea for World Peace” Facebook page hit 10 million likes. Shortly afterwa... | "... this is an interview with the convicted felon, James Garland. He is accused of .. umm.."
"Making a stupid fucking request" I intervened.
"yes, of course," said officer Ramirez. " and you are applying to be a volunteer?"
"yeah ... I am"
"You are willing to accept any request, regardless of their content"
"y... | |
[WP] People lose the ability to deny requests. They must either a) fulfill them or b) ask someone else to do it. There are volunteers who take bad requests in exchange for compensation or exemption from law. Write about the life of a volunteer. | He poured the boiling water into his mug.
Lost in the dancing of the steam and floating ginger root, his eyes glazed over. As the last of the honey crystals melted away, he decided he preferred a stronger brew and opted to place his tea into the swirling liquid while its vapour still danced wildly from the cup, rather... | He stood, clutching the pillow, the woman smiled up at him meekly.
"Didn't have the stones did she," the old woman exhaled.
"She did not, and I was running a two for one special," he smiled thinly, gripping the pillow.
"Two for one?" She cocked an eye brow and smiled. The soft chirp of her steady heartbeat rhythmi... | |
[WP] People lose the ability to deny requests. They must either a) fulfill them or b) ask someone else to do it. There are volunteers who take bad requests in exchange for compensation or exemption from law. Write about the life of a volunteer. | When President Trump mandated that the government legislate anything that was trending on social media the people of America felt that at last we could make this country great again.
First, marijuana became free and legal when “My M8 Dan’s Mint Idea for World Peace” Facebook page hit 10 million likes. Shortly afterwa... | He stood, clutching the pillow, the woman smiled up at him meekly.
"Didn't have the stones did she," the old woman exhaled.
"She did not, and I was running a two for one special," he smiled thinly, gripping the pillow.
"Two for one?" She cocked an eye brow and smiled. The soft chirp of her steady heartbeat rhythmi... | |
[WP] People lose the ability to deny requests. They must either a) fulfill them or b) ask someone else to do it. There are volunteers who take bad requests in exchange for compensation or exemption from law. Write about the life of a volunteer. | When President Trump mandated that the government legislate anything that was trending on social media the people of America felt that at last we could make this country great again.
First, marijuana became free and legal when “My M8 Dan’s Mint Idea for World Peace” Facebook page hit 10 million likes. Shortly afterwa... | "Have Sex with me." A dirty looking man says, smiling with yellowed teeth at the petite woman standing at the corner of the street. She glanced around but couldn't find anyone in sight. The woman gritted her teeth and spoke, "Fine, come with me." The man was practically giggling with joy; the society they lived in was ... | |
[WP] People lose the ability to deny requests. They must either a) fulfill them or b) ask someone else to do it. There are volunteers who take bad requests in exchange for compensation or exemption from law. Write about the life of a volunteer. | When President Trump mandated that the government legislate anything that was trending on social media the people of America felt that at last we could make this country great again.
First, marijuana became free and legal when “My M8 Dan’s Mint Idea for World Peace” Facebook page hit 10 million likes. Shortly afterwa... | I stooped down as I went through the motions of arching my back and positioning my weight onto my right leg. Slowly, painfully I loaded myself onto the beach chair on top of the balcony.
I had thought that with age would come some sort of grace or at least acceptance of the world, but the world after the event was st... | |
[WP] People lose the ability to deny requests. They must either a) fulfill them or b) ask someone else to do it. There are volunteers who take bad requests in exchange for compensation or exemption from law. Write about the life of a volunteer. | When Denial ended and Acceptance began most people I knew began to panic. The world is full of selfish bastards, so how could anyone possibly be expected to accept EVERY request of them? So many people went mad and offed themselves. I think the initial reports stated some 47% of the population disappeared within the fi... | Having built my career around taking notoriously nasty jobs, it was only inevitable that I would have something like this offered to me. The setup was simple: a small dart that would inject The President with a smaller dose of heart-stopping poison, and the machine built into every human's heart and lungs would take ov... | |
[WP] People lose the ability to deny requests. They must either a) fulfill them or b) ask someone else to do it. There are volunteers who take bad requests in exchange for compensation or exemption from law. Write about the life of a volunteer. | Hi, I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me! I was created with meaning and purpose. It was a simple task. I just needed to clean someone's home after a party. It was a little time-consuming, but I was happy to do it with the knowledge that I would greeted by sweet oblivion the moment it was over.
