id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
job9h65rrCiu8prArkvlrltPNjk72i9T | a6xbyz | {
"description": "not covering shifts for my coworker/friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not covering shifts for my coworker/friend? | My boyfriend got in a really bad car accident and broke lots of bones. Everything’s been really stressful (obviously) - it was also finals week and I’ve just never been in this type of situation before. I’m pretty good friends with this coworker too, so she knew exactly what was going on.
Unsure if this is relevant, but I just happened to have a lot of days off when this whole thing started, so I’ve been at the hospital every single day since. My coworker texted me a few times to see how my boyfriend was doing and to also vent about the annoying things that have been happening at work. That being said, a couple of days ago she asked if I could work, which I said no. Fast forward to today she asks me if I can work some days, and I said no again. From looking at the schedule, I’m assuming it’s so she can have a break in between? I told her I really don’t want to come across as bitchy and unhelpful, but it hasn’t even been a week since my boyfriend has been in the hospital. On top of that, our job has been really stressful lately and I just can’t have that added to everything else that’s going on.
Thoughts? Since we’re good friends I would really hate to be the asshole here.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
TObVWvumV8Rt0f6vVcU8acHYGlv02Tvm | b51vxs | {
"description": "leaving my employer a year after completing a $240k scholarship they gave me",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for leaving my employer a year after completing a $240k scholarship they gave me. | I have been with my current employer for 9 years 3 months. I started out with them as an apprentice which took 4 years to complete, on conclusion I was appointed a tradesman’s position.
Shortly after I applied for a scholarship that the company used to offer which provided a wage of $50k per year to study at university full time with all fees paid which amounted to about $40k. I was successful in the application process which always had a huge amount of interest from all employees. The degree I chose took 4 years to complete, and during university holidays I was to work at the company. I moved 5 hours away from the town I completed my apprenticeship in to attend university, and there was a depot for the company also in this town.
On completion of my degree, I entered the company’s graduate program. I completed my first graduate rotation within the company at the same town which I attended university at, and I have also just started my next rotation at the same depot in a different business section.
About halfway through my degree, the company I worked for ownership changed along with the goals and how business was conducted. There is now a massive focus to run the majority of the business out of one depot which is in a major city, 3 hours away from where I currently live. The past 5 graduates have been forced to this location to further their careers and get off the graduate program which is only supposed to be 2 years long, however there have been graduated stuck on the program for up to 6 years. Also, the opportunities that have arisen are in project management, which is not a career path I wish to go down. I wish to remain in a more technical role as I am now. Concluding this current graduate rotation I have the impression that I will be made to move to the city depot 3 hours away.
In the last 5 years, I have met a girl who I will marry who’s work and family is in the town we currently live in. With the uncertainty of the location of my career, it’s starting to put a lot of stress on our relationship. We both want to buy a house in our current town, we couldn’t afford to buy a house in the major city the depot is in, and we want to settle down and have kids shortly (I’m 28 btw).
I applied for an external job and was successful which will keep me in my current town and is also a lot more money than what I’m currently on. I’ve yet to give my notice to my current employer. I know that I was an investment for their company however our interests aren’t aligned anymore.
Am I the asshole for putting myself first? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
l4Hnjcz5Daoaqz4vc6TlQILdk4eKbsTK | amxr4j | {
"description": "being mad at my mother over finances",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being mad at my mother over finances? | I am a minor incase that matter in the story.
So a couple months ago I had completed my work for a job over the summer in late August. I had earned a little under $1000 over the course of the 3 months I had worked there, and it being a labor intensive job I felt like that money was very hard earned. Over the course of up until about 3 months ago, I had spent about 400 of it on various things over the course of that time, and that leads to the point where my mother had come in.
Me and my mom had been struggling with finances over a very long time. My parents split a while back over finances, and we had been living in various places over the last couple of years. We were in a hotel up until renting the place we currently have, which is pretty much a duplex in a set of 3. I was very proud of what my mom had done for me and what she was able to accomplish especially with her low credit score and financial instability. That was until the incident that occurred relating back to my saved money.
Turns out my mother had not been able to pay the rent for the house for the month of December, and she ended up asking me for the money. Now considering how rough of a spot asking me this put me in, as I didn't want to upset her or lose the house, I ended up giving it to her. Now what irks me isn't the fact that I gave her the money, I would have done that in a heartbeat, what irks me is 3 things. 1) I was left in the dark of our financial situation up until this point, where I was kinda asked out of the blue for the money. I knew we were struggling but I didn't know it was THAT bad. If she had told me I would've looked for another job to help contribute to the house, utilities, etc. 2) I haven't seen any of the money or my possessions back. I loaned her that money, with a promise of seeing it back, over 2 months ago and I haven't seen any of it back. Nor have I seen the stuff that has been put away in storage, or the things that are stowed away in my grandmothers house (which is currently unavailable to us due to a falling out but that's a different story.) 3) I am still performing my duties as a person who lives in this house, i.e. cleaning, organizing, taking trash out, rubbing her back daily due to her back problems, etc.
Its at a certain point that I begin to feel used and not properly loved or compensated for what I'm doing to ease mine and my mother's stress. There's a lot of tension in the house and I am not sure If I am to blame myself, my mother, if its both of our faults or neither. It's been so difficult getting to here and I still love her for what she's done, but I don't want to ruin another relationship with a family member because I don't feel appreciated.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
3KYEludMTDbPcw2Pcf7EKkM7P6qreG4c | ad39ls | {
"description": "trying to get revenge on a cheater",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for trying to get revenge on a cheater? | I was a friend with benefits with a guy, we were sex partners but things weren't serious between us. One day, this stranger messages me and tells me that she's his girlfriend and he's been cheating on her with me. I guess she found his texts. I was furious with him, can't believe he did that shit. I wanted some revenge for her, I felt like it was my duty. I knew he had feelings for me, so I "confessed" my feelings to him. Over the next few days, he fell for the bait and I really sold him the idea that I loved him. After almost a week, after telling him how much I adored him and how amazing he was, I just told him his a scumbug and just straight ghosted him.
​
Apparently, from what I hear he was pretty hung up about that. Even a month later, he just messaged asking for an explaination as why I ghosted him, saying I owe it to him and he still thinks I actually loved him. I wonder if that was too cruel. Does he deserve any sympathy, am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
relioScXVTp7Cd2MgkmyBLLKRkTTcv3j | aro1wq | {
"description": "cutting off my friend of 7 years",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I cut off my friend of 7 years? | I’ve been friends with someone I’ll call H for nearly 7 years now, since we were little kids. We’ve always seen each other as inseparable, until at least 3 years ago. She moved away to a state nearly 700 miles away, and comes to visit every year. However, since then, she’s become increasingly unstable and depressed, to the point of serious self harm. She’ll constantly show me and our friend (I’ll call him B) self harm photos, and gets pissed at us if we “don’t get concerned enough” or if we tell her to get serious psychiatric help. I’ve had multiple breakdowns over seeing each photo, and it hurts to have her tell me that I “don’t care” or that “we were never meant to be friends”. B and I both see her as our best friend, and we would take bullets for her.
She’s grown more emotionally and even physically abusive as time goes on. A little over a year ago, when she came to visit, I stayed over at her house for the night. We were playing some game, I believe it was a form of tag, and she decided to pick me up and throw me on the ground. I’m barely 5 feet tall and weigh 70-ish pounds, I’ve always been rather stunted, so being literally thrown down by someone more than half a foot taller and 20 pounds heavier rattled the fuck out of me. My ankle ended up getting sprained and she got upset at me for “taking it too seriously.” Earlier the same day, she threatened to cut herself if I didn’t let her use her makeup on me. I despise using makeup and she knows it, it takes ages to clean off and I always end up with horrible acne afterwards. I got the same exact result.
Since B came out as gay back in late 2017, she’s mocked him and went as far as writing smut about him without his permission. He’s 13 years old. This has occurred far more than once. She’s even threatened to write smut of me if I didn’t go with her wishes, and nearly drew porn of me while trying to pass it off as someone else. When I came out as homoromantic/asexual, she mocked me as well, telling me that I’m just confused and that I can’t be asexual. After trying to tell her that not wanting to fuck people =/= confused, she gave a condescending reply and unfriended me.
Recently, H had a meltdown over me joking around with B about getting a girlfriend, and left all of our group chats. When we tried to contact her, she said things like “leave me alone” and “I don’t want to talk with you”. We decided to back off for the time being and shakily went back to what we were previously doing. When we invited her back to the chat, she had another meltdown about how we didn’t try contacting her enough and that we didn’t care, etc. I explained that since she explicitly said to not talk to her, we took that as, you know, not wanting to be talked to.
I’m at the end of my rope. Trying to help her is so emotionally draining, and that’s on top of finals and the stress of transitioning to another school. I can’t bend over backwards for her anymore, not when it means putting my physical and mental safety, as well as B’s, at risk. I’m so tired of being constantly stressed and anxious and having this feeling of impending doom loom over me 24/7. I can’t remember the last time my stomach wasn’t churning over these issues. She truly can be fun when she wants to be, and the 3 of us have had genuinely great times together. However I’m really feeling that the cons outweigh the pros, and that I’d be happier if I cut her off entirely. Would I be an asshole for doing so? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
hRq7fCawvXod1PZsBlhaMMRPjn27JTCl | anaqef | {
"description": "wanting my disabled brother to live in a mental home",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | Wibta if i want my disabled brother to live in a mental home | I have a twin brother that has low functioning autism and major OCD. When I'm doing anything I hear my brother squealing eeeeeeeeeeee all day and night. We try to give him an iPad but he knees them in half as soon as he gets flustered, and he's always flustered. If everything is not perfectly place exactly where it needs to be he'll be screaming and starts angrily biting his hand and starts grabbing for someone's neck. If that's not bad enough my nephew just keeps provoking him causing him to get flustered and guess who gets attaked, me. Am I the a hole if I want him to live somewhere that knows how to take care of him | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
KYiDMCuSBj4bKSLXI8aECjUaH8Hzuqvs | 9udfnt | {
"description": "asking my gf to let me sleep alone once to recover health",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For asking my gf to let me sleep alone once to recover health | Disclaimer : My english might be a bit chaotic.
Context : We're students and both living in really small rooms with a single bed each, one minute from each other. We're back from a one-week holiday week from her parents' home where we slept in a king size bed.
I had a terrible night where I slept only 1h and a half, followed by another uncomfortable night making me feel heavy in the morning. So I asked her to let me recover for a night where I could sleep way better, and I did.
But now, she's calling me an egoist and pretending I'm rejecting her only because I don't like spending time with her.
It sounds ridiculous, but I'm actually tired of these kind of arguments between us and I want to know if AITA or if she's overreacting? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
6ng0mufdQmK1yfG3Wz3678848S8Hm0R7 | aforvk | {
"description": "regifting something as long as I don't tell the gifter",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for regifting something as long as I don’t tell the gifter? | Throwaway here, LTL, FTP, etc. I don’t care about karma or anything, I just need to hear a final judgement from an outside source so that I can see more clearly.
The practical background is that my aunt gifted me an Echo Dot (~$25) for my recent birthday. I’m in college and have very little use for one. Even after trying it, I decided it isn’t for me. I’m thinking of giving it to one of my friends who has expressed interest in having an Echo Dot (in general).
The other part of the background is my thoughts and emotions. I feel really guilty because I’m pretty close to my aunt and she always gives wonderful gifts. I would never tell her unless she asked outright and would hint instead that “Oh, I don’t use it much but my friends and I like using it.” Maybe it is for validation, but I’ve always felt guilty at showing even the slightest discontent with any gift, let alone regifting one. I also feel guilty because my dog chewed on it a little bit and while it still works, I get this sinking feeling every time I think about my aunt’s nice gift in comparison to how I feel about it.
I’ve talked briefly to my mom, but it’s her sister that I’m asking about so I don’t want to get her involved too much. I’m trying to make my own decision but I still find it difficult.
TL;DR AITA if I regift an Echo Dot to one of my friends who has expressed interest in having one (in general)? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
drsT4fvHxIVuFka2Q9qoIUMdfT65Hmin | ay1doy | null | AITA for impersonated a character on Internet and made my friends believed he was real? | (sorry for the grammar, English isn't my first language)
I was 14 and just discovered Internet. I had a blog where I was writing texts, poetry, sometimes fiction... And one day, I created another blog. With a fake name, email, everything, and start writing like it was a diary.
I used this account to sometimes comment on my official blog. I wanted my friends to think I had friends outside school, you know? Like, a mysterious friend nobody knew about. It was a stupid teenager idea. And it worked.
But then some friends started to read this fictional blog and they were moved by his life. He had a sad and creepy life. Because I was 14 and was writing fiction. The kind of sad stories you like to read at this age.
They started talking to him. So I created a messenger account to talk to them... At school my friends would ask me about him, talk about the new article he wrote...
I didn't know how to stop. Sometimes I was online with both accounts to have conversations with my friends AND this imaginary guy everybody thought was real.
Then my mother found about it. She asked me to put an end to it quickly and said something about having my own computer to write stories. She said I should never implicate people in my fantasies. I was so ashamed and afraid to hurt anybody that I never told the truth to my friends.
It was more than ten years ago. But sometimes I think about it and how today I can't stand lies and mascarades of any sorts. I've been manipulating so many times in human relationship that I am now someone who can't trust anyone. Is it a fair repayment for what I have done?
For some years my friends asked me about him. Why he was gone, why he stopped talking to them. They would always leave a link to their new blog when they shut the previous down. Today I think they all forget about it. But I can't be sure.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
K3XolK3h3zlyNs0Ym9G6VTmEDgY1kymu | b6tdtj | {
"description": "bringing my dog home resulting in him getting attacked",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for bringing my dog home resulting in him getting attacked? | this just happened, im in the emergency vet waiting room as i type this.
my roommate is watching her friends dog for the weekend and she told me she is watching the dog, Ford, at her friends during the day and will text me when she is bringing him so I can put my dog away since Ford is not good with other dogs.
She texted me about an hour ago saying shes about to bring ford over. i responded "im at wills (my boyfriend) so if you bring him now thats perfect" i completely forgot about this because i was thinking they were asleep for the night so i just walked right into my house, Milo leashless.
Will and I walk in and I immediately see Ford, but didnt quite panic because Milo has yet to not get along with a dog. It literally was the blink of an eye before Ford was completely on top of Milo biting his neck pinning him against the floor. Milo is crying and Will went to grab Ford but he didnt have any collar on so he was grabbing at whatever he could. We both kept trying to get in between but Ford was very likely going to bite us. I just looked at Will and said I dont know we just have to do something. So I just pushed my body in between them and I felt Ford jumping on my back and thankfully right then Will was able to get a good grab around Fords chest and pull him back. I got Milo and realized Ford had bit off his collar so I had to pick up this 55lb dog while shaking from adrenaline. I didnt know where to go so I just ran into the girls room on the first floor.
I stayed in that room for a while. Will came in right after and I was waiting for one of them to text me to tell me it was all good to bring Milo upstairs. Nothing at all so I figure that they must have just taken him out the front door and just away as fast as possible. Will went to check and said they were all locked in her room.
I hadnt even looked up during it so I had immediately texted my roommate "omg i feel bad i thought you were going to bed" but then Will had told me that the whole time they were petting Ford while Will was trying to wrangle him off me and Milo and saying "its okay, you're okay" to the dog. I mean there was no way to misinterpret that as Ford being attacked. Hes 95lbs and couldnt even be stopped by a 6ft guy.
I checked my phone and my friend texted back saying "thats not what i said i said im bringing him over wtf you should have texted me that you were bringing Milo here" Here? you mean to my house? when you told me Ford would only be here to sleep and thats it? Also she specified to me that he was bad with dogs, so she should have at the very least had a collar on him while he was in a house that has a dog living in it.
i dont know what to do because i dont feel like i did anything wrong really just an overall miscommunication, but there reaction to it is making me upset and thinking that this is my fault. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
VvLtQ3u166jaeBI0fimAZ3VHru5LEnhl | am0049 | {
"description": "wanting a birthday to myself",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for wanting a birthday to myself? | I have had one birthday party in my life. I've wanted to have a celebration for my birthday for several years now, but I have a friend whose birthday is just a few days after mine, and he always has a party on the weekend before our birthdays.
A couple years ago, he suggested that we have a double party, and I accepted, but by the time the month of our birthdays came around he had forgotten and had made plans that didn't include me. The next year, I was going to hold my own party and announce it first, but he announced his party six months in advance.
It wouldn't be as much of a problem if we didn't have so many mutual friends, but most of my friends are his as well, and don't want to go to two different birthday parties on the same weekend or a week apart.
AITA for wanting my own birthday party? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
htEJ0o5naXYzu9RqD5IQqQi0mOlg2w04 | aey5f8 | {
"description": "being mad at my friend recommending another person for the same job I'm going for",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for being mad at my friend recommending another person for the same job I'm going for? | My friend works at a growing company that has great pay, benefits, easy workload, all this stuff I've been looking for. I've been down on my luck in the job market, resorting to doing rideshare apps for money. He told me that a position is opening up at his company, and I should apply. I sent him my resume to look over, which he did. He referred me to the hiring managers, and I got a phone interview.
​
The phone interview went well, but I only got accepted to the next part of the process because of his referral, an in person interview, meaning there are probably applicants with prior experience in the field. I'm very, reasonably, nervous for this and he has been giving me tips and information on everything that happened when he interviewed there.
​
Now, this guy is my best friend and I know he would never intentionally screw me over. We've been friends for years, and he knows how badly I need this job. However, I know him to be a compulsive liar, a trait that has gotten better over the many years I've known him.
​
The other day he said his friend just got done interviewing there and he would send me the info from that interview. The next exchange went like this. I'll call him Rob.
Me: Interviewed for my position?
Rob: Yes, yes.
Me: Damn.
Me: What friend?
Rob: Someone from (prior workplace, meaning prior experience in field). She's the only (PW) person I've pushed through this round because she got back to me before you did.
​
This can't be true, He told me about the job on a Friday night, and I gave him my resume Sunday. This means he told this other person about the job either before me, which sucks, as we've been friends for like 7 years and this person ayear at best, and only through work, or AFTER he told me which REALLY sucks cause then I feel like he really doesn't give a shit at all.
