id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
4OFVuWvvtd2QU9sSdDueEnCzzdXm8sQR | a4njtu | {
"description": "letting a thief run off with a Salvation Army bucket",
"pronormative_score": 51,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for letting a thief run off with a Salvation Army bucket | Last night my GF and I were walking to the grocery store from Goodwill next door as we are on the sidewalk I hear yelling and see a tall fit guy in his thirties running in our direction with two women in pursuit (one older Salvation Army bell ringer and another woman who was short and overweight).
I see a frantic look on his face and the SA donation bucket under his arm. As he runs by I grab him by the backpack strap and yank him, throwing him to the ground. The bucket rolled a few feet away. As he jumped up his attention was fixed on me, starting to rush me. I could tell he was willing to fight for the money instead of cutting his losses and running away.
I took a step back to improve my range for a counter if needed (I am a bouncer and have a enough boxing and Jiu-Jitsu training to handle myself; not much but enough). He decided to just go for the bucket and run off instead of attacking me.
I didn’t stop him.
I could have, maybe. But a few thoughts went through my head as soon as he went for the bucket instead of me.
“I won’t have the element of surprise the second time”
“There are no other men around to help if things go bad.”
And
“Best case scenario: I’m the hero for rescuing $50 worth of quarters that don’t really belong to anyone except a massive non-profit.”
“Worst case scenario: I get stabbed in front of my girlfriend for trying to rescue $50 worth of quarters.”
It wasn’t worth it.
Anyways, back to the asshole part. The two women catch up as he runs off. The short overweight one sarcastically mentions something about what a Good Samaritan I was. I say “excuse me?” hoping that I misread her tone. She then scoffs at me again blaming me for letting him get away.
I reply stating that I wasn’t going to risk getting stabbed over a few dollars.
To which she says “this is the reason I’m going into the [police] academy! Because of guys like you not doing anything to help!”
I yell back “Fuck you!” and nothing more. She didn’t like that very much. She said “say it again! I’m on the phone with the cops!” Which is when we decided to leave.
This happened last night and I’m still wondering if I should’ve done more and cared more, and if she was right to call me out. My girlfriend thinks I did the right thing and so did my boss (who is an ex cop) but part of me still feels like Peter Parker letting the robber who then murdered his uncle get away.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 51,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 51,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
FHLAb2zRpTiLO9I9NlSyPuXVsripwMjJ | a4zwqo | {
"description": "telling a girl that I think sex is an important part in a relationship",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For telling a girl that I think sex is an important part in a relationship? | I matched with a girl on bumble about a week ago. We've been talking, but we haven't officially met yet. We talked on bumble then switched to texting. We just talk to get to know each other. No dirty pics or sexting or even phone calls. This morning she texted me that she wanted to tell me something. The following is that conversation, starting from the first thing she texted me this morning:
​
Her: "I realized I didn't explain something to you"
​
Her: "I mean, if you want to hear it"
​
Me: "Sure, what's up?"
​
Her: "I was sexually abused by my ex and that is what caused the depression and anxiety. So if something sexual is what you're looking for then I'm not the one" (She told me before about her mental health)
​
Me: "Oh wow, I'm really sorry to hear that"
​
Her: "Just wanted to let you know where I'm coming from"
​
Me: "Thanks for letting me know"
​
Her: "Sure"
​
Her: "Just wanted to let you know where I'm coming from"
​
Me: "You seem really cool and sweet, but I think sex is a crucial part of the relationship. It definitely isn't the only thing, and I'm not looking for just a hookup. It's just that I do think it's an important part of the relationship. It's absolutely nothing against you. I just don't think we'd be that compatible right now"
​
Her: "You're right I am really sweet ┌∩┐ (middle finger emoji)" | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Gu6k287aakVMTgI353XGf0wkPdS0HGTU | b35p0s | {
"description": "not even bothering to entertain the idea of having kids",
"pronormative_score": 69,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not even bothering to entertain the idea of having kids | Okay so before you judge;
I'm in my mid-20s female and ever since I was 16, I knew I didn't want kids. I think they're very expensive, dirty, a lot of work, and just not worth it. so when I started dating I always make sure that the person I was with didn't didn't want kids, because I don't want to string anybody along and make them upset.
But I'm with my boyfriend more than 5 years now he is older than me,and I've been getting snippy comments about the possibility of us having kids. Each time it comes up I shut that convo down. I once told him if kids is what he want he should leave bc I'm not going to do that. His mom knows and thinks I don't love him. But I do, but we can not afford children we both work full-time and can't even afford our small apartment. It's unreasonable to have kids plus I want dogs not a life-time responsiblity.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 57,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 12,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 69,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Bk0FtlopaOYWVlHgpJX1M8rv5Acz4jaP | aqlxnv | {
"description": "not wanting to attend my Aunts wedding",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For not wanting to attend my Aunts wedding? | Okay. Before I get into the story.
1) I do think I could've handled the situation better.
2) You're going to need some information on my fucked up family tree.
My mother has 5 kids. My father has 1. My mother's ex husband is my mother's sisters now husband. Meaning my Brothers and Sisters father is my Uncle. And my Cousins are my Brother and Sisters, Brothers and Sisters.
(I am aware that they're my Half Brothers and Half Sisters but it's already confusing enough.)
Now. My brothers and sisters are all older than me. The youngest being my sister who is two years older than me at 20.
Anyway. Into the story.
U/G/ME = My Uncle/Groom/Mothers Ex
A/B/MS = Aunt/Bride/Mothers Sister
Me = Me.. Obviously.
Early into the year a few years ago my A/B/MS and my U/G/ME announced their engagement. My mother is completely fine with this. My Siblings are fine with this and My father is fine with it. I'm fine with it. It's not like we get to dictate who they marry. We all get along reasonably well. Apart from U/G/ME and my Father. The two have always had slight 'rivalry' because U/G/ME Dislikes my Father referring to my siblings as 'his kids' even though he raised them. It's not like he doesn't allow U/G/ME To call them 'his kids' either and my siblings call, U/G/ME Father, not mine, which makes perfect sense. Because of multiple arguments and the occasional fight spurred on by careless wording at house parties my Father, who knows fine well that he struggles with drinking, has decided not to attend the wedding. Although he's congratulated A/B/MS on her marrige and personally gave her her gift.
And y'see, this is where I come in. U/G/ME doesn't particularly like me. It's not like he's outright horrible to me. He just has a distaste for Me, and I assume it's because of my Father. Now, when we were invited to the wedding, the invitation stated that, '(Mothers name.) (Sibling) (Sibling) (Sibling) and (Sibling)' we're invited, not me or my Father. My Mother asked if this was simply a mistake, and A/B/MS said yes. However, and this may just be me being paranoid, but I can't help feel like it's a subtle hint that were not wanted.
So, the previous night at Dinner, (And looking back, a family dinner may of not been the best place to announce this.) I'd announced that I didn't want to attend the wedding and I'd much rather stay at home and keep my Father company. This did not go down well, my Father, who supporters idea, was the only one who remained calm. My Mother told me I was going and that I should be so: selfish, expectant, ignorant. I informed her that I was happy for my Aunt and Uncle, I'd congratulate them and send a card when I could, but would just uncomfortable in such a situation.
My siblings aren't speaking to me and I'm torn. I can see why I'd be the asshole but I'd like some outside opinions.
~ Kudos. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
S4KTQHhu4YnRAPcJv4ognlt4vd1vkk4h | awokn5 | {
"description": "buying two bus tickets so I could sit by myself and told others they could not sit with me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA If I bought two bus tickets so I could sit by myself and told others they could not sit with me? | I'm in college; over breaks I normally travel using Megabus. I'm fat (and working on it) but that makes it very uncomfortable for myself (and I'm sure the person I'm sitting next to) on these long rides.
I began buying 2 seats and also reserving 2 seats side-by-side so I wouldn't have to deal with others asking since I then have an assigned seat. General seats aren't assigned and you sit wherever you want unless the driver honors my having two tickets. There are limited reserved seats.
I was scheduled for a trip but they just emailed me saying my trip was cancelled and I'd have to reschedule. I have to make this trip this week so I plan to request a new trip leaving later in the week. My dilemma is that there are no reserved seats available on any trip, only general seating.
**Would I be an asshole if I bought two bus tickets and turned down others when they ask to sit next to me?** Would it be rude if I said something like "Sorry, but I paid for two seats" or say it's taken. Or just try to board first, dump all my crap then get off and wait til everyone else has boarded. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
JDzM1u3gXy9sIoQpkF502daTVel0XLgH | anma4q | {
"description": "moving out and stopping talking to my family",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if i moved out and stopped talking to my family | For context I made a post a few days back on this r/
My mom won't stop treating me like IATA and my bro pretty much took her side.
Her and him won't give me a day of peace and normal. Granted I have a tendency to go apeshit when we have problems.
I am in okay relations with my dad but we don't talk much and he has always talked to me like I am the black sheep when ever we are 1 on 1.
So WIBTA if I just kinda moved as soon as I find a job with 18, if I don't get kicked out sooner, and just kinda stopped talking to them. Like at all.
Or if the scholarship works out and I go to college in a different country and just stopped talking to them then?
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
XnqadsMVTCyX04gaoeIeiIQIqdoyiz3P | akogn8 | {
"description": "wanting to drop a toxic friendship",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for wanting to drop a toxic friendship? | Ok, so I know your about to say "no sweetie, toxic people in your life aren't good for you" but read the story first bc this is more about them than about me.
So I have had this school friend for about two years. We met when she first came to the school and I, being the extrovert who likes to befriend introverts (at the time), went up and said hi. I kind of took her under my wing as I had been at that school for much longer. She was great at first. We became so close that we became a package deal. For the first 6 months of our friendship, we were absolutely inseparable and loved each other (platonically) a lot. At that time she was one of my few friends because most of my friends moved away. All the other friends in my life have been popular people who I just kinda hung out with or friends who I didn't have a chance to grow with bc they moved so having someone who actively wanted to hangout with me probably made me blind to some red flags. It wasn't until last year that I finally started seeing it.
She has a lot of good tropes but also a few too many bad tropes as well. (I really want to paint her personality here so I don't make her seem like a monster)
Some of her more prominent bad tropes are: she is extremely clingy and has gotten in the way of me making some friends, she is extremely sensitive and cries over extremely benign things, she is extremely judgemental over people, is quick to make judgments and is very narrow minded about things, brings up past memories that are distasteful to put you down, won't stop bringing up different things eg: omg you so owe me bc I introduced you to ______, makes it a point that you should do things for her bc she got you into something or did something for you out of the "kindness of her heart," does something for you and says it's her treat but then suddenly expects you to pay her back even though she told you earlier that you didn't, only talks about a few topics over and over again, over does jokes ALL the time eg: wouldn't stop singing the I'm already tracer thing which ruined it for me, makes jokes at the wrong time eg: anytime you say hard, wet, long, thick, deep, big etc, laughs AT you when you make a mistake, no matter how small eg: voice hitches when I sing and suddenly it's the funniest thing in the world (i have told her nicely to stop but she still does it), is the victimising queen eg: I was telling her to stop attacking a person in a group chat of ours and suddenly it became about how shitty her childhood was???, makes excuses thinking it will fix the situation or starts crying to get people to favour her, tells other people your personal details without your consent eg: I was at comic-con and a guy was getting a picture with me and asked her to take the picture and she legit told him that I was gay??? Like who tf does that... (I told her off for that), acts extremely childish and whines A LOT eg: I was at her house the other day and her dad was showing me his work shop and she suddenly got all pissy bc I wasn't showing her attention for like half a minute, doesn't have any aspirations in life and expects to ride off her parents, is rude to her parents, is rude in general, can sometimes act like she owns you, you do what ever she wants to do even if it doesn't make you feel comfortable but as soon as you want her to do one thing that isn't even that hard/scary she backs out bc she isn't up to experiencing anything new (grew up sheltered and spoiled), refuses to do most of her school work, 98% of the things she talks ab is just her "tea" against people, every time we meet someone she has to point out all of their bad attributes eg: said guy mentioned earlier with the personal info, she immediately labels him as a pervert bc he liked my cosplay and wanted a photo with me, a lot of her opinions are fake bc the moment I say I disagree with them so we can get a conversation going she immediately sides with me and sure for the most part that would be good but I really enjoy having some friendly banter.
Some of her good tropes: is extremely passionate ab the things she loves, has gotten me into a few different things that have changed my life just a little bit, has a similar sense of humour (most of the time) to me, has been with me through my tough times, is always available to hangout, will just sit with you and chill, shares answers to stuff and helps me with my work, is encouraging when I share my stuff with her, always has my back, has helped me vent, knows exactly what I need, similar likes to a lot of things, same music taste that we can talk ab, let's me fangirl to her even though she has no idea what I'm talking ab.
Now both of these lists are incomplete and if I thought about it for longer both would expand. The thing is, she isn't a monster. She is very manageable but the problem is, is that if I spend too much time with her at once she starts acting less nice, more judgmental and flat out clingy. Now you're probably thinking that maybe I'm rubbing off on her and I'm probably being horrible and for some part of that, you're right. I was an asshole back when we first me and I was judgemental but I had an experience that led me to stop doing that as much as I could about a year or more ago. But now she does it without any prompt from me or anyone for that matter. Other people have told me (as I'm the only one who is really close friends with her) that she insults a lot of people at school just bc they aren't friends with her and I've observed it too.
I love making friends myself, and having many people to talk to and hangout with but I have been flat out told by people that the reason they don't hangout with me at school or don't like hanging out with me in general is because they don't like her vibe. I didn't know what that meant at first but then I finally got explained that they didn't enjoying having someone who is listening to our conversations but not joining in at all and doesn't even sit with us (sits at the table next to us and eavesdrops) that she gives off a vibe of not liking them, and since she's always around me, they can't stand being around me bc of her.
This definitely made me mad at first bc of the whole "how dare you insult my best friend" sorta thing but I definitely started seeing it more myself and realising what they were saying.
Now I need to tell you that she IS NOT a horrible person and I still love hanging out with her and being friends with her but it feels like I'm her parent and she's my bratty child more and more with every passing day. Sure, she is the only person that I can talk to about a lot of things and she saves me from being alone during lunches but I feel like she's bringing more problems in my life than she is bringing in good things.
(I just wanted to add that yes, she does literally bribe me to be her friend. Every time I feel like our friendship isn't working, she randomly buys me food and tells me that I'm her only friend, guilt tripping me and also making me seem like a bad person if I drop her bc if I do it would seem like I'm just using her for her money. I have tried to get her to stop spending money on me btw)
The biggest conflict I have with this whole situation is that, it's true that I'm the only person that's genuinely close with her in general. Of course she has other friends but she has made it a big point to me that her only best friend.
I don't want to hurt her but when (because it will happen, unless she cleans up her act, which is UNLIKELY) I drop her I will.
she's a genuinely good person under all of the bad but for me there is too much bad to deal.
I hate hurting people but at the same time I need to take care of myself and not just the people around me.
TL;DR The whole situation to me is like an addiction. For a short amount of time it's good/enjoyable but the substance is doing more damage than good and will continue to worsen if I keep doing it but I'm scared of the withdrawal symptoms if I stop doing it. even though the moments where I do it are great, once I come out of it the whole situation is just harmful and slowly ruining me. But I am the one who got me in the situation so I am responsible.
So, people of reddit, I have presented my case and now it's time for you to judge: AITA for wanting to drop my toxic friend?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
1SRFMAaa53oGWsN55HlOtjvxnqtVREBS | akcoyi | {
"description": "asking my mother to stay out of my life",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking my mother to stay out of my life? | For context, my mom has been a single parent for around ten years of my life. My dad passed away when I was very young, and she took care of me with minimal to no support from relatives until she married my stepdad.
I'm 20, female. I live in a country where it is acceptable to live with your parents until you finish college and get a job. Actually, it's acceptable to live with them even after that. Usually until you get married.
Alright, so a few months back I got in trouble when my parents got to know I was sexually active with my boyfriend. Again, we live in a country where this is frowned upon.
Since then, she has kept too close of a watch on me. She reads my texts when I'm asleep, she screenshots pictures that I have and she uses both of these against me, because I don't conform to what she thinks is a good daughter. (Which would include not going out too much with friends, like twice a month, getting back home before six in the evening, not wearing clothes that show even the slightest amount of skin, or tops that don't cover my butt.)
I'll be honest and say I'm not that kind of a person. I love wearing clothes that make me feel sexy. I like going out with friends, and I feel like I'm old enough to decide whether or not I want to have sex with a person. But all that is considered taboo by my parents, and the society that I live in. I've been slut-shamed for the past few months, and they've asked me to move out if I can't live by their rules. Any time I mention going out with friends, they refuse to let me out. Unless I spend a few hours arguing with them about it. This used to happen before the "discovery" too. As I mentioned, a good daughter wouldn't go out too much or come home later than 6. All that.
Every time I bring up a conversation about boundaries with my mom, she brings up the past and uses her struggle to bring me up to guilt me. She also refuses to acknowledge that she's being controlling. Her argument is that I should go by her rules as she's struggled a lot for me and this is something I would do if I loved her.
I feel guilty that I'm hurting her. She HAS suffered a lot for me, and I'm thankful for that, but I'd like to have a life of my own, where I make the decisions. I feel like I'm old enough for this.
AITA for asking her to stay out of my life?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
p72KNghHLVFJG6yRMh3qojAd4EdyvS4G | al35wl | {
"description": "asking my mom to stop talking about work",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking my mom to stop talking about work | I've been working a new job for the past five months, and while I don't have much to do right now, I still have to sit at a desk for 9 hours every day and be attentive. My mom has been in her job for a year and recently she has been talking about this woman who causes a lot of drama in the office, a woman that everyone in the office wants fired.
I'm still living at home until I can save more money to move out (I'm 23, just graduated). Most days I'm fine coming home and talking about our days at work, but then I like to move on to something else non-work related because I like to have a life outside of work. She tends to bring her work home with her, and will talk to anyone who will listen to her problems. The past few days have been really bad. She mostly talks to me about work, maybe some of her friends will come over and she'll talk to them about it, and when they leave she comes back to me and talks about it again, most of which I have already heard or we discussed from the past week. I feel like she is talking at me and not to me.
Last night I finally decided to tell her that I don't mind talking about her problems at work, because I do care about them, I just can't do it all night every night of the week. She literally started crying and said I don't care about her problems and that she just needs to vent sometimes. How I am spoiled and live off of her money (her idea for me to stay at home and save), and that I don't have a real job. I told her that I want to hear about her problems it's just that I get drained hearing about it for hours every night. I feel bad because I do still live with her, so I feel like I owe her. But at the same time it is very exhausting and overwhelming to be at my own job all day, just to come home and hear more complaining about work. She tells me that I'm just an assistant, and she is a manager, and one day when I have a real job I will understand. So AMITA? Should I let my nights be consumed by the drama because I need to support my mom, or am I somewhat justified? Or a mix of both? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
0jsBRdFezL9EiQQA45usljfqEVz07L14 | b6wx1m | {
"description": "being angry at my ex",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being angry at my ex? | I'll try to write this out in a way that makes sense, ah. Sorry for the length but I feel I need to give as much backstory as I can to this.
I'll preface this by saying I have diagnosed mental issues (won't specify past they're behavioural for privacy) and they affect my behaviour at times. My ex also has diagnosed mental issues, but not the same as mine.
We were together for about a year or so, where a lot of things happened to us both, making us both quite unstable. We were both severely dependent on each other and sacrificed a lot of time just to be with each other in fear the other would kill themselves or worse would happen if we weren't with each other. They broke up with me a few months ago, saying they couldn't handle my instability on top of their own and their own life ect, which I can't blame them for at all. I'd have a lot of breakdowns in which they'd be afraid for my safety, to the point they'd not go outside or focus on school as much as they should do. I want to stress I NEVER asked them to do this, it was never me telling them to drop everything and comfort me. They did so without telling me how badly it was affecting them and I was somehow unaware they were sacrificing so much. I did the same as well, admittedly, us doing this fucked us both up even more, and I think it was a massive contributor. Neither of us wanted to admit anything was wrong or break up at the time. Them keeping things from me, even incredibly important thing was a long trend as well. I knew them well enough to tell they were hiding things, but they'd insist nothing was wrong.
To the proper point of this, after the breakup and enough time for me to be calm about it and be able to speak to them and be alright, they told me they still wanted to be friends, which I was fine with, saying how they wanted to travel with me in the future, planning all sorts of things, ect. When they're not making all these sorts of promises they're completely ignoring me even when I'm asking them about very important things, which I don't take very well to from anyone. This pisses me off, because I feel like I'm being thrown around and played with.
I've asked my close friends about it, but I neglected to mention how I also felt messed up from the relationship. I feel like I've been an asshole and that its all my fault, but my friends for some reason tell me I'm not. Either its obvious I got messed up too from how toxic it ended up being or god knows what.