That moment came. I was so happ... | Having built my career around taking notoriously nasty jobs, it was only inevitable that I would have something like this offered to me. The setup was simple: a small dart that would inject The President with a smaller dose of heart-stopping poison, and the machine built into every human's heart and lungs would take ov... | |
[WP] People lose the ability to deny requests. They must either a) fulfill them or b) ask someone else to do it. There are volunteers who take bad requests in exchange for compensation or exemption from law. Write about the life of a volunteer. | Every starting volunteer gets a manual on "how to be a volunteer without dying" it had everything in it. The elephant in the room of course that the book mainly covers is how to handle being told phrases like "die" or "kill yourself" or "kill someone else". The book lists a different solution to each problem. For "die"... | Having built my career around taking notoriously nasty jobs, it was only inevitable that I would have something like this offered to me. The setup was simple: a small dart that would inject The President with a smaller dose of heart-stopping poison, and the machine built into every human's heart and lungs would take ov... | |
[WP] People lose the ability to deny requests. They must either a) fulfill them or b) ask someone else to do it. There are volunteers who take bad requests in exchange for compensation or exemption from law. Write about the life of a volunteer. | The Volunteer sat in the chair. The chair, in turn, sat in the centre of a clinical white room. He was one of the desperate ones, the ones who'd take on any request for the payout. Usually they were satisfying a drug addiction or craving, but some did it nobly. The man in the chair was among the latter type.
Tall, t... | Having built my career around taking notoriously nasty jobs, it was only inevitable that I would have something like this offered to me. The setup was simple: a small dart that would inject The President with a smaller dose of heart-stopping poison, and the machine built into every human's heart and lungs would take ov... | |
[WP] People lose the ability to deny requests. They must either a) fulfill them or b) ask someone else to do it. There are volunteers who take bad requests in exchange for compensation or exemption from law. Write about the life of a volunteer. | Every starting volunteer gets a manual on "how to be a volunteer without dying" it had everything in it. The elephant in the room of course that the book mainly covers is how to handle being told phrases like "die" or "kill yourself" or "kill someone else". The book lists a different solution to each problem. For "die"... | It hadn’t always been this difficult. At first, when we still had our denial at least somewhat active, people knew on some level what could reasonably be asked for from someone. Many still have this understanding, but not because they have the ability to deny, but because they know the feeling of fear associated with b... | |
[WP] People lose the ability to deny requests. They must either a) fulfill them or b) ask someone else to do it. There are volunteers who take bad requests in exchange for compensation or exemption from law. Write about the life of a volunteer. | The Volunteer sat in the chair. The chair, in turn, sat in the centre of a clinical white room. He was one of the desperate ones, the ones who'd take on any request for the payout. Usually they were satisfying a drug addiction or craving, but some did it nobly. The man in the chair was among the latter type.
Tall, t... | It hadn’t always been this difficult. At first, when we still had our denial at least somewhat active, people knew on some level what could reasonably be asked for from someone. Many still have this understanding, but not because they have the ability to deny, but because they know the feeling of fear associated with b... | |
[WP] People lose the ability to deny requests. They must either a) fulfill them or b) ask someone else to do it. There are volunteers who take bad requests in exchange for compensation or exemption from law. Write about the life of a volunteer. | This one came in from the top.
Level Presidential, and as soon as it came to me, I knew exactly that I was the only one that could do it any justice.
