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479,511 | 463,200 | 139,318 | 1 | Even for a porno this is just terrible ! | This was released as a midnight movie only in a mainstream theatre here in MA back in the 1990s . It was unrated but no one under 17 was admitted ( meaning it was X rated ) . Loving 3-D effects ( and being old enough to get in ) I decided to take a chance and see it . Bad mistake ! For starters despite the X rating the hardcore sex was ( obviously ) cut down to nothing . It wasn't any more explicit than an R rated film ! The plot didn't make a bit of sense ( something about people sucking on lollipops ) , the color was VERY faded and , to be nice , the 3-D effects were abysmal . The cast was attractive enough but after a half hour of badly edited sex , terrible 3-D and no plot whatsoever I had a headache and had just had it . I walked out - - and I wasn't alone . About 3 other guys left the same time I did and we kept talking about how terrible the film was . We ended up sneaking into the " Rocky Horror Picture Show " : ) Boring , pointless with bad 3-D and faded color . Also what was the POINT of showing an X rated film with all the sex scenes cut out ? ? ? You can skip this one . |
478,027 | 463,200 | 240,515 | 1 | Utter trash | Gord ( Tom Green who also directed and cowrote ) is a 28 year old loser who moves in with his parents ( Rip Torn , Julie Hagerty ) while trying to become a successful animator . His father is constantly swearing and screaming at him so he tells a counselor that his father sexually abused ( " fingered " ) his younger brother Freddy . This is played for laughs incidentally . Basically , this is one of the most disgusting comedies ever made . It's vile , unfunny and just has the most horrible sequences I've ever seen . They include : an old man in a walker being knocked down ; Green masturbating a horse ; Green cutting open a dead deer and wearing its skin ( ! ! ! ) ; horses having sex ; a little boy getting hit by a car with blood all over him - - he is later hit in the face with a baseball , over the head with a bottle and chopped up by plane blades - - all for laughs ; a man falls down , breaks his leg and , while he's screaming in pain , Green licks the bone sticking out of his leg ; Green helping a woman give birth , biting off the umbilical cord and swinging the baby around sprewing blood all over . . . this is all within the first half hour ! ! ! It just gets worse and worse with tons of disgusting humor , loads of swearing and talented actors like Torn , Drew Barrymore and Hagerty struggling to maintain their dignity . Torn especially has it bad - - at one point he bares his behind for laughs . Sad . There are two good performances - - Anthony Michael Hall as David Davidson and Marisa Coughlan as Betty - - a woman in a wheelchair who gets sexually excited when Green beats her feet with a bamboo stick - - this is shown three times . The whole movie ends with a truly desperate , pointless ending which tries to throw in a little moral lesson ! I almost stopped watching five times out of pure disgust but braced myself . This is a truly offensive , sick and revolting film . Every print should be locked in the studios vaults and never let out . The worst comedy EVER ! ! ! ! ! |
478,255 | 463,200 | 66,563 | 1 | Sick , tasteless and consistently unfunny | A mild-mannered NY lawyer ( George Segal ) is slowly going crazy . He promised his father on his death bed that he would NEVER send their senile mother ( Ruth Gordon ) to a nursing home . Years later he's taking care of a senile , dangerous psychopath . He meets a beautiful nurse ( Trish Van Devere ) and they fall in love . But his mother keeps scaring her away . Segal is ready to kill her . . . . Ummmm . . . THIS is a comedy ? I have nothing against sick , black humor but come on . . . there HAS to be some limits ! This movie goes out of its way to throw every tasteless sick joke it can think of and rub your face in it . Too bad none of the jokes are funny . The jokes involve rape , nudity , public humiliation , senile old people , swearing and racism . Basically this is a movie that thinks it's clever by trying to shock people and thinking they'll laugh at it . I was disgusted and didn't laugh once . The movie is morbid , disturbing and ( surprisingly ) dull . The cast is the only thing that kept me watching . Segal and Gordon were both wonderful in their roles - - Gordon especially . And Van Devere is pretty good also . But the script is against them . The only interesting thing ( not funny ) was a pointless courtroom scene with Rob Reiner Jr . ( and try to spot his then-wife Penny Marshall as a spectator ) . Actually this movie could have been worse - - the original ending had Segal getting into bed with his MOTHER and pretending he's poppa ! That was ( thankfully ) changed . A real lousy , sick film . Bottom of the barrel . I give it a 1 . |
477,865 | 463,200 | 90,769 | 1 | Mostly boring | I saw this in a theatre out of pure curiosity back in 1986 . The ads gave no indication what this was about - - it just showed Nicolas Cage with his shirt off showing his VERY nice chest . It was a dull true story of Ned Hanlan who was a world class sculler - - or something like that . It takes place in the 19th century ( the ads didn't mention that either ) and I usually hate period pieces - - that didn't help me like the movie more . The only good thing about this was Cage - - he WAS good and his body looked fantastic . But , unless you're interested in sculling , you'll probably be bored silly . There was one unintentionally hilarious scene in which Cage tries to rip open a woman's shirt - - and it wouldn't rip ! He fumbles with it before he finally gets it off . The audience I saw it with was laughing hysterically . |
478,475 | 463,200 | 455,857 | 1 | Another dull pointless PG-13 " horror " movie | A remake of the 1979 hit . Jill Johnson ( Camille Belle ) is hired to babysit two kids in a beautiful , very elaborate house in the middle of nowhere . There's also a live in maid ( Rosa ) and a college age son who lives in a small house nearby . Things are fine for a while . . . but then Jill starts getting crank phone calls . She answers the phone , she knows someone is there . . . but they don't say anything . The calls increase , there's a storm brewing outside and the police are far away . Then the caller asks " Have you checked the children ? " OK - - the first was no masterpiece but it had a GREAT opening 20 minutes and a great ending . It also had some good acting . This has none of that . It's a solid HOUR before anything happens ! The rest of the film has Belle wandering around the house from room to room ( with a couple of annoying " jump " scares ) until you could scream . I fast forwarded through virtually half the film . There's no blood or violence at all - - we don't even see the two murders in this ( both of which are pointless ) and the bodies don't have a bruise or drop of blood on them ( gotta get that all important PG-13 rating ) . This film duplicates the two famous lines from the original - - " Have you checked . . . " and " Your blood all over me " - - but they're not even remotely scary here . It's hard to rate Belle's performance - - the poor woman is given nothing to do ! She is certainly good-looking and screams and runs around with conviction . . . but that's about it . The script she's given has her doing nothing at all . Also - - the rating . The original was R rated , more violent and was a big hit . But studios today refuse to release R rated horror films . They just churn out these dull , pointless remakes of the original , make sure it has a PG-13 rating ( it it doesn't they'll cut it down to one ) and star unknowns . These aren't movies - - they're screen tests for young actors or actresses . I don't blame them - - I blame the producers , writers and directors who get this junk made and released . Really pretty sad . Seriously - - watching paint dry would be more exciting than this . Skip it . Bottom of the barrel . |
477,574 | 463,200 | 451,957 | 1 | And I thought the first two were bad . . . | Pretty bad . It starts off in 1969 where a girl ( Mary ) is accidentally murdered and the killer hides the body and she's never found . It cuts to 30 + years later and high schooler Samantha Owens ( Kate Mara ) somehow raises the ghost of Mary who starts to take revenge on the children of the jerks who accidentally caused the murder . Why she never goes after the actual killer is never explained . Sam realizes something is wrong and she and her brother ( Robert Vito ) try to figure out who killed Mary and where the body is . It's also laughably obvious who the killer is . Stupid , boring " horror " film . The script is old , the dialogue is jaw-droppingly stupid and the acting is mostly pretty bad . Only Mara and Brandon Sacks ( Steve ) show any talent . There are a few nice gory deaths to break the boredom and ( surprisingly ) there's no nudity . The closest we get is seeing Sacks in the shower ( waist up ) and wearing some very brief shorts in the tanning salon . One woman DOES take her top off but her back is to the camera . So - - no real nudity , only a few gruesome deaths , a predictable script and bad acting . Makes the first two look like unsung masterpieces by comparison . You can skip this one . |
477,489 | 463,200 | 231,733 | 1 | Pretty terrible | A bunch of untalented kids act out a play on Christmas Eve for the parents . Also , two of the girls do some sort of speech . Of course , the film is silent so . . . why was this done ? We can't hear any dialogue so we have no idea what's going on . I suppose this has some historical interest as a film and of what ( supposedly ) happened in homes on Christmas Eve . But it's entertainment value is nil . The only good thing is it's 5 minutes long ! A must-miss . |
477,712 | 463,200 | 188,128 | 1 | Dreadful | ! ! ! SPOILERS ! ! ! Supposed comedy musical about a pathetic young woman ( Rachel Griffiths ) ruled by her monster of a father ( Johnathan Pryce ) . Then her father has a stroke and she learns how to become strong and self-sufficient . This is one of those films that takes place in an impossibly small town in Wales , is peopled by " lovable " eccentric characters ( including the obligatory gay couple ) and has a saintly young girl who has to die so the main character can find herself . The plot is old and depressing ; the comedy is either cruel or unfunny ; the songs are sparse and badly done and the Welsh accents render most of the dialogue incomprehensible ( this film NEEDS subtitles ! ) . Boring , predictable , depressing . Why is this film getting so much acclaim ? AVOID ! |
478,061 | 463,200 | 114,241 | 1 | Morbid | Depressing black BLACK comedy about a woman ( Mia Farrow ) who flees her house on Christmas Eve when she discovers her husband ( Tony Goldwyn ) has hired a hit man to kill her . She ends up with a husband and wife ( Scott Glenn and Mary-Louise Parker ) and then things go wrong . Basically Farrow keeps running and is continuously meeting VERY strange people and getting into morbidly unfunny situations . This was advertised as a feel good movie when I saw it around Christmas time at its VERY short run in an art cinema . I found it sick , unfunny and just depressing . I like black humor but this was WAY too dark for me . What happens to Parker's character especially was horrifying . To make matters worse Eileen Brennan is thrown in as a nun ( ! ! ! ) later on and proceeds to chew the scenery with gusto . The only saving grace was Farrow's acting - - it's much better than this picture deserves . Also it was a relief to see the very talented Stephen Dorff pop up at the end . The ending itself was kind of nice but it couldn't erase what had gone on before . Sick , morbid , pitch black " comedy " . A 1 |
478,089 | 463,200 | 24,601 | 1 | THIS is considered one of the greatest comedies ever ? ? ? ? | Stan Laural and Oliver Hardy belong to a strange all-male organization called Sons of the Desert . They plan to attend an annual convention in Chicago . Unfortunately their loud , obnoxious , domineering wives won't let them go . So Hardy pretends he's sick and has to go to Honolulu ( ! ! ! ) to recover with Laurel going with him . Instead they sneak off to Chicago . . . and things go wrong . I have never seen a Laurel and Hardy film in my life so I decided to start with what is considered that best . THIS is their best ? ? ? ? I didn't laugh ( or smile ) once . I found the humor VERY dated , infantile and extremely violent . I'm not a fan of violent slapstick and that's primarily what this is . Also the sexual politics here are extremely dated with all the women portrayed as controlling witches . I didn't even like Laurel and Hardy themselves ! Their nonstop mugging got tiresome and I felt like hitting Laurel when he did that incredibly loud , whiny , unfunny " crying " . Charley Chase was even WORSE as a " hilarious " prankster at the convention . However I do admit that Mae Busch did have some moments as Hardy's wife . I realize there are people who love these two . Great ! But I just don't like their type of comedy . I was bored and kept looking at my watch ( and this movie is only 69 minutes ! ) . I give this a 1 . |
478,631 | 463,200 | 52,168 | 1 | Sleazy but stupid and plain dull | It starts off with Anita Ekberg being attacked by an escaped lunatic . She survives but is institutionalized . A Dr . Greene ( Harry Townes ) becomes obsessed with her . Next thing we know she's playing a " stripper " called Yolanda . Crime reporter Bill Sweeney ( Philip Carey ) falls for her and Greene doesn't like that . Also there's a murderer around and it seems Yolanda may be his next victim . . . If that sounds disjointed you should see the movie ! Hopelessly confusing and extremely dull piece of work . Ekberg is certainly gorgeous but no actress . Also her " stripping " has her not taking off anything ! Then there's Gypsy Rose Lee as the owner of the " strip " club . At one point she gets on stage and sings ( and " dances " ) to " Put the Blame on Mame " ! Rita Hayworth has nothing to fear . There's also a hint of lesbianism ( very daring for 1958 ) and a constantly barking dog named Devil ! I'm probably making this sound more fun than it is . It's slow , confusing and dull with bad acting ( except for Carey ) and pointless musical numbers in the club to pad out the movie . This might be worth watching if you're an Ekberg fan or you want to see Gypsy Rose Lee - - but it's rough going . A 1 all the way . |