Sorry for this mess of a post, rip | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
BRJ8QxIVXfHgpuaQ9NbTVa2A1dvMbpWd | a0qeap | {
"description": "exposing a student in one of my classes",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA for exposing a student in one of my classes? | So I am a junior in high school and the course that I am attending is quite a challenging one. Due to this reason, a couple of my friends and I created a facebook group where we can ask questions to each other and such. The group expanded with the majority of the students taking the course being in the group. Now the problem is this: A sophomore student joined the group. Keep in mind it was a group for just some questions and general help. This student, for some reason, thought it was a tutor group or some shit. An average member in the group would ask a question or two per month or none at all. This student legit spammed the shit of our group with personal basic questions that were quite stupid and useless. They were questions about basic concepts that teachers went over in class and it was absurd. And it got annoying. The student would post around 10-12 questions per day and the majority of the members started to stop answering her questions. Now this would be a hint, right? Nope. She reported this to the teacher and the teacher gave us a talk about including everyone and not excluding people. So most of us in the group are pretty fucking annoyed with multiple people just leaving the group. Out of frustration, on one of her posts, I sent a clear message. "\[Student's name\], please try to avoid asking multiple questions that could be answered by a simple google search. This is not a replacement for a tutor, but merely a small community for us to help EACH OTHER. Thanks". All hail went loose. I got reported to the office, got a talk about verbal abuse and yada yada yada. Some people thanked me. Some people glared at me. Now, I personally thought it was one of those cases where "someone had to do it". Am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 13
} | RIGHT |
wrB02CictBMWnspkUohy9vLmZrnBk2V8 | a6bwcr | null | AITA in my boyfriend's divorce? | (Mobile, sorry for formatting)
I'm not too sure where to start with this. So I guess I'll start when I met him.
My boyfriend was with his wife for 13 years, married for 6. Their relationship was never healthy. It started bad, and they got married for bad reasons. The marriage was dying for a long time. Like, he was planning to leave her for well over a year (at least), but wanted to make sure his kids would be supported when he left.
Anyways, he finally gave her the divorce papers and left. He stayed with my sister and brother in law, as he and BIL grew up together and are good friends. Then my sister and BIL introduced us. We were both looking for someone to hook up with, nothing else. However over time, we developed feelings for each other and after talking about it we decided to try a relationship.
I would like to make it clear that he wouldn't be going back to her even if I wasn't here. He's pretty well and done, he wouldn't even be talking to her if it wasn't for his kids.
However, she knows he's seeing somebody else and keeps starting fights about it. She threw a fit and moved in with her mother, and then she told the oldest (8 years old) that "we have to move because daddy brought another girl into the house." Who knows what else she's saying when he's not their to listen. She's friends with BIL's ex-wife, last time I saw my nieces the first thing they said was "mommy told us our cousins had to move because you and uncle BF like each other and you went over to his house."
Meanwhile, I'm helping him clean his house. Her stuff is still there, her pictures. I just had to cancel my plans to spend the night with him, pack up and leave because *surprise* she's getting dropped off at the house with the kids for the weekend. I feel awful. I know I'm not keeping him from going back to her. But his kids are hurting, and she's angry that I exist. I'm questioning why I'm even there.
Am I the asshole for being with him? Even if he's happier now? Even if he has plans to get the kids? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 5,
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"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
VCVgV4nkUUf2GN2oivlz8TK59liHApeX | avdcke | {
"description": "being always the girl who comes between two best friends",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA: if I’m always the girl who comes between two best friends? | I’ll start by saying I don’t feel like I come between friends in a malicious way or with bad intentions, but I’m always drawn to those situations.
I’ve never had a solid group of friends, I’ve always kind of drifted between groups. I don’t like drama and I find it gets real old and boring fast. So I’ve always felt better just ignoring it and moving on with my life. No need to get involved and dig myself a grave if I don’t need to.
Recently I’ve realized I’m always in third wheel situations. Whether it’s with two girl best friends, or girl and guy who are “friends”, I’m always the extra one.
When it comes to the matter of two girl best friends, I’m always somehow never able to become friends with “the other girl”. I also end up feeling left out most of the time because my friend always seems to be more close with their other friend than me.
This type of situation happens often with different people. Part of me feels like I’m always that friend who other people talk about all their other friends to, and it’s like everyone has this line they won’t cross with me. Like I’m only allowed so far into friend groups and friendships because people know if I get too far they won’t be able to talk to me the same way about people.. it’s a really weird feeling because sometimes I feel like I’m always the toxic one and that’s why no one wants to really be my friend.
I don’t feel toxic as in, i talk about others behind their back. But I’m toxic like I’ll tell someone the truth if I need to. If someone feels comfortable enough with me to ask if their friend talks about them, I’ll tell the truth.
It seems like in the end the two friends end up against me as if lied to tried to cause an unnecessary situation, but to me it seems both are just lying to each other because neither trust me.
I’m tired of unhealthy friendships and situations.
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
I3ftIxeIpAKOHnMQ87NslmNI3zeaQwDa | aon10l | {
"description": "not looking after my colleague (also boss's GF) bags while she was away",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not looking after my colleague (also boss's GF) bags while she was away | So my company is working on an outdoor event, we had the whole venue to ourselves for two days leading up to the event, and the whole team was having dinner at the venue. And slowly everyone left the table and it was only me, my boss's GF and a friend of hers. She walked away with her friend, and expected me to take care of her bags.
I was never asked to care for the bags nor did she ask me if I'd be willing to just be there until she comes back. I didn't realise her bags were there and I walked away. We run into each other after five minutes and she asks me where her bags were and I realised it then that there were bags and she expected me to look after it. I told her I can't be responsible for her things and so she walks away to find my boss.
He comes back in a rage, yells at me in front of the whole team and says I can't say 'everyone is responsible for their own things, as a decent human being I should have been bag-sitting'
And I told him yes, saying everyone should be responsible for their own things is shitty, but it's the truth. To which he started saying I haven't been doing any work, started assigning random work (for the event) to me that's no where close to what my skillset is. And tells me not to come in to work after this event is done.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
74ogkyLI0hp6rBJ17WxsNEb5VJSxEP75 | aaxhio | {
"description": "not switching airplane seats",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for not switching airplane seats? | So I’m boarding a plane for a five hour flight, and my assigned seat is in the first row of my cabin section. No one is in front of me and there’s a little extra leg room.
Flight attendant makes an announcement that a tall passenger in the middle of the cabin is uncomfortable in his seat because his knees are squished. Flight attendant asks if anyone in the first row is willing to move. I’m a little on the shorter side, so I can feel the flight attendant eyes on me. I don’t want to move because it’s the first time I’ve ever sat in the first row so I pretend I’m sleeping. Flight attendant “wakes” me up when no one volunteers and asks if I would switch and I shake my head. Finally a old lady next to me volunteers and switches seats.
Am I an asshole for pretending to be asleep and not switching seats? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
3OAAhIFgnCyeAEWNAsBelF2STgysaLCd | a3tcdn | {
"description": "charging my friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for charging my friend? | So first, I want to start with the back story, I am in high school and my friend has a lot of trouble in math, he wants me to help him, so I do, in school. Then he wants me to teach him for 6 dollars an hour at my house, I said no, how about 13. Then he proceeded to tell me how friends should be caring, how I'm a money whore etc. But the thing is, I literally have no time, I have a few contests and work that are due, piano as well and I don't have time to teach him. I told him that I have no time and if I were to teach you I would have to make sacrifices on my other work to teach him. I didn't want to spend 2 hours teaching him for only 12 dollars and not getting my work done. I told him it's your choice whether to take the deal or not but he's just telling me I'm a dick for charging him. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
xyr8AK1D72AK5hqq72EaanVVV8RmFDiO | au9iii | {
"description": "not wanting a wedding ring",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting a wedding ring? | So my now ex-boyfriend is a big believer in love and symbols, specifically wedding rings I guess. We were in a pretty committed (yikes) relationship at the time, and the subject of us getting married someday came up. I wasnt opposed to the idea of getting married, but I was pretty set on not having a wedding ring or at least not wearing one.
When I told him I didn't want one or I wouldn't wear it he got pretty upset and I just could not understand why. He said the wedding ring is a symbol of our love. Plus if I never wore it how would people know I'm married, especially if I went out and someone tried to hit on me thinking I'm single. He also mentioned he worried I'd cheat or something because there would be no proof on my hand that I'm married.
I had a few reasons of my own. 1. I have never enjoyed wearing jewelry in my life, especially rings. It honestly makes me uncomfortable to have something around my fingers like that. 2. I dont need a ring to prove I love someone. 3. If someone tried to hit on me why can't I just TELL them I'm taken? Either way it's not like everyone looks for or respects a wedding ring anyway. 4. I'm not going to cheat.
My biggest fear though was number one. I don't know why, but I just can't stand to have rings on, every time I'd try I'd get anxious and be unable to focus. He said it's something I can get over if I tried, but I dont want to get over it honestly. I would rather just not wear jewelry, I don't like how it looks anyway so it's not holding me back from anything. Plus I was honestly a little offended he didn't trust that I could go out on my own without proof that I'm not single. I also felt like he was being a bit possessive, I don't think like I should need this physical symbol of him on me at all times.
He would say it's okay and I dont have to wear it but then he'd say he'd be very upset if I didn't. Made me feel pretty guilty and I just don't know. So am I the asshole for not wanting a wedding ring? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
ZTEMy8HZQLVuGr2HIsZJse63lUP9TqNk | ascbbe | {
"description": "\"playing\" with my (ex)girlfriend's feelings",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for “playing” with my (ex)girlfriend’s feelings? | Me (20) and my now ex girlfriend (21) have been together for about 6 months. We both go to the same college and are in the same friend group. This is also both of ours’ first not abusive/manipulative relationship. The sex was alright on my side, but very good for her. Most times she would finish 3 or 4 times and I would MAYBE finish. There was a month span where I didn’t come at all during sex.
Things go great for the first couple months. But then we start arguing a lot. I tell myself that it’s normal, couples argue all the time. But then the arguing didn’t stop. She would pick fights over small things that didn’t matter.
The last month or so was absolutely terrible. I have no doubt about it now, I was emotionally abused. My roommate told me every night I came back, my mood would be terrible. Maybe 1 night a week I’d be okay. There were even more arguments and one time I asked her if she was actually mad, or if she was taking out her stress. She told me she was taking it out this way. I told her I couldn’t do it anymore if this continues. That my mental state would collapse. So I expected at least some change.
Nothing changed. If anything, if got worse. She stopped listening to me about really important things. She had a medical problem that could be very serious if not treated, and when I advised her to go, several times, she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to call and schedule.
One night all our friends confronted me and said that something has to change because I’m unhappy all the time. It opened my eyes and showed me that I wasn’t crazy when I thought all this about my girlfriend. So a couple days later I broke up with her. And we stopped contact for a couple days.
About 4 days after the breakup, we see each other in class. She asks if I want help writing my essay, and we end up going back to her room. We talk about the break up. She’s still in love with me. But I didn’t know how I felt. I watched the person I love whittle me down to nothing consciously; I couldn’t do anything about it either. We both consider FWB and agree on it. I told her, maybe there’s some way I can look past this, and we can work out again.
We have sex that night. After a while, I tell her I couldn’t do anything romantically with her. Ever. All I could see is the person yelling at me. The person getting angry over nothing. The person lying to our friends about our arguments, twisting it on me. She tells me that I played with her. By telling her that maybe we could work out, but retracting that later.
AITA for sleeping with her and telling her I can’t look past the situation?
tl;dr: My emotionally abusive ex and I talked and I told her we could maybe work things out. After sex I retract my statement, because I couldn’t look past it. She says I played her. AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
ojzyWYFrQiveHtmAYJlhGHU6DHGoULVW | afpy8o | {
"description": "getting angry and throwing very personal insults when my ex was antagonizing me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for getting angry and throwing very personal insults when my ex was antagonizing me? | Context: my ex of a couple months is now a friend. I'm not very emotionally stable and unbeknownst to him, I'd had a rough day. This whole interaction happened over text while I was stoned.
I went to just have a conversation with him and he just started repeatedly saying "yes" to everything I said to try and annoy me. I let it happen a couple times but then it got to the point where it wasn't funny anymore so I told him to stop, he continued, I warned him that it was starting to get me mad, he continued, I began to freak out a bit and warned him that I might say something uncalled for, he still persisted, I started to get really upset and started crying and I told him this, he didn't see a problem with what he was doing and still continued and I just flipped and told him shit about how I never actually had feelings for him, that I hated him and a lot of other personal stuff. When I said this he was obviously upset about it and after further arguing he stopped replying.
Now in hindsight I feel stupid, I know I should've just stopped replying and ignored it, I have a really short fuse when someone does this because I hold a lot of resentment towards family members over it. I don't know if I'm being too hard on myself about it or too easy. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
mhnA6mnivu1W2SC4Zs03sP0D24WChhbK | b8ztcn | {
"description": "asking my wife to tell me when I can expect her to come home from work",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for asking my wife to tell me when I can expect her to come home from work? | Let me start this by saying I love my wife whatsoever and other than this, we have no issues whatsoever.
My wife frequently gets home later than I do, simply because I start work before she does. However over the past year there have been many times where she won't come home until well past dinner time, and usually won't let me know that she'll be late until well after I would expect her to come home.
I started asking her several months ago to tell me in the morning what time I could expect her home, and that if she would be late then all she has to do is let me know at some point during the day that she would be late. This hasn't worked out very well, though. She is pretty bad at estimating when she will be able to leave work - often times she will text me saying that she will be able to leave in 15 minutes, but then not leave for another hour. Sometimes it's because she is working on a project that has to be completed that day, but oftentimes it's because a co-worker or student comes to her office to talk to her (about work related things).
She has responded to this by instead not giving me an estimate for when she'll be home, since she's so bad at doing so (even she admits this). But I would much prefer that she just ... give me an estimate, and stick to it. She has told me that it seems controlling of me to do this, but honestly I just want to be able to plan my day and not knowing when she will be home makes it very difficult to do so - and my argument is that she is not respecting my time. On top of this, we will often be late for engagements because of this behavior.
So reddit, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 18,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 29,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
0QfjOg1JI7MIDZ26JqsznolgVpnJF4EE | asxd52 | {
"description": "reporting my brother to child protective services",
"pronormative_score": 229,
"contranormative_score": 72
} | AITA for reporting my brother to child protective services? | My younger brother made some wiener-wrapping mistakes with a relatively unstable girl and had a kid when he was 17. For a while, it was going fairly well and he was stepping up to the plate, until he had a particularly nasty breakup with the baby momma.
As a result, the two of them constantly try to pawn off their daughter to each other, and use her as ammunition. For example, the mother likes to stalk my brother on his days off and just drop the kid off to “get back at him” when he has dates planned. It’s gotten so bad that she has had the cops remove her from my parents property because she was standing in the front yard yelling angrily for my brother.
As a result, both of them are super bitter and have started neglecting their daughter. It’s nothing super over the top, but there’s lots of swearing in front of her, leaving her unattended, leaving her in a playpen while he plays video games for several hours, not watching her enough that she’s injured herself several times (she’s currently around 16 months). Currently my parents have taken over most of the parenting duties, while my brother really does nothing in the house to help, and the baby momma takes the kid seemingly to take Instagram pictures and to mess with by brother.
So, one day after talking to my dad about it, I decided to just report all the incidences I’ve seen to CPS. They’ve recently stepped in, and my brother is losing it on everyone in the family. He thinks my dad did it, and it’s causing problems.
So am I the asshole for reporting? And/or am I one for staying quiet and not telling anyone I was the one who did it?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 52,
"OTHER": 228,
"EVERYBODY": 20,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 11
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 229,
"WRONG": 72
} | RIGHT |
MhCB0TcH2SbH24SlYAARIs1FC2Ce0lO6 | b3p9ac | {
"description": "not responding",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not responding? | I met a girl at a meeting for a club at my uni that neither of us ended up joining, but I got her number and we ended up hanging out a few times and eventually hooking up at her place. There was clear verbal consent on both ends beforehand so that was fine. I tend to get performance anxiety when having sex with a new person for the first time, and I didn’t maintain a full erection while we were having sex. I told her beforehand that sometimes I get nervous the first time with someone so even if it seems like I don’t want to, I do. We eventually stopped and neither of us finished, and I went home because she seemed a bit distant and said she was tired. I texted her a day or two later apologizing and saying if she didn’t want to hook up anymore that’s fine and I don’t mind staying friends. She agreed and I explained better my issue with performance anxiety and how even if I’m really into someone it might not be apparent, and that I wanted her to know it wasn’t anything to do with her. The conversation was going fine but right in the middle of it she stopped replying and then ghosted for 2 months. There wasn’t anything I think I said at that time that could have prompted that, and I was bummed for a few days but got over it.
Fast forward to yesterday, she texts me out of the blue saying hey and apologizing for not replying, but otherwise acting like nothing nothing happened. We talked for a bit and I asked her why she texted me, to which she replied that she just forgot and realized when looking at old messages. I didn’t really buy that because she ghosted in the middle of a pretty important conversation, but I still suggested we could try hanging out as friends again or I wished her the best and she agreed to hang out. We discussed when we were free and suddenly she tells me “you are the one who said you needed to hang out, not me” it seemed like a really odd thing to say, but it was kind of a miscommunication because she interpreted my earlier text as “let’s hang out or good luck with your life” even though I worded it nicely and didn’t mean it that way, so I told her that and apologized that it came off that way. She said she just wanted to be on speaking terms again and didn’t necessarily need to hang out, and I replied that we were never off speaking terms and she was the one who ghosted. She said she realized that but she was also the one reaching out again. I didn’t reply.
AITA?
I feel like maybe I put her in an uncomfortable position because she didn’t think I wanted to have sex and I probably didn’t explain it well beforehand
On the other hand, I think she handled it immaturely by ghosting me halfway through the conversation after
Sorry for all this rambling but I felt like it was all pretty important context.
TL;DR hooked up with a girl, didn’t go super well, she ghosted mid conversation afterward and then reached out a few months later, and after talking for a short bit I didn’t reply | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
itixEZBPQEhmSzF6R5ioZcY6K8OVyD2z | apx0hg | {
"description": "not wanting my fiancé to get new fake eyelashes monthly",
"pronormative_score": 40,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for not wanting my (M26) fiancé (F26) to get New Fake Eyelashes Monthly | Currently my fiancé is in graduate school and does not work. We are living with my parents since I do not make enough to support both of us living on our own. One of the main reasons for us to be living with my parents is that I can continue to save money so we can move out in about 6 months once I have enough saved and she has a job. Right now I pay for everything, pilates, food, dates, birthdays, etc. and give my fiancé about $400 per month in walking around money. Her parents also give her some money as well, but I do not know how much.
​
She currently spends $180 once every 2.5-3 weeks to get fake eyelashes. Normally, this wouldn't bother me, but this is a time when are we trying to save money and this charge seems so unnecessary. I don't mind her getting them before pictures or the wedding events, but it seems kind of pointless when she spends most of her time at her internship or home. Also, to note, I don't spend money on anything, but stuff I actually need at the moment just a gym membership that is about $75 cheaper than her pilates class.
​
I asked her if she could cut back on getting them and she basically got angry with me and told me she could spend the $500 I gave her every month on whatever she wants. I said okay, I totally understand the need for pampering yourself, but she made me feel like an asshole for bringing it up - so am I?
​
Also, side note is that she told me that I have to pay for my wedding ring (only $200) it bothers me little bit that she couldn't just skip the eyelashes once and buy my ring for me as a gesture. Overthinking or AITA?
​
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 36,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 40,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
7c80LIfGP5Io4OcxLoqnwMIhuUYfydLp | b6yx63 | {
"description": "choosing sides in a breakup at my game night",
"pronormative_score": 31,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for choosing sides in a breakup at my game night? | I don't think I've done this, but the offended party thinks that's the case. All names changed.
I hosted a game night with my husband, inviting four of our friends. It was semi regular, every other week or once a month at the same time due to some of the participants work schedules being tough to work around except for this one night every other week. Larry is my husband's best friend from childhood and earned the first invite. He brought along his girlfriend, Jessie, who has since become a good friend of mine, and also invited his co-worker, Rob. Our friend Ella also attended.
We had lots of fun! It kept up for a good year and a half of camaraderie. It's become one of the few things I enjoy during my week (I'm a newish mother of a 1 year old and struggle making new friends). I genuinely credit this game night with friends with part of my healing with my mental illness.
Then, Larry and Jessie broke up. It was nasty, with lots of hurt emotions, shouting, and the like. It had lasted almost three years by the time it was done. (For the record, they're better off broken up; things had gotten so toxic for both of them.)
Larry took things especially hard. He was clearly worried he was going to end up socially isolated, and myself, my husband, and Rob did our best to assure him he was our friend no matter what.
