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[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | Ander stood shackled to a post in the middle of the courtroom, tuning his ears for the sentence that would decide his life.
It was hard to see, the walls made entirely of stone- ebonite, as dark as the night of a new moon- and was only lit by sparse torches burning a deep red. As such, Ander’s best bet was to just wai... | Rupert had a tattoo, long hair, and seemingly permanent eye liner. This made him the 'Bad Prince' in a society that was much too nice for it's own good. Everyone had their opinion on the him but he never payed them any mind. He figured he would resurrect the art of heavy metal and had been working for a few years to ge... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | "There, you each get half of a child" I said with a mirthful grin, spreading my fingers as I leaned back and eyed my victims.
"So...we can adopt?" Said Merigille, the fishwife.
"Yes, you have to share a squalling pile of human filth" I said with a leer, my heart nearly burst with their misfortune.
"Oh thank the nine!" ... | Rupert had a tattoo, long hair, and seemingly permanent eye liner. This made him the 'Bad Prince' in a society that was much too nice for it's own good. Everyone had their opinion on the him but he never payed them any mind. He figured he would resurrect the art of heavy metal and had been working for a few years to ge... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | I stared down at the men levelling their blades at me. I spied several of the palace guard amidst the swelling ranks in my throne room. I turned to my head guard for assistance and was met his sword leveled at me.
"Really Hector? A coup? How bold." I smiled blithely down the blade before turning back to the crowd. "An... | Rupert had a tattoo, long hair, and seemingly permanent eye liner. This made him the 'Bad Prince' in a society that was much too nice for it's own good. Everyone had their opinion on the him but he never payed them any mind. He figured he would resurrect the art of heavy metal and had been working for a few years to ge... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | "Litch king! You will secede from your ill gotten empire of face your end!" The man yelled, drawing his sword and book as he entered the council chambers. "For we have conjured light magic beyond comprehension!"
Arieanna seethed in anger as she went for her sword. I lifted my hand to stop her. "Council, we'll reconven... | Rupert had a tattoo, long hair, and seemingly permanent eye liner. This made him the 'Bad Prince' in a society that was much too nice for it's own good. Everyone had their opinion on the him but he never payed them any mind. He figured he would resurrect the art of heavy metal and had been working for a few years to ge... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | The door crashed opened as the frame around it disintegrated into kindling. The fur-clad boot that had kicked it open landed with a meaty thud on the stone floors inside the chamber. The wild-eyed warrior held his knicked and scarred blade in front of him as he strode into the room high atop the tallest tower.
"It was... | Rupert had a tattoo, long hair, and seemingly permanent eye liner. This made him the 'Bad Prince' in a society that was much too nice for it's own good. Everyone had their opinion on the him but he never payed them any mind. He figured he would resurrect the art of heavy metal and had been working for a few years to ge... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | "Honey, are you sure about this place?" Miriam looked askance at her husband.
"Of course. Look at the city. It's bustling and they need a good swift food establishment. We'll make good money and live a good life." Vance replied patting her arm soothingly.
"I know dear. It's just. Well this place...something about i... | Rupert had a tattoo, long hair, and seemingly permanent eye liner. This made him the 'Bad Prince' in a society that was much too nice for it's own good. Everyone had their opinion on the him but he never payed them any mind. He figured he would resurrect the art of heavy metal and had been working for a few years to ge... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | The sound of heavy hooves striking the dirt-covered road filled the woods as I approached the town. I was, of course, flanked by the undead wraiths riding beside me but alas, I considered their company annoying.
'Could we not have handled this for you, my lord?' the creature asked, although it sounded more akin to a h... | Rupert had a tattoo, long hair, and seemingly permanent eye liner. This made him the 'Bad Prince' in a society that was much too nice for it's own good. Everyone had their opinion on the him but he never payed them any mind. He figured he would resurrect the art of heavy metal and had been working for a few years to ge... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | Green grass cropped short wiggled in the summer wind. Rosy children in a ring sang a rhyme of a ruler, "just and wise, or just wide". An optimistic din brightened every note, every breath.
As cheers erupted in the distance, their parents appeared, scooping up their children and carrying them to the source of comm... | Ahhh. The perks of being a Dark Lord. Well, Lady, in Ashara's case. After a long day of politicking, it was nice to be able to just sit up here in her solar with a book and nice glass of wine.
And then she heard the panicked, running footsteps. She sighed, carefully marked her page in the book, and set it down carefu... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | I stared down at the men levelling their blades at me. I spied several of the palace guard amidst the swelling ranks in my throne room. I turned to my head guard for assistance and was met his sword leveled at me.
"Really Hector? A coup? How bold." I smiled blithely down the blade before turning back to the crowd. "An... | Ahhh. The perks of being a Dark Lord. Well, Lady, in Ashara's case. After a long day of politicking, it was nice to be able to just sit up here in her solar with a book and nice glass of wine.
And then she heard the panicked, running footsteps. She sighed, carefully marked her page in the book, and set it down carefu... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | I stared down at the men levelling their blades at me. I spied several of the palace guard amidst the swelling ranks in my throne room. I turned to my head guard for assistance and was met his sword leveled at me.
