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Dataset card Data Studio Files
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Esther!
Mordechai!
Esther!
Mordechai!
You two know each other?
We go to the same temple.
So. Do you have a name?
It's Esther.
From the story of Purim. Well, now that we're all acquainted, let's sit down and start the Sabbath.
You like my Mordechai, yes?
He's...he's very nice. But Mrs. Carver, the fate of Hanukkah rests solely in his hands. Please, you have to help me.
Hanukkah, Shmanukkah. It isn't even one of the high holidays. What concerns me more is that my boychick is almost thirty, and has yet to settle down with a nice Jewish girl. I'll make you a deal. I'll help you with your little Hanukkah problem if you help me with my Mordechai.
What do you want me to do?
He works too much. God forbid he should have a nice Jewish girl come eat by him once in a while. Take his mind off his work. Maybe a blowjob here and there.
Well, for starters, we're going to honeymoon in Boca for a week. And then, when we get back, Morty's been talking about taking a stable, good paying job as a consultant for the JDL.
Well, I couldn't be happier for the both of you.
Alright Mordechai, now that we're alone I just want to say that I'm not happy about this. I don't want a repeat of that incident in the West Bank.
I got the job done didn't I? I did what I had to do.
A settlement completely demolished, ten smashed army jeeps, four dead Arabs. G dash D damn it, Hammer! You think you're above the Ten Commandments? Just find Santa Claus and bring him back to us. No heroics, got it?
Hey, it's your Bar Mitzvah. I'm just readin' the Torah portion.
I guess I could be chalant about it, but then again I'm not even sure if that's a word. Listen Chief, we could stand around arguing all day, but I gotta case to crack.
What's your first move?
I'm gonna pay a visit to the K.L.F. See if they've got the 411 on Santa's location. I'll check in with you when I know more.
Chief, it's me. Listen carefully. I need for the Worldwide Jewish Media Conspiracy to mass produce video copies of every Hollywood movie ever made featuring a positive Jewish protagonist as its lead.
You mean you want us to make copies of Yentl, Fiddler On The Roof, and Chaim Potok's The Chosen?
That'll work. Get them out to the Jewish community stat. We got an epidemic on our hands.
It was a trap. I'm back at square one.
Well, then I've got good news for you. We just got word that he'll be making an appearance at the Mall Of America today. I'm sending Esther to meet you there at once.
Good thinking. We'll disguise ourselves as a Gentile couple to pass undetected. Now that he thinks I'm dead, this should be a piece of homentashen.
One last thing Hammer. You take care of yourself. The...
Mordechai. Thank god you're here.
What's up?
About an hour ago, we received this transmission from the North Pole.
Looks like I got a plane to catch.
Take Esther with you, you'll need the backup.
No way, it's too dangerous. Besides, my days of hooking are over.
So why the long face?
It's Esther. Santa's got her.
My Esther! Oh Mordechai.
Please. Will you help me?
I love her sir. If I don't help you, I won't be able to make her my wife. Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim has agreed to come with me to the North Pole on a rescue mission.
There won't be any need for that sir.
Hammer, the fate of my daughter rests solely in your hands.
I know sir. I won't let you down.
Who... Who is that?
Mayol... Jacques Mayol.
That's the experiment? Dumping a guy into a frozen lake?
... The truck fell into a very deep crevasse. We weren't able to save the equipment.
I'll have to talk to the driver.
In the spring when he melts!
My dear, science is a cruel mistress.
But... how is he going to breathe?
He isn't going to breathe.
He's in the fluoroscope now. Listen to his heart. Impressive, huh? The flow of blood is concentrated in the brain and doesn't even feed the limbs anymore. It's a phenomena that has only been observed with dolphins... until now.
How long can he stay down? Without breathing?
It depends. He should come up soon. Unless he's decided to stay for the night.
Why is he doing this?
For one thing, it's his job... as for the rest of it, I wish I knew.
Shouldn't somebody take him a blanket or something?
Coffee might be nice.
Will he understand Spanish?
His mother's an American. He spent half of his life in the states. I'd try English if I were you.
Okay, listen, just get the custom's office to send me a copy as fast as possible. We can't send you new equipment until our file is complete. Okay?
Okay, okay. You'll have it by the end of the week, how's that?
You've made me a happy insurance person.
Then, goodbye.
Wait! Professor...?
... Yes?
I'll go see how he's doing.
Let him sleep.
What are they for?
They're paramedics. They wait at 180 feet.
If there was a problem, they could do something right?
Of course, that's what they're for.
... And those?
Those are the divers who go down 300 to 330 feet. They dive with a Heliumoxygen mixture. At that depth, compressed air is too dangerous because it contains carbon dioxide.
What's that little air bottle on the machine?
That isn't for the divers actually. It's for the balloon. It blows up and pulls the diver up like an elevator. Without it, with the pressure at the bottom, the diver would just stay pinned to the sea bed.
But doesn't Jacques dive without anything?
Yes... It's magic.
I changed the lock you son of a bitch!
... Sally?
You're back! Hello. We were burgled.
Again?
They got the new T.V.
... And the new stereo.
I hope they remembered to take the microwave this time?
Yep. How was your trip...? Help me clean up, okay?
You called the police?
They're going to send detectives.
Well?
What?
How was your trip?
Nice... Very interesting... Great! ... I guess.
Okay... Who'd you meet?
It's his heartbeat.
Oh Jesus...! I'll make some coffee. They left the stove.
I thought you said he was Peruvian?
Haven't you been listening?
... Since eight o'clock last night...! You're in love.