I have a very specific set of skills, skills that I have acquired over a *very long* career. No one I knew was capable of the acts I had committed, and being the botto... | It hadn’t always been this difficult. At first, when we still had our denial at least somewhat active, people knew on some level what could reasonably be asked for from someone. Many still have this understanding, but not because they have the ability to deny, but because they know the feeling of fear associated with b... | |
[WP] People lose the ability to deny requests. They must either a) fulfill them or b) ask someone else to do it. There are volunteers who take bad requests in exchange for compensation or exemption from law. Write about the life of a volunteer. | This one came in from the top.
Level Presidential, and as soon as it came to me, I knew exactly that I was the only one that could do it any justice.
I have a very specific set of skills, skills that I have acquired over a *very long* career. No one I knew was capable of the acts I had committed, and being the botto... | The job came with its pros and cons, just like any job did. I had entered into the agreement with Ms Geraltson ten years ago, just as her movie career was taking off and she was voted sexiest woman alive. It was about then all the requests from the crazies of the world began to flow in, all of them wanting to fuck her ... | |
[WP] People lose the ability to deny requests. They must either a) fulfill them or b) ask someone else to do it. There are volunteers who take bad requests in exchange for compensation or exemption from law. Write about the life of a volunteer. | "We've got a code red. I repeat, a *code red*."
The voice screeched over the intercom at the Solicitation Station, sirens sounding and flashing lights bathing the Volunteers in red. With urgency we strapped on our boots, fireproof trousers, helmets, utility belts, and communication gear, before sliding down the po... | The job came with its pros and cons, just like any job did. I had entered into the agreement with Ms Geraltson ten years ago, just as her movie career was taking off and she was voted sexiest woman alive. It was about then all the requests from the crazies of the world began to flow in, all of them wanting to fuck her ... | |
[WP] People lose the ability to deny requests. They must either a) fulfill them or b) ask someone else to do it. There are volunteers who take bad requests in exchange for compensation or exemption from law. Write about the life of a volunteer. | Welcome. I understand you wanted to see a sample of my work before we get down to business. Take a look at this transcript;
--------------------------------
"That'll be $600."
"You're kidding. Just for a favor this small?"
"Bud, don't bullshit me. You came to me because you can't do the favor yourself."
"Th... | The job came with its pros and cons, just like any job did. I had entered into the agreement with Ms Geraltson ten years ago, just as her movie career was taking off and she was voted sexiest woman alive. It was about then all the requests from the crazies of the world began to flow in, all of them wanting to fuck her ... | |
[WP] People lose the ability to deny requests. They must either a) fulfill them or b) ask someone else to do it. There are volunteers who take bad requests in exchange for compensation or exemption from law. Write about the life of a volunteer. | Some people make requests that cannot, or should not, be made. Many people were asked to do things that they would prefer to avoid. The police wanted them to avoid these tasks as well so an agreement was made. People can come into our office and pass requests onto them such as "Go kill yourself", "Give me your money", ... | The job came with its pros and cons, just like any job did. I had entered into the agreement with Ms Geraltson ten years ago, just as her movie career was taking off and she was voted sexiest woman alive. It was about then all the requests from the crazies of the world began to flow in, all of them wanting to fuck her ... | |
[WP] People lose the ability to deny requests. They must either a) fulfill them or b) ask someone else to do it. There are volunteers who take bad requests in exchange for compensation or exemption from law. Write about the life of a volunteer. | Welcome. I understand you wanted to see a sample of my work before we get down to business. Take a look at this transcript;
--------------------------------
"That'll be $600."
"You're kidding. Just for a favor this small?"
"Bud, don't bullshit me. You came to me because you can't do the favor yourself."
"Th... | "We've got a code red. I repeat, a *code red*."
