garcianacho/Scripts · Datasets at Hugging Face

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Don't try to suck up to me! It's a little late for that. I'm a freak! Look at it, it's been rendered useless.
I'm sorry, baby, I'm just not grocking your head space.
Oh forget it. As a fellow player on the international stage, Mr. Powers, I'm sure you'll enjoy watching the curtain fall on the third and final act.
Dr. Evil, do you really expect them to pay?
No, Mr. Powers, I expect them to die. Even after they pay me the money, I'm still going to melt all the cities of the world with hot magma. All right, guard, begin the unnecessarily SlowMoving Dipping Mechanism.
I've got you, Dr. Evil!
Well done, Mr. Powers. We're not so different, you and I. It's true, you're British, and I'm Belgian. You have a full head of hair, mine is slightly receding. You're thin, I'm about forty pounds overweight. OK, we are different, I'm not making a very good point. However, isn't it ironic, Mr. Powers, that the very things you stand for swinging, free love, parties, distrust of authority are all now, in the Nineties, considered to be... evil? Maybe we have more in common than you care to admit.
No, man, what we swingers were rebelling against were uptight squares like you, whose bag was money and world domination. We were innocent, man. If we'd known the consequences of our sexual liberation, we would have done things differently, but the spirit would have remained the same. It's freedom, man.
Your freedom has cause more pain and suffering in the world than any plan I ever dreamed of. Face it, freedom failed.
That's why right now is a very groovy time, man. We still have freedom, but we also have responsibility.
Really, there's nothing more pathetic than an aging hipster.
It seems the tables have turned again, Dr. Evil.
Not really. Kill the little bastard. See what I care.
Man, you are one chilly square!
Good afternoon, Mr. Powers, I'm the Destructacon 5000. I'm programmed to prevent you from progressing beyond this point. You might as well surrender. Resistance is futile. Your odds of survival are 23,763,273 to...
Well, Destructacon 5000, you have quite a head on your shoulders, I dare to coin.
Yes, I am programmed to answer any question.
Really? Let me ask you this. What is love?
That does not compute.
Why not? It's a question.
Love is... love is... love is...
Hey Austin Powers, it's me, Mick Jagger.
Hey, Mick!
Are you more satisfied now sexually, Austin?
Well, you can't always get what you want.
"You can't always get what you want!" That's a great title for a song! I'm gonna write that, and it'll be a big hit.
Good on ya, man.
Groovy!
Hello, Austin. This is Basil Exposition, Chief of British Intelligence. You're Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, and you're with Agent Mrs. Kensington. The year is 1967, and you're talking on a picture phone.
We know all that, Exposition.
I just wanted to be extremely clear so that everyone knows what's going on at any given time. We've just received word that Dr. Evil, the ultimate square, is planning to take over the world.
Dr. Evil? I thought I put him in jail for good.
I'm afraid not. Earlier this week, Dr. Evil escaped from Zedel Edel Prison in Baaden Baaden and now he's planning a trap for you tonight at the Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swinger's Club in Picadilly Circus here in swinging London.
Just where you'd never think to look for him. We'll be there.
Good luck, Austin.
Thank you.
Oh, and Austin...
Yes?
Be careful.
Thank you. Let's go, baby!
Where am I?
You're in the Ministry of Defense. It's 1997. You've been cryogenically frozen for thirty years.
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The shouting is a temporary side effect of the unfreezing process.
Yes, I'm having trouble controlling... THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE!
You might also experience a slight fever, dry mouth, and flatulence at moments of extreme relaxation. Austin, this is Commander Gilmour, Strategic Command, and General Borschevsky, Russian Intelligence.
Russian Intelligence? Are you mad?
A lot's happened since you were frozen, Austin. The cold war's over.
Thank God. Those capitalist dogs will finally pay for their crimes against the people, hey Comrades?
We won, Austin.
Groovy. Smashing! Good on ya! Nice tie. Yea capitalism!
When do I begin?
Immediately. You'll be working with Ms. Kensington.
You mean Mrs. Kensington?
No, Austin, Mrs. Kensington has long since retired. Ms. Kensington is her daughter.
Vanessa's one of our top agents.
My God, Vanessa's got a smashing body. I bet she shags like a minx. How do I tell them that because of the unfreezing process, I have no inner monologue? I hope I didn't say that out loud just now.
Yes, well...Agent Kensington will get you set up. She's very dedicated. Perhaps, a little too dedicated. She's got a bit of a bug up her ass. Good luck, Austin, the world's depending on you.
Thank you, Exposition.
Oh, and Austin...
Yes?
Be careful.
Thanks.
Hello Austin. Hello Vanessa. This is Basil Exposition, from British Intelligence. There's a company in Las Vegas called Virtucon that we think may be linked to Dr. Evil. Many of the Virtucon executives gamble at the hotel/casino where you'll be staying. That's the first place you should look. Well, I'm off to the chat rooms.
Thank you, Exposition.
Oh, and Austin...
Yes?
Be careful.
Hello, Austin, this is Basil Exposition from British Intelligence. Thank you for confirming the link between Dr. Evil and Virtucon. Find out what part Virtucon plays in something called Project Vulcan. I'll need you and Vanessa to get on that immediately.
Right away, Exposition.
Where is Vanessa, by the way?
She's working on another lead right now.
Then you'll have to go it alone. Good luck.
Thank you, Basil.
Oh, and Austin...
Yes?
Let me remind you that because of the unfreezing process you might experience flatulence at moments of extreme relaxation.
Oh, yes. Thank you.
There's one more thing, Austin.
Yes?
Be careful.
Thank you.
Hello, Exposition.
Austin, Vanessa, let me bring you up to speed. Dr. Evil has high jacked a nuclear warhead from Kreplachistan and is holding the world ransom for onehundred billion dollars. If the world doesn't pay up in four days, he's threatening to destroy the world.
Thank you, Exposition. Only two things, scare me, and one is nuclear war.
What's the other?
Excuse me?
What's the other thing you're scared of?
Carnies.
What?
Circus folk. Nomads, you know. They smell like cabbage.
Indeed... If we could get back to the business at hand. It's one thing to have a warhead, it's quite another thing to have the missiles to launch it.
Maybe these photographs are the last piece of that puzzle. I've uncovered the details on Project Vulcan. It's a new subterranean warhead delivery system.
Good God, and underground missile. We've long feared such a development.
My God, Austin, what have you done?
That's not your mother, that's a man!
I'm sorry, Basil, I thought she was a man.
Damn it, man! You're talking about my mother!
You must admit, she is rather mannish. No offense, but if that's a woman, it looks like she's been beaten with an ugly stick.
All right, Austin, I think you should go.

