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The Low King knows it. The grags know it but don’t like it. “I am a tyrant and, if I say so myself, good at it, but I understand the ways of people and the way of the world. Everything is mutable. Nothing is unchangeable. A little give and a little take and a little negotiation, and suddenly the balance of the world is...
And so in the dark, ready to climb up again, out of the skylight, he unrolled his bag of implements, all carefully wrapped in hide so they didn’t clink or rattle, and stepped up purposefully onto the footplate of Iron Girder … … and in the gloom the locomotive spat live steam, instantly filling the air with a pink fog ...
” “In that case, I suggest you get yourself a new shirt … you know, one that isn’t greasy, and clean your boots and your nails and everything else, and now you’re getting loaded up with money you must get yourself a sharp new suit. I know a few places that’d give you a good deal. ” He sniffed and added, “And have a bat...
She sometimes worked nights on the Grand Trunk; she told Moist that it was to keep people on their toes, but he knew that she actually loved the quiet watches of a clear night when messages would twinkle from hill to hill like fireflies. That was the spell of the clacks, and it wasn’t only goblins who felt it. Adora Be...
His death, alas, was self-inflicted. ” “And what about Mister Simnel senior?” said Hardwick. “Was his death self-inflicted?” Simnel took the floor once again. “It just goes to show you have to treat steam with respect, and yes, I learned t’hard way when me dad died and that’s why I measure and test and measure again. I...
” “What? After all I’ve done and the money I’ve put in!” Harry’s face was as red as a beacon. He looked as though he needed one of Dick’s pressure gauges himself. Moist decided to intervene. “Harry, the whole point of trains is that they’re universal. Put them on the tracks and away they go. ” In his mellifluous tones,...
“Sir! Even now the trains are part of life to a lot of people, especially to those on the Plains who commute! We can’t just drop everything, sir!” “Mister Lipwig. Is there something in the word tyrant you do not understand?” In desperation Moist said, “We don’t have enough workers, sir! Not enough people to man the fou...
After all, Lord Vetinari liked the people of Ankh-Morpork to feel they had a stake in their city. “Anyway,” he said, to clinch it, “Vetinari wants the Uberwald route and he’s the ultimate boss. Who knows, the city might be very generous with its level of funding. The trains go round and round and so does the money. ” T...
He wasn’t a philosopher and couldn’t even spell the word, but the voice of the goblin officer rang in his head. He thought, what would happen if goblins learned everything about humans and did everything the human way because they thought it was better than the goblin way? How long would it be before they were no longe...
Mister Slant was always very … particular about that, and no one appreciated the judicious use of Latatian better than dear Archibald did. “And, may I add, I was schooled at the Quirm College for Young Ladies, where they are very solid on the teaching of foreign tongues, even though Morporkian rather seems to have beco...
One thing he was sure of: even though Dick Simnel was forever coming up with blueprints for the next locomotive, every day would have seen him still hard at work on Iron Girder, which was probably why on every visit she continued to look a little different: a different boiler here, different wheels there, different pai...
“Yes, we should go to Quirm, but I think it would be wise to leave Albrechtson in charge here, just to take care of any business. ” * Without his quite knowing how it had come about, and regardless of how little he was actually at the compound, it appeared that Moist was now Mr. Railway. If anyone wanted to know anythi...
” “So, there has so far been no deliberate sabotage?” Moist said, “Not since the attack on Iron Girder months ago, unless you mean the little boys who put their pennies on the track just to get them flattened? That seems to be more of a pastime, and copper bends easily. It’s gone quiet, hasn’t it, sir? I’m thinking abo...
They had called on Simnel for expert advice, in particular how to avoid a head-on crash between their two locomotives on the single track, a conundrum that Dick had solved with classic Simnel simplicity by providing them with signals that could not be changed without a special brass token, carried by whichever driver h...
“The King is far too friendly with the trolls and the damn humans and, for goodness’ sake, he also signed the declaration that the goblins—goblins, I ask you—should be treated as well as dwarfs! I don’t know about you, but I don’t see a goblin as being my equal. ” In the ringing silence, Albrechtson almost whispered, “...
