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he presses me back against the cushion , his hands grasping my waist over the blanket and quickly moving up and over my breasts .
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i arch my back into him , wanting to feel him against me ... feel him everywhere .
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`` you guys home ? ''
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nate jumps away as we hear my mom 's voice from the foyer .
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he takes a deep breath and then runs his hand through his hair before responding .
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`` we 're in the den ! ''
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he calls back , then turns to me .
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`` tonight , '' he murmurs , his eyes burning with promise .
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chapter twenty `` are you ok , brynn ? ''
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my mom asks me , frowning .
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`` yeah , i 'm fine , '' i reply lightly as i use my napkin to try to clean the tomato sauce off my shirt where i 've just spilled it .
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nate 's promise of an evening rendezvous has left me clumsy and distracted throughout dinner .
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i had just finished cleaning up the glass of water i knocked off the table when i dropped a piece of chicken off my fork and onto my shirt .
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`` sorry i could n't make it today , guys , '' pierce says .
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`` looks like you could have used some more supervision .
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nate should n't have taken you on any dangerous trails . ''
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`` oh , it was n't dangerous , '' i rush to nate 's defense .
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`` he was trying to teach me how to spot poison ivy , actually , and i walked right off the trail .
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i did n't realize how close i was to the edge and the ground just gave way under me .
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it was all my fault .
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he was the one who pulled me back up and taped my ankle . ''
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`` well , it could n't hurt to get it looked at by a doctor on monday , '' my mom points out .
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`` i think it 'll be fine , really , '' i insist .
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`` anyone want dessert ? ''
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my mom asks .
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`` no , thanks , '' nate and i both respond at the same time .
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i bite my lip to keep from laughing .
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`` what 's so amusing ? ''
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pierce asks , looking at his son , his voice dangerously quiet .
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`` inside joke , '' i reply quickly .
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`` i 'll help you clear the table , mom . ''
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we both stand and grab a couple plates and head into the kitchen .
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as soon as the swinging door shuts behind me , i hear pierce 's voice .
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even though his words are muffled , i can tell by his tone that he 's berating nate for something .
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i look at my mom .
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she turns on the water and begins rinsing off the plates before putting them into the dishwasher .
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`` is it ok with you that he talks to nate like that ? ''
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`` it 's between the two of them , '' my mom replies quietly without looking up at me .
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i feel anger surge inside me .
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`` you keep trying to make us a family , but then you wo n't get involved in their relationship .
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you ca n't have it both ways . ''
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before she can reply , i spin back around and into the dining room .
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pierce breaks off abruptly as i enter the room , and i quickly clear the rest of the dishes before limping upstairs to my room .
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i take a deep breath as i close my bedroom door behind me .
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i do n't want to have this night ruined by my anger at my mom and pierce .
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i head into the bathroom and turn on my shower .
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i still have n't had a chance to wash off the sweat from our kayaking and hiking trip today , and i want to smell like a rose tonight .
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my body tingles in anticipation as i peel off my shirt and shorts .
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i glance down at my wrapped ankle , wondering if it 's ok to get wet .
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probably fine .
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i pull off my sports bra and underwear and then study myself in the mirror , running my hands over my breasts and then across my stomach .
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nate 's already seen me naked , i remind myself , as nerves surge up in my stomach .
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and i already know he likes me .
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it will be ok .
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i step under the hot stream of water and take my time washing my hair .
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as the conditioner sets , i shave my legs and my bikini line , going a little bit narrower than i would normally .
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i know that a lot of girls at college go completely bare , but i ca n't bring myself to go that far .
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i turn off the water and towel myself off , then part my hair in the middle and let it air dry .
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i pull a pair of cotton pajama bottoms and a camisole from my bureau and put them on .
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i 'm not sure if that 's sexy or not , but i 'm trying not to overthink it .
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i 'm certainly not succeeding , but i am trying .
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i head over to my computer and sit down .
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i know that nate will probably wait for our parents to go to bed before he does anything , so i 've got a couple of hours to go at least .
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i begin to click around the internet , but i 'm not able to absorb myself in anything .
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i keep wondering what 's going to happen tonight .
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i do n't want to get my hopes up , but i think i have an idea .
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or at least , i know what i want to happen .
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i finally decide to play some mindless tv on hulu , and settle back in my chair .
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`` goodnight , brynn ! ''
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i finally hear my mom call as she heads up to the third floor .
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i freeze .
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`` goodnight ! ''
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i call back , and immediately begin pulling at the ends of my hair .
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i keep watching tv until i hear pierce heading upstairs , too , then quickly close my computer and hurry into the bathroom , wincing as i put too much weight on my right ankle .
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i run my fingers through my hair and decide i should brush my teeth .
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just as i 'm putting my toothbrush back down , i hear a soft knock at my door .
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my heart jumps in my chest .
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i walk back into my bedroom just in time to see the door open and nate stick his head in .
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`` hi , '' i murmur .
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`` hi , '' he replies , taking a couple more steps in and closing the door behind him .
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i smile at him nervously .
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i suddenly have no idea what to say-the usual ease of conversation between us is replaced with jittery nerves and excitement .
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his appearance right now is n't helping matters .
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he 's barefoot , and wearing jeans and a v-neck white t-shirt .
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he looks impossibly , effortlessly sexy .
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`` i ca n't remember the last time i was nervous with a woman , '' he finally says .
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`` oh , well ... good .
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i 'm nervous , too , i mean . ''
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he smiles and begins to walk slowly toward me .
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`` i want to do everything with you , brynn .
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the idea of being the first one to show you ... everything ... '' he takes a deep breath .
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`` but i 'm going to go slowly .
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you have to tell me if i 'm ever moving too quickly , alright ?
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it 's going to be hard for me not to get caught up in the moment . ''
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i nod and realize that i 've been holding my breath while he 's been talking .
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he stops just in front of me and wraps his arms around my waist , then leans his head forward until his forehead rests against mine .
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`` come to bed , '' he whispers .
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a thrill of pleasure runs through me .
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`` you do n't know how long i 've wanted to hear you say that . ''
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he grins widely and presses his lips against mine .
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