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AUNT PETUNIA: Marge! How lovely to see…
HARRY: Uncle Vernon. I need you to sign this form.
UNCLE VERNON: What is it?
HARRY: Nothing. School stuff
UNCLE VERNON: Later perhaps. If you behave.
HARRY: I will if she does.
AUNT MARGE: You still here, are you?
HARRY: Yes.
AUNT MARGE: Don't say 'yes' in that ungrateful way.
AUNT MARGE: Damn good of my brother to keep you.
AUNT MARGE: He'd have been straight to an orphanage if he'd been dumped on my doorstep.
AUNT MARGE: Is that my Dudders?
AUNT MARGE: Is that my little neffy-pooh?
AUNT MARGE: Give us a kiss. Come on. Up, up.
UNCLE VERNON: Take Marge's suitcase upstairs.
HARRY: Okay.
AUNT MARGE: Finish that off for Mommy.
AUNT MARGE: Good boy, Rippy-pooh.
UNCLE VERNON: Can I tempt you, Marge?
AUNT MARGE: Just a small one.
AUNT MARGE: Excellent nosh, Petunia.
AUNT MARGE: A bit more.
AUNT MARGE: Usually just a fry-up for me, what with 12 dogs.
AUNT MARGE: Just a bit more. That's a boy.
AUNT MARGE: You wanna try a little drop of brandy?
AUNT MARGE: A little drop of brandy-brandy windy-wandy for Rippy-pippy-pooh?
AUNT MARGE: What are you smirking at?
AUNT MARGE: Where did you send the boy, Vernon?
UNCLE VERNON: St. Brutus'. It's a fine institution for hopeless cases.
AUNT MARGE: Do they use a cane at St. Brutus', boy?
HARRY: Oh, yeah.
HARRY: Yeah. I've been beaten loads of times.
AUNT MARGE: Excellent. I won't have this namby-pamby...wishy-washy nonsense about not beating people who deserve it.
AUNT MARGE: You mustn't blame yourself about how this one turned out.
AUNT MARGE: It's all to do with blood.
AUNT MARGE: Bad blood will out.
AUNT MARGE: What is it the boy's father did, Petunia?
AUNT PETUNIA: Nothing. He didn't work.
AUNT PETUNIA: He was unemployed.
AUNT MARGE: And a drunk too, no doubt?
HARRY: That's a lie.
AUNT MARGE: What did you say?
HARRY: My dad wasn't a drunk.
AUNT MARGE: Don't worry. Don't fuss, Petunia.
AUNT MARGE: I have a very firm grip.
UNCLE VERNON: I think it's time you went to bed.
AUNT MARGE: Quiet, Vernon. You, clean it up.
AUNT MARGE: Actually, it's nothing to do with the father.
AUNT MARGE: It's all to do with the mother.
AUNT MARGE: You see it all the time with dogs.
AUNT MARGE: If something's wrong with the bitch, then something's wrong with the pup.
HARRY: Shut up! Shut up!
AUNT MARGE: Right.
AUNT MARGE: Let me tell you...
AUNT MARGE: Vernon! Vernon! Vernon, do something!
UNCLE VERNON: Stop!
UNCLE VERNON: I've got you, Marge. I've got you.
UNCLE VERNON: Hold on, hold on.
UNCLE VERNON: Get off.
AUNT MARGE: Don't you dare!
UNCLE VERNON: Sorry.
AUNT PETUNIA: Oh, Vernon.
UNCLE VERNON: Oh, God. Marge!
UNCLE VERNON: Please! Marge! Come back!
UNCLE VERNON: You bring her back!
UNCLE VERNON: You bring her back now.
UNCLE VERNON: You put her right!
HARRY: No. She deserved what she got.
HARRY: Keep away from me.
UNCLE VERNON: You can't do magic outside school.
HARRY: Yeah? Try me.
UNCLE VERNON: They won't let you back now.
UNCLE VERNON: You've nowhere to go.
HARRY: I don't care.
HARRY: Anywhere is better than here.
STAN SHUNPIKE: Welcome to the Knight Bus...emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard.
"
STAN SHUNPIKE": "
My name is Stan Shunpike, and I will be your conductor for this evening."
STAN SHUNPIKE: What you doing down there?
HARRY: I fell over.
STAN SHUNPIKE: What you fall over for?
HARRY: I didn't do it on purpose.
STAN SHUNPIKE: Well, come on, then.
STAN SHUNPIKE: Let's not wait for the grass to grow.
STAN SHUNPIKE: What you looking at?
HARRY: Nothing.
STAN SHUNPIKE: Well, come on, then. In.
STAN SHUNPIKE: No, no, no. I'll get this.
STAN SHUNPIKE: You get in.
STAN SHUNPIKE: Come on. Come on. Move on, move on.
STAN SHUNPIKE: Take her away, Ern.
SHRUNKEN HEAD: Yeah, take it away, Ernie.
SHRUNKEN HEAD: It's going to be a bumpy ride.
STAN SHUNPIKE: What did you say your name was?
HARRY: I didn't.
STAN SHUNPIKE: Where abouts are you headed?
HARRY: he Leaky Cauldron. That's in London.
STAN SHUNPIKE: "You hear that? ""The Leaky Cauldron. That's in London."""
SHRUNKEN HEAD: The Leaky Cauldron.