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how paced breathing rewires the default mode network deflates fear and grief and
reconstructs personhood
Prolonged Diaphragmatic Breathing Reconsolidates Traumatic Memories
recommend that you try engaging in paced diaphragmatic breathing for two full hours It will
heighten parasympathetic activity placing you into a peaceful mental and physiological state
Every thought you have in this state will be reframed and reconsolidated as harmless After my
first hour of uninterrupted paced breathing with a metronome could tell everything my mind
turned to was cleansed with peace
You may find some psychological roadblocks Many people start to panic when their senses
tell them that they are too calm However if you keep breathing to the metronome you will
pass through these blockages The first time set out to do this my mind unconsciously and
vividly recalled three of the most traumatic incidents of my life within the first hour One was a
disagreement with a group of friends one was a time of personal embarrassment and one was
a situation that led to a violent attack These memories made me desperately want to switch
back to distressed breathing
It was almost as if my brain was saying Jared you are calmer than you have been in years
right now Is it safe to be this calm Remember these terrifying circumstances that upregulated
your cardiovascular stress system Is there a good reason to relax in the face of these past
challenges How do you you know these threats will not recur tried to reassure my body
that it was okay to sink below these arousing scenarios All had to do was keep breathing to
the metronome Those three harrowing incidents never bothered me again
Thinking Exercise Prolonged Diaphragmatic Breathing
Perform two hours of paced breathing guided by your breath metronome Set your breath
metronome at a moderate interval that will be easy to maintain for two hours You might
want to start with or use or Because you will be performing this for two
hours you do not need to inhale or exhale completely just make sure that you are taking
relatively deep breaths Monitor your body and mind as you achieve a new level of alertness
and relaxation
The first few times do this while lying down sitting or relaxing Later try it while stretching
reading or even while watching a movie You might perform this prolonged paced breathing
session in an area that would otherwise cause stress such as an empty auditorium where you
plan to give a speech or in your dining room where you plan to entertain guests Pair it with
anything you want to calm your bodys response to including fear foreboding pain nausea
loathing or as we will discuss in Chapter hunger
PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body
You might want to combine extended diaphragmatic breathing with a venting session
You could do this during psychotherapy during a talk with a friend or in writing The subjective
intensity of negative emotions diminishes when feelings are put into words and studies show
that there is something highly therapeutic about putting these words on paper Writing about
past hardships has demonstrated powerful clinical benefits It is called writing exposure
therapy The emotional sting is thought to be extracted when a person reconsolidates and
recontextualizes negative memories in this way You should find that writing or speaking
about past adversity while paced breathing brings resolution and finality to lingering woes
Thinking Exercise Writing Therapy
Spend minutes writing about past difficulties These can be the most traumatic incidents
in your life or just ongoing frustrations Express your deepest feelings about your fears griefs
guilts insecurities and any other malignancies subverting your thought Confront the
vexations headon eye to eye by describing them in detail You might also write about how
these issues make you feel how they have affected you in the past and how you plan to
address them in the future
Dont worry about grammar or sentence structure You can save your work but you dont
have to if you dont want to Just write for the entire minutes while paced breathing If
you dont have time to write have this conversation verbally with yourself Speak to yourself
authentically and compassionately with the focus on consoling your fear and grief systems
Negotiate armistice and find closure using paced breathing as your impartial arbitrator
Conclusion
The mind is the master controller of an intricate multidirectional communication system linking
the brain immune system heart lungs and all the bodys organs The physical health of these
parts is largely determined by your mental outlook and your outlook is determined by your
breathing pattern Most people operate on the unconscious assumption that we need shallow
breathing muscular tension and the accompanying panicked thoughts to stay safe come
across as intelligent be socially appropriate avoid rejection and remain occupationally
productive This is rarely true even in the short run
Chapter Think Peacefully
Chapter Bullet Points
e The fear and grief centers of our brains have been recruited as part of the default
network This makes negative thinking exceedingly difficult to stop
e Disengage from fear and grief by repeatedly envisioning yourself as nonjudgmental
nonresistant and nonattached
e Learn to reframe stressors live in the present moment and recognize thoughts for what
they are just thoughts
e The worstcase scenarios that we worry about so much rarely come to pass
e Recognize that many of your concerns are just defensive pessimism disguised as
practicality
e Negative thinking is a trance Snap yourself out of it
e Acute stress may give you a slight temporary advantage in some immediate situations
but chronic stress is a disadvantage in all situations
e Keep in mind that the calmer you are the better prepared you are to respond
to adversity
e Recognize that you do not need anxiety to be alert cogent and socially functional
e Negative thoughts broadcast unhealthy biological signals to the entire body The more
airtime you give to negative thinking the unhealthier you will become
e Stressed thinking causes important brain areas like the hippocampus and PFC
to physically degenerate whereas the absence of stress causes them to flourish
e Dont let the downsides of stress as described here cause you to fear stress or anxiety
You might even find that your anxiety calms if you allow yourself to feel free to be as
anxious as you want
e Prolonged paced diaphragmatic breathing strips negative thoughts and memories of
their ability to abduct your train of thought
e There is no good reason to be reprocessing insecurities from months or years ago If you
have already made an effort to compensate for them let them go
e Try being dead calm first by yourself and then with others
e Minimize replaying or imagining negative social scenarios especially confrontational or
violent ones
e Bevery calm when you model social interactions in your head
e Bevery calm in social situations Retain complete composure Make being calm a
priority in your life eclipsing the fear of appearing rude or unsophisticated
e Expect that the most relaxed version of you has what it takes to resolve any scenario
e The dominant monkey is not stressed because it believes in its ability to deal with
whatever new hardship comes along It trusts that it doesnt have to overthink things to