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`` my grandpa did , actually , '' i tell him , `` back when my dad was still a kid . | [
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this was his and my grandma 's house , before they passed it along to my mom and dad . '' | [
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`` did they ... pass away ? | [
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your grandparents ? '' | [
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emerson asks gently . | [
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`` nah , '' i chuckle , `` they just decided that florida was more their scene is all . | [
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did n't want to go through the hassle of selling this place . | [
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they 're , uh , pretty well off , my grandparents . | [
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good people , but loaded as hell . '' | [
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`` not a very typical combination , is it ? '' | [
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emerson replies gruffly . | [
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he looks over as me as i avert my eyes , embarrassed . | [
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`` sorry . | [
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i did n't mean you . | [
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i just- '' `` did n't you ? '' | [
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i ask softly . | [
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`` of course not , '' emerson says , reaching for my hand . | [
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`` i told you not four hours ago how i feel about you , abby . | [
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you 're not just some rich girl to me . | [
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christ , i would never hold you accountable for your family . | [
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that would mean you could hold me accountable for mine . '' | [
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`` good point . | [
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and i would n't dream of it , for the record , '' i laugh shortly . | [
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`` though apparently , we 're about to have our shitty families joined in holy matrimony . | [
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so ... congratulations to us ? '' | [
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`` or something , '' emerson grumbles , shaking his head . | [
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`` it 's a terrible fucking idea . | [
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they do n't even know each other . | [
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they 're going to make each other miserable . '' | [
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`` i know , '' i reply , heaving a sigh , `` this is why marriage gets such a bad rap . | [
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because assholes like our parents fuck it up for everyone . '' | [
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`` seriously , '' emerson says , pulling out a cigarette . | [
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i do n't even have to ask for one this time , he just passes it my way . | [
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he holds the lighter for me as i run the tip of my cigarette through the flame . | [
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we inhale deeply in unison , peering up at the stars through the canopy of leaves above . | [
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our fingers are still entwined , natural as can be . | [
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that might be what hurts the most-the potential of a relationship that feels as easy as breathing , scattered by our parents ' carelessness . | [
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2453,
2022,
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13403,
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2087,
1011,
1996,
4022,
1997,
1037,
3276,
2008,
5683,
2004,
3733,
2004,
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1010,
7932,
2011,
2256,
3008,
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2791,
1012,
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] | [
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`` it 's not fair , '' i whisper , my eyes prickling with tears . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2009,
1005,
1055,
2025,
4189,
1010,
1005,
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`` no . | [
101,
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2053,
1012,
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] | [
0,
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0
] | [
1,
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] |
it 's not , '' emerson replies , pulling me tightly against his side . | [
101,
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1005,
1055,
2025,
1010,
1005,
1005,
12628,
14054,
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4815,
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] |
`` i mean jesus christ , their timing , '' i laugh , though nothing about this is funny . | [
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] |
`` no kidding , '' he replies , `` if they had n't shown up when they did ... abby , i do n't know what would have happened back there . | [
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1010,
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i mean . | [
101,
1045,
2812,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
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] | [
1,
1,
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] |
i know what i wanted to happen . '' | [
101,
1045,
2113,
2054,
1045,
2359,
2000,
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1012,
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1005,
102
] | [
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] |
`` and ... what 's that ? '' | [
101,
1036,
1036,
1998,
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1012,
1012,
2054,
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1
] |
i ask softly , unable to look him in the eye . | [
101,
1045,
3198,
5238,
1010,
4039,
2000,
2298,
2032,
1999,
1996,
3239,
1012,
102
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1
] |
`` i think you know , '' he says , circling my waist with his muscled arm . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
1045,
2228,
2017,
2113,
1010,
1005,
1005,
2002,
2758,
1010,
18519,
2026,
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2007,
2010,
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2849,
1012,
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] | [
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1,
1,
1,
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1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` but what i do n't know , at least for sure , is what you want out of this . | [
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1036,
1036,
2021,
2054,
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1050,
1005,
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1,
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1
] |
out of ... us . '' | [
101,
2041,
1997,
1012,
1012,
1012,
2149,
1012,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
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1,
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] |
my heart is lodged in my throat as i think of how to answer . | [
101,
2026,
2540,
2003,
20451,
1999,
2026,
3759,
2004,
1045,
2228,
1997,
2129,
2000,
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1
] |
i need to be bold now . | [
101,
1045,
2342,
2000,
2022,
7782,
2085,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
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0,
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] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
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1
] |
to tell him the truth . | [
101,
2000,
2425,
2032,
1996,
3606,
1012,
102
] | [
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0,
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] |
even if i 've read him entirely wrong , and he thinks i 'm insane for what i 'm about to say , we 'll be out of each others ' lives in a few months ' time . | [
101,
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] |
so , here goes . | [
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2061,
1010,
2182,
3632,
1012,
102
] | [
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] | [
1,
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] |
`` if we had n't been interrupted , '' i say , softly but steadily , `` i would n't have stopped until we 'd had each other . | [
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2018,
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1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
that 's all i wanted . '' | [
101,
2008,
1005,
1055,
2035,
1045,
2359,
1012,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
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] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
he glances down at me , and i force myself to meet his gaze . | [
101,
2002,
13021,
2091,
2012,
2033,
1010,
1998,
1045,
2486,
2870,
2000,
3113,
2010,
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1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
his eyes smolder with wanting me . | [
101,
2010,
2159,
15488,
11614,
2121,
2007,
5782,
2033,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
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0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
the intensity of his lust nearly bowls me over . | [
101,
1996,
8015,
1997,
2010,
11516,
3053,
15220,
2033,
2058,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
