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Dataset card Data Studio Files
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He says they've only shot down three planes.
Well, if you choose to take his word over mine
Look, he's there, and you're here.
Mister President, there were thirtyfour aircraft involved. Thirty acknowledged the recall. That makes four shot down.
Hello, are you still there?...Uhhuh...I'll be right back. We're still working this thing out.
How do you know they were shot down, Buck?
Well, just common sense, sir. Thirty from thirtyfour equals four, or my name's not "Buck" Schmuck!
Yes?
Well, sir, it looks like one aircraft, the "Leper Colony", failed to receive the recall.
Have you tried the recall again?
Yes, sir. We're still sending it. But it's a funny thing we don't seem to be able to make any contact with the aircraft at all.
What's the target.
Well, the Premier doped it out pretty well. Its primary is their missile base at Laputa.
Is there any chance a single aircraft can penetrate the entire enemy Air Defense, when its course and target are known?
If I can speak freely, sir look, these guys talk big, but frankly, we think they're short of knowhow. You can't just take a bunch of ignorant peasants and expect them to understand a machine like one of our boys, and I don't mean that as an insult, Mister Ambassador. Hell, we all know what kind of guts your people have. Why just look how many millions of 'em those Nazis killed and, hell, they still wouldn't quit.
General, stick to the point, please.
Well, sir, if the A/C's a really good man, I mean really sharp, why he can barrel that plane along so low well you just have to see it some time. A real big plane, like a Sting Ray, zigzagging in, its jet exhaust frying chickens in the barnyard Has he a chance?.....Hell, yes! He has one hell of a chance.
You've lied to me twice I'm sorry, but it will be strictly routine. These men are experts.
Zlat, make sure the secret service boys care fully search his seven body orifices.
What's the gun for, General Ripper?
Please don't take any notice of this weapon, Major. I love all weapons, and as of late, I've just taken to keeping a loaded weapon nearby at all times.
Sort of like a new hobby, huh, General?
That's right, Major.
I see you're playing your radio, Major. Isn't that contrary to my instructions for the personnel of this base?
Oh, it's not my radio, sir. I picked it up in the communications center.
I didn't mean for anyone to play anyone else's radio either, Major.
Yes, sir. General, can I ask a question?
Certainly, Major Mandrake. You're a good officer, and you can ask me a question any time you want to.
Well, General Ripper, sir I was thinking we're on a condition red, aren't we?
That is correct, Major.
And a condition red means enemy attack in progress, doesn't it?
You know the regulations well, Major.
Well, sir, I was thinking, if an enemy attack is in progress, how come the radio's still playing music? It's supposed to go off, and all we should hear are Civil Defense broadcasts.
That's a good question, Major. Maybe if you think hard, you can think of the answer yourself.
Well, I was thinking, maybe an enemy attack is not in progress?
And if that were true?
But then, sir, why have you issued the order: Wing attack, PlanR?
Because I thought it proper, Major. Why else would you think I'd do it?
Suppose that were the case?
But why...that would be an awful thing to do, sir.
Perhaps, Major. Perhaps. Pour me a scotch and soda, please. And help yourself to whatever you like.
Don't fret about it, Major. There's nothing anyone can do about it now. I'm the only one who knows the threeletter code group for the CRM114.
I know that, sir.
We've come a long way since World War II, Major. And the lessons we've learned are all in PlanR.
I suppose they are, sir.
You're damned right they are.
How much soda, sir.
Just a squirt.
That about right?
Perfect. Thank you, Major. And now let's drink a toast.
What shall we drink to, sir?
To peace on earth.
General Ripper, can I ask another question?
Ask away, Major.
Well, General I was wondering, why are you doing this? I mean why do you want to start the war?
I've given it alot of thought, Major. Don't think I haven't.
No, sir. I mean I didn't think you hadn't given it a lot of thought.
Do you remember what Clemenceau once said about war?
I don't think so, sir.
He said war was too important a matter to be left to Generals.
I see.
When he said it, fifty years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to the politicians. Do you follow me, Major?
I'm trying to, sir.
You see, Major, at this very moment, while we sit and chat, a decision is being made by the President in the War Room. He knows that the enemy will pick up our planes on their radar in about twenty minutes.
But when they do, sir, won't they hit back with everything they've got?
If we haven't taken any further action, they certainly will. Doyyourhappen to remember the statistics on our casualties in the event of a fullscale enemy attack?
Well, I think I remember reading the report on that. Wasn't it something like a hundred and sixty million?
That's close enough, Major.
But then why do you want to kill a hundred and sixty million of our people, sir?
You're being dense, Major. I certainly don't
I suppose we might catch them off their guard.
Our missiles would impact before my planes were even discovered by the enemy, wouldn't they?
I guess so.
I know so, Major. I know so. And add to that, the whole Air Command force being committed to clobber everything they've got.
But even then, we wouldn't get everything. I mean some missiles would abort, or they'd miss their targets, or maybe the enemy have some secret bases we don't know about.
You're absolutely right. You forgot to mention their nuclear subs. But it wouldn't matter. Sure we wouldn't get off without getting our hair mussed, but we'd prevail. I don't think we'd lose more than fifty million people, tops.
But if you just let things alone, we wouldn't lose anyone.
Major Mandrake, I guess you don't follow what's going on too closely, do you?
Where, sir?
Where? Everywhere, Major. Everywhere.
Well, I know they've been going on for years, and they haven't gotten any place.
Not yet, Major. Not yet.
And I guess they won't until they agree to let us inspect inside their country.
You're very naive, Major. Don't they say they want disarmament?
Yes, sir. But so do we.
But we mean it because we are a peace loving country. Are they a peaceloving country, Major.
I don't know, sir. But they're just as anxious to avoid a nuclear war as we are. War just doesn't make sense any more, for anybody.
But war doesn't make sense precisely because the weapons can kill an entire country right?
Right.
Then don't you realize the Bomb gives us Peace not War? And, if that's the case, I ask you again: Why do they want disarmament?
Well, sir, like I said, for the same reasons we do. I mean, all the experts say the most likely way for War to start nowadays is by an accident, or a mistake, or by some mentally unbalanced person
Go on, Major.
I was just going to say, as long as the weapons exist, sooner or later something's going to happen and that'll be it for both countries.
I've heard the arguments. Like Napoleon's quote, "There's one thing you can't do with a bayonet, and that's sit on it."
That's right, sir. And don't forget in a few years a lot of other countries will have the bomb. What if they start something?
Go on, Major. You fascinate me.
Well, sir, I remember an example that pointed out that if a system was safe on 99.99% of the days of the year, given average luck it would fail in thirty years.
I still ask, why do they want disarmament?
Well, for the same reasons we do, sir. Don't you see?
No, Major, I don't. They have no regard for human life. They wouldn't care if they lost their whole country as long as they won.