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I think if everyone were honest, they'd confess that the lady looks exactly like a man in drag.
I'm leaving! Oh, and Austin?
Yes, Basil?
Be careful.
Thanks.
Well, Austin, you've stopped Dr. Evil from destroying the world with his subterranean nuclear probe, and somehow you and Agent Kensington managed to escape unscathed from his evil lair.
I'd say that about sums it up, Exposition.
Not quite, actually. Vanessa, I have something for you.
Congratulations, Field Agent Kensington!
Austin, I have something for you as well.
Here's the number of my dentist, he's first rate. Ring him up, he'll look after you.
Thanks, Basil. Maybe the Nineties aren't so bad after all.
But, wait, I you got me again. Oh, and Austin
Yes Basil?
Be careful!
Austin Powers? Hi, I'm Andy Warhol.
Hey, how are you?
Hungry.
Here, have this can of Campbell's Tomato Soup.
I'm going to paint this can of soup and become famous and not give you any credit for it.
If you can become famous, everyone will have their fifteen minutes of fame, man.
"Fifteen minutes of fame?" I'm going to use that quote and not give you any credit for that, either.
Smashing!
You seem surprised to see me.
I thought you'd quit while you were ahead.
What, and watch all my earnings go... Down the toilet?
What do you want, Mr... Cunningham, was it?
Call me Ritchie, Miss Fagina. May I call you Alotta... Please?
You may.
Your boss, Number Two, I understand that cat's involved in big underground drills.
Virtucon's main interest is in cable television, but they do have a subterranean construction division, yes. How did you know?
I didn't, baby, you just told me.
It's for the mining industry, Mr. Cunningham. We can talk about business later. But first, let me slip into something more comfortable.
Behave!
Come in.
I'd rather talk about Number Two.
Don't you like girls, Mr. Cunningham? Come in, and I'll show you everything you need to know.
May I wash you?
Groovy.
In Japan, men come first and women come second.
Or sometimes not at all.
Care for some saki?
Saki it to me!
How do you feel, Mr. Cunningham?
Mmmm... I feel extreme relaxation.
'Pardon me for being rude, It was not me, it was my food. It just popped up to say hello, and now it's gone back down below.'
That's very clever. Do you know any other poems?
'Milk, milk, lemonade. Round the corner fudge is made. Stick your finger in the hole, And out comes a tootsie roll!'
Thank you, that's beautiful. To your health.
To my health.
Kiss me.
Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Is it about my teeth?
Yes.
Damn. What exactly do you do at Virtucon?
I'll tell you all in due time, after we make love. But first, tell me another poem.
I think it was Wordsworth who penned this little gem: 'Press the button, pull the chain, out comes a chocolate choochoo train.'
Oh, you're very clever. Let's make love, you silly, hairy little man.
What is it?
Not much. Glorified cherry bomb. Right by the civil defense sign? Some geek's idea of irony. I been saying we need a camera in this hall.
There's nothing in this hall. Someone's pulling your chain, as usual.
Unless it's a diversion. Milo's in my office. He was tailgating, so I
That kid's the great white hope.
I could get it out of him.
You're not listening.
Who're these guys?
Where is he?
We're too late. Take a look.
Fellas, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave here now.
Wait a second. I'm the one who found out he was mucking around in here in the first place.
We're all grateful for that. Really. Go out the way you came in?
We tried the big vaporware number, Gary, it's nosale.
Can we buy into their IPO? Or is that a Justice Dept. problem?
There is no public offering. The guy who wrote it joined some freakazoid cult in San Luis Obispo. 'Wrote this just to run their web site.
Maybe he'll get back to work.
Speaking of which...
Yeah, yeah.
Did you download Corey? In San Jose?
Damn. 'Have to go back over there. Be so much easier if we could walk in the front door.
You don't look anything like a three yearold.
So how far are we from the campus?
Oh we're not going to the campus.
So how'd you like the house?
His Snapples were in alphabetical order.
Well, he micromanaged the company till it got too big... 'Guess he needs to micromanage something.
Every geek here's got a thing for Lisa. But that's about the biggest reaction she's had to anybody.
She's a programmer?
Heavy graphical background, doing designinterface for Skywire apps. You'll be working with her.
I've got a girlfriend, remember?
Right. That's rare around here. You know how nuns' remarried to Jesus? 'Posties are married to Outpost.
What're they building?
#21. Way behind schedule. It's top secret, but everybody knows it's a digital broadcast space. They see the dishes on top, the fiber optics going in.
Gary's not into fiber optics. He's betting everything on the satellites.
You wanna survive in the software business, you cover your bets... I gotta say, this is the weirdest car anybody ever requested.
...You got my Email?
And your phone messages. You wanna do what you do, it's not a crime.
Is that how Larry feels?
Uh. Not exactly.
Wanted to say goodbye to him...
Hey, we got seed money for the startup! A millionfive!