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Dataset card Data Studio Files
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Graham Russell and Russell Hitchcock.
What?
Its cute.
What is?
You stand on your tiptoes.
I do?
Have you ever done anything like this before?
A weekend?
A wedding.
Not the way youre thinking. The women wanted me there for support. You can understand that.
I think thats disgusting.
Not you. Youre not disgusting. Youre lovely. Just the idea that theyd bring an escort. I mean, a stranger who, um, didnt...who never.... I mean, someones dead.
Thats right. Imagine facing it alone.
Sorry. Im a little nervous. I never thought something like this would happen to me.
This happened to you?
Well, happen, in the sense that I picked up the phone, tracked you down, flew you here and gave you six grand out of my 401K.
How did you know that was me?
I have a friend at the magazine.
Your friend guaranteed my anonymity.
If it makes you feel any better, to get your number, I had to cough up two roundtrip tickets to Amsterdam and a case of miniBaileys.
Would you grab my shampoo?
Shampoo, got it!
The real story is that my mother was a hippie. And a stripper. She was insanely inappropriate with me. She used to wash her lingerie in my bathwater. While I was still in the bath.
Oh, no.
Yeah. As an adult, I needed to find some way to experience intimacy and sex, but with rules that couldnt be violated.
You shit!
I have a different story for every woman who asks. I look at her and figure out what she needs to hear to feel okay about being with me.
And you thought Id respond to the hippie stripper with no boundaries?
Admit it. You were disturbed, but ultimately moved.
So...what was I...oh, yeah. Do you honestly think that I want to be single and miserable? That I want to be obsessed with some asshole who led me on for years then out of the blue shattered my heart.
First of all, its never out of the blue. And second of all
Yes.
What?!
When youre ready to let go, to be unsingle and unmiserable, you will. Until then....
Are you asking me if Im gay for pay?
I guess so.
What do you think?
Theres a guy on 81st and Madison. You get your results in 24 hours. Do you make your lovers get tested before you sleep with them?
My sixthgrade science project was entitled, Love Hurts: The Heartbreak of Human Papillomavirus. Trust me, Im careful.
I love that youre asking questions, but do you really want to get into all of this?
This is awkward for me. Talking about it makes me feel better.
Dont stop asking questions, okay?
Okay.
I swear. I dont have a signature move.
Oh, come on. Youre like the Yoda of escorts.
Subtle?
I disappear. Its not about me.
Its hard to explain.
Show me.
Come on.
Ive got this bad taste in my mouth. What is it? I think its the words: morally repugnant.
Are you sure?
We kissed. Made out a little. Then you passed out.
Is this for last night?
Of course not. How...how could it be? Nothing happened.
If I was going to charge you, I would have told you beforehand. I thought I explained that.
Dont they have a limit at those machines?
Not if you take an advance on your credit card.
So youre telling me. If something had happened last night...it would have cost me fourteen hundred dollars? Thats a down payment on a Ford Focus!
Not dollars. Pounds.
And what if I didnt want you to...to do that to me?
No, no. The three hundred is for you doing it to me.
What?
Believe me, if anything had happened, that would have been one of the highlights. For you.
But nothing did.
Yup. Thats why you get to keep your money.
Hello, goodbye, I want you, I hate you. Its all just words. None of it means anything. What matters is what you do. You either stay put or you walk away. If you look back, youre not walking away!
Oh, cut the crap!
I just hate seeing you so stuck.
He was about to unstick me! I paid you to help me get closure.
You paid me for a lot of reasons. Closure wasnt one of them.
Im sorry I was such a bitch. I really appreciate your doing this.
Its my job.
You have had girlfriends?
Sure, but its never easy. They say theyre okay with it, and they are...for a while. Then one day, theyre not.
When I said Id never done a wedding before, I didnt say that no one ever asked. I just never said yes.
So, whyd you say yes to me?
There was something in your voice on the phone that day.
Desperation?
What would you do if you weren't an escort?
Make out with you for free.
What would you do if you stopped worrying about what other people think?
Spontaneously combust?
Yeah. You?
Yeah.
Fourteen and hes hoodwinked by a an erector set?
I didnt say he was worth it.
And thats when he peed in his pants? After the tart?
He bled a bunch, but no, there was no peeing.
So whats with the nickname?
Besides, you hired me for my discretion.
Youve always got that to hide behind, dont you? Its just business!
Yeah! For all I know, come Monday morning, well go back to the real world and...and youll be hiring me for your best friend!
You let me make a fool of myself! You lied to me! I dont know why that surprises me because lying is what you do. Its your job. Its who you are. How would you even know if something were real?
Youre judging me?! Oh, thats a good one. Youre lying to me, youre lying to your family, and youre lying to yourself. But youre going to stand there and point a finger at me? The man you hired to pretend to be your boyfriend?
Youre right. I was so desperate to make everyone believe I was happy that I spent six grand on a lie. And after all that? The only one who ended up falling for it was me.
Go ahead, Kat. Hate me. You were running out of steam on the whole Jeffrey thing. Maybe now youll be able to hold onto this just long enough to ruin your next relationship.
Hi.
Hi.
I should go.