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fear of others intentions
impulsivity
Drive to quickly attain food and
other resources
Diminished capacity for patience
discipline and goal setting
Addictiveness
Quick to repeat behaviors that
have positive outcomes
Quick to become addicted to
drugs alcohol etc
Table Behavior that was adaptive in our ancestral past is now maladaptive
Our proclivity for chaotic and destructive thinking is largely involuntary This is because
in most people the brains fear and grief centers have been recruited to be an integral part of
the default mode network When we think about unfavorable social scenarios while under
sympathetic upregulation day after day we deeply etch the threat centers into our wiring
This makes it so that antagonistic conflict runs on autopilot The default mode network is active
during selfreferential thought but is turned off whenever our attention turns to a task or
distraction For many of us the only time we have a reprieve from negative thoughts is when
a diversion such as the television or social media drowns out our inner voice
Chapter Think Peacefully
Many individuals with severe PTSD extrovert only when they talk about their trauma
They may be reticent and withdrawn most of the time but come alive when relating stories
about being accosted bombed in a rice paddy or abused as a child too used to only become
lively when spoke about the bad things that happened to me would pick the most negative
topic possible and use it to whip myself into a frenzy This made most of my conversations with
friends interactions that are supposed to be uplifting incredibly draining My tendency to talk
about unsettling events was reinforcing my social anxiety Next time you are with a friend try
not talking about anything irksome or disagreeable and watch how cool it helps you become
Many of us define ourselves in terms of how tough or unique our problems are This is due
to our inherited tendency to become addicted to trauma During fearful episodes the brain
secretes opioid chemicals that temporarily alleviate the sensation of pain This fearinduced
analgesia is the reason why some of us are paradoxically addicted to fear We find it thrilling
This is why we can become addicted to scary movies or to focusing on negative events It is like
an animal in a cage that engages in selfinjurious behavior just to stay stimulated Almost all
monkeys caged alone develop selfbiting selfslapping and headbanging tendencies Analyze
the perverse gratification you get from thinking and talking about negative things Isnt this
something you could live without
Thinking Activity imagine Not Talking About Stress
Analyze your tendency to talk and think unconstructively about things that incite strong
negative emotions What if you cut this out completely Imagine not telling others about
anything negative traumatic or fearinducing ever again Imagine never griping criticizing or
discussing situations in which you feel you have been wronged Imagine never talking about
anything related to your misfortune mistreatment or your ego being bruised Imagine not
dragging yourself and others down with stories about hostile interpersonal interactions
Could you do it How might this change you
Hopefully you can see how these types of conversations are draining you Try going for a
whole month without talking about anything stressful By the end of the month just see
whether you have more positive energy
Confiding in others in a relaxed supportive environment can be highly therapeutic
However inundating others with negativity just winds us up further Mulling over upsetting
scenarios rather than desensitizing you usually just sensitizes you to them further Let us
differentiate between what sensitizes us and desensitizes us
Be Nonjudgmental Nonresistant and Nonattached
Accept whatever comes to you woven in the pattern of your destiny for what could more aptly fit your needs
Marcus Aurelius
It is possible to prune the fear and grief centers from your brains default network By
intentionally reframing our experiences we can remodel the existing biological connections and
PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body
reprogram our thinking Even the simplest popular notions about managing negative thinking
can be applicable Use these its not that bad mistakes make me better dont fight
reality everything is temporary this too will pass lets find the silver lining everything
happens for a reason I learn from my mistakes time heals all wounds or never mind
Reframing bad experiences solders resilience into our brains circuitry and cuts out the
elements that do not serve us
The following are three especially powerful perspectives that come straight from Eastern
philosophy that have helped me reframe my circumstances and rewire my worldview
nonjudgment nonresistance and nonattachment
wa wa
Thinking Activity Nonjudgment Nonresistance Nonattachment
Spend five minutes imagining what it would be like to completely embrace the following
perspectives
Nonjudgment You are nonjudgmental when you make a conscious choice not to
criticize Most people judge everything that they come across This is immature
Instead of judging something dispassionately recognize it for what it is and move on
without stamping it with your approval or rejection You can suspend your judgment
on everything from nuisances to catastrophes
Nonresistance Always accept what is going on at present as if you have chosen it
Nonresistance is choosing to accept the things you cannot change We are constantly
resisting Not only is this often futile it is also extremely disheartening Give yourself
a break from opposing your environment and let things take their natural course
This is not resignation or inaction We cant fix everything at once so it is best to learn
to coexist with the things that are bothering us as we consider the best ways to rectify
them Accept everything that happens Stoic philosophers called this the art of
acquiescence Nietzsche called this amor fati a love for all that fate unfolds
So Ive been asking you to become nonsubmissive but am also asking you to fully
surrender to everything you cannot change
Nonattachment We all have unhealthy emotional attachments to things that we can
easily lose These attachments set us up for disappointment and emotional pain when
we do lose them Even if we dont lose them we live in fear of losing them Imagine
what it would be like never to fear loss Imagine losing everything that you love and
yet still being at peace Relinquish property friends family past achievements
and every form of physical possession Imagine giving up these things and yet still
being happy If you are afraid of losing something you are insecurely attached to it
and can never truly love it True joy only comes from things or aspects of things
that can never be taken away
These three perspectives are very powerful because they force us to reanalyze our
predicaments from a viewpoint inconsistent with ego status or defeat This is why they are
also incompatible with distressed breathing and persistent muscle tension Due to our
experiencedependent neuroplasticity mental states become mental traits Thus using these