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`` stop following me . | [
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whatever mistakes we made together this summer , it 's over . '' | [
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`` what ? | [
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nate , i- '' i feel like he just punched me in the gut . | [
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how did this all go so wrong ? | [
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`` i thought maybe you were different than all the other girls i 've fucked , but you 're not , ok ? | [
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from now on , let 's just smile at each other politely from across the room at family events , like normal stepsiblings do . '' | [
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`` no , no ! | [
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we are different , we are . '' | [
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`` you 're just attached because i was your first . | [
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do n't worry about it , you 'll get over it soon . | [
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you were nothing special to me , brynn , '' he says and walks through the garage 's side door . | [
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i stand in shock as i watch the garage door slide open and his wrangler come speeding out . | [
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i watch him head down the driveway , then disappear around the corner . | [
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i hear the front door open behind me , and eileen approach me . | [
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`` i 'm so sorry , brynn , this is all my fault . '' | [
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`` no , it 's not , '' i reply , biting my lip to keep from sobbing . | [
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she puts her arm around me . | [
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`` he 's just angry . | [
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he 'll come to his senses . '' | [
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`` no , he 's just as stubborn as i am . | [
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it 's really over . '' | [
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i collapse against her , burying my head on her shoulder as i begin to cry . | [
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`` first love always hits the hardest , '' she murmurs as she rubs my arm . | [
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`` come on-your parents wo n't be back for a while . | [
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i 'll make you some tea . '' | [
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after eileen leaves and i 've hidden away in my room , i ca n't help but marvel at her kindness . | [
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it 's been a long time since my own mother has taken care of me and comforted me the way she did , even though the afternoon might have gone even worse for her than it did for me . | [
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she told me that she 's learned not to get her hopes up for a reunion over the years , though it does still hurt . | [
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i keep picturing the anger on nate 's face as he ended our romantic relationship . | [
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i could tell he really meant the things he was saying . | [
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my body aches at the thought that i wo n't get to touch him again , and feel him against me . | [
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already i feel like it 's been ages since i 've seen him . | [
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i hear my mom and pierce come home in the late afternoon , and i glance at my locked door . | [
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i do n't want to see them now , or anytime soon , for that matter . | [
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i think of how nate begins to resemble his father when he gets angry , but his mother in his kindness . | [
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even though she was only in his life until he was eight or nine , she must have had some influence on him in those early years , in addition to whatever good traits she passed down to him genetically . | [
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i suppose i wanted to tip the scales in her direction , to make sure that nate keeps listening to the side of himself that his mother has passed on to him . | [
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but clearly , i do n't have the power to make such a thing happen . | [
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mistake . | [
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he referred to what happened between us as a mistake . | [
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my body curls around myself as though i 've just been punched in the gut . | [
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i can feel the pain reverberating in my bones . | [
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i thought maybe you were different than all the other girls i 've fucked , but you 're not . | [
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you 're nothing special to me , brynn . | [
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his words keep echoing around in my head , and i ca n't make them go away . | [
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i do n't know if i 've ever felt so completely hollow before . | [
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eventually , i fall asleep , my body finally giving in to the exhaustion i feel . | [
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when i wake up , it 's almost ten at night . | [
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my mom did n't even try to wake me for dinner , i realize . | [
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i feel a surge of anger against her . | [
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mothers are supposed to protect their children , but of course she 's taking pierce 's side . | [
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she thinks he 's some kind of savior , rescuing her and her abandoned daughter from some lonely life . | [
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i want to scream . | [
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i want her to be stronger , to be there for me like i 've been there for her countless times . | [
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but i know my anger is useless ; i 've long ago realized that i ca n't change her , ca n't expect her to be any different from the way that she is . | [
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my stomach grumbles , reminding me that i 've skipped a meal or two today . | [
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i do n't even feel like eating , but i know that i 'll never be able to get to sleep again tonight without a little something in my stomach . | [
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i sigh and get out of bed and head over to my bureau , pulling a sweatshirt on over my t-shirt . | [
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i cautiously open my door and listen . | [
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i think i can just hear the sounds of the tv from my mom and pierce 's room . | [
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should be safe , then . | [
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i tiptoe down the hallway , pausing at the open door to nate 's dark room . | [
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still out , i guess . | [
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probably drinking somewhere . | [
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how long can this situation last ? | [
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i wonder as i walk quietly down the stairs . | [
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i feel like we 're all tightly-wound strings , and one of us is bound to break sometime . | [
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i know i for one ca n't keep creeping around the house like this , avoiding everyone . | [
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in the kitchen , i fix myself a grilled cheese sandwich , feeling the need for some comfort food . | [
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i 'm just turning off the stove top when i hear the door to pierce 's study open . | [
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i hurry to grab the spatula and slide the sandwich onto my plate before he comes in , but i 'm too late . | [
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`` brynn , '' he says from the doorway . | [
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`` we missed you at dinner . '' | [
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ugh , that asshole , acting like nothing happened . | [
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`` just fixing something now , '' i answer shortly . | [
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as i put the spatula and pan into the sink , i see over my shoulder that he 's walking toward me . | [
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he plants himself between the island and the fridge , trapping me by the counter . | [
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`` your mother is very upset , '' he tells me , his eyebrow bending into a concerned frown . | [
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`` is she ? '' | [
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i ask through gritted teeth . | [
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if he expects me to apologize , as though her mood is my fault , then he 's mistaken . | [
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`` brynn , i think you 've gotten the wrong idea about me , '' he murmurs , taking another step toward me . | [
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i reluctantly turn to face him . | [
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`` you have no idea how hard it is for a man , to have a beautiful woman like you in the house . '' | [
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`` i 'm your stepdaughter , pierce , '' i practically growl as my heartbeat jumps in my chest . | [
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`` you 've really blossomed this summer , brynn . | [
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you 've become a woman , '' he says , stepping into me . | [
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i can feel his warm breath on my face . | [
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`` i want you to get away from me , '' i whisper , my throat tightening . | [
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`` just for a moment ... i need to feel ... '' he moans pitifully , sliding his hand onto my hip and then over my ass . | [
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my anger ignites at his touch , blasting away my fear . | [
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i get my arms up between us and shove him away . | [
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`` get off me , you fucking asshole ! '' | [
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i scream . | [
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he looks at me in shock . | [
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`` you think you 're some gentleman with your fancy suits and your mansion , but inside you 're just some sick pervert , taking advantage of anyone you can . | [
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i see who you really are , even if no one else does . '' | [
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his face twists with anger , and i feel my cheek light up with pain before my brain can process that he 's slapped me . | [
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i bring my hand up to my burning face , my head still pulled to the side , just as pierce disappears in a blur . | [
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