479,535 | 463,200 | 87,957 | 2 | Boring and predictable | By the numbers story of the Kid ( Prince ) , a singer , on his way to becoming a star . Then he falls in love with Apollonia ( Appolonia Kotero ) . But he has to deal with his wife-beating father ( Clarence Williams III ! ) and his own self-destructive behavior . I saw this in a theatre in 1984 . I was no big fan of Prince but I did like the three big songs from this movie - - " Purple Rain " , " Let's Get Crazy " , and " When Doves Cry " . The concert scenes in this movie are great - - full of energy and excitement . Unfortunately that's a VERY small portion of the movie . The story is screamingly obvious and have been done many times before - - and much better too . The subplots are , to put in nicely , badly handled . The love triangle between The Kid , Appolonia and Morris Day was so predictable and tired that I actually became insulted . His wife beating father is needed for the story , but the scenes are so badly handled ( in acting and direction ) that I couldn't believe it . The script is terrible - - lousy dialogue and some truly painful " comedy " routines . And there's tons of misogyny here - - The Kid's mother getting beaten ; The Kid hitting Appolonia and ( for no reason ) Appolonia strips and goes topless to swim in a dirty river . Also Williams ' and Princes ' characters treat women in a horrible manner constantly . The acting is where this movie REALLY fails . Appolonia is sweet and beautiful - - but no actor . And Prince is ( easily ) the WORST actor I've ever seen . His blank face and wooden dialogue delivery are so bad I couldn't believe it . This movie only comes to life during the concert scenes but there aren't really that many . The " dramatic " scenes are so badly acted and handled that they make this movie a chore to sit through . They should have just made this a concert film . I give this a 2 - - only for the music . |
477,722 | 463,200 | 365,270 | 2 | A new low in direct to video sequels | Rich high school girl Britney Harvers ( Susan Ward ) has a dead mother she misses and a lousy stepfather who hates her . He dies in a plane crash and she's left all his millions . But cruel , obnoxious school girl Maya King ( Leila Arcieri ) claims Britney's stepfather was HER father and she deserves all the money . . . Pointless " sequel " to " Wild Things " . It's basically the same exact plot with a few ( minor ) twists and turns . . . . just done with a bad cast and a terrible script . If you've seen the first you don't need to see this - - you already have . It even copies the infamous threesome sex scene from the original ! ( Trust me - - the original is better ) . This is just made to show young , attractive women in bikinis - - wet ones preferably . I'm giving this a 2 because it has some good points . Everybody looks good ( Ward and Arceri are beautiful and Joe Michael Burke has a nice body ) ; the settings themselves are lush ; there's one good performance by Isiah Washington and a nice score . But you're constantly one step ahead of this movie and it gets annoying . See the original - - you'll be much better off . |
477,701 | 463,200 | 56,528 | 2 | Horrendously dubbed Italian vampires | A VERY badly dubbed Italian vampire film from 1962 . A young couple , Louise and Wolfgang ( ! ! ) in the 16th century ( I believe ) are menaced by a vampire . Nice black and white photography and a beautiful score can't save a very dull horror film with lousy dialogue , atrocious dubbing ( I know I'm mentioning it a third time but it IS that bad ! ) and poor acting . More laughs than anything else . I was especially amused that the victims of the vampire have no marks on their necks ! And some of the dialogue had me laughing out loud . However , both Wolfgang and Louise are VERY attractive and Louise wears incredibly low-cut dresses . Still , that's no reason to see this film . Let's put it this way - - - this is a vampire film with a G rating ! What does that tell you ? Avoid - - unless you have insomnia . |
478,404 | 463,200 | 256,415 | 2 | Annoying and unfunny | I really wanted to like this movie - - I love romantic comedy-dramas ( like " Steel Magnolias " ) and I think Reese Witherspoon is a fantastic actress . But I really hated this movie . The plot has Melanie Carmichael ( Witherspoon ) , a successful fashion designer in NY , being proposed to by rich , handsome , wealthy son of the mayor ( Patrick Dempsey ) . She accepts without telling him one teensy problem - - she's still married to Jake ( Josh Lucas ) who she left in Alabama before going to NY . She goes back there to get him to sign the divorce papers . He refuses and things get out of control . Annoyingly predictable , dully made , tiredly politically correct and incredibly unfunny " comedy " . All the characters are cliches and every twist and turn is telegraphed a mile away . And it's just not funny ! I think I laughed twice ( maybe ) . The only thing that made this bearable is the acting . Dempsey , Lucas , Candice Bergen ( as the mayor of NY ! ) , Fred Ward , Mary Kay Place are all just great - - especially Lucas . He's so handsome and full of charisma - - a few closeups of him took my breath away . Best of all is Witherspoon . It's her show and she pulls it off . She's bright , full of energy , beautiful and one hell of an actress . She's got a great future ahead of her . Let's hope next time she gets a better script . |
478,008 | 463,200 | 70,190 | 2 | Horrible is right ! | Two dumb 20 somethings , Jason ( Robin Askwith ) and Judy ( Vanessa Shaw ) travel to a remote castle in the middle of nowhere in England - - him for a vacation , her to meet her aunt ( Ellen Pollock ) . Unfortunately , the place is run by mad Doc Storm ( Michael Gough ) who , with the aunt and his dwarf assistant ( Skip Martin ) have some interesting ideas for the two . The film opens with a great double decapitation and has a creepy moment when Shaw discovers a " dormitory " but that's about it . The plot is vague . . . to put it nicely and has really stupid dialogue and scenes ( i . e . Doc Storm tells Jason all about his experiments out there . . . for no reason at all ) . There's plenty of blood but the " special " effects are pitiful and there's way too much gratuitous female nudity - - one very ugly scene has a nude women brutally beaten to death with a cane . Also the movie moves very slowly and is dull . The acting varies : Askwith is ugly and annoying with a horrible 70s hairstyle ; Shaw is beautiful but wooden ; Pollock looks embarassed . . . only Gough seems to be enjoying himself while chewing the scenery as Storm . Skip Martin , on the other hand , REALLY overacts . . . he makes Gough look like a Method actor ! I give this a 2 for Gough and the cool guys in leather on the motorcycles . Otherwise this is vague , boring and stupid . Don't bother . |
479,413 | 463,200 | 221,583 | 2 | Pretty horrendous | This takes place on Fire Island back in the 1970s . A couple Peter ( Craig Dudley ) and Buddy ( J . Will Deane ) are throwing a 4th of July party at their house . Unfortunately their relationship is falling apart and they have to get ready for a house full of very strange guests . The rest of the movie chronicles the party and what happens between Peter and Buddy . OK - - I'm a gay man but I was 8 back when this was made . If this is a true view of what gay life was in the 1970s , I'm glad I wasn't around . From the puzzling opening credits which shows kids playing in the sand ( ? ? ? ) this movie slides slowly into disaster . There's a guru ( Robert Case ) who talks nonstop about nothing of any importance . I wanted to gag the guy halfway into his first LONG speech . There's the young kid Danny who is there for his first time . There's the lesbian couple ( who do nothing - - except one strips for no reason ) . There's the leather queen . Worst of all is the effeminate man named Jimmy ( Jimmy Foster ) . We're introduced to him and his friend ( whose name I never got ) when they get a flat tire . They basically scream and screech for 10 minutes and have NO idea how to fix a flat . I know some people find this funny but I found it offensive and pretty sad . The party itself is full of people you would never want to know . It's like being dumped in a party full of bad actors playing obnoxious people . With the sole exception of Dudley no one can act . This may be valuable as a portrait of what Fire Island was like in the 1970s . . . but it's pretty dull viewing . This gets a 2 only for the frequent male nudity of some very nice bodies . |
477,689 | 463,200 | 100,879 | 2 | Utterly predictable | Completely ordinary and boring " drama " of a bunch of third year medical students . This story is so by the numbers it's insulting . Every character has they own separate little drama and they're all tied up nice and fine by the end of the movie . Every single story line is predictable ( as are the outcomes ) so it gets incredibly boring just watching it . I also heard there were a lot of errors in terms of the medical dialogue . . . but I can't swear to that . They have a bunch of very talented actors who are just wasted . All of them struggle with their roles but they're given totally one dimensional characters to work with . No actor could make this work . I give this a 2 only for the nude and real hot sex sequence between Adrian Pasdar ( all pumped up ) and Diane Lane ( looking great ) . Still that's no real reason to watch this . Avoid . |
477,839 | 463,200 | 60,672 | 2 | Terrible . . . but not the worst movie ever made | That still belongs to " Salo " . A bunch of Martians ( led by Tommy Kirk ) land on Earth . Their plan is to abduct women , bring them to Mars , and use them to keep their population growing . They each hunt down women successfully but Kirk falls in love with his prey Dr . Bolen ( Yvonne Craig ) . Can he bring her with him or stay on Earth with her ? With a title like that you would expect this movie to be pure camp . Surprisingly , it isn't ! Everything is played straight-faced with absolutely no joking or winking at the audience . Now this movie is terrible - - there's tons of stock footage ( which easily take up most of the running time ) ; a LOONGGGG strip sequence ; dreadful acting ( although Kirk and Craig do try ) ; inept direction ; bad sound ( I couldn't hear some of the dialogue - - no loss ) ; hilariously inappropriate music and horrendous " special " effects ( wait till you see the Martian spaceship ! ) . The script is actually OK - - it's not stupid just dull . There are plenty of dull spots in this movie but still , there are some moments to treasure - - the introduction of Dr . Bolen on TV is hysterical and I got a laugh out of the title of a lecture she was giving - - " Sex and Outer Space " . And it was kind of fun to see how badly Larry Buchanan directed this . And I saw a new print and the colors were bright and strong . So , this is a bad movie , but I've seen worse . From what I've heard even Kirk and Craig to this day admit liking it ! I'm giving it a 2 . |
479,592 | 463,200 | 74,258 | 2 | This wowed me when I was 14 . . . | A couple ( Oliver Reed and Karen Black ) , their young son ( Lee Montgomery ) and aunt ( Bette Davis ! ) become caretakers for this huge Gothic mansion , in the middle of nowhere , for the summer . Everything seems fine at first but then Black becomes obsessed with the house , Reed starts having some truly disturbing nightmares and the feisty old aunt begins to get ill . . . and the son is terrified . I saw this at a theatre when I was 14 . It was packed with kids my age ( the film is PG ) and I remember it scaring me . It all led up to a bloody climax which left my audience screaming . Seeing it 30 years later I can't see why I ever liked this . The film is too long , VERY slow and the ultimate resolution struck me as pretty stupid . Nothing really happens until the very end . I was basically bored . Also Reed gives out a horrible performance - - but Davis hated him and kept telling him off - - that could account for it . Davis hated this film . She complained long and loud about the script and would basically tell off the crew and director daily . She only got along with Black and Montgomery . The film gets a 2 for a few reasons - - Davis ( despite hating it ) is good ; Black and Montgomery aren't bad ; the visions Reed has are still pretty scary and the ending really jolts you ( don't see it on commercial TV - - it's edited ) . Still that doesn't save it . Bette Davis completists might want to tune in . . . but that's it . |
479,268 | 463,200 | 65,656 | 2 | Stupid near porn version of Wilde's tale | Oscar Wilde's classic is updated to the 1970s with disastrous results . Dorian Gray ( Helmut Berger ) has his picture painted and , through some circumstances , finds his portrait aging while he stays young and beautiful . It leads him into a decadent life style which is basically sleeping around with any woman he can find . As the years go by his immoral behavior continues while his portrait horribly ages . Caught this on video years ago . Why they tried to turn out a virtually porno version of Wilde's story I'll never know . It's badly directed with stilted dialogue . Berger is very handsome but kind of a blank - - he says all his lines in a monotone . I can't totally blame him - - English isn't his first language . Herbert Lom ( obviously desperate for work ) plays a gay man who lusts after Dorian . Lom said in an interview many years ago that he never saw the movie after reading the reviews when it came out . Marie Lijedahl as Sylvia isn't half bad and spends a considerable amount of time nude . All in all , this is a movie made for guys who want to look at nude women . For some reason Berger is never shown fully nude . In one particularly awkward shot he is naked but his hands are covering his best parts . If you want a good adaptation of Wilde's tale stick to the 1940s version - - avoid this . I give it a 2 only for Berger - - visually he was a good choice for the role . |
477,747 | 463,200 | 18,037 | 2 | Pretty terrible | Cantor Rabinowitz ( Warner Oland ) wants his son Jackie to sing traditional Jewish religious songs at the temple . Jackie likes only signing jazz and , after his father beats him , he runs away from home . Twenty years later he's changed his name to Jack Robin ( Al Jolson ) and is a jazz signer . . . albeit not successful . He then meets beautiful Mary Dale ( May McAvoy ) who helps him become a big star . But his father is dying and wants him to sing for him before he dies and ( wouldn't you know it ? ) this happens on the opening night of his big break . Yawn . What a cornball story ! This was old even in 1927 when this was made . It's more funny now than dramatic . The clichés come flying left and right - - some of them were so overdone I couldn't believe it ! I was rolling my eyes and smirking almost nonstop . If this wasn't one of the first talking pictures and didn't have Jolson in it , it would have disappeared long ago . Also this ( technically ) isn't an all talking picture . It has sequences of dialogue and signing from Jolson but it's mostly a silent with title cards and everything . Cornball story aside the acting didn't impress me . I'm no fan of Jolson . I do admit his acting wasn't too bad but I hated his songs and didn't think he was much of a singer . When the sound came on when he was signing I kept hoping it could switch back to silent ! Also he does two numbers in black face . I realize that was considered OK back in 1927 but it comes across as appalling and racist today . The rest of the actors overact to a startling degree - - but that was how silent film stars DID act so I can't fault them . A real bad film but I give it a 2 because it is historically important . Anyone who interested in cinema should see it at least once . |