“Moist?” Raising the loaded crossbow, Adora Belle continued, “Is this the one with the dodgy hair trigger? I always get them confused. ” Moist held out his hands and said, “This is how it’s going to go. You may think that Vetinari will be on your side, the majesty of the Patrician and what have you. On the other hand, ...
Moist was greeted at the main entrance by a dwarf who was neatly dressed but notably lacking in the usual weaponry. “Bashfull Bashfullsson, Mister von Lipwig. I know your face. It’s in the papers so often. ” As they hurried inside Bashfull said, “Please let me, as they say, mark your card, Mister Lipwig. The King is fu...
” Behind the King, always present, Aeron was carefully busying himself getting people and weapons on board. He opened the door and quickly ushered Rhys into the gleaming carriage. Bashfullsson tapped Detritus on the knee. “I am indeed a grag, sergeant, and lining up as requested. What next?” Detritus scratched his head...
Even though this was a private dinner, Effie King was not going to let the side down. She had begun her preparations for the meal with a headache and then moved on to a dither before segueing into an organization of military precision and dimensions, bullying the cooks on the way and frantically looking up such things ...
We’ve set it up so that you’ll be just another anonymous traveler on the platform, looking like any one of the Third Class passengers, although, should the need arise, you and your traveling companions would be found to be carrying an inordinately large amount of deadly weaponry. And that, your majesty, includes fangs....
Any royalty, and sensible, too. Nothing to worry about there. Clerk Mavis says the old girl is quick on the uptake and understands the position. She is a good cook and there will be clean sheets. ” Moist looked at the dripping King, who smiled and said, “It sounds like a gift from Tak on a night like this. ” As they wa...
Simnel’s face very carefully. “He’s gradely, lad,” she replied. “He just needs his sleep, such a shame to wake him up. ” Dick flashed a glance to Moist as his mother said that and seemed to be entertaining a thought and then shrugged like a man who had thought better about it. He handed Moist a parcel of clean clothes ...
So you’d know the top speed of a Flyer, then, would you? No?” Hardly anyone on the train had looked up as he subtly questioned the dwarf, as subtly as a sledgehammer; it had become an extraordinary *68 rule of railway etiquette that other passengers’ conduct and conversation remained their private business, however obt...
I could put in a good word for you, my lad, telling them how helpful you’ve been … Yes, I think I’ll do just that, and I thank you for helping me and I can assure you …” and here the glowing snake moved as the commander did, “I can assure you, young man, that no matter what happens to you, nothing will happen to your f...
Oh yes, a tunnel to a troll was a delightful walk in the park, but a bridge, your own bridge … especially one with toilet facilities, courtesy of Harry King, and enough space to raise a family … Trolls, thought Moist … Who would have thought it, they keep their bridges sparkling. Indeed, Effie had announced a best-kept...
The rest of the train’s occupants were settling down for the evening elsewhere, busy with their own affairs; Commander Vimes was making his rounds of the carriages. Moist moved quickly, no longer able to fight the little devil inside him. After all, he reasoned, he’d waited long enough to do this, and he might not have...
The pot was very large and remained regrettably very full and the scream woke up all the households nearby … and when the miscreant delver came back to consciousness he was tied up and en route to Ankh-Morpork for judgment. The railwaymen and their grannies were no-nonsense people, earthy, you might say, and they didn’...
” “Surely Vetinari’s remit doesn’t stretch all the way out here? And you’re well out of your jurisdiction, aren’t you?” To Moist’s amazement Vimes laughed, and said, “I couldn’t speak for Vetinari, but we all know he has his … ways and his means. I think he allows this place to exist so that it doesn’t exist in Ankh-Mo...
After the boomerang incident in Zemphis, Moist wasn’t very keen on seeing the Paps up close and personal, but Simnel’s surveyors had excelled themselves. The railway track insinuated itself up through the craggy gaps so that the train climbed majestically higher and higher, leaving the city of Zemphis and the heat shim...
