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Screw that.
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Hookers beat you up?
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Yes.
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I didn't know you were into that.
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Gary, how we doing, big stallion?
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Rick, I really think I'm in love.
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This is cause for celebration. She'll probably charge half price for sex from now on.
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So we want your best girls, the cream of your crop.
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Let's see your bread.
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Park View Hotel, Room 1002.
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They'll be up there in a half hour.
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Okay. Nice to meet you both.
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Jumbo, where the hell are the women?
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What are you talking about, asshole?
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Your whores never showed up.
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They left an hour ago, pink nuts.
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Screw you!
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That's it, prick lips.
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What are you...
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I've had it, numb nuts... How much money you got?
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Why?
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Because I'm pissed off. Now give me your cash.
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This is bad public relations. I was planning to do a lot of business with you. But now I'm going to have to go elsewhere.
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Hey. I'm sorry. You want girls. I'll give you girls.
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Give him the works.
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That's more like it.
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Ed, we're so glad you could come over at the last minute and judge our little beauty pageant.
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My pleasure, Al... Always happy to help out in a pinch... Excuse me. I better call my service... tell them where I am.
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Congratulations on your daughter's wedding. Who's she marrying?
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A real turd.
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Well... hope she'll be very happy.
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Great bathing suit.
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I think I screwed that one once.
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Thanks for helping us out, Ed. We appreciate it.
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Any time, Al.
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I'm using the same caterer for the shower I had for our Christmas party last year.
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Great, Mom.
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Why is Cole here?
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You know your father enjoys his company.
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A strange wang right in my palm.
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Ilene, we don't really know that.
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What kind of job? I'm a housewife.
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Quiet, Mother.
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I hope Ilene's all right.
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I hope those guys are all right.
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If I were you, I'd worry less about the shower and more about Rick's bachelor party.
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Ilene, why would I want to do that? I trust Rick.
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Of course you do. I trusted my ex, Mel, too. Cousin, I can only talk from experience. What do you think they do at these parties, have tea and play scrabble?
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Ilene, Rick promised...
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Debbie, don't be naive. Men are pigs.
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Are you sure this is a good idea?
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Look, you heard what those hookers said. They were supposed to go to a bachelor party.
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That doesn't mean it was Rick's party.
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Debbie, men are pigs if they can have women, we can have men.
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Let's go.
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Look, girls I'll stay behind and hold them off. The rest of you break for it!
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Ilene, are you crazy?
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I know what I'm doing... Go!
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God, you're a slob.
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But a fabulous cook.
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What are we having?
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It's either meatloaf, Swiss steak or charred flesh. I won't know till it's finished.
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I think your dinner's burning.
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Don't worry... it's supposed to do this.
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Want to hear something great? Bobbie and Phoebe are throwing me a shower. It's really gonna be fun.
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Not as much fun as the bachelor party the guys are throwing for me.
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You're going to have a bachelor party?
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Of course. I'm a traditional guy... It's a traditional event. Well, what do you think?
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It looks awful.
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Yes, but looks are deceiving... Not in this case, however.
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Are you going to have women at your party?
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No, sweetheart, it's a stag party. Does stay home.
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I'm not talking about does. I'm talking about hookers.
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Oh, those. Why do you ask?
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Because from what I've heard, it's a tradition and you're a traditional guy.
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Huh? Wha...
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I can't sleep.
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Oh... I got something for that.
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Stop fooling around... I need to talk.
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What's the matter?
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I don't know... I just feel scared.
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About what?
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The wedding, my parents, your family, our friends, my job, the future, our relationship, the caterers, my gown, your tuxedo, our honeymoon, the apartment, my shower, your bachelor party...
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I think the only think you've left out are our relations with the Soviet Union. Sweetheart, everything's gonna be all right.
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Before or After I have my nervous breakfown?
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C'mere.
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That feels so great.
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Good...
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Um... that's very relaxing.
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Now, I want you to lie down and drift off to slumberland.
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Well... twentyfour more hours to go and tonight we'll share with our friends and loved ones the joys of those last moments of singleness.
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You better not have too much joy.
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Wouldn't think of it. Because tomorrow... We're going to the chapel and we're...
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Gonna get married...
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This is it, lady. Last stop.
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Can't I just go with you guys?
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Sorry, we got men's business to do. It's no place for a lady.
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Remember, you promised... no screwing around.
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Did I promise that? I don't remember that...
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You're really pissing me off.
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