"Really Hector? A coup? How bold." I smiled blithely down the blade before turning back to the crowd. "An... | *Be loved by a few but be feared by the many.* This is the maxim that had preserved the Mitgard rule for generations. To build an inner circle of the most powerful lords by fostering their love for you while inspiring fear in the many who follow.
A heavy silence smothers the crowd as their tyrant king descends on the... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | I stared down at the men levelling their blades at me. I spied several of the palace guard amidst the swelling ranks in my throne room. I turned to my head guard for assistance and was met his sword leveled at me.
"Really Hector? A coup? How bold." I smiled blithely down the blade before turning back to the crowd. "An... | Green grass cropped short wiggled in the summer wind. Rosy children in a ring sang a rhyme of a ruler, "just and wise, or just wide". An optimistic din brightened every note, every breath.
As cheers erupted in the distance, their parents appeared, scooping up their children and carrying them to the source of comm... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | I stared down at the men levelling their blades at me. I spied several of the palace guard amidst the swelling ranks in my throne room. I turned to my head guard for assistance and was met his sword leveled at me.
"Really Hector? A coup? How bold." I smiled blithely down the blade before turning back to the crowd. "An... | Ander stood shackled to a post in the middle of the courtroom, tuning his ears for the sentence that would decide his life.
It was hard to see, the walls made entirely of stone- ebonite, as dark as the night of a new moon- and was only lit by sparse torches burning a deep red. As such, Ander’s best bet was to just wai... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | The door crashed opened as the frame around it disintegrated into kindling. The fur-clad boot that had kicked it open landed with a meaty thud on the stone floors inside the chamber. The wild-eyed warrior held his knicked and scarred blade in front of him as he strode into the room high atop the tallest tower.
"It was... | Ander stood shackled to a post in the middle of the courtroom, tuning his ears for the sentence that would decide his life.
It was hard to see, the walls made entirely of stone- ebonite, as dark as the night of a new moon- and was only lit by sparse torches burning a deep red. As such, Ander’s best bet was to just wai... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | I stared down at the men levelling their blades at me. I spied several of the palace guard amidst the swelling ranks in my throne room. I turned to my head guard for assistance and was met his sword leveled at me.
"Really Hector? A coup? How bold." I smiled blithely down the blade before turning back to the crowd. "An... | "There, you each get half of a child" I said with a mirthful grin, spreading my fingers as I leaned back and eyed my victims.
"So...we can adopt?" Said Merigille, the fishwife.
"Yes, you have to share a squalling pile of human filth" I said with a leer, my heart nearly burst with their misfortune.
"Oh thank the nine!" ... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | "Litch king! You will secede from your ill gotten empire of face your end!" The man yelled, drawing his sword and book as he entered the council chambers. "For we have conjured light magic beyond comprehension!"
Arieanna seethed in anger as she went for her sword. I lifted my hand to stop her. "Council, we'll reconven... | "There, you each get half of a child" I said with a mirthful grin, spreading my fingers as I leaned back and eyed my victims.
"So...we can adopt?" Said Merigille, the fishwife.
"Yes, you have to share a squalling pile of human filth" I said with a leer, my heart nearly burst with their misfortune.
"Oh thank the nine!" ... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | The door crashed opened as the frame around it disintegrated into kindling. The fur-clad boot that had kicked it open landed with a meaty thud on the stone floors inside the chamber. The wild-eyed warrior held his knicked and scarred blade in front of him as he strode into the room high atop the tallest tower.
"It was... | "There, you each get half of a child" I said with a mirthful grin, spreading my fingers as I leaned back and eyed my victims.
"So...we can adopt?" Said Merigille, the fishwife.
"Yes, you have to share a squalling pile of human filth" I said with a leer, my heart nearly burst with their misfortune.
"Oh thank the nine!" ... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | "Honey, are you sure about this place?" Miriam looked askance at her husband.
"Of course. Look at the city. It's bustling and they need a good swift food establishment. We'll make good money and live a good life." Vance replied patting her arm soothingly.
"I know dear. It's just. Well this place...something about i... | "There, you each get half of a child" I said with a mirthful grin, spreading my fingers as I leaned back and eyed my victims.
"So...we can adopt?" Said Merigille, the fishwife.
"Yes, you have to share a squalling pile of human filth" I said with a leer, my heart nearly burst with their misfortune.
"Oh thank the nine!" ... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | The sound of heavy hooves striking the dirt-covered road filled the woods as I approached the town. I was, of course, flanked by the undead wraiths riding beside me but alas, I considered their company annoying.
'Could we not have handled this for you, my lord?' the creature asked, although it sounded more akin to a h... | "There, you each get half of a child" I said with a mirthful grin, spreading my fingers as I leaned back and eyed my victims.
"So...we can adopt?" Said Merigille, the fishwife.
"Yes, you have to share a squalling pile of human filth" I said with a leer, my heart nearly burst with their misfortune.
