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Check.
Missile and plane flight path computer showing four greens.
Check.
Zombies set to knock out local air defense four hundred miles from primary.
Missiles! Sixty miles off, heading in fast. Steady track, they look like beam riders.
Roger, keep calling them. Knock off autopilot, Ace.
Just the missiles.
They must have been fired from Bromdingna probably one of their new Vampire 202's. They've got a range well over a hundred miles.
Fortyfive. Still coming straight and fast. Twelve o' clock.
Speed?
Between Mach 3 and 4.
Call them every five miles.
Thirtyfive, still straight.
Twenty! Twelve o' clock.
Maximum ECM!
Shouldn't be bad. Might even help. But my guess is we're going to have to paddle our way back.
We'll worry about that later. Okay, I'll take damage reports.
Yeah, I got it in the thigh.
Lieutenant Toejam, why don't you help him?
Why can't he help me now? He's sitting two feet away from me!
Come on, Quentin, isn't that pretty selfish, putting yourself ahead of the mission?
Look, I'm shot it hurts.
Lieutenant Quiffer, we're all sorry you were hit, and we'll help you stick it together as soon as we get squared away.
Look, can't someone help me?
Roger.
Fighters closing fast range fifty miles.
They must have made a visual contact.
Must be Mach twofive stuff. Altitude fifteen thousand.
They can't touch us at this height.
They're moving apart.
If they come down low enough to make a firing pass, they'll never be able to pull up in time.
I think they mean business.
Hang on, boys.
Sorry, King. My leg's stiff as a board.
Hey, Terry, I'm hit.
Well, listen, King. Could you take her up to about eight hundred? That'll help you come in at a nice downangle, and it'll give us a chance for our chutes to open.
Sure, I'll take her up to eight hundred.
Could you take her up right now, King? Other wise we'll get kind of close to the fireball.
Sure, I'll take her up right now.
What else could it be?
Maybe it's an exercise.
He's right. We wouldn't have started it.
They must have clobbered some of our cities already!
He's right. They must have clobbered some of our cities already.
The dirty, stinking, rotten, sons of B's!! They might have clobbered Marge and the
Maximum ECM.
Fifteen! Twelve o' clock.
Yeah, to see if we're on our toes.
No, they wouldn't send us in with bombs on an exercise.
Give me a first rough course as soon as you can, Lieutenant Ballmuff.
Roughly, onezerofive. I'll have it plotted in a minute, Major Kong.
I've got the heading, Major. Onethreeeight.
Roger. Onethreeeight.
Roger, maintain.
Lothar, take your checks now.
We should be crossing the coast in about six minutes.
Thanks, Binky. Can you see Bromdingna Island yet?
I don't think so.
All right...we're still flying. I'm taking her down to the deck.
Give me revs for maximum speed at sea level.
You know what that'll do to our fuel consumption.
Can't help it. What's the wind like?
It was a honest mistake, sir.
I presume the planes are armed?
I'm afraid so, Mister Presient. Being part of the airborne alert, each plane is carrying a full load about fifty megatons apiece.
Well, what about the Positive Control, the safety catch? Don't the planes automatically come back unless they get a second order?
That's right, sir. But the planes were at their Positive Control points, ready to turn around when General Ripper issued the final Gocode.
And I suppose there's some reason why you haven't recalled them?
Yes, sir. The base commander, General Ripper, selected PlanR?
What the hell is PlanR?
Well, sir, PlanR is an emergency plan to be used by lower echelon commanders if higher echelons have been knocked out by a sneak attack.
Why can't you cancel it?
Once the orders have been given, PlanR requires any new orders to be received on the CRM114 in the aircraft. But the CRM114 will not receive any transmissions unless they are preceded by the proper threeletter code group.
And I suppose you're going to tell me you don't know what the threeletter code is.
Mister President, to guard against espionage, the three letter of the code group for PlanR are always selected by the lower echelon commander himself, just before each mission. They are sealed in the various attack plans and are known only to the lower echelon commander and his deputy. In this case the deputy is airborne with the Wing, and General Ripper refuses to recall the planes.
How soon until the enemy finds out what's going on?
We estimate the planes should be entering their coastal radar cover in about twentyfive min utes.
How could you let this happen, General Schmuck?
Mister President, I know you think I've let you down, but we had to have a PlanR. If we completely centralized the command and control, all a potential aggressor would have to worry about was knock ing out maybe half a dozen headquarters and the Capitol, and we'd be out of business. We'd have planes and missiles just sitting there while we were getting clobbered.
Then there's no chance for recall?
I should say practically none, though we have our communications center plowing through every possible threeletter combination. The trouble is that there are about seventeen thousand permutations, and it will take us approximately four and a half days to go through them all.
General Jack D. Ripper, sir.
I want to talk to General Ripper.
But we can't communicate with the base.
I don't think that's a fair analogy, sir.
Admiral Buldike?
But he'll hear everything we're saying. And if he just looks out of that window, he'll see everything we're doing.
That's the idea, General Schmuck. Zlat!
We don't operate like you KGB boys.
Knock it off will you, General? Crudley, find out what's holding up that call!
Have you received acknowledgements from every plane?
They're coming in now.
How long will it take to receive them all?
I'm not certain, Mister President. The boys in CONCOM do the pencil work.
I believe it will be just a few minutes, at the most.
How many planes did we lose?
I'm not certain, Mister President. But I believe it was four.
General Faceman, what was the name of the officer who called me from Burpelson?
General Schmuck, are you positive of your figures?
Naturally I am, sir.