text
string | humour_label
int64 | language
string |
|---|---|---|
Have you heard the one about the jump rope? Meh... Just skip it.
| 0
|
en
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Who is such a good bot? Not the ones found here
| 0
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en
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I spend half of my time thinking about fractions Well, not exactly half....
| 1
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en
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What did Delaware? Maybe a New Jersey? I don't know, but Alaska.
| 1
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en
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are we dangerous? " yes " replied mother earth .
| 0
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en
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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With nachos.
| 1
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en
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Everyone has a photographic memory, some don't have film.
| 1
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en
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new pet ideas: an egg with hair on, small bear, tictac size baby cats, frog with wheels
| 1
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en
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Q: What to you call Batman and Robin after they've been run over by a car? A: Flatman and Ribbon
| 0
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en
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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.
| 1
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en
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The only spanish I know is from the song Feliz Navidad, so these last few days have been my time to shine.
| 1
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en
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An elderly woman went to her local doctor's office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied
| 1
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en
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Ryan had to go potty real bad, but the door to the potty was Lochte.
| 0
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en
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what did the maple syrup farmer say when he saw a good looking maple tree? " i'd tap that . "
| 1
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en
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how many clickbait articles does it take to change a lightbulb? the answer may shock you .
| 0
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en
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What are the names of a women's favorite toys? Woody and Buzz
| 0
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en
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Why didn't the kid with autism go to the party? He didn't get invited
| 0
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en
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Guys. You can't make everyone happy, so just concentrate on me
| 0
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en
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What can you throw but cannot catch? A party.
| 0
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en
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What do you call a guy who falls into a Yellowstone hot spring? Stew.
| 1
|
en
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How do you make an apple puff? Chase it round the garden
| 0
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en
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some coworkers remind me of my ex, because i would jump in front of a bus to get out of a conversation with them too .
| 1
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en
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How do you call all the mods altogether with the people who lock the posts in a pool? Vegetative soup
| 1
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en
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What's the most consumed beverage by Syrians? Saltwater.
| 1
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en
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Wait, did this sub just get fixed? Not a joke, just curious to see actual jokes on the sub with no weird fanfic.
| 0
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en
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What's a Jewish person's favorite social media? Snipchat
| 0
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en
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did you hear about the depressed man going on a cross country road trip? he's weeping the nation .
| 1
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en
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My boss decided to give me some more responsibility. From now on, I'm responsible for everything that goes wrong
| 0
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en
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I'm setting more realistic New Year's resolutions this year, like never doing anything right and not pleasing my wife.
| 0
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en
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The rotation of Earth always makes my day. Makes my night too
| 0
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en
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my wife and i laugh about how competitive we are. but i laugh more
| 1
|
en
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Why did the belt go to jail? Because it held up a pair of pants.
| 1
|
en
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What is a Muslim version of burger king Burka King
| 1
|
en
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How did one gold atom greet the other gold atom? 'ey you.
| 0
|
en
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So much has changed since my girlfriend confessed me that she's pregnant. For example: My name, phone number, address etc.
| 1
|
en
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tifu by not having a picture of my pet ready on my cake day. what were you expecting to see here ?
| 0
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en
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What is an astronaut's favorite power tool? An orbital sander
| 1
|
en
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A magician was walking down the street. and he turned into a grocery store
| 0
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en
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what's your ringtone? that's nice , mine's a light shade of brown .
| 0
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en
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every time you talk to your wife, your mind should remember that threedots ' this conversation will be recorded for training and quality purpose '
| 0
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en
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I just called the tinnitus hotline... It wouldn't stop ringing!
| 0
|
en
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Ah, the plot thickens It's me... I'm the plot
| 0
|
en
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Did anyone else go into Monsters, Inc. thinking it was going to be a movie about a really big sink?
| 0
|
en
|
What do you call a priest that's also a lawyer? A father in law
| 1
|
en
|
Whats the difference between a girl's G spot and an old pokemon card collection? A guy will spend as much time as it takes to find the pokemon cards...
| 0
|
en
|
What's the difference between a good meal and a good time? What you do with the body
| 1
|
en
|
guys , i'm quitting halloween. i'm on the pumpkin patch !
| 0
|
en
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SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE John: I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. Did you? Bob: I'm not sure. What was your wife's maiden name
| 0
|
en
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Why did the spotted pigs run away? They thought the traveling salesman told the farmer to put his name on the dotted swine.
| 1
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en
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What do you call two debunked ghost sightings? A pair'a'normal activities.
| 1
|
en
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What are the two favorite english alphabets of a pianist? Piano.
| 1
|
en
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What movie did Leonardo DiCaprio's dog recently star in? The Woof of Wall Street.