477,768 | 463,200 | 382,077 | 2 | Hide from this movie - - don't " seek " it out | David Callaway ( Robert DeNiro ) and his young daughter Emily ( Dakota Fanning ) are trying to deal with the suicide of his wife ( Amy Irving ) . They move to a remote country house to get away from everything . Then Emily has this new friend named Charlie - - who no one can see . But then Callaway starts to wonder who Charlie is when strange things begin to happen . And how about the creepy neighbors next door ? Dull , pointless and stupid . This is a simple by the numbers horror film that moves painfully slow and telegraphs every ' scare ' . If this was just a low budget horror film it would be easier to dismiss - - but this is a big budget horror film with good actors by a major studio . I really want to know how they got these actors to sign up for this . For starters this plot has been done many times before . . . and better . This movie adds nothing new to the formula . There is a very undeveloped subplot about some creepy neighbors . It actually looked very interesting but is dumped completely at the end with no resolution . Also this movie treats the audience like idiots . At one point Fanning has to run for her life . She has a choice - - go outdoors or upstairs . Guess which one she picks . At another part the chief of police ( Dylan Baker ) is investigating the house when the lights go out . Of course he should leave the house . Instead he checks out everything with a flashlight ! It's really hard to care about people who are such idiots . And I saw the ' surprise ' ending coming halfway through the movie . The acting wavers . DeNiro ( surprisingly ) is not that good . He isn't terrible - - it's just he's capable of being better . Fanning is excellent as Emily . She's one of the few things that kept my interest . Very well-done , believable performance . Famke Janssen is wasted as a family friend . And I think she should have guessed out what was going on long before they tell us . Irving is hardly in the movie ( a good thing ) and she is cruelly photographed . Elisabeth Shue ( a wonderful actress ) has absolutely nothing to work with . It's always good to see Robert John Barker ( next door neighbor ) but he only has two short scenes . The R rating is not necessary . There's no sex or nudity , only one instance of swearing and the murders ( both of them ) are just a little bloody . I'm assuming it got the R because it does deal with a little girl dealing with her mother's suicide pretty grimly . All in all this is just a dull horror film that will be forgotten in a few months . Skip it . |
477,494 | 463,200 | 356,150 | 2 | Stupid doesn't begin to cover this | High school graduate Scott Thomas ( Scott Mechlowicz ) accidentally insults his online German girlfriend . She blocks his email so he decides to trek to Europe with his idiot friend Copper ( Jacob Pitts ) to find her and apologize ( ? ? ? ? ) . Along the way they run into two friends - - Jamie ( Travis Wester ) and Jenny ( Michelle Trachtenberg ) who join them in their " hilarious " misadventures . Man - - what a STUPID movie ! It's easy to see why this bombed at the box office . Let's go over what passes for comedy in this movie . They first arrive in London and run into a vicious soccer team - - no laughs here . Next up is France when has a horrifically unfunny mime robot fight ( don't ask ) - - this sequence just is beyond belief . Then there's a train ride which throws in some tired homophobic jokes ; then there's the all nude male beach - - again not funny ) ; then some MORE homophobic train ride jokes . Next is Amsterdam which has a predictable S & M sequence , a dumb oral sex sequence and a stupid drug sequence - - ALL unfunny . Then we get to Eastern Europe with an Abstinence " Joke " , incest played for laughs . FINALLY we get to Germany with humorous Nazi touches ( ! ! ! ! ) . Then off to Rome to give us pitiful Catholic humor . THEN it leads to an ending which is so beyond the bounds of reality my brain started to hurt . I saw this with two friends - - we were all equally appalled . We wanted to stop watching but couldn't . . . it was like watching a train wreck . You WANTED to turn away but can't . The humor wasn't gross-out - - that's about the only good thing I can say about this . It also wasn't funny . There's also the tired gratuitous female nudity and even some male nudity ( quite a bit in the unrated version ) . I'm giving this a 2 instead of a 1 for a few reasons . There WAS some nice directorial touches and a great music score . Also Mechlowicz was pretty good ( and very handsome ) and Wester nicely underplayed his " nerd " role . And I've always liked Trachtenberg ( even though she's given nothing to do ) . Still this is a stupid , unfunny movie . What was so astounding is that even the predictable punchlines were done wrong ! A must miss . |
478,109 | 463,200 | 74,540 | 2 | Kind of sad . . . and dull | Some white stuff from the ground turns animals giant-size on a remote island . Soon a bunch of people are battling giant wasps , chickens , earthworms and rats to get off the island . It sounds interesting but this is actually a pretty pathetic adaptation of ( according to the credits ) " a portion of Food of the Gods by H . G . Wells " . The sound you hear now is Wells spinning in his grave . The dialogue is just DREADFUL ( some of the lines were so bad I couldn't believe I was hearing them ) and the script is just silly . As for the acting - - Marjoe Gortner was bad but Belinda Balaski and Pamela Franklin ( looking fantastic in her last film to date ) were very good despite their lines . The bit where Franklin tells Gortner she wants to make love to him ( when they're holed up in a house surrounded by giant rats ) had me helpless with laughter ! It's also really sad to see two fine actors - - Ida Lupino and Ralph Meeker - - reduced to crap like this . Their performances are very bad too - - Meeker the worst of the two . The special effects are mostly horrendous - - the giant chicken will have you howling and the wasps are ( very ) obviously superimposed . However the sequence with the giant earthworms was VERY bloody and admittedly a high point . And some of the rat effects weren't bad . Also there are a number of extremely bloody attacks by the rats - - I'm really surprised this got by with a PG . The attacks are the only reason I'm giving this a 2 . And when the attacks aren't on the movie is dull dull dull ! Scattered unintentionally hilarious dialogue does not compensate . Worth watching for the attacks - - otherwise a boring , silly and sad film . |
479,336 | 463,200 | 78,382 | 2 | Pretty dreadful | One night in a disco involving various characters and situations . Most people like this for its accurate representation of the Disco Era . Its all here - - the terrible clothes , music and casual drug taking . It also has a great five minute or so bit where Donna Summer belts out " Last Dance " ( a deserved Academy Award winner for Best Song ) . But one good bit does not excuse the rest of the movie . It's badly written and badly acted full of characters you could care less about . The dramatic moments come across as unintentionally hilarious while the intentional comedy is downright painful . It's hard to believe that Jeff Goldblum , Debra Winger and Donna Summer still had careers after this fiasco . I caught it on cable TV a few years ago and it was a real chore watching the whole thing ! The only thing I could think of after was TGIO - - Thank God It's Over ! For a much better and more accurate representation of disco rent " Saturday Night Fever " ( the R rated version ) . Avoid , at all costs , this mess . Gets a 2 just for " Last Dance " . |
477,919 | 463,200 | 265,105 | 2 | Almost bad / good | A vampire ( sort of ) fraternity on a college campus tries to recruit young , innocent Chris . Horrible . It looks great and is well-directed ( this has to be seen letter-boxed ) but the script is full of stunningly bad lines and ( with one exception ) ALL the acting is horrendous . And the script ! The main character Chris ( our " hero " ) comes off as an obnoxious jerk - - you could care less that he's going to be attacked . And the fraternity leaves a book describing their whole history out in the open for anyone to read ! Chris ' roomie is the sole saving grace in the picture . As played by Josh Hammond he's actually very funny and full of life . He's the only bright spot here . Some posters complained about the guys being in their underwear all the time . Please ! This doesn't happen until an hour into the movie ! And it's shot from the waist up . And the guys do look good - - they were hired for their looks and bodies , not talent . There's plenty of homoeroticism here . I'm giving it a 2 for good direction and the handsome , hunky guys . In the special edition DVD there's an audio commentrary by director David DeCoteau and " actor " Bradley Stryker . It's fun , lively and more interesting than the movie itself . In a particularly amusing aside director DeCoteau says the homoeroticism was unintentional ! Right ! |
478,794 | 463,200 | 940,654 | 2 | Easy to see why this failed ! | Lauren Tewes and Vicki Lawrence play buddies looking for men . Twews plays the gullible young perky one . Lawrence plays the old more sensible one . I think I watched half of one episode and was truly astounded at how UNfunny it was ! It opens with the two of them walking into a bar . They observe a guy bending over and make comments on his butt ! THAT'S just the opening . . . and the jokes actually get worse ! When the best lines are about a guys butt you know you're in trouble . Lawrence and Tewes are ( were ) both good comedic actresses but even their talents couldn't save this . Tewes was ( I believe ) hooked on drugs at this time so she has an excuse for acting badly . Lawrence looks and acts like she's constricted by the material . Only of interest for seeing what Tewes and Lawrence did after " The Love Boat " and " The Carol Burnett Show " . |
479,657 | 463,200 | 52,929 | 2 | Not bad-good , just BAD ! ! ! ! | Very boring , very stupid and just plain lousy movie about invisible invaders taking over Earth by possessing dead bodies . The idea sounds intriguing and the cameo by John Carradine at the beginning gives one hope , but it very quickly falls to pieces . Even at 67 minutes this movie is slllooooowwwww ! All the acting sucks - - the worst being by Pelner ( ? ? ) . Notice how she handles every development in the film - - she puts her hands to the sides of her face and her mouth hangs open . The first time it's OK , second time OK , third time it gets on your nervers , every time thereafter makes you want to either laugh out loud or kick in your TV set ! ( I had both reactions ) . It's not so bad it's good - - it's too boring for that . The only way to make it through this film is get a bunch of friends , drink LOTS of beer , then watch the movie . You'll probably enjoy it more drunk than sober ! Bottom of the barrel fare . |
478,931 | 463,200 | 280,665 | 2 | DePalma hits rock bottom | Jaw droppingly bad movie about a jewel thief ( Rebecca Romijn ) committing a robbery with others - - but she takes the jewels and leaves them high and dry . She pops up years later with a totally new identity . . . but can't escape her past . Somehow Antonio Banderas gets involved in this . Hoo boy ! This is just beyond bad . Boring , stupid and badly acted ( although Romijn has her moments - - Banderas appears drugged - - maybe he was ) . The story is pretty predictable and ( aside from some typically nice directorial touches from DePalma ) there's nothing even remotely interesting here . And , by the end of the movie , DePalma throws in a twist that is SO bad and clichéd I seriously thought he was kidding . I saw this at the movies and I was just so upset by it I yelled out , " Oh come ON ! " Not one person told me to be quiet . Also Banderas doesn't pop up in this until the movie is almost half over - - a wise choice . I give this a two only for some nice shots - - otherwise this is an all time career low for everybody involved . Avoid . |
478,590 | 463,200 | 74,815 | 2 | Hated the original , but this is even WORSE ! | I think " Rosemary's Baby " is the most overrated horror film out there . Not scary , interesting or much of anything . It's reasonably well-directed and Ruth Gordon was wonderful but that's about it . But this sequel makes it look like " Gone With the Wind " ! I caught this on TV back when I was 14 . Unfortunately , I still remember it . From what I remember Rosemary's baby Andrew is now grown up and the coven wants him to start taking over ( the world that is ) . But there are forces trying to stop it . . . and Andrew is having doubts himself . . . I'm giving this a 2 for a few reasons : Gordon is in this ( and still very good ) ; Stephen McHattie was actually pretty good as Andrew and there is one spooky moment at the beginning with Rosemary ( Patty Duke ) being " kidnapped " by a bus . . . with no driver . Other than that it's dull , silly and needless . The original didn't NEED a sequel ! Ira Levin's book followup in 1999 wasn't much better . Tune in for the beginning with Duke . . . then tune out . Not worth the effort . |
478,683 | 463,200 | 469,222 | 2 | Simplistic and boring | Purported documentary that tries to examine sci-fi films of the 1950s and how they affected ( and REflected ) America . Steven Spielberg , George Lucas , Ridley Scott and James Cameron are interviewed and Mark Hamill narrates . Pretty terrible . The " insights " that are given are nothing new - - for instance - - the Cold War and the threat of nuclear war affected a whole generation of children . Well-duh ! They try to cover all of the different sub genres of sci-fi films of the 1950s - - the big bug movies , invaders from space movies etc etc . That's good but they choose the most obvious films and they've been over analyzed to death already . It was cool seeing clips from " Rocketship X-M " , " Destination Moon " , " Forbidden Planet " , " The Thing " and " The Day the Earth Stood Still " but everything the directors said was so incredibly obvious to any viewer that it's insulting . Even though it's under an hour I was thoroughly bored 30 minutes in . This gets a 2 for some of the clips but nothing else . |
477,824 | 463,200 | 469,111 | 2 | Not as bad as the first sequel . . . but that's faint praise | This takes place in Broken Ridge CO on July 4th . A bunch of brainless teenagers start talking about the Fisherman ( Ben Willis from the first two films ) who , according to this , attacks and kills teenagers who have a dark secret that happened on July 4th . Naturally these morons decide to play a joke . . . and someone is accidentally killed . They all agree NOT to tell anyone . Then a year later they start getting the message " I Know What You Did Last Summer " and are being killed off one by one . By the numbers sequel which is basically a complete rehash of the original . There's Amber ( Brooke Nevin ) who stands in for Jennifer Love Hewitt . There's her ex-boyfriend Colby ( David Paetkau ) doing Ryan Phillippe . Then there's Zoe ( Torrey DeVitto ) a punk version of Sarah Michelle Gellar . And there's Lance ( Ben Easter ) who has NO personality at all - - just like Freddie Prinze Jr . The film briskly goes through its premise but it's so predictable it gets annoying . Add to that some terrible acting and ADD direction that keeps jumping all over the place . There are also countless " jump " scares and the revelation of who the killer was is particularly stupid . Actress Nevin deserves credit for explaining it without laughing or rolling her eyes . However this does have some things going for it . Some of the acting is good ( Nevin and Easter particularly ) ; Paetkau is muscular and shirtless a few times ; some of the killings were nice and gory and I was honestly never bored ( it clocks in under 90 minutes ) . Also it's not as insulting to your intelligence as the last one was ( that's still the worst horror film I ever saw ) so I give it a 2 for that . Still , you can safely skip this . |