Don't try to suck up to me! It's a little late for that. I'm a freak! Look at it, it's been rendered useless.

I'm sorry, baby, I'm just not grocking your head space.

Oh forget it. As a fellow player on the international stage, Mr. Powers, I'm sure you'll enjoy watching the curtain fall on the third and final act.

Dr. Evil, do you really expect them to pay?

No, Mr. Powers, I expect them to die. Even after they pay me the money, I'm still going to melt all the cities of the world with hot magma. All right, guard, begin the unnecessarily SlowMoving Dipping Mechanism.

I've got you, Dr. Evil!

Well done, Mr. Powers. We're not so different, you and I. It's true, you're British, and I'm Belgian. You have a full head of hair, mine is slightly receding. You're thin, I'm about forty pounds overweight. OK, we are different, I'm not making a very good point. However, isn't it ironic, Mr. Powers, that the very things you stand for swinging, free love, parties, distrust of authority are all now, in the Nineties, considered to be... evil? Maybe we have more in common than you care to admit.

No, man, what we swingers were rebelling against were uptight squares like you, whose bag was money and world domination. We were innocent, man. If we'd known the consequences of our sexual liberation, we would have done things differently, but the spirit would have remained the same. It's freedom, man.

Your freedom has cause more pain and suffering in the world than any plan I ever dreamed of. Face it, freedom failed.

That's why right now is a very groovy time, man. We still have freedom, but we also have responsibility.

Really, there's nothing more pathetic than an aging hipster.

It seems the tables have turned again, Dr. Evil.

Not really. Kill the little bastard. See what I care.

Man, you are one chilly square!

Good afternoon, Mr. Powers, I'm the Destructacon 5000. I'm programmed to prevent you from progressing beyond this point. You might as well surrender. Resistance is futile. Your odds of survival are 23,763,273 to...

Well, Destructacon 5000, you have quite a head on your shoulders, I dare to coin.

Yes, I am programmed to answer any question.

Really? Let me ask you this. What is love?

That does not compute.

Why not? It's a question.

Love is... love is... love is...

Hey Austin Powers, it's me, Mick Jagger.

Hey, Mick!

Are you more satisfied now sexually, Austin?

Well, you can't always get what you want.