IDK. I've been asking about having a job at his place for a few months and he's always responded really positively. We've been working together on it for a while. For him to give other people a chance at the job I know isn't inherently wrong, but I feel I\*'ve been sabotaged, and by my best friend too. If you were trying to get your best friend hired somewhere, would you also try to get other people hired too? Same postiton? Same interview cycle? Doesn't that seem shady? AITA for being mad at this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
CKCPuxIF281zjd1eiXNeFg0Kp74mCK62 | atz05z | {
"description": "being hurt by my daughter's name change",
"pronormative_score": 32,
"contranormative_score": 24
} | AITA for being hurt by my daughter's name change | My wife kept her last name when we married, but we gave my last name to our children. My daughter changed her name to her husband's when she got married. They are now in the process of a divorce.
My daughter mentioned today that she wants to change her last name not back to my name, but to her mother's name. She wants to honor everything my wife has done for her.
I'm a little hurt by this and told her so. She's free to do as she pleases, but the presentation of it all just makes it feel like she values her mother's contribution over mine. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 24,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 23,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 32,
"WRONG": 24
} | RIGHT |
gc5IqAHuAi0sKCSmh4hhVoHaKqnvd0mz | b7jvbe | {
"description": "accadently telling my friend he is annoying, and kinda fucking out relationship up",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for accadently telling my friend he is annoying, and kinda fucking out relationship up. | so one of my good friends is slightly annoying.
we where talking about noodles and what type we would buy for dinner, I then had to endure a 5 minute talk about how prisoners only get noodles and how the prison system is fucked. it's like that with EVERYTHING.
he is super passionate about the prison system and will add it into conversations any chance he can.
he also has to have an opinion on everything, he believes that modern cartoons are bad because they skimp on the animation and only make cartoons to appeal to kids.
he also watched 2 YouTube videos on eating healthy and now tells me how you can loose weight and acts like he has a degree in science.
image this with everything he says.
we decided to hang out and he drowns on about the prison system and I just said oh god your annoying can we talk about something else, he walked off and wont talk to me.
AITA
i feel I'm the asshole but want your judgment.
this happend last week | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
bslz1pModpA0gRV4yHhY315bZz2qEKo3 | 9wkaos | null | WIBTA if about 10-15 yrs down the line, I never tell my parents about my wedding or invite them | The day after a relative's wedding, we were in the car, and my mom tells me "When you get married, you have to marry a korean catholic woman."
I ask "What if I love a chinese woman?"
She says it's not okay
WIBTA if I plan to not tell them about it, knowing that my mother would be judgmental and WIBTA if I believed that my mom would try to sabotage the wedding if it happened? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Coro7292GMObmKK80URBNoyJVpNIA9kY | 9v33lt | {
"description": "abandoning someone who needed me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for abandoning someone who needed me? | I'm still in high school, and in the beginning of september I started developing a friendship with a girl in my class. We listened to the same music, we had the same style of humor, liked same movies, etc. We were texting a lot, talking about our feelings and our hardships in life. Turns out, she had a really rough life, and was fighting with depression, but things were looking good for her, because she started visiting a psychiatrist. Because I was her only real friend, she would tell me about her problems. I listened to all of them, sometimes in text, sometimes in person, and tried to offer the help I could.
The problem was, that she told me that she would listen to my difficulties too, but everytime I tried to talk about mine, she would always bring up hers and we ended up talking about them, ignoring me completely.
Things were going like this for some time, and then one night when she was talking about how no one loves her and it would be better if she didn't exist, I told her that's not true, because during all the time we spent together I started developing feelings towards her. This shocked her, but she rejected me, and honestly, I was fine with it, because I didn't expect her to love me, I was okay with being her friend. Then, she told me that she needs some time alone, because she needs to process this, and for the next few days she kept her distance at school, and didn't talk to me.
After some time passed, she texted me and said that she was sorry about her behavior and if I wanted, we could still be friends. I accepted her offer, and for some time, everything was going fine, until for some reason she became really distant again and started ignoring me.
One thing that's really bugging me, is that during the first month of our friendship she told me that she needed me, because I was her only friend, and most of her family didn't care about her at all, and because of this I feel really bad because I know that I could help her if I really wanted,I just don't want to anymore.
The other thing is that I also had some problems of my own but every time I tried to talk about them, she would belittle them by comparing them to her problems.
So AITA in this scenario? I really can't tell anymore. And guys, please forgive my shitty grammar and bad writing skills!
| HISTORICAL | {
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POTyTkJ7t2lCdLNiwhdD8BwEgYH68jzY | ae6jmk | {
"description": "telling my girlfriend to stop touching me if shes doing something I don't like",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for telling my girlfriend to stop touching me if shes doing something I don't like? | Last night on the couch we are both sitting and watching a show and she goes to grab my hand. I'm thinking she wants to hold hands so I go to grab her hand and hold it but she pulls it away. She does this about 3 more times kind of quickly and I'm getting annoyed so I tell her not to touch me if shes going to do that. Suddenly she recoils back, looks at me like I shot her dog and scoots to the other couch cushion. She gets all quiet and we both just keep watching the show. Eventually she says that I really hurt her feelings with what I said and that I haven't even acknowledged how shes feeling. I said that I shouldn't have to apologize or walk on eggshells for telling her not to do something that's annoying me. I didn't raise my voice or push her away, all I said was don't touch me if you're going to do that. She gave me the cold shoulder the whole rest of the evening into the morning and on the drive in the morning shes STILL upset with me for not acknowledging her feelings. I said she was being emotionally abusive/controlling trying to get me to condemn my own actions when I feel justified just telling her I don't like something so don't keep doing it? So I want to know if I'm being an asshole for not entertaining her "feelings" about me telling her to stop doing something most would find annoying. I understand she may have thought she was being playful but it wasn't very fun for me so i told her to stop and she completely switched gears and thinks I don't care about her feelings at all now and it's blown way out of proportion. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
UlsGNxRg5F4AEiXXQVgnPjuPaxzVakHe | ay7qt7 | {
"description": "wanting a break before bedtime",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting a break before bedtime? | Background: I'm a stay at home mom. My darling husband works full time plus some in tech. He gets home every night around 5:30 or 6. Right when he gets home we all have dinner and then the babies go right in the bath and we start bedtime routines which usually last until about 7:30.
My complaint to my husband is that after dinner, I'd like to have a break. 10 min alone out in the garden to decompress from the day. My toddler doesn't nap anymore so this will literally be the first time since 6:30am that I get any time alone for the day. My husband drives home from work everyday and gets the 20 min drive alone and I think I should get a bit of time too. His argument is that the drive is not relaxing, it's his commute. I understand that he'd rather not be driving but it doesn't change the fact that he gets that 20 min alone before he faces bedtime with a toddler and a baby. He believes I shoud take my "break" when the kids are down like he feels he does.
Tell me Reddit, am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | NOBODY | {
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} | RIGHT |
V7elbZjMXapgoQLPwtgYShGh97a6pJyH | 9u821e | {
"description": "not challenging racist comments from an otherwise friendly shared ride driver",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not challenging racist comments from an otherwise friendly shared ride driver? | I picked up a shared ride drive from an airport in Northern Florida to get me to my destination (about 25 minute drive) . The driver was terrific; friendly, informative, and funny. It was a “big football game” weekend and he offered lots of ideas on how to make the most of my short trip with the family. All was fine until he mentioned places to avoid because “the Puerto Ricans have taken over” or because of all the “ghetto people”. I was shocked and just turned to my laptop and worked in silence. At the end of the ride I thanked him and entered a standard rating in the app because I did not want to jeopardize my own good rating. Now I think I should have taken a stand. AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 2,
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} | RIGHT |
wRVUqAuuhabmoZia6ceifY2j10sw6bVG | aignvm | {
"description": "not wanting to hang out with a good friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to hang out with a good friend? | Okay, so both us are into smoking weed but since we live with our parents it is not possible to do that at home. So we always look for some quiet/chill places in our city where we can smoke weed and get stoned, listen to music and sometimes enjoy a beer. We usually hang out in the evening since during daytime we have to work or go to school. Since a month or so it is freezing cold every day. During daytime it is max. 5 °C (41F) and in the evening and night it is -1°C (30F), but often colder (-5°C/23F). I explained multiple times to my friend that I think it's too cold outside to hang out, but he keeps asking this everyday. He always says that once we are outside it will be better than expected, but out of experience I know better. Also important: I am only one of his two friends, so he is quite lonely. That might also be the reason that he stubbornly asks to hang out everyday. I even said to him that we could go somewhere inside like a bar or so, but he always wants to hang out outside since he is quite shy and does not like it when there are other people around, because of the noise and possible interaction with strangers.
So my question is: **AITA** for not wanting to hang out with my quite lonely friend because I find it too cold outside? | HISTORICAL | {
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5HxGNBP2tlfO0laId3doA3d4nHDqMWbO | b18mo6 | {
"description": "wanting another dog, that attacked mine and wounded him, to be put down",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for wanting another dog, that attacked mine and wounded him, to be put down | Context
Moose, (husky) who is my fiancées and my dog, was playing with us and a few of his toys outside when Bolt (Pit-bull) came to have fun also.
Things got territorial when bolt was jealous of a toy moose had and went into fight moose. Not a low scale fight either. I tackled moose and pulled him off as my fiancée pulled bolt back. Moose would sit next to me but bolt came back and gashed him on his leg causing a large laceration.
We are at the vets now and I have cooled off but my first thoughts were to do anything to get rid of bolt. AITA | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
HsQ9PwHxZd26YBxKe4SjXiHx0rCkekrr | b6njst | {
"description": "not sending money or visiting my brother in prison",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not sending money or visiting my brother in prison? | So my brother is in prison for the second time.
Still love him, and when he calls me from prison I enjoy talking to him. But I don't want to spend a day of my life driving 4 hours to be with him for 1 hour. I've told him this and he brushes it of as if it's just a "dick move" no biggie.
I also refuse to send money to him because we live in a country with some of the best prisons, compared to the prisons in US this is a resort. I know they get fed like two times a day and they have to spend money for everything else like cigarettes and so on. They also get paid because they can get a job there. It's a pretty small amount but idc.
My mom says I'm wrong for behaving like this because he is my brother and I should help him in this time of need and be there for him. She says she can't tell me what to do with my money or time but that she would like me to help out once in a while.
So AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
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} | RIGHT |
aFkSml7FXG3I4UIMfTgNvc3msUrbuf6D | a7883x | {
"description": "ignoring my mom's phone calls",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for ignoring my mom's phone calls? | my mom calls me at least once everyday even though I've told her that I'd prefer to talk like 3 times a week. I feel bad about screening her calls because I know she's probably lonely. it's mostly because about a year and a half we were arguing and she told me to kill myself. it seems kinda insignificant but I've been struggling with major depression and suicidal ideation for a long time and it took months of encouragement from my therapist to tell her about it, and I had just told her about it a week or so before this incident. it was awful and it hurt terribly and I'm not really over it honestly. but yea she's been complaining that I don't talk to her as much as she'd like and that our relationship isn't like it used to be and I'm not sure if I should be over it by now. my friends always give me a hard time when she calls and I don't answer. I've told them about the situation in the past but maybe they don't remember or maybe I'm just supposed to not care about it anymore. I don't know
TLDR; my mom told me to kill myself a while ago and I'm not over it. am I shitty for avoiding her? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
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} | RIGHT |
yOJYVQOkgQ0a5Iyo1YaFKQKvDn1isMHQ | arduy0 | {
"description": "wanting him to show up",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting him to show up? | So slight context: this guy and I have already broken up. But I feel a little bad still... I’m white and I celebrate Christmas. He’s Asian and doesn’t (but used to when he was a kid).
Over Christmas I asked if he wanted to come down and spend it with me and my family. He agreed. My parents and I even bought him several gifts, but asked he come midday as we didn’t have the same number of gifts for him as we did for each other and our exchange students that live with us. He was asked to arrive at the GO station (a half hour drive from my house - but he can’t drive) by 2pm for me to go pick him up so I could get home in lots of time to relax before helping start Xmas dinner.
He told me no. Said it wasn’t realistic for him to get there for that time as it was too early and that’s when he usually wakes up (he’s unemployed and doesn’t like using alarms as they’re too “jarring” when they wake him up). So I said fine maybe come Boxing Day that way as long as your there before dinner at 6 you’re fine.
Boxing Day comes. He texts me at 3:30 he JUST woke up. It’s at least 3h of public transportation from his house to mine plus the half hour drive once I pick him up on the other side of the city. He then got mad at me for being upset with him. Said it’s not his fault he has a ‘sleep disorder’ (he does have sleeping problems but nothing diagnosed and he’s not doing anything to help himself either) and that it’s perfectly ok for him to show up after dinner and just have leftover without my family?
He then turned this issue into an entire relationship thing and kept demanding I break up with him so I got tired of fighting and just dumped him. I couldn’t take the guilting and catering to him anymore.
Am I an asshole?
| HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 8,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
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} | RIGHT |
MGTQI1WKTlRcq0L3LrhiP13ObZniuIQE | asy90k | {
"description": "making my younger sister cry",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for making my younger sister (12) cry? | okay, so this is my first reddit post in general, so i hope i'm doing this correctly.
​
so since my school is on february break, my family, my friends family, another one of my friends, and my mom's friend and her son are staying in our house out near the mountains. My sister and her friend (my friend's younger sister) are in one room upstairs, and me and my two friends are in the other.
​
my sister came into the room, and threw a bottle of jojo siwa hand soap at one of my friends, ill call him J. now, J was super chill about this, even despite the fact that he now has a gash not even an inch under his eye. i yelled at my sister, as she had been super testy for the past few days (disrespecting me, refusing to do things, ect.) and now she had injured my friend, even if he wasn't mad abt it. she started crying and i just kinda ignored her. i ended up going downstairs to grab a band-aid, only to be faced with my mother, who starts questioning me as to why i'm yelling at my sister and "being rude to her."
​
now at this point i'm fed up, and i just kind of shortly explain what happened, and asked for the band-aids. she ends up coming upstairs, and yelling at my sister, causing her to cry more, and sends her to bed.
​
AITA for making her cry in the first place? for bringing my mother down on her? she's still kinda crying nearly an hour later, and quite honestly, i'm kinda just done with the whole situation at this point. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
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} | RIGHT |
xkxLF0fdkOCs62OqOyb61Nsp1kEFan1X | axeaw7 | {
"description": "notifying friend about presence of her adult content in the internet",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for notifying friend about presence of her adult content in the internet? | I found an adult video of my female friend on internet via a friend. I first tried to notify her anonymously because I didn't want to create the awkwardness between us since we meet every day. She didn't do anything about the message and even mentioned to me about getting such spam message. Then I went ahead and told her those are not spam message and I send them.
​
I clearly said on the message that "I found a video clip of person that looks **awfully similar to her** and she might want to deal with it in case it was her". I didn't say it's you just to be safe in case my eyes deceived me.
​
She is in complete denial of that being her, which I am not pushing at all since my goal was just to notify her. Now she is acting all weird (which I can understand) and blaming me of accusing her of being on porn (which I never did nor was my intention).
​
Am I the bad person for bringing her personal life up? Should I have left it alone? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 6,
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"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
8Q9wBsDttxqEUHhw3qobCwBIraYNgA4M | asjftd | {
"description": "expecting my mom to pay",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for expecting my mom to pay? | So I'm starting esthetician school in a few months, and my grandparents are paying for it on the terms that I go to college after. Last week, my mom got her eyebrows done, and then after she made a casual remark about how soon I'll be waxing and tinting her eyebrows for her. I let this pass, figuring that the materials are inexpensive for tinting and waxing, and it won't take up too much of my time to do this for her every few weeks or so.
A few days later, my mom said she's excited for me to start school, and she expects me to do her eyebrows and give her monthly facials. I asked if she expected the facials to be free, and she gave me a dirty look and said of course. Now I'm thinking that not only with this be costly for me, but I'm not going to have a lot of free time as I'm planning to be in school full time, as well as working as many hours as I can without taking away from my school. I won't have a lot of time for myself, let alone be doing hour long facials on top of waxing/tinting. I was annoyed by her just assuming that I would be doing this for her without asking, but I didn't really say anything.
Yesterday was when I really got pissed off. At the school I'm attending, you learn most things, but there are short classes for different things that can further your education, and you can really earn extra money. I picked a class Im planning to take once I graduate and have the money to pay for the class, and Ive discussed it openly to my family. My mom is displeased with the class I want to take, and has been persuading me to take an eyelash extension class and a microblading class(where they basically tattoo you're eyebrows on if you have thin eyebrows). Ive told her I don't want to take the eyelash extension class, because there are already plenty of people in my area who do it, and I don't feel comfortable doing a permanent thing such as tattooing eyebrows on someones face. Yesterday she straight up said to me that she wants me to take those classes so I can do her eyelashes and microblade her eyebrows. The class for microblading is over $2000, and I feel like she is being selfish in expecting me to not only do very costly services on her, but take classes Im not interested in doing or paying for, just so I can be her personal esthetician.
Like I said before, I have no problem with waxing and tinting her brows, and every once in a while do a skin care treatment, like as a present or for a special occasion. I just really don't want to feel obligated to be her personal esthetician when I'm going to have little free time to myself as is. I don't even feel excited to start school, as I already can tell she's going to demand me to provide her with all the skin care treatments she desires. Am I an asshole for feeling like my mom is crossing a line? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
9iDmO1PcqNiGGojiKazQDfkZ6wkn8evP | ad07my | {
"description": "calling animal control on my irresponsible neighbors",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I call animal control on my irresponsible neighbors? | Their dogs are outside on chains all day long. They have no shelter and it’s cold and might rain tonight. It’s typically not rainy here but it is cold. Dips in the low 30’s at night.
I told them if they don’t get the dogs shelter I’m calling animal control. They bought one dog house. They have pit mix, chow/ German Shepard and a chihuahua.
The chihuahua is in heat which is causing the other dogs to go crazy and pit was very aggressive to chow grabbing him by the neck. This was not play fighting. The neighbor had to come out and stop the fight which resulted in them getting shorter chains.
He put up a “wall”between the two larger dogs which the chow is now jumping over and was actually stuck upside down for a few tense moments due to his short chain. It’s very dangerous. The neighbor came out and sprayed him with water to get him up stop making so much noise and then went back inside without fixing the wall issue.
This is cause of me a great deal of anxiety. Every time I hear yelping I have to run to the window to make sure chow is not hung on his own chain or mauled by the pit.
The chihuahua and chow were not originally chained. Only the pit. C and C killed s litter of kittens which is why they got chained too. At first I was think okay make it’s good. Pit has company now and they were all able to touch and play together cause their chains were long enough. But since chihuahua is in heat it is causing problems.
