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it 's not fancy , but it 's one of my favorite places in the world . '' | [
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his face takes on a cast of sadness as he talks about his dad . | [
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it occurs to me that i barely know anything about emerson 's father , or what happened to him . | [
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i try to open up the conversation as delicately as possible . | [
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`` does he still live around here , your dad ? '' | [
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i ask carefully , reaching for another biscuit . | [
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`` in a way , '' emerson laughs roughly . | [
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`` i mean , he 's still in the state . | [
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or should i say , in state . '' | [
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`` your dad 's ... incarcerated ? '' | [
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i ask , pausing in my one-woman biscuit-scarfing contest . | [
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`` you do n't have to be so formal about it , '' emerson replies . | [
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`` he 's locked up . | [
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has been for most of my life . '' | [
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`` wow ... '' i breathe , unsure of what to say . | [
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`` that 's ... so rough . | [
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i 'm sorry . '' | [
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`` i 'm pretty used to the arrangement by now , '' he says . | [
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`` but thanks . '' | [
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`` do you mind if i ask ... i mean , you do n't have to go into it ... '' i fumble . | [
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`` no , it 's ok , '' emerson replies , `` you 've told me so much about your past , it 's only fair that i be open with you too . '' | [
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we pause our conversation long enough to place our orders with the young , friendly waitress . | [
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once she 's taken our menus away and left us alone once more emerson takes a breath and begins . | [
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`` my parents got married pretty young , '' he tells me , `` for a while , they really were happy . | [
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they never had much in the way of money , but when you look at old pictures of them , it always looks like they 're having a blast . | [
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it was n't until they started trying to start a family that things got sort of ... complicated . '' | [
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`` complicated how ? '' | [
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i ask . | [
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`` complicated in that it did n't work for them at first , '' emerson goes on . | [
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`` they kept trying to get pregnant without any luck . | [
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their doctors told them that fertility treatments , ivf and all , might help things along . | [
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the problem is , those treatments cost money , and my parents did n't have any . | [
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but they were hell bent on having a kid , so my dad-peter-decided to get a little creative with the whole money-making thing . '' | [
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`` and when you say creative ... '' i prompt him . | [
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`` i mean he started selling drugs to make some extra money , '' emerson says bluntly . | [
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`` nothing major . | [
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just weed , mostly . | [
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and it worked , too-they were able to rake in enough extra cash that ivf was suddenly on the table . | [
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my mom was finally able to get pregnant with yours truly . | [
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which was all well and good , until i was eight or so . | [
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that 's when the dealing finally caught up with my dad . | [
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he was n't just selling the drugs . | [
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both my parents had already started having issues with substance abuse by then , and my dad got in a really nasty car accident while under the influence that brought everything out into the open . | [
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he went away , my mom got worse , and i was left to take care of it all . | [
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i did , too . | [
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i have been since i was eight . | [
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i mean , it 's because they wanted me so badly that they started down that road at all . | [
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it only seems fair , you know ? '' | [
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`` emerson , '' i say softly , reaching for his hands across the table , `` you know that none of that is your fault , right ? '' | [
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`` oh , sure , '' emerson shrugs , `` i know that . | [
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in theory . | [
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but it 's hard not to feel kind of obligated to them now , no matter how badly they mess up . '' | [
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`` i know what you mean , '' i nod , `` i feel the same way about my dad . | [
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like , since he lost mom , i always have to be there for him , even if he barely gives me the time of day . '' | [
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`` look at us , '' emerson laughs , `` a couple of bleeding hearts . '' | [
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`` i guess so , '' i smile . | [
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our bountiful plates of food arrive-crab cakes for emerson , vegetable pot pie for me-and we dig in eagerly , plowing through every bite of buttery , flavorful goodness . | [
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we even go in for a couple slices of blueberry pie to top things off . | [
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i 'm surprised we do n't roll out of the restaurant at the end of our meal . | [
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by the time we make it back to the motel , we 're happy , sleepy , and more than a little handsy . | [
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my every nerve sizzles with anticipation as emerson unlocks our motel room love nest and walks in before me . | [
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he flops onto the soft queen bed , and i tentatively ease myself down next to him . | [
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the whole being-alone thing is still so novel for us that i find myself feeling a little shy . | [
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emerson can sense that i 'm still getting my bearings , so he just lets me curl against his side there on the bed . | [
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his arms close around me as i press my back against his chest . | [
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we drift into a post-dinner nap , the sound of the waves cocooning us as we lay there . | [
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even in half-slumber , i can feel my body responding to emerson 's . | [
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our chests rise and fall together , our limbs shifting to accommodate each other . | [
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it 's so simple , so easy . | [
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like we were built for each other . | [
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by all rights , i should be feeling so much pressure and anxiety about what we 've promised to give each other this weekend . | [
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but i 've never felt more at peace . | [
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i do n't know how much time goes by before i turn myself to face emerson there on the bed . | [
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his blue eyes ease open as i lay my head next to his on the pillow . | [
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our mouths twist into matching grins as he runs a hand along the curve of my waist , and i rest my hands on his chest . | [
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without a word , he brings his lips to my neck , kissing me slow and deep . | [
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my back arches as his lips move down my throat , across my clavicle , over my chest . | [
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my blonde hair is splayed across the pillow beneath me as i writhe blissfully at his touch . | [
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i run my fingers through his tousled chestnut hair , tugging him closer toward me . | [
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as i press myself flush against his body , i can feel that he 's growing harder by the second , just from kissing me . | [
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god , that 's hot . | [
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his lips continue to caress every inch of skin they can find as he slips his hand beneath my gray sweater . | [
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the touch of his hand is cool against my flushed skin as he trails up my flat stomach , the tips of his fingers brushing against my ribs . | [
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i hold my breath as i feel him reach around my back and unclasp my bra with a flick of his wrist . | [
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`` someone 's had a lot of practice with bra clasps , '' i tease breathlessly . | [
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`` what can i say , '' he grins , `` i 've have very capable hands . '' | [
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he finally brings his lips to mine as he cups my breast in his hand , running his thumb ever-so-lightly over my hard nipple . | [
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that slight touch sends a pang of desire straight into my core , radiating out through my entire body . | [
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his tongue glances against mine , and i kiss him back , deeper and more urgently with every passing moment . | [
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i feel his hand skirting along my torso as i let my own fingers trail down the hard , rippling line of his abs . | [
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he groans softly as i trace the length of his stiff member through his jeans . | [
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i take a deep breath as emerson pops open the button of my jeans . | [
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pulling me close , he slips his hand between my jeans and panties . | [
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my sex is aching for his touch , and i ca n't help but let my knees fall apart , spreading my legs wider for him . | [
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his fingertips brush against the thin panel of cotton covering me , already wet with desire for him . | [
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i grab onto handfuls of bedding as he pushes aside my panties and rests two strong fingers against my throbbing sex . | [
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`` emerson , '' i breathe , my head falling back against the pillow as he traces a long , slow line along my slit . | [
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i ca n't form any other word besides his name , whisper it over and over again as he strokes me , parting me a little deeper each time . | [
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i bury my face in his chest as he roves along my sex , laying those two expert fingers against the hard nub of my clit . | [
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i 've never been touched like this by a guy , never gotten off with anything that was n't battery-operated before . | [
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