"Oh thank the nine!" ... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | I stared down at the men levelling their blades at me. I spied several of the palace guard amidst the swelling ranks in my throne room. I turned to my head guard for assistance and was met his sword leveled at me.
"Really Hector? A coup? How bold." I smiled blithely down the blade before turning back to the crowd. "An... | From my granite balcony I surveyed the depths of my domain. The sky was a bloody orange, flecked with clouds and the rising smoke of burning buildings. People, the size of ants, were torching statues and government buildings, the legacy of my rule. I turned around.
‘Why did you have to do all of this?’, the Hero said... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | "Litch king! You will secede from your ill gotten empire of face your end!" The man yelled, drawing his sword and book as he entered the council chambers. "For we have conjured light magic beyond comprehension!"
Arieanna seethed in anger as she went for her sword. I lifted my hand to stop her. "Council, we'll reconven... | From my granite balcony I surveyed the depths of my domain. The sky was a bloody orange, flecked with clouds and the rising smoke of burning buildings. People, the size of ants, were torching statues and government buildings, the legacy of my rule. I turned around.
‘Why did you have to do all of this?’, the Hero said... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | The door crashed opened as the frame around it disintegrated into kindling. The fur-clad boot that had kicked it open landed with a meaty thud on the stone floors inside the chamber. The wild-eyed warrior held his knicked and scarred blade in front of him as he strode into the room high atop the tallest tower.
"It was... | From my granite balcony I surveyed the depths of my domain. The sky was a bloody orange, flecked with clouds and the rising smoke of burning buildings. People, the size of ants, were torching statues and government buildings, the legacy of my rule. I turned around.
‘Why did you have to do all of this?’, the Hero said... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | "Honey, are you sure about this place?" Miriam looked askance at her husband.
"Of course. Look at the city. It's bustling and they need a good swift food establishment. We'll make good money and live a good life." Vance replied patting her arm soothingly.
"I know dear. It's just. Well this place...something about i... | From my granite balcony I surveyed the depths of my domain. The sky was a bloody orange, flecked with clouds and the rising smoke of burning buildings. People, the size of ants, were torching statues and government buildings, the legacy of my rule. I turned around.
‘Why did you have to do all of this?’, the Hero said... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | *It's loud.*
Murmur sounds outside my castle. I groggily opened my pocket sundial. *It's only 7. What's with the commotion with these people? Shall I have Remilia reminds them of the rules?*
"開," I said with a sigh, disliking when people disturb my beauty sleep. Immediately, a small cloud appeared in front of me, all... | From my granite balcony I surveyed the depths of my domain. The sky was a bloody orange, flecked with clouds and the rising smoke of burning buildings. People, the size of ants, were torching statues and government buildings, the legacy of my rule. I turned around.
‘Why did you have to do all of this?’, the Hero said... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | The sound of heavy hooves striking the dirt-covered road filled the woods as I approached the town. I was, of course, flanked by the undead wraiths riding beside me but alas, I considered their company annoying.
'Could we not have handled this for you, my lord?' the creature asked, although it sounded more akin to a h... | From my granite balcony I surveyed the depths of my domain. The sky was a bloody orange, flecked with clouds and the rising smoke of burning buildings. People, the size of ants, were torching statues and government buildings, the legacy of my rule. I turned around.
‘Why did you have to do all of this?’, the Hero said... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | "But it's not fair!" screamed the merchant. "I should be allowed to charge whatever I want to! It's my stuff!" The rotund man by this point was very red in the face, almost the color of a ripe apple. He breathed heavily, his bulging chest straining against the buttons of his fashionable coat. Unfortunately, fashion usu... | From my granite balcony I surveyed the depths of my domain. The sky was a bloody orange, flecked with clouds and the rising smoke of burning buildings. People, the size of ants, were torching statues and government buildings, the legacy of my rule. I turned around.
‘Why did you have to do all of this?’, the Hero said... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | The door crashed opened as the frame around it disintegrated into kindling. The fur-clad boot that had kicked it open landed with a meaty thud on the stone floors inside the chamber. The wild-eyed warrior held his knicked and scarred blade in front of him as he strode into the room high atop the tallest tower.
"It was... | "Litch king! You will secede from your ill gotten empire of face your end!" The man yelled, drawing his sword and book as he entered the council chambers. "For we have conjured light magic beyond comprehension!"
Arieanna seethed in anger as she went for her sword. I lifted my hand to stop her. "Council, we'll reconven... | |
[WP] You are the dark lord in a fantasy world however you rule a fair and just kingdom you just like to look evil while doing it. | The sound of heavy hooves striking the dirt-covered road filled the woods as I approached the town. I was, of course, flanked by the undead wraiths riding beside me but alas, I considered their company annoying.
'Could we not have handled this for you, my lord?' the creature asked, although it sounded more akin to a h... | *It's loud.*
Murmur sounds outside my castle. I groggily opened my pocket sundial. *It's only 7. What's with the commotion with these people? Shall I have Remilia reminds them of the rules?*
"開," I said with a sigh, disliking when people disturb my beauty sleep. Immediately, a small cloud appeared in front of me, all... | |
[WP] When you die, all your magic is released. When a great mage dies, great care is taken to manage this. Unfortunately, sometimes people die unexpectedly. | It's quite like compressing air into a balloon, they always explain to children.