But then game night came around. I wanted to be fair, so I invited Rob and Ella and sent a separate message to Larry and Jessie, explaining they were both invited but if they wanted to come they had to commit to being civil with the other party. If they weren't comfortable doing that, we would hang out some other time.
Jessie said "Yeah, I'm okay with seeing him, I can be polite." Larry said, "I don't want to see her," and I replied, "okay, I'll make sure we grab lunch sometime this week to make up for it."
Larry believed he should have been given some kind of preference because he's been my husband and my friend longer than Jessie. He complained about feeling abandoned. And even when Rob decided he would go over to hangout with Larry one on one after game night, Larry bitterly remarked that it was a 'pity visit'.
Jessie is disabled on multiple fronts and has very limited opportunities for socialization, plus I had genuinely become close friends with her - she's my daughters godmother. I couldn't just invited Larry and not her; it wasn't fair.
But part of me wonders if I wasn't fair to Larry by basically hanging out with his ex while he sat at home alone, even if he was the one who decided he didn't want to see Jessie.
It's been about four months since this went down, and not knowing if I did the right thing has eaten me up inside. I've stopped hosting game nights entirely because I feel so conflicted. Help me out so I can finally move past this and maybe get back to having fun with my friends... | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 24,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 7
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 31,
"WRONG": 8
} | RIGHT |
ssXmWHyMZgmAZm4TaYHl3tBMYKxxfKgp | a9l7xu | {
"description": "getting drunk and flirting with a girl who has been friends with me for 6 years",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA if I got drunk and flirted with a girl who has been friends with me for 6 years? | I moved to a new town when I was younger and I made a few friends. One of my friends has a sister and we became friends too. We werent ever really really close friends just acquaintances but we have known eachother for 6 years. I was hanging out with her and one of her friends when we got invited to a small party of just some close friends. We went to the party and I drank waaay too much. I started flirting with her for a bit and she had to leave early. Someone had taken videos of me saying stupid shit after she left about how I wanted to have sex with her and other embarrassing stuff. A few days later I overheard her talking to friends saying I creeped her out when I flirted with her because she didnt want anything more than a friedship with me. I understand she doesnt like me like that but I just want to know of I'm an asshole in this situation. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
yHuUShs0D2prF1PxnOxJwOkONqy1XFqw | b6s44p | {
"description": "saying I would help my bf with his college appeal but forgetting to",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for saying I would help my bf with his college appeal but forgetting to? | My boyfriend and I are both seniors and have been together for almost 2 years. We both got rejected from a state school because we barely made the top 6% requirement for auto admission and beyond that its really hard to get into. They let you appeal but there is a slim chance it'll get turned around.
​
I appealed in time because it was quick to write and my boyfriend wanted to submit one too. He's not that great of a writer or I was unsure if he could write it well/professionally I said I would help him. Side note: we had two months to appeal before the deadline. However, I'm a super busy person or forget things often. In those months, I was also trying to write scholarship essays, get into programs, etc. He reminded a few times before but it was way before the deadline so I thought I had time.
​
Two weeks before the appeal roll around and I remember it but was still really overwhelmed with everything to worry about to graduate. I thought I would just do it when he would remind me, however he never did and so we never did it. **Two weeks after** the deadline he remembered about the appeal after his friends bugged him about whether or not he is attending it and asked me if I ever did it.
​
He was top 6.5% but the school only accepted 6.1% and so he thought if he appealed he would have a good chance. He accepted that it's also partly his fault because he didn't remind me or remember himself but I can tell he's mad because I said I would help but I didn't. I see his point but although I'm trying to resolve it, I feel like he's always going to resent me. I just felt like if it was so important he would have remembered too. I honestly don't know how to fix it or talk to him so that he doesn't resent me so if you have advice on that that would be nice too.
​
We both got into another good state school, not the best, but I can tell when his friend's nudge him about the school he was going to appeal to he feels bad. He always expected to go there and his friends always talking about going there hurts cause it makes him seem lesser. He is so smart and I love him so much but I am scared it'll drive a wedge and resentment in our relationship and it'll go downhill from there. He's not super expressive and keeps it all inside so I never know if he's truthful and even if he admits he is resentful how am I supposed to fix it?
​
AITA for forgetting? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
kvbtxUlcjRtrseg6T20cG3kHKrGCifpF | axglud | {
"description": "thinking about girls other than my gf",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for thinking about girls other than my GF? | My GF and I have been together for about 6 years. We were in our early 20s when we met and have only been with each other ever since. We’ve never broken up or really dated anyone else before meeting.
For the past year or two, I’ve been day dreaming about being with other girls we know or being single. This happens especially after weekends of being out. I love her and have never acted on anything or feel like I cross any big lines while out. (I’ll very very loosely flirt with some girls but never make it seem like I actually would hook up). AITA or is this normal? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
RiBWflkwXroghsQKXbPMsmOKYVfg0ihU | at5g8v | {
"description": "sleeping with my friend who is in love with me just bc he made me feel better about myself",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 23
} | AITA for sleeping with my friend who is in love with me just bc he made me feel better about myself | Some background: I recently got my heart broken, the man I was in love with cheated on me for months and after I ended it with him, he got together with the woman he cheated with. They both work at the same company as me which means seeing them quite often and together and it’s incredibly hard. I’ve been feeling insecure and depressed because of this.
I have a good friend who has had a pretty obvious crush on me for a while now, but he never said anything specifically about it to me. A few nights ago, after a particularly bad day he showed up at my apartment confessing his love for me, telling me that he would never hurt me like the others. Before I really knew what was happening we were kissing. We ended up sleeping together and I had a panic attack the morning after and basically ended up kicking him out so that I could get myself together. We haven’t spoken since, he blocked my number and refuses to be in the same room as me. Am I the asshole? Does this count as leading someone on? Did I take advantage?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 23
} | WRONG |
vx0yk36bbCYFJLlZjeeoJFawnS4LbwVn | 9z24ku | null | AITA: Father-in-law makes jokes about giving us money so I stop going to restaurants when the rest of the family is invited | My father-in-law and I have a fairly good relationship and both he and his wife have helped us out a lot - help with the house (fixing issues), help with daycare (monetary) and even help with putting down a loan for the car. They are both retired, are fairly well-off and have over $500k in their bank accounts. We have a long-standing tradition of going to brunch on Sunday and because my wife and I struggle with finances with having two children, a car payment, a house payment, etc., we cannot afford to pay for these brunches. Our in-laws know this as they were previously in the same profession, but it doesn't stop my father-in-law from making jokes about picking up the tab, giving me a car loan ($2000) and paying for daycare. I've told my wife this that he only gives me a hard time and doesn't say anything to his other son-in-law and that if he continues, I will simply refuse to go on these brunches. She has talked to him about how the jokes make me feel and he acknowledges that he gives me a hard time and that he'll try in the future to stop. We have since stopped asking for help with daycare and I will have paid off my car 2.5 years early so that I can pay him off for the car loan.
Well, lo and behold, while all of us were shopping in a bookstore, he made an unhappy gesture to his wife, who was purchasing several books and wanted to purchase comics for our children, that since they paid so much for us that she needs to stop buying stuff for the kids. I got fed up, paid for everything (her books were $30 compared to the $5 that she wanted to pay for the comics) and was livid that he continued to bring up the issue of money. I have since stopped going to any family function that requires SOMEONE has to pay. I told my wife under no circumstances should my decision affect theirs in spending time with her parents and allowing them to see their grandkids because it's not fair to them.
AITA for refusing to go these family functions because he continues to make money an issue or AITA that needs to acknowledge that he's just making playful jokes that I am taking too personally? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
6WadyRIImY8A2LYsJUSnbY8r0idpzAme | abrjtc | {
"description": "taking my time at a diner",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for taking my time at a diner | I’m a college student currently home on break. The other day I hung out with a friend of mine who I haven’t seen in a while. We smoked some weed together and we didn’t want to go back to either of our houses, so we went to a local diner.
It was around 4pm and they were not very busy, however the whole time we were there there were at least 2 other tables with customers. I ordered disco fries and my friend ordered an omelette, not a ton of food but it’s not like we split a small side of fries between the two of us and just took up space.
The part where I’m worried we were assholes is that we finished our food pretty quickly but hung around for a while just talking and drinking water after we were done eating. In my understanding, diners are the place to do this, I feel like that’s part of diner culture, but our waitress seemed kind of pissed at us. She dropped off the check without us having asked for it, which isn’t that weird, but just in general she seemed in kind of a hurry to get us out the door. I’m worried we were maybe being assholes by taking up a table in her section and not allowing her to serve more people/make more in tips? That’s the explanation I thought up in my head, but maybe the internet has more insight.
So, was I just paranoid because I was high? or AITA for sitting at a diner booth for an extra half hour? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
FUJ12svQY6wwThGzoFv6JPzAo8vcy8Fr | alx768 | {
"description": "not wanting my dad to periodically slap my ass",
"pronormative_score": 52,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting my[13M] dad to periodically slap my ass? | My dad has been slapping my ass periodically since I was a kiddo, I'm sure its not nothing sexual and he hasn't done anything else, lets get that out of the way. He's emotionally a baby but he's no pedo.
Anyways, today we were walking to the kitchen and he slapped my ass and I told him I didn't like it and that I wanted him to stop. He said he made me so he has the right to do it, and fumed up when I said that he didnt. In his words "then i wont touch or talk to you, screw you" he eventually ended with "I'll touch you when I want, deal with it" and went to his room.
I'm well within my rights to ask him to stop, right? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 50,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 52,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
paK7pAirDHxfoiOsh7S6TtnTFslpjAxb | ay6gxx | {
"description": "asking if my roomate \"jeff\" has any forks",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For asking if my roomate "jeff" has any forks. | when jeff came home i accidentally turned the light off as i was leaving and he was entering the room. i noticed and came back and turned it on but he was already annoyed about it i apologized he seemed a bit annoyed but as he said later "let it slide". as he came in he started making a pizza to eat tonight i asked him if he had any forks in his room to which he replied i have a couple in my room. i asked if he knew where any others would be we ran out of forks earlier and theres now only five in the drawer ( we should have at least 20 forks). he said no and i dont like that your accusing me of "stealing" forks. he didn't seem to want to continue the conversation but i really didn't want to run out of forks again ( i was eating pasta with a spoon earlier) so i asked him if i could get the ones from his room. he said fine and walked with me to show me the dishes in his room. he had 5 bowls 3 plates 5 forks and a mug. when i started grabbing them i picked up 2 plates and a mug and he told me to stop so i stopped picking up more and he got mad at me for not stopping. ( he says i grabbed a mug he said stop then i grabbed the two plates.) this caused a pretty significant fight between us in which i said well if you can just keep the forks in your room then i should be able to keep some in mine and grabbed the five remaining forks to bring to my room. he said thats ridiculous after a couple seconds i returned the silverware to the drawer and he said if he was "digging through his room i would lose my mind" i stupidly replied i wouldn't if i brought you in there and pointed to the dishes and only said stopped once you picked them up, and you are loosing your mind. he replied if anything i am loosing my mind yelling and slamming drawers open ( when he said that he slammed the fork drawer open to reenact that). well when he did that i moved my hand to shut it and i put to much weight on it and bent the drawer down. he lost his shit at me for it and at this point i was just exhausted and i said look can we just go do something else for a couple minutes alone and he said no i just want you to go away. i said i cant just go away i have to fix this i would meet in the middle and both leave if that works and he said no you can just fix it later. i ended up laying down in the cupboard to fix it for a while and when i looked out he was just staring at me fixing it. i asked if he can leave its awkward fixing this while he is there and he said no i'm waiting for my pizza. i replied ok and just focused on fixing it. once i fixed it he was still staring and i was still upset so i said this needs to stop its been like 9 days of constantly fighting when you get home on the smallest things i do you call me a dick. and he said well look at it on my side every night i come home and your a dick. So AITA here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
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} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
gFZADMS1oC4x5aupNDYFnDIVUG7lnQ63 | aeb3cr | {
"description": "yelling at mom beating kid in parking lot",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for yelling at mom beating kid in parking lot | I'm in my car in a parking lot, killing time, waiting for a store to open. I see a mom walk out of a different store, clearly pissed, little 10 year old girl in front of her. The mom pushes the kid from behind two or three times. I watch.
They get to their car. Kid waits for mom to open the door... Mom hits her a couple times, kid cowers, mom opens the car door and hits kid with it, grabs something from inside the car, slams the door and raises her hand to hit the kid again. I watch.
Kid scurries behind the car, mom follows and this time has both hands balled up and is seriously hitting the kid. I open my car door and just stand there, 20 feet away and yell for her to quit.
The mom seemed shocked that anyone saw her and moreso that someone was saying anything back to her. She quit hitting the kid, they walked back toward the store but she did have additional words for me. What I was able to make out was "its my kid, i can do what i want".
The only reason I'm asking AITA is because i do believe parents have the right to discipline thier kids... But the number of hits and then it turning into closed fists, i wasnt just going to watch any more.
The "best" part was that the car had a bumper sticker for a catholic pro life "are you pregnant? Dont abort, try adoption" hotline... Cause she can beat her kids in public if she wants but will tell you what you should do with a baby on the way.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 22,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
S6lxcBMJb9YEFFjR4hfeyPluoNGfXsxN | arwxsm | {
"description": "wanting to keep nudes",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 24
} | AITA for wanting to keep nudes | So I have been dating a girl for a few months, and she noticed an old semi nude I was sent by an ex, she told me I should delete it from my phone as I was with her now, but having come from a very controlling relationship in the past, I have issues with someone new trying to tell me what I can and can’t do, and I feel like this is my moment to stand my ground and not let myself go down that path again. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 24,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 24
} | WRONG |
Z6YDZutAlZ5Uhlx7xtxLrU6ZWc5RYSj9 | 9xc6f2 | {
"description": "not letting my assistant patrol leader arrange a camp and not let me join",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA not letting my assistant patrol leader arrange a camp and not let me join? | I'm going to try to explain this as best as I can. I really want a third opinion on this so hopefully you guys can help me out.
I'm the Patrol Leader of one of my Scout Troop's 5 Patrols. I'm not really respected in my patrol, and one of my assistant patrol leaders (APLs) has apparently been talking with another patrol's Patrol Leader to host a joint camp and exclude me.
Considering that our patrol is not very friendly already and that I have already got nearly no respect from my members, I'm worried that such a camp will further reduce their respect for me and reduce our ability to work. My APLs are telling me they want me there "unofficially" but I feel like that's just going to reduce my members' trust in him and cause more major problems in my patrol.
Also, they say that they'd consulted me, which I don't recall ever happening, and also they'd told the patrol about it without confirming with me and so I'm pretty mad at them, but would I be the asshole if I didn't let this camp go through?
Also, what SHOULD I do instead?
P. S. I'll be asleep while you guys judge me, but please try to give me as much helpful advice as you can. I have no idea how to proceed and seriously need some help. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
KoZEHjCSsWyfzpsK326emD4fZ5sEdtxf | alo1j7 | {
"description": "not spending time with my best friends",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not spending time with my best friends | So I’ve been best-friends with B for about 4 years now. At her 18th almost two year ago, I hooked up with her brother and have been dating him ever since.
In 2017 we finished college so stopped hanging out everyday, but still saw each other every few months and talked loads. In September 2018 B went to uni so she’s never home a lot and we never talk as often as we both have completely different things going on in our lives.
Now when she is home, my bf likes to be home to spend time with his sister. Obviously we are a package deal, so when he’s home I’m at theirs too.
My bf recently said to me ‘I think I’m affecting yours and B’s friendship’ and I laughed it off and said that we’ve drifted apart since college/ her going to uni. She goes out every weekend whereas I never go out and am looking at settling down with my bf, taking the next step in my life which she isn’t thinking of doing for at least 5+ years.
I mistakenly told B this and she said well you never spend time with me, whenever I’m home you’re alway with bf. But the way I see it is that I don’t go to their house to see B I go there to spend the weekend with my BF.
Am I the asshole for spending time with my boyfriend and not with my best friend when she’s home from uni? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
rlYQgvFKiLqfxC8ibHDgaB2tkCU3ikhp | aqsrlf | {
"description": "telling my Aspie friend that his word shouldn't be taken at face value",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 21
} | AITA for telling my Aspie friend that his word shouldn't be taken at face value? | I have a friend from high school who has never dated. He once told me that he was diagnosed with Asperger's, and remembering him from school, I can believe it. He was the shy, awkward kid who kept to himself at lunch. He insists that his case is mild (if he "even has it"), that he's usually not much worse at social interaction than other people, but I personally think that he lacks the self-awareness to be an effective gauge of that. I mean, he *must*, otherwise he wouldn't be a diagnosed Aspie.
So anyways, the other day he confided in me via Facebook about a situation between himself and a close female friend of his who he likes. He told me that he's liked her for years, and that he thought she was flirting with him via texting - but as it turns out, she had a boyfriend, and didn't tell him for a year and a half. I told him that he probably misinterpreted her social cues on account of his Asperger's, and that she probably didn't say or do anything that would cause an ordinary person to believe that she was flirting with them. He then offered to show me copies of text messages between them, listed out other things that gave him the idea that she liked him, and asked me if I thought it sounded flirty. I told him that I can't say one way or the other because I don't have enough context to go by - and again, this ties into his Asperger's because most normal people are able to instinctively figure out whether something *sounds* flirty vs. actually *being* flirty. He got all defensive, asking me if this means that he shouldn't trust his own judgement (which he obviously shouldn't - it's a fact of his biology), and told me that a few other people he showed it to thought it sounded flirtatious - blah blah blah. I told him that he asked for my honest opinion, I gave it to him, and it is very entitled and disrespectful of him to argue my point when he was the one who wanted to hear it in the first place. He insisted that he wasn't trying to argue with me, but I said, "Then why is it such an issue? If you don't want people's honest opinions, don't ask for them. I'm not interested in having an argument with you over something so stupid. Let it go, please." His response was a sarcastic-sounding "Well, thanks anyway."
Asperger's means that you're not capable of reading other people like ordinary human beings. A woman compliments you or is extra friendly for some reason, you think she's attracted to you. That's what Asperger's ***is***. Does he have a right to argue with me when I took the time to answer his fucking question in the first place?
I bring this up because he told another friend about our so-called "disagreement". I know this because she shared a FB meme about mental health labels not defining people, and he was the only one who liked it. Clearly, he's only interested in getting people to tell him what he wants to hear. I really don't think I'm an asshole for not being his sycophant. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 21,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 21
} | WRONG |
s1xVlpyGycn3BRCdU415MEr6qk5RcCz5 | as7mkw | {
"description": "wearing a sports bra when I run outside",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for wearing a sports bra when I run outside? | I like to wear a sports bra top when I do a running workout outside (weather permitting). My husband would prefer I didn’t, and wore a shirt over. AITA?
To support his opinion: To be fair, I am from the US originally, but we have emigrated elsewhere. There is not so much a workout/fitness culture here, and in all honesty, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone working out in just a sports bra...maybe once or twice in 10 plus years? The usual attire is a more covering top, and even shorts without leggings is relatively rare. It’s not for religious reasons or anything, just the local style is kinda more modest on top in general.
That’s fine too of course, but I’ve always worn a sports bra and shorts unless it’s too cold and I’m outside, and it was much more common to see in my old country. In my defense, I get hot really quickly, and I feel like I do my best workouts and get my best times when I’m cool (I’m the weird person wearing shorts running when it’s freezing out). I feel way more energized and more comfortable with less clothes rubbing against me.
I don’t run like in the middle of a busy city or anything. I run/workout on a sort of more rural area with a trail, where it’s mostly runners and walkers anyway.
Plus, again being honest here, I’m proud of my body, and I kinda like showing off some skin. I gave birth to our five kids - the fact that I have abs is something I feel very lucky about. Exercising and staying in good shape has been pretty key to keeping my own sense of self instead of getting lost in parenting.
My husband’s discomfort stems from my choice of clothing sticking out and being unusual and being more revealing than usual sportswear. I don’t believe he’s trying to be controlling...? He’s made similar remarks when I’ve gone outside in camisole type tops I wear as pjs/house clothes in the past, which again is incredibly unusual and never seen where we live. I’ve actually stopped wearing those out because even I have come to feel kind of uncomfortable. But I persist in my sports bras, because I have a lot of cute and expensive ones I love, and again for all the reasons I listed above.
On all other accounts, my husband is a great guy, I think I’m a pretty good gal, and we respect each other and communicate and compromise well. But I feel stubborn and don’t really want to compromise on this one.
If my husband asks if I’d put on a shirt when I’m heading out to run, AITA for saying no thanks and going out in a sports bra instead anyway? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
xAibb1Zt8GvuI2ZXZLGUooLym77JHbdg | aitw37 | {
"description": "hurting a dog that jumped in my backyard",
"pronormative_score": 61,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for hurting a dog that jumped in my backyard? | First, sorry for the mobile formatting :(
Context: I've lived at my place for over three years now, and just a few months ago a new family moved in next door, wife and husband with two kids. They're quiet and nice so we lived by each other pretty nicely.