478,303 | 463,200 | 59,914 | 2 | A real snooze | This takes place in the future . There's a space station under the watch of Commander Mike Halsted ( Tony Russel ) with buddy Jake ( Franco Nero ) and ex-girlfriend Lt . Gomez ( Lisa Gastoni ) . Obnoxious Dr . Numi ( Massimo Serato ) is conducting some mysterious experiments . It seems he's shrinking people down for . . . some reason . To be honest I had trouble staying awake ! Sleep inducing mess full of bad dubbing , hilarious special effects ( you HAVE to see the obvious miniatures they use ) , an incomprehensible plot , gorgeous vapid babes , square-jawed bland heroes and just tons of bad lines . " Helium head " had me roaring ! Unfortunately it's more boring than funny and I kept dozing off . There is a great fight sequence between three guys and three women ( the women are winning ! ) and a fantastic ending but that's not enough to save this . Dubbed and dull . Drink lots of coffee if you expect to make it through this one ! A 2 . |
478,610 | 463,200 | 82,812 | 2 | I remember when they were filming this in Boston . . . | it was great ! Lots of excitement . . . too bad the movie sucks . Someone is killing women in a school in Boston . That's basically it for the plot . It's slow , dull with no gore ( except for one very unpleasant scene ) . The only reasons I'm giving this a " 2 " instead of a " 1 " are : Rachel Ward - - she's very good ( despite the material ) and extremely beautiful and Boston itself . It looks great on the screen and the sequences in Beacon Hill perfectly capture the look and feel of the area . Ward herself was once asked about this movie . Her response ? She said it was a terrible movie that she was dreadful in ( I disagree with the last part of that statement ) . So , it's ALMOST worth seeing for Ward and Boston . Basically this is a boring , dull slasher movie . Avoid . |
477,354 | 463,200 | 49,013 | 2 | Sleep-inducing mess | The title refers to a drug used that make men appear dead . . . but they can be revived . In 1872 London , Sir Joel Cadman ( Basil Rathbone ) is experimenting with the brains of others to cure his comatose wife of some brain ailment she has . He uses the " Black Sleep " on his victims and , after they've been used , keeps them chained up and disfigured in hiding . But his assistant Dr . Ramsey ( Herbert Rudley ) is horrified by what he's doing . . . What a mess ! Boring and plodding done on cheap sets with some truly laughable dialogue and questionable scientific conclusions . Also this film has Bela Lugosi ( as a mute butler ) , Lon Chaney ( as a mute strangler ) , Tor Johnson ( mute also ) and John Carradine ( who , unfortunately , is not mute ) totally wasted in small roles . Only poor Lugosi tries to act - - Chaney , Johnson and Carradine ( understandably ) don't look like they give a damn . Rathbone walks through his role . Only Rudley and Akim Tamiroff give good performances . This movie has a great horror film cast and totally wastes them on a truly stupid script . This gets a 2 for the cast only . I seriously had trouble staying awake ! Avoid . |
477,229 | 463,200 | 166,811 | 2 | Only worth seeing for hunky Esai Morales | He's the only reason to see this film . He gives a very good performance - - much better than this crap deserves . He's very handsome and very talented - - he deserves better than this . Also depressing is to see Malcolm McDowell in this . He's another talented actor who deserves better but , like Esai , he gives a very good performance . So , if you're fans of either of them you might want to watch . Otherwise , stay away . One more complaint - - couldn't we have had more scenes of Esai shirtless ? |
479,289 | 463,200 | 82,118 | 2 | Makes " Friday the 13th " look like Shakespeare ! | One of the earliest rip-offs of " Friday the 13th " and easily one of the worst . It starts at a summer camp where a bunch of the kids pull a prank on a sadistic counselor . Something goes wrong and he's badly burnt . After spending five years ( ! ! ! ) in a hospital where skin grafts didn't work he's released . He goes back to camp to settle a few scores . . . with hedge clippers in hand . Notorious ( in its time ) for being cut to ribbons by the MPAA to get an R rating . Virtually all the gore was gone - - a full minute of footage was cut ! Now its out on DVD in its full uncut glory with Tom Savini's graphic and realistic gore in full view . The infamous canoe sequence gives you a REAL jolt ! It doesn't make a bit of sense but it works . The gore gives this a 2 - - but everything else about this movie sucks . The story is dull ( even by 1981 standards ) ; there are continuity lapses galore ( the sequence between Glazer and Sally changes from day to night at a hilarious pace ) ; the characters are all one-dimensional and with the sole exception of Brian Backer the acting sucks . Also there is the expected pointless nudity - - but this goes too far , even for a slasher movie . We get countless full frontal shots of a woman who goes skinny-dipping and then is forced to stumble through the woods to find her clothes ! It might be erotic at first but it gets very disturbing . Also the ending has two characters walking around the forest evading the killer - - for 20 SOLID MINUTES ! ! ! It gets boring real quick and it's obvious that the actors are continuously passing the same areas again and again . There is a nice score but it's repeated so often you're tired of it by the end end of the movie . This also has a young Jason Alexander ( with hair ! ) and is the film debut of Holly Hunter ( good luck trying to spot her ) . But , aside from seeing those two and the very realistic and disturbing gore , there's nothing here . I'm glad it's out in a beautiful wide screen print uncut for its admirers though . I can seriously only give this a 2 . |
479,194 | 463,200 | 91,310 | 3 | Justly forgotten | Boring , utterly predictable soap opera . Mary Tyler Moore is married to Ted Danson who's having an affair with Christine Lahti . Moore is friends with Lahti and doesn't know about the cheating . Danson dies in an accident and Lahti is pregnant with his baby . YAWN ! I'm ashamed to admit I paid money to see this in a theatre in 1986 . I liked all three stars but even their considerable talents couldn't pull this off . I CONSTANTLY knew what was going to happen . Like another poster said - - this plays like a PG-rated Lifetime movie . It does have Lahti swearing nonstop at one point and even Moore lets loose once ! Also there's a pointless shots of topless women playing football ( ! ! ! ) . Other than that it's TV friendly . The only good thing about this was Timothy Gibbs playing Moore and Danson's teenage son . Very handsome and quite a good actor . That aside there's nothing to recommend this . You've seen it before . . . and done better . It's obviously been forgotten . Skip it . |
479,034 | 463,200 | 73,739 | 3 | Pretty dull | Remake of the 1946 classic . Helen Mallory ( Jacqueline Bisset ) has been rendered mute after seeing her husband and only child die in a fire . She is now staying at her uncle's mansion and getting treatment . However there is a killer on the loose who kills people who have disabilities . Is Helen next ? Pointless redo . The original is a classic - - what's the point or remaking it ? I caught this on TV late at night back in the 1970s . I had seen the original and was interested in seeing how this stood up . Sadly it turned out to be pretty bad . Despite a great cast ( Bisset , Christopher Plummer , John Phillip Law , Elaine Stritch ) this is pretty slow-moving and dull . There's virtually no suspense or atmosphere and it looks like it was made on a very low budget which hurts . The cast tries their best but even their considerable talents can't liven this up . You can safely skip this one . See the original . I give it a 3 because the cast does try and Bisset looks stunning ( as always ) . |
477,266 | 463,200 | 56,347 | 3 | What a mess . Terence Fisher directed THIS ? | Reworking of " Phantom " . Young , beautiful opera singer Christine Charles ( Heather Sears ) begins hearing a voice in the opera house telling her it will teach her how to sing . At the same time " accidents " start plaguing the opera house leading to murder . . . If that synopsis sounds confused you should see this movie ! It's a very elaborate beautiful-looking film . . . but a total mess . First there are ill-conceived changes in the story : The Phantom here does not love Christine , he only wants to teach her to sing ( for no specific reason ) ; there are two totally pointless murders ( especially the rat catchers one ) ; no falling chandelier ( the one at the end doesn't count ) ; the Phantom is given a mute servant ( who's never explained ) . There's plenty of unnecessary comic relief and dull " dramatic " sequences . Even the direction is off ! Hard to believe Fisher directed this . The only well-directed sequence was the one showing the Phantom's origin . Also the famous unmasking scene comes at the very end when the Phatom tears off his own mask ( for no reason at all ) ! ! ! ! ! The acting varies . Michael Gough is great ( as always ) as the slimy Ambrose d'Arcy ; Edward deSouza is OK as Harry Hunter ; Sears is beautiful and has a great singing voice as Christine , but her acting is vague ( not entirely her fault - - the poor woman is given nothing to work with ) . Lom does what he can as the Phantom but he spends 95 % of the movie with a mask on . The script is lousy and ( even at only 84 minutes ) the film seems padded . ( Note : this is the original version I saw - - not the TV one with 6 additional minutes added on ) . Dull and pointless . I give it a 3 for the elaborate production and Gough . Not worth seeing at all . Considered one of Hammer's worst films . |
479,697 | 463,200 | 66,115 | 3 | A one of a kind | Myron Breckinridge ( Rex Reed ! ! ! ) gets a sex change from a doctor ( John Carradine - - dead drunk ) and comes out as Myra ( Raquel Welch ) . She then decides to destroy male masculinity ( or something like that ) and proceeds to teach film history at an acting college run by lecherous John Huston ( don't ask ) and break up a young happy couple ( young , handsome , hunky Roger Herren and Farrah Fawcett - - yes THE Farrah Fawcett ) . They took a great novel by Gore Vidal that was unfilmable and , naturally , tried to film it . They also hired an English guy with a decidedly Anti-American attitude and hired a bunch of actors with questionable " talent " ( Welch , Reed ) and embarassed old professionals ( Huston , Carradine , Andy Devine , Jim Backus , Mae West ) , threw it all together and . . . . SURPRISE ! ! ! An absolute disaster . The film got an X rating at its release ( it's been lowered to an R ) , mostly because of a truly tasteless scene in which Welch sodomizes Rusty ( Roger Herren ) and a scene in which Welch attempts to have sex with Fawcett . The movie is very scattershot . . . scenes jump all over the place and people say and do things that make no sense . It's not good at all but I was never bored . Acting varies wildly . . . Reed is horrible . . . really sad . Huston chews the scenery again and again and AGAIN to a nauseating extreme . Welch is actually not bad as Myra but her lines make no sense so you never know what to make of her . West is hardly in the movie ( a blessing ) and it's really kind of sick to hear a woman almost 80 years old cracking sex jokes . Roger Herren ( whatever happened to . . . ) was very young , handsome and not bad as Rusty . Fawcett is OK . It's hard to find things to say about this . . . you just watch it in disbelief . A must see movie - - to believe ! ! ! ! |
477,501 | 463,200 | 52,609 | 3 | Not really a horror film | A bunch of gangsters holed up in a remote ski cabin face off against a giant monster . . . or something . But that doesn't really happen until the last 10 minutes or so ! The rest is just a so-so gangster drama dealing with the members and their interactions . The monster is just incidental to the plot . The movie isn't terrible . The script is OK ( if predictable ) and there's a very good performance by Sheila Carol . Also they manage to actually work up a few scary moments . But the rest of the acting is lousy , there's endless padding ( even at 65 minutes ) and it's never explained what the monster is or how it came into being ( it's suggested once . . . then dropped ) . I've seen worse but I've seen better too . An OK time waster - - nothing more . |
479,102 | 463,200 | 373,051 | 3 | Aside from some cool 3D effects this is pretty terrible | This film says that the events in Jules Vernes " Journey to the Centre of the Earth " really happened . Scientist Treven Anderason ( Brendan Fraser ) , nephew Sean ( Josh Hutcherson ) and sexy Hannah Asgerersson ( Anita Brieren ) travel to the center of the Earth and discover a whole other world . As an adaptation of Vernes ' " Journey . . . " this is a disaster . As a homage to it its STILL a disaster ! Heck , its a disaster just as a movie ! Fraser , Hutcherson and Brieren fall from one disaster to another - - none of them are remotely interesting or thrilling . I was mostly bored and looking at my watch . The science in this film is more than a little questionable and logic stops short halfway through . I saw it in 3D . The 3D effects themselves are incredible and made me jump more than once ( the killer fish especially had me leaping : ) ) but the plot was stupid , the characters were seriously underdeveloped and - - basically - - this was very boring . In 2D this must me a real chore to sit through . If you can turn of your mind COMPLETELY you might like this . Otherwise this is an insultingly stupid and boring film . This gets a 3 for the 3D effects alone . |
477,567 | 463,200 | 70,157 | 3 | Talk about dated ! | I caught this on cable years ago . It was the full uncut version - - I hear some of the DVD versions are edited . Something about a bunch of students ( among them a very young Don Johnson ) going to college and experimenting with sex , sexuality and male / female sex roles . What was probably fascinating in the 1970s is laughably dated today . The " insights " are obvious , the characters are bland , the dialogue is priceless ( " zoom " ) and the 70s hair and fashions are scary . Also the casual sex going on in this is unsettling in this day and age . It's not a good movie but I kept watching - - it's so silly that it's kind of fun . The only thing that made this bearable are the nude scenes . There is plenty of casual male and female nudity - - more than you would see in any modern film . Don Johnson is nude quite a bit and there is full frontal of him - - but back then he had long hair and wasn't exactly in the best of shape . So if you want a few good laughs and some nudity ( in the uncut version ) tune in . But this is really not a good movie . I give it a 3 . |