"You can't always get what you want!" That's a great title for a song! I'm gonna write that, and it'll be a big hit.

Good on ya, man.

Groovy!

Hello, Austin. This is Basil Exposition, Chief of British Intelligence. You're Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, and you're with Agent Mrs. Kensington. The year is 1967, and you're talking on a picture phone.

We know all that, Exposition.

I just wanted to be extremely clear so that everyone knows what's going on at any given time. We've just received word that Dr. Evil, the ultimate square, is planning to take over the world.

Dr. Evil? I thought I put him in jail for good.

I'm afraid not. Earlier this week, Dr. Evil escaped from Zedel Edel Prison in Baaden Baaden and now he's planning a trap for you tonight at the Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swinger's Club in Picadilly Circus here in swinging London.

Just where you'd never think to look for him. We'll be there.

Good luck, Austin.

Thank you.

Oh, and Austin...

Yes?

Be careful.

Thank you. Let's go, baby!

Where am I?

You're in the Ministry of Defense. It's 1997. You've been cryogenically frozen for thirty years.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

The shouting is a temporary side effect of the unfreezing process.

Yes, I'm having trouble controlling... THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE!

You might also experience a slight fever, dry mouth, and flatulence at moments of extreme relaxation. Austin, this is Commander Gilmour, Strategic Command, and General Borschevsky, Russian Intelligence.

Russian Intelligence? Are you mad?

A lot's happened since you were frozen, Austin. The cold war's over.

Thank God. Those capitalist dogs will finally pay for their crimes against the people, hey Comrades?

We won, Austin.

Groovy. Smashing! Good on ya! Nice tie. Yea capitalism!

When do I begin?

Immediately. You'll be working with Ms. Kensington.

You mean Mrs. Kensington?

No, Austin, Mrs. Kensington has long since retired. Ms. Kensington is her daughter.

Vanessa's one of our top agents.

My God, Vanessa's got a smashing body. I bet she shags like a minx. How do I tell them that because of the unfreezing process, I have no inner monologue? I hope I didn't say that out loud just now.

Yes, well...Agent Kensington will get you set up. She's very dedicated. Perhaps, a little too dedicated. She's got a bit of a bug up her ass. Good luck, Austin, the world's depending on you.

Thank you, Exposition.

Oh, and Austin...

Yes?

Be careful.

Thanks.

Hello Austin. Hello Vanessa. This is Basil Exposition, from British Intelligence. There's a company in Las Vegas called Virtucon that we think may be linked to Dr. Evil. Many of the Virtucon executives gamble at the hotel/casino where you'll be staying. That's the first place you should look. Well, I'm off to the chat rooms.

Thank you, Exposition.

Oh, and Austin...

Yes?

Be careful.

Hello, Austin, this is Basil Exposition from British Intelligence. Thank you for confirming the link between Dr. Evil and Virtucon. Find out what part Virtucon plays in something called Project Vulcan. I'll need you and Vanessa to get on that immediately.

Right away, Exposition.

Where is Vanessa, by the way?

She's working on another lead right now.

Then you'll have to go it alone. Good luck.

Thank you, Basil.

Oh, and Austin...

Yes?

Let me remind you that because of the unfreezing process you might experience flatulence at moments of extreme relaxation.

Oh, yes. Thank you.

There's one more thing, Austin.

Yes?

Be careful.

Thank you.

Hello, Exposition.

Austin, Vanessa, let me bring you up to speed. Dr. Evil has high jacked a nuclear warhead from Kreplachistan and is holding the world ransom for onehundred billion dollars. If the world doesn't pay up in four days, he's threatening to destroy the world.

Thank you, Exposition. Only two things, scare me, and one is nuclear war.

What's the other?

Excuse me?

What's the other thing you're scared of?

Carnies.

What?

Circus folk. Nomads, you know. They smell like cabbage.

Indeed... If we could get back to the business at hand. It's one thing to have a warhead, it's quite another thing to have the missiles to launch it.

Maybe these photographs are the last piece of that puzzle. I've uncovered the details on Project Vulcan. It's a new subterranean warhead delivery system.

Good God, and underground missile. We've long feared such a development.

My God, Austin, what have you done?

That's not your mother, that's a man!

I'm sorry, Basil, I thought she was a man.

Damn it, man! You're talking about my mother!

You must admit, she is rather mannish. No offense, but if that's a woman, it looks like she's been beaten with an ugly stick.

All right, Austin, I think you should go.