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i know how badly i fucked up , but i want to do better . | [
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please . | [
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i want to learn with you . '' | [
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i pause , uncertain . | [
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can i really put myself out there with him ? | [
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risk my heart being broken again ? | [
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i feel him begin to pull my hand gently behind his back so that i 'm forced to take a step in . | [
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he leans forward , tucking my arm against the small of his back . | [
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`` no fair , '' i whisper , as the heat of his body envelopes me . | [
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he wraps his other arm around me . | [
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`` i know , '' he says with a sly grin . | [
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`` but can you blame me ? | [
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i 'd do anything for another chance with you . '' | [
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everything about him is so intoxicating . | [
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i 'm dizzy with desire for him after not being near him for close to a month . | [
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i turn my face up to his . | [
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`` ok , ok , '' i relent . | [
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`` one more chance . '' | [
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the words have barely left my lips when he covers my mouth with his . | [
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my legs almost give out as we touch-a mix of pleasure and relief overwhelming my body . | [
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`` god , i 've missed you , '' he murmurs , breaking away for a moment . | [
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i pull his head back down to mine and sink my tongue into his mouth . | [
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`` get a room ! '' | [
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we break away as a group of guys , probably freshmen , walk past us , hooting and hollering . | [
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nate glares at them for a moment , then rolls his eyes . | [
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`` come on , there 's something i 've wanted to do for a long time anyway . '' | [
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he leads me by the hand back out of campus and across the street to the crew house . | [
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i 'm wondering if he means something sexual , and worries he forgot his mom is visiting him . | [
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we walk up the steps and i see her and the crew guys turn to us as we step onto the porch . | [
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`` everyone , this is my girlfriend , brynn , '' he announces proudly . | [
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chapter thirty eileen 's face breaks into a huge grin as i blush . | [
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his teammates slap him on the back and needle him about his lack of previous relationships , then begin to introduce themselves to me . | [
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i 'm quickly offered a beer and pulled into multiple conversations , but nate is there every few minutes with a hand on my back , making sure i 'm ok. as the night goes on , the porch fills up with more people , and , particularly , more women . | [
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i 'm happily overwhelmed by all these new faces , but also glad to just lean on the railing for a minute to sip my beer . | [
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`` brynn ? '' | [
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i hear a woman 's voice call . | [
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i turn to see cara walking up onto the porch . | [
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`` hey ! '' | [
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i say , and stand up to give her a hug . | [
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`` how was your summer ? '' | [
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`` um ... '' i murmur , unable to find the words to describe the last few months . | [
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i look over her shoulder and watch a girl i do n't know place her hand on nate 's chest . | [
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before i can even frown , though , he steps back and smiles politely , then makes his way over to me . | [
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`` it was pretty crazy , '' is all i can come up with before nate 's arm snakes his way around my waist . | [
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`` i just saw my mom yawning , so i think she 's about to go back to her hotel , '' he says . | [
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`` oh , hey cara . '' | [
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`` nate ... are you two ... ? '' | [
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cara asks , her eyes darting back and forth between us . | [
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`` we are , '' i confirm , as nate grins down at me . | [
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it does feel good to say it out loud . | [
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`` and you 've already met his parents ? | [
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wow ! '' | [
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`` yeah , we 've met , '' i reply a bit evasively , as nate bites his lip to keep from laughing . | [
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i elbow him in the ribs . | [
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`` we better go say goodbye to his mom . '' | [
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sure enough , eileen is shouldering her purse and looking around as we walk over . | [
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`` i hope i did n't take up too much of your time with nate tonight , '' i say as we walk up . | [
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`` not at all . | [
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i would n't be here at all if it were n't for you , '' she says , wrapping me up in a big hug . | [
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`` will you join us for brunch tomorrow before i head back home ? '' | [
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i glance at nate , who 's looking at me encouragingly . | [
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`` i 'd love to . '' | [
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`` great , i 'll see you tomorrow then ! '' | [
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she says , giving nate a hug before walking down the steps . | [
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`` is it weird that i want to be friends with your mom ? '' | [
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i ask him as we watch her get into her car . | [
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`` not weirder than sleeping with your stepbrother , '' he murmurs wickedly in my ear . | [
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`` you think you 've had enough of this party ? '' | [
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i shiver at the implication of his words . | [
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`` i think so . '' | [
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he nods over his shoulder toward the front door of the house and i follow him inside . | [
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the living room has several people in it now , but he continues up the steps and to his bedroom down the hall . | [
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`` there is n't going to be another girl under your covers , is there ? '' | [
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i ask him teasingly as he opens the door . | [
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he turns to me with a grin . | [
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`` only you now , brynn . '' | [
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he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me across the threshold , shutting the door behind me and then pressing me up against it . | [
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my body lights up with desire as his mouth covers mine and he pulls my arms over my head , keeping them pinned to the door with one hand over my wrists . | [
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i feel his other hand pulling up the hem of my summer dress as his legs push between mine . | [
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`` alright if this one 's a little quick ? '' | [
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he asks , nibbling on my ear . | [
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`` i just want to feel you , '' i breathe , arching my back and pressing my breasts onto his chest . | [
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with a grunt , he pulls away , reaching into his pocket . | [
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i pull my dress over my head as he yanks his zipper down and pushes his boxers and khakis to his knees , rolling the condom over his length . | [
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i barely manage to get my panties to the floor when he steps back into me , grabbing my ass and hoisting me up . | [
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i moan as i feel his tip press against my opening . | [
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i must have tightened up a bit in the time we 've spent apart because there 's a shot of pain as he slides me down his shaft . | [
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i wrap my arms around the back of his neck and lock my ankles just above his ass as he leans me back against the door . | [
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`` oh fuck , '' he murmurs as he reaches his depth inside me . | [
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he circles his hips , letting me feel him inside me at every angle before pulling back out again . | [
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i marvel at his strength as he 's able to hold me in place and thrust in and out of me with almost no support from me . | [
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the pain is gone by just his third thrust , and pleasure begins to course through my veins . | [
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my toes curl and i run my hands through his hair , then lean forward and slide my tongue inside his mouth . | [
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to my surprise , he steps away from the door , wrapping one arm around my back to keep me supported . | [
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he sinks down onto the edge of his bed so that i 'm sitting on top of him . | [
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i unlock my ankles and move my legs so that i 'm kneeling on the mattress . | [
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i rise up onto my knees as he leans back on his hands , getting used to the feeling of riding him . | [
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i reach my arms back , bringing my hands to the top of his thighs as i slide down him , feeling him stretching me open . | [
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he 's hitting me in all the right places and i begin to move faster and faster . | [
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i keep my eyes open , watching as his mouth drops open and his jaw clenches . | [
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