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Ahem. As I was saying, perhaps another macaroon ...
Thank you, Steed.
Sir August ... ? Sir August ... ?
Eh? In here!
Quite a collection.
If nature gives a man a collector's mind, it doesn't matter what he collects. Butterflies. Old China. Penny farthings. A true collector grows more obsessive as the years pass.
Your voice it's so familiar ...
We have met ...
Congratulations, Mrs. Peel. You have been a worthy opponent. You have tracked us down. You are within an ace of winning.
This isn't a game.
Quite right, but we still make the rules.
Rules are made to be broken.
People, too.
Then who wins?
You and I. Together. But first you must confront your greatest enemy. Who could that be, Mrs. Peel? The answer is obvious ...
May I help you, madam ...
Mr. John Steed, please.
I'm afraid that's impossible.
Impossible?
You are female?
As you see.
Then you can't come in.
I have an appointment.
No women. Not in Boodles. Not since 1922.
Really what happened in 1922?
I've come to apply for membership in Brolly
You don't get rain like you used to in England. A good shower that's the ticket. Stiffens resolve, puckers the spirit, quells the nambypamby in a man.
I so agree. How did you acquire a taste for it?
Out in India. So characterforming for the British. Not the heat. Good Lord, no. The rain, dash it. A good monsoon. Fifteen inches overnight. A whole week of lovely rain. I remember one summer in Jaipur ...
You
Have we met?
You mean you don't recall??
Ah, beautiful. Just as he promised.
Promised? Who promised?
There, look!
Mrs. Peel ... Come quickly. Brolly's been betrayed! I'll tell you everything ... The weather's getting worse and worse ... they're after me ... coming for me ... come quickly!
Sir August...? What now?
I want you to say the first thing that comes into your head when I say these words. Do you understand ... ? Blue ...
... bottle ...
Red ...
... head ...
Knight ...
Black...
... death ...
Love...
... death ...
Flower ...
... power ...
Nature ...
... preserve...
Secret ...
... love...
Hope...
... love ...
Fear ...
... love ...
Peter ...
How long have I been here?
Three days.
He said if it vanished, he'd know it was ... you who betrayed him. He took a huge risk. The ultimate test.
So I'm still ...
Would that I could say the Same.
Ah, but you haven't see the real me. Watch closely ...
We're not yet open for business, I'm afraid.
Shame. I was recommended. By a friend.
Really?
Sir August Merryweather? I was looking for something relaxing. Say, a Tuscan hillside in June?
Normally, we'd be eager to oblige
Seriously?
Of course. Natural weather delivered to your door on demand. Down your phoneline. For limited periods.
You don't say. How real does it feel?
As real as you wish. Hot or cold. Humid or dry. Anything you like. Within reason.
There are limits?
The technology is brand new. Soon it will be more powerful. We anticipate a huge demand. Leave us your number. We'll be in touch.
No need. I'll call again.
So, Scott, why don't we start with you. Why are you here?
Well, it's kind of weird.
We don't judge here.
OK. Well, I just really met my Dad for the first time three days ago. He was partially frozen for thirty years. I never knew him growing up. He comes back and now he wants me to take over the family business.
And how do you feel about that?
I don't wanna take over the family business.
What do you want to do, Scott?
I don't know. I was thinking, maybe I'd be a vet or something, cause I like animals and stuff.
We don't label people here, Scott.
No, he's really evil.
Scott.
I just think, like, he hates me. I really think he wants to kill me.
OK, Scott, no one really wants to "kill" anyone here. They say it, but they don't mean it.
Oh, hello Vanessa. How was the flight?
Great.
How's Austin?
He's asleep.
You didn't...
Oh, God no, I made him sleep on the couch.
I'm proud of you.
Why?
Because you managed to resist Austin Power's charms.
Well, God knows he tried, but I've been rather firm with him, Mummy. You didn't tell me he was so obsessed with sex. It's bizarre.
You can't judge him by modern standards. He's very much a product of his times. In my day he could have any woman he wanted.
What about his teeth?