“Can you imagine a railway accident? The screaming of the rails and the people inside and the explosion that scythes the countryside around when the boiler bursts? And you, little girl, and your little friends, would have done all that. Killed a trainload of people. ” He had to stop there because the girl looked like d...
” “Oh, we like goblins,” said the mayor. “They run our clacks tower. And do you know, the snail infestation in my Porraceous Sprouter patch has completely gone since they moved in. ” And there was another toast to the clacks at this point with a side order of goblins. By the time they had all processed back to Iron Gir...
“Come to think of it, where are t’railway folk? The way I reckoned the schedules, there should have been people ’ere all ready and waiting for us. ” Slam cleared his throat. “We heard noises … People fighting …” Moist looked at Vimes meaningfully and the commander said, “Detritus? Think you could find them?” The watchm...
” “Very good,” said Moist. “Now look at them here. Still working on the sliding rules and fretting themselves because they’ve spent too much time trying to put one over on the universe. ” “It seems like that,” said Vimes, getting up. Together they wandered along the train forcing the engineers to at least lie down in t...
There were guards, Albrecht knew, but like guards everywhere they tended to slumber or go off somewhere to smoke a pipe during the long hours of the night, and in any case very few of them came near to this particular dungeon since sensible guards didn’t want to upset someone like Albrecht. Even if you thought you were...
In every township they passed people were ready for them with flags and, above all, with bands that wheezed and oompahed as the crowds cheered Iron Girder on her way. And, yes, as the train came past slowly and carefully you had to watch out for the little boys running after her, following the dream. It was a sight to ...
You could say that I’m Lord Vetinari’s scoundrel. ” “As if he needs one!” “Scoundrels take a different look at people, just to get the measure of them: the way they walk, the way they talk, the way they sit. All the little details left unsaid in the wrong place. ” The Queen was silent for a moment and said, “A real sco...
Down below, the fog curled into even stranger shapes, spiraling vortices, stirred up by the passage of the train, and after a strangled few minutes there was a thump of wheels on rails as Iron Girder consented to exchange flight for the sensible permanent way once more and then Dick blew the whistle and kept blowing, a...
You got the occasional werewolf or zombie in Ankh-Morpork, of course, but in Uberwald they were commonplace. This was their place, with their rules—and that included the Black Ribboners, the slightly weird types who had sworn to shun the temptation to drink people’s blood and similar … But they were still weird, possib...
Idiots with a cause and it had been such a stupid cause to begin with. And as he was watching Vimes fend off an attack from two of the buggers, there came a blow out of the darkness that knocked Moist onto his back, taking the wind out of him. He looked up into the face of madness. That special kind of madness warped b...
Albrechtson would like you to know that he’s being well treated and has been able to follow the progress of Iron Girder, thanks to the goblins. ” Rhys turned and looked at Simnel and Moist and said, “Thank you, and Sir Harry, for getting me here safely. And Iron Girder, too. At the appropriate time you will know my gen...
There was something in his demeanor that suggested an absolute assurance that this day was his (or indeed, hers , as he finally allowed the thought to creep back into his consciousness). Sitting on the hallowed Scone of Stone with Ardent in front of him, Rhys said, “You were dealt with mercifully after the Koom Valley ...
In my little dungeon, I heard my ways changing and understood the meaning of humility. In fact, I am prepared to admit before you all that some of those lessons were taught me by a goblin a fraction of my age, whom I am proud to call my friend. ” Moist saw that the old dwarf was crying. Albrechtson hesitated, then shou...
” Dick grinned at Moist and continued. “People see Iron Girder and they’re gobsmacked by what can be done with mathematics! Don’t you go thinking she’ll burn you with living steam because she won’t. I’ve seen to it that she won’t. She’ll always be my favorite engine, Mister Lipwig, the queen of them all. She lives. How...
” And the secretary winked uncharacteristically at Harry, and his wife when he told her was, according to her, all of a tizzy at the news. “The palace in one hour! How can a girl look her best inside an hour?” “Come on, Duchess,” said Harry. “You look a treat as always and getting younger every day. ” “Oh, you teaser, ...
