text stringlengths 1 9.97k | input_ids list | token_type_ids list | attention_mask list |
|---|---|---|---|
you 're upset . | [
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this is n't you talking- '' `` as if you know the first thing about me , '' he fires back , shaking his head . | [
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`` one fuck , and you think we 're soul mates or something ? '' | [
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`` stop it , '' i tell him fiercely . | [
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`` i know what you 're doing . | [
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you 're trying to hurt me . | [
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trying to drive me away so that you do n't have to deal with what 's happening . | [
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well too fucking bad . | [
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i 'm not going anywhere , emerson . | [
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you ca n't scare me away . '' | [
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`` no ? '' | [
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he demands , stepping toward me . | [
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he plants one hand on either side of me , caging me in against the counter . | [
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`` you really think so ? '' | [
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`` yes . | [
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i do , '' i whisper , keeping my hazel eyes trained on his face . | [
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our lips are mere inches from each other , our bodies all but pressed together . | [
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the sudden proximity of him sets me to trembling . | [
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i ca n't be strong enough for both of us . | [
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i need his help . | [
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`` please , emerson , '' i say , blinking away the tears that blur my vision . | [
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`` could you just ... hold me ? | [
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just for a second . '' | [
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he stares at me , his blue eyes frozen over . | [
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but as the first tear rolls down my cheek , i watch the ice crack . | [
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the fight goes out of him , making way for the despair he 's been trying to cover up with aggression . | [
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`` come here , '' he murmurs , opening his arms to me . | [
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i rush to him , throwing myself into his embrace . | [
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he enfolds me in a fierce hug as the tears come hard and fast . | [
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he kisses the top of my head , pulling me tightly against him . | [
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`` you ca n't disappear on me like that , '' i cry , burying my face in the front of his suit . | [
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`` i ca n't get through this without you , emerson . '' | [
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`` i know . | [
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i 'm sorry , '' he says , his voice rasping . | [
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`` this is just ... it 's so hard , abby . | [
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what am i supposed to do without you in my life ? | [
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the way i want you to be , i mean ... ? '' | [
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`` i 'll let you know when i figure it out , '' i say miserably . | [
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we hold each other , each unwilling to be the first to break the embrace . | [
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as the sky begins to lighten , we finally trudge upstairs , entirely spent . | [
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i walk ahead of emerson , my body tired and aching . | [
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the prospect of sleeping alone tonight is too much to bear . | [
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it 's hard to believe that it was just last night that i fell asleep next to emerson , my cheek resting against his bare chest . | [
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it feels like years ago that our bodies met , collided , moved as one . | [
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it was , without question , the best night of my life . | [
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and would you look at that ? | [
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it 's being followed up by the worst . | [
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emerson and i reach the top of the stairs and pause , each glancing at our bedrooms at opposite ends of the hall . | [
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turning away from each other now seems like the final step , the last nail in the coffin sealing up our barely-formed relationship . | [
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after the wrenching , brutal escapade that was our parents ' wedding ceremony this afternoon , i do n't know if i can take it . | [
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`` you know , '' i say softly . | [
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`` today was sort of like a nightmare . '' | [
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`` that 's for fucking sure , '' he murmurs , glancing my way . | [
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`` and after a nightmare ... is n't is usually ok for a little sister to crawl into her big brother 's bed ? '' | [
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i ask tearfully . | [
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a slow , sad smile spreads across his gorgeous face . | [
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`` nice justification , weirdo , '' he teases softly , offering me his hand . | [
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i lace my fingers through his . | [
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silently , we walk down the hallway toward his room . | [
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we do n't even have the energy to change out of our clothes . | [
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with vodka-clouded heads and heavy hearts , we collapse onto his bed . | [
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emerson wraps his arms around me , pulling me close . | [
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there 's no question of things going any further between us now , but this simple comforting embrace is a balm for my battered soul . | [
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in an instant we 've fallen into a deep , mercifully dreamless sleep . | [
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i 'm jerked out of slumber the next morning by the sound of screaming voices . | [
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prying open my eyes , i notice two things straightaway . | [
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first , i am massively hungover , having eaten next to nothing yesterday and had half a bottle of vodka to drink . | [
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second , i 'm still lying beside the sleeping emerson , despite the fact that it 's monday morning and school is set to start in a mere twenty minutes . | [
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but before i can worry about my attendance record , the crash of shattering glass catches my ear from downstairs . | [
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two hysterical voices rage at each other as other objects go hurtling around the ground floor . | [
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emerson 's eyes fly open at the sound of the unfolding chaos , and we turn to look at each other , at a loss . | [
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i recognize dad and deb 's voices at once , but i 've never heard either of them so irate . | [
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`` funneling my money to that lowlife junkie ! '' | [
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my dad bellows , as something heavy topples over . | [
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`` your money ? '' | [
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deb cries shrilly , `` you mean your parents ' money , do n't you ? '' | [
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`` do n't start with that class warfare bullshit- '' `` i do n't have to ! | [
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they already did . | [
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you think i did n't see how they looked at me yesterday ? | [
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you 'd think i was wearing a g-string and pasties- '' `` well , you were n't wearing much else ! '' | [
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something else smashes into a thousand pieces , and i grab for emerson 's hand , panicked . | [
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`` do n't try and change the goddamn subject , '' my dad snarls . | [
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`` you 've been stealing from me for your scumbag ex and your loser drug baby ! '' | [
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emerson 's fingers tighten around mine , his body rippling with fury . | [
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`` my son is not a loser ! '' | [
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deb weeps , charging up the stairs , `` and he 's not staying here in this house for another second ! '' | [
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the entire world grinds to a standstill as emerson 's bedroom door flies open . | [
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deb appears in the doorway , thick rivulets of mascara coursing down her cheeks . | [
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emerson and i stare up at her , entwined in his bed , as my red-faced father appears on the top of the stairs . | [
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the four of us are frozen in a surreal tableau , and for a second i hope against all hope that this is just another terrible dream but in the next moment , reality floods back in . | [
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`` what the fuck is this ? '' | [
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deb shrieks , falling back against the door in horror . | [
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`` we were just-we- '' i stammer , looking helplessly at emerson . | [
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`` get away of my daughter , you piece of shit ! '' | [
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my dad roars , charging into the bedroom . | [
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he grabs me by my arm and wrenches me brutally out of bed . | [
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`` dad , you 're hurting me , '' i gasp , trying and failing to break free from his grip . | [
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`` do n't touch her , '' emerson shouts , leaping to his feet and shoving my father away from me . | [
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he shields me from my dad 's wrath with his solid body , but my dad lunges for me all the same . | [
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the smell of booze seeping off of him turns my stomach . | [
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