Just last week they got a new dog, and it would seem that they'd get a "typical" dog, for lack of a better word, but it was completely atypical than you'd think. They had gotten a sort of young pitbull/German Shepard mix. I'm not sure exactly what it was, but the dog seemed pretty beefy. I don't understand exactly why they'd need a guard dog, as we live in a safer area of town.
This brought me some worrying, as I have a smaller Chihuahua/mini pinscher mix that theirs could easily tear apart. They seemed to be attentive to it and understanding about the situation, so my nerves were calmed. However, yesterday while I was letting my dog outside, they began to bark at each other. I didn't have much time to think, because Beef Boy instantly jumped the wall and went after my dog. I was yelling and pulling him off while my dog, until mine ran into the house. I rushed back in as soon as I let go so that Beef Boy wouldn't chase into my home, and then I shut the door behind me. All while this happens, the neighbor jumps the wall and comes after his dog as well and takes him back over. I was certain to myself that I wouldn't be so gentle with their dog the next time, because it was so close to killing my own that it scared the shit out of me.
But to think it would happen again, THE NEXT DAY, was unthinkable. The owners had done nothing about it, as if it was some normal occasion. I was still attentive of my dog, but this time Beef Boy didn't need barking, and leaped over my wall and got on mine again. As I ran closer, I could see that it has its mouth around my dogs neck. So I kicked it. It wouldn't budge, so I kicked it again. Harder. He finally let go and my dog got inside, and I did the same routine as before. The neighbor watched it all go down in the exact same way as before, and told me sorry. Not that he was going to help, put it on a leash, or teach him. Only that he was sorry. I walked back out and let him know that if the dog tried to hurt mine again, I'd be sure to either call animal control or kill it. And that if he trespassed on my lawn again I would be sure to do something about that as well. I made sure he understood that I made that clear.
After it's been said and done, I feel I might have overreacted on something. Am I the asshole for threatening his dog for attempted murder, and him for his apathy?
Sorry if this seems hard to read, it just happened an hour ago and I'm still shaken up by it a bit.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 61,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 61,
"WRONG": 8
} | RIGHT |
iNlKIo0BMqBmlRaXkju9YlEHqbQEYOMG | aueobd | {
"description": "getting angry at my sister for asking whether I'm still bi because I'm dating a guy",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting angry at my sister for asking whether I'm still bi because I'm dating a guy? | Title says it all and is basically a TL;DR, but to give a little context, I came out in 2014 as bisexual after my parents saw Facebook messages I had sent to my former youth minister about me coming out. I originally was hesitant to say anything about it but once the secret was out I thought I had nothing to lose. Plus if I came out, I thought that would stop people from constantly asking me "Are you gay?" and whatnot, as growing up I was CONSTANTLY asked that question by peers, some of their parents, and others (it gets old really fast).
Apparently, this didn't sink in with my immediate family, as when I got a girlfriend later that year my dad asked if I now (at that time) were straight again now that I'm dating a girl. Obviously as someone that identified as bisexual I explained to him that's not how it works and hoped that would be the end of the discussion. 5 years after coming out and my sister, while the most LGBTQ-friendly of the fam, will still ask me these questions, despite telling her I don't date based on gender and that while I mainly date guys I've been attracted to girls before and it's more who swipes right on me on Tinder (I have it to match with both men and women but 95% of my matches are guys).
The most recent incident has got me asking if I'm making this a bigger deal than it should be or whether I'm reacting normally. Earlier this month, I matched with a guy and we've gone on 2 dates so far in addition to texting each other quite a bit. I really like this guy and if things work out I wanna see if I can turn it into something more. So I proceed to tell my sister that I'm seeing this guy and that I really like him, in addition to some surface-level info (school, personality, etc) so she gets an idea of what he's like. Her first question?
"Wait, so do you only like guys now, I'm confused? And like who's the "man" in the relationship?"
I proceed to get really angry and tell her off for asking that, as it feels like she's invalidating my bisexuality by asking if I only like guys in addition to asking who's the "man" as if one of us has to fill that role when in fact I just care if we compliment each other and if he's nice to me. What mainly angered me, however, is this isn't the first time she's asked these questions and I'm really tired of having to explain myself and have that be the first questions about him asked. All my friends that I've told have generally asked what he's like and what he does for a living, but apart from that I've had no one ask me whether I'm still bisexual or not barring my family. It frustrates me that whenever I have an update in my love life the first questions I get asked have nothing to do with how he makes me feel but instead are regarding the current status of my sexuality and whether I'm now gay. | HISTORICAL | {
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ossLUNl8a1UOQGCZtLJKKRJoa1KabVzo | ajaclz | null | AITA My landlord completely ignored me. | I'm going to try to make this as unbiased as possible. So my air-conditioning unit broke in my apartment. I live in Arizona so it's hot as fuck during the summer. I told my landlady about it being broken and they sent someone out. The air guy said he couldn't fix it because it was so old, it needed to be replaced. I went to the office to tell my landlady what he said. She wasn't there, it was open so I sat inside the office and waited. She finally came out, after some time, eating something. (Her apartment was connected to the office.) She walked past me. Didn't look at me. Said nothing. Sat at her desk and started typing something. After maybe a minute she finally just said "The maintenance guy said he would be there today." Still didn't look at me. So I told her he already came and so on. Well now I thought she was rude as fuck. But my boyfriend said I'm the one who was rude because I didn't say anything first and was just starring at her. Mind you he wasn't there, I just told him about it. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | RIGHT |
tLRzWulCsmRefVv4O7rVLZy1Xwr9MwWX | aa14rj | {
"description": "hating on a dead snitch",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | WIBTA for hating on a dead snitch? | Back story here. SWIM used to be a suburban hippy dealer type. You know the happy go lucky weed and doses kind of guy. Very friendly and did it all to spread the love and make some monies. Eventually SWIM was arrested and charged with trafficking from selling to a confidential informant. Because of when it was and where it was and what it was SWIM knew who it was. But SWIM wasnt violent. And Swim knew he was breaking the law. So swim took his licks and after three years of jail, drug court, and prison SWIM was free and happy again. A year later the guy who ratted on swim OD'ed after christmas at his house alone, leaving behind his new son.
Now several years later swim knows that he was not the only one ratted on. Not by a longshot. And swim and this guy was close. So when swim sees a Facebook post being all sweet about this informant and how sad it was he taken so early and how he missed him and what not. SWIM couldn't help but to get on and say fuck that dude, he a rat who got what he deserved and dont put him on a pedestal just cause your one of the friends he didn't betray.
So.... is SWIM THE ASSHOLE?
SWIM stands for Someone Who Isnt Me ;) | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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doMU5166vl65GGHzqXNvrcsxLDqL2o9c | ayv9kt | {
"description": "not letting my sister eat with me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not letting my sister eat with me | (*English is not my first language*) Now i know that i look like the asshole in this situation here but here me out my bigger sister will be=bs and me=me
Now because of international womens day my sister was treated like a queen when shr went to the mall they gave her free ice cream and a discount on every thing she bought i didnt go with her to the mall so i didnt have dinner(lunch is when we eat our main meal) so when she Came back she started barginf about how her night was so after an hour i was hungry so i went to the kitchen and fried some chicken. Then when its done i came to eat when my bs came she told me can she have one i told her ok but after some time she came back the conversation follows
Bs:can i have one more
Me:no because you went to the mall and got free ice cream and discounts
Bs:stop being so mean its international womens day
Me: well its not fair at all and im hungry i havent at all
*Bs stormed away*
So am i the asshole for not sharing food with my sister | HISTORICAL | {
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BPrmzfHVmNZGhUvXQCowuIBWijrMt5Km | b1x763 | {
"description": "wanting to have a final say in our finances",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for wanting to have a final say in our finances? | My wife and I are going through a rough patch as far as money. I’m the only one working. We have no children.
She is the WORST with impulse buys. Our house is very literally packed with stuff she keeps buying without consenting me. We have almost no savings because she can’t seem to control herself. She buys gifts for both our families for no special occasion as well as our friends. There’s been more than one occasion where I didn’t know about it until we were going out the door to go meet them and she would bust out a brand new air fryer or bag of video games or shit from Bed Bath and Beyond. The list goes on and on. She even “loaned” her sister the money for a new refrigerator without telling me until after the fact.
I’m at the end of my rope. I’ve talked with her about this so many times I’ve honestly lost count. Nothing changes. She says that she will talk with me before buying anything, but then just keeps on doing it. And then is genuinely surprised when I get angry. I don’t know how many other ways I can discuss it with her. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result and I’m definitely going crazy over this.
I’m not sure what else to do besides put limitations on the bank account and disabling the amazon account. | HISTORICAL | {
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O0FwF6zLn5cp8JVjWmA0CluXYbcy3rLT | azwl59 | {
"description": "telling a girl Id still be her friend if nothing worked out but not end up being her friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling a girl id still be her friend if nothing worked out but not end up being her friend? | I know I know it sounds bad, but hear me out:
I (M15) had flirted and talked to this girl for 3 months. I liked her so very very much and she said I was perfect. I thought this was a clear signal that I’d get to be with her but no, she says that I’m just not attracted to you, ever though I’m perfect for her. I’m bummed and all but it’s whatever, it’s in my nature to get over hints easily. Now before this what frustrates me was that she had lied to me on multiple occasions. I was stupid to go back to her but I did anyways. Cut to a few months back, we meet up and hang out. We ended up kissing, our first kiss, or so I thought. Later that day she said she just wants to be friends so I was like ok whatever. I was willing to put in the effort to be a friend. But I threw that out the window entirely when I found out she lied to me for the last time. Apparently she lied to me about being her first kiss. Apparently she had kissed a bunch of others before me. Now that doesn’t make me mad itself, I could care less if she kissed dudes before me, but what Infuriated me was the fact that she lied about it, at least 10 times (not an exaggeration by any means I swear) i decided that she had lied to me for the last time. I finally confronted her, on what happened to be her birthday (I forgot it was her birthday) and I said you lied to me so many times. I told her I wasn’t going to be an asshole on her birthday and rag on her, but I did just flat out say good luck with your life and goodbye.
TL:DR Girl lied to me too many times and I refused to be friends with her
| HISTORICAL | {
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EJyGF8pqqMHoFEfC6dk1dX0YZSTpBpMA | b2eaiw | {
"description": "being angry over promised stroller after miscarriage",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being angry over promised stroller after miscarriage? | Okay long story but I’ll keep it short.
Back when Toys R Us went bankrupt my husband and I went to go look and see what stuff was on sale. We bought a few things but more specifically bought a pretty expensive stroller that was like 75% off even though we had no kids at the moment. We had been talking and making plans to hopefully get pregnant in the next year or two and we both conceded that buying the stroller was a good option.
Fast forward a few months and I found out I was pregnant. I was super excited and happy but he immediately acted a little off. We talked and he said he wasn’t excited about the timing but happy to have a baby. We told our friends and family and shortly after I had a miscarriage.
It’s been approximately 7 months since the miscarriage. We still have the stroller and it’s sitting in the closet. Yesterday would have been my due date. We were at a party and some guy who knocked up his gf, who we know but aren’t friends with, was at the party. All of a sudden my husband yells across the room in front of 15-20 people “HEY CAN WE GIVE THEM THE STROLLER? WE HAVE NO USE FOR IT SO WE MIGHT AS WELL” I didn’t want to be seen as a major bitch so I simply said yes.
Well today we got into a huge fight about it. Not only did he put me in the spot by not consulting with me but I feel like he’s completely disregarding everything we had talked about previously. It’s like he’s completely oblivious to the fact that one, I kept the stroller because I’m hoping to put a baby in it soon, and two he doesn’t care about how I feel during this time.
I blew up and told him I felt like he didn’t care, he stayed silent the whole car ride, walked inside the door and immediately headed for his PC and didn’t event apologize. Am I being an asshole and over reacting here or is he being a fucking douche? | HISTORICAL | {
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OrENYcwBeDujTmyneLkSsOvcFVAdhUdS | abbqoh | {
"description": "cutting off friend after she kept talking about her eating disorder",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for cutting off friend after she kept talking about her eating disorder ? | Throwaway since a couple of people know my main account and this is a sensitive issue and I don't want to violate my friend's privacy.
So Lily (not her real name) and I have known each other since high school, but have only started getting close as of last year, since we're the only two people from my hometown who go to my current college and it was nice and comforting to hang out with a familiar face. We aren't exactly best friends, but we are pretty close and I'm her usual go-to for venting. At the start of the previous summer, Lily confided in me that she was bulimic and that she has been struggling with the disorder for sometime now, she even shared with me her side Instagram and Tumblr accounts that were filled with things such a thinspo and texts detailing her feelings, thoughts and struggles with the disorders. I, in turn, revealed to her that all throughout high school I was diagnosed with and struggled with Anorexia Nervosa, but was able to beat the worst of it and am on the path of recovery. I didn't do it as a "woe is me" or "I have it worse", I just thought that maybe her knowing I used to be in a similar spot (albeit not the exact situation) would be comforting and that she would know my advice comes from a place of experience. Her response was that she was actually jealous of how thin I was in high school, and that she didn't need professional help because she was doing fine. I figured that she was still in the denial stage and that me trying to force her to do anything would not work, just as it didn't work with me.
From then on, she would send me detailed posts about the episodes she went through and it made me uncomfortable, but since I was the only person she could talk to about this I put my discomfort aside and tried to be there for her as best as I could. But then it got worse. Her posts became more and more detailed, and some of them became very triggering to me: mentioning purging, how great fasting multiple days was.. basically all things I used to do and am still trying to recover from. I've asked her to stop, since this was leading to my mental health degrading and the urge to do those things returning. She stopped for a while, but then started doing it again and this time sending me pictures of extremely unhealthy skinny people with their bones poking out or tagging me in posts talking positively about EDs. I've confronted her about it for a second time, thinking that maybe this was some way of coping for her, and described how badly her actions made me feel in detail. And then she did that stuff again, going as far as to send me my own junior yearbook photo, one taken during probably the lowest point of my life where i weighed 80lbs (40kg) and had sunken cheeks and looked dead, telling me that that was her ideal weight and her body goal.
So I sent her an angry message, blocked her on all social media platforms and refused to talk to her whenever she tried to approach me on campus. Our mutual friends were confused about this, so I just spun a tale about how we had a big argument since I didn't want to violate her privacy by mentioning the real reason since I'm the only one who knows about her ED. In the last few weeks she has distanced herself from all of our mutual friends and I'm getting very worried. A friend also told me that she didn't show up to two exams.
I am now regretting my decision because I just realized I'm her only safety net and support group when it comes to this, and I remember what having no one felt like when I was in her position and it was horrible. I want to talk to her again because I think I've overreacted but a part of me thinks that I did the right thing.
Should I reach out to her again or am I in the right ? AITA for cutting her off all of sudden and not trying to be more patient with her ?
​ | HISTORICAL | {
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YvbC7T9FAPoAexjAOZrlINKSe01DSHeE | b3900o | {
"description": "going out with friends and not staying back with my gf",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for going out with friends and not staying back with my gf | So, I have been working my ass off since January with my post-graduate degree. Usually I'm working from 7am to late night with no weekends or holidays as we always have a project that needs to be done or a test/exam. This week is the final week of the term and I'm also writing a test on the last day. We have a week off after this. The problem is that I dont get to see my gf much as she live a bit far and attends a different university. I only see her on weekends and because I've been so busy I only have been able to see her maybe 1 or 2 days of the week, the last couple of weeks. However, she has gone out without me a few times with her friends because I'm literally too busy. I'm always happy if she goes out because I know she struggles with friends and dont want her not going just because I have work.
She messaged me that she does not want to go out on the last day because she has doesn't feel like going out and if she comes she going to stay back when we go out in town. Which is fine, a bit bleak because I've been really keen to go out due to being trapped in my room working. I asked her if it would be fine if I go out with my friends for a couple of hours and come back later that night. She said it's fine but will be sad if I leave her there. Because she knows I want to go out she says she maybe won't even come because she's going to be a wet blanket. So now I feel like an asshole for going out with me friends and not having my gf with and if she comes she is staying at my place sad till I come back.
Also: she says I always chill to much with my friends when we go out and that we do not chill enough together. Which is partly true I feel, but it's not my intention to neglect her. I switch conversation often between people and just enjoy not being stuck in my room and socializing. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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UDfFuBhroHsRLQbwJ5HqpPweRTrWNsXR | ae4on0 | {
"description": "making a deal out of my fiance not planning to exchange a Christmas gift he didn't like so he'll get something he does like and will use",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for making a deal out of my fiance not planning to exchange a Christmas gift he didn't like so he‘ll get something he does like and will use? | This is a throwaway account because I don‘t want it on my main.
My fiance and I got into a fight last night about a Christmas gift he got from my grandparents. They spent about $100 American dollars on a nice, fancy shirt for him. To clear things up a bit, we‘re in a European country, the price of things here are a bit different. You don‘t really get a shirt under about $30. $100 is not as much money as in America but still a decent value of money and a nice gift.
I asked him last night if he‘d tried it on or what he did with the shirt (I don‘t remember my exact question.) He said he hadn't tried it on and then he implied he didn't like the pattern so I asked him why he hadn't exchanged it then for something he would like and would fit him. Then we got into the argument.
His view is that this was a gift that is his now and it shouldn't matter what he does with it. He could rip it up in shreds, burn it, throw it in the trash if he pleases or his plan, keep it in the closet and give it away later on. He thinks I was making a way too much big of a deal about „just a shirt.“ and not accepting his point of view (which is true, I am not because I think he‘s being a jerk.)
While I understand that this is his now, I think this attitude is really disrespectful in any case towards the giver. If I give a gift to someone that doesn't suit their preference (color or style) or wouldn't fit them I would want them to go back to the store and get something they actually like and will be using. In the stores here they put an exchange ticket on everything before Christmas so people can return and exchange their presents if they wish to do so.
What bothers me the most though and what I would say the whole reason for me making a deal out of this is that this gift came from close relatives and the fact that my grandparents do not have much money. A lot of their savings has gone into medical bills and my grandpa‘s new teeth but they still want to give „valuable gifts.“ It‘s okay he didn't like THIS exact shirt but I feel like he‘s not being grateful for their gesture and kinda of just throwing their money away by not even trying to actually get one he will like and use so their money wasn't wasted.
Is this as simple as „this is his gift now and he can do what he wants with it“ and I am being an asshole for making a deal out of this? | HISTORICAL | {
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yHBGiRnaJXtQUR6LBcEyD48IXjoV8YO7 | agrt7o | {
"description": "unintentionally causing an argument between a couple; which I then found out, almost broke them up",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for unintentionally causing an argument between a couple; which I then found out, almost broke them up... | So, for a bit of background, I’m female [37] & I’m a senior RN. There’s a student nurse on my ward at the moment, I’ll call her Jen*.
She’s, I think, [32] divorced with 2 young kids.
I only met her last Thursday when we were on the same shift, & all through the morning, she was going on about her bf, Steve [35].
She was blatantly showing off, telling us about the things Steve had bought her, (and telling us how much said things cost: cringe) & how he was taking her on a trip to Australia...Then how much he just loves her, & wants to get married & have a kid. All this after six months? Woah. I was starting to feel a bit claustro, to be honest (but that’s my personal opinion of course).
She also said how he sent her *Interflora* flowers, (yes, she specified) everyday for 2 weeks, until she agreed to go out with him.
This seemed romantic when she first said it, but dig a little deeper, & I realised, they met online, on POF actually, so...what? He tracked down her physical full name & address to send her flowers. He works in IT somewhere too.
Red flag.
Anyway, to say I’d only just met her that day, she was telling us hella personal things, like how big his dick was, for example, along with showing us pics of what we (too late!) discovered to our horror, were *not* of his face! We were trying to do our jobs, but she was hovering, & in our faces.
I should add, that at this stage, we were in the treatment room (so nowhere near patients or relatives).
In there, was Jen, Claudia (another RN) & I at the time, & I mistakenly thought Claudia knew Jen, & that’s why she was being so open, but I later found out she’d only met her once herself.
Anyway, the day goes on & so does she, so I finally said to her, show me a pic of this Steve guy I’ve heard so much about (his *face* this time!).
So she did, & I immediately recognised him bc I had been talking to him at one stage, on POF...but it was ages ago (before they were together) & I remember he was a bit intense, so I stopped talking to him.
In fact though, intense is an understatement, he was full on right away, & we’d not even met in person. I found him creepy & needy, & I’ve not got time for that shit. So that was the end of that.
Anyway, as she’s showing me, she looked at me all smugly for my reaction, & my face must have changed (or recoiled in horror, can’t be sure), but whichever, she noticed, & asks me ‘what?’