An instrument that doubles one’s speed ought to be very useful to a hurrying watchman, or, indeed, an insufficiently hurrying one. Mister Drumknott, please write a note to the commander and I will sign it. After all, some of them could do with the exercise. And if I were you, sir,” he added to the goblin, “I would make...
39 The jailers couldn’t understand how he’d escaped until they realized they weren’t getting their washing back. 40 He knew he couldn’t use that colloquial term around there, of course, but after all, the people of Quirm called the people of Ankh-Morpork sphincters , mostly in fun. Mostly. *41 For humans he would hav...
If there was a problem, a passenger could pull this rope and the driver or guard, alerted by the bell, would slam on the brakes. *70 Moist had seen the Falls before and that’s just what they were … falls. Pretty good falls by the standard of falls, but once you’d looked at them for a few minutes undoubtedly someone wou...
By now the whole of downtown Morpork was alight, and the richer and worthier citizens of Ankh on the far bank were bravely responding to the situation by feverishly demolishing the bridges. But already the ships in the Morpork docks—laden with grain, cotton and timber, and coated with tar—were blazing merrily and, thei...
Perhaps you would care to tell me more?” Bravd looked at the shape on the road. It was closer now, and clearer in the pre-dawn light. It looked for all the world like a— “A box on legs?” he said. “I’ll tell you about it,” said Rincewind. “If there’s any wine, that is. ” Down in the valley there was a roar and a hiss. S...
Wa looked at the man leaning back in his chair, his black-clad frame resting as nonchalantly as a Rimland puma on a jungle branch, and decided that Gorrin atop Small Gods Temple would soon be joining those little deities in the multifold dimensions of Beyond. And he owed Wa three copper pieces. Ymor crumpled the note a...
” His mind reeled back from the effort. The visitor went on, “My name is Twoflower,” and extended his hand. Instinctively, the other three looked down to see if there was a coin in it. “Pleased to meet you,” said Rincewind. “I’m Rincewind. Look, I wasn’t joking. This is a tough place. ” “Good! Exactly what I wanted!” “...
Twoflower had insisted on paying his first four days’ wages in advance. Hugh nodded and smiled encouragingly. Rincewind snarled at him. As a student wizard Rincewind had never achieved high marks in precognition, but now unused circuits in his brain were throbbing and the future might as well have been engraved in brig...
“Capital! I gather already that you and Twoflower are on the best of terms. An excellent beginning. When he returns safely to his homeland you will not find me ungrateful. I shall probably even dismiss the charges against you. Thank you, Rincewind. You may go. ” Rincewind decided not to ask for the return of his five r...
Twoflower followed, and a few seconds later there was a strangling sound from the sergeant as the Luggage closed its lid with a snap, stood up, stretched, and marched after them. Watchmen were dragging bodies out of the room downstairs. There were no survivors. The Watch had ensured this by giving them ample time to es...
A few others followed, too. In a city where public executions, duels, fights, magical feuds and strange events regularly punctuated the daily round the inhabitants had brought the profession of interested bystander to a peak of perfection. They were, to a man, highly skilled gawpers. In any case, Twoflower was delighte...
In the absence of Twoflower, had it adopted him? The tide was turning and he could see debris drifting downstream in the yellow afternoon light toward the River Gate, a mere hundred yards downstream. It was the work of a moment to let the dead thief join them. Even if it was found later it would hardly cause comment. A...
A few moments later Rincewind smelled bacon frying. He waited until his stomach couldn’t stand the strain anymore, and rapped on the box. The imp reappeared. “I’ve been thinking about what you said,” it said before Rincewind could open his mouth. “And even if you could get a harness on it, how could you get it to pull ...
People who said this in earshot of Zlorf tended to carry their ears home in their hats. He strolled down the stairs, followed by a number of assassins. When he was directly in front of Ymor he said: “I’ve come for the tourist. ” “Is it any of your business, Zlorf?” “Yes. Grinjo, Urmond—take him. ” Two of the assassins ...