It also looked like their daughter was hitting one of the dogs with a stick but I’m not 100% sure. She did throw them (C and C ) off the porch before though when chow was a puppy. She is maybe 6 or 7.
So WIBTA if I call animal control or should I wait until she is out if heat and see if it gets better?
There is also the weather factor.
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"OTHER": 8,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
OsRYr0zoZN1NA2tJpZSxK02pHTWvbL5e | aqqaed | {
"description": "explaining point by point exactly what he did wrong",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for explaining point by point exactly what he did wrong? | Hi everyone. My ex and I broke up about three months ago because I felt there were a lot of problems with our relationship - mainly that I was putting in way more effort than he was.
Ever since, he's been extremely clingy, trying to stay friends and constantly wanting to talk over what happened. I'm extremely stressed out right now due to a lot of life events happening at once, and when I was pissed off the other night he sent me a message essentially blaming me for the death of our relationship.
I lost my shit and called him that night, and told him I didn't have time for this bullshit and he needed to stop. However, I still haven't replied to the original message even though he asked me to.
WIBTA if I outline everything I felt went wrong in the relationship before I finally block him? He knows that the reasons I've given already weren't all there was to the split, so I think he deserves to know. But at the same time, most of my problems were with him and his actions, so I don't want it to seem like a personal attack. I don't want to be a bitch, but at the same time, I want to make it clear what the issues were. WIBTA? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
PIDnU6RwNmqmeXbuDL6QEXAaX6l8NbR8 | 9tpfli | {
"description": "not getting a friend stay with me even though I already said they could",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for not getting a friend stay with me even though i already said they could? | It’s my 21st birthday on Monday and I’m having a party. There is a person in my friend group, let’s call him Dave. I’m not as good friends as I used to be with him because I learned that he was really into Jordan Peterson over the summer and I realized that I didn’t really like spending time with him, he was just a bit annoying. We’re all still friends with the same friends but we don’t really talk anymore.
I put into our group chat inviting everyone to my party. I have no problem with him coming. But he texted me saying asking if he could stay the night at my place that night. Because I have an overwhelming need to please everyone I said no bother. But I’m thinking now, I don’t really want him to stay at my house. The thought kind of makes me uncomfortable.
He lives 40 minutes away so he wouldn’t be able to drive home at the end of the night. He might be able to stay with someone else though.
Would I be an asshole if I took back my offer of letting him stay the night? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
PtpGG1u4oMVf8ONdMR6baoC7HQonxVnR | b13f1d | {
"description": "leaving family behind",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for leaving family behind? | I am graduating college soon. I intend on moving all the way across the country come next year, as I have friends out there and job prospects for my career path are much higher there.
I currently live with my niece and mother (her grandmother). My niece lives with us as her mother is an addict and her father an alcoholic. She still sees her father, but he is far from capable of caring for her.
Her grandmother is in poor health but still gives everything she can for the kid. If I leave the state, and something happens to her grandmother sooner rather than later, I worry about the impact on my niece of having to live with her alcoholic and negligent father full-time. The child means a lot to me, but I also have to think about myself in this situation that will likely come up soon. I could chase my aspirations, or raise a kid that's not mine on what likely wouldn't be the best job, but would at the very least give her a better childhood than otherwise.
Nobody in my family knows about my plan to move. I planned on telling them in a few months.
No one else could take in my niece if something happened to her grandmother other than myself and her father, or a foster home in the worst-case scenario.
Maybe this isn't so cut and dried, but WIBTA if I chose my dreams over my niece if it came to it? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
QFwSjh6DMRvPDoHi5goD7ygDZyX312ih | af56vk | {
"description": "being slightly annoyed at my friends for calling out my irresponsibility",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being slightly annoyed at my friends for calling out my irresponsibility? | Hi. I am a highschool student working on a science fair project. The databook journal was due a few days but I was sick so I wasn't going to be at school that day. At about 7:05, I told my partner (Friend B) that I wasn't going to be at school and I wasn't going to be about to bring the binder. Someone had an extra binder, thankfully, so at about 7:14am, she texted me saying that sometime had an extra binder to use. The binder is worth five points, by the way. Looking back, maybe I should have asked my mom to send the binder to school or gone to school anyway but my mind wasn't right and I was just really tired, not that that's an excuse.
Anyway, I kind of went about the rest of the day feeling awful, taking medicine, and napping. When school got out, I asked everyone, over text, what I had missed. Friend A (not my science partner) said to me "You left Friend B hanging. You should feel bad about yourself. It's your fault that you almost failed science fair. You're so immature and irresponsible. For being in highschool, you sure don't act like it." She seemed to immediately regret, I have to say. When I saw the messages, I was floored. I had no idea it was such a big deal. Apparently, they had been theorizing that I faked being sick because I had an essay due today (which isn't true. I had turned in the essay the night before, online. I I had apologized to Friend B this morning but I decided to do it again. Friend B said she wasn't that mad and that although she was slightly annoyed, it was only five points, anyway. She said that it was easy to jump to conclusions because I was lax about my grades compared to my friend group. (I have A's and B's but most of them cry when they get anything under a 95. Meanwhile, I'm usually okay with an 84.) After that, Friend A texted back
"Hey zarrou, I wasn't trying to be mean to you btw.
I was just trying to make you understand what I and others thought about the situation.
What happened today just wasn't very responsible of you and was very uncalled for.
But it's fine we all make mistakes and it's good to have someone who can call you out on what mistakes you make or you'll never learn from them haha.
And the fact that you're probably shocked I said that is a good thing.
It means you don't make a lot of mistakes. I mean if you think about it ... I bet next year your going to remember this and your gonna be like 'I cannot let Friend A think that I'm still not responsible' and this small little talk can help people change for the better in the smallest ways..."
At that point, I probably should have accepted her apology but I didn't. I said that I honestly don't know what you wanted me to didn't know what she wanted me to do in that situation and that what she said hurt my feelings. I also said that I didn't understand what she gained by commenting on the situation and why she had to insult my like that which I regret. In return, Friend A said that she was actually playfully teasing me which I guess went over my head. And also,"Whatever I guess we were never close anyway."
I feel really bad about the binder. I get that I was the asshole in that situation because I left my member hanging but was I being an asshole for what I said to Friend A? I tried to apologize to her but she won't pick up or answer my texts. Whenever I try to approach her in person, she ignores me. I don't know what to do. I get that I should have tried to come to school and that I had an obligation to bring the binder but I didn't expect her to end the friendship over it.
This is probably some petty highschool drama that will end soon but I'm still worrying about it a lot. Thanks for listening.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Zmxiss7W6ROPKBAzIexXmXQu7ufpMGdW | amw2yw | {
"description": "saying no to driving 2 hours to deliver a video game",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for saying no to driving 2 hours to deliver a video game | This is between I and one of my cousins.
Last week I found out last minute I needed to move apartments early and ended up renting a van to move and asking a few of my cousins to help. This cousin ended up helping that night after work. I went picked him up, he helped move the items from door to car while we all did a part. I was grateful for helping me last minute.
This weekend Ive been waiting for the gas to turn on in my apartment. Ive been waiting for the company to come and the window was all day long. Its been 5 degrees in the apartment and also don’t have hot water.
He asked me while I was waiting if I could go grab cash and buy something for him a 8-10 minute drive away.
I said sure and went and bought it for him and brought it home.
Fast forward to tonight, i was going to go to his place to hang out but apparently I misses the gas person coming ( never got a phone call or knock) so I said Im not coming.
He got upset cause he still wanted the item and told me to drive it over to his house and drop it off. (45min to 1 hr + tolls each way)
I said no I’m not doing that right after work at 6 pm because Im busy during the week and I already went out my way maybe causing me to miss my gas appointment by buying the item for him.
He went on to tell me
“ You weren’t doing anything but waiting. I understand if you were doing something important but you didn’t go out your way you were doing nothing. You should feel honored I gave you something to do. “
He then proceeded to tell me after he did the favor for me if he asked for something I should just respect it and do it.
Ive been waiting all day for the gas people to come today and I’m extremely busy after work with college classes.
Am I the asshole for saying No to doing an favor? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
DtQluSB2nqFzhydMv5di0lqh3iAiAZHe | azbkta | {
"description": "asking my boyfriend why he checks his phone so much while we're at the dinner table",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking my boyfriend why he checks his phone so much while we’re at the dinner table? | So my boyfriend and I (F) were out at one of our favourite casual food places and we planned to see a movie after. While we were eating, he kept going on his phone to check basketball stats. Although I know it’s not a big deal at all, it does bother me when people use their phone at the table. In the past I’ve ignored this for the most part - only pointed it out jokingly before in hopes that he would get the hint. But tonight he did it 3-4 times during our meal and I just wanted to address it.
So in the least aggressive voice I just asked him, “why do you keep checking your phone whenever we eat?”
He said “what do you mean? am i not allowed to just check something quick? you do it too!”
(i dont use my phone during meals it’s always in my bag)
I tried to explain that it’s just common etiquette to put your phone away during a meal. It should be a time where you talk and give the other person your full attention and answer texts/calls/basketball stats later.
He disagreed and saw no issue with it or how it could be perceived as rude or disrespectful.
He got offended and basically gave me the silent treatment until i was done eating. We went back to the car, and again i got the silent treatment. Then he proceeded to tell me that we should save the movie for another night and that he should just take me home.
He also said that asking this question and believing that it’s rude to consistently go on your phone at the dinner table makes me controlling.
Opinions?
Advice?
AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
XvwW6tLCKj1CTPYRcR10rIFNQoeHu6MN | az7jb0 | {
"description": "not letting my girlfriends dad in our house",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not letting my girlfriends dad in our house? | So my girlfriend moved out of her parents house last year, and her parents had bed bugs, so when moving out she unfortunately brought them with her. Since then we have got exterminators to get rid of them and we have been bed bug free for around 5 months now, but we had to get rid of our couches and our bed, and we werent allowed to wallpaper or put carpet down until the exterminators were finished, so as you can imagine the living situation has been super stressful for us both. We do not have a lot of money, my girlfriend is a full time mum so i support us both, but i dont have a great job. Since then we have got flooring, wallpaper, and a new couch, and its all been very expensive.
Her parents have not hired exterminators and are trying to deal with the problem themselves, but they aren't getting very far. They still have bed bugs, and aren't doing much to get rid of them.
Today, my girlfriends dad wanted to come grab her son (she has a kid from a previous relationship) and spend some time with him, taking his pram with him, and I asked him to wait outside because I know that bedbugs travel from place to place on people and their possessions.
When he came back we asked him to leave the pram outside the door so we could spray it with bedbug spray and leave it outside for a while as it had been sat in his house for 3 or 4 hours, and we were concerned about the bugs hitching a ride on it.
Hes been moody ever since, telling my girlfriend we were rude to make him wait outside, that we make him feel dirty and stuff like that, but the way I see it, I DO NOT want bed bugs in my home again, it has been absolute hell trying to get rid of them, and the thought of having to furnish the house and hire exterminators AGAIN is just not what I want, its all way to expensive and emotionally draining to do for a second time.
Am I the asshole here or is his mood justified? Should we be expected to put all of our possesions on the line for his feelings? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
aJ8GkymbuIzVQPL2O1JwsTknggFTh8Te | b7ip1c | {
"description": "kissing someone I know I don't want to be in a relationship in",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA For kissing someone I know I don't want to be in a relationship in? | So I took a friend out today who I know is somewhat attracted to me. She's pretty cute, but we're very different and I honestly can't see a relationship happening with any success due to our different outlooks (religion, politics, pretty much everything).
She's a good person and I wanted to do a nice thing for her because I get the feeling she doesn't get much attention at home or school, so I drove her out a fair distance to a place that she really wanted to go to and took her out to lunch.
As the day went on, she kept dropping hints that she wanted to get intimate. At the end, when were alone, I told her that I was confused and not in a place to be in a relationship (I'm still a little stuck on my ex I left 9 months ago but making good progress). I told her I wanted to makeout with her but I did not want a relationship. I also told her I didn't want to hurt her or use her in any way. She said that was fine and she just wanted to makeout as well. We made out for like a minute and just kind of chilled afterwards.
She seemed fine and not bothered at all and thanked me for everything but I feel like a dirtbag. I feel like I used her emotionally and that I'm a shitty person. I let my own emotional needs get the better of me and instead of just being a good friend I did something selfish.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
PoTsM5GidrpXneLjVzoUoSw3ilfyiY1g | b2nztg | {
"description": "telling my boyfriend that we are not actually engaged",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 23
} | AITA for telling my boyfriend that we are not actually engaged? | Some background: My boyfriend (20M) and I (20F) have been dating for one year and 3 months now. Since the beginning to were taking this pretty serious and I always considered us a long lasting couple. All of our friends know we are dating and we met each others parents.
Now comes the tricky part.
After 8ish months of our relationship we had an "engagement" in his house, after I came back from my 2 month trip. He proposed with gummy bears and I said yes hugged kissed had sex etc.. It was huge highlight of our relationship and one of the cutest moments we had. After that sometimes we would call each other fiance/e and make statements that we are engaged. But nobody knows about that because its between us.
Now, a few hours ago we were having a casual conversation and word fiancee came up and I told him something along the lines "but you know we are not actually engaged". He got upset and I quickly explained that I still mean to marry him and Im still promised to him but that it wasnt real engagement since nobody knows about it. Then he said he cant actually propose me because we are too young. I agreed with him and stated that I in fact dont want him to propose now but I just made sure he knew that wasnt real engagement.
So since that talk he is deeply hurt by my words and says something must have happened for me to say it and doesnt understand how its not real.
Am I the asshole and is it my fault? If I am then dont spare me since I never had any intention to hurt him and he doesnt deserve it.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 20,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 3
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 23,
"WRONG": 23
} | RIGHT |
0dM6mai718IPLQz8bFgkXyvr56zsQ5Ny | acmpmr | null | AITA bf said something very hurtful and I am seriously considering ending the relationship | TLDR at the bottom - \*\*Graphic sexual content warning\*
​
John and I met online 6 months ago and met in person 5 weeks after that - we took things slow, didnt kiss for the first month etc at his insistence. I am a very touch orientated person and he wouldnt even hold hands or hug until that point either.
We first tried to have sex after 10 weeks together and he couldnt maintain an erection - we have had the same issue ever since and have yet to have sex to completion despite trying at least once a week. He has ED and has done for around 3 years even though we are both in our late 20s. Everything is passionate and hot and amazing until it comes to penetration where it just doesnt seem to work.
I expressed to him a couple of times the concern that he wasnt attracted to me and that at least part of the issue was with me. He always said no to this. I am not his normal type, he usually goes for smaller more quiet women, I am 250lbs ish and have a giant personality to match, men have often said that I'm intimidating - in my career I have to be a total ballbuster as im a younger woman managing a very large team of men that are all older than me. I never specifically mentioned my weight as the reason why i thought he wasnt attracted to me but I absolutely thought it. I have made awesome progress and am actually 100lbs down from where i was this time last year so it is going in the right direction.
We tried to have sex again 2 nights ago and he was getting frustrated repeatedly trying to penetrate me with a flaccid penis. After 6 tries I said enough was enough and asked him to stop and for us just to cuddle up. We cuddled and made out and then he said - somewhere in the back of my mind im scared that im not attracted to you due to your weight - since that moment I have been questioning our entire relationship - he has apologised and said he only said it because he wanted to deflect the blame onto me in that moment rather than it being because he isnt a man he isnt able to perform (he has had this issue with previous partners and this has ended some of his past relationships)
He keeps saying that he is sorry and that he is attracted to me and that he has been to the doctors and he is having further tests next week with a specialist etc but i still cant unhear what he said no matter how many times he tries to take it back
TLDR - bf could not get an erection and blamed not being attracted to me due to my weight in a moment of frustration - AITA for seriously considering ending the relationship over this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 30,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 38,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
8iyqXkQ9KG6hMsOSDuoCRaV8fM7qRIUT | ao3av3 | {
"description": "being upset that my girlfriend is going to her best friend's lingerie party",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 80
} | AITA for being upset that my girlfriend is going to her best friend’s lingerie party | So my girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 6 months now. But we’ve known each other 10 months. We have a very loving and understanding relationship. I travel for work a lot so we’re often away from each other. The other day, she told me that she should be going to her best friend’s lingerie party. Her best friend is turning 31 on March 22nd and she’s having a lingerie pajama party.
As soon as my girlfriend told me this, I felt very angry. I felt angry because wtf? Why would she go to a lingerie party when she has a boyfriend? When I expressed that to her, she kind of put her foot down and was like “yeah, you can’t tell me what to wear, and I’m going to my best friend’s lingerie party”. She did her best to assure me that nothing is going to happen. But it’s still very hard to get over the image of her walking around in a group of 50 people wearing nothing but lingerie. I got very upset and told her that she doesn’t take my feelings into consideration, she doesn’t care about what I have to say or how I feel about the party. She seems to only do her thing without considering how I feel about it.
Who’s the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 79,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 17
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 80
} | WRONG |
snrScGCqCc2O1kZBDuhDxeON6H9frg00 | 9y797h | {
"description": "telling my roommate not to bring guests",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for telling my roommate not to bring guests? | For background I live in a suite style college dorm with a kitchen and common area. The suite has 5 people and 3 bedrooms. I live in one of the doubles (the rooms are randomly assigned and I wasn’t lucky enough for the single).
My roommate is a party person, and I am more of a stay at home introverted type. On weekends, she invites her friends, and they pregame/hang out in our suite. I don’t get why they MUST come in our room when there’s an entire living room and table. They always come to our bedroom too, and drink/smoke weed but I don’t drink or smoke. My roommate is always trying to convince me to try it and that it’s “not bad” but I really don’t want to. I don’t care if they do it outside of here, but I don’t want it in my room, especially weed smoke. Our room is right next to the RA, and if they even smell smoke they have to investigate. Plus, I choose not to smoke for a reason, so I don’t want to smell it.
She doesn’t tell me when they’re coming so often I’m completely in my pajamas with strangers. Once she had a bunch of people in our room partying and drinking while I was at home for the weekend, and I only knew because of her snapchat story. Obviously you can imagine I don’t appreciate drunk people around my things while I’m not there.