I felt I had to say something at this point bc she could see I knew him, or of him, somehow from my reaction, & I didn’t want her mind to runaway with her, wondering if anything had happened between us. So, put on the spot, I just said that I recognised him from POF, but that I hadn’t spoke to him in months, bc he was ‘a bit much’ (my exact words). I might have also said the word ‘intense’, but I’m not certain.
I explained it was months ago, & that we never even met in person, but she was weird with me for the rest of the day, & avoided me.
Didn’t think much of it, but then I’ve come in to work this morning, & she’s apparently made a *massive* deal about it on Friday, the day after, when I wasn’t on shift.
She told 3 of the other nurses, including Claudia, that I said Steve was ‘really into me’ when we were chatting (which I didn’t), & even if he *had* been ‘really into me’, I wouldn’t say that to his *fucking gf*, would I?!
I mean I suppose some people might, but I’m not that kind of person; and not even necessarily to spare her feelings, although that is an element, but I just *couldn’t* do it; it would make me literally cringe to say words like that, even if it were true. Nobody likes a bragger.
Now, say if he *had* been chatting to me when he was with her, then I definitely would have said something, (not that, but something) bc I wouldn’t want her to look like a mug; but he wasn’t, & so I didn’t.
I was told she was found literally crying on the staff toilet floor, saying it could be the end of them. Seems like she’s gone home & for some reason brought it up with him (just why??) & it’s caused a huge row.
The only exception to her even mentioning it is, if she made a joke about it, he laughed, & it was never spoke of again. Now, I’m not sure what *did* happen but I know for sure, that this did *not* happen.
All I know is, it was Friday when she had her meltdown, & the argument between them (still not sure why it had to turn into *any* argument) apparently went on over the weekend a bit, but I didn’t see her again from last Thursday, until this Monday.
I mean, did she expect him to have never spoken to another girl in his life?? Surely *that* would have been more odd?
She even asked Claudia if she should speak to Mary (my **BOSS**!!) about it!! Like what the actual fuck?
As if Mary’s gonna care about our personal lives, when we’re adults, & it has absolutely nothing to do with work, not to mention it happened well before she’d even met him.
Claudia said to her, she should just speak to me about it if I’d upset her, as she didn’t think I’d deliberately do that to her, but she hasn’t.
She spoke to me on Monday as if nothing had happened (and at that point I hadn’t found out, & she never told me). In fact she made a point of speaking to me & being extra nice, in hindsight she was probably concerned I’d heard about her freak out, & would want to save face maybe?
She hasn’t been on shift today, so I haven’t seen her since I found out. So, I’m not sure how that’ll go.
All my friends tell me *she’s* the asshole, but they gotta say that, they’re my a-hole friends!
So, come on Reddit, honestly, am I in the wrong here? Am I the asshole?
*all names changed | HISTORICAL | {
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WWQB2kZKWx9uvfzDTAjIHtCRfhYwsCBU | 9ukjhd | {
"description": "sending my teacher an aggressive email anonymously",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for sending my teacher an aggressive email anonymously | A few days ago, my 10th grade English teacher (who we'll call Mrs N) gave us an extremely hard test that we as a class were unprepared for. Needless to say, the class did extremely poorly, with the average score being a 55%. The following day she proceeded to berate and blame my class for having done so poorly on the test, even though we had only spent about a week and a half on the material, and (at least I believe) that when a class does so poorly on a given test, it is the teacher's fault for making the test too hard.
Over the weekend, I, while still being mad at her, decided to send her an angry email. I will put a copy of the email as the first comment, but essentially, it was very passive aggressive, blaming her for everything and insisting that not count the test as part of our grade. I sent this email from a throwaway email address not associated with my name, and signed it as being from the students of all of her gifted program classes. A thing to note however is that while I was the only one who wrote the email, the sentiments were shared by almost all the students.
Today in class, Mrs N confronted all of her classes by acting extremely disappointed. She threatened to punish the all of her students for this. Furthermore all of my fellow classmates, along with Mrs N, are mad at the person who did this, but I believe that my classmates are simply mad because they might get in trouble, but they agree with what I said.
So AITA? and AITA to my classmates or my teacher or both? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
nrwiEFEsquBymO6HSvBkL9bmZqsLBn3U | agjaor | {
"description": "telling my boyfriend he can't talk to his friend anymore",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA I told my boyfriend he can’t talk to his friend anymore. | My boyfriend has a female friend that he slept with 4 years ago in high school. They never done anything like that after that and have been friends ever since. She didn’t like me and stopped talking to him when we started dating.
Around six months into dating she came back and started spending suggestive snap to my boyfriend and our friend who is also in a relationship. He handled the situation well and she got mad at him.
Today, we have be dating for a year and one day and while we are hanging out she sends him a actual nude (belly buttons up covering nips with her arm) saying he should call her. He told her that she can’t send him photos like that. And she opened it but never responded.
I told him want him to block her on everything because that was too far and I’m done with her shit. He didn’t want to because of their friendship. After a bit more arguing I said she wasn’t his friend anymore because she lift as soon I came around and the only thing you see or hear from her it flirting. After that block her on snap, insta, and Facebook.
After that last straw I couldn’t take it anymore.
TLDR: my boyfriend long time high school female friends send him a nude after our one year anniversary and I made him cut her out of his life | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
iSb50dfo8xzi5aZn6c57lz9BTeD69l9w | abctmy | {
"description": "going out for new years",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for going out for New Years? | Last year I attended a NYE party at my friends house, and this year he invited me and my new girlfriend. I accepted and asked my girlfriend if she'd like to come. She said no, and then questioned why I didn't spend NYE with her instead. She's Filipino and they have a lot of family NYE traditions. Now she's saying stuff like "it's good that you're spending the new years with people who make you happy," because I didn't cancel on my friends. I understand that when I first accepted (and knew the answer would likely be 'no') I didn't really take into consideration of what she'd like to do. So AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 3
} | INFO | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Y4NHlNQjS4SDao3R1iFnYFpklSEvEhz3 | b7qfbi | {
"description": "hating my autistic brother",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for hating my autistic brother. | My brother is 14, I’m 28. We’re half Brothers (share a Mum) and my Mum and brother’s father are separated.
So my Brother has Autistic Spectrum Disorder, he’s probably middle teetering onto high on the scale. He has learning difficulties but isn’t like, non-verbal. It’s moreso than aspergers.
He also has ADHD, and his behaviour is absolutely atrocious. We actually think his diagnosis should be Opposition Defiant Disorder but apparently not enough is known to diagnose that here.
He doesn’t do anything he’s told, he breaks things without care, runs away, has barely done a full days school in his life, my Mum is pretty much his sole carer because his Dad is a dick.
My brother treats my Mum like garbage, she has no social life, no friends, she doesn’t get a break. He doesn’t see it and it’s infuriating. She has arthritis and fibromyalgia too, and is such a caring person, she was a midwife for 30 years until she had to take early retirement. He doesn’t care though, he grabs her and hits her, never does anything to make anything easier on her.
He was fine with me until like two years ago when he found out I was gay. Now he hates me. He thinks he can catch gay, won’t touch me, doesn’t like me being at my Mums house, can’t go there with my partner and see my Mum.
Just today, it’s Mother’s Day and we had planned a day out with my sister and Mum and Brother, and he decided he had a problem with the gay thing again despite being over it and refused to go.
He also has told me about weird fantasies he’s had and I honestly think he’s a psychopath. He used to watch Snakes eating baby rabbits on YouTube and loved the sound of their squeals when they were dying. I really do fear that he’s going to end up killing my Mum in her sleep or something.
I honestly just feel he’s a drain on my mother and a drain on society. He’ll never be capable of work, mainly because he’s too damn lazy, never be able to live fully independently, refuses to try and learn or try new things.
I hate to see my Mum just get dragged down and down, and I can’t do anything about it because it’s not like I can look after him so my Mum can have respite. She’s just stuck.
I seriously wish he had never been born. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
wrsjv3u5YOFxPqvIdiVhCW1l9FBj1JhG | arnjtt | {
"description": "wanting to tell the world that my girlfriends \"friend\" spent all night grabbing her ass, trying to sleep with her and pushing his erect penis against her bum",
"pronormative_score": 37,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA For wanting to tell the world that my girlfriends "friend" spent all night grabbing her ass, trying to sleep with her and pushing his erect penis against her bum? | Sorry in advance for typos, I'm properly fuming.
So she went out last night for her brothers birthday with him and all his mates. She's really close with a lot of them as she grew up with them, they treat her like a little sister. It's really awesome. One of these guys friends came out too last night, someone she's only met a few times. We'll call him Dave.
So Dave has a girlfriend of 4 years, a pretty nice guy so I hear (not that I've ever met him) ((and not that I think that now)) At about 1AM last night, he was reeeeeeally drunk and they were all in the club. For the next 2 hours he preceeded to grab her ass 15+ times despite her telling him not to, he was begging her to come back to his for the night relentlessly and right near the end of the night, she was at the bar and he came up behind her and pinned her against the bar and pushed his erect penis against her bum. She managed to push him away but she's still quite shook up by it all. (she was raped 4yrs ago, still dealing with the after affects)
So I go to pick her up, she gets in the car and she's clearly off. About 2 minutes up the road she told me about the bum squeezing and propositions and I turned the car round. I was going to drag this guy to the car and make him apologise for being such a total peice of sh*t. I was told not to so I didn't. When we got home she then told be about him pinning her against the bar. I've somehow stopped myself going back to the club, I don't know how. I haven't been that angry in a looooong time.
So here's the kicker, she doesn't want anyone to know. I've found out his and his girlfriends names and I want to send a couple of messages off. Truthfully, I want to go and put this guy in the hospital but I'm not going against her wishes to that extent.
Advice would be great here, if anyone knows a way to process these emotions I'd be very glad to hear it.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 33,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 37,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
YtFoC2vv4kAVimpiDg7dn8D4HldwOAze | al755q | {
"description": "snapping at my boyfriend for constantly interrupting me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for snapping at my boyfriend for constantly interrupting me? | Hi guys, long time lurker, first time poster. Don't care to use a throwaway account because I don't really care if he sees this.
My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now (after pretty much love at first sight), and just moved across the country/into an apartment together. Usually we have a very happy, loving relationship and we can both safely say that we believe we're each other's soulmates. He has improved not only my happiness and life, but who I am as a person and helped me discard a lot of negativity I had weighing me down. I want to marry this man one day, and I know he feels the same, so breaking up isn't an option here.
The issue that has come up multiple times throughout our relationship is his constant need to interrupt me. Now, I myself realized a few months ago that I have a tendency to over-talk and interrupt people at times myself, and I have been working on paying more attention to what people are saying to me instead of just waiting for my turn to speak. I have tried many times to talk to him about how him interrupting me makes me feel like he doesn't care about what I'm saying, and most of the times whatever question or statement he's rudely splicing my train of thought with is one that would've been answered if he just listened until I finished.
We're currently working on a writing project together (I have been writing since I was very young, and this is not my first rodeo worldbuilding but it is his) and while workshopping, I came up with an idea. Immediately, I begin to pitch it as I come up with it, and he just interrupts me in a pretty rude voice after I get like 7 words in to go, "Yeah, but what does it have to do with (Project Name)?" And I snapped at him that maybe I would get to it if he didn't interrupt my train of thought in the middle of me musing, and told him very firmly to stop (bleeping) interrupting me all the time. Mind you, I did not yell, just used that irritated girlfriend voice. You know the one. His response was to go, "Fine, I just won't work with you then!" And to walk out of the room.
I once again tried to express how he was hindering my creative process by interrupting me, and that it's become a (sorry I hate this word but idk what else to use) trigger of mine over the course of our relationship so my reaction might've been a bit heated. He interrupted me before I finished this to say that I always had to act like a child whenever anyone asked me a question, I tried to say I'm not annoyed about the question rather the timing, and he continued calling me a child. He also told me to "deal with it" when I mentioned the creative process thing again, which felt more childish than what he was accusing me of. He then left the apartment and now I am writing this.
So, I'm at a bit of a loss. Am I the asshole here? I have attention issues, and my brain always has about layers of thoughts overlapping at all times, so when I'm in a creative space it's imperative that I be allowed to reach the end of my idea-making process or else there's a large chance I will literally forget the path that I was on halfway through. As a writer, that is a scary prospect, because what if that is the one idea that would give your universe the kick it deserves? It also feels shitty to be constantly interrupted because it genuinely makes me feel like the person doing it does not care about what I have to say, and I have to say me being interrupted so often is what made me realize I had to kick the habit a few months ago. So, I guess I came here because I love this sub and I'm genuinely curious: am I the asshole? If I am, how can I better how I handle this regular occurrence that is (quite literally) driving me a bit crazy?
TL;DR: My boyfriend interrupts me all the time, I've brought it to his attention before and his behavior hasn't changed. Am I the asshole for snapping a little at him for interrupting me while I was brainstorming for a project we are working on? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
g3SnsYe7RkYToIPg1rB0mUtEeLUmwrF7 | au5mvn | {
"description": "wanting to go no contact with my dad",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to go no contact with my dad? | My father tells me he loves me and I don't doubt that he would protect me from physical harm.
HOWEVER,
My father is against anything "out of the norm". Which has caused me to hide many things about myself from my parents (sexuality,gender) I used to question if I was trans, genderfluid, ect because ive never been overly feminine and honestly it pains me to think of myself as a girly individual. Ive also changed my name because the thought of hearing my old name made me uncomfortable and brought a lot of self-hatred towards myself.
I had started going by my new name with some close friends for 3 years before I even mentioned it to my parents...thought I would start there to see how they would react and see how open I can actually be with them. I understand that after 18 years of calling someone one name and then asking them to to change that, is quite the request. Being my new name helped me feel more confident and most friends were accepting of it. My mom tries, she really does. But my father will go out of his way when people ask ME which I prefer, to interupt before I get the chance to answer and say "it's (old name)"
Other things he does I'm not sure if it's to get under my skin or if it's just because he's an asshole.
-i was dropping off a friend at her house and he goes "I've never seen such a fat Asian" first off he didn't even take the time to look at her in a none judgemental way to see that she's infact white af, and she's really not that overweight.
- I got a text at dinner and he asked out of the blue if it was from one of my trans ftm co-workers. "Oh is that oliver? How is SHE. doing?... Me and my mom both look at him like wtf "what ITs name is Olivia right?" Hes not doing this on accident as I have explained everything to him before... This one in particular really bothered me because how would he act if I opened up to him about my gender stuff?
-when we go on trips he calls the more heavy set people in the pool "whales"
All this random shit he does gets under my skin and I don't have time for it. Would I be an asshole if I went no contact just because I don't want to deal with this anymore? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
nOHsNhm20ZxaBltHi0panKi3bQNWIE0j | axee7k | {
"description": "not inviting my ex-girlfriend on vacation with me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA For not inviting my ex-girlfriend on vacation with me? | A little backstory about out relationship:
We started dating in the summer of 2017, and dated until the end of summer 2018 when I went away to college, but we were still very close. We were on and off until A few months ago when we decided at the end of my Christmas break we would really break up.
So from mid-January to mid February we didn't talk at all, and I ended up making plans to go to Mexico with 5 of my friends (including friends from back home) for Spring Break.
About 3 weeks ago we both ended up going to the same concert, where I ended up sleeping with her afterwards. This lead to her coming up to my college for her birthday to come party and hangout, and we slept with each other again.
We talk now, and she wants to get back together, but I don't honestly. She's pretty manipulative and dependent on other people and I don't think I'm in the position to make her happy, or myself happy with her.
Everything was okay, until she invited me to go to her hometown (Like 20 hours away from my hometown) with her on her spring break. This is when I broke the news to her that I'm going to mexico with some friends already. She continued to try to get into the Mexico trip, but our AirBNB is full, and frankly my friends would rather just have me come without her. I would honestly rather go without her also because she usually needs a lot of attention and gets jealous when I'm with friends. She thinks I'm the asshole for not inviting her, and feels hurt that she even bothered to ask me to go to her hometown. She claims that "I don't want her around," and that "I never think of her, or invite her anywhere."
Am I the asshole?
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
qkjjZwGWfRZGnMvctpLZ54bh2HyWerQf | b0gz0q | {
"description": "not moving my car after lady threatened me to go see the cops",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For not moving my car after lady threatened me to go see the cops? | I am in Australia and I went to an office supply shop to get some documents printed for my MIL
​
Upon arriving I parked at a certain spot and a lady was on the phone on the car next to me and I saw her glaring at me.
Didn't think much and went to print the documents.
​
12-15 minutes later I go out and the lady is still in the car on her phone. I was thinking to myself. Doesn't she has better things to do than being on her phone in an underground car park?
​
I went in my car and contacted the imaging center to ask them when I could go drop the documents.
​
Suddenly I hard a bang. The lady banged HER car windows, glaring at me and telling me loudly and rudely that I needed to move.
I came down to ask what was happening and she told me she couldn't get out and that I was parked too close to her. She opened the door to show me and although it was a bit tight she could have easily slipped out of the door.
Upon looking at the car park lines I was well inside at least 15-20cm away from the line. I was going to move my car when she suddenly told me that I was holding her against her will and that if I didn't move she would go to the police and tell them I was doing an act of SELF IMPRISONMENT.
​
That made me angry and I just went out of the car and said to her that she could go out even though it might be a bit tight and she could also exit from the other door if she really needed to go out. And also there were a lot of empty car spaces. She could have reversed and changed spot ANYTIME.
​
I also took a photo just in case she would go and say that I was parked outside the line...
A few rude words later from her. I just waited outside and she was on the phone, either pretending or really wasting the police emergency number that could be used for so much better things \*eyeroll\*
At some point she reversed and left, not before telling me that "I am going to the cops now!". I waved her bye and went in the car and left.
​
She just waited 15 minutes to tell me that. I think she is the asshole but would like to ask what the general opinion is.
Also, would my act of not moving my car be seen as self imprisonment as there was millions of ways for her to get out of the car.
​
Thanks | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
xVCKCDHqfqGfmoH4mQ4um1q07p9WCmf4 | aqhfe3 | {
"description": "telling a friend multiple times that her dog needs more exercise",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for telling a friend multiple times that her dog needs more exercise? | So, my husband and I have a friend who adopted a second dog about 6 months ago. He seems to be settling in pretty good and he and their other dog get along fine. The big problem is this dog is a high energy one. Like, two-hours-hard-exercise-every-day high energy. She seems to think that 15 minutes of light ball chasing is enough to tire out this Mack truck. She'll toss the ball 3 times and then make the dog take a rest because he "doesn't know how to stop." She gets upset when the dog starts panting (not a hard pant, either) when someone else throws the ball for him because we're "running him too hard."
I've been around and owned power-plant dogs before. I know that 15 minutes of light activity isn't going to hurt him or wear him out. The dog is basically doing 20 ft sprints. It's very obvious that the dog isn't getting enough exercise because he's always running wild in the house. Even worse, he's a nipper when he's excited. So, we've got a super hyper dog that's bored out of his mind who also isn't nip trained.
It's gotten heated between her and us a few times because we keep telling her he needs more exercis and training. Are we the assholes here or is she just misinformed? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
ahvluGe8XPIZU8FKcCJg0epBnslsEecg | ap5bsr | {
"description": "asking my roommate to turn his games off at night",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for asking my roommate to turn his games off at night? | I live in a small...very small (10ftx15ft) dorm at university. For perspective, my roommates and my bed are less than a foot apart from one another. We get along well enough and don't really argue about anything and have fun together when we can, however, our sleep schedules seem to be a bit different.
I usually wake up around 6:30 a.m. and get ready for work/my day of classes, being careful not to wake him up (if he isn't already/hasn't gone to sleep). I go to work and do classes and don't get a chance to come back until around 4-6 in the evening. Meanwhile, he stays up all night playing video games and sleeps during the day. It wasn't much of a problem at the start of the semester because he had agreed to turn his stuff off and go to bed around the time I did so that he didn't keep me up, but he since rearranged his side of our room and turned his TV away so he could keep playing without it being in my eyes while I tried to sleep. The only problem here is since our room is so small the light from his TV still lights up the room and I find myself waking up at 4 in the morning when he is playing whatever he is playing.
Last night I confronted him about it and told him that even though he turned his TV the light still wakes me up at 4 in the morning. He got really annoyed with me and has been very standoffish since. I feel like I am an asshole here because I'm asking him to live a certain way, but I also have a job and my school to worry about and I don't want to sacrifice my sleep so he can game all night.
I don't know if this is relevant, but I think he is skipping class to sleep so he can game all night. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
lWa6HDtWRoBoS7QP29yxGbBHvwXK3rzZ | aie66x | {
"description": "not telling my bf I could feel his farts",
"pronormative_score": 251,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for not telling my bf I could feel his farts? (I’m deaf) | Background story: like I said, I’m deaf (from birth) and it means I can’t hear farts or anything like that. But however, my loss of hearing has made my other senses stronger and extra sensitive. So if someone dropped a bowl in a room next to me, I could ”feel” its sound in my body. Not sure how to explain this but anyway:
Anyway, me and my bf have been dating for like 3-4 months. He is full hearing and has never dated a deaf girl before. So every time we hung out at my place, we usually chill in my couch. It seems like he thought he could get away with farting openly, due to me being deaf and unable to hear his farts. However, I can feel the vibration of his farts on the couch.