At the furthermost end of Short Street a dark oblong rose on hundreds of tiny legs, and started to run. At first it moved at no more than a lumbering trot, but by the time it was halfway up the street it was moving arrow-fast… A darker shadow inched its way along one of the walls of the Drum, a few yards from the two t...
The wizard uncurled his stinging fist and the roll of gold coins slipped between his throbbing fingers. He looked down at the recumbent thief. “Good grief,” he gasped. He looked up and yelled as another ember landed on his neck. Flames were racing along the rooftops on either side of the street. All around him people w...
“The wizard said that the little man had some sort of golden disc that told him the time,” said the Weasel. “Arousing your cupidity, little friend? You always were an expert thief, Weasel. ” “Aye,” agreed the Weasel modestly. He touched the knob at the disc’s rim, and it flipped open. The very small demon imprisoned wi...
He went on to add that some of the ancient magic could still be found in its raw state, recognizable—to the initiated—by the eightfold shape it made in the crystalline structure of space-time. There was the metal octiron, for example, and the gas octogen. Both radiated dangerous amounts of raw enchantment. “It’s all ve...
“Being torn apart by wolves won’t hurt?” He noticed another branch crossing his dangerously narrowing one a few feet away. If he could just reach it… He swung himself forward, one hand outstretched. The branch, already bending, did not break. It simply made a wet little sound and twisted. Rincewind found that he was no...
But he could feel it sometimes, sidling out of sight behind his Ego, biding its time… On the front of the Octavo had been a representation of Bel-Shamharoth. He was not Evil, for even Evil has a certain vitality—Bel-Shamharoth was the flip side of the coin of which Good and Evil are but one side. “The Soul Eater. His n...
The wide chest, the neck like a tree trunk, the surprisingly small head under its wild thatch of black hair looking like a tomato on a coffin…he could put a name to the creeping figure, and that name was Hrun the Barbarian. Hrun was one of the Circle Sea’s more durable heroes: a fighter of dragons, a despoiler of templ...
“I wish Rincewind was here,” he said. “He’d know what to do. ” “Him?” sneered the demon. “Can’t see a wizard coming here. They can’t have anything to do with the number eight. ” The demon slapped a hand across his mouth guiltily. Twoflower looked up at the ceiling. “What was that?” he asked. “Didn’t you hear something?...
” It dawned on him that this was precisely the wrong thing to say, but Hrun had already pushed Twoflower away and was reaching for the Luggage… …which sprouted legs, backed away, and raised its lid threateningly. In the uncertain light Rincewind thought he could see rows of enormous teeth, white as bleached beech-wood....
Of course, they also absorbed the rest of the sunlight as well, storing it in a special sac until it was excreted in the normal way. A desert inhabited by Discworld salamanders was a veritable lighthouse at night. Rincewind put them down and nodded grimly. With all the octarine light in this magical place the creatures...
“Some infidel was wearing an octiron collar, most unsporting, and of course I was a lot sharper in those days and my master used to use me to cut silk handkerchiefs in midair and—am I boring you?” “Huh? Oh, no, no, not at all. It’s all very interesting,” said Rincewind, with his eyes still on Hrun. How trustworthy woul...
The magic faded away—slowly, over the millennia, releasing as it decayed myriads of sub-astral particles that severely distorted the reality around it… Rincewind, Twoflower and Hrun stared at the coin. “Edge it is,” said Hrun. “Well, you’re a wizard. So what?” “I don’t do—that sort of spell. ” “You mean you can’t. ” Ri...
One appears to be a wizard of sorts,” she adds by way of encouragement. Oh, you know how it is with wizards. Half an hour afterward you could do with another one, the dragon grumbles. He spreads his wings and drops. “They’re gaining!” screamed Rincewind. He bent even lower over his horse’s neck and groaned. Twoflower w...