To me the bedroom is the most private/intimate space I have, and it’s bad enough sharing it with one stranger, but having a whole bunch in and out does not sit well with me. Her guests are respectful and don’t touch my things, but I still don’t like it. If I had my way I would totally ban guests in here. I can’t trust them not to do drugs/drink in here. I don’t want to get punished for having it in my room when it’s not even mine. We are “chill” roommates and never complain to each other, so I don’t want to ruin it. She’ll think this is ridiculous because it’s her room too and she should be allowed to have friends, which I understand, but I have limits.
She’s also known to have a short temper, get “petty revenge” and even physically fight people when they piss her off, so the last person I want to piss off is the one around all my stuff. But my school is strict on alcohol and drugs and I don’t want to risk it. However, who am I to impose my lifestyle on her? WIBTA for telling her not to bring any guests even though it’s equally her room as it is mine? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"OTHER": 3,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
bwxUDAl3FFoVlJaCZMG6UgIqRj3YmDta | a014i5 | {
"description": "wanting my almost 20 year old to kick in for rent",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for wanting my almost 20 year old to kick in for rent? | TL:DR - Should 20 yr old in gap years pay some rent
AITA for wanting my almost 20 year old to pay rent since he lives here for free? He’s three months shy of 20. I’ve bought him a truck and I pay for his health insurance and mobile phone.
At 18 I was out of the house and on my own 100% and in college. My son works at a vape shop and states I’m not being supportive if I pressure him to make big life choices because he’s trying to figure out “what he wants to do with his life” 😳.
I make a good salary BUT I want him to think before he takes a 25 minute hot shower about how much water costs and it costs money for heating the water - you know basic things like this.
I really was hoping he’d figure out what he wants to do and move so I can free myself up financially. His younger brother is autistic and living with his father 30 min away so he can finish high school. I’ve got 18 months and I’m sure I’ll have my soon to be grown son back with me and that’s fine! I don’t mind taking care of my special needs kid at all BUT I’d like a little time alone. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
4KBGrKR6IzlSrWEzjltakgkBCWThNQEJ | b46zu7 | {
"description": "asking my roommate to lock the door",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for asking my roommate to lock the door? | Hey everyone. First time posting and I’m on mobile so if the format is weird I’m sorry.
TLDR AT END!!
I’m (23f) a college student living in a pretty shitty apartment with my roommate (23f). Her and I were random roommates and we get along really well, she’s super cool and chill but she never locks the door.
I’m a really cautious person because you never know what could happen at any given moment. (yeah I can see how I’m a little paranoid but ssdgm) so it’s been about 8 months now of us living together and we live on the first floor, so many people are constantly walking by or driving by our place. I ALWAYS lock the door. It’s second nature to me. And I’m pretty much a home body and like to be in my own space so I’m pretty much always here. My roommate though comes and goes at any time of the day/night. She never freaking locks the door. She will come home at 2 am, unlock the door but never lock it back. It really frustrates me because my friend who also lives here got broken into last week.
I told her I would really appreciate it and I would feel safer if she locked the door behind her. She was totally okay with it and actually apologized that she hadn’t been doing it the entire time.
Fast forward to a few days later~ I wake up at 10 (my one day to sleep in between work and school) to find the fucking front door OPEN. She wasn’t here so I texted her about it and she told me she must of not shut it all the way when she left for work at 5 AM. My front door was open for 5 hours. And to add on to that, I have a dog that I usually let out of my room in the morning so if he would’ve ran out the door I would’ve been even more furious.
I told her she really needs to pay attention to the door and please to lock it. Ever since that conversation she’s been really stand-off ish. Am I the asshole?
Tldr: my roommate doesn’t lock the front door and she left it wide open after she left for work in the morning. Confronted her about it and now she doesn’t talk to me. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
A6wEbQIfmePl5jUIkGdaykXKb6f8WYiP | b2egqz | {
"description": "getting angry at a club member for leaking the link to our private site",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting angry at a club member for leaking the link to our private site? | I run an anime club, and own a small site with blog posts and video files of the anime we watched that day.
One of our more active members ended up sharing the link on quora, and although i told him to delete it, way back in November, I just now found out the link was never deleted.
Upon telling him that I may reconsider his application for board membership because he wasn't responsible enough for it, he responded harshly.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Jr532gD5HIbkHK6cfTUqQ0r5e7XbD0FD | ak7mgt | {
"description": "not wanting to do optional social things at work",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to do optional social things at work | I like my coworkers as people. We work well together. I love that they like doing stuff like staff birthdays, loosely-organized lunches together, etc. My company even hosts a "fun day" in late summer for staff that includes outings and so forth.
None of that interests me. I don't participate, but encourage others to and to have fun while they're doing it. It has nothing to do with the other people there - I simply don't want to engage in those activities.
Recently, my boss confronted me about it, and challenged me with the assertion that it sends a pretty crappy message about the kind of person I am when I consistently abstain. He's clear that it doesn't affect my reviews or salary or anything, just that he wants me to want to be a part of the team. I know I have a reputation as a result of being a curmudgeon. I just don't really care, and work hard at the actual job stuff. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
QrRIA9ZajF6IWtgVUXEQekCjBoyKrtlu | acq80k | {
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend over this reason",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend over this reason? | I had been dating this girl for a little over a year. We had occasional fights about me not being emotional enough and a couple arguments about my drinking, which I was trying to cut back on. And I'll admit I had a bit of a problem with it at the time. On top of all of that I'm a social person and she wasn't she would get jealous that I would talk to other people, both men and women. So about 5 months back she came over and we had sex and afterwards I went in to cuddle with her and she told me to stop. She got up and left without saying good bye to me. I could tell she was upset and I spent the next few hours calling her and texting her to try and figure out what was wrong. The next day she called me and told me we should just be friends with benefits. I'm not that kind of person and broke up with her on the spot. A few weeks later she told me she was bluffing and she was expecting me to come crawling back, apologizing and begging to take her back. After a the last few months on this feed it got me thinking was I the asshole | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
XLwafFRR9mEikVy8mOIjrIrVzV7eZGj6 | b3ynna | {
"description": "cheating on my final exams",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 14
} | AITA for cheating on my final exams? | SO i have a really bad biology teacher and she didn't teach us much throughout the year. Most of the year i had to go home and revise everything myself and learn from there. I used a lot of youtube videos and online courses to actually learn biology. Then she gave us a our semester finals which are extremely important. The night before she tells us that mitosis and miyosis and some other cell stuff are going to be on the test which she didn't teach us and have little to do with our current units. We're all freaking out and i study until 3 am. I realize that i didn't cover enough so i know what i had to do. They let us bring calculators so i wrote notes on the inside of the calculator cover and i write some on a piece of paper thats on the inside of my shirt. I take the test and i got the highest score in the class. A perfect score and now the teachers are celebrating me and everyone is proud and congratulating me. I feel bad because its undeserved but if i tell the teachers the truth i will not graduate but at the same time, we simply didn't have enough time to learn it. Everyone passed but nobody but me got good scores. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 14
} | WRONG |
PQlup9PJ5kbNAnFHMuPrvm9VgFJRqI5h | ah4bgc | {
"description": "dumping my husbands loose crap all on his office chair even though I know he doesn't like it",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for dumping my husbands loose crap all on his office chair even though i know he doesn't like it? | Me and my husband have been together a long time and one of our major disagreements over the years have been his lack of give a shit about picking up after himself. Most recently he had taken up the entire kitchen table with bags, clothes and other junk. It is known in the house since we have other roommates that the common areas (kitchen, kitchen table and couch) cannot be taken over for more than 24 hours with anyone's stuff. Since the stuff had been there for almost a week i took it all and dumped it on his office chair. Hes told me not to do this before and has told me to put it in a specific place by his desk but that feels to me like i'm now putting in more effort to clean his stuff than he is. I grant you its somewhat petty and i can accept that but the next day he refused to kiss me before leaving for work. For some that may not be a big deal but for us that's huge. Even during larger fights we don't do that.
​
He seems to believe i owe it to him to put the stuff where hes asked but how does that make sense if he literally put zero effort into putting it where it should have been? Full disclosure, the place he wants me to put it is just next to his desk whereas i dumped it on his chair but i just dont feel obligated to respect this wishes when is the one who has started this chain. Am i being too petty about this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
qp8PTOrKc9mbdjSZpBLzKU6gWJWEo51Q | b8cork | {
"description": "laughing at my cat and recording",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for laughing at my cat and recording | This happened yesterday. I have three cats and one of them is your typical cat that is afraid of everything. He does warm up to you after that, but that's besides the point
​
I was playing around with my phone yesterday when my cat got its head stuck on the handle of a paper bag. He ran around the house scared as shit. There was no immediate danger because the handle was really long and it was generally funny AF. I laughed my ass off and grabbed my phone to record. The cat finally stopped and my mom took the bag off the cat. Then she started yelling at me for endangering the cat.
​
So AITA for doing that to my cat? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
mrII6X4I0Yt3bS06K07e8WSEIkqpRPaW | annd0d | {
"description": "not being there for my friend after the guy she loves jumped out of a car on the freeway",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For not being there for my friend after the guy she loves jumped out of a car on the freeway? | First post ever so please forgive me if I'm not doing this right. My (21f) friend Sara (21f) tells me that she picked up Guy (fake name) and he then proceeded to jump out of her car on the freeway. He lived but was badly injured and she took him to the hospital. He was on a variety of drugs as the reason for doing what he did. She was freaked out from the whole situation and cleaning all the blood from her car. She also really loves Guy.
Now about Guy is that he is a user and a dealer, been in and out of jail and he takes advantage of everyone around him. Sara has loved him and dealt with his shit for 7 years. For a short while he agrees to be her boyfriend but cheats on her and dumps her shortly afterward. That doesn't stop her from always answering when he needs something and letting him drag her into his bullshit. He blocks her when he is annoyed by her and unblocks her when he needs her. I can't stand this guy.
Sara is heartbroken everytime he does this to her and I try to comfort her and make her realize how shitty Guy is. She says she knows but she can't stop loving him but she promises that she's done with him and will not talk to him. Which she doesn't have a choice when he blocks her but when he unblocks her she doesn't hesitate to take him back. Over and over.
Then this happens and I just stop her and tell her I really don't care anymore. She is angry because I'm not there for her. But I'm just tired of hearing the same story and saying the same thing. I tell her that Guy is going to kill her someday with the situations he puts her in. She says she HAD to go get him because then he could have hurt himself or someone else. I tell her I understand that, but he is not her responsibility and it's not her fault if he makes decisions that could hurt himself or others. But she doesn't understand or maybe she doesnt want to. Or maybe she's right?
Sara had always been there for me and we are very close so I feel bad. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ak8ar38jjma9IVIdVJDisRMtmZZeJv9C | axrre8 | {
"description": "not \"letting\" my brother get married before me",
"pronormative_score": 41,
"contranormative_score": 68
} | AITA for not "letting" my brother get married before me? | This happened a couple years ago but it's something that keeps coming up & causing me anxiety/discomfort.
When my husband & I got engaged (it was like April), we had been dating for about 8 years & it was not a surprise to anyone that we were going to get married. We do the whole tell the parents thing & they are all excited, later that day I realize that we hadn't told my older brother so we call him up & share the good news. At first he's excited & then asks when we are thinking about getting married. Since we had only been engaged for about a week we hadn't really set a date & I mentioned a date that was about two years in the future but clearly stated that we didn't really know since we hadn't been engaged long & had to plan.
My brother then says "oh well it looks like I may beat you guys down the aisle." I laughed but when he didn't laugh as well I stopped & said "wait, you're seeing someone?" He apparently was, they had their first date on Valentine's day (February) I kinda brushed off his comment about getting married before me & told him that I'd love to meet & get to know her. Especially since she was the first girl he ever dated & "brought home."
Couple months (~July) Husband/I set a wedding date that's ~9 months in the future. We also meet the GF, I think a good fit for OB. In August, we get a call from OB saying that he & GF are engaged. Wow, congrats! Ask about the story & all that, but I never really thought to ask about a date (I was admittedly too wrapped up in planning to be considerate).
2 weeks later OB calls me & asks if I'd be ok with him getting married before me. I was (stupidly) shocked & said I'd have to talk to Husband about it since I was unable to process it at the time. That day I went over to visit my husband & asked him what he thought & shared how I thought it was crazy that OB&GF wanted to get married so quickly after beginning to date. Husband wasn't ok with them getting married before us & agreed w/me that it seemed fast. I also spoke to our mom/older sister they both agreed that I was within my rights to say no if I was uncomfortable about it since he asked.
2 days later I called OB up & told him that it did make me uncomfortable but if they really wanted to get married before us then I couldn't stop them.
They ended up setting a date for 2 weeks after my wedding.
Ever since OB/his wife have made comments often about how they "really wanted to get married in February" (I didn't realize that they wanted to get married on their 1 year anniversary, which I do feel bad about) & have heard them bemoan the fact that they couldn't have the flowers they wanted for something like that.
Am I an asshole for letting my feelings known or should I have swallowed them? If YTA, what (if anything) can I do to make it up to them? Thanks for your thoughts & harsh judgments. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 51,
"OTHER": 34,
"EVERYBODY": 17,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 3
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 41,
"WRONG": 68
} | WRONG |
Z5NKeIDigNpq8pUywpKq35j91b0o5N5p | akrjw1 | {
"description": "not spending more money on my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for not spending more money on my girlfriend? | I have two girlfriends I care about very deeply. This is completely in the open and they know about each other - I’m not cheating or hiding it or anything like that. I’ve been dating Kayla for 10 months and Lauren for a year and a half. I’m 24, Kayla is 22, and Lauren is 23.
Although I came from a lower-class family, I have done very well for myself. I still do a 9-5, but I have a lot of spending money. Both Kayla and Lauren are in grad school with a modest stipend, so I virtually pay for everything when we go out.
I’m madly in love with Kayla, and I love treating her to nice things. The sparkle in her eyes makes me giddy. She had a rough life growing up, and I really want to show her the world. I’ve taken her on several international vacations, many Michelin starred restaurants, etc.
I care very deeply about Lauren and have taken her to nice restaurants, concerts, etc, but I haven’t spent nearly as much on her as I have on Kayla. If I had infinite money and time, I would love to take her travelin with me, but I have limited resources.
Recently I told her that Kayla and I were going to Fiji for two weeks and she blew up on me complaining that I never take her anywhere. I point out that last month I probably spent $1500 on her between play tickets, dinners, and bar tabs.
She is making me feel like an asshole for not spending more money on her. Am I? I think I’m being generous as is. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
rf5N1jSH5QxJZVmi0sQ5dTxCnB1upKx8 | aa5sde | {
"description": "telling people to stop trying to preach to me to be a Christian again",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA If I told people to stop trying to preach to me to be a Christian again? | So I’m going to try and keep this short, TLDR at bottom, but I’m an LGBT person and Wiccan. I left the Christian faith after being kicked out of a church (and eventually getting my family kicked out) for being transgender. I am not open about this detail in my public life, but I am open that I do have a boyfriend, but my next most private thing is my religious belief.
Recently at my convenience store work in a conservative Christian part of town, I’ve had a lot of people come up to me and try to ask me if I’ve heard the word of God. I tell them yes in some cases, but I left it for a personal reason, and then I get barraged with “Once you’re saved, you are always saved!” until I mention to them in the Bible that it actually says the one Unforgiveable sin is denying the Christian god and Jesus, and suddenly they tell me their life story and how much God has done for them, derailing the topic.
There are some instances where I just have to say “yeah I’m a Christian” so I don’t get lectured at work, or wherever I go in town. It’s pretty frequent I get asked this as the hours I work coincide with the services of 3 churches within a half mile of where I work. I’ve finally been able to tell certain people that on the clock, I have no religious or political opinion, but now when I come to my work casually, or in the area, it’s a lot harder to escape the question with regulars from my work who know that I am not a Christian.
Would I be the asshole if I start telling people I’m not interested in their beliefs and told them kindly to mind their own business? I know a part of me is hugely afraid of rejection and what other people think of me, especially since I’ve already faced a mass community rejection once. I don’t want people in my life to know my business but I feel like an asshole for lying. I just wish I could have my belief without people trying to just change me. I don’t try to convert people and I love everyone for who they are and their walks, I just wish the same hand would be given to me.
TLDR; I want people to stop trying to convert me to being a Christian after I faced mass rejection, but I feel like I would be an asshole if I told them to stop and that I’m not interested in their religion.
AITA? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
OyKXARnxtMh4o1EPzzaITnQeNJHhe8Cq | a14m16 | {
"description": "feeling hurt and betrayed when my girlfriend went on a date with another person",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for feeling hurt and betrayed when my girlfriend went on a date with another person? | Sorry, this is going to be long. This happened earlier this year and we recently broke up.
​
When we were together, I was 24F and she was 19F. We'll call my partner 'Sarah'
​
I'm confused as to how I should feel about this. We had a rocky relationship.
​
It got to the point where we said we were going to take a break from each other. I asked her is she going to see someone else and she said she's going to live her life. To me, that basically means yes, she's going to see someone else if someone else comes along. I told her that I feel uncomfortable with that. I told her that's not a break; to me, a break is just some space apart to cool off but we're still together, and what she's describing was a breakup. So in the end, we broke up. I moved out and went back home.
​
Here's where it gets confusing to me. We broke up but we were still in each other's lives all the time. At some point, I started staying over again and during this time, we started being intimate again; we would do things like hold hands, hug each other, snuggle and even kiss each other. One night, one thing led to another, we slept together. The next day, we went to a nice restaurant for lunch and I apologised for the stuff I did in the past (mostly me being emotionally detached and not understanding emotions, this is a classic avoidant person dating an anxious person situation). I started crying at this point, then Sarah came over to me to comfort me and kissed me on the cheek.
​
After all that, it feels like we got back together. Then Sarah tells me she met someone on Tinder and she has a crush on them, but she's deleted the app because she wants to think about it before she does anything. But she said she's added them on facebook and has their number. I remember feeling horrible by this news. I told her that I dont feel comfortable with her seeing someone else romantically. She said she just wants to be friends with this person now. I just remember feeling horribly upset by this.
​
Sarah saw how upset I was, she comforted me and told me it's going to be okay. She said things will get better and she believes in me that I can get better.
​
The very next day, I went back to work. During the day, I noticed that Sarah accidentally left her medicine in my bag so I texted her to tell her medicine is with me. I asked if she would like me to bring it back tonight and have dinner together. I got no response from her so I thought she's probably busy doing something (she usually doesn't reply to our messages) and I'll just bring it back to her place.