478,674 | 463,200 | 30,396 | 3 | Dismal attempt at a screwball comedy | Society deb Melsa Manton ( Barbara Stanwyck ) discovers a body late one night in a abandoned house . She goes to get the police but when they return the body is missing . The police don't believe her so Manton and her bunch of ditzy friends try and solve the murder mystery themselves . Reporter Peter Ames ( Henry Fonda ) immediately falls in love with Melsa ( after hating her on sight ) and helps them . Pretty unknown movie . . . and it's easy to see why ! Stanwyck , a wonderful actress , is woefully miscast as Manton . Fonda hated doing this movie and it shows . He's stone-faced throughout . The movie has plenty of potential but the comedy is either stupid or unfunny . Also I found Melsa's bunch of friends incredibly annoying - - they all act like idiots and they're constantly screaming at everything . The romance between Manton and Ames comes out of nowhere and isn't believable for one second . Pauline Kael once wrote that this was written by people who had too much time on their hands . How true ! Halfway through I just turned it off in disgust - - I was bored and sick of having my intelligence insulted . If you want to see a good movie with Stanwyck and Fonda see " The Lady Eve " . This one is hopeless . |
479,072 | 463,200 | 303,732 | 3 | Never saw the first . . . | . . . but I heard it's dreadful . This one isn't much good either . A bunch of annoying camp counselors are closing down a summer camp for the winter . A masked killer suddenly shows up and starts killing them off one by one . Who is it and why ? The movie has its good points - - it's pretty well directed ; the script isn't TOO bad and the murder scenes are VERY gory , brutal and scary . That's about it for compliments . That aside the movie is atrociously sexist - - there is a pointless shower sequence and sex scene in which the women's breasts are shown constantly ( in closeup no less ) . Meanwhile next to nothing is shown by the guys . I'm sick and tired of filmmakers throwing pointless female nudity in a film . This might shock them but not EVERY male viewer wants to see that . I see a horror film to be scared - - not have nudity rubbed in my face . It's degrading . If you're going to show it on the girls why not show what the guys have ? Be an equal opportunity sexist ! That aside the movie is slow-moving , the acting is lousy ( with Kelly Gunning as Mike being the worst ) and the final chase with the killer after the final girl goes on FOREVER ! So I've seen worse but I've definetely seen better . The appalling sexism in this really got to me . I give it a 3 . |
477,276 | 463,200 | 52,279 | 3 | Sure it's bad but it's an early Roger Corman film ! | Robert Vaughn ( hair perfectly styled and all ) plays a teenage caveman ( duh ) who questions why his tribe can't go in a certain part of the wilderness . Defying his elders him and a bunch of dumb friends go and discover a creature who can kill with its touch . . . I only caught this once at 11 : 30 at night on a local TV station . I realized it wasn't good but nonetheless had a fun time watching it . Seeing Vaughn so young and trying to make this silly script work was amusing . The other acting ranged from tolerable to God-awful . It was shot in two days - - and looks it . I do admit there was a twist at the end that I didn't see coming and saves this movie from being a total fiasco . Basically this is only for Corman completists and Vaughn fans . Even Vaughn himself this was one of the worst movies ever made . I give it a 3 . |
477,282 | 463,200 | 66,393 | 3 | Dull dull dull | A horrible biography of composer Edvard Grieg's early life . It was shot on location in Scandanavia . The scenery is just beautiful and the music is fantastic - - even the songs ( based on Grieg's music ) aren't bad . The problem ? Everything else . The story is just non-stop clichés ; the movie is way too long ( 2 hours ) ; the dance numbers are badly staged and hysterically lousy and the acting . . . let's put it this way . . . Florence Henderson gives the best performance ! Grieg himself is played by Toralv Mausted . Ever hear of him ? Didn't think so . There's a reason for this . Also there are over FORTY songs shoved into this movie . Like I said , they aren't bad , but it gets to be a bit much after a while . I'm giving this a 3 for the scenery and music but everything else is hopeless . Easily one of the worst musicals ever made . Too bad - - the scenery is truly gorgeous . |
478,433 | 463,200 | 66,492 | 3 | Sad | Joan was obviously DESPERATE for work to do this . A predictable , boring horror film about a troglodyte ( the missing link ) being found , captured , escaping , wrecking havoc . . . yawn . The story is , to be nice , thin and the makeup on " trog " is so hysterically bad it has to be seen to be believed . It's a guy with a gorilla's head and some fur on . That's it ! I was surprised that people didn't burst out laughing when they first saw him . The only excitement I got out of this was at the beginning when a handsome hunky guy stripped down to his underwear to go into the water to a hidden cave . Some ( tame ) bloody murders pop up and there's some cool stop motion dinosaurs too but that's about it . Crawford , always the pro , manages to give out a good performance but she also appears to be drunk half the time . No surprise there - - I think anyone would have to be bombed to agree to appear in this . Micahel Gough , chewing the scenery as always , gives out the only other good performance as an evil land developer . The scenes between him and Crawford are quite interesting - - in a fun way . But this movie is really a waste of time . Too bad this was Crawfords ' last movie . . . but if it's any consolation her rival Bette Davis'last movie ( " Wicked Stepmother " ) was even worse ! Either way - - avoid . " If you're the missing link you should be missing ! " |
477,786 | 463,200 | 47,898 | 3 | For Ed Wood this is pretty good | Dr . Eric Vornoff ( Bela Lugosi in his last speaking role ) lives in a creepy old house in a swamp . His only companion is his big , hulking and mute servant Lobo ( Tor Johnson ) . It seems the doctor is trying to make a race of atomic supermen to rule the world . Lt . Dick Craig ( Tony McCoy ) and his girlfriend Janet Lawton ( Loretta King ) try to stop him . OK - - the script is silly - - full of terrible dialogue ( the last line especially is a groaner ) . There are huge holes in logic - - does anyone notice that all the people that Vornoff tries to make super keep dying ? With one exception the acting is pretty dreadful - - McCoy got the lead because his dad was a major investor in the film ! The sets are threadbare and wait till you see the rubber octopus ! But , for Ed Wood , this isn't bad . It seems Wood actually learned from earlier films on how to direct and stage scenes . Also the film is only 69 minutes long and doesn't outstay its welcome . The main reason to watch this is Lugosi . He was very ill when he shot it but he gives it his all . In his sequence with Prof . Strowski you actually see how good an actor Lugosi could be . So , all in all , this is no great movie but an OK B movie . |
479,192 | 463,200 | 91,495 | 3 | A really sick one - - what was Almavodor thinking ? | Very violent ( needlessly ) , disturbing and graphic movie dealing with a ex-matador , a very disturbed pupil of his ( an incredibly young Antonio Banderas ) and a female lawyer who has issues of her own . The plot is scattershot ( Banderas ' character disappears completely during the middle of the movie ) , the sex scenes very graphic and sick and there are countless scenes of women dying violent , gory deaths . The " comedy " seems out of place in such a gory movie , characters continuously do stupid things and plot points come flying out of nowhere SPOILER ALERT ( Banderas ' psychic abilities don't pop up until the last 15 minutes ) ! A very poor film . Looks ugly too , but it does fit the subject matter . |
479,590 | 463,200 | 66,518 | 3 | Has its moments . . . but not enough | A ( very ) loose adaptation of the novella " Camilla " . Starts right off with a bang when a female vampire being beheaded but that's about it for graphic violence . It's basically about a beautiful lesbian vampire ( Ingrid Pitt ) who is going after every young attractive woman around . That's about it for the plot . I have ( vague ) recollections about seeing this at a drive-in when I was 8 ! I do remember Pitt attacking some men and a pretty mild ( for now ) lesbian sequence which had quite a reaction from my parents - - my mother was disgusted , my father was enjoying it and I couldn't figure out WHAT was going on ! I figured they were just good friends . I remember liking it . . . but I was very young . Seeing it now it does have its moments . There are some very erotic , beautifully filmed sequences . There's next to no violence but there's plenty plenty of female nudity . As a gay man I found this pretty dull . It contains the same overly familiar Hammer sets found in all their other films and has a pretty vague plot ( who IS that guy in black on the horse ? ) . Also a beheading at the end is SO obviously fake . On the positive side Peter Cushing is on hand to give another good performance and Pitt is very beautiful and is a pretty good actress - - some of her expressions are priceless ! And Jon Finch is handsome and hunky as the main hero . But , all in all , I was bored . The lesbian bits are tame by todays standards ( I heard they were considered pretty extreme for 1970 ) and - - unless you're interested in lesbian vampires or pointless female nudity - - this is pretty dull stuff . I give it a 3 for some of the acting and good direction - - but I can't recommend this . |
477,668 | 463,200 | 83,034 | 3 | Pretty much by the numbers | A family living in a remote part of Africa are trapped in their house by a bunch of hungry lions . I caught this back in 1979 at a theatre . I was told it was a horror film . I completely ignored the PG rating and ended up seeing a pretty bland , generic story of a family that bonds together when their lives are threatened . Yawn . The dialogue and story were completely predictable . Also I got a few laughs when the family realizes they're trapped by lions and , instead of trying to escape , they sit down and start singing a medley of Beatle songs ! By the end of the movie you're rooting for the lions . The only thing that saves this is some good acting by Tom Skerritt , Michelle Phillips and Shawn Stevens . Despite their lines they're pretty good . This is pretty much forgotten - - for good reason ! I give it a 3 for the acting alone . |
479,046 | 463,200 | 87,384 | 3 | Hard to Watch ! ! ! ! | James Roberts ( Rick Springfield ) is the lead singer of a successful band . The band also has his ex-girlfriend Nicki ( Patti Hansen ) who has a nasty disposition and temper . Roberts than meets cute Diana Lawson ( Janet Eilber ) in a car accident . . . and immediately falls in love . Naturally she doesn't know who he is . . . or care . Totally predictable complications ensure . Caught this drivel in a movie theatre way back in 1984 . Springfield was big with teenage girls back then and the theatre was packed with them . More than half walked out before the movie was half over ! It's truly that bad ! The script is moronic and painfully obvious - - all the characters act like idiots . Also the acting wavers . Hansen and Eilber are actually pretty good but Springfield . . . . OK - - he tries . He REALLY tries and it gets embarrassing to watch . He just can't act but , back then , he was a very attractive man so at least he was fun to look at . The movie does have its bright moments - - Springfield bares his butt two or three times ( within PG boundaries ) and I DO like the soundtrack . At that time the song " Love Somebody " was a monster hit and it's played twice in the movie . Also the concert sequences work very well . But the sappy love story and bad acting by Springfield do make this a chore to watch sometimes . I can honestly only give it a 3 . It's not the worst movie I've ever seen but it's definitely down there . And - - really - - teenage fans of his walked out on this ! |
478,955 | 463,200 | 64,747 | 3 | Boring | Dull horror tale about Vincent Price keeping his disfigured brother locked in an attic . He escapes and goes out for revenge . This was advertised as being based on a story by Edgar Allen Poe . Oh really ? Which one ? It has some plot elements from The Premature Burial and that's about it . You would think that a film with Vincent Price and Christopher Lee can't be all that bad . . . but this is . The story is stupid and dull and next to nothing happens in the film . There's a few bloody murders that liven things up a little but that's about it . Also the makeup on the disfigured brother at the end was pathetic . It wasn't even remotely scary - - it just looks like the guy has a bad case of acne ! It all leads to a totally predictable ending . The sole redeeming thing about this is Price giving a very good performance ( as always ) . Christopher Lee surprisingly gives a rare bad one . Basically this is one of Price and Lee's worst horror film . Avoid . |
479,150 | 463,200 | 87,298 | 3 | The Final ( HA ) Chapter | This starts off great with a replay of parts 1-3 then picks up where part 3 ended with Jason supposedly dead . He's carted off to the morgue where he quickly comes to life , kills a few people and is off to Crystal Lake to kill more . I'm not sure it's Crystal Lake - - it's never made clear . Also WHY is he killing these people ? Anyways , there's a family living there now - - Mrs . Jarvis ( Joan Freeman ) , daughter Trish ( Kimberly Beck ) and son Tommy ( Corey Feldman ) . The house next to them is being rented by a bunch of brainless teenagers . You can pretty much figure out what happens next . Some of the negative things about this pic : The body count has been upped - - 6 guys and 6 girls and ( in a hysterically fake scene ) 1 dog ; as in part 3 , characters are just introduced to be killed ( the hitch hiker and the twins ) ; there's a skinny dipping scene which gives us female AND male nudity and Jason seems to know exactly where everyone will be so he can kill them ( I love it when he happens to be outside the house , standing on a ledge to kill someone ! ) Also people scream bloody murder while being killed - - and no one hears a thing . Terrible dialogue and acting too ( as usual ) . There are some good things about the film . . . Tom Savini's special effects are very realistic ; Joan Freeman , Peter Barton and Kimberly Beck aren't bad ( I LOVE how Beck fights Jason back at the end ) ; Feldman is OK too ; the last 20 minutes or so are good ( that's why I'm giving this a 3 ) with some real gruesome stuff when Jason is killed . I'm surprised the MPAA let some of the stuff in the picture . . . but I guess they thought this was it so they let it pass . There are two truly bad mistakes in the film - - When Jason kills the dog notice the dog's " corpse " is wagging its tail as it's thrown out the window ! Joan Freeman's character disappears completely from the movie - - we're left to assume she's dead . They did film a scene where Beck discovers her corpse but it was cut out - - director Joe Zito figures everyone knew she was dead so why bother keeping it in . ( ? ? ? ? ? ? ) This was supposed to be it for the series but it made plenty of money so Paramount continued it . For this series this isn't bad - - but that's not saying much . I give it a 3 . |