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] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` that 's what i wanted , too , '' he growls , catching my chin in his hand . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2008,
1005,
1055,
2054,
1045,
2359,
1010,
2205,
1010,
1005,
1005,
2002,
27825,
1010,
9105,
2026,
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2010,
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1012,
102
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1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
he brings his mouth to mine , kissing me forcefully , deeply . | [
101,
2002,
7545,
2010,
2677,
2000,
3067,
1010,
7618,
2033,
23097,
1010,
6171,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
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] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
but there 's a hint of finality in his kiss that nearly brings me to tears . | [
101,
2021,
2045,
1005,
1055,
1037,
9374,
1997,
2345,
3012,
1999,
2010,
3610,
2008,
3053,
7545,
2033,
2000,
4000,
1012,
102
] | [
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] | [
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1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` what are we supposed to do ? '' | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2054,
2024,
2057,
4011,
2000,
2079,
1029,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
i whisper , pulling away from him . | [
101,
1045,
7204,
1010,
4815,
2185,
2013,
2032,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` it 's wednesday . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2009,
1005,
1055,
9317,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
no , thursday now . | [
101,
2053,
1010,
9432,
2085,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
by sunday , we 'll technically be siblings . '' | [
101,
2011,
4465,
1010,
2057,
1005,
2222,
10892,
2022,
9504,
1012,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` i know that , '' emerson replies , his teeth gritted in hopeless frustration . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
1045,
2113,
2008,
1010,
1005,
1005,
12628,
14054,
1010,
2010,
4091,
17307,
1999,
20625,
9135,
1012,
102
] | [
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0,
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0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
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] | [
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1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` and once that 's the case , we ca n't ... '' `` i know , '' i whisper . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
1998,
2320,
2008,
1005,
1055,
1996,
2553,
1010,
2057,
6187,
1050,
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1056,
1012,
1012,
1012,
1005,
1005,
1036,
1036,
1045,
2113,
1010,
1005,
1005,
1045,
7204,
1012,
102
] | [
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`` of course we ca n't . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
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2607,
2057,
6187,
1050,
1005,
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1012,
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] | [
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it would n't be right . '' | [
101,
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2052,
1050,
1005,
1056,
2022,
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1012,
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1005,
102
] | [
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`` nothing about this situation is right , '' he scoffs . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2498,
2055,
2023,
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`` god , '' i mutter , `` why could n't we have just found each other years ago , before we were out of time ? '' | [
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`` we 're not out of time . | [
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1036,
1036,
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yet , '' emerson says carefully , as if testing the waters . | [
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1010,
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my heart clenches tightly as he goes on . | [
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2026,
2540,
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2229,
7371,
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3632,
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] |
`` tomorrow is my birthday , abby . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
4826,
2003,
2026,
5798,
1010,
9460,
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102
] | [
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] | [
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1,
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1,
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1,
1,
1
] |
saturday is yours . | [
101,
5095,
2003,
6737,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
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0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
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] |
that means that on saturday , and only on saturday , we 'll both be legal adults . | [
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2965,
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2006,
5095,
1010,
1998,
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legal , unrelated adults . | [
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3423,
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] |
who can argue with that ? '' | [
101,
2040,
2064,
7475,
2007,
2008,
1029,
1005,
1005,
102
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`` are you ... are you suggesting ... ? '' | [
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1036,
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2017,
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i reply , my eyes going wide . | [
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1045,
7514,
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`` if i do n't at least suggest it , '' emerson says , pulling me into his lap . | [
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1036,
1036,
2065,
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`` i 'll regret it for the rest of my life . | [
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1036,
1036,
1045,
1005,
2222,
9038,
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so , yes . | [
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2061,
1010,
2748,
1012,
102
] | [
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0
] | [
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1
] |
this is me telling you that i want you , abby . | [
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2023,
2003,
2033,
4129,
2017,
2008,
1045,
2215,
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1010,
9460,
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] |
i want to be with you . | [
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1045,
2215,
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2022,
2007,
2017,
1012,
102
] | [
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] | [
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i want us to have each other , if only once in our lives . | [
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1045,
2215,
2149,
2000,
2031,
2169,
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1010,
2065,
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i 'm suggesting that we give ourselves that before it 's too late . | [
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1045,
1005,
1049,
9104,
2008,
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2507,
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you can tell me i 'm nuts , or to go fuck myself , or whatever you like . | [
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but i have to at least tell you ... that that 's what i want . '' | [
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`` well , emerson , '' i say , struggling to take a deep breath , `` that 's convenient . | [
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because i ... want that ... too . '' | [
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1012,
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2215,
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1012,
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we stare at each other for a long moment before bursting into uproarious laughter . | [
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6237,
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2169,
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gut-bursting , tension-relieving , hysterical laughter that almost sends us both toppling off the platform at once . | [
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9535,
1011,
21305,
1010,
6980,
1011,
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6455,
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] |
i throw my arms around emerson 's shoulders as we both roar at the insane , absurd hilarity of this whole situation . | [
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1045,
5466,
2026,
2608,
2105,
12628,
1005,
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] |
a wave of relief crashes through me as laugher wracks my body . | [
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1037,
4400,
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2033,
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] |
god , it feels good to let some of this pressure release . | [
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2643,
1010,
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2204,
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] |
`` that might be the most awkward thing i 've ever said in my life ! '' | [
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1036,
1036,
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2022,
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