​
I hopped on the train and called again later and she picked up. I told her i'm on the way to her place because she left her medicine with me. Sarah tells me that she's actually in the city and is on the way back home. Wanting to make conversation and genuinely interested in her life, I asked her what did she do in the city. She said she was hanging out with a friend and because they were watching a movie, her phone was on silent. They went to the arcade too. She was on her way back so I waited for her at the train station for over an hour. Stupid me thought it was a good idea to not wear warm clothes and I froze my ass off. I killed time by knitting her a scarf.
​
When Sarah arrived she looked really sick! So I took care of her that night. While we were walking to get some takeaway, I asked how her day was and she said it was good. When I asked with which friend, she dodged the question which made me feel uneasy because before she told me she found someone on tinder which she has some feelings for. This makes me uneasy because i’m not stupid, I get a feeling she was with that tinder girl since she didn’t tell me who she was with… I've put it out of my mind for the rest of the night because she was sick and took care of her. Later that night, she told me I was special to her.
​
I woke up still feeling uneasy and scared. I was freaking out that she went on a date with that tinder girl last night. My gut tells me she did go on a date with that tinder girl. I needed to get the hell outta there. She woke up while I was getting ready. She had a look on her face and tilted her head toward me and smiled, so I kissed her on the lips goodbye and she smiled back at me.
​
I left that morning and went back to work and went home. The next few days I was just feeling completely crushed and awful. I tried calling her but she ignored it. She finally messages me back after a few days and asks why I was “hassling her”. I told her I’ve been feeling very low. She then says she needs to work on herself and appreciated it that I was supportive and was there for her as a friend. She know’s we’re complicated but it’s a lot of stress on her. That completely threw me off! As a friend! I just felt so crushed and I broke down and cried.
​
A few hours later, she texts “how are we sorting out the dentist payment?”. Backstory here is that she needs wisdom teeth surgery. When we were dating, I said I’ll pay for it. She’s unemployed and I’m working full time. I didn’t answer right away because I was still feeling awful and spiralling. Sarah later calls me and asks me “what’s wrong” in a very impatient tone. I told her how I was feeling and she says “well you've put me through stuff too, the bad outweigh the good”.
​
I asked her did she go out with that tinder girl, she said yes. I asked was it a date, she said she didn’t know. After a lot of back and forth, we concluded that we were just friends after all that time and that I’ll be paying for the surgery (SO DUMB OF ME!)
​
I think after a few days I went back her place. Eventually we started arguing. I got so fed up I told her we can’t keep doing this. I said I’ll get out of her life and maybe one day we can be friends again. Sarah was sad after I said that and I was sad too, we both ended up crying. I wiped away her tears and hugged her and comforted her. Eventually she kinda tackled me to the floor and hugged me and cried on me. I held her in my arms and rubbed her back to comfort her. She eventually kissed me on the lips. I was surprised but I kissed her back.
​
She said she missed me. I asked about that tinder girl and she says she doesn’t feelings for her anymore. Sarah said while she was with tinder girl, she wished she was with me instead. She said she wasn’t going to talk to her anymore. Eventually, Sarah did delete her number and facebook.
​
Much later, probably a few weeks after, I brought up how upset I was when I knew for sure that she went on a date with that tinder girl even though I told her I was uncomfortable with Sarah seeing someone else while we were on “break”. Sarah then says it’s my fault that she turned to tinder because I was such a jerk.
​
Later, she confessed to me that she also kissed a guy on the lips the night before just to see what it was like. I was so shocked that I dropped my phone while I was holding it. I thought to myself, so I WASN’T GOING CRAZY AND UNREASONABLY JEALOUS of her guy friend (I kept my jealous feelings to myself because I didn’t want to push her away). After she told me and saw that I wasn’t taking it well, she asked am I still going to pay for the wisdom teeth.
​
AND GUESS WHAT MY STUPID ASS SAID?
​
Yes.
​
I went off on a tangent on that last bit, but back to the main point. Am I the asshole for feeling so shitty about that whole situation?!
​
(Also I need help in getting over her) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
yy8X9hqd40hpQgTc761g91PsfaQfgzr7 | alnlyg | {
"description": "missing plans with my roommate because I was at work",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for missing plans with my roommate because I was at work? | My roommate and I made plans to go out to dinner, and I told him Id probably be off work at around 7:30. At around 6:40, I called my roommate saying I wouldnt get off for another hour at the most and he didnt seem too happy. I finally got off at around 8 and received a text from my roommate saying “I can’t believe you”. I called him and he rudely asked what I wanted and saying the restaurant we were going to closes soon. He ended the call abruptly and sent a text stating “Sorry I don’t talk to fake ass bitches who blow off their friends...”. Keep in mind I recently returned to this job and can’t afford to piss off my boss by asking to leave early. AITA here or is just overreacting? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
jKE4ElkKm3bD3pFLqHaETClHsrMAo1SM | awbyvg | {
"description": "telling a guy in the Navy that I don't want to go on a date anymore after getting to know him",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For telling a guy in the Navy that I don’t want to go on a date anymore after getting to know him? | So it’s literally only been 5 days since I was talking to this guy. In my opinion that isn’t even enough days to catch ‘hard feelings’. Keep in mind we have NEVER met either. He wanted our first date to be before he leaves for the navy. He’s in there for 5 years and already served one year.
Today I REALLY thought about it, and I wouldn’t be able to date someone in the navy because of distance. We hardly even know each other and he’s leaving in 2 weeks. And again, only 5 days talking. At first when I started chatting with him I thought I’d be able to do it, but now I realize no, I wouldn’t.
Would I be the asshole to tell him I changed my mind on going on a date with him before he leaves? What I’m worried about to , I’m actually still a virgin at 20 years old and I don’t know if he’d be ‘expecting sex’ on that date because he’s gonna be gone for so long after and I’m not that kind of girl.
I also want to point out he’s a PLAYER, I literally found out he’s been talking to other girls besides me, which I don’t appreciate and at this point I don’t care about his feelings. He can go on a date with one of the others. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
vz0JjLClPOa96thdLlraJrzoDMSH9DlU | b4m4d2 | {
"description": "making inappropriate jokes about my own life",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for making inappropriate jokes about my own life | I literally have one friend (we’re both female mid 20s), we are usually super close but we hadn’t spoken for two weeks or so, we had a conversation about why we haven’t spoken for a while - we both hadn’t had the best of weeks.
I have had a really bad week depression wise (said friend hasn’t spoken to me in a depressed state as its been manageable since we’ve known each other). I explained that i had been feeling depressed, and that i had lost my mind for a few days and thought about doing something stupid and i then laughed it off and said everything was now fine.
Firstly - no i don’t think depression or any related issues are a joke, however making jokes about my own situation is something of a coping mechanism to me, which i have explained.
However, my friend now thinks that i am a complete asshole, i am not sure whether it’s because i actually told them about it, or whether it was because i didn’t appear to take it too seriously
I myself am a little annoyed because i have helped my friend through all of their problems, my friend hadn’t messaged me once in two weeks to check on me bearing in mind i usually message a lot to check in (they’re preoccupied with a new partner) and has offered no support, other than calling me an asshole, unfair, and questioning how are they meant to just laugh it off.
Obviously i regret saying it but AITA and i just can’t see it?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
wpk9QkJxcDMaY2f8sONWhM4nLxNEcshI | b9ex4b | {
"description": "turning the heating on despite my flatmate complaining",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for turning the heating on despite my flatmate complaining? | This is probably fairly mundane, but I'm really stumped as to whether I'm in the wrong here. A bit of background, first: I'm a second year university student living in a five bedroom house with four other flatmates, and we all get along reasonably well with each other. I have the ground floor bedroom, which is the largest, but also the coldest, due to it being at the front of the house with large bay windows. The past few months have usually been colder than usual, so I'll take it upon myself to turn the boiler on for some heating in my room if it ever gets too chilly.
However, a few weeks ago, one of my flatmates (let's call him Elvis) confronted me after I made a passing comment about what I usually set the boiler dial at. He said that I was being selfish for turning the boiler on, and that I was the sole cause of this heating issue. I suggested that he just turned his radiator off in his room if he was too hot (every room has its own radiator that can be turned on or off independently), but he told me that he already does, and that heat was rising from the bottom floor to the top floor. We eventually came to the compromise that we would keep all of the radiators off, except mine, to minimise the temperature elsewhere in the house.
(Another flatmate told me that it's annoying to turn off the radiators individually, because then they take even longer to warm up when he wants the heating on. I said that it was selfish that he'd rather have his heating come on faster when he wants than let me have my radiator turned on independently, but that's another matter.)
However, even since we compromised, he'll still turn the boiler off whenever he's nearby. We've not spoken to each other about this, but we'll often end up in anonymous boiler proxy wars. I don't turn the heating on all of the time, but I will whenever my room does get particularly cold, and he'll consistently come to turn it off. Last night it was two degrees Celsius outside, and he came downstairs to turn it off each time that I turned it on (this happened about several times).
I've never seen Elvis wearing something other than shorts, even throughout all of winter, so he's definitely a naturally warm person - I understand that if he's getting too hot in his room, it must be as frustrating to him as it is when I'm too cold. However, I really struggle to understand how turning the boiler off will make any difference when his radiator (and most others in the house) is turned off; the flatmate in the room directly above mine has said that he has no issues with being too hot, so I don't think it's an issue with heat rising from my room specifically. And it's not like I'm trying to keep the house at insane temperatures - the boiler has a dial with ten notches on it, and I never turn it past the third mark. Even when it's ten or eleven degrees outside, I feel as though it's warranted to keep some heating on.
So, I want to know, am I the asshole here? What should I do? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
A0tSsy1TkRIJ9YrN0pdXOmWlfSbE6Jod | akd0k0 | {
"description": "purposely avoiding my grandma",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for purposely avoiding my grandma? | !!! Before this begins I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language !!!
My dad's mom was my favorite grandma when I was a kid. I used to go to her house every single weekend because it was always fun and games and I loved it there. I loved her and saw her as an amazing grandma.
That's until I grew up.
I didn't change with her at all, still acted the same and loved her, but I started noticing how harsh and rudely she would treat her dad and my uncle that live with her, and how she was always complaining about something and making everyone seem like the villain. Still, I would go to her house and stay there for a while, watching tv with her and talking and this kind of stuff.
One day, my father told me that she told him that I was rude on my time there and never talked with anyone and instead just stayed on my phone the entire time and a bunch of other rude things about me, including things about my appearance (and she told him not to say anything to me). I do have A LOT trouble being sociable and those experiences are really uncomfortable to me but never once that sort of thing affected my relationship with her as I didn't see her as a outsider, she was my grandma and I always treated her very lovingly and kindly.
What surprises me the most about that is that she never changed the way she acts with me. She was and still is the same, and I've been to her house after I knew what she was saying about me, she just acted like nothing ever happened.
So now I can't bring myself to act with her the way I did before, it just feels very fake and I've been avoiding going to her house or to interact whit her because everytime I see her her words repeat in my head and I just can't be genuinely happy and loving as I was before, and end up just being fake and giving out fake smiles and vain simple responses.
AITA to be doing this and feeling this way when she still treats me the same even though she said all that about me? Am I just being childish and holding on to something that happened in the past? Should I try harder to forget? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
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} | RIGHT |
Kj2tAnswS7SQTTW0SJJcLXxTLKfI9mAx | avtkks | {
"description": "charging to babysit my grandson",
"pronormative_score": 90,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA I charge to babysit my grandson | Sorry it's so long. I've have a close, but often contentious relationship with my daughter. When she became a mom, I became a full time babysitter for my grandson. She has to be at work by 7am and lives 30 minutes from me so I have to get up by 445am. Thankfully it's usually only 3 days a week, and btw, I ABSOLUTELY ADORE MY GRANDCHILD!
The first year I babysat it was maybe 8-9 hours each day i was there because my son in law was able to be home by 3-4pm, and I was just grandma being grandma and helping. Then my and my husband's financial situation changed due to a healthcare crisis and bills. I HAD to get a job again.
It was humiliating to ask my child for money to care for my grandson, but that's what I did. I explained our situation and I told her I couldn't keep babysitting for free on a full time basis because it left me no time to get a real job that pays. We came to an agreement that she would pay me $100/week or like $35/day and I agreed to claim it on my taxes so she could have it as child care credit on her taxes. This was the 2nd year babysitting.
During the 3rd year babysitting my son in law got a new job that often takes him out of town. Now instead of leaving by 3-4pm, I'm there till 5 or 6pm when another grandma takes over until about 8 or 9pm when my daughter gets home from work. One night a week I do stay until she gets home, giving me like a 15 hour day. I'm spending at least 10 more hours per week babysitting than I used to.
Now daughter is pregnant and when I half joking half serious told her that after the baby is born I was considering raising the rates from $35/day to $50/day she completely lost it. As in threatening to just put them both in daycare and never letting me see them again. I tried telling her that since son in law out of town so much that my days are longer now, 10 extra hours a week was basically another day. She wasn't having it and just threw in my face how much my mom helped me when she was little. For free. Because that's what grandmas do.
Am I the asshole for charging my daughter to babysitt? Should I have just quit babysitting, made them put him in daycare and gotten a real job 2 years ago? At the time I felt like it was a good compromise. They pay me less than a daycare would cost so it's good for them and while I don't make anywhere near what a real job would pay it helps my budget just enough that I can keep my head above water. Unfortunately, I'm just financially not able to do this for free like other grandma's do.
Am I the asshole because she pays me at all?
Am I the asshole because I brought up more money for more hours/more kids, that are my grandkids? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 88,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 90,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
rQGwKQa8kmJnKdlTRWRMQRtdvFFEWV9A | 9uyykc | {
"description": "getting pissed and honking at a cyclist",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for getting pissed and honking at a cyclist | A couple of days ago I was leaving my school with my and drove past my school where a lot of cyclists come onto the road. I had right of way, however I was very careful because a lot of cyclists don't know or ignore traffic rules and just think they have right of way because they're a cyclist (which frustrates me quite a bit). When I was driving past a cyclist ignored me and drove right in front of me, which had me braking pretty hard (no emergency brake) so I didn't hit her. I honked and got pretty pissed at her for not paying attention. A couple of guys standing 20 meters away got pissed at me for honking at her. I feel pretty bad that I didn't keep my cool.
AITA because I lost my temper and got pissed?
Fyi: I yelled at her a bit from my car but didn't insult her or something like that. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
miuTvZ0LegVWKWpkQojcam3Jc3kSYsGB | aw2mdb | {
"description": "trying to get my roommates emotional support dog removed",
"pronormative_score": 91,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for trying to get my roommates emotional support dog removed? | I live in dorm style, on campus housing at a University with 3 other girls for 6 months now. It’s tight quarters, but things have generally been very chill and we’ve all become good friends.
One roommate “M” has an emotional support dog who is two years old. The first week we moved in, the dog shit all over my rug and shoes and peed on my other roommate “H”’s bed. H and I tried to talk to M about it, but as soon as we brought it up she started crying. So, since we didn’t know her very well, we kinda just let it go to keep the peace.
Since then, the dog has peed or pooped in the apartment about twice a week. I often clean it up. It sheds constantly and she never vacuums. M works long hours and keeps the dog locked in a small kennel for about 8 hours a day. When she comes home from work at 11pm or so, she doesn’t take the dog out, she just goes to bed and takes her out in the morning. She takes her out maybe twice a day, but never on a walk, just to go pee in the courtyard of the apartment building. She even had a tinder guy come to spend the night and the dog peed on her bed during the hookup!
H and I used to take the dog out because we felt bad for it, but M would get on our case about not locking her cage right and other small stuff. We didn’t want it to become our issue so we stopped.
The dog is very poorly behaved. It has bitten M on the face, growled and tried to bite guests, and it barks constantly. M lets it eat off our plates and generally do whatever she wants. She does not know any basic commands like sit or down or whatever.
It’s really been getting on my nerves. About a month ago I talked to her in a very non confrontational way and very “let’s work this out together” attitude. I thought it went well, but the next day the dog shat on the floor again! I talked to her again the next week. Nothing changed.
So todayyyyyy, she texted in the roommate group chat “I have said this before but you guys need to make sure the sponge isn’t damp after doing your dishes” and that was my last straw boy o boy.
She is upset about such a minute detail when there’s the giant issue of her awful dog at hand.
So I went down to the front desk and told them my concerns. The receptionist gave me the email of the apartment manager & said that if her service dog was acting this way she could be removed. I emailed the manager and she’s going to talk to M this week. I don’t think the dog will be taken away, I think I’ll just be moved apartments, but I guess we’ll see.
I really feel so awful for doing this. I know it’s not the dogs fault & I want her to have a nice life and this isn’t it. I don’t want her dog to be taken from her, but I was just so tired of dealing w this every day. Her mom has a nice big yard and other dogs. The dog would be so much happier there. I do feel like such an asshole though because it’s her emotional support animal. I’m having inner turmoil & I can’t sleep. What do y’all think?? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 91,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 91,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
0SnM65RcIGEbuhsy3zhwjG2iwCiZr8RE | aa19b3 | {
"description": "moving out if my husband doesn't stop smoking",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | WIBTA for moving out if my husband doesn't stop smoking? | Married for four years but together for 12 and we have a young child together. A couple months ago my husband suddenly started smoking cigarettes again. I say again because he was a smoker when I met him 12 years ago but managed to hide it from me for almost the first entire year of dating -- I know, great way to start a relationship with a lie -- but somehow we got through it. I told him if he wanted to move in together he needed to quit smoking, which he did, and other than that and a few minor things he's always been honest about everything else and has not smoked the entire time we've been together (that I know of).
The last two years have been rough, admittedly. Our baby was a very difficult newborn and cried and screamed all the time for no reason, and still today is a very poor sleeper and high needs, but he's a good kid and my husband was/is excited to be a dad. So it was strange when a few months ago out of the blue he told me he had started smoking again at work. Of course I asked why, and he said he'd been feeling stressed out from lack of sleep, work, etc. and he just had the urge to smoke again and it's been helping him cope with the stress. I've tried numerous times to talk to him to get to the root of what exactly is stressing him out and why he took up smoking again - because we've both been under the same stress for the last two years and he managed to not smoke that whole time; in fact, for awhile he was working out daily and that seemed to be working as his outlet.
