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michaelginn
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bert_data_tokenized

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i sink into a state of catatonic silence as riley gathers a change of clothes for me and leads me out of my house .
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it 's the last time i ever step foot in that place i once called home .
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over the course of the tumultuous next few months , the entire sordid saga comes out into the open .
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on the morning after their wedding , dad and deb were about to head off to europe for a couple weeks for the second leg of their honeymoon .
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dad visited the bank to get some travelers ' checks , but found that his accounts had been frozen because of some suspicious activity .
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he and deb had already consolidated accounts when they moved in together , but dad has never been good about keeping track of his money .
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only when it was pointed out to him by the bank did he notice the dozen or so transactions in deb 's name .
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she 'd been withdrawing money , keeping some in a separate account , presumably for her and emerson .
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the rest she 'd been wiring to her ex-husband , emerson 's father , still serving time in connecticut state prison .
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devastated by deb 's betrayal , dad struck out to hurt her in the worst way he could think of .
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he stocked up on booze , headed back to the hotel , and baited her into going on a bender with him .
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she allowed it to happen , of course , but dad was the instigator .
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only when they were both wasted in their hotel room in the wee hours of the morning did he turn on her .
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he demanded an explanation , but the only one she had to give was that she 'd been using him .
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she noticed him at aa-saw his nice clothes , fancy car , and sad eyes-and knew he 'd go for her .
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deb insisted that she developed real feelings for him later , and that she could n't just leave her ex-husband to rot in prison , but it was obviously too late .
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emerson 's expulsion from our high school was immediate and ironclad , after what he did to tucker .
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i have no idea what possessed him , in that moment , to target my assailant from years ago .
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maybe he wanted to hurt someone who had hurt me , and given that he could n't throttle my dad the way he wanted to , went after tucker instead .
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i 'll never know what his motivation was .
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all i know is that tucker ended up with two broken ribs and had to wear a neck brace to prom .
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or so i 'm told .
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it 's not like i had any reason to go .
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the bender dad started as payback for deb did n't end the day after his wedding .
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or the week after .
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or the month after .
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he descended into an alcoholic depression that far exceeded the one he 'd fallen into after mom 's death .
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i could n't go back to his house-i did n't feel safe there .
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i stayed with riley for a few days before my grandparents arrived on the scene .
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they came up from florida and took me in to one of their nearby summer homes for the duration of the school year .
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dad did n't even put up a fight when they took me away .
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but he did tell them all about finding me in bed with emerson the morning after the wedding .
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and even though nothing had happened between us that night , my grandparents looked at me a little differently from then on .
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in no time at all , the marriage was annulled .
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no one will tell me where emerson and deb have gone , and i do n't even know where to start looking .
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but to be honest , i 'm too brokenhearted to search very hard .
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if emerson wanted me to know where he was , i 'd know .
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as painful as it is , i have to accept the fact that he does n't want to be a part of my life .
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even once our parents ' marriage is dissolved , there 's no trace of him .
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so be it .
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i dive into the last semester of my schoolwork , and end up graduating in the top ten percent of my class .
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riley and i both decide to continue our studies in the fall at the new school in new york city .
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my grandparents agree to pay for the portion of my tuition that is n't covered by scholarships , and even let riley and me stay in the apartment they own in new york as an investment property .
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i spend the summer by my best friend 's side , slowly but surely coming to terms with everything that 's happened .
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i tell myself every day that come fall , i 'll be able to leave the whole ugly mess of my childhood behind me .
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and hopefully , my memories of emerson sawyer along with it .
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chapter twelve new york city eight years later `` which do you like better ? ''
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i ask anxiously , holding two dresses up before me , `` the black , or the navy ? ''
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riley rolls her eyes at my outfit choices .
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`` i 'd like it if you ever bought anything that you could n't also wear to a funeral , '' she replies .
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`` would you be serious ? ''
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i plead , `` my interview is in two hours , and god knows it 's probably going to take me an hour to get there , and i might have to stop and find a starbucks to pee in first because i ca n't ask to pee during an interview- '' `` abby , '' riley says , taking my just-scrubbed face in her hands .
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`` relax .
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you 're going to nail this .
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you are perfect for this job . ''
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i stare back at her , trying to have as much confidence in me as she does .
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in the past six years , riley has transformed from a dissatisfied party girl to a successful pr powerhouse .
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she 's traded in the cheap vodka for top-shelf martinis and the house parties for bottle service and chef 's tables at all the best places in the city .
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we 've been living together since we were eighteen , and are closer than ever because of it .
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but being close means being blunt , and she does n't hold back with me now .
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`` if you do n't take a breath and cool it , you 're going to be kicking yourself all the way home , '' she says , marching me over to her closet .
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she rummages through her colorful wardrobe and hands me an emerald green blouse and yellow pencil skirt .
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`` here .
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put these on . ''
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`` they 're very ... bright , '' i say .
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`` just like you ! ''
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she grins .
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`` you 're interviewing at a creative agency , not a morgue , for christ 's sake .
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a little color will be good , trust me . ''
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`` well .
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thanks , '' i sigh , taking the pieces and heading back into my room to change .
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`` i wo n't fill them out as well as you , but ... '' `` if you think i 'm going to cry you a river for having stayed the same size since you were seventeen years old , you 've got another thing coming to you , '' riley tells me .
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`` speaking of getting older , though , what do you want to do for your birthday this weekend ? ''
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`` nothing , '' i tell her through the crack in my bedroom door .
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`` that 's not an option , '' she replies , as i slip into the clothes she 's leant me .
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`` you know i hate my birthday , '' i call back , piling my hair into a quick , wispy up do .
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it 's still blonde , if a bit of a darker shade than when i was a kid .
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`` all i ever want is to have a quiet night at home . ''
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`` and you know that i 've never taken that for an answer , '' riley reminds me , rustling around the kitchen .
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`` my grandparents are already taking me out to some swanky restaurant , '' i tell her , `` i owe it to them for letting us stay in this place . ''
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`` they 're not using it , '' riley reminds me .
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`` still , '' i insist , `` living rent free is not exactly something to be taken for granted . ''
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`` not with what i spend on booze it is n't , '' riley agrees .
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`` at least let me take you out for a drink after your fancy dinner , ok ?
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you can give me all the juicy family gossip . ''
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i cringe to think of what that gossip might be as i swipe some light makeup onto my face .
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every time i see my grandparents , they spend at least an hour moaning about how badly my dad is doing .
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he 's been in and out of rehab since breaking up with `` that woman , '' as my grandparents like to refer deb .
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after the brawl that ensued the morning after his wedding , i no longer make an effort to include him in my life .
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some things ca n't be forgiven , and the way he treated me that day is one of them .
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`` i 'll give you one birthday drink , '' i tell riley , grabbing my purse , `` but no surprise karaoke this year , ok ?
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or surprise strippers .
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or ... you know what ?
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just no surprises period . ''
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`` cross my heart , '' riley smiles .
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`` sure , '' i say , stepping back out into the living room .
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`` so ?
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how do i look ? ''
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`` fabulous , as ever , '' she says , giving me a quick once-over .
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`` they 're going to love you . ''
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