Mages are full of magic, but that magic must return to the universe once the mage has expired.
For some, that means that their death results in a peaceful one, with their magic dribbling into the earth around them, causing barren stone t... | There is a moment in your life when you come to realise your calling in this world. I was fortunate that mine came early.
Grandpa was the head of a great many wizards. He would enter the room and conversations would be hushed. We all had a desire to hear what he had to say.
He never did like me, and he said it clea... | |
[WP] Your Reddit app is actually linked to an alternate universe, so you've been interacting with that reality, not ours. You've never realized it because that universe is so similar to ours. After two years on the app, though, you start to realize that something is... off. | For a while I thought it was all just an elaborate troll, I mean honestly, how could anyone really believe that nonsense? Not a single one of my friends believed it, but had all experienced for themselves the whirlwind of propaganda on Reddit. But not a single one of us could find a true believer outside the Reddit com... | I stared blankly at the screen, taking in what I had just read. Hundreds of comments. Hundreds.
This all started a few months ago. I had kept hearing of a website named reddit. I didn't join because I heard that it was pretty lame, but my friends kept bugging me. I finally caved and downloaded the app. I registered a... | |
[WP] Your Reddit app is actually linked to an alternate universe, so you've been interacting with that reality, not ours. You've never realized it because that universe is so similar to ours. After two years on the app, though, you start to realize that something is... off. | I'm quite unsure of how this all is happening. Somehow, someway, my Reddit app on my phone is showing me posts from what seems to be an alternate universe. I've been using the Reddit app for over 2 years now. And up until a couple days ago, I never noticed anything amiss. But then I noticed something odd.
I was readin... | I stared blankly at the screen, taking in what I had just read. Hundreds of comments. Hundreds.
This all started a few months ago. I had kept hearing of a website named reddit. I didn't join because I heard that it was pretty lame, but my friends kept bugging me. I finally caved and downloaded the app. I registered a... | |
[WP] Your Reddit app is actually linked to an alternate universe, so you've been interacting with that reality, not ours. You've never realized it because that universe is so similar to ours. After two years on the app, though, you start to realize that something is... off. | I'm quite unsure of how this all is happening. Somehow, someway, my Reddit app on my phone is showing me posts from what seems to be an alternate universe. I've been using the Reddit app for over 2 years now. And up until a couple days ago, I never noticed anything amiss. But then I noticed something odd.
I was readin... | I've been riding pretty high since the election. A bunch of people I know are sad and miserable, but myself, and the rest of /r/The_Donald couldn't be happier.
Crooked Hillary was defeated, President Donald J. Trump was in office. Kek smiled upon us, and the memes flowed like the tears of Liberals.
Still I couldn't s... | |
[WP] Where were you when the ship crashed? | "Where were you when the ship crashed?"
"Sleeping"
"Alone?"
"No, um, I was with my husband. My daughter was in the room next to ours"
"Can you describe what you saw for us? Strange lights, noises, anything at all"
"No, nothing like that. I just..."
"Yes?"
"I just woke up in the middle of the night, and I had thi... | Captain, oh Captain, where did you go? Into the lifeboats, and away you did row.
Captain, oh captain, why did you flee? Your job was to save us, it was your responsibility.
Captain, oh captain, when we survived, did you think your crew would forget, just get on with our lives?
Captain, oh captain, this i... | |
[WP] By accident you made yourself immortal while you were drunk. Yesterday you got an invitation to a cocktail party to meetother immortals and eternal beings. | I still want to die. That much vodka and that many tablets and I'm eventually invited to an immortal party? Great. Thank you, kind Lord up there-- whatever.
Well since hanging, stabbing, gunshots, explosions and straight up jumping-in-front-of-train didn't work, I suppose I will go to the party. Maybe someone knows a... | I woke up on my bathroom floor with that nice crusty vomit stuff on the corners of my mouth. "The fuck happened last night?" I get up and hobble over out the door and to the couch. I nearly vomited again when I smelled the gin on the coffee table. I look back at the bathroom and I see a bullet hole on the wall. I rush ... | |
[WP] By accident you made yourself immortal while you were drunk. Yesterday you got an invitation to a cocktail party to meetother immortals and eternal beings. | I had absolutely no idea how I ended up immortal but it was true, I was no longer able to die. Which is kind of a good thing as my wife had shoved me off the side of a cliff to collect on the life insurance policy I had. I even caught it on my GoPro.
I had proven her attempted murder of myself and had filed for divorc... | I woke up on my bathroom floor with that nice crusty vomit stuff on the corners of my mouth. "The fuck happened last night?" I get up and hobble over out the door and to the couch. I nearly vomited again when I smelled the gin on the coffee table. I look back at the bathroom and I see a bullet hole on the wall. I rush ... | |
[WP] Humans have amazing filtration systems in their bodies. We drink poisons and intake smoke as hobbies that would kill other aliens/species with a single sip or inhale. | The Linisans began their invasion of Earth because of a single misunderstanding. A single mistake.