The first time it happened, I didn’t want to embarrass him so I didn’t tell. Same reason for other times after it. But after a while, I started to find it so funny that I decided to let him believe I didn’t know.
And believe me, he farts a lot. Like a lot. Most of times, it doesn’t smell but sometimes it does smell and then he usually blames it on my dog. I know the difference between the smell of his farts and my dog’s farts but I still pretended I believed his lies.
And I didn’t tell him for months, letting him fart so much and openly, believing I didn’t know.
But yesterday, he let out such a big fart, causing a real fartquake on the couch and I got into a fit of laughter and told him. To my big surprise, he actually seemed so mortified and got so quiet after it. He didn’t end up staying at my place yesterday and I haven’t heard anything from him today. I think I did upset him but I thought he would at least find it a little funny.
Was I being an asshole? Should I have told him right away? I’m honestly surprised, I thought he would see the funny in this.
Edit:
Finally got a message from him. He is acting like nothing happened. Asked if he could swing by my place after work as usual.
Should I mention anything about the incident yesterday? Or at least try to have a easy-going talk about it? I want him to feel comfortable around me | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 100,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 151,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 251,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
BLM1DP62LFWWQmlgnvTVfZNW1kw5hMaq | a3d1oi | {
"description": "telling my boyfriend \"it's just a game\"",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my boyfriend "It's just a game"? | So yesterday, me and my boyfriend were playing League of legends together. He's fairly new to the game so he was getting quite frustrated over some of the games. On one of the games, I guess he did particularly bad and got pretty pissed afterwards (even though we won that match). He was in a pretty bad mood after that so I told him that maybe he should take a break from league for a while if it makes him this pissed off (I understand that the game is very frustrating so i usually take breaks from it if I feel like it's affecting my mood). He seemed to get kinda annoyed after I said this and abruptly said goodnight. The next day, it came up in conversation. I don't remember entirely how the conversation went, but I remember ranting about the games we played last night and me telling him "Its just a game and that you shouldn't let it get to you". After I said this, he was in a bad mood for most of the morning and was acting pretty cold and hostile towards me. We've made up now and I've apologised but I was just curious as to whether I would be considered the "asshole" in this situation. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
59BjGOZjtSlOEwDls6hNbqUUg3oXIRQa | b80f92 | {
"description": "being mad that my friends won't visit",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being mad that my friends won't visit? | Hello, FTP here and sorry for any mistakes, I'm not native english.
​
In September of last year I moved away from the city I had lived in all my life to go to university and since then only my family and two of my friends (each once) have visited me, while I often go back to the city. The country I live in is not big, so it's around 3 hours away from where I lived before, but you have to cross a bridge, which does it make it more expensive (around $45 by train, unless you plan ahead and get cheaper tickets and a bus system goes for extremely cheap).
​
I have mentioned how much this frustrates me to my friends and the general responses I get are usually that it's cheaper to just get one ticket for me to get over there, than if they had to pay for several tickets to get over to me, but I am the one who has to pay every time and as a student I don't have that kind of money.
​
On of the friends who has visited me (because he was already in the city visiting another friend) said to me, that if you're the one moving away, then you're the one who always have to take initiative and that just seems wrong to me, because friendship requires work from both sides.
​
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this and possibly some help on how to resolve it. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
v4T0vbT5dYaoXxjb0rfpJabIaroyx2Ck | 9z0c9h | {
"description": "choosing not to marry when my parents expect grandchildren",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for choosing not to marry when my parents expect grandchildren? | I am gay and my parents always talk about wanting to raise grandchildren. I’m not out to them, and I’m too scared to come out so I never will marry. Am I supposed to get conversion therapy? Thanks. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Tvz1ZqG4B0bVtg7W3WR0qiiwbJo0N9Ov | 9u2oz5 | {
"description": "making my sister pay for my old phone",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for making my sister pay for my old phone? | I bought a new phone (iPhone X) used for a good price so wanted to sell my iPhone 8+ that I bought on launch day.
I was initially going to sell it privately for the same price I bought the X for, I had a buyer who was interested but nothing was confirmed yet.
Anyway during this time, my sisters phone broke (iPhone 6), completely zonked out so I felt bad for her and said she could have my phone but I still wanted some money for it because I paid a lot for it, it’s only a year old & there’s nothing wrong with it at all.
She was fine with it, I gave her a discount obviously & we did the switch.
Now my mum thinks I’m a horrible sister for making her pay for it when I could have just given it to her for free. My sister is 18 and a student. Whilst I don’t necessarily need the money, I did buy the new phone because I knew I’d make most of the money back by selling my old phone. I didn’t want to pay so much for a new (to me) phone every year. My mum is pissed and won’t talk to me.
Bearing in mind, I pay a lot for my sister. She doesn’t have a job (refuses to get one because of uni) and is just using her student loan to buy food etc. She has a huge 0% overdraft which she didn’t touch but is now what she used to buy my phone. She wouldn’t have had a phone otherwise. My mum doesn’t give my sister any money & if she needs money, I’d be the one to give it to her. My mum also doesn’t pay for my sister when we go out, if we do, I pay for her and have done for years.
I don’t mind paying for her for these things, she’s my sister after all but i couldn’t justify giving that phone away for nothing when I could’ve got around £500 for it.
So anyway now I’m being shunned & having to hide in my room because my mum keeps making sly comments about what an awful person I am.
Should I have given it to her for free? As she’s my sister, it would’ve just been a hand me down, which is normally what happens...
TLDR; I made my sister pay for my iPhone 8+, mum is mad at me, she thinks I should’ve given it to her for free as a hand me down from big sister to little sister | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
bWXb82IfGoDrmcZPcuwJQcWAV9li9TTM | apy8rm | {
"description": "not wanting to see a play that my GF and ex-wife are both in",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | WIBTA for not wanting to see a play that my GF and ex-wife are both in? | My current GF is very into theatre. My ex-wife is also very active in the local theatre community. Up until this point it’s just been a strange coincidence but nothing more. Well, it turns out they both got parts in the same play. Would I be an asshole if I didn’t want to go see the play? For clarity, I’m completely over my ex. If I bumped into her on the street or encountered her in a store, coffee shop, etc., it wouldn’t phase me at all. But I don’t exactly want to voluntarily pay $25 to watch her traipse around on stage with my GF for 2 hours. Plus, I would more than likely run into her friends and family at the performance which would be very awkward. But on the other hand my GF is very talented and I want to support her. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
37FriFSxWIagHONRLT5Dnrht0iXZ59NI | au23wz | {
"description": "cutting my friendship to a girl who I think betrayed my trust",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I cut my friendship to a girl who I think betrayed my trust? | I (14M) had a pretty big crush on a girl in my year. We were good friends, and she was great to be around, but she was kind of hard to be friends with, sometimes acting so distant, and of course all the other kids in our year would poke fun. Finally I worked up the courage to tell her how I felt, and she turned me down pretty rudely. Over texts, we reconciled, and I was happy being friends. She said that she wouldn't tell anyone. Recently I met up with her and her best friend. We had a whole day planned. She was still acting kind of distant, but not too badly. Then suddenly she made some excuse as to why she couldn't stay for they rest of the time, ignored, then basically ditched me. As I walked away I heard her friend make a comment about me asking her out, mockingly saying how cute it was.
Tl;dr I asked a friend out, and now I feel like she's betrayed me by telling other people about it.
I still want to be friends, but I can't overlook her telling her friends about it.
Am I the asshole if I cut my friendship with her? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Llk3cpOMPyTdtBSUQ6p8kS41y8MS17Wo | apleab | null | AITA: Coworker started stealing my tables, so I tattled. | Alright so, I’ve been working at a Thai cuisine restaurant for about a month now. I’ve served before so I know what I’m doing and everyone has said that I’ve caught on fast, and I’m doing good. I have a coworker that well call Ann, that has been there in and off for years. At first we got along great. She’s actually Mexican and has a thick accent so it’s sometimes been hard to talk to her because her English is a little broke , but we made it work. I actually really liked her. She’s share cool Mexican treats with me like candy and stuff. Lately she’s been growing distant and we don’t really communicate at all anymore., which I’m sad about but if she doesn’t want to talk to me then fine. I won’t force my friendship on her it’s just work. Fast forward to today... it’s important to note we have 2 servers at a time and we take turns taking tables. So it should be EVEN. Whoever is there first gets the first table and that’s how it begins. First table comes in, I sit them, and let her know her table is there because she came in a few minutes before me. She’s doing her makeup in the bathroom... so she tells me to just take the table. Okay cool, sure. I start the tally. Next table comes in , she takes it. Next table comes in it should be mine, she takes it. I think okay, maybe it’s a mistake whatever it’s cool. Next comes in, she takes it again... i immediately meet upset because that puts her at 3 tables when I’ve only had 1 . I don’t confront her or ask what she’s doing I just immediately go tell the owner. He comes out and talks to her, she blatantly lies and tells him I’m being slow and she’s just trying to help. I’m newer so he listens to her more than me. When Ann and I are both in the server room she starts screaming at me saying “don’t ever ask me to help you ever again!!” And “you need to start speeding up if you want more tables, you are too slow!!” She’s going with her lie to make herself look better. I’m not slow. I had ONE table of two people. I can hand way more than that and still not be “slow”. I immediately start crying because I don’t get why this is happening , and I asked if I can just go home. The owner said no and he’ll stay up front and do the seating so it’s fair. Once I get caught up and he leaves, she skips me TWO more times, but now I can’t say anything because then I just look stupid.
Am I the ass hole for telling on her instead of just asking her personally? I feel bad since she got very obviously angry. And now we can’t be scheduled together anymore.
TLDR: I’m new at a restaurant , my coworker that’s been there for years kept stealing my tables, in turn I told on her straight to the manager instead of speaking to her personally. Am I the ass hole? Did I just ruin this job for myself? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
SSy4RSngFEiNrO3D8FehDCR7mQzPvlsG | ar8873 | {
"description": "wanting my neighbors evicted",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for wanting my neighbors evicted? | So I've been living in this "second chance" apartment complex in a run down part of town, in a 40 year old building that is deteriorating and pay probably twice what I should for rent. Not my neighbors' fault I have a previous eviction on my history, but it does add to the overall frustration of living here.
My neighbors live 2 doors down and are quite obnoxious. At any given moment, there are between 5-10 people in a two bedroom apartment -- So many that they live with their front door open and their life spills out into the hallway and adjacent courtyard. Their is frequently food, trash, and clothing littered outside their door. When I come home from work, sometimes there will be 4-5 small children running and screaming up and down the hallway. They only have 1-2 kids there on the weekends. So it seems like they are running an after-school care deal out of an apartment. I don't know how these adults tolerate the blood-curdling squeals of these kids. The catch is, they are quiet by 9pm, which are quiet hours. Because of this I have not made a noise complaint.
The adults fight and scream at each other occasionally, which I think is where the kids learned it from. I stayed home from work one day last week and heard a man that lived just start screaming at the top of his lungs into his cell phone, going off on somebody in a foreign language that I don't understand. I opened the front door and just said "excuse me" and he looked shocked that anybody could hear him. He promptly stopped.
To extent, I understand that we're all just people trying to scrape by and make the best of a bad situation. But frankly they are being a bunch of assholes and I could just call the cops out every time I hear somebody scream and also report that they are violating occupancy laws. Eventually the management would get tired of it and have them evicted. I generally like to stay in my lane and be empathetic toward others, but I have my limits just like anyone else.
So, AITA for being ready to do anything in my power to get my neighbors evicted? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
0RPDtA07BhNsHdA8BdpXe5nHRDYHE4a5 | b5t87j | {
"description": "pursuing a girl with a boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 38,
"contranormative_score": 248
} | AITA pursuing a girl with a boyfriend | This girl and I have been hanging out together since the beginning of the school year. She is so fun and beautiful and vibrant, and has the perfect qualities for a girlfriend. She’s modest and a little shy and totally adorable. I loved hanging out with her and she told me how great I was and how much she loved spending time with me. I was on cloud nine. I really felt like we were moving towards a relationship and developing feelings for each other. Every time she texted me and asked me to hang out, my heart would jump. I was so happy.
Then it all came crashing down when I found out she was dating a guy in our dorm. Not only that, but this guy looks JUST like me. Same race, same build, just very similar, which means I wasn’t wrong in her being attracted to me. I was totally shattered that she pursued this guy instead of me. What did he offer her that I didn’t? Why him? Why was she throwing away the wonderful thing we had brewing between us? I was hurt and stopped talking to her for a few days.
After that, I decided that I wasn’t going to let this bother me. I love her and I love our friendship and the time we spend together. I reached back out and we started hanging out again. I can tell her boyfriend doesn’t like me at all and he’s probably insecure about me, but I don’t care because I love our relationship. However, when I confessed all this to another friend, she called me creepy and threatened to tell the first girl about my feelings if I didn’t come clean or stop pursuing her. Am I the asshole for believing that there’s hope? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 243,
"OTHER": 29,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 4
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 38,
"WRONG": 248
} | WRONG |
Cx4DafCYwiLrjdw6KiDJr7gtgxv2qMsg | 9uelzz | {
"description": "breaking up over Snapchat after she refused to talk to me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for breaking up over Snapchat after she refused to talk to me? | This happened some months ago but I just discovered this Sub.
So basically, me (16M) and my ex (17F) had been together for about 5 months when I broke up. This really wasnt a good relationship as we weren’t really compatible. During those 5 months there was usually 1 week during each month where she didnt talk to me for (what i believe) petty reasons (ex: she thought I look a one of her friends cleavage, I didn’t; dark humor she didnt think was funny). After about 5 months I realized the relationship wasn’t going anywhere (this was during a week she didnt talk to me) so I decided to break up. I tried approaching her many time to talk, but she left as soon as she saw me a coming. After multiple failed attempts I decided that I wasnt going to trouble myself anymore over her and decided to break up over snapchat (as that was our main Way of communication).
When I tell other people I often get blamed that I was childish and an asshole for doing it over snapchat, even after I explain myself many still disagree. I dont think I did anything wrong as my action was a last resort. Am I an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
mskibyushH43kodF0SFMcI055wMOYigb | b57na9 | {
"description": "not switching to a smaller room for my roommates",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for not switching to a smaller room for my roommates | This isnt a particularly dramatic post, but one where I'd like other people's input.
So I've been living in a 3 bedroom apartment with only 1 other roommate (both of us 23M) and when we moved in I got the "master" bedroom which was downstairs and he got one of the 2 smaller bedrooms upstairs. The master bedroom is only bigger by about a dozen or so square feet, so nothing dramatic. The only thing that really sets it apart is its downstairs away from the main living space and away from the 3rd empty room.
He also has a girlfriend who lives with us rent free for the moment and she sleeps in his room with him.
Now we have added a 3rd roommate (21F) who will be moving in soon and she will get the room next to his.
But now he and his girlfriend have essentially demanded that we switch rooms so they get the master bedroom. They argue that since a new person is across from them their privacy will be interrupted and that since theres 2 of them they should get the bigger room.
I'm obviously opposed to this and argued back that I should get the room because I originally found the place and took care of all the paperwork and general tasks to secure it, and I'm the one who pays the bills for the place (he still pays me for his half of the rent though, I just actually write and send out the checks).
So yea again, nothing too serious but would like input regardless. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
x9sATuFborYX58ljsKR8BPGskb6iggie | b5av3z | {
"description": "not wanting to get married but sort of leading my girlfriend on",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 20
} | AITA for not wanting to get married but sort of leading my girlfriend on? | I've been together with my girl since 9th grade (about 8 years now). I know its about time we start to formalize things, get married and move together and all that but right now were both 22 years old, still in college and poor af.
This past year my girlfriend has started looking at wedding rings, dresses and talking about our future wedding and all that. I understand her message clearly that she's ready to get married but I don't want to because its not financially wise to do so.
Now I did make a mistake of telling her that I want to get married in the future (which means not now) and everytime we talk now its always about wedding stuff. She started planning everything and she's become a kind of bridezilla and I absolutely hate being around her right now. Honestly this kind of turns me off a lot and I told her that if she keeps this up I'll just break things off with her.
She's already being super creepy about the specific shade of pink she wants everyone to wear, the $800 dress every bridesmaid has to buy, about how she has to fight with my mother for flowers and cake and all that. I think its extremely unreasonable to make people pay a fortune for a dress that will only be used one time and I'm certainly not ok with her fighting with my family.
The constant wedding stuff brings unwanted and unneeded stress on top of everything going right now so AITA for telling her that? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 20
} | WRONG |
f0dOHwU3y0M943YUcgmeSwJdUqZxCwst | b8rln2 | {
"description": "telling my friend about Dumplin'",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For telling my friend about Dumplin' | If you haven't seen the movie it's about a fat girl who joins a beauty pageant. It's the only movie I've ever cried at and the message is more than just body positivity. I wanted my friend to watch it because it's a good movie , but she got kinda angry and asked if I was calling her fat. I feel bad about it but I don't know if it was ride to tell her about it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
TsArtxFiJ2FsQYTpXGlUiN2zCXtDqdPt | a2pak0 | {
"description": "being jealous of my girlfriend's new classmate",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA: For being jealous of my girlfriend's new classmate? | My girlfriend just started school and she's bonding with a new guy classmate. I was jealous at first and even had a fight with her - she went to drink with this guy at one of her mate's house and got drunk. Both of them stayed over but promised she didn't do anything.
​
I trust her and the guy (once I found out that he had his own girl - though in a different state). We recently went on a break because of the fight and didn't want to break up.
​
During the break though, she's been spending an obscenely amount of time with him. She says they're just friends but she spent the weekend going out with him till the wee hours of the damn morning and even stayed over once - they go to school together and they have the same classes.
​
AITA for being jealous and sensitive about this?
​
TL;DR: Girlfriend is spending a lot of time with her new guy classmate - weekends and stayed over. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
cojRLNvWX19sSTWizv1EwaiVPMAHvJRK | a4sct0 | {
"description": "leaving without paying",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for leaving without paying? | Some context: There is this place near my house *-the kind of store where you can buy a pack of cigarettes, some candy, pay your taxes and services, use a phone booth, or use a PC-* the clerk there always had an attitude, so it was a place I would go only if there was no other place, or if I was in a hurry.
This happen some time ago, maybe a couple years.
That day, for whatever reason, I needed to print some cards for a game with my friends. I ended up in this place and after waiting in line, asked if there was a PC avalible, if it had a printer, and if it was color. the answer to all of that was "yes". So I asked about the price. It was expensive, but I decided to do it anyway.
I asked for a PC, downloaded the files from my e-mail and started printing.
Before doing so, I checked the printer settings, and realized it was set on "Draft". I set it back to "Normal" and started printing.
If I remember correctly, They were like 10 or 15 pieces of paper. I could hear the printing at a slow peace, and at this point, the guy called me to the counter asking me if I was printing in high quality. my answer "No, Just Normal", and I got back to the PC. When I was done, I closed my e-mail and all the files, and got back to the counter waiting for the printer to finish.
The guy then gets back on me arguing I had changed the settings which I replied, again, that "I set it in Normal quality", or "It's just Normal quality" or something along the line.
The guy would have non of it, and told me the price was then X (I don't recall the numbers, but it was much higher)
I told him, while the printer was still printing, that then he could keep them, As It wasn't worth THAT much to me. I turned around and leave. Im actually pretty proud of that, and never stepped on that store again. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
XuMpjn8psKqFFgHGDqAOQk3ol1uZok0q | azw66t | {
"description": "telling at my roommate",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for telling at my roommate? | Backstory: I am a freshman in college and started talking to my roommate over the summer. During the summer we would play video games with each other and a few other people from the discord for the freshman at our school and we got along good so I asked if he wants to be roommates. During the summer he was a normal volume level when playing games, every now and then there would be a small outburst but nothing too bad.
