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Show some compassion. |
...mmm. |
...'bout ready to Mix it Up...? |
Is today Laundry Day...? |
Someone's bringing in a kitten...? |
No, no, no.... we'll punch <u>in</u> a kitten. Um... <u>Later</u>. |
...you're gonna Punch in a Kitten Later. |
Yes. |
Why...? |
A wider option of what? |
...of kittens... |
The Special AntiTerrorist Detachment of the Border Patrol... what do they <u>do</u>...? |
...they... <u>you</u> know... |
Oh huh... |
...they have the capacity to Meld into the <u>Woods</u>, and... |
And one of them is in love with the <u>sister</u> of... |
I'm just talking about the Hats. |
The hats. |
A beret. |
Why a beret? |
Cause you can crush it and put it in your pocket. |
"...the special detachment..." Good! What is it? |
With their berets... |
...their Leopard Skin Berets.... |
I need a ruling on the Hats. I say a Leopardskin, and... |
Hey, <u>you're</u> getting the big bucks.... I think we're upandrunning... |
What would be true, then. |
Well, you said it yourself, earlier, and if I may rephrase, that the success of the President, in the Polls... |
...as of today, 89% favorable. |
Eighty<u>nine</u> percent favorable, is based not on <u>events</u>... |
...by you? |
By the media, by, yes, by, in this case, our organization. |
Well, there's a lot to be said for that. And I'm going to show a clip. You've seen it before, you've seen it <u>many</u> times... But I'm going to ask you to look at it once more. With the election one day off, and the President's standing in the polls... |
It's tough to rhyme. |
I believe in you.... |
Albania, Albania, Albania, James bond Villains. |
John Belushi... <u>Jim</u> Belushi... |
Jim Belushi...? |
Surest thing you know. |
They guard our, <u>you</u> know ... "borders," night and day... |
Yeah, good good good good good. And They're <u>So</u> <u>Secret</u>... |
I have the White House on the Line. |
...one minute: Demille needs an elephant for a reshoot. |
...the Suitcase Bomb. ACT ONE Albania denies it. President comes on the air, "Be Calm." Okay, now: Good. Now, Alright. Act <u>TWO</u>... I need the following here. Right now: Johnnie Green, Liz Butsky, and get me the Fad King. |
Isn't Johnny Green in the... |
No, he's back in Nashville. |
Public Domain. |
And what? What? She was Driven From Her Home, by Albanian Terrorists. It is her we are mobilizing to defend... it is "she"? |
Wearemobilizingtodefend<u>her</u>. |
Can we give'er a <u>kitten</u>? |
No problem. Here's the... |
I didn't ask for a dog. |
...the pet wrangler suggested it..he's also got a... |
Do it later... Okay, now, "The Little Girl," who is she, what is she doing? She is....she's ...Okay, okay, it's an Albanian village... She is the victim of, she has been <u>relocated</u>, to, to, for the <u>terrorists</u>, the Government Labs...the, the... a <u>staging</u> area for their Atomic workshop. They're torturing her family, because they have connections in Canada, which would permit the terrorists access to the American Border. |
Better. |
You like it? |
Yes. |
Fine. Good. |
Why can't it be a ribbon? |
It can't be a ribbon cause AIDS had a ribbon, cause the Yellow Ribbon thing had a ribbon, cause... |
Uh...uh... Mounties. The Mounties Guard The Border. uh... those Mountie Hats. |
They look stupid. |
We had Davy Crockett hats... They made a fortune. |
We had Davy Crockett hats, but you could <u>crush</u>'em ... you could <u>crush</u>'em, see, when you felt stupid. Crush'em, put em in your Pocket. You can't put a Mountie hat in your... |
Shoes, Hats.... |
The special hats of the Special Antiterrorist detachment of the Border Patrol. |
Black... |
Leopard Skin... |
Well, <u>that</u> ain't very butch, is it? |
It's a <u>beret</u>... |
...I meant the Leopard Skin... |
British Regiments drape their drums in Leopard Skins. |
Thank God this is America. |
Look, look, look, look, Canada, okay...? Our neighbor to the North, alla sudden, transformed, into That Place, where, like the North Wind, <u>Terror</u> comes... |
Keep Talking.... |
What guards Us Against Canada...? |
...what am I <u>doing</u>? Do you see me working...? Here's what you want to do, you want to come out of the box, an item, someone 'ready <u>has</u>, but <u>then</u> you sell it to'em. Torn <u>jeans</u>, uh ... faded Levi Jackets, uh... uh... |
Where are we on the Image? Grace? <u>Grace</u>... |
Headshots. Girls to play the girl in our footage. I like the sorrowful one. Anybody Else....? |
...what is this? |
I go with this here... |
Too Texan. Go with the stick. Thanks. <u>What</u>...? ...does it have to be <u>Albania</u>...We're locked into Albania...why? |
Bunny: I had an idea: a Slinky, that falls <u>Up</u>... Naa, we can figure that <u>out</u>. What I'm wondering: what do we <u>call</u> it... You got my number... |
Why are they ... |
We got the guy, we got the guy, we got the Guy! |
The Canada Thing was a shuck. A <u>shuck</u> wasted a day. What can you do with Canada? Bears, mapleleafs, "sugar onSnow." Lays there on the plate like a lox. |
It's like those Japanese in the Caves on Okinawa... didn't believe the War was Over. |
You got a guy, doesn't believe the War is... NO NO NO. An American Serviceman... A brave American Serviceman, is Left <u>Behind</u> ... He is Left Behind. He is discarded like an Old Shoe... Gemme the Pentagon. List of people in all Military Special Programs.... Left behind. Like the Old Shoe... Johnny: "Good Old Shoe"... |
...what do you got? |
Military Special Programs... <u>Programs</u>... No, I am not Shouting at you, I'm... I'm sorry. Anyone named <u>Shoe</u> Schumann? <u>Schuster</u>... uh |
All part of the Service we Render. |
He ain't seen <u>nothin'</u> yet. |
When do you bring'em back? Schumann. |
Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my shirts, show him a little treat. |
See y'at the Finish Line. |
Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me. |
Don't tune it too good. |
Leave it flat, will you, Ben? |
William Schuman. Old Shoe. U.S. Army. Serial number, 21312841262. |
Take ten. |
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