History has mostly glossed over the little details like this one, but I think we ought to learn from our mistakes. So I managed to track down the source of the entire mess.
A pub.
I walked in and sat at the bar. The ba... | But nothing Stephen's body could do would stop the trip he was about to go on.
"Damnit, Steph, what the hell did you do?" Kara yelled from the doorway as Stephen fell to the floor, gripped by the drug's temporary paralyzing effects.
"I...I...I..." Stephen could barely manage a few words before being overtaken by a sn... | |
[WP] Humans have amazing filtration systems in their bodies. We drink poisons and intake smoke as hobbies that would kill other aliens/species with a single sip or inhale. | “Caffeine?” Zorbrox asked.
“Are you crazy? It’s a stimulant to them. Winds them up into a frenzy, you’d be fighting hyperactive mammals with nukes.” Gorinth exclaimed.
Gorinth and Zorbrox were sitting in a small room on Central, the capital planet of the Hegemony in the bureaucratic archive. They had been tasked w... | But nothing Stephen's body could do would stop the trip he was about to go on.
"Damnit, Steph, what the hell did you do?" Kara yelled from the doorway as Stephen fell to the floor, gripped by the drug's temporary paralyzing effects.
"I...I...I..." Stephen could barely manage a few words before being overtaken by a sn... | |
[WP] Humans have amazing filtration systems in their bodies. We drink poisons and intake smoke as hobbies that would kill other aliens/species with a single sip or inhale. | “Caffeine?” Zorbrox asked.
“Are you crazy? It’s a stimulant to them. Winds them up into a frenzy, you’d be fighting hyperactive mammals with nukes.” Gorinth exclaimed.
Gorinth and Zorbrox were sitting in a small room on Central, the capital planet of the Hegemony in the bureaucratic archive. They had been tasked w... | The Linisans began their invasion of Earth because of a single misunderstanding. A single mistake.
History has mostly glossed over the little details like this one, but I think we ought to learn from our mistakes. So I managed to track down the source of the entire mess.
A pub.
I walked in and sat at the bar. The ba... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. |
I apologize. I must say that before any other things are spoken of. There are things that you regret, and choices that you look back on as poor. That they maybe had a semblance of sin or malovence in them.
I... I will attempt to pen my thoughts on the situation that has befallen me.
The darkness came without warn... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | It was a big day in Hell.
It's first resident was about to arrive.
Satan, had been waiting for eons for someone to arrive. And eons passed. But noone arrived.
So, as it's expected, he became more of a slob around there. Started not cleaning up, not filling up with lava the lava pits, not providing with oxygen the fi... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | "It wasn't the first, second, or even the third child you gave her then caused her to lose. It wasn't that you mistreated her, abused her, or caused her such extensive grief. It wasn't that you never kept or maintained any love that didn't go out of its way to be in your life.
It was that once those around you grew st... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | The cathedral was empty and dusty, almost like an empty tomb. Faint light filtered in through windows far above, creating a menacing mix of shifting shadows. Before him was laid out a path, passing between columns rising far above. Statues lined the stone path, figures of both immeasurable beauty and horrific terror.
... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | They were right about one thing. The sign at the gate really did say "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here." Other than that, Hell was nothing like I imagined.
When I stepped in, it was not crowded. I saw shapes shambling along, all naked. Every time one of them would catch each other's eyes, they would look away and r... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | It takes a moment for me to notice the clapping. I can't hear it, not over the roar of hellfire all around me. It burns with a sonorous crackle with a high pitch that shouldn't be possible, and it's too loud, too close to my ears for how far away the flames are, far enough that I haven't started burning.
But I can see... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | I saw him, the amalgamation of all that was evil. His fire stricken gaze pierced through me. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, he turned in my direction and laughed *hysterically*.
"Hell-oh and welcome to my home, toilets are on the left, beds on the right and beers are in the fridge." Satan spoke almost gleefully. A... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | The last thing I remember was the truck ramming into my drivers side door, a searing pain, and then I woke up in possibly the most posh living room I'd ever seen. It was almost entirely made up of red and pink colors, with some black accents. Everything was sleek, modern, perfectly neat and tidy.
A small man with lar... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | "A PUPPY Holocaust?" Beelzebub spat, "How the hell... How did you even... I mean, I thought it was hilarious when Hitler tricked all those people into thinking the Jews were responsible for all the world's problems, but at least that was theoretically possible. You, though, you did it... with innocent baby dogs? I just... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | The chains rattled as the frozen metal dragged along a large sheet of ice before you. You stood amongst an infinite span of frozen lake in front of a titanic mass of darkness and chilling void. Two red eyes dragged trails of light that resembled brake lights in the night as the figures head swayed gently as it breathed... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | "I don't understand it!" Satan exclaimed. "You've done no wrong all your life, you never even swatted a mosquito!"