478,562 | 463,200 | 60,921 | 3 | Talk about dated ! | A Russian submarine is accidentally grounded off the coat of a small New England island named Gloucester Island ( which is fictional ) . Some Russians ( headed by Alan Arkin ) go to the island to get help . Naturally everybody on the island thinks they're being invaded . " Hilarious " complications ensure . I realize this has is fans - - but most people who like it seem to have fond memories of seeing it as children . I was too young to see it when it came out and I personally find this a bad movie . It found it loud , labored , slow-moving and far too long . Also it isn't funny - - not even once . I think I smirked once but that was it . I also fail to see the humor when all the townspeople grab their guns automatically to go and kill all the Russauins . It all leads up to a horribly manipulative ending which just made me angry . Dull and unfunny . The few saving assets are some beautiful cinematography ( even though it wasn't shot anywhere near New England ) and appealing performances by Alan Arkin ( nominated for this ) and John Phillip Law ( blue eyes blazing ) . Seriously - - THIS was nominated for Best Picture ? ? ? I realize it was a big hit at the time of its release but it doesn't age well at all . I'm being generous by giving this a 3 . |
478,603 | 463,200 | 190,865 | 3 | Vertical Crap | Mountain climber Robin Tunney and two other stock characters , are trapped in an avalanche on a huge montain ( K-4 ) . It's up to her brother ( Chris O'Donnell ) and other stock characters to save them . Not a bad premise . . . unfortunately it's ruined by many things - - - Lousy dialogue - the lines were groan-inducing , totally predictable and boring ; every single person was a stock characters seen in other disaster movies ; and the opening set-up takes a full 40 dull minutes to get started ( the movie runs 2 hr 10 min ) . The scenery is beautiful ( wide screen viewing is essential ) and there are a few really exciting , gripping action sequences but that's only 20 minutes out of a 2 hr + film . Acting - - Tunney does very well with her victim role ; Bill Paxton can do his villain role in his sleep ( and he does ) ; Scott Glenn does what he can with his wise , old mountain climbing man role ( unfortunately , the dialogue sinks him ) . As for O'Donnell - - he's an extremely good-looking man with a nice body - - but he can't act . He's blander than usual in this film and I had no interest in him or his character after a while . If you want to see a good , suspenseful montain-climbing film , rent " Cliffhanger " . |
479,184 | 463,200 | 26,007 | 3 | Stupid , tasteless , boring , offensive . . . | . . . and those are this picture's GOOD qualities ! The Bubsy Berkeley numbers are the only thing worth watching and save this film from being a total bomb . The acting varies from bad ( Doleros del Rio ) to unendurable ( everybody else ) . Jolson and Powell were especially terrible . Powell grins and laughs so much you just want to punch him . Jolson overacts every single line ! I don't care how good of a singer he was - - his acting sucks ! The comedy was either unfunny or tasteless ( there's actually a running joke about a man wanting to commit suicide ! ) . The " dramatic " scenes were dull , dull , DULL ! And the final big number " Going to Heaven on a Mule " was one of the most racist things I've EVER seen in a movie . It has Jolson and other white performers all in black face , happy in Heaven where they eat fried chicken and watermelon ! ! ! ! There's actually a scene where a giant watermelon opens up and there's a white / black guy tap dancing ! If you see it on tape , pick it up just for the Berkeley musical numbers - - fast forward through everything else . I give it a . |
478,588 | 463,200 | 109,255 | 3 | Silly and unfunny | Stupid little German sex comedy about hunky Til Schweiger living with gay Joachim Krol after girlfriend Katja Riemann catches him having sex with another girl . Then she discovers she's pregnant and wants him back . But Krol wants him too . . . On the plus side - - the acting is good and Schweiger ( who is very handsome with a great body ) has frequent nude scenes . That's about it for positives . On the negative side - - the movie is silly ; reinforces the myth of gay men trying to seduce straight guys ; also has us believe that all gay guys LOVE drag ; ALSO tells us that gay guys are sex maniacs ; demonizes the female characters and has no real ending . Also none of the comedy was even remotely funny . The only reason this seems to have been made is to show Schweiger out of his clothes as much as possible ( but no frontal ) . Nothing wrong with that and he IS a good actor . . . but that's not enough to carry the movie . If you can sit through silly dialogue and the dumb plot to see Schweiger nude you won't be disappointed - - otherwise you can skip it . However a previous poster did say the subtitles were badly done - - that might be the problem . If I understood German I might like this better . However , as it stands , I can only give it a 3 . |
478,461 | 463,200 | 57,093 | 3 | Boy - - my taste must have been LOW as a kid : ) | I remember seeing this a few times on TV as a kid . I vaguely remember liking it and had an amusing time hearing Judy Garland doing vocals for an animated cat ! Seeing it now ( about 30 years later ) I can't figure out WHAT I ever liked about this . The story is dull , silly and trite and the animation is ( and I'm being nice ) 4th rate . I've seen episodes of " The Flintstones " with better animation that this ! The songs were entirely forgettable , the characters were ALL annoying and it was a struggle to make it through to the end . This is getting three stars just for the vocals of Garland and Robert Goulet - - they even make the bland songs sound OK . Very young children might like this but anyone over the age of eight will be bored out of their minds ! Easy to see why this is mostly forgotten . |
477,601 | 463,200 | 92,099 | 3 | Top crap | Boring , predictable groaner about a cocky Air Force cadet who needs to learn a few life lessons before becoming a great pilot . Every single cliché is here - - the close buddy that dies so Cruise can " grow up " ; the aeronautics instructor ( or whatever Kelly McGillis played ) in love with him ; the booming tops 40s soundtrack ; the final aerial dogfight where Cruise saves his companions - - - YAWN ! ! ! This movie was a huge hit in 1986 because it gave audiences something safe and predictable . Also the movie has a horrendous performance by Cruise ( he's always bad but he REALLY sucks here - - he grins his way through the entire performance ) , an even worse one by McGillis ( SHE has a PhD in aeronautics ? ? ? ? Hah ! More like one in makeup ! ) , a total lack of sexual chemistry between them , a good ol ' buddy who you know is dogmeat from frame 1 ( Anthony Edwards giving the only good performance ) , another cocky young hothead ( Val Kilmer sneering away ) , a tough but kind leader ( Tom Skerritt , looking totally lost ) and a film that is , basically , an Air Force recruiting poster . Also dogfights that play like video games and the film seems to make war look like kids play . There's also a totally hysterical line when McGillis ( who is about 5 inches taller than Cruise ) looks DOWN at him and breathes , " When I first saw you you were 7 feet tall ! " A total waste of time - - I'm giving it a three cause I like some of the songs ( especially " Take My Breath Away " ) . So buy the soundtrack . . . skip the movie . |
478,456 | 463,200 | 95,836 | 3 | Just dull | An ( allegedly ) accurate account of what happened when heiress Patricia Hearst ( Natasha Richardson ) was kidnapped by a terrorist group . They brainwashed her and she ended up helping them commit crimes . Plenty of people have gone on and on and on ( and on ) about the politics of the movie . I can't really comment on that since I was only 12 when she was kidnapped and knew little about it . I saw this movie with no preconceived notions about whether it was true or false or if the politics were accurate . So ( as a movie ) this fails badly . It's flatly directed , badly acted ( except for a few exceptions ) and has a script that has some of the dumbest lines I've ever heard . All the " revolutionaires " ideals came across as extremely questionable and I actually started to laugh when Ving Rhames started spouting off about it . This is not to say that Rhames was bad ( he was actually pretty good ) but the lines he's given are just utter drivel . The only good thing about this is Richardson . Considering she has nothing to work with she's incredible . She convincingly fakes an American accent and Hearst's pain , confusion and terror come through . Still , her acting can't save this terrible movie . This bombed in 1988 and has since sunk without a trace . I heard that Hearst herself saw it and hated it . This really isn't worth your time . Skip it . |
479,670 | 463,200 | 91,969 | 3 | Another crappy 80s horror film | The school nerd Marty ( Simon Scuddamore ) is sexually humiliated by a bunch of classmates and then is in a lab explosion ( set by them also ) where his face is scarred by acid . Years later all the jerks get invited back to the high school ( since closed ) for a reunion . What they didn't know is that Marty is inviting them back to kill them . Then a storm starts , they're locked in the school and Marty starts to take revenge . Pretty silly . The murders are inventive and gory and there are some creepy atmospheric shots of the deserted school - - but that's about it . The humiliations inflicted on Scuddamore are more than cruel ( he's stripped , has his head dunked in a toilet AND gets burnt ) and are just uncomfortable to watch . Considering Scuddamore committed suicide shortly after this was released make them almost impossible to view . Also this movie goes out of its way to have nudity . There is full frontal of Scuddamore ( surprising for any movie ) but one girl decides to take a bath alone . . . AFTER they know a killer is wandering around after them ! And then there's the couple that has to have sex . This is the type of film where the killer seems to know where everybody is going to be and can teleport himself to them . It ends with a twist which had me groaning and rolling my eyes then ANOTHER twist which had me wanting to throw something heavy at the TV ! The acting is bearable - - not good , but bearable . Caroline Munro is in this too . She's a very beautiful woman but not much of an actress . This gets a 3 for some effectively gory murders and atmosphere . Otherwise it's run of the mill and forgettable . Scuddamore's tragic suicide has given this film more attention than it deserves . |
479,499 | 463,200 | 39,800 | 3 | Filmed in Natural Color ! | Bela Lugosi's only color feature film . VERY strange movie about unhappily married Laura ( Molly Lamont ) convinced that her husband and his father are trying to scare her to death . ( Why they are supposedly doing it is kind of vague ) In strolls the mysterious Prof . Leonide ( Bela Lugosi ) and his mute , deaf midget friend ( Angelo Rossitto ) for no real reason . Then there's private cop Bill Raymond ( Nat Pendleton ) casually walking around the house looking for a murder ! Not a good movie - - badly directed with some of the worst color designs I've ever seen in a movie . The acting ranges from unbelievably hammy ( Lugosi ) to bad ( everyone else ) . The plot is full of holes and unexplained people and circumstances - - I'm still not sure what Rossitto is doing in this . Also someone in a blue mask keeps looking in windows - - but everyone says it's a GREEN mask ! Love the part when George Zucco listens to the heartbeat of a woman who fainted and immediately declares she's under hypnosis ! None of it makes much sense but - - in a way - - this is lots of fun . Just silly enough to enjoy and keep you interested . The " explanation " at the end is just ridiculous . The color is actually pretty strong in the print I saw and it's all narrated by a dead woman ! It's bad ( that's why I give it a 3 ) but oddly compelling . A must for bad film fans . |
478,971 | 463,200 | 94,715 | 3 | Just horrid | Film follows the friendship of two very different women over the course of their lives - - loud , tacky , driven CC ( Bette Midler ) and quiet , demure Hilary ( Barbara Hershey ) . CC will do everything to become an actress and singer - - Hilary isn't sure what she wants . This is commonly referred to as a " chick flick " . Now I LIKE those types of movies and I think Midler and Hershey are great actresses ( and singer in Midler's case ) but I REALLY hated this film . It starts off OK but slowly falls to pieces . At the halfway point I started to truly despise this movie . There's HORRIBLE dialogue and such clichéd situations and characters that I was literally rolling my eyes a few times . I began to hate it more and more and by the end I was fed up completely . The movie is so completely obvious I was truly shocked . When a character is diagnosed with a fatal disease I came close to throwing something at my TV screen . And it takes her FOREVER to die ! The movie has at least three different endings - - all bad - - and the REAL ending is so horribly manipulative I was stunned ! Many people said they cried at the end - - I did too - - tears of JOY that this dreck was finally OVER ! ! ! It's really astounding that people think this is a great movie . It WAS a huge hit in 1988 - - that's kind of sad . I'm giving it a 3 instead of a 1 for a few reasons - - It was great to see Lainine Kazan and John Heard ( although they're given nothing to do ) ; " Wind Beneath My Wings " is a great song ; and Hershey and Midler were good despite the material . Midler especially made the most of her few good lines . But this is a morbid , sick , depressing and insulting movie . Avoid it like the plague ! |
479,436 | 463,200 | 25,263 | 3 | Pretty bad | MGM hodgepodge of Jimmy Durante throwing a big party for everybody in Hollywood . No major stars show up - - we get the Three Stooges , Laurel & Hardy , Durante and Lupe Velez . I didn't recognize anyone else - - they were probably unknowns ( for good reason ) . The movie contains annoyingly unfunny jokes and some truly dreadful songs and choreography . The only things that save this from being a total disaster are Laurel & Hardy's " battle " with Lupe Velez and a wonderful color Disney cartoon called " The Hot Chocolate Soldier " . It's a beautiful , very colorful cartoon that gives the movie a huge boost . Otherwise , the movie is a colossal bore . There's no director credited - - what does that tell you ? |
477,523 | 463,200 | 67,124 | 3 | Pretty poor | Comedy about two warring Mafia gangs in Brooklyn . Purportedly the original book is hilarious and this movie has a great cast - - but something went wrong . The jokes aren't very funny and the cast just seems to be unable to put across the punchlines . Flat direction doesn't help either . I'm only giving it a 3 for Leigh-Taylor Young and Robert DeNiro ( who are both very good and play a very appealing couple ) and Jo Van Fleet who has the movie's only funny lines in a very broad , over the top , amusing manner . But , all in all , this really isn't worth seeing . |