Now to the story: Our school is starting an esports team this year and my roommate decided to try out for the overwatch team. He hadn’t played for like two months after stopping because it pissed him off A LOT. When he started practicing again he was pretty quiet at first but then he started to rage a lot. I didn’t say anything about it at first because I thought it was maybe just me overreacting but eventually I politely said “Hey man you’re yelling a lot could you try to be a little quieter from now on?”. This worked for about a week then he started yelling again so I again asked the same thing. This repeated about four times and he would always be quiet then start to yell again. I asked some of the people on my floor if they were able to hear him, because it was final exam week (only a little important to have a quiet environment to study in), and they all said yes and that it is annoying as fuck and made it hard to study. I asked them this after having to leave our room to study but even going to the floors study room I could hear him so I had to go to a whole different floor to study for my final exams. After finals we had break and I went home but because I’m on a sports floor a majority of my floor stayed over break. My roommate also stayed even though he isn’t on a team, I got back from break and all the guys on my floor said “holy fuck how do you live with your roommate he is so loud and yelled all break”. The other day when I was trying to sleep he was still playing overwatch which was no big deal until he started yelling at someone. After about ten minutes of this I lifted my head up and yelled “SHUT THE FUCK UP”. Earlier today I was complaining to my friends about how loud my roommate is and my friend showed me a text where they called him out for being too loud (they live on the floor above us and can hear him too) and he said that when I yelled the other day I hurt his feelings. So AITA for yelling at him? Ty for reading this I know it was long sorry. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
l39GkeXMd8JovifJVgklmaNyQSHhfYSD | b7d0xl | null | Aita for diaper rules | My mom, her friend and baby dropped in one time and let themselves in when I was out. Key was also for emergencies. My mom went in and went in our bedroom where my husband was sleeping, turned on the light and woke him up. I was so mad, like what if he was naked. So they left and a few days later I notice the living room smells like pee and see there's a diaper in the trash. I messaged her friend and asked her not to put diapers in the living room trash and not tell me. I prefer stinky stuff to go outside or kitchen garbage at least because it's behind a door. She just says it was just a pee diaper no big deal but it was to me. She proceeded to insult me and block instead of say sorry. I told my mom and she sided with her friend so I stopped talking to her for a few months. All they had to do was say sorry, I'm sure they didn't know and I wanted them to know for next time. I didn't make a big deal out of telling them. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
rjoZiTIfSlL4U5StZeXrbC9g7HbUKEu2 | awlnyo | {
"description": "taking advantage of my girlfriend after she cheated on me",
"pronormative_score": 117,
"contranormative_score": 133
} | AITA for taking advantage of my girlfriend after she cheated on me? |
"So I have been with this girl for nearly two years and she always checked my phone and always acted a little crazy any time i talk to any female even related to school stuff. I love her and she was great in most other ways. I legitimately planned on marrying her once i graduated college. Im not a super jealous person but im obviously not ok with her getting with other guys. I trusted her and pretty much cut out interaction with other girls for her.
Long story short, one morning i got out of bed for work and her phone was ringing (silently). I didnt think much of it...wrong number probably. I came back from the shower and she had a few texts from the same number. I opened her phone and saw 4 messages including "Damn I miss your body *girlfriend name*...when can we do it again". I was instamtly furious but i played it cool and left for work without saying a word. The next morning low and behold the texts and calls were deleted so i knew something had happened. I had had my suspicions before but this was the last straw. I took a day to think about revenge and i figured the best thing to do was to wait a week (for my birthday) and see what happened. I was probably a little hostile in this time but i tried to be cool until my birthday. I knew she was planning on buying me the newest iphone and mine was broken screen and still using the 6.
So what i did...i waited until my birthday, got my iphone 10, and the next day i sent her the pictures i'd taken of her cheating and said i wanted her out and thanks for the phone. She initially tried denying, and then apologizing, and then blaming me, and calling me a total asshole. (I never responded)
AITA Summary: Girlfriend cheated and i waited until she bought my birthday gift to break up with her | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 17,
"OTHER": 114,
"EVERYBODY": 116,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 3
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 117,
"WRONG": 133
} | WRONG |
yu7drLpGGqCbd5Z5spulyY4RofbS2ynA | afdvyh | {
"description": "playing a harmless joke on someone who forgot to log out of a school computer",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for playing a harmless joke on someone who forgot to log out of a school computer? | So a little bit of context first:
At my high school it's very common for people to mess around with people who forget to log out on the computers. Usually all that means is making a text file on the desktop, changing their background on Gmail (Windows desktop backgrounds can't be changed on these computers), rearranging desktop icons, etc. Occasionally it gets more creative, for example, once someone found an extension for Chrome that edits all of the text on every webpage you open to wook wike this (OwO). (I should probably also mention that this is a room used exclusively for Computer Science related classes, so everyone there knows how to use a computer and can disable stuff like that very easily.) The key part is that it's never malicious, like deleting files or anything. As far as I know nobody has ever had any issue with it, with one exception.
On this particular day we're at an after school club in the computer room and the guy next to me leaves the room to do something without logging out. (Just to be clear, this isn't a guy I know very well. We've talked to each other a couple times but we barely know each other.) At this point I see the opportunity and decide to mess with him a little. His computer was left on the desktop screen so I copy one of his desktop shortcuts (I don't remember which one) and spam Ctrl+V until the screen is filled (a pretty old trick, people have done this one dozens of times, but I didn't have time for creativity). All it takes to delete them is dragging the mouse to highlight all of them, then pressing Delete. No more than a couple seconds.
When he comes back and sees the screen he's furious. He raises his voice and starts yelling about how I "shouldn't do that" and that I "signed a contract" at the beginning of the year (which is true, you have to sign a contract to be allowed to use school computers, all it says is basically not to break/hack stuff). It's not like he was upset about me ruining his stuff, he was just upset on principle. He didn't end up reporting me although it seemed like he might, but he was so upset I'm really not sure if I was in the wrong. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
2QrwxxnCZWoOwXtZITtfm2cuT3pm29T0 | ajmdf8 | null | AITA | So one day at school one of my friends told me to diss a Muslim kid in my class. Me, not wanting to do this jokingly said your mom is Muslim(because his family is Muslim) at this he gets very offended, pushes me, calls me a “fucking Jew” then storms of.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
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} | WRONG |
qwbREzpYJ8o8xyhCs91mT8TEgjntXZVi | a9lfrj | {
"description": "telling my roommate she can't have sex in our dorm room",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for telling my roommate she can't have sex in our dorm room? | Our dorm situation is a single room with two beds and two desks. We also share a bathroom with another room. My roommate and I will be sharing this dorm room for the fall 2018 and spring 2019 semesters.
Before I left for winter break she asked me if she could invite some guy over so she could have sex and I told her no. Over the past couple of months, she's been going on nonstop tender dates hooking up with random people and I don't want our dorm room to be one of her new hookup spots to start inviting strangers.
The idea of having strangers over makes me afraid of getting my stuff stolen. It also really doesn't help that I'm kind of a germaphobe when it comes to things that involve nudity and the different assortments of fluids that can come from the human body (main reason I'm still a virgin, avoid relationships, and clean the bathroom before and after I use it).
She says I'm being unreasonable. I know some of my practices and beliefs can be a little extreme, but AITA in this situation. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
V91tm1ZRoB8oEhK2Elv9ALGnxtNSwYbH | agj0t3 | {
"description": "cold ghosting a \"girlfriend\" even when I made it clear this wasn't an exclusive relationship and she decides to blur the line",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for cold ghosting a "girlfriend" even when I made it clear this wasn't an exclusive relationship and she decides to blur the line? | Cindy and I have dated for a few months. I try not to be exclusive as much as I can. I make it absolutely clear with any and all of my partners. I'm a hedonist and enjoy keeping a roster of girls as long as I'm transparent about it. And yes, I'm in it mostly for the sex and intimacy and little else. I also make this absolutely clear.
Cindy texts me past midnight a few days back. She's feeling upset at something and wants to cuddle. I've got a full day and am disinclined to say yes. But I've not had some action for nearly a week. I tell her that I'm okay for a cuddle night as long as we have sex first, or at least a nice long BJ.
She refuses, calls me a pig and a sexist, and cuts the phone. I think nothing of it till the next morning when my phone is blowing up. Messages and texts telling me how she feels like I used her and that she's regretting knowing me. All over a simple request.
She then crosses my red line where she threatens to find out my "other girls" and tell them how apparently I kicked her out when she was vulnerable. Note: none of this is true, I never even met her the whole week and we only communicated through texts and phone calls.
I block Cindy for two days to give her time to cool off. She emails me on my personal email that I had shared with her sometime because of movie tickets or something. A long rant about how I emotionally used her and how if she ever finds anyone else I'm seeing, she'll personally let them know what's up.
All over a simple request from my end.
I've cold blocked her even though we "dated" for four+ months. During which it was almost purely NSA casual hanging out a couple of times a week at most.
I'm not the asshole, am I? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
tPrlyY01k8sCJ9UUdkIGNn5mUlm1S7ap | b6obgn | {
"description": "lying to my bf about how much money I have",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA lying to my bf about how much money I have? | We've been together now for close to a year. I live with my mum, I did move in with him for a while last year but it was difficult and I was constantly in debt and unable to see my friends (it's pretty long-distance), so I moved back to my mums. I've found a job that will lead me to a career I would really love, and I'm excited to start next week. Meanwhile, my boyfriend takes more and more days off work, shrugs off any advice and won't attempt to help himself, leaving him broke and unable to afford to visit me. We were planning on him visiting soon - and the whole year we have been seeing each other he has never visited my house or town a single time - but he asked if I would pay for it as he can't afford it with this month's paycheck.
I told him I could afford half, which is TECHNICALLY true - but I have neglected to mention for the past few months that I do have £100 in my savings from my mum as a 21st birthday present to get my tattoo, and I just booked it for the end of next month. The past few months I lived with him, I was fronting pretty much every date, every meal, I even ended up paying £120 in one night because I bought tickets to a West End show we had agreed to go halves on, but then I was the one left to cover it as he had no money. I came back home a few hundred into my overdraft, while he had spent the past few months buying things like a new Xbox and a tattoo and a £50 video game every month despite that he couldn't afford those things, and I couldn't use my money on anything nice for myself as I had to foot all the bills, which has left me pretty salty. I could just take the money out of my paycheck next month, but I'm worried I'll fuck up and get fired and not earn enough to cover it, and he'll be pissed if he finds out I still have that money when I told him I didn't to avoid having to spend the last chunk of my birthday money on him. Meanwhile he's still paying a ton of subscription services for things he doesn't use and I've had to cancel every direct debit except for my cheap af phone bill and prescription card.
Tl;dr AITA for wanting to spend my money on myself for once instead of for my relationship? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 19,
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} | RIGHT |
DrVL8sJJZKO8ia2eKYSsrV4YlROkL21J | ae0vdn | {
"description": "potentially ruining my boyfriend's relationship with his mother",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I potentially ruined my boyfriend's relationship with his mother? | Me (22m) and my boyfriend (23m) have been together for four years now, and for the first three and a half years of our relationship he and his mother never spoke. She had basically turned on him when he came out as gay, starting off with subtle insults and digs which came to blows and she kicked him out at 17 with nowhere to go. We were friends at this point, and all of my friends already knew I'm gay, so we got quite close and got together a couple of years later. After being kicked out, he didn't have any contact with his mother or step-father until last May, although his relationship with his father is still good.
Anyway, last July his mother messaged him out of the blue with an apology, and it was pretty decent and seemed sincere, so he decided to start talking to her again. Slowly, they started building a relationship again and even though my boyfriend was nervous about it, I could tell he was really happy to have a relationship with his mother again and I was excited for him. It came out a week or so later that she has cancer, but they caught it early and she is in treatment.
Her birthday was in September last year, and she invited my boyfriend out to her birthday meal. I didn't go, mostly because she didn't mention me in the message and we didn't want to rock the boat. They had a great time and started meeting up every couple of weeks.
I met her just before Christmas on a shopping trip with my boyfriend and his sister, and everything was good. She seemed really nice, and honestly everything seemed fine. Fast forward to Christmas Day. We spent the morning together, went to my parents' house for Christmas lunch and then to his parents' in the evening for a late dinner. I offered to help with the dishes after dinner, so it was me and his mother alone in the kitchen. Everything was fine albeit a little awkward, but then she started making little comments like "you don't look gay" (I'm a 6'4 firefighter with tattoos, quite typically manly I guess), and I laughed it off, but they started getting worse. The comments continued over the next few times I saw her (day after boxing day, NYD and yesterday), here's a list of some of them from all the occasions:
\- "don't you think you'd be better off with a woman than my son?" (he's a very feminine guy and I can tell she has a problem with that)
\- "I don't have a problem with you being gay but I wouldn't leave you around my kids" (she laughed at this one but I still think it's really offensive?)
\- uses "fag", "queer" and "homo" a lot
\- "a man like you shouldn't be taking it up the ass"
\- "I think it's disgusting but you do you"
\- "the idea of you kissing my son makes me sick"
\- "I hope he'll come to his senses and man up before you have the chance to get married"
\- "if I die with fags around my bed I'll never rest in peace"
A lot of the times she laughs off these comments like they're jokes, but I know if she said them when my boyfriend could hear he would be devastated, because she obviously hasn't changed her ways. There's been a few times she's made these comments (especially the slurs) around her husband and his son (but not my boyfriend) and it's obvious they are uncomfortable. I mentioned to her on NYD that she might want to cool it with the comments because I don't think my boyfriend would like them, and she said something along the lines of "he could do with hearing", so I don't think talking to her is an option, she clearly doesn't want to change.
My problem is, WIBTA if I told my boyfriend what's been happening and that I'm uncomfortable/upset with his mother, knowing it might cause tension in - or even end - their relationship? I know that she's obviously the asshole, but I'm worried about being one too. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
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} | RIGHT |
ELk4Gtml9qEXieyBhspAAV30Ap1N1oJc | b1q21i | {
"description": "stopping talking to my long time friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I stopped talking to my long time friend? | So this friend and I have been friends for roughly 10 years now. We were never super close but they've always been super open with me and always come to me when they need an unbiased person to talk to. I had fallen out of touch with them for a while but we reconnected last year when we found out our friend was dying. After the funeral, they had a really hard time coping, especially since they had been really close to our late friend. A couple of friends and I tried to be there for them, but it was really hard because we were also grieving. Although I know people grieve in different ways and for different lengths of time, I don't know what else to do. That was almost a year ago, but it doesn't seem that they're doing much better. Whenever I spend time with them, they start complaining about their lives and they eventually bring up our old friend and how hard our was to lose them. I didn't mind it as much, since I've always been more of a listener, but after a while I realized I can never talk to them about what I'm going through either. When our friend passed away, I was the one comforting them but never once did they do the same for me. I brought this point up recently, but they told me that I didn't need much comforting anyways since I wasn't as close to them as they were. It was really upsetting to hear them say this because, although I may have not known our friend for as long them, I had still been their friend too. I'm not sure if they said this because they're still grieving, or if they meant it, but after this I realized I was done with being friends with them. So, WIBTA if I just stopped talking to this friend? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
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} | RIGHT |
UDJ2RRiD63wlIfYVPWCmL2gs0uIYj4X9 | ao6pkn | {
"description": "being angry at my nations immigration, social services, and how pathetic my life is",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA For being angry at my nations immigration, social services, and how pathetic My life is. | I really don’t want this to be a sob story or for people to start calling me a racist I have very little in terms of moral navigation other than fucking with people online(see baiting) as a means of venting
I must also apologise for my poor grammar I have dyslexia and have had no formal education since the age of 14
Il start with some background
I have been an orphan since I was 14 in which I dropped out of school and had a great deal of mental heath problems and issues with the police I moved from foster home to foster home for those two years until Things started to take a turn when I started living in a hostel at the age of 16 a very well funded place in a nice area of my local area I was quite happy
Fast forward a bit I am now 21 I have been doing some stuff to getting myself sorted out I have gone to evening classes to finish of my school education I have done volunteering work (I am unable to work due to the benefits system cutting off my rent and making me effectively homeless) while also looking to start an access course to start university
Over the years I have had no friends, none to talk to but psychologist, of whome I distrust greatly I have been alone a lot and I won’t deny it has affected my outlook on things I for a while would be described by myself(at my current age)as a nazi when I was 19
Never the less my politics have always been on the right and my issue of why I am coming here for moral guidance
I had taken an interest in Jordan Peterson due to his self help and self improvement doctraine telling a key worker(somone that works at my hostel) I had saved up for tickets, this has led to a form of anti terrorism police coming to speak with me about if I am radicalised and so on
This amplified an anger I have already had towards the state of things as I have met more immigrants than those that were born in this country while also being told non stop that social services and housing has no funding (which is the reasoning behind me living in a hostel at the age of 21) this is further an issue as I have met two such people immigrants that have got there own housing
I had always managed to remain calm about this as I kept my distance and kept to myself
Recently I have had a new flat mate from Ethiopia nation that the government of my country does not recognise as unstable
Tensions have flared up with my issues of him throwing my cutlery (to which I have quite a large amount after living in a shithole for 3 years) all over the kitchen I made the comment toward one of he workers at the hostel that he (my flat mate)thinks he is still in his shithole and not a civilised world to which he now lives in
I was called a racist which was perhaps the straw that broke the camels back I verbally assisted the worked at the hostel
The details are more complex and I am unable to word than coherently but this is the sum issue
I am angry about the fact that the country I live in takes economic immigrants in and shits on the people who were born here
And the further fact that I am trying to get a solicitor to write a letter to the authority over my write to housing which will cost me around 750£ which I can not afford
I would just like some moral guidance on where I stand and so on unless the mods delete this post for racism or some shit | HISTORICAL | {
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"EVERYBODY": 3,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
SH64e2Mo3py1zfoB7BM41C8DTOnpvSMK | ab3ins | {
"description": "not attending my ex-boyfriend's dad's funeral",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not attending my ex-boyfriend's dad's funeral? | My ex (we'll call him T) and I have a complicated relationship. We dated for about a year and broke up last May. After our break-up, we both acted like assholes. I kept being really indecisive about getting back together, and he threatened to kill himself several times if I didn't. There was a lot of fighting between us for a while. Ultimately we didn't get back together, but have remained friends. However, he's stated that he still has feelings for me.
T's father suffered from cancer, and he didn't really talk to many people about it. Even after our break-up, I remained the confidant about his father's condition because T didn't feel comfortable talking to others about it. A couple days ago, T's father passed away. We FaceTimed after it happened and I comforted him about it.
Yesterday, T asked me if I would fly out for the funeral. He even offered to pay for my plane ticket. But I've never actually met his father, and I only met his mother once. I would have stayed at his house if I visited for the funeral. He said he needed my support during this time, which is why he wanted me there. I declined, and said I felt uncomfortable intruding on his family's space during this time. While I didn't say this to him, I also felt as if he was taking advantage of this situation to try and get back together with me. Additionally, I would have to fly across the country, and the logistics were messy.
T was very angry that I declined, and told me that I wasn't being a good friend for not being with him in his time of need. He said if I actually cared and wanted to be his friend, I would've accepted the offer. AITA for not wanting to go?
​
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
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} | RIGHT |
3cLAYqWd8fmveWcSZjFlYUkSLkhhPNqN | b6dnow | {
"description": "wanting my stay at home girlfriend to accept a job she was offered",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for wanting my stay at home girlfriend to accept a job she was offered? | Throwaway because I’m not sure if she follows this sub.
So my girlfriend and I have been living together for a few years. For most of that time she’s been working part-time from home. She suffers from anxiety and depression and her mental health took a real hit when her dad passed away 2 years ago. Unfortunately a few months ago she was laid off from her work from home job. Since she has an advanced degree in English she decided to take a stab at freelance writing. For 3 months she hasn’t made a penny because she’s been working on her novel rather than submitting resumes and short articles to websites and publications which is what we both agreed she should focus on. I have a 12yo son who lives with me full time (not hers) and we live in an area with a high cost of living so even though I make okay money, things are stretched pretty tight to the point where we have very little if any disposable cash.
Three days ago an acquaintance of hers offered her a full time tech support job making pretty decent money. Like instantly solve all of our financial problems type money. She doesn’t want to take it because she’s an introvert and talking on the phone all day sounds like her idea of hell.
She keeps asking if I think she should take it and I don’t want to push her into doing something she doesn’t want to, but it would really take the financial pressure off me. She keeps saying, “I know you want me to take it,” even though I’ve been adamant that it’s her decision and I will love and support her either way. Today I splurged on a $30 item and she said that I did it to tell her to go back to work. It honestly feels like she wants me to push her into it so that she can blame it on me when she hates the job.
I finally said: If you’re going to take the job, then you need to own that choice. You can’t be miserable and blame me because I made you do it. If you don’t take the job, then you need to own that choice too. You don’t get to make me feel bad about money problems when you have the power to fix them and choose not to. This decision is yours and the consequences are also yours. I will love you and help you either way but you cannot put it on me. That’s not fair.
It’s not like she can’t keep writing if she takes the job. Somehow she’s convinced herself that it’s all or nothing and now she’s crying.
Am I the asshole here?