"I don't get it either." I replied. "I can't think of anything that could have gotten me sent down here-"
"Waitamoment...." Satan interrupted. "I think I know what did it...Yep, you did the simplest, yet... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | Hell? I was in... Hell? I couldn't remember the moments prior to my death, but I could remember the rest of my life: I didn't think I'd end up in Hell. I really didn't. What did I do wrong? I had to know. I had to.
He was still clapping. He looked... Happy. Not evil happy like you expect the Devil - was he the Devil? ... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | The smell on the walls burned my lungs as I drew in a breath. It was warmer than I cared for so I removed my coat and hung it on the rack to my right. A figure sat in an iron throne laden with rubies the size of my closed fist; naked women with bat-like wings, masterfully sculpted, supported each armrest. The figures e... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | As Satan stood up from his throne, he began clapping and laughing as hard as he could.
"Congratulations on being the first person to make it to hell. You are the first person to make it to hell. Billion upon billions have managed to make it to heaven even those who are considered to be the worst humanity has to offer... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | I was awakened by a slow drip of water on my forehead, which decended towards my temples in either side. Pain and burning flesh was my next conscious thought as I realized that it wasn't water but rather some sort of acid that rose me out of my death dream. I scrambled to my feet quickly as another drop was being affec... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | It was the slow clap that was the most annoying. When I arrived, he was just standing there with a big grin slow clapping. This was definitely Hell.
"I've been waiting a long time for this moment."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah." Then with a flourish, he struck a pose that looked vaguely similar to any Indian Bollywood movie cov... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | "I expected quite few more souls packed in here when we started developing the place," Satan chuckled as I approached slowly. "But as you can see, its a ghost town."
I suspect He had rehearsed that last line for quite some time.
"But really, any day now they will come pouring in, and we won't have room for them all,... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | "What do you mean, I'm the *only* one? That's impossible!"
"Apparently not", Satan answered, grinning slightly in his immaculately tailored suit. "All you had to do was *try*. Couldn't even manage that, could you? Grace is, dare I say, a hell of a thing, but you've managed to be the one screwup who couldn't qualify."... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | "Finally, someone worthy!" he exclaims.
I recover from the confusion of suddenly having been transported by an other-worldly force to this unfamiliar place. The presence of a being who looks to be Satan gives me the cue that I am, indeed, dead, and that this may be hell.
"Is this... hell?"
"It sure is buddy", Sata... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | I've been in Hell for less than 5 minutes and I'm already going mad. I've walked the length and width of this tiny island 3 times and found no sign of life or purpose anywhere. Is this my punishment, to spend eternity isolated from everything with no explanation? I tried jumping off the island into the darkness, but I ... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | I woke to the sensation of smooth stone on my bare skin. I sat up drowsily, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and trying to make sense of what happened. Last I remembered, I was composing a brief when I felt an intense pain in my chest, then... nothing. A heart attack?
Wherever I was now, it certainly wasn't a hospital.... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | Exhaustion was the only thing I could feel. The last 3, well, 5--no really, 7 years had been all about other people and lately it had been a complete shitfest. I never took any me-time, and I had paid for it in the end. But I always told myself "eh, I'll sleep when I'm dead".
My first experience of being dead was sitt... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | "Welcome!, this is truly impressive, no one has ever been sent here before." The devil gives me an enthusiastic round of applause.
"Wait... so there's no one else here?, that's not good. How am I to pass the time?"
"Well I'm here obviously as the ruler of this place, not that there's been much to do until now." The... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | "Wakey wakey" snarled a voice, breaking up an eternity of silence. "I am just *dying* to hear your story"
I opened my eyes slowly, and my vision filled up with red. Red clouds swirled through a yellow sky, red sand stretched for endless miles in every direction, and red mountains jutted into the horizon in the distanc... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | Cold claps rumbled and rippled through the red, cracked ground. For the first time in a long time, I was almost alone. Where I had come from, loneliness wasn't allowed.
He stood there in all his dark majesty and wore a look I had seen before. I had seen it many times: he was shocked. Hidden in his broken eyes was ano... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | The bright light starts to fade as I unshield my eyes to appear in a white void. There's a glossy white floor, and a dirty white colored degrading building. Other than that, it's just a void of white.
"Wow, heaven looks pretty boring."
You enter the building and go to the reception where you see someone sleeping, but... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | "Where am I?"
"Why, Hell of course!"
"Hey, it's not too bad. I was expecting a...."
"A lake of fire? Haha, no this is it. Just you and me. And nothing else."
I'm a little relieved. I hadn't lived the best life. I was expecting a fiery lake of fire but this, this isn't too bad. Just emptiness all around.
I look aro... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | I entered Hell whistling merrily.
I don't think I could call this a surprise. I'm a downright horrible bastard. "You think they'd hire you?" I wondered to myself. "It sure beats getting tortured for all eternity."
"That does sound nice," I agreed. "It might be nice to spend all of eternity with a job at least, a cal... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | "Dibs." I cried out over the Devil's clapping and laughter. He didn't seem to hear me, so I screamed it again. "**Dibs!**"
The Devil stopped and looked at me. "What do you mean 'dibs'?" He blinked, a little confused by my reaction.