Things were complicated when his mother passed away in October, although they were not close and he hadn't seen her in over a decade. He'd already been smoking for awhile but was promising to quit until then. Now, he refuses to try to quit because he says he is still grieving, which is understandable, but I am not ok with him smoking indefinitely and I am at the point where I feel his smoking is negatively affecting me and our son. Although he only smokes outside and claims he doesn't smoke in front of our son, he still reeks of smoke when he comes in and we are not sleeping in the same bed anymore because he would smoke right before bed and I couldn't tolerate the smell of him coming to bed smelling of smoke (I don't have a medical issue but I'm very sensitive to the smell and always have been). On top of that, he coughs and hacks loudly now in the mornings and at night which is both depressing (for his health's sake) and annoying, and wakes me and sometimes our son up. He also will try to go long stretches when he's home without smoking so that he doesn't smell, but of course this results in him being moody all the time from the nicotine withdrawals and he'll snap at me and for no reason. I guess what saddens me the most is even if he is not willing to try quitting for me, he should want to for his son's sake. Yes he's still too little to really understand what smoking is but he won't be forever.
\*\*TL;DR\*\*: Husband started smoking a few months ago and is not willing to quit anytime soon.
I know it's only been a few months and he's still grieving his mother, but would I be the asshole if I gave him the ultimatum of either quitting within a certain timeframe or me and our son moving out (or he moves out, but obviously I can't force that as it's his home too)? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"OTHER": 3,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
js3YrgsYrvt1aL0OqIlhKOqMJ3ASZSbF | b9qnuy | {
"description": "saying my husband absolutely can't get a motorcycle",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 19
} | AITA for saying my husband absolutely can't get a motorcycle? | Throwaway in case he sees this. He may anyways but I'll deal with that if it happens.
Husband is 34, smartest guy I know academically but common sense challenged. He's a geologist for a major oil company and works very, very hard and makes a good living. But we have had to live in some real shit holes over the years (like SA, where I really didn't leave our company compound for 2 years). We are back in the LA area and he thinks now we have "open roads" (the 405...what?) he wants a motorcycle.
I am dead against it. They are too dangerous, it probably won't get used, it's a bad example for the kids, it looks super douche-bro, and I think he'll move onto his next hobby and forget about it.
We aren't getting divorced over this or anything but our opposing stances are causing major friction. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 19,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 19
} | WRONG |
5qD1pIJVCma33frnBKjyJ9tBMHzql5ho | afd7yg | {
"description": "being mad at my boyfriend for taking 6 hours to have dinner with friends",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being mad at my boyfriend for taking 6 hours to have dinner with friends? | This is currently happening and I’m still waiting for him to come back actually.
I’m really upset and angry that my (19f) boyfriend (22m) went out for dinner with his mates tonight, no problem at all, he said he wouldn’t be long. Text me when he got to the restaurant was busy so he’d be back a little bit later than planned. Cool.
It’s now been 6 hours since he left me at his house basically confined to his room as I don’t know his parents very well and I’d feel awkward sitting with them by myself.
I just want to point out I have no problem him seeing his mates however if he had told me he would be this long I would of made my own plans to see people instead of being bored by myself.
Am I over reacting? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 5,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
E9Tko257ikPl7MLFXLc8TpsE7Q9LPAor | aqdohl | {
"description": "hooking up with my ex's close friend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | WIBTA if i hooked up with my ex’s close friend? | 20/f. so my ex and i dated for three years. we broke up like 9 months ago. it was a very amicable/mutual breakup. it’s not that we didn’t love each other anymore, there was just a lot of differences we could never settle between us and we decided it was better to just end things. that being said, we didn’t speak to each other for about 5 months after our break up. but recently we have managed to be friends again. we’re not super close or anything, but i talk to him maybe once a month.
anyway, recently one of my ex’s very close friends has been hitting me up/insinuating hooking up. i honestly am attracted to him. it’s not like i want to hook up with him just to spite my ex. i just think he’s hot lol.
i know for a fact that he didn’t mention any of this to my ex. i really want to go through with it. but i feel like if my ex found out it would affect their friendship. it would also probably affect my friendship with my ex. idk if it’s an asshole move or not considering i think both my ex and i have moved on. and i feel like it’s not my responsibility anymore to have to look out for my ex’s feelings in that regard, plus his friend is the one who initiated this whole thing sooo...???? idk lol.
so before i make a decision, WIBTA? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
ZX2IulgfAbRCfcb9ocM32naXoi9dMgwc | amtykc | {
"description": "getting pissed off about my new loud neighbours",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for getting pissed off about my new loud neighbours? | Hi, my first post on here but I've used Reddit lot before this, this is just a new account. Recently, my one of my neighbours (a quiet old lady) died and a new family moved in. For the first few days, they weren't actually living there (they were moving things in, but staying somewhere else) so things were quiet like usual, but since they've moved in the amount of noise has been abysmal. Every single day I can hear their baby crying and screaming, and my bedroom is right next to their bathroom (all the houses have the same layout) so I hear every shit and piss they take. This has been affecting the little amount of sleep I do get (usually it takes me until 2AM to get to sleep if I can sleep at all) and making it even more common for me to have sleepless nights. The worst part is that the house is owned and rented by the local authority, so it would be impossible to get soundproofing put in without a tremendous amount of money out of MY pocket (money that I don't have right now). AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
RxJsQz58Foo78nbMyPndwVp7ZC6bkdFC | a40pwf | {
"description": "not backing up in a dark parking lot",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for not backing up in a dark parking lot? | This happened last night and it's still bothering me a little this morning, so y'all tell me if I was the asshole.
Last night I went out to dinner. It was after dark by the time I was done and the parking lot for this restaurant is poorly lit and the lanes are only one car width wide. Basically, it's one way through the lot entrance to exit, with a small side lot behind the restaurant that you can circle.
I was leaving the parking lot and drove towards the exit. A car was stopped in the lane, blocking the way out. The reverse lights then came on and the car started backing up. I honked and it stopped, but was still in reverse. There was a parking space that it looks like he wanted to get into, but he'd gone too far forward. He didn't have to backup to get to it, he just had to drive about 10 more feet and turn left to get to the spot from the other side, since you could park from front or back in this single row of spots.
So, we sat like this for a few minutes. Him in reverse, not moving, and me in drive, not moving. It was pretty obvious he wanted me to back up to let him in the space, but in order to do that I would have had to back up in a dark lot in a narrow lane -- not straight back, but around a curve. I didn't want to do this and risk hitting anything or anyone. The lot was pretty crowded and there were people going to their cars.
I got out of the car and pointed to where he needed to turn to come at the space from the other side. He said I should just back up so he could get the spot. I said that I didn't want to back up, that I wanted to continue driving forward. I don't know why I used such odd phrasing, that's just what came out of my mouth. We were both visibly annoyed, but civil.
I got back in my car and waited. A couple of minutes later, he moved out of the way and I left the lot.
FWIW, there were no cars behind me. I could have backed up, and might have done so if it were daylight or the parking lot was better lit, but it was too dark. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 8
} | RIGHT |
wjm9UYyeRbJgg4ghjgMZhawWdfi5TaOZ | b9qr4u | {
"description": "running away from a guy trying to follow me and talk to me",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for running away from a guy trying to follow me and talk to me? | (G,17) I was in comic book shop this evening with my friend and was talking about japanese mangas. In that moment we passed through this guy bit older than us who must have overheard us. Me and my friend splitted for a moment and this guy followed me around saying out loud names of manga comics, like he was looking for them, while obviously looking at me. I was ok with that, i thought it was cute so i kind of smiled at him. We left the shop to buy some water and yep, the guy was following us everywhere. 10 minutes passed we got on escalator. That guy stood directly behind me and said he likes my shoes. I got kinda scared. I didn't say anything, but i grabbed my friend and almost runned away to the first shop we saw. The guy probably understood it and disappeared. So AITA? Was he just shy and trying to make a conversation? In my opinion, i wasn't. He followed me around and there are 10 times more appropriate was to talk to someone. But i'm still not sure. So Reddit, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
iq3k7L8LvwgNXea2RnGP5L54lyyX6c02 | b031b3 | {
"description": "not showing up for work tomorrow",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | WIBTA If I didn't show up for work tomorrow? | I'm scheduled to work tomorrow morning. I'm a security guard at a mall in a really good part of town. Good coverage on a normal day is three people and we will have double that the next few weeks for no immediately discernible reason. This for shift is also an overtime shift, so I'd be getting paid time and a half. I've thought about not showing up just to see if they would even notice.
WIBTA? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
YCRWFzKbSgzzDALxDvz5pvGC9abydchc | b9ldag | {
"description": "saying f you to my mom and hanging up during a fight when she was upset",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for saying f you to my mom and hanging up during a fight when she was upset? | Hi all, long time lurker without an account until now.
About a month and a half ago, my mom (62F) and I (28F) had a \~2 hr long fight over the phone. It started with her accusing me of making up stories to try to make her look and feel bad---I showed her written and picture proof of the event I was talking about (I was an avid journaler during the time that we were fighting about), and told her I was really not okay with being called a liar when I obviously wasn't. The fight then meandered through a bunch of other issues, and ended with her demanding examples of her being overly critical, which I provided, easily, as she is a textbook tiger mother. She reacted by straight up calling me a liar ("you know what, you are such a liar") and I told her "f you" and hung up on her.
We are neither a fighting family nor a swearing family (my sister and I used to get in trouble for saying "that sucks") so this was a REALLY BIG DEAL. My sister (32F) told me I was way out of line and need to apologize. My dad also said that I should apologize because she's the only mother I'll ever have. I'm was/am still stuck on how my own mother called me a liar (twice) because she didn't want to admit that she did some irrational/imperfect things. I told my sister that I wasn't okay with just lying down and taking whatever verbal and emotional abuse our mom dishes out to us anymore, but my sister said that by telling her to go f herself I was abusing her.
My sister also brought up the point that our mom definitely has some mental health issues and she can't help herself so we should be understanding. She is undiagnosed because she's resistant to going to see anyone, but depression is definitely on the table. And she had just been really upset by something my dad did (long story) so she was probably feeling particularly fragile at the moment. So maybe I was too harsh and should've apologized. My mom and I are both extremely stubborn (apple, tree) so we haven't talked at all since except that I texted her happy birthday last month (not talking isn't atypical though, I never call because of the whole overly critical thing). AITA for not apologizing?
tl;dr: my mom was upset about something, we had a fight where called me a liar twice when I wasn't. I told her f you and hung up, still haven't apologized despite sister and dad insisting, AITA | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
GYdwXtwFCeQMqlvlfqXtVQq1ZWqjWs2d | amspl3 | {
"description": "letting my friend get quarantine at my job",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for letting my friend get quarantine at my job? | So I work as a bartender in a pretty busy bar. Our clientele is 25+,but since we are located in the suburbs, we get a lot of young guests on Friday and Saturday nights (in Denmark, it's legal if you're 18).
We were out drinking on my day of, and my friend D was getting super drunk. He was really embarrassing the whole evening, shouting at my co-workers that they were too slow (which is the most stressful and annoying part of my job) and being a douche. Later that night, I went home with my boo, but D and the others stayed. When the bar closed, he wanted to come inside to turn on his phone (its was too cold to turn it on). He was told no, and the situation got heated. He ended up actually making one of the guards trip and fall (he had recently had surgery). The next day, I felt the need to give them his name and FB-account, which I did, and he got quarantine for life. This sucks, since we hang out there a lot, but Im not sure weather it was the right thing for me to do. Am I (also) The Asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
EdDCDR3JNtqexbctvAD6St6clcxTXSQN | ah5uhb | {
"description": "yelling at a motoecicylist who cut me off to get in line to exit",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for yelling at a motoecicylist who cut me off to get in line to exit | As I was exiting with my turn signal to get off the highway this motorcyclist swiped in without enough room and made me slam my brakes. I had the window down when this happened and yelled at him when he got next to me in the double lane exit ramp he just flipped me the bird and took off when the light is green sorry for the bad texting I'm on phone and stil ln shaking at my house | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
JwJWA5F7Btxit8ac9BmpPL3avLgNgDOR | apizju | {
"description": "being busy and getting annoyed with my friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being busy and getting annoyed with my friend | So this is a little complicated. I have a friend who I'm very close to, and we have dated on and off so it's still kinda Inbetween friends and more than friends. I'm 17, in college, and I'm generally fairly busy. I've known him since I was 13, so he knows me generally fairly well.
Now I like double texts such as people sending me multiple wholesome photos, texts, stuff I reminded them of, stories they wanted to tell me, etc etc.
What I hate?
"hey"
"hello????"
"?????"
":(((("
"hello....???"
That kinda stuff, and they do this all the time. I've Been generally busy today and more so lately in general, so I haven't really been texting anyone but my best friend (we haven't gotten a lot of time to talk due to their poor mental health, but they're getting better and we talk more!!)
Now, for example, today I spent my day at college and then at home playing pokemon let's go, cause I hadn't had the time to play it or any other game pretty much since it came out and I wanted to relax.
Now I have about 10 text messages over the span of the past 5 hours, all along the lines of "hello???? :(" kinda stuff. Him getting annoyed and grumpy I'm not responding. I'm. Busy.
I didn't wanna respond when I saw this because I knew I was gonna be really annoyed and he would probably still not get why. Yes, I've told him I hate this behaviour. No, he hasn't stopped.
Now I did respond kinda annoyed just saying "for the love of God could you please stop" and he's kinda pissed at me.
Am I the asshole? I know, I could've told him I was busy, but I've generally told him before and it doesn't really seem to matter. And when I tell him it feels kinda guilt trippy like "OK... I'll leave for now". Not too bad, but not great either.
I wanna add onto that, one of his texts was him being annoyed and going "I know you're at school but I want attention."
Am I the asshole?
Ps: sorry for the messy post | HISTORICAL | {
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BKCQjmXLe2qHdaAQd3jBhXMmY4SU9yvi | b0tgzd | {
"description": "thinking he used me",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for thinking he used me? | Sorry for long story but I’m super emotional right now and not in the best mindset.
I have been seeing this guy for the past couple of months. We’ve had sex (my first time) but we’ve never gone on any dates. I expressed that I wanted him to meet my father and he said he would. But every time I try to plan something for him to meet him, something comes up.
He’s never taken me out on any dates because he just doesn’t have the money and lately he hasn’t been texting me like he normally would. He doesn’t say good morning or goodnight or I love you. I always start the conversation first. And when I bring it up, he makes me feel bad that I’m concerned about it.
He told me today that his coworker met my father and told my father that he took one of his female friends out for coffee last Friday. He barely had any time for me that day. Wouldn’t even call me to say goodnight.
I bring up that as soon as I asked him to meet my dad, as soon as I wanted a real relationship, he stoped coming over. He stoped being affectionate. He says that I’m paranoid and that I obviously don’t know him.
I tell him that I feel like he used me for sex. He flips out. Says that he’s so mad at me for even suggesting that.
AITA? Don’t be afraid to be harsh. | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 10,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
L1iduqBdmhfJLNxqEcTV7a1UOPCYM77z | b48qyg | {
"description": "cutting my cousin out of my life",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for cutting my cousin out of my life | I grew up being very close with my cousin. We spent every holiday together and made snow creatures every winter; one year he just stopped coming. We were young (hes a year older) but it still made me sad
As we got older it got more awkward. Id try to talk to him but in middle school he was the cool kid, I was the emo kid. When people would talk about me he wouldnt defend me and wouldnt say hi when he saw me. At family gatherings he ignored me until everyone else left (and I mean literally anyone ages 10-20) for him to talk to and only then would he give me attention
My freshman year (his sophomore year) he was quarterback on our football team and I’d dropped my emo status and joined the cheer team. I told him how it made me sad that he’d ignore me and how he was basically my brother 1 year and the next a stranger. He told me he was sorry and that we would fix it. for a bit we did. He became my best friend, offered to bring me food on days I didnt have lunch, high five me in hallways, hug me after football games, talk to me when I was sad
Then one day he decided to add to the stigma of football players in HS. he let his grades drop and started doing drugs and drinking all the time. When people would make fun of me he’d start laughing with them and stopped saying hi when he saw me. He even let someone on the FB team take a picture of our text conversation and post it making fun of me. He himself didn’t say anything mean but he didnt defend me or tell them to take it down either
Soon he stopped altogether. He wouldnt text me often anymore. We went to our school ball and he didnt say a word to me the entire time even when I approached him. when he started doing drugs and partying he let go of me again. I dont care about that stuff but he’d been against it his whole life
When my birthday came it was my sweet 16, I invited him. I called him just before it to make sure he was coming. He said he was but he’d be late. He never came and my sister who lived with my nana at the time came at the end of the party and told me that my cousin had came to see my nana who had cancer like he said he was (he told me that’s why he’d be late), said he napped the whole time, left hours before said he was, went to get drunk with his pals + told my family not to tell me
There was proof online. later I get a text from him that says “Hey cuz, left nanas pretty late and I assumed you’d be cleaning up by the time I showed up so I just didnt. Sorry to disappoint<3” I never replied, I haven’t spoken to him since. It was the 4th birthday he said he’d be at and didnt come to. He hasn’t made an effort to reach out to me but I feel bad for cutting him off. in every situation where its me or someone else he chooses them. When we see each other at the gym he looks at me like hes expecting a convo and I dont approach him. I didnt speak to him at nanas funeral even though he expected me to
AITA for cutting my cousin out of my life? | HISTORICAL | {
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EZxnEZx6XJPkiEsCQFECKaRTMVUPTsqm | 9y2z9b | {
"description": "checking games on the tv turned into getting kicked out of a friend's house",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA? Checking games on the tv turned into getting kicked out of a friend’s house. | So this happened about an hour ago so I’m still a little shocked, but ill try to explain in as much detail as I can. Tonight, I decided to drop in on some friends and they were watching some football. We ended up deciding to go to the bowling alley and we were out there for about an hour, had two beers and left. Ended up going and getting a daiquiri that I wanted to drink later on in the night. We get back to my friend’s place and he puts on a game. At the end of the third quarter, I ask if there are any basketball games on. My friend says he doesn’t know, there should be. I say, “alright, I’m gunna check what’s on real quick” and start scrolling through the guide with the game still on behind the lower panel showing the other channels. He says, “I don’t give a shit what’s on, I’m not changing the game”. I’m thinking at this point he’s messing with me, cause surely no one would be upset by me checking the channels real quick. I jokingly reply, “I don’t give a shit either man. I ain’t gunna change it, I’m just seeing what’s on real quick. I won’t change the channel”. He suddenly gets up and rips the remote out of my hand and yells at me to get out. I sit there stunned for a second and then I say “I wasn’t going to change the channel man, I was just seeing what’s on”. My other friends are just staring now. He then says, “I don’t give a shit, get the fuck out”. I said, “are you serious?” He just responds, “yes, get out”. At this point, I get really pissed off because this is such a stupid thing and I have the urge to actually swing because I’m a bit tired of some of the shit he’s pulled in the past, but I think better of it and just tell the rest of the group, “have a good night guys”. And get in my car and leave this house he shares with two of our mutual friends that weren’t home. I waited about 15 minutes to cool down and then text him to apologize and say I’m sorry if what I did came off across the wrong way, I just wanted to see what games were on to check the scores of the games later on. He responds and tells me “if it’s not your house, you’re not the boss of shit. That’s fucking stupid. If you wanted to check the games, you could’ve just looked at your phone just like you could with scores”. That just pissed me off even more, but I tried being civil and said, “you’re right, I could’ve just checked my phone, I’m sorry if it came off that I was bossing anyone around, that’s not how I meant to come off.” And he just hasn’t responded, probably won’t. Then he’ll just try to pretend it won’t happen like he does with other stuff, but I’m about fed up and thinking about just breaking off the friendship altogether which is unfortunate because he’s part of our friend group and I feel that means I may not be hanging with that friend group as much anymore.