| 0
|
en
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my wife tells me im always too negative well, doesnt that make me a positive ?
| 0
|
en
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Student: I'll never be good at geography. Geography teacher: Not with that latitude!
| 1
|
en
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How can you tell when it's time to go to bed at Michael Jacksons house? When the big hand touches the little hand
| 0
|
en
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Wanna hear a funny monkey joke? Macaque.
| 0
|
en
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The name's Bondjamesbond. James Bondjamesbond
| 0
|
en
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What do fish call a submarine? Unidentified Floating Object
| 1
|
en
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how many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb? well it depends on what you mean by change .
| 1
|
en
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what ' secret ingredient ' do you add to your meals in order to improve the taste? i cumin it .
| 0
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en
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Did you know that Princess Diana was on the radio? Well she was also on the dashboard and the steering wheel
| 1
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en
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Billions of locusts swarm through Africa. "The sight was terrifying" Said one of the locusts
| 1
|
en
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"Welcome back, happy New Year!" "Thank you!" "Welcome!" And that's the last time I'm taking Bollywood movie suggestions from my friends.
| 0
|
en
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" hey babe , you smell that? " " no . " " me neither , start cooking .
| 0
|
en
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I wanted to make a chemistry joke. But I'm too basic
| 1
|
en
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I bought a Chris Brown's greatest hits album. It was just a bunch of Rihanna songs
| 1
|
en
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if you still talk about it, you still care about it .
| 0
|
en
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Dogs can't operate an MRI. But cats can
| 1
|
en
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Raise your right hand if you were home schooled. No, your other right hand
| 0
|
en
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What's the first rule of bug ownership? Watch your step!
| 0
|
en
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what is similar between Pink Floyd and Princess Diana Their greatest hits were the wall
| 1
|
en
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why don't men do laundry? cause the washer and dryer don't run on remote control !
| 0
|
en
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What supporter was the only thing that couldn't save Stephen Hawking? Life Support.
| 0
|
en
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good news everyone! i've found another person who's voice you can hear in your head when reading one single phrase threedots and his name is john cena
| 0
|
en
|
What do you call a nursing home with a buffet? A Golden Corral.
| 1
|
en
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Owning a restaurant in India is hard, the locals hold a grudge against me but we finally came to a mutual agreement. No beef now.
| 1
|
en
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what do you call the sound a ghost makes when he calls you? a phone moan .
| 1
|
en
|
Test Testing if lock still works
| 1
|
en
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are you alone? because you're showing high interest .
| 0
|
en
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How do you say unicorn in Spanish? Unamaize
| 0
|
en
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The rooster tried to pass himself off as a hen.. .. but he didn't have an egg to stand on.
| 1
|
en
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why does snoop dogg carry an umbrella? for drizzle
| 1
|
en
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i went to a record shop and i asked ' what have you got by the doors? ' he said : ' a bucket of sand and a fire blanket ! '
| 1
|
en
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"Dad why do you write so slow? " asked Dennis. "I have to" replied his father. "I'm a slow reader."
| 1
|
en
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I used to be a banker. But I lost interest in the job
| 1
|
en
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What did the cashew say to the sneezing peanut? "Yes, what is it?"
| 1
|
en
|
My computer is quick to point out when I eject a disk improperly, but never notices when I've ejected a disk beautifully.
| 1
|
en
|
why couldn't spongebob get a mortgage? because his house was underwater .
| 0
|
en
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The most popular game in Africa Don't Starve
| 1
|
en
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what is the definition of stalking? when two people takes a long , romantic walk on the beach , but only one of them knows about it
| 1
|
en
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My favorite Indian restaurant is going through hard times, and had to fire some employees.. .. Just Naan essential staff.
| 1
|
en
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My friend got me a sweater for Christmas. I would have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but she did the trick
| 1
|
en
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what did god say when he threw the earth in a dark void, abandoning us to our eventual death while in perpetual free fall? kobe.
| 0
|
en
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My ears were ringing, so I pressed keys on the piano to find out what note it was. There was a B buzzing in my ears
| 1
|
en
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Did you know that a school shooter is often the best student in his school? At the latest when he becomes the only one.
| 1
|
en
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Herpes had to originate from a female. Otherwise it would be called, hispes
| 1
|
en
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A man walks into a bar with some tarmac under his arm. And said: "one for me and one for the road"
| 1
|
en
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q : what do you get if you cross the atlantic with the titanic? a : about halfway .
| 0
|
en
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What's Ellen Pao's husband's favourite web plugin? Ponzi Buddy.
| 0
|
en
|
does a cow give milk? no , they have to take it from her
| 1
|
en
|
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