I looked around the vast vastness of Hell before turning to Lucifer once more. "Well, ... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | A voice boomed, "Kneel, mortal."
I was dazed, and more than a little confused. My heart pounded in my chest, and I felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety and dread, although I couldn't quite remember why. My head darted left and right as I tried desperately to find the source of the voice, but as far as I could tell, t... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | When the first human got to hell, Satan and all his minions were amazed, no one made it here, no matter how bad were their sins, they repent and ask forgiveness or simply the good actions outweigh the sins.
So Satan like a curious cat took him to his office to make an interview to study him. "So John Felgrand it's yo... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | The Devil's face told you everything you needed to know at that moment. His clap was sardonic and so incredibly sad.
"How, how the hell did you end up here...in Hell?"
"Well, you know I just made a few mistakes. Wasn't really paying attention and I let a few things get out of hand."
"Yeah, but you of all people. Ser... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | *The flames roared up around his face,
burning ever hot.
He looked around, quite confused.
"This must be hell." he thought.*
*"You're right! Congrats! You made it here!"
Said the Devil, great and red.
"If I'm in Hell, then that must mean..."
"Yes, you are quite dead!"*
*"In fact, surprise, you're #1!
You're the fir... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | A crisp clap fills the atmosphere with dread, as the overwhelming darkness shifts to an endless sea of fire.
The silhouette of a man with horns is projected ten times its size over the inferno.
"Salutations, Jon," it's distorted voice boomed at the lowest pitch possible. "Welcome to my domain."
The man glanced at... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | “You’re here. Finally. I was getting sick of you living.
You were truly pathetic when you were alive, I hope that will change soon enough because I’ve been told I am going to need you.”
The devil spoke in a way you couldn’t tell his emotions if he had any. His voice was steady and when he spoke your attention was ... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | A bone-jarring impact jolts me awake, followed by a few seconds of searing pain. I try to sit up, but the searing pain keeps me on by back. After a moment, the pain begins to subside and I'm able to sit up and take stock of my situation. When I look down at myself I nearly pass out. What once was a mostly healthy, slig... | Clap. Clap. Clap. Clapping was what I heard as I was falling towatds the rocky and uneven ground. I hit the ground and the clapping stopped. I sat up realizing I was OK and there was lava flowing neat me and fores burning on the horizon.
" Who are you? Where am I? WTF happened to me? " I asked the clapping man as he ... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. |
I apologize. I must say that before any other things are spoken of. There are things that you regret, and choices that you look back on as poor. That they maybe had a semblance of sin or malovence in them.
I... I will attempt to pen my thoughts on the situation that has befallen me.
The darkness came without warn... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | It was a big day in Hell.
It's first resident was about to arrive.
Satan, had been waiting for eons for someone to arrive. And eons passed. But noone arrived.
So, as it's expected, he became more of a slob around there. Started not cleaning up, not filling up with lava the lava pits, not providing with oxygen the fi... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | "It wasn't the first, second, or even the third child you gave her then caused her to lose. It wasn't that you mistreated her, abused her, or caused her such extensive grief. It wasn't that you never kept or maintained any love that didn't go out of its way to be in your life.
It was that once those around you grew st... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | The cathedral was empty and dusty, almost like an empty tomb. Faint light filtered in through windows far above, creating a menacing mix of shifting shadows. Before him was laid out a path, passing between columns rising far above. Statues lined the stone path, figures of both immeasurable beauty and horrific terror.
... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | They were right about one thing. The sign at the gate really did say "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here." Other than that, Hell was nothing like I imagined.
When I stepped in, it was not crowded. I saw shapes shambling along, all naked. Every time one of them would catch each other's eyes, they would look away and r... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | It takes a moment for me to notice the clapping. I can't hear it, not over the roar of hellfire all around me. It burns with a sonorous crackle with a high pitch that shouldn't be possible, and it's too loud, too close to my ears for how far away the flames are, far enough that I haven't started burning.
But I can see... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | I saw him, the amalgamation of all that was evil. His fire stricken gaze pierced through me. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, he turned in my direction and laughed *hysterically*.
"Hell-oh and welcome to my home, toilets are on the left, beds on the right and beers are in the fridge." Satan spoke almost gleefully. A... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | The last thing I remember was the truck ramming into my drivers side door, a searing pain, and then I woke up in possibly the most posh living room I'd ever seen. It was almost entirely made up of red and pink colors, with some black accents. Everything was sleek, modern, perfectly neat and tidy.
A small man with lar... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | "A PUPPY Holocaust?" Beelzebub spat, "How the hell... How did you even... I mean, I thought it was hilarious when Hitler tricked all those people into thinking the Jews were responsible for all the world's problems, but at least that was theoretically possible. You, though, you did it... with innocent baby dogs? I just... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | The chains rattled as the frozen metal dragged along a large sheet of ice before you. You stood amongst an infinite span of frozen lake in front of a titanic mass of darkness and chilling void. Two red eyes dragged trails of light that resembled brake lights in the night as the figures head swayed gently as it breathed... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | "I don't understand it!" Satan exclaimed. "You've done no wrong all your life, you never even swatted a mosquito!"