TL;DR: My friend kicked me out of his house because I was checking what other games were on tv while still watching the game that he wanted to see. | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
OxCsjmwiglKRgErr1EaPTfeEeizEDrfV | af2id9 | {
"description": "forcing a free resize on a ring",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for forcing a free resize on a ring? | Long story short, I got engaged. I told my S/O I wanted a particular style stone from a particular small jeweler I found on Etsy. Their reviews were great and I had good contact with the owner while trying to decide what I wanted.
My S/O and I went to the jewelry store and got my ring size. Voila magic I’m done.
He orders a ring in the style I like, from the company I sent his way, in the size we checked for.
He proposes. The ring doesn’t fit. I’m like ok clearly the size was wrong. It’s not extremely loose, but just loose enough to make you worry. I message the jewelry shop saying I want to see if I can resize, they say no problem $100 and to ship their way. I’m out of town for 10 days so I say I’m gonna check with a jeweler to resize it when I get back where I don’t have to pay shipping.
I come back home, take it to a large national jewelry chain and ask them to give me my finger size so I can get the ring resized. They tell me the size is the same as before we purchased the ring. Then I ask them to measure the ring, they tell me it’s 1/4 size larger than my size. I’m like um... confused. So I’m like ok, let me take it somewhere else and check.
I take it to another large national jeweler and they tell me the same thing. I take photos at both places with the ring being measured the incorrect size. I send them to my S/O.
We escalate a case through the purchasing site to ask for a resize since it was 1/4 size too large and not what was ordered. We provide the photos showing it’s too large. We make them send a shipping label to send it back (we give an alternative that we could drop it off - the shop is literally 20 min from my home but they didn’t bite) and they do.
They get the ring back in the mail and say that it is the correct size. They send picture of it on another ring sizer showing the correct size. They say they will resize it 1/4 smaller and ship it back, costing them around $100 for shipping and they didn’t charge the $100 resize fee - saying they lost $200 on the deal.
The business says we are not being fair - and saying we are making inaccurate accusations that they made an error. My S/O spent thousands of dollars on this ring and just wanted it to be perfect.
TL;DR: Ordered a ring that cost several thousand dollars in a particular size. Ring didn’t fit. Two different jewelers say it’s a larger size than ordered. Escalated to get it fixed. Shop says it’s the right size, and unfair they lose $200 on resizing and shipping charges.
AITA for making them resize it without paying their fee? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
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} | RIGHT |
axv8vjiOirpu4pSZnDfItkroelWcSrZx | akm05h | {
"description": "getting annoyed at my bf for treating my venting like an opening to a debate",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for getting annoyed at my bf for treating my venting like an opening to a debate? | This is not a fundamental one, just something that I could use a level-headed perspective on. My bf and I listen to political podcasts frequently. Eventhough we agree on most big topics, there are some things we see differently and we have discussed them fiercely but lovingly in the past. He is a little more on the right, while i am a little more on the left. Now there was a podcast that really hit a nerve with me and upset me, because I found it callous and racist. I texted my bf quotes from the interview and told him why they upset me so much. He then proceeded to take the counterposition and to explain to me why he actually agreed with some of the speaker’s points. I told him that i was not in the mood for a discussion and that he should let one go every once in a while and just be my supporting and understanding boyfriend. He then ended the conversation by stating that if I didnt want his opinion, I shouldnt have texted him the quotes. AITA for expecting him to feel the room and leave aside the political quarreling? Not everything needs to be a debate. One of the reasons why I love him is precisely that he is opinionated and well-spoken. I wouldnt want him to ever have to compromise or betray his political beliefs, which are part of his identity. AITA to ask him to write/say something nice and not to take a position/counterposition? Dont get me wrong, I dont want him agreeing with me. It would just be nice if he acknowledged that I was upset and not treat the conversation like a debate. Am I being too sensitive here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
FWNW5K09ocUa0YHRftItlqk5Jo3hYh8F | ap3gzg | {
"description": "getting with the girl my friend has had a crush on for a long time",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for getting with the girl my friend has had a crush on for a long time? | My friend has had a crush on this girl for like 7 months or so and I've been talking to her like 3/4 months and she's dropping hints all the time but I'm scared to act because it would be disrespectful to my friend who has had a crush on her for a longer time. But the thing is; my other friends say that my chances with her are waaaayyy higher than my other friend's chances. So, whaddya think? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
toO2peF937lJErzCaEk5DzmaZY0OqOMO | a70s5h | {
"description": "cutting off a once close friend who basicslly forgot me while I was busy",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for cutting off a once close friend who basicslly forgot me while I was busy? | So a little background info; I was dating this girl about a year back and we had a mutual friend whom she had introduced me to. This friend, let's call her Stephanie, was down with clinical depression and dropped out of school so she didn't have any friends except for the girl I was dating back then. However the girl and my relationship was very toxic, and both Stephanie and I realised that too late. I finally broke off with the girl and Stephanie cut her out as well.
After that, I was basically lost and alone as well. We were both at our lowest since she lost her only other friend and we both only had each other to fall back on. We tried our best to support each other and all, but after some time I got busy and wasn't able to keep in contact with her as much. During this time, she's made a huge improvement with herself, finding many new friends and even having a close circle of friends (according to what I see on social media), all while I was busy with school.
It's been half a year since I have had a real conversation with Stephanie. It was her birthday recently and I was disheartened to find out that she held a party without sending me an invite. I felt angry because I was there for her at the times she was at her lowest. She was also always there for me, when I got busy I did try my best to keep the friendship going but I didn't feel the effort from her anymore and we'd go for weeks or months without contact. She's basically forgotten me, and because of this I cut her off from my life without telling her. I'm happy for her and all, that she's found friends, but I feel very underappreciated in this situation and i'm not the kind of guy who deals very well with my emotions, especially in situations like these.
Am I the asshole for cutting her off? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
y4oDei8DeLQtc1A7Du18NdYboUFOx42S | 9w98j0 | {
"description": "pretending to love my bf for a year then dumped him",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA: I pretended to love my bf for a year then dumped him. | So I dated this guy for 2 years, we have some great times and he made me happy. But last year 2017 he went to America to work at a camp and when he was away he got drunk and made out with a girl. When he came back I found out, it really hurt me but I pretended to be fine. But I no longer trusted him and would get upset a lot and was unhappy I soon realised i no longer loved him. I did not tell him this, until he came back from holiday this year. We were supposed to be moving into our own flat together he came up with all his stuff and moved in tho after a week I told him I didn't love him and didn't want to be with him any more. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
XTQ30tqBX6B9K77jFubukgqlzBTYweWd | b4t7un | {
"description": "being uncomfortable with my boyfriend spending time in the presence of other girls",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for being uncomfortable with my boyfriend spending time in the presence of other girls? | I know this isn’t a relationship sub, but I really need to know who is in the wrong here.
Title sounds bad, but here’s some backstory. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship since freshman year of high school, and we are now both living together as adults in college.
Throughout high school, he cheated on me several times. Once with my best friend, once with a close family friend’s daughter, and several more times... that I know of. Each time, I found out months after the cheating had occurred so I obviously developed serious trust issues from being lied to so much. I stayed with him because I was young and dumb, the same way he cheated because he was young and dumb. We have both matured immensely since we’ve graduated and are not the same people we were as teenagers—like most people.
He’s grown into a great guy. He works really hard, is completely open and transparent with me, and I really have no doubts about him being loyal. Despite this, being effed over by him so many times in high school has left me a lot of trauma to deal with. Yes, I see a therapist.
Here’s an example of my trust issues in action: a few months ago, he wanted to spend the night at a friend’s house. Several male friends would be there, along with two girls that my boyfriend and I have previously hung out with /together/. I explained to him that I wasn’t comfortable with him spending the night (and drinking/getting high) at a house where two attractive women would also be spending the night at. He told me that I was being ridiculous and that my trust issues were baseless since all of his unfaithfulness happened back in high school and there would be other people there.
Obviously I couldn’t stop him, and I couldn’t tell him he couldn’t go, so he went anyways and everything turned out fine and he didn’t try anything at the party (not that I really expected him to). I was still really upset that he went and completely brushed off my concerns.
Stuff like this happens from time to time and while I never actually think he’s going to cheat on me, I also feel like he isn’t being empathetic enough. Every time I bring up being uncomfortable about a situation, he gets mad at me for “bringing up sh*t from the past” rather than taking responsibility for the trust issues he created for the first 4 years of our relationship.
So AITA for being unable (unwilling, maybe? Not entirely sure) to simply get over what he put me through while we were in high school? Is there any way you guys think we can compromise? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 1,
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} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
xWz3B56eba134ou1wH4xwhiw0bsEHPfi | 9zzm4r | {
"description": "ghosting an old friend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for ghosting an old friend? | 10 years ago I was a freshman in college. I lived in a small dorm with about 40ish other freshman. We were all kinda friends and knew each other, and for most of the year all of us would host or show up at the same parties. After freshman year we all moved into other dorms, a lot of us transferred to other schools, and by our junior/senior years, most of us weren’t speaking much.
Fast forward 6 years from that, I’m engaged to a girl I met at that freshman dorm. We reconnected after a few years of not speaking, started dating, one thing led to another. Only two other people from our old freshmen dorm got invited to the wedding, but I heard from a lot of them in the year leading up to it, mostly just a quick “hey congrats, how have you been all these years?” But there was one who went far, far beyond that.
For the sake of anonymity, I’m gonna call him Dave. Dave texted me about a month before the wedding and said “Hey I saw on Facebook you and (wife) were getting married, congrats”. I didn’t have his number saved, as I haven’t talked to him in 8 or 9 years and we live in different states now, so I didn’t know who it was at first. For whatever reason, I decided not to ask who I was texting, I just texted back “Thanks a lot!” and left it at that. He did not text me back.
The next day I was on my lunch break at work and I looked at my phone. I had FOUR missed calls from that number I was texting yesterday. He never left a message, never sent another text, just called me four times. I was a little creeped out so I never called back. This continued every day that week. Sometimes he’d call me twice, other days three times, but by the end of that week I had 20+ missed calls from him, but no voicemails and no more texts. I want to point out that I’m not allowed to have my phone out at my job, and ALL of these calls came between 8:30am and 12:30pm or 1:30pm and 5:30pm. I was on the clock every single time he called.
That next weekend I decided to figure out who it was. I had a different friend who I didn’t go to college with call this number from his phone. Dave answers on the first ring and, with no hesitation, provides his first and last name to a complete stranger. Then my friend hung up using the excuse that it was the wrong number.
At this point I was halfway considering answering the next call, because this WAS someone that my wife and my then-fiancé used to hang out with semi-frequently. He lived in our building and dated one of our other friends for a little while. It wasn’t COMPLETELY unreasonable that he’d want to catch up. But for some reason the aggression with which he called me after not talking or seeing him for 8-9 years just made me feel uneasy about it. I explained this situation to another friend from the same college who knew us both and his response was “What the fuck? Is Dave ok in the head?”
Although I did at first intend to answer one of Dave’s many calls after I found out who it was, he continued to only call me during business hours and to do so multiple times per day, without ever texting or leaving a voicemail. I allowed this to go on for two weeks, and then finally I decided I had to block his number. I had no idea where the conversation would go after 60+ missed calls, but I decided I didn’t want to have it anymore. I finally blocked his number.
So my question to you is, am I the asshole here? I do feel bad about blocking the number and never responding to him after that one text, but the fact that he kept calling multiple times a day after I didn’t answer the first time just made me extremely uncomfortable to the point where I feel like I made the right choice. Is it the asshole choice though?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
Ojs6Dzj8u2BUhX0MFttsl9FNyuruQCs7 | adbkhk | {
"description": "not wanting a friend to travel with me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | Aita for not wanting a friend to travel with me? | So there’s always more to the story than the title implies. Here’s the gist: my friend and I are uni students who live on campus. I went to school far from home, so I’ll be flying back to campus. To get to campus from the airport, I’ll take an airport shuttle, which you book a ticket for by giving your flight information (origin, flight departure/landing times, etc). My friend is local to the city, it’s not hard for her family to drop her off at campus (that was her plan until she learned about how I was getting there). A few days ago, she texted me asking for my flight number and arrival time and the name of the shuttle service, specifically so that she can book a ticket on the bus and be on the same one as I am. The shuttle route is three hours, twice the time it would have taken for her to drive with her family. When I asked why she needed my flight information, she replied “I booked a shuttle ticket so I could get to campus with you.” I’m a very independent person, and love traveling alone. I’m angry at having company imposed on me, especially after fourteen hours of flying and driving and being up since 2am. Also, the shuttle service is for people who actually need a way home from the airport, hence the reason why you need flight information to book a ticket. I haven’t told my sort of friend how I feel about this because I also feel bad about being irritated. Reddit, am I the asshole for feeling that this is exceptionally clingy, inconsiderate to me and people who actually depend on that shuttle and seriously considering distancing myself from this person over this conflict? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
2m6UXXUFpznyDCd48tDIKlqYJbwlhbNR | ae6vlc | {
"description": "not apologizing to my girlfriend for misinterpreting her words",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 15
} | AITA for not apologizing to my girlfriend for misinterpreting her words | My girlfriend and I seem to be at a cross roads with this and I am not sure if ITA or just losing my mind.
First of I do not clam indemnity in any of this, I know I can and have misinterpreted what she has said to me in the past, however there are times like last night that I am not sure what I am to do.
She will often say one thing to me and mean another, the best example I can use is through text messages from last night:
&#x200B;
Me: I'll be honest I'm sorry it has come to this with me staying out of the house, but it is the only way I know I won't piss you off.
Her: Yeah me too.
Me: I'm glad you finally agree with me.
Her: Not what I meant but ok.
Me: Well what did you mean then? Bc that looks like you're agreeing with me wholy.
Her: I was meaning me to as in I'm sorry it came to this.
(This is all written directly from the texts spelling errors and all)
&#x200B;
She told me on the phone after this that I should have to apologize to her for taking what she said in a different context.
I don't see how I could have possibly taken what she said in any different way other than at face value. I live in a land of logic and reason, and it is eternally frustrating to feel like I am in the wrong for taking what she says as exactly what she is saying.
There are numerous other examples of her doing this to me, where she will say " I didn't say that" but an hour into the argument it will come out finally as "I didn't mean to say that, or that isn't what I meant".
Please tell me if ITA. I will completely accept responsibility if need to. Please enlighten me, I will answer any question for clarification. Thank you in advance
&#x200B; | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 15
} | WRONG |
lDH3o3Gk6K3dkGp2Eg8aJDTZXYuhSxkz | a5tlag | {
"description": "not wanting to spend my 'whole' break up in New York with family",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to spend my 'whole' break up in New York with family? | I'm a 25 male. Recently, this year, got my first full-time job and I moved out of my parents' into a house with a few friends.
I have a long break(12 days or so) coming up in about a week. My mom asked me if I wanted to come with her to visit her family in New York but it would be for basically the majority of my break(7 days). I love my extended family but I was really looking forward to relaxing and doing whatever and hanging out with friends, etc.
I also get/have a slight anxiety about feeling 'trapped' or not being able to leave and my family can sometimes be tense....
So AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
TDRqSnDaWwbL1Ot09ezbOq9hIUN6N8Uc | b6qun3 | {
"description": "telling my friend and her family to move out",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for telling my friend and her family to move out? | So I have a situation, and I'm unsure if I'm the asshole here.
Tl;dr: a friend of mine and her family live in my apartment-basement rent and utility-free, and are upset that I'm not paying for their vacation to Disney; expect me to pay for everything; am I the asshole for telling them it's time for them to go even though they have awful credit/no money saved?
A friend of mine lives in my basement free of charge, which sounds bad, except that my basement is a full on apartment (in fact, it's the size of my old apartment before I bought my house). She and her husband have two kids, who also live here, and she helps me take care of my kids (I'm a single mom). They have never paid rent or utilities (in fact I pay for their Netflix), and I frequently buy things for them and their kids (I paid for her daughter to do gymnastics, her son to play soccer, I buy them Christmas presents, etc). They do buy food, and she does watch my son/pick up my daughter from school. Her husband works. They have no bills outside of a car note and insurance, and even though her husband makes about $2,200 after taxes each month, she frequently is worried they won't make the car payment, and her car registration expired in February 2018.
I don't agree with her parenting style, as she frequently becomes too emotionally involved in kids' arguments, and takes kids behavior personally. She frequently claims that she would "spend her last dime on the kids" like it's a badge of honor, and is frequently worried that her kids don't have "the best" or "enough". She once pitched a fit because her husband purchased a Nike duffel bag for her son, which she didn't think was "good enough". She says I just don't understand what it's like not to have any money, and that I'm emotionless.
That being said, just over 3 years ago I left an abusive spouse who left me literally penniless, and for a long time I was afraid he would kill us. I worked hard to get where I am now.
While I really appreciate what she has done for me and my kids -- without her I wouldn't have been able to work some of my crazier work schedules -- I am fully aware that I can do this alone, and I am becoming increasingly frustrated that she expects me to essentially be her cash cow. I'm taking my kids to DisneyWorld next month, and she expects me to take her family as well. She is now upset that I told them I wouldn't be able to afford paying for their share of the vacation, and that I'm still taking my kids. She frequently spends money on fast food, alcohol, and random "gifts", and cried when I told her I didn't want a plant she gave me, I want her to save money for bills.