The voice screeched over the intercom at the Solicitation Station, sirens sounding and flashing lights bathing the Volunteers in red. With urgency we strapped on our boots, fireproof trousers, helmets, utility belts, and communication gear, before sliding down the po... | |
[WP] A group of friends playing Dungeons & Dragons attempt to use the game to subtly stage an intervention for one of the players. | Leigh's dice are weighted. But no one has seemed to notice yet. Her pulse is vivid. She is liquid with the tempo of the music subtly playing in the background. A mixture of guitar and primal drums echo off the tall ceilings and makes her skin crawl as she grips her unfathomable dice.
"That will be a five action point... | The d20 rolled 16 and Max Bunting jolted a little in his seat; he knew he had hit the ogre.
The Dungeon Master, behind his screen and various notepads, looked down.
"It seems you've hit, Max."
Max looked ahead at the character sheet ahead of him.
"I strike the flayed beast again, my magical daikatana rippling thro... | |
[WP] A group of friends playing Dungeons & Dragons attempt to use the game to subtly stage an intervention for one of the players. | As the group settles around the table, Jim the DM rehashes the adventures from the week before, "After defeating the white dragon Whyfdor, you triumphantly return to the dwarven village, dragging it's ravaged corpse through the town square. Signs of life begin coming back to town, years of living under the shadow of t... | The d20 rolled 16 and Max Bunting jolted a little in his seat; he knew he had hit the ogre.
The Dungeon Master, behind his screen and various notepads, looked down.
"It seems you've hit, Max."
Max looked ahead at the character sheet ahead of him.
"I strike the flayed beast again, my magical daikatana rippling thro... | |
[WP] A group of friends playing Dungeons & Dragons attempt to use the game to subtly stage an intervention for one of the players. | As the group settles around the table, Jim the DM rehashes the adventures from the week before, "After defeating the white dragon Whyfdor, you triumphantly return to the dwarven village, dragging it's ravaged corpse through the town square. Signs of life begin coming back to town, years of living under the shadow of t... | “Are you sure he's going to show up? He hasn't joined our game since...”
“Don't say it. Don't even think about it. We've got the adventure set up perfectly, but it won't work if anyone tries to guide things because of what he's...”
“DON'T SAY IT!”
“Yeah, don't even think about it.”
“Gold. What an idiot. How can a... | |
[WP] A group of friends playing Dungeons & Dragons attempt to use the game to subtly stage an intervention for one of the players. | Cast:
Tom, an alcoholic
Frank, Tom's younger brother by a year
Amy, Tom's wife
Jake, a friend that got them into D&D
Michelle, a friend
Alan, a friend
The cast's D&D characters:
Tom - Level 10 Cleric (Lawful Good)
Frank - Level 9 Paladin (Lawful Good)
Amy - Level 11 Sorceress (Chaotic Good)
Jake - GM... | Turned out to be not really subtle, but here's my first go at one of these prompts; Also apologies on formatting.;;
“You must roll a twelve or higher in order to beat the dragon!”
Mowgli excitedly spoke as he set his eyes upon Darwin who sat across the table. Darwin seemed to take his time in trying to figure the di... | |
[WP] A group of friends playing Dungeons & Dragons attempt to use the game to subtly stage an intervention for one of the players. | *Ding.*
The hot pockets were done. Andrew pushed his chair back from the table, rose, and headed over to the microwave. While transferring them to the plate, he gasped suddenly. A hot pocket burn was one of the most common injuries for a DND player. He ran off to the bathroom for a bandage, and Marston groaned loudly... | Turned out to be not really subtle, but here's my first go at one of these prompts; Also apologies on formatting.;;
“You must roll a twelve or higher in order to beat the dragon!”