478,888 | 463,200 | 331,468 | 3 | Advertised as a horror film . . . it's not | What it is is a slow , pointless and VERY obvious murder mystery . A family called the Tilsons ( Sharon Stone , Dennis Quaid and the two kids ) decide to move from NYC to the country . They buy a huge house called Cold Creek Manor and decide to renovate it . Things are going OK , then the former owner Dale Massie ( Stephen Dorff ) shows up and offers to help rebuild the place . It seems he was sent to jail and lost it . Then things start to happen . . . It's totally by the numbers . You've seen this plot before and it's obvious what's going on from the very beginning . To make matters work the movie is quiet - - TOO quiet ! And it moves at a VERY slow pace - - this movie does not need to run 118 minutes . Who thought director Mike Figgis was the right man for this job ? ALL his moves are quiet and slow - - you don't need that in a murder mystery . . . especially in an OBVIOUS one like this ! And , at one point , the young son is reading some poem from a book found in the house . Later on he yells the poem at Dorff who seems VERY upset about it and then . . . it never comes up or is explained . Sad . It has some pluses - - the photography is nice and it is good to see Stone back in movies after a 3 year break - - too bad she's stuck in a crappy role . Even Quaid ( a very good actor ) seems lost in this . And what the hell is Juliette Lewis doing here - - except giving another bad performance . Only Dorff is good . He's handsome , all pumped up ( nice shirtless scenes ) and plays his role to perfection . He's great - - but he can't carry the whole movie . Too bad . This movie showed some real promise . All I can give it is a 3 . |
478,907 | 463,200 | 36,179 | 3 | Pretty lousy | A Superman cartoon from the 1940s - - and one of the worst if not THE worst ! Dr . Jordan ( who studies Egyptian mummies ) is found murdered and his assistant Jane Hogan is unjustly accused of it . Clark Kent gets a call from a colleague of Dr . Jordan who is convinced Jordan was killed for violating a mummy's grave by opening it . He goes to the museum to check this out ( with Lois secretly following him ) and finds out the truth . But ( through circumstances too ridiculous to tell ) he revives THREE mummies who all attack the professor , Lois and Clark . A good thing Clark is Superman . Really dumb cartoon . The animation is great with some spooky mummies but the story is preposterous , there's a LONG story about the ancient Egyptian king that drags and his name is King Tush - - that had me speechless ! The fights are dull and it ends on a " joke " that had me groaning aloud . Real bad . A 3 . |
478,457 | 463,200 | 844,708 | 3 | Terrible acting and writing sink this one | SPOILERS Two teenage girls - - Mari ( Sara Patton ) and Paige ( Martha MacIsaac ) - - are tortured , raped and killed by a sadistic gang led by Krug ( Garret Dillahunt ) . They include his son Justin ( Spencer Treat Clark ) , his brother Francis ( Aaron Paul ) and bisexual Sadie ( Riki Lindhome ) . They end up staying in the home of Mari's parents ( Tony Goldwyn and Monica Potter ) . Also Mari has survived her attack and gets to her parents . They , in turn , torture and kill Krug and his gang . OK - - I thought the original was a sick degrading film . . . but it DID do its job ( scare the hell out of you ) . It was made on no budget and had a documentary style feel to it making it hard to shake off . Also some of the acting was good and TOO realistic . Naturally this unnecessary remake screws everything up . It's glossy and professionally made so you're always aware you're watching a movie . They also cut down on the torturing of the girls ( I'm saying that as a good thing ) . However the acting is so bad it's hard to take this seriously . Paxton and MacIsaac are just dreadful - - although MacIsaac DOES try . Paxton was always blank - - always ! Even when she's being raped she doesn't react ! ( By the way , the rape is tastefully done - - there's no nudity and ( to me at least ) it was obviously being faked ) . Dillahunt is just as bad as Krug . David Hess in the original was ugly , mean and downright frightening . Dillahunt looks great ( he's even all pumped up ) and looks as frightening as a cover boy from a fashion magazine . The same goes with all of the gang - - they look too good to be convincing . Their wretched acting doesn't help . I thought with Potter and Goldwyn we'd have some good acting . Nope . They easily give their worst performances . Everybody here is so lifeless it's hard to give a damn about anything . The writing doesn't help . The lines are stupid and the script dull . Also did you know a microwave oven works with its door wide open ? ? ? According to this movie it does ! Right there the writers are showing their total contempt for the audience by throwing in idiotic things like that . Add that to the pathetic acting and you have one hard movie to sit through . This gets three stars only because of the end when Krug and his gang get killed . The blood and gore comes barreling out and leads to some very gruesome and cool murders . But , unless you're a gore fan , you're going to find very little here . If you want to see it just for the gore wait till it comes out on DVD and just fast forward to the last 40 minutes . Another unnecessary horror movie redo . |
478,589 | 463,200 | 74,967 | 3 | Repulsive | Originally aired as an ABC Movie of the Week . This involves two young innocent female college students who are railroaded into a prison camp in a little Southern town . They aren't allowed phone calls and nobody knows they're there . What follows is rape , torture , beatings , humiliation and degradation leading to a very disturbing conclusion . The TV version was ( for its time ) grim . No nudity and the beatings were pretty tame but the overall feeling of sleaziness wore one down . The unrated version is even worse - - there's plentiful nudity , the violence is extreme and , in one particularly disgusting sequence , we see a crying female prisoner forced to strip while a lesbian guard " uses " her . YUCK ! There's nothing wrong with exploitation films but this one just goes over the brink . You get the feeling that the filmmakers enjoy having these poor women being tortured and degraded - - all this is shoved in your face like you're supposed to enjoy it . The needlessly downbeat ending doesn't help . I'm giving it a 3 because the acting is good - - but that actually makes the movie harder to watch . A sick , sleazy film . Not recommended . |
477,751 | 463,200 | 71,249 | 3 | Pretty bad | How this has such a high rating here is beyond me . This film has been blasted by critics ( and audiences ) for years . Heck , it's even in the book " The Fifty Worst Films of All Time " ! Maybe it's not that bad but it's certainly not good . In Mexico a powerful man named El Jefe orders his hired killers to " bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia " . It seems Garcia had sex with his daughter and she's now pregnant . Two gay ( implied ) assassins ( played by Robert Webber and Gig Young ) from Jefe hire a down and out piano player in a bar ( Warren Oates ) to do the job . He drags along his girlfriend Elita ( Isela Vega ) who also happens to be a prostitute . The film starts out OK - - the acting is good ( especially by Webber and Vega ) , there's a few nicely directed bits and some fairly good dialogue . But when Oates and Vega go out to do the job the film slowly falls apart . It slows down quickly , the dialogue gets silly and there's a pointless and disgusting scene where Vega is almost raped by a biker ( Kris Kristofferson ! ! ) . The last hour is almost unbearable - - the film slows down even more , it gets quickly VERY dull and director Peckinpah's slow-motion shootouts get boring . The movie somehow manages to become bloody , sadistic AND dull ! All in all this is pretty lousy . A tasteless , pointless and pretty sick story with gratuitous female nudity , dull violence and a snails pace . The 3 I give it is mostly for the acting . You can skip this one . |
479,470 | 463,200 | 937,347 | 3 | Gets three stars for the acting | Thomas Archer ( Ron Eldard ) has his child killed and his wife viciously attacked in a home invasion . Dr . Heller ( Christopher Plummer ) tries to help him through the post traumatic stress . Then Archer finds himself confronted with a man ( Til Schweiger ) bound and gagged to a chair . He is told this is the man who killed his child and attacked his wife and he can do whatever he likes to him . And there's a large assortment of instruments there to help him . . . Film is interesting at first ( and shows real restraint in terms of blood and gore ) but gets stupider by the minute and has some highly unlikely plot twists and turns . It all ends in a final twist that was so old and stupid that I was shocked anyone would actually think of using it anymore . How such talented actors like Eldard , Schweiger and Plummer got involved in crap like this is beyond me . This gets three stars for the acting but the stupid plot and truly unbelievable twists make this a chore to sit through . |
478,438 | 463,200 | 71,275 | 3 | Sick | Three crooks commit a robbery and try to escape in a speeding car . Along the way they take a young woman , a man and his sick child hostage . This was a " lost " film for many years . Unfortunately it was found . Tough , brutal and very very disgusting . Virtually the entire movie takes place in the car and two of the crooks overact to an annoying extreme . Worst of all , the young woman is constantly being attacked , humiliated and sexually abused by one of the guys . Those scenes are next to impossible to watch . Also director Mario Bava is usually a master at creating atmospheric movies and having some incredible camera shots . They're all totally missing from this film . There IS a neat twist at the end , but it's too little too late . The script is boring and sick and there's really no point in seeing this film . Avoid . |
478,728 | 463,200 | 78,950 | 3 | Well done but horribly manipulative | Details are a little vague ( I saw this back in 1979 ) but here's what I remember : Story about an ex-boxer ( Jon Voight ) who's bringing up his son ( Ricky Schroder ) alone when his wife ( Fay Dunaway ) left them . Then she returns and wants her son back . She's rich now . Voight has to become a boxer again to provide for his kid . . . but it might kill him . OK - - it's well acted ( all three leads are great ) and well-done but man is it SYRUPY ! The movie is just so cloying and sweet that I started to get annoyed watching it . Also the story is old and has been done many times before . You know how it's going to end . And yeah - - I cried at the end but how could you not ? This movie went out of its way to wring tears from the audience . I don't mind tearjerkers but this one is so openly trying to make you cry that it gets ridiculous . When a movie starts forcing reactions from its audience that's not good . This gets a 3 only for the actors and a well-done production . |
477,159 | 463,200 | 67,359 | 3 | Terrible but somewhat interesting | Movie based on Jacqueline Susann's best-selling novel . It's about Robin Stone ( John Phillip Law ) a ruthless TV anchorman who claws his way to the top . It details his love life concentrating on Amanda ( Jodi Wexler ) and Judith ( Dyan Cannon ) . It also shows his total inability to commit to anyone and instead sleeps with any woman he can get . The novel is no work of art ( it's not even good literature ) but it's a quick , silly , trashy read . But this movie makes it seem like " Gone With the Wind " ! This is a textbook example of how NOT to do a movie adaptation . First they condense the novel terribly . In the book Stone's inability to commit is dealt with and it's revealed why . Here it's brought up . . . and ignored . Also there's a truly revolting scene in which a woman is brutally beaten . It's in the book - - but there IS a reason totally left out of the movie . And the book dealt with three women - - not two . Don't even get me started on the homophobia . Adaptation aside the acting is pretty terrible . Law is just horrendous as Stone - - VERY wooden and boring - - you seriously wonder why all these women are after him . To be fair to Law - - another actor was cast but had a very bad accident before shooting began and Law stepped in at the last minute . Wexler is terrible as Amanda ; Maureen Arthur is truly astoundingly bad as Ethel Evans ; Shecky Greene is unbearable as Christie Lane . Only three performances stand out : David Hemmings ( having a GREAT time ) camps it up as a gay photographer ; Cannon is actually very good and Robert Ryan is just great . Also Dionne Warwick sings the catchy opening song ( " He's Moving On " ) . It IS bad but I watched the whole thing and it is ( in a silly sort of way ) a lot of fun . I'm giving it a 3 . Also Jacqueline Susann has a cameo as a newscaster . |
479,501 | 463,200 | 20,492 | 3 | Dull | Early talkie feature based on a popular stage play . A murder has been committed and a bunch of people hire a medium to conduct a séance to see who the murderer is . While the lights are out there's ANOTHER murder . . . so it's someone in that room . What follows is an obvious , dull and creaky murder mystery . Most of the cast overacts to a ridiculous degree . They act like they're on stage ( where you have to overdo things ) and it looks silly on screen . Most embarrassing is Bela Lugosi ( two years before " Dracula " ) who REALLY overdoes it as a police inspector . Static direction by Tod Browning ( who was always overrated ) doesn't help . For Browning and Lugosi completists only . I give it a 3 . |
479,261 | 463,200 | 295,254 | 4 | Visually interesting . . . but that's it | Movie about a website in which you get killed in 2 days after watching it . . . or something like that . The plot is vague and the explanation for the killing was particularly stupid . Also Natascha McElhone was atrocious - - I've NEVER seen a worst actress ! Her facial expressions never matched the dialogue and her romance with Stephen Dorff comes out of nowhere . I NEVER want to see her again . Stephen Rea is just as bad as the killer ( believe me , I'm not giving anything away ) . He keeps babbling away in a thin , reedy voice before killing his victims . Most of what he says is the worst dialogue every written and he says . . . it . . . so . . . SLOWLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYY ! ! ! ! ! I felt like yelling " Shut up and kill them ! " Still , this wasn't a total disaster . There was some nice photography here ; there's a sequence with thousands of cockroaches that had me squirming ; Stephen Dorff is pretty good ( and a really hot , good-looking guy - - too bad he remains fully dressed ) and there is some really disturbing imagery of dead or bound women . But , all in all , it's not worth $9 . 00 or $10 . 00 . Worth a rental if you're a Dorff fan like me . |
