text stringlengths 0 90 |
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not how this works. We bank our moments for those |
moments when life is disappointing. |
TRAVIS: I know a unique substance when I see it, |
I’ll take one as well. |
TALIESIN: Oh my god. |
MARISHA: One for me too. |
TALIESIN: This can come in handy in all sorts of |
ways. |
MATT: God damn it, guys. |
TALIESIN: The fact that you had this ready means |
that there is no shame here. You were ready for this. |
MATT: You’re right, I am not making any of this up |
on the spot at all. |
TALIESIN: I know, I can tell! |
LIAM: This guy went from the Simpson’s Safeway |
clerk to the shadiest motherfucker in a snap of |
time, because of your question. |
TALIESIN: A big, purple, pierced demon walked into |
the room and was like, hello. |
LIAM: Yes, can I help you, good sir? Yes, I can |
help you. |
TRAVIS: I’ll tell you what, because you are such a |
purveyor of such interesting items, I will take |
one of those health potions, but for 50 gold. |
That’s the running price I’ve seen in neighboring |
towns, and I don’t mean to be swindled. |
MARISHA: I assume you’d want to go ahead and give |
it to us for that so that we keep this a secret. |
MATT: Make a persuasion check, with advantage. |
TRAVIS: 21. |
MATT: “50 gold,” and he pulls his hair back a bit, |
“Seems fair.” Takes a potion and hands it over. He |
scoops a little vial and says, “And for fun.” He |
throws it over. |
LIAM: You fucking badass. |
SAM: Cut to an hour later, and someone’s jamming |
an adrenaline needle. |
MATT: TPK by misuse? |
TALIESIN: Somewhere around level eight, this is |
going to be hilarious. Somewhere around level |
eight somebody’s going to go shopping and the rest |
of us are going to be like: this is now, this is |
happening now. |
MATT: This has become the longest afterschool |
special I think we’ve ever experienced. |
TALIESIN: Years in the making. |
MATT: He immediately gets nervous at her mention |
of– |
TALIESIN: She’s fine, she’s just awful, you’re a |
gentleman, I hope to see you again. I’m looking |
forward to this. |
MATT: “I’ll be here.” |
TALIESIN: Of course, we never met you, you never |
met us. |
MATT: “Of course not. I don’t know who you are.” |
TALIESIN: I am already out the door, with a |
flourish. |
MATT: At which point, you run outside just as |
Caleb and Nott are approaching. |
MARISHA: Before I go out I say, nice to meet you, |
mister–? |
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