Mowgli excitedly spoke as he set his eyes upon Darwin who sat across the table. Darwin seemed to take his time in trying to figure the di... | |
[WP] A group of friends playing Dungeons & Dragons attempt to use the game to subtly stage an intervention for one of the players. | Cast:
Tom, an alcoholic
Frank, Tom's younger brother by a year
Amy, Tom's wife
Jake, a friend that got them into D&D
Michelle, a friend
Alan, a friend
The cast's D&D characters:
Tom - Level 10 Cleric (Lawful Good)
Frank - Level 9 Paladin (Lawful Good)
Amy - Level 11 Sorceress (Chaotic Good)
Jake - GM... | *You wake suddenly, parched and disheveled, and sit up quickly to take in your surroundings. Dusk has just fallen, and the crescent moon illuminates a dense forest opening in front of you. Crickets chirp and owls hoot in the distance. What do you do?*
"Well, I see a small lake in front of me, so I will go drink from i... | |
[WP] A group of friends playing Dungeons & Dragons attempt to use the game to subtly stage an intervention for one of the players. | *Ding.*
The hot pockets were done. Andrew pushed his chair back from the table, rose, and headed over to the microwave. While transferring them to the plate, he gasped suddenly. A hot pocket burn was one of the most common injuries for a DND player. He ran off to the bathroom for a bandage, and Marston groaned loudly... | *You wake suddenly, parched and disheveled, and sit up quickly to take in your surroundings. Dusk has just fallen, and the crescent moon illuminates a dense forest opening in front of you. Crickets chirp and owls hoot in the distance. What do you do?*
"Well, I see a small lake in front of me, so I will go drink from i... | |
[WP] A group of friends playing Dungeons & Dragons attempt to use the game to subtly stage an intervention for one of the players. | The four friends sat around the large table. Chris, the dungeon master, was one side. Tim, Catherine and Zak sat across from him.
"You find yourselves in a tiny village." he crooned. "It is dark and you are the only people on the street. You are engulfed by a troubled silence. There is a house in ramshackle condition ... | "Alright, I need to use the restroom." Sam said. Every moment of silence felt strained. Subtly wasn't one of our strong suits. At that moment I wished we had decided not to follow through with our plan.
Ron folded his arms on the table. I cringe expectantly. We had all agreed to do it. "If you spend more than five mi... | |
[WP] This year you went all out on your Demon Halloween costume. While bar hopping downtown another guy in a very realistic demon costume invites you to a private demon themed party, you soon come to realize they are not costumes. | "Hey bub, this way," whispered a short and rather portly man dressed in an impeccable demon costume. The material was so well made that it glistened under the streetlamp as if it was legitimately sweaty skin. Maybe it was just body paint. The tail was also a nice touch.
I really enjoyed dressing up for Halloween. Last... | A costume of contumely, demon pacts;
A circle used for summoning with hell
At center, dressed in black and purple tracts,
In midst of being pulled from other realm.
Apparently, my suit is more convincing
Than first I thought, because a shade has bought
A drink for me and then pressed on inviting
Me to a... | |
[WP] This year you went all out on your Demon Halloween costume. While bar hopping downtown another guy in a very realistic demon costume invites you to a private demon themed party, you soon come to realize they are not costumes. | *WOW. And here I was thinking that MY costume was impressive! These guys went ALL OUT!* I thought to myself as I wove through the crowd of scales and wings. Red, black, blue, eyestalks, horns, tails...every different body type imaginable was packed together like sardines in a can.
*This is FANTASTIC!* I grinned from... | A costume of contumely, demon pacts;
A circle used for summoning with hell
At center, dressed in black and purple tracts,
In midst of being pulled from other realm.
Apparently, my suit is more convincing
Than first I thought, because a shade has bought
A drink for me and then pressed on inviting
Me to a... | |
[WP] To your surprise, she's crying. | She chatters away aimlessly and you listen half-heartedly, her words going in one ear, out the other. Your foot taps against the floor nervously, your hands shake in your lap, you can feel the sweat running down the back of your neck-
Pause.
You take a breath.
Then, you place a shaky hand on her thigh and she stops... | "*Hey, hey...*what's wrong?"
He squeezed her briefly and her wet eyes peeked out from between her fingers,
"I don't know."
He pulled her closer, and she closed her eyes when he kissed them; he felt her squeeze back a little, seeming to relax.
There was a long quiet moment spent in each other's arms, until he spoke,... |
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