TLDR; stay at home girlfriend was offered a job that would help a lot but doesn’t want to take it | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
vhVSqUN4AhLWFk5BmcwNZ7BzXJ9fJbxJ | aa9tzm | {
"description": "trying to hookup/start a thing with a friend, then stopping once she sent nudes because her body wasn't what I had expected",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for trying to hookup/start a thing with a friend, then stopping once she sent nudes because her body wasn’t what I had expected? | 19M here, worked with this girl for 2 years in a boring min wage job so we talked a lot, became solid friends, and maintained that friendship even though neither of us still work there. We recently met up in person for the first time in while and there was attraction that I felt was mutual, so I later asked her about it and she was on the fence about it, saying she did feel something, but didn’t want to risk the friendship. We talked about it for a couple days and I told her I was willing to do it if she was, and she decided to give it a try. We went out for drinks and nothing really happened, we made out for a pretty short time before she left, and I took it as a sign she wasn’t comfortable with it and left her alone. The next night she snap chatted me in the bath and started being very flirty and provocative, and I asked her what was up, she said it was weird at first but now that she’s thought about it she’s more into it. I’m a dumb and horny teenage boy so despite me having realized that I wasn’t that into her and was more thirsty in general during this time I flirted back and she eventually sent me a full body nude in her mirror. Her body was very different from what I had expected and what she looked like in clothing. Essentially her breasts were much smaller than I though and she had a much heftier body all around. This larger body type just doesn’t appeal to me and it caught me off guard, but in retrospect she wore very baggy clothes at most times so I see where my misperception came from. After this I told her it felt weird now having seen her nude and went to bed, the next day she told me that she felt I took advantage of her and persuaded her into sending nudes by pretending to be interested when I wasn’t, so I told her the truth about my lack of attraction but in a somewhat indirect way. Now we haven’t spoken in a few days and have realized I may be the asshole here. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
A0R7jgRYtqVqNAzedddGwQ9OzPvkjNXi | aje4w3 | {
"description": "constantly nagging my roommate",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for constantly nagging my roommate? | TL;DR: Moved in with a roommate who eats my stuff and is messy. I left her a note about it and she left me one calling me "rude and disrespectful".
I am 20F and recently moved into my first apartment. I have definitely carried over some of the expectations I had about living with family members, and don't know if I have gone too far.
My roommate Maggie and I were strangers before she moved in. I allowed her to use my dishes, appliances (fridge, stove, washer, dryer), pots and pans freely. Almost immediately she began eating my food and letting dishes pile up. She would also get up in the middle of the night to eat and would make a lot of noise. I called her out at once for all these things. She mostly ate only the staples I had, but I noticed she used my ketchup, oil, pasta, salt, pepper and popcorn. Not a big deal but I asked if in the future she would at least ask me before using my things. She agreed to this, but never ended up asking me.
As the weeks went by, she continued not pulling her weight around the house and I called her out many times, sometimes a bit rudely, about the following things:
\- Eating my food
\- Not doing her dishes
\- Smoking pot inside (we had both signed a waiver saying we wouldn't smoke inside)
\- Removing the plastic from her window (results in high electricity costs)
\- Paying rent and utilities over a week late
\- Pooping in our only toilet and not cleaning it up once when we were out of water
\- Leaving trash bags outside on days it wouldn't be picked up (we could be fined $300 for that)
She always apologized and said she would stop, (although she lied to me and said she didn't smoke. I can smell the pot from every room in the house).
Recently she changed her phone number and didn't give me the new one. She didn't like me knocking on her door (she's in there 24/7). So a couple days ago I left her a note. I asked how she was doing and if she wouldn't mind wiping down the stove when she was done because she left it oily. I mentioned a few other house-keeping related things and asked for her new number. I have confirmed with friends that my note isn't hostile whatsoever. When she found it, she crumpled it up and wrote me one where she said she would rather not give me her phone number, because quote "You're rude and disrespectful. You have the mood pattern of an autistic child who needs a fucking nap. I'm sick of your shit and I don't need you blowing up my phone with dumb bullshit, disrespect and negativity." I am shocked because the few times I have talked to her face to face we have been nice to each other. After leaving her note out, she went and ate more of my popcorn. I have been living with my boyfriend ever since and am scared to return. But is she the right one in this case? Did I push things too far by constantly nagging her? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 5,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
cjicGSTYwUQps6NM6AQncWdeM7JOfmP4 | 9w1b89 | {
"description": "getting mad at someone for ghosting me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting mad at someone for ghosting me? | (Sorry in advance for formatting, I’m on mobile)
So let’s get started. During summer vacation when I was 13, I went to a summer day camp. It was fun and I made some friends but there was this one girl I really clicked with. She was a year older than me, but it wasn’t a big deal.
We could joke about anything, and we would constantly tell each other our weirdest pickup lines. It was a week long camp, and on the second day, we were sitting next to each other and she grabbed my inner thigh quite far up my leg. She said “when she grabs your inner thigh” and started laughing. I laughed to, thinking nothing of it.
Third day, and we were talking and I told her I liked her. She said she liked me to. She said she wanted to make out, so we went to go do it (I had never done it before), and right before she went to kiss me, she freaked out. She said she wasn’t ready for a relationship. I said ok. It was her last day at the camp, and apparently she felt bad for messing with me and cried in the bathroom afterwards.
We had exchanged numbers, and we would still occasionally text. She said we could be friends and would see how it went from there. I would text her asking if she wanted to hang out, she wouldn’t respond. We would have a five minute conversation every couple months.
Nearly a year later, I was fed up. I told her I might as well delete her number, since it seemed that she had no interest in being friends. She said she wanted to hang out. I said I was free for the next 4 days, she says she’ll go ask her mum if/when she could hang out.
Two hours later, she texts me saying I have a wrong number. I ask if it’s her, she says yes. I say it’s u/SpyTrain_from_Canada, she says she doesn’t know a u/SpyTrain_from_Canada. I again ask if it her, by her full name. She admits she remembers me and just wanted to get rid of me.
I called her a terrible person, and deleted her contact.
I fell like I acted like an incel or something. AITA?
(Sorry for being so long winded). | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
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} | RIGHT |
l96l5Vh9SO8QMCzRVftDmk018JeokwVI | a43d81 | {
"description": "wanting to re-home my moms dog",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to re-home my moms dog? | Back story: 9 months ago my mother had some severe health issues and landed in the ICU for two weeks. Because she was sick and couldn’t work, she shortly afterwards became homeless. My husband and I offered to foster her dog for three months while she got back on her feet. We live in a studio apartment with our own dog and one cat. Now mind you, my mother’s dog is an extremely overweight lab/mastiff breed. When we took him on he easily weighed 275lbs and could hardly move. Fast forward 3 months and he’s been on weight loss foods, been to the vet and even lost enough weight he can run and jump. His three months was up and my mom was no where to be found. She didn’t come to collect him, kept ignoring our calls and eventually said if she came to get him, he would go to the pound because she was still homeless and had no permanent home. Naturally we didn’t want this to happen to the dog so he stayed with us for another 3 months. Loosing more weight and regaining his mobility. By now he’s become a distant member of our little family and all is good. The 6 month period rolls around and once again, my mother dodges calls. Avoids situations that might involve her dog and ignores us. Fast forward to the 9 month mark and he’s still here. But so is my mom now. I’m sure you can imagine the chaos of three adults, two large dogs and one cat in a studio apartment. She ended up on the streets again and winter is fast approaching so we told her she could stay temporarily. This also meant that she needed to take on the daily responsibilities for her dog, something that has been communicated to her multiple times. I’m currently 3 months pregnant, very ill with morning sickness and I’m still taking care of him because she refuses. My husband and I still feed and water him, take him outside, bathe him and brush him. All the while she’s been here, refusing to do any of it and sleeping all day or going out with her friends. My husband and I will be moving shortly and both them will have to leave then too. I’m concerned my mother won’t take her dog when we leave and because of her lack of responsibility for him in the last month I’m considering re-homing the dog. Does this make me an asshole?
Edit to add: This is not the first time she has abandoned a dog. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 16,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 16,
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} | RIGHT |
w1Xdlm6mVnUtlKR8kQofC6hEgifMr8HN | aj2e6x | {
"description": "staying friends with someone",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for staying friends with someone? | I have this friend who I’ve known for about four years now. Let’s call her Ra. Ra was always kinda weird. Didn’t have many friends, but I was one of her friends. We hung out a lot and laughed a lot. But one thing about Ra is that she is a big asshole to a lot of people.
I have another friend who I met a year after meeting Ra. Let’s call this friend M. So Ra does not like M at all. Ra hates her guts. Ra always told me I should stop being friends with M. But you see there wasn’t much reason to why Ra wanted me to stop hanging out with M.
Now some of Ra’s reasons where just. M used to be kinda weird and would touch me and do some weird things but other than that M didn’t do anything bad.
I think Ra hated M because she was “cringe.” When I say cringe I mean more so the version where someone is obsessed with Undertale and makes a bunch of MarySue original characters. So to put things lightly Ra really disliked M.
We’re in high school now, tenth grade. Our school performs our musical in the fall so to start early we start rehearsing late summer. I tried out and didn’t get a role but Ra did. I didn’t mind at first, but then I decided to quit because the fee for our musicals was too much for my family and I didn’t want to make them pay that much money for me to be a male background in Legally Blonde the Musical.
After I quit musical I was told by another friend of mine who I’ll call Sy, that Ra was talking a bunch of shit about me. Saying generally rude stuff. So of course I messaged Ra about this because we’re friends. We hadn’t talked much in the recent months but I still thought it was odd she would say such rude things about her friend.
Ra never messaged me back. I sent her a message almost everyday asking what was up and why she wouldn’t message me back. I stopped after about a week because I knew Ra was probably in a mood like she would get into sometimes. But then when the school year started things got worse
I found out at the beginning of the year from a friend I’ll call Mike that Ra had said she did not plan to be my friend anymore because “Ryker hangs out with M.” I thought this was ridiculous. Of course Ra had always been really controlling and seemed to want me to only be friends with her and anyone she deemed fitting but it still seemed odd.
I messaged Ra about it and this time she read it. But she left me on read.
After that she decides to go around telling my friends that my mom steals things. How she “knows” this? Her brother tells her. My mother gets medicine from a doctor at a pharmacy/drug store across the street from our house everyday and apparently her brother who works there has seen my mom steal. But the thing is, the store has a policy where employees aren’t supposed to talk about customers and what they do outside of work. So of course my mom talks to the manager and the guy gets in trouble a few times for talking about it. Ra seemed really angry at me for getting her brother in trouble.
At this point I am really done with Ra. She has been really mean to me all this time and mostly it’s because I want to stay friends with M. In a way she acts like I’m an asshole who abandoned her, and in a way she really does think that. When talking to Mike he told me that Ra had told him once over text that it wasn’t fair that I left her because I had someone else to go to but she didn’t.
So my question is this: Am I the asshole for staying friends with M who has never been controlling over me instead of leaving M to be with controlling R? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
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} | RIGHT |
hHOZRBGWZJlrJtQ1uf9CRygLlrFGUdgg | amy4hq | {
"description": "getting upset a very close friend didn't tell me they were in an accident",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA for getting upset a very close friend didn't tell me they were in an accident? | My ex was hit by a car on his motorcycle a few months ago. He doesn't have any family; I still love him and considered myself to be one of his closest friends. He very easily could have died, and when he got to the hospital, he posted on his snap story that he was hit. At this point, I had no idea what was going on; he seemed super out of it and I didn't know his condition at all or any details. I immediately threw up and couldn't stop crying. He never called me and when I asked him over text what happened he just said he was going in for scans. Before this, I would have assumed I would have been his go-to person for getting picked up from the hospital. Or at least to have someone there because I would be fucking terrified to be alone if it was me. I called my dad and he told me to call him my ex. I said I didn't want to do that since he didn't even tell me himself and I knew he wouldn't want a big scene.
A few weeks later, it came up in conversation and I admitted to my ex how it was upsetting to find out through his snapchat story that he was in an accident. My thinking was, if he was able to post to that, why couldn't he send me a quick text saying he was okay. If I'm being completely honest, it was a fucking blow, like I didn't even mean anything to him to be worth a fucking text to know he was okay. I originally wrote it off as him having his priorities scrambled, but when it came up in conversation he said I made his accident about me and it was the most selfish thing he's heard anyone say. He keeps saying I should see it from his point of view; I knew he didn't want me to show up so I didn't and I didn't call him either, so I thought I was respecting him and what he wanted. I really wanted to go see him, but I didn't because I knew he wouldn't want someone fussing over him. He won't talk to me anymore because it was so selfish and immature of me he said; I'm heartbroken and I'm trying to see it from his point of view. He won't seem to see it from mine. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 13
} | WRONG |
jzgTcDNvGmMxpFHtWNUVBbfRA0dj1jW7 | 9xtpf6 | {
"description": "approaching this sketchy vehicle idling outside my house and saying get the fuck out",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for approaching this sketchy vehicle idling outside my house and saying get the fuck out | It’s 11:35pm quiet no traffic suburban neighborhood I’m 22 yrs old former drug addict so I am pretty in tune with what looks like a shady situation when I see it. I was letting my dog out and all of a sudden this beater car going super slow pulls slightly off the road and onto my neighbors lawn. He drives off of the lawn and back onto the road(didnt look very in control of the vehicle but he was going slow so it looked very odd). He goes down a cul-de-sac which is all in full view of where I’m standing. He turns around then slowly comes back up the roar and comes to a stop at a stop sign(now facing me directly, about 20yrds away) and he flips off his headlights, no interior lights on. He idles there for about 10 mins while I stand there lookin at him and hit my ecig. The whole time my dog stands there growling. I walk inside for a min and when I come back out the guy flips his lights on and turns around to do another slow loop around the aforementioned cup-de-sac. Once again he comes to a stop at the same location and flips his lights off and lets the car idle. I’m weirded out at this point and kind of raised my arms up with palms turned up in a “what???” gesture expecting them to drive off or ask me what’s up. I start walking towards the edge of my front lawn just to lock eyes with the person and do one more gesture. They said this time “Yo what’s up sorry I’m about to head out” and I said you’re looking sketchy as hell get the fuck out and they drove off no headlights goin super slow | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
a7ASml7Uxo19IkVzbThjDyAFJ8pCc0Oi | ap8act | {
"description": "telling my gf she can't go clubbing without me if she wants to stay together",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 18
} | AITA for telling my gf she can’t go clubbing without me if she wants to stay together | Since the start of my relationship I told her I did not want to be with a girl who likes to go clubbing/partying. Yesterday all of a sudden she started arguing while we were parked in my car that ‘I don’t trust her’ and ‘I’m being too controlling’ and even pointed out a scenario where her roommate who is in a relationship was talking to a guy at the club and he went for a kiss which she denied. This just further proved my point, why would I want my girlfriend getting dressed up without me to go out where guys are going to approach you and try to hook up with you, even if she doesn’t cheat. I don’t think I’m being unfair, idc if she goes out to a club if I’m there, she can hang out anytime she wants with her friends, she can even go to a bar if she wants to drink but clubs are a no go for me and I let her know that in the beginning of the relationship. And before anybody calls me controlling, she can go if she wants to be single, I’m not her dad, but I have the right to choose who I will date too.
She left the parked car angrily last night and said I can follow her if I wanted to back up to her place, and I just turned on the car and went back home. This morning she texted me apologizing and saying that I was right, I let her know this in the beginning of the relationship, and it’s not worth losing me. I got what I wanted but I feel like a real asshole for some reason. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 16,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 18
} | WRONG |
HNhNgSFwfuOomIuWYotClq0KJp0mvkwe | 9xg1q3 | {
"description": "losing a friend who moved overseas",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA by losing a friend who moved overseas? | TL;DR A friend of mine moving overseas fell in love with me, I made it seem like I was also into it, started dating someone else, and slowly stopped talking to my friend.
Long wall of text incoming
Last year, I (27M) moved to a large metropolitan area, knowing virtually no one there. I got a job working on a team of eight, including a girl that I'll call Laura. Laura is cute, not really my type, but we have a lot in common including an affinity for our hometown sports team. We spend a lot of time together going to happy hours with coworkers, playing board games, generally being friends- certainly nothing romantic.
Fast forward five months and we start chatting a bit more often, frequently about more and more intimate things. Because we work together, we still deny any feelings starting to develop. The next month, she finds out she's moving overseas. She quits her job, but before she quits, I do some pretty sizable farewell gestures, including planning a going away party. At this point, it's clear we definitely have feelings for one another and, because she's no longer part of our org, we start making out and eventually hook up a couple times. Because she's going overseas for a few years, we have a long discussion that I shouldn't wait for her and that if we start to date other people, it's ok.
Laura moves overseas to a place where she knows absolutely no one. She helps me apply for her job, which I get. We text NONSTOP. We send each other dirty pics, talk often on the phone, tell each other we love one another. She meets a few local people but still doesn't have all that many people. Meanwhile I'm continuing to make friends in the city I live in, meet new people, generally continue on with my life.
In August, about five months from when she left, I met this girl (Nicole) that I fell absolutely head over heels for. Because I was interested in cultivating this new relationship, I started to spend more time with Nicole and less time talking to Laura. I don't want to upset Laura with the development of a new relationship, so I don't tell her about Nicole, especially if it doesn't work out. Laura seems to notice something's off, and asks me about it- I tell her everything is fine. We continue to chat, though at a lighter rate; I read her texts and don't respond right away like I used to. In my mind, it now feels like I'm in two relationships.
I decide to tell Laura that I'm seeing Nicole to help explain why I'm being so distant. I text her (probably the bad move) and tell her that I'm seeing someone and want to talk to her about it. She says ok, we can talk on the phone after I'm out of work. After I get out of work, I give Laura a call. Laura is furious at me, saying I destroyed her trust, ruined our friendship, that I'm a pussy for not telling her about Nicole sooner. She says she no longer wants to talk to me until I think about the situation and apologize. I say ok and hang up.
In about a week, I send Laura a long email apologizing for hiding my relationship from her and being so distant. We talk for a while and she agrees to start talking to me again under one condition: If I start getting distant again, she's going to stop talking to me for good. I say ok and hang up.
Fast forward a few weeks and we're still chatting a bit but this time I notice her getting a bit more distant. Short answers, curt responses, no longer continuing conversations. I figure she no longer wants to talk and stop talking. She doesn't resume conversation. That was the last time I talked to her- she's now blocked me on all social media, blocked my number, and told other friends of ours about the situation, essentially turning those friends against me.
On one hand, I understand why she's mad at me- I basically continued a relationship with her after she moved and didn't address the issue when something else came up. On the other hand, she chose to move away, understood I wouldn't wait to be in a relationship with her longterm, and didn't bring it up further when it seemed like I was pulling away. So the real question is- am I an asshole or is this just an unfortunate circumstance in which I lose a good friend of mine? Any advice would be great here. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
} | WRONG |
pMtWbnKhZzHkwepIl5OhJTSTzohMsvrE | afr2yv | {
"description": "calling out a toxic crush",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For calling out a toxic crush? | Here’s the context : So i am currently crushing on some dude( lets call him Patrick) and it started when I was sitting across from him in one of my classes. He was, in my eyes, super funny, athletic, clever, and not to mention good looking,
to me at least. I gave him my number for a project we were doing that involved our whole table, including me, him, and a friend (lets call her Beatrice). He texted me later that same night asking for audio for the project. I said I couldn’t but he told me how to like I was some idiot “record it on your phone.” After i had told him I couldn’t. Overall he seemed like a brick wall to talk to over messages.
After i went out of my way to record in my room, even getting yelled at by my mom, i sent the audio. He didn’t reply. After a while I told Beatrice and two other friends about my feelings for him. (Lets call them Emily and Liza). After a while of me drooling over him in secret with my friends I finally messaged him again. It went something like this: “hey, did we have homework for Mrs ———-?” “The notes.”. And for a while that was how I talked to him. Passively asking for the homework that I knew i had done.
After about 2 weeks, Patrick stopped replying all together. I told this to Liza and she tells me that Patrick said he was going to block my number after the project. He didn’t tell me it to my face, he only to Liza. I was pissed but I told myself I didn’t have all the details and that maybe he was just joking.
After a couple of weeks, I was spending the afternoon at Emily’s place. She mentioned that Patrick had put his hand on the arm rest and she felt so uncomfortable that she had to swirl her chair around to break his grasp. (Me and Emily were both crushing on different people and vouching for each other) I’m heartbroken. Then at Lunch I brought up that I overheard Patrick talking to the teacher about his project for our final grade. Liza said she already knew because he had brought it up when talking to her (she said she ignored him at first and he just started talking to her.). I was super mad, even though I had not right to be.
Today i messaged him on Kik for the first time, the message goes as follows : “Hi. I noticed you have a Kik which is pretty cool. I like ur profile pic, the doggo is smol. Congrats on getting into the History Day thing, Liza told me. The French Revolution is a pretty cool revolution. She also told me that you said you were going to block my number(this was after the project and after we switched seats). Yea..you could’ve told me, I wouldn’t have minded all that much and I wouldn’t have bothered you with the homework thing, I didn’t have Beatrice’s number. You can keep my number blocked if ya want to, its your phone anyways. So yeet. I just wanted to let you know. Hope this doesn’t make things awkward. See ya tomorrow.” . Its been hours and he still hasn’t replied. Am I the Asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
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