A moment later the wizard was standing over him, shouting, “Tell it that if it singes me I’ll let the sword go! I will! I’ll let it go! So tell it!” The tip of the black sword was hovering over K!sdra’s throat. What was odd was that the wizard was obviously struggling with it, and it appeared to be singing to itself. “...
Rincewind looked up at grinning men. “Bet?” he said wearily. Before Kring could reply Psepha reared in midair and alighted on one of the large rings, which rocked alarmingly. “Would you like to die now, or surrender first?” asked K!sdra calmly. Men were converging on the ring from all directions, walking with a swaying...
“I always wanted to see dragons, ever since I was a little lad. Dragons flying around in the sky, breathing flames…” “They just used to crawl around in swamps and stuff, and all they breathed was stink,” said Hrun, lying down in the bunk. “They weren’t very big, either. They used to collect firewood. ” “ I heard they u...
When he lifted his arm there was the greasy feel and faint shower of sparks that betokened a localized magical field. Twoflower found himself fervently wishing for light. A gout of flame rolled past his head and struck the far wall. As the rocks flashed into furnace heat he looked up at the dragon that now occupied mor...
“It turned up?” said the voice. “You summoned it!” “Yes, well, all I did—” “You have the Power!” “All I did was think of it. ” “That’s what the Power is! Have I already told you that I am Greicha the First? Or is that next? I’m sorry, but I haven’t had too much experience of transcendence. Anyway, yes—the Power. It sum...
“As you know,” he said uncertainly, “the not-fully-late Lord of the Wyrmberg, Greicha the First, has stipulated that there will be no succession until one of his children feels himself—or as it might be, herself—powerful enough to challenge and defeat his or her siblings in mortal combat. ” “Yes, yes, we know all that....
Liessa and the Loremaster were waiting on a raised dais at one end of the meadow. The dragonwoman had quite recovered her composure now, and looked levelly at Hrun as he threw the two men down on the steps before her. The people around her were standing in deferential poses, like a court. “Kill them,” she said. “I kill...
As the gold beast materialized in front of her she leapt astride it, still naked, and snatched a crossbow from one of the guards. Then she was airborne, while the other dragonriders swarmed toward their own beasts. The Loremaster, watching from the pillar he had prudently slid behind in the mad scramble, happened at th...
He was wearing a jacket of the same gray material… Until now he’d never heard the language the man with the amulet was using. It was uncouth and vaguely Hublandish—so why could he understand every word? Let’s see, they’d suddenly appeared in this dragon after, they’d materialized in this drag, they’d sudd, they’d, they...
“I used some of the silver to make myself this new hand, putting to use my unrivaled knowledge of levers and fulcrums. It suffices. After I created the first great Light Dam, which had a capacity of 50,000 daylight hours, the tribal councils of the Nef loaded me down with fine silks and then hamstrung me so that I coul...
Something else that was large and fortunately unidentifiable howled in the mist. A whole squadron of flying fish tumbled up in a cloud of rainbow-edged droplets and managed to gain a few yards before dropping back and being swept away in an eddy. They were running out of world. Rincewind dropped his bucket and snatched...
It was alive and glowing and vibrant and it was the undisputed pigment of the imagination, because wherever it appeared it was a sign that mere matter was a servant of the powers of the magical mind. It was enchantment itself. But Rincewind always thought it looked a sort of greenish purple. After a while a small speck...
“I don’t think you understand,” explained Twoflower. “I am a citizen of the Golden Empire. I’m sure Krull would not wish to incur the displeasure of the Emperor. ” “How will the Emperor know?” asked the troll. “Do you think you’re the first person from the Empire who has ended up on the Circumfence?” “I won’t be a slav...
“Would he leave that sort of thing around if it could hurt him?” Twoflower wondered aloud. Rincewind ignored him and took up a position beside the door. When it opened some ten minutes later he moved unhesitatingly, swinging it across the opening at what he judged was the troll’s head height. It swished harmlessly thro...
” He was thinking: I’ve seen excitement, and I’ve seen boredom. And boredom was best. Had either of them happened to look down at that moment they would have noticed a strange v-shaped wave surging through the water far below them, its apex pointing directly at Tethis’s island. But they weren’t looking. The twenty-four...