"I don't get it either." I replied. "I can't think of anything that could have gotten me sent down here-"
"Waitamoment...." Satan interrupted. "I think I know what did it...Yep, you did the simplest, yet... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | Hell? I was in... Hell? I couldn't remember the moments prior to my death, but I could remember the rest of my life: I didn't think I'd end up in Hell. I really didn't. What did I do wrong? I had to know. I had to.
He was still clapping. He looked... Happy. Not evil happy like you expect the Devil - was he the Devil? ... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | The smell on the walls burned my lungs as I drew in a breath. It was warmer than I cared for so I removed my coat and hung it on the rack to my right. A figure sat in an iron throne laden with rubies the size of my closed fist; naked women with bat-like wings, masterfully sculpted, supported each armrest. The figures e... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | As Satan stood up from his throne, he began clapping and laughing as hard as he could.
"Congratulations on being the first person to make it to hell. You are the first person to make it to hell. Billion upon billions have managed to make it to heaven even those who are considered to be the worst humanity has to offer... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | I was awakened by a slow drip of water on my forehead, which decended towards my temples in either side. Pain and burning flesh was my next conscious thought as I realized that it wasn't water but rather some sort of acid that rose me out of my death dream. I scrambled to my feet quickly as another drop was being affec... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | It was the slow clap that was the most annoying. When I arrived, he was just standing there with a big grin slow clapping. This was definitely Hell.
"I've been waiting a long time for this moment."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah." Then with a flourish, he struck a pose that looked vaguely similar to any Indian Bollywood movie cov... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | "I expected quite few more souls packed in here when we started developing the place," Satan chuckled as I approached slowly. "But as you can see, its a ghost town."
I suspect He had rehearsed that last line for quite some time.
"But really, any day now they will come pouring in, and we won't have room for them all,... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | "What do you mean, I'm the *only* one? That's impossible!"
"Apparently not", Satan answered, grinning slightly in his immaculately tailored suit. "All you had to do was *try*. Couldn't even manage that, could you? Grace is, dare I say, a hell of a thing, but you've managed to be the one screwup who couldn't qualify."... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | "Finally, someone worthy!" he exclaims.
I recover from the confusion of suddenly having been transported by an other-worldly force to this unfamiliar place. The presence of a being who looks to be Satan gives me the cue that I am, indeed, dead, and that this may be hell.
"Is this... hell?"
"It sure is buddy", Sata... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | I've been in Hell for less than 5 minutes and I'm already going mad. I've walked the length and width of this tiny island 3 times and found no sign of life or purpose anywhere. Is this my punishment, to spend eternity isolated from everything with no explanation? I tried jumping off the island into the darkness, but I ... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | I woke to the sensation of smooth stone on my bare skin. I sat up drowsily, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and trying to make sense of what happened. Last I remembered, I was composing a brief when I felt an intense pain in my chest, then... nothing. A heart attack?
Wherever I was now, it certainly wasn't a hospital.... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | Exhaustion was the only thing I could feel. The last 3, well, 5--no really, 7 years had been all about other people and lately it had been a complete shitfest. I never took any me-time, and I had paid for it in the end. But I always told myself "eh, I'll sleep when I'm dead".
My first experience of being dead was sitt... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | "Welcome!, this is truly impressive, no one has ever been sent here before." The devil gives me an enthusiastic round of applause.
"Wait... so there's no one else here?, that's not good. How am I to pass the time?"
"Well I'm here obviously as the ruler of this place, not that there's been much to do until now." The... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | "Wakey wakey" snarled a voice, breaking up an eternity of silence. "I am just *dying* to hear your story"
I opened my eyes slowly, and my vision filled up with red. Red clouds swirled through a yellow sky, red sand stretched for endless miles in every direction, and red mountains jutted into the horizon in the distanc... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | Cold claps rumbled and rippled through the red, cracked ground. For the first time in a long time, I was almost alone. Where I had come from, loneliness wasn't allowed.
He stood there in all his dark majesty and wore a look I had seen before. I had seen it many times: he was shocked. Hidden in his broken eyes was ano... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | "Where am I?"
"Why, Hell of course!"
"Hey, it's not too bad. I was expecting a...."
"A lake of fire? Haha, no this is it. Just you and me. And nothing else."
I'm a little relieved. I hadn't lived the best life. I was expecting a fiery lake of fire but this, this isn't too bad. Just emptiness all around.
I look aro... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... | |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | "Dibs." I cried out over the Devil's clapping and laughter. He didn't seem to hear me, so I screamed it again. "**Dibs!**"
The Devil stopped and looked at me. "What do you mean 'dibs'?" He blinked, a little confused by my reaction.
I looked around the vast vastness of Hell before turning to Lucifer once more. "Well, ... | "Man oh man I don't believe it, after 3000 years I finally got one. Oh man we got so much to do I've been prepping so much stuff it's gonna blow your mind, come on times wasting man." Said Satan
I pick myself up and just start running. The hell is going on? I remember driving home from work and wait was that the fucki... |
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