She is becoming increasingly erratic and emotional, and has been snapping at my kids on a regular basis, to the point that my oldest has had meltdowns three days in a row. I think it's time for them to move on, but since they have awful credit and no money saved, am I the asshole for telling them to get out? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
LFTkk5MHn0jHzEwS86BFavMYH1Pxs2yK | 9tysn2 | null | AITA My friend ditched me to go hang with his gf, now I’m a little pissed at him and started being a d*** to him on sc | So I went over to his house for the afternoon. We had a generally good time. After a while he called his parents to ask if he could hang out with his gf, which I didn’t mind cause I thought she could’ve given me a ride back to my house.
10 minutes before my parents are going on a “date night” he said ‘oh sorry, guess she can’t.’. So I decided to just start walking to my house (it’s about a 30 minute walk, it’s a 5-10 minute drive). He pleads with me to stay saying stuff like “my parents will be back in like 45 minutes so just wait” even though he told them I had a ride.
I call my parents to come pick me up. They do. But on the way back I said, “thought I could trust you again.” And he fight for like 4-5 messages back and forth. And he hasn’t opened my last message.
I would’ve driven myself but I’m not old enough, and I didn’t have a car to do so. And while he called his parents to ask if he could go over to his gf’s he said I had a ride even though I didn’t. He’s also been going over to his gf’s only for sex, even though he tells him parents he’s going over to work on a Spanish project. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
6wLrQ1S1eGjmLKfsE2MQnhXq6J4B4kl5 | agbglu | {
"description": "buying a second vehicle while my live-in girlfriend doesn't have one",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For buying a second vehicle while my live-in girlfriend doesn't have one? | Basically, I'm going to buy a second car (with cash) to play around with and am going to loan my daily driver to my live-in girlfriend while she saves up to buy herself a vehicle. She moved in after having to get rid of her vehicle because of it being a pos and not being able to make it from her place to mine (\~100 miles away). She complains about being bored and being stuck at home all the time. I pay all the bills and I pay the loan on my car, including the insurance to which she is on, the agreement for moving in was she pay for groceries and the fuel in the car.
When I came home to prepare for checking out the car she got irrationally annoyed and snapped at me asking why I don't just buy her a car instead of loaning her my Civic and she'll pay me back? I'm not entirely sure where this came from and now I feel extremely guilty. I didn't even think anything of it until now. I thought I was being nice and now I feel like shit. I hate people owing me money, I do not loan money to anyone because I hate having to deal with people not paying me back, especially not my GF. Am I being selfish? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
d4SzCG7cKbmtrWFZBSatJ91VuxN0cCld | ar6f55 | {
"description": "not skipping a school activity to attend my friends 18th birthday",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not skipping a school activity to attend my friends 18th birthday (debut)? | Okay, so the story goes like this. My friend and I have known each other since we were like 4 and have been close since then. She is going to have her debut in a few weeks but it is going to happen on the same day a school activity my grade and I have been preparing for a month or so now. When i told her this, she got mad at me for not being able to attend even after all she has done for me (she tutored me for college entrance tests for free since she is good at school and skipped a grade so she is one grade ahead even though she is only 6 months older) and said I am a horrible person. So, do I cancel my school activity and go to her 18th birthday or go to the school activity and not attend her 18th birthday? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ZxKq859bPf95uObevv8DxMKqbsG1k1Lo | ahcoan | {
"description": "cutting off my good friend of 3 years, who has admitted his romantic feelings for me, because I've started seeing someone",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for cutting off my good friend of 3 years, who has admitted his romantic feelings for me, because I’ve started seeing someone? | TLDR: I’m letting the behavior of a close friend who has unrequited feelings for me cause negativity in my life and potential future relationship. I want to burn the bridge. AITA?
Backstory: “R” and I have been friends since 2015. We get along great and have similar personalities/moral compasses/interests and just generally vibe well. In 2017, he confessed that he had romantic feelings for me and asked if I’d be willing to take our friendship to that level. For lots of reasons, I said I’d rather just continue on as friends. He’s always been very supportive, trustworthy, fun to be around, and a solid person to have in my corner so I certainly didn’t want to end the friendship because of this.
Since that time there have been several occurrences between him and I that left me feeling uncomfortable/disrespected/disregarded. For example, the time he refused to get out of my car until I told him “the real reason” for not wanting to be with him. He refused to accept that I don’t believe we are romantically compatible and accused me of being shallow and not giving him a chance because I am out of his league. His words but tbh I don’t disagree. I’ve worked hard through my 20s on my emotional health, financial independence, self confidence, and overall just learning to be content with the person that I am. I feel as though he has a lot to become aware of/work on in order to become someone I could be truly happy with and proud to call my partner. Anyway, I felt very trapped in that moment and like he was being selfish and unfair. There have been a handful of other moments similar to that. Some of which happened when he was drunk and borderline aggressive. At times he made me feel unsafe.
Additionally, the few times I’ve brought a potential romantic interest around the friend group, he pouts. He’ll get belligerent drunk or stay outside and chain smoke cigarettes alone. Other friends have noticed this as well, so I know it’s not just me and my tendency to be hyper-aware of (and maybe sometimes even fabricate) the moods of the people I care about. As a result of this, I feel guilty. I don’t want to be the reason for his unhappiness. I also resent the absolute shit out of him.
Around Thanksgiving, I started seeing a new guy. Right now he lives several hours away so when he comes into town I spend a lot of my free time with him. I also pay A LOT of attention to him if he comes out with the group because, well, I’m super into him! R can’t stand it and he’s not being subtle at all. He hasn’t said anything to me but he acts like a child whose just been scolded every time I bring this guy around. I’m sick of it. I realize I could just not care about R and be happy and smitten and enjoy getting to know this new fella more but I’m just so bothered by the whole situation. In March, new guy moves back to my town and I don’t want anything to cause turbulence between him and I as we’re trying to develop a potential relationship.
So, Reddit, WIBTA if I completely ended my friendship with R in order to move forward with my romantic life guilt-free? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
JAQhy3C0donjnx2N0iCLgrfvFC2ftYFd | aft0qt | {
"description": "wanting my my flatmate to have his girlfriend round less",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for wanting my my flatmate to have his girlfriend round less? | Context: I own a 2 bedroom flat and rent out a room to another guy (found him online), he's been living here for a year now. Overall he's a chilled person and I have no real issues with him.
Recently his girlfriend has been over a lot. There was a point last month where she was round 9 days in a row. I said something to him at this point and that he needs to cut it down to 2/3 days a week max (the same amount of time my gf comes round). Unfortunately she lives with her parents and I think is why she spends so much time here.
The conversation went well and he was really cool and understanding. However now I've noticed she's always round on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays - effectively the whole weekend. Technically this is okay as I said I don't mind her being round 3 days, but now I don't think I'm cool with her round the whole weekend.
I don't have my girlfriend round all weekend because I'm someone who needs my own space sometimes to relax. Therefore each weekend now it's sometimes just me and them two in my small flat. I don't want to feel like a third wheel in my own flat. If them two want to watch TV in the living room, I feel awkward being there. Obviously I would be fine with it sometimes but it makes me feel like a stranger in my own place for the whole weekend.
Am I an arsehole to bring this up again and say it's not okay? I don't want the solution to be her chipping in for bills because it's not about the money: I'm just not cool with living with just a couple for the whole weekend every week. If it was a 5 bedroom house I think it would be different, but in a small 2 bed it's a weird dynamic. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
WSLwfDQAQGTR6zDqPvLXc8d4kLBCWPh7 | ap4jgp | {
"description": "making my flatmate pay rent while she is overseas",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for making my flatmate pay rent while she is overseas? | My university friend and I have been living in a very nice apartment for the past 2 years, especially for 2 people who have recently graduated. This is because my grandparents own the apartment. However, I do not currently pay rent.
The average flat costs in my city around $180-250 usually not including expenses or wifi. We have a good location right in the centre of the city and our place is pretty new (less than 10 years old). She currently pays $300 per week including expenses.
In the past, my flatmate has gone back home for the summer break (Dec-Feb) and my grandparents have allowed her to pay $100 per week while she was away, so that she doesn’t have to pay as much but can still keep her room and all of her belongings there. She also went on vacation with her boyfriend last year for 4 weeks, asked if she could do the same deal and my grandparents approved.
This time her and her boyfriend are going to Europe/Asia for 8 weeks, she asked me if she could do this same deal again but my family declined. Their reasoning being that it is too long of a break and that she is no longer a student.
I have talked to my grandparents and they won’t budge on this. My flatmate won’t budge on this either and says that it is unfair that she has to pay $2400 in total while away. I have mentioned that this is normally the case in flatting situations, they either pay rent while away or sublet their room but because of our arrangements in the past I understand where she is coming from.
She texted me tonight saying that she will move out next month because she can’t afford to pay the $2400. I am now on the hunt for a new flatmate.
Am I the asshole?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
3outcTPT7uFV8Zf1ss2WuCRpPn54Yo8u | az36al | {
"description": "not wanting my housemate to come to my birthday celebrations",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting my housemate to come to my birthday celebrations? | One of my housemates may or may not be joining me for my birthday celebrations. I'm having a night out with 5 of my friends from school. I do like the guy and we've become pretty good friends, but I don't want him to join for two reasons:
&#x200B;
* I see the guy every day. My school friends I see only a couple of times a year at most as we live all over the country. It'll be like a mini-school reunion as some of these friends haven't seen each other at all in 5+ years.
&#x200B;
* More importantly, I'll feel obligated to make sure he's having a good time. Two of my other friends who live locally aren't coming, so the only person he'll know is me. Whilst he isn't exactly shy, he's not the chattiest person either. In situations like this, I like to make sure the 'outsider' feels welcome. Because it's my birthday, I want to be selfish. I just want to be responsible for my own enjoyment, and not be anxious about whether he's enjoying himself too.
&#x200B;
AITA?
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
&#x200B; | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
7Yb6WgQ4Lui8mCW7JJnrBIM6vfZE1X3U | b89gpb | {
"description": "limiting the time my children spend around their toxic maternal grandmother",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | Aita for limiting the time my children spend around their toxic maternal grandmother? | My MIL has always belittled my wife. For example, my wife only recently obtained her drivers license with my help.
She had never obtained it before due to everytime shed talk about it, her mother would make comments like "I dont know why you want your license, you'll probably just get in a wreck."
When she wanted to go to college, her mom told her it would be a waste of time because she would end up dropping out.
On top of this, since we had the 1st of our 3 kids, she's ignored our rights and responsibilities as parents and inserted and asserted herself many times when not wanted.
Some of this is with good intention, like when she took our 1st child to get professional portraits done as a gift for us. It was nice, but being her first photos and her being our forst child we would have liked to have participated, not to be in the photos, but have a say in what she wore.
Recently, she decided our 1st and only daughter needed a bra. She didn't consult or discuss this with us in anyway. She simply put a bra on our daughter.
This was the last straw for me. Our children had been spending the night with them every Friday night up until this point.
Our daughter came home with the bra on and said her grandmother had told her she needed to wear it.
I feel the choice for the time for my daughter to wear a bra is up to my daughter and her mother, then i would be 3rd in line.
Her mother taking this into her own hands was not cool with me. The kids didnt see their granparents for 6 months. They now see them a few timea a month but dont spend the night. I dont want my MIL treating my children the way she did my wife, and I dont want her stepping on our toes as parents.
So... Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Aq8D4duujpyhYqgp7ngZOCi6cGwOzP35 | abfr5s | {
"description": "not talking to someone who led me on for almost 8 years, but told me was pregnant",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not talking to someone who led me on for almost 8 years, but told me was pregnant. | This girl I've been friends with for about 14 years has been occasionally leading me on. I told her how I felt about her and she will randomly tell me the same or we will kiss or whatever. We don't really want to date right now, but I feel this weird borderline relationship type deal. After finding out she's pregnant, I got really sick to my stomach and disappointed for not being told. After a while I realize its not really my business. I know this isn't a therapy sub but after being led on for such a long time sharing all these feelings and then having this weight dropped on me makes me want to stop talking to her. Theres more reasons why I would stop talking to her but the whole baby thing messed me up. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
8lqNspILzEUSFlzUrXAowHdrlXHGkBxG | 9xd406 | {
"description": "telling the girl Im not sexually attracted to her",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I told the girl Im not sexually attracted to her (details) | I have this girl currently who treats me amazing, and it is a nice change of pace from my last gf. And so it really makes me want to stick around, but she just isn't "doing it" for me. We've had convos multiple times before but we always wind up back together because we click mostly.
But I am not sexually attracted to her, and I keep trying to look past it but I cannot. I need to move on. But every time I try she asks me what the problem is, why cant we work past/thru it, etc. She really wants to get to the bottom of it. I tried the "we aren't compatible" or "I'm not interested" super vague and that doesn't work and also because we are compatible on a mental way, but not physical.
I dont want to be harsh or a dick, and I believe in honesty vs sparing people's feelings because how can someone grow if they don't know the truth? I believe that to a degree.
(here's where ITA) The truth is she has no butt and it does nothing for me and I need a big booty. Just the way it is. I know what I like.
I feel like I can go less vague route and say "Im not sexually attracted to you" but I know she will ask what exactly. In which I will want to say "I need a big butt" or something. Heck, maybe she will hit the squats hard and get one, which goes back to "growing" but I'm not forcing anyone to do that it's on you.
So Im just asking, if she digs and asks for the truth, do I give it to her? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
QVI0Yttv8Gf9I0rcRu0kcZr6PhvXUUHq | a9up8x | {
"description": "telling my mother I can't handle her when she's off her meds",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my mother I can't handle her when she's off her meds | My mother came to visit for Christmas and we generally have a good relationship, I'm only 19 so we're still pretty close as I haven't been living alone for many years. My mother is bipolar. She takes pills for adhd and depression. When she's on the pills she's one of the best people I know, when she's not I can hardly be in the same room as her. she acts manic and her mood swings rapidly, always flustered and ranting about something or making super awkward and unfunny jokes. I could handle it when it was just us but now I live in a house with a family of three and another dude (Blame the ridiculously high rent in SoCal).
I could tell she was off her meds immediately, she's only been around for two days and I already want to hide from her. She's just so high maintenance, I can even stop talking to her to watch a movie without her getting offended and making jokes about how I don't care about her. She lost her license and for not paying a ticket and hasn't gotten it back, her car broke down the other day (because not having a license has not stopped her from driving) and she told me she almost just bought a new one before AAA fixed it. I pulled her aside and told her that she's acting like a different person, that I love her but like, whats up?
What I gathered from the subsequent fallout is that she can't get her pills filled where she lives (an island where I grew up) because it's a controlled substance. She tried at a grand total of two different pharmacies. She made me feel like I was using her disabilities against her and called me a spiteful bitch, saying I was acting nasty to her. I told her I couldn't spend time with her when she's like this and asked her to give me space, even thought she flew all the way out here to see me. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
uYVTs3iyDUw8bdhBfwpgr8H2ZVL0p0SC | afpkdv | {
"description": "telling my sister she shouldn't have told me a family secret",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my sister she shouldn’t have told me a family secret? | My sister recently went on a “ladies trip” with our stepmother, aunt, and a few close family friends. Apparently she found out some pretty juicy gossip on this trip whic our stepmother explicitly told her not to tell anyone (I know this bc she made a comment to my sister about not telling anyone in front of the whole family).
Of course I was curious but I wouldn’t dream of asking because it seemed like sensitive information. A few minutes after that when my sister and I were alone she immediately tells me that our close family friend is addicted to cocaine. She seemed pretty happy and excited to gossip with me but I got kind of a bad taste in my mouth and said that she probably shouldn’t have told me that.
She immediately got very upset asking me if I was serious and then accusing me of not caring about her and being an inconsiderate asshole because I “ruined it when she was just trying to bond with me”.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
rjz3p8tzS6Y2d6TbFgiPafwXxLr6sBfe | a85x7t | {
"description": "not tipping my hairdresser",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not tipping my hairdresser? | Okay so let me start this off by saying I have never gotten my hair done ever. I know tipping is expected and I already had a $20 in my purse for the tip (and I had extra money just in case). My appointment was set at 3:15 and I got there at 3. My hairdresser greeted me shorty and was super friendly. I told her that I wanted my hair a light brown and she told me I would have to bleach my nearly-black hair to get there. I figured I would and I was totally fine with that! Now I know bleaching is a tricky thing to do right and I know it takes a while to get the color right, but it was... a rather long process. About 5 hours in total for the whole visit. Which is cool, like I said I’ve never had my hair done so I figured maybe this is just how it is. Now the problem was after she bleached and toned it it was still very light at the roots and orange at the bottom. No biggie but she then tried two different dye type toners? Not the shampoo one but ones that looked just like hair dye. When she washed it out the top of my head looked greenish toned and the bottom was more bronze. However I wasn’t worried because I thought she was just going to put hair dye on top of it to get me to that beautiful golden brown hair anyways and I probably wouldn’t even notice the difference! Welp nope. She spun me around and asked how I liked it... keep in mind the color is more blonde than the golden brown hair picture I showed her. I just didn’t even know what to say. Now I have horrible social anxiety- so bad that I will NOT ever inconvenience someone, even if that means asking simple questions. One could say it’s my fault for not being more clear on what I wanted but I showed her what I wanted and put my hair in her hands. I just don’t know if it’s normal/right to bleach someone’s hair to get them to a golden brown and not put any dye in it... it just didn’t really make sense. So now onto the price... this salon had a menu on their website and the prices varied depending on the stylists’ “level” (ex. Level one would be way cheaper than level 6). And because I made sure I read everything on their website I already knew the stylist I got was a level 1. Which was some what okay with me, I figured I was in good hands there. Well before we started anything she gave me a rough estimate on the total price, which she said would be about $160. Now i was going to get my hair trimmed too but because of time I told her to not worry about it respectively but that was before she gave me the rough estimate. So when I got up to the front desk to pay the lady said my total was going to be $190. Okay so just going off of the pricing from their website I really didn’t understand why it was this much. But then she looked at it again and then said it would be $166. Whatever I was on the verge of tears and just wanted to leave because this salon trip was a gift from my boyfriend, it’s not even my money and I did not leave with anything even close to what I showed my hairdresser. I am frustrated with myself too because I don’t know if it was my fault for not speaking up. Before I even realized I didn’t leave her a tip I paid and left. But I remembered when I got into my car. I could have easily ran back in there and gave her the damn $20 but I hated my green/bronze/blonde hair. Am I the asshole? Why would she let me leave like that? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
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