The parapet along the edgewise cliff was dotted with gantries projecting into nothingness. The lens glided smoothly toward one of them and docked with it as smoothly as a boat might glide up to a quay. Four guards, with the same moonlight hair and nightblack faces as Marchesa, were waiting. They did not appear to be ar...
It loomed up at him and for a moment Terton saw something rectangular, multilegged, shaggy with seaweed and—although it had absolutely no features from which he could have deduced this—it was also very angry indeed. The hut was smashed to fragments as the monster charged through it, although Terton survived by clinging...
“I suppose you wouldn’t tell us why ?” said Twoflower. “Yes,” said the Lady. “The Krullians intend to launch a bronze vessel over the edge of the Disc. Their prime purpose is to learn the sex of A’Tuin the World Turtle. ” “Seems rather pointless,” said Rincewind. “No. Consider. One day Great A’Tuin may encounter anothe...
The beast snuffled at him in a friendly fashion; though it was crimson-eyed and had flanks like oiled silk, it was nevertheless a real flesh-and-blood horse and, indeed, was in all probability better treated than most beasts of burden on the Disc. Death was not an unkind master. He weighed very little and, although He ...
Maintain the watch on the harbor, of course. When the wretched pair are caught I will personally take a great deal of pleasure in executing them myself. ” “Yes, lord. Er—” The Arch-astronomer frowned. “What else have you got to say, man?” The Launchcontroller swallowed. All this was very unfair on him, he was a practic...
The honor party had long since vanished, leaving their weapons scattered behind them. “Well,” sighed Twoflower at last, “there goes the Luggage. ” He sighed. “Don’t you believe it,” said Rincewind. “Sapient pearwood is totally impervious to all known forms of magic. It’s been constructed to follow you anywhere. I mean,...
His back ached where a branch was pressing into it, his legs and arms hurt where the twigs had lacerated them and, judging by the way his head was feeling, something hard had recently hit it. If this was Hades it sure was hell—hang on a minute… Tree. He concentrated on the word that floated up from his mind, although t...
” — Today (Great Britain) ”What makes Terry Pratchett’s fantasies so entertaining is that their humour depends on the characters first, on the plot second, rather than the other way around. The story isn’t there simply to lead from one slapstick pratfall to another pun. Its humour is genuine and unforced. ” — Ottawa Ci...
Worldwide sales of his books are now 60 million, and they have been translated into 37 languages. Terry Pratchett was knighted for services to literature in 2009. The Discworld Series is a continuous history of a world not totally unlike our own except that it is a flat disc carried on the backs of four elephants astri...
There was something very strange about this room deep in the cellars of Unseen University, the Disc’s premier college of magic. For one thing it seemed to have too many dimensions, not exactly visible, just hovering out of eyeshot. The walls were covered with occult symbols, and most of the floor was taken up by the Ei...
Faced with the possibilities offered by seed pearls and silver filigree, the Creator had been at a complete loss. But the tiny universe inside the fireball was uncannily – well, real. The only thing missing was colour. It was all in translucent misty white. There was Great A’Tuin, and the four elephants, and the Disc i...
He put the soggy dogend in his mouth, called up mystical fire from between his fingers, and dragged hard on the wretched rollup until little blue lights flashed in front of his eyes. He coughed once or twice. He was thinking very hard indeed. He was trying to remember if any gods owed him any favours. In fact the gods ...
There was no sound but the murmur of nasty little stinging insects, the occasional crack of a falling branch, and the whispering of the trees discussing religion and the trouble with squirrels. Rincewind began to feel very lonely. He imagined himself living in the woods forever, sleeping on leaves and eating. . . and e...
The preparation normally took several hours, but the combined powers of the senior wizards shortened it considerably and, after a mere forty minutes, Galder chanted the final words of the spell. They hung in front of him for a moment before dissolving. The air in the centre of the octogram shimmered and thickened, and ...

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