479,232 | 463,200 | 248,667 | 4 | Muddled | Pic follows Muhammed Ali from 1964 to 1974 chronicling his winning the heavyweight championship , losing it and winning it again . This could have been good , but it fails in so many ways . For starters , Will Smith is totally miscast as Ali - - Ali was handsome , full of life and charismatic - - Smith is none of those things . When he shouts out Ali's rhymes he comes off like a loudmouth jerk - - he totally lacks Ali's sing-song voice and great personality . His face is always blank all during the film - - even the fight scenes ! No depth of character comes through . Also ( although I realize this is a matter of opinion ) Smith is ugly - - Ali wasn't . All in all he's not a good enough dramatic actor to carry the film . The script is lousy - - very scattershot . It jumps all over the place and characters appear and disappear at a disturbing rate . For instance . . . Ali meets his second wife at a religious meeting . They just hold hands . The very next scene they're married , have a house AND a baby girl ! Michael Mann's direction doesn't help . It's constantly in closeups of the character's faces . This makes sense during the boxing scenes . . . you're right in there in the ring . But when it's constant it gets very annoying . . . especially at 160 minutes . And the film is way too long . Two hours and forty minutes is overdoing it . The only good thing about this is all the actors ( except for Smith ) are great in their roles - - especially Jon Voight doing a dead on impersonation of Howard Cosell . And the fight scenes are good . But this isn't worth seeing . If you want a good boxing movie rent " Raging Bull " or even " Rocky " . |
477,742 | 463,200 | 244,799 | 4 | Too much boring strip teases | Compilation of coming attractions of some VERY odd , stupid and downright sleazy movies . Highlights are coming attractions for : " Maihuana " ( which causes women to laugh hysterically , disrobe and run around nude ! ) ; " The Flesh Merchant " ; " Pin-Down Girls " ( about female wrestlers ) ; " Curfew Breakers " ( ! ! ! ) ; a hysterical PSA AGAINST cable and pay TV ; " The Smut Peddler " ; " Strange Rampage " ; " Young Seducers " ( which has VERY explicit female nudity ) ; " Just for the Hell Of it " and " Jailbait Babysitter " ! This is fun but it gets repetitious - - even at just 60 minutes . And there's a truly boring montage of strip tease acts ( not everything comes off BTW ) . It gets a 4 for the coming attractions . Not for the kids - - some of this material is X rated . |
478,736 | 463,200 | 186,589 | 4 | & stupid & boring | Jack ( a quarterback ) and Diane ( a cheerleader ) meet in high school , fall in love and ( for no reason ) Diane decides to have a baby before marrying Jack . They move in together , work jobs , attend school , etc . Diane realizes they need more money to survive so her and her fellow cheerleaders decide to rob a bank . Decent premise , but not enough for a full-length movie . Even at 80 minutes the film feels long ( also paying $9 . 00 for an 80 minute movie is ridiculous ) . The script is unfunny and obvious - - although I did laugh out loud a few times . Also the entire cast is way too old to be playing high school - - - James Marsden ( Jack ) is 27 ! The pluses are a good soundtrack and a cast all giving 100 % to their roles . Especially good is Marsden - - all grinning and full of charm and energy . Still , it isn't enough . It's boring and silly . Also I'm a an adult and I realize this was aimed at teenagers . I saw it with an audience full of kids . They watched the film in dead silence - - some walked out ! That should tell you something . Avoid . Not even worth a video rental . |
479,674 | 463,200 | 61,094 | 4 | Even the kids will be bored by this | Filmed in Supermariomation ( seriously ) . Feature film version of a kids TV show that used marionettes . I'm too young to remember the show and the movie assumes you already know the characters so I was little confused about what was going on . It opens with a long sequence of hilariously obvious miniatures helping launch a rocket - - the first manned mission to Mars . However it's sabotaged and crashes . They try it again - - and the Thunderbirds help them . It seems the Thunderbirds are a group of sons and their dad who help fight evil by jumping into their rocket ships and . . . doing stuff . They're helped by Lady Penelope - - a beautiful rich English woman who ( I guess ) is a worker of theirs . This involves a trip to Mars , rock creatures ( don't ask ) and tons of footage of the rocket ships flying . . . and flying . . . and flying . . . What drivel ! If you were a fan of the TV show when you were a kid you'll probably love this - - but to those of us who never saw the show it's incomprehensible and just plain dull ! Also there's a lllooonnnggg pointless dream sequence when Alan dreams of dating Lady Penelope and it even works in a sing sequence with Cliff Richards and the Shadows ( and wait till you see the obvious banana filling in for the moon ! ) . The dream sequence adds zero to the plot and has got to be the most obvious example of padding I've ever seen in a motion picture . The plot ( what there is of one ) is slow and juvenile and the special effects are incredibly silly by todays standards . The herky jerky motions of the marionettes quickly becomes tiresome too . I will admit there are some impressive visuals but they can't overcome the stupid plot and clichéd characters . A sleep-inducing bore . I give it a 4 . |
478,529 | 463,200 | 77,975 | 4 | Lousy film but , in a way , a classic | 1962 : Faber College . A fraternity ( Delta House ) has for years tormented Dean Wormer ( John Vernon ) by trashing his campus and wrecking havoc with really sick , immature behavior . He finally decides to do everything he can to close them down , but they won't go out without a fight . . . This was a HUGE hit in 1978 ( and a hit again when it was rereleased in 1980 ) . I never understood why . The jokes are lame and the humor was , for its time , pretty risque . Nowadays it's pretty tame ( for an R-rated film ) . Also I saw it in a theatre in 1978 when I was in high school - - I didn't laugh once . Seeing it again over 20 years later it's even worse . But , this was the first film of its type ( the slobs vs . the snobs ) and lead to many VERY bad imitators . Compared to those this IS a classic . But still not good . It has some good things in it . It's amusing to see then unknown Kevin Bacon so young ; Peter Riegert and Karen Allen make a very appealing couple ( but their dramatic back story is dull ) ; John Vernon is excellent , and very funny , as Dean Wormer ; Tim Matheson is also very good - - he nicely underplays his role ( and flashes his butt briefly ) ; this made John Belushi a star ( he IS funny - - sometimes ) ; there's great direction by John Landis ( especially during the " Shout " number ) ; there's a bombastic Elmer Bernstein score that helps and seeing Tom Hulce and Stephen Furst so young is incredible . BUT that doesn't excuse the lousy script ; horrible jokes ; the sexism ; the racism ; Donald Sutherland's pointless and lousy performance and the fact that this film is DULL ! ! ! ! ! ! I'm giving it a 4 . . . and I'm BEING generous ! |
478,090 | 463,200 | 74,356 | 4 | MIGHT scare kids | Boring , obvious " horror " film about 2 idiots who go to search for the title creature . Obviously this is just another ripoff of the legend of Bigfoot . I saw this back in 1976 at a local theatre when I was 14 . I went because the local paper gave it a positive write up . I also dragged along my 9 year old brother and his friends . Basically they LOVED it . They said it was scary and " cool " . I did not agree at all . I was bored and extremely angry - - I expected them to SHOW the creature but ( except for one half-way clear shot ) they don't . You hear it's roar and you might see a hand or a foot but that's about it . In retrospect this was probably a good idea - - the unseen is much more scary than what we CAN see . But when you're a young kid you could care less about subtlety - - you want to SEE the monster . This movie came ( and went ) without a trace . It hasn't popped up on VHS or DVD yet ( and hopefully won't ) . I give it a 4 because it IS an OK monster movie for kids - - YOUNG kids . All others - - stay away . |
478,493 | 463,200 | 186,894 | 4 | Boring with a capital | Very dull , totally predictable " romantic " drama about a self-absorbed ad ex Buddy ( Affleck ) who gives his airline ticket away to a married man ( Tony Goldwyn ) so he can get to bed a sexy blond he just met . The plane crashes , everyone diews , Buddy blames himself for the man's death ( why ? ) and , a year later , meets the man's widow ( Gwyneth Paltrow ) and , of course , falls in love . It's well-directed , has attractive stars but the movie is unbearable . The dialogue is among the worst I ever heard - - every single line rings false and you always know exactly where the movie is going . Also Paltrow gives a one-note performance and looks horrible with brown hair . The only thing that kept me in my seat was Affleck . He's a superb actor and drop-dead handsome . He gives the material a better performance than it deserves and is just beyond good-looking ( yeah , I've got the hots for him ! ) , Still , a must-miss - - Affleck's talent and charisma can't save this one . |
478,013 | 463,200 | 56,943 | 4 | Great cast , bad film | Vincent Price stars as Trumbell , a New England funeral director who decides to drum up business by killing people . His assistant Felix ( Peter Lorre ) is forced to help him . Also on hand is Boris Karloff as Price's father-in-law , Basil Rathbone as an obnoxious landlord and Joe E . Brown ( very briefly ) as a grave robber . Oh , and it's a comedy . With a script by Richard Matheson and direction by Jacques Tourneur this should be great . Sadly , it's not . The script is pretty poor - - very scattershot and filled with unfunny lines . The acting carries this film . Price speaks every line with relish and overacts wonderfully - - he gives his all to some truly bad jokes . Lorre looks miserable but he gives a good performance . Karloff is sadly wasted and Rathbone chews the scenery . So , this is a historic movie for teaming up such great horror stars , but it gives them nothing to work with . See it for them . |
478,556 | 463,200 | 35,784 | 4 | Rightfully forgotten but has its moments | The print I saw of this was in terrible shape with sometimes inaudible sound so my synopsis may be a little off . The evil Dr . Elwyn Clayton ( George Zucco ) is being laid to rest . His twin brother Dr . Lloyd Clayton ( Zucco again ) is a kind man . He oversees his brother's funeral and begins to burn papers of the work he was doing . Elwyn's assistant Zolarr ( Dwight Frye playing a hunchback - - again ) tries to stop him to no avail . Then Elwyn ( somehow ) rises from the dead as a vampire . He goes after his niece Gayle ( Mary Caslisle ) who begins to slowly die of blood loss and the townspeople think Lloyd is responsible . . . OK - - the acting is pretty bad ( except for Zucco and Frye ) with a truly terrible performance by Fern Emmett ( playing Kate ) ; the dialogue is terrible ; the direction is pedestrian and the sets show the VERY low budget this picture was made on . Still this isn't a total disaster . The plot is ( to say the least ) pretty interesting and Zucco has a field day playing two brothers . As Elwyn he really chews the scenery in an enjoyable way . Also it's impossible to dismiss any movie that has Frye as a humpbacked assistant . There are also some eerie scenes involving Frye moving Clayton's coffin around in a graveyard . So this is pretty badly done ( and the only prints available seem to be in terrible shape ) but it has it's moments . Horror fans might want to take a look . |
477,974 | 463,200 | 295,700 | 4 | OK for a rainy day | Chris Flynn ( Desmond Harrington ) is driving through West Virginia for a job interview . While driving through the woods he ( accidentally ) runs into a group of friends whose car is broken down . They go for help and find themselves face to face with a group of inbred cannibals . . . and they're stuck in the middle of nowhere . . . . So-so . The plot has been done MANY times in the past - - this turns into a variation of " The Hills Have Eyes " ( which I didn't like ) . The acting is OK I guess , but no one is given anything to work with . Harrington and Eliza Dushku try . On the plus side this moves fairly quick ( it's only 84 minutes ) , delivers the goods in terms of gore and violence ( one murder made me jump ) and Dushku plays a strong intelligent woman who fights back full force . But there's nothing really new here . Worth watching on a rainy afternoon if you have NOTHING else to view . I give it a 4 . |
479,111 | 463,200 | 53,219 | 4 | Pretty silly , and unnecessary sequel | Like father , like son . This is a black & white sequel to the color original . The sone of the originals ' father starts the same experiments as his father and the same thing happens to him . The acting is pretty good ( Price and Halsey do a very good job ) but the makeup on Halsey is laughable , the plot has nothing fresh or original to it and it's nowhere near as intelligent as the original . A pretty dull little film . For Vincent Price completists only . Even the sequel after this " Revenge of the Fly " was better ! |
477,580 | 463,200 | 29,992 | 4 | OK I guess | Mean old Ebenezer Scrooge ( Reginald Owen ) is visited by his dead partner Marley and the ghosts of Christmas past , present and yet to be . They are there to warn him to change his ways or die a miserable old man . I know it's probably considered blasphemy to dislike this movie but I do . It was done on a big budget with a pretty good cast but I found it slow even though it's only a little over an hour long . Maybe it's because I know the story so well I couldn't enjoy this . Also this is REALLY syrupy and pours it on . The sequence with the ghost of Christmas ' yet to be was so overdone that it had me rolling my eyes . By the time Tiny Tim said , " And God bless us everyone " I was actually smirking at the movie ( I don't mean that in a good way ) . I didn't think Owen was that good as Scrooge either . He's not terrible but his performance lacks the passion that I think the role really needs . It's too bad Lionel Barrymore couldn't do this . On the plus side it IS well-done and the ghosts themselves work ( for 1938 this has pretty good special effects ) . Also it's fun to see June Lockhart as a child ( it was her debut ) . But I was just bored and couldn't wait for this to end . So - - maybe I'm a Scrooge myself but I didn't like this at all . |
478,434 | 463,200 | 100,670 | 4 | Horrible but fun , in a silly way , . . . | ONLY if you grew up during the 1970s . David Cassidy ( looking great ) , Olivia d'Abo ( with English accent intact ) and Geoff Hoyle ( WHO ? ? ? ) travel from 2176 to 1976 by mistake . While there totally predictable " hilarity " ensures . The jokes are horribly bad ( there's not one good one ! ) and the story and dialogue are truly abysmal . Also it contains a character called Snodgrass ( ho ho ) who gives one of the worst performances in comedy history - - his idea of acting is SCREAMING every line full force . Still , I ( sort of ) enjoyed it . They caught the 70s dead on - - as a child of the 70s I can attest to that ! The fashions , the music , the cars , the horrible furniture and carpets - - all perfect ! For me it was a trip back to the past . Also , the cast gives their all to the awful script . And the movie does come to life in one sequence in which d'Abo and Leif Garrett ( another 70s icon ) do the Hustle ! Boy , did that bring me back ! Worth seeing only for those who remember or lived through the 70s . All others - - beware ! |
477,538 | 463,200 | 160,127 | 4 | Sexist , stupid and boring | Wow ! What a load of cp ! I didn't think it was possible , but this movie is even worse than the TV show ! The plot is beyond stupid - - to be totally honest I can't really remember it . Anyways , it's just an excuse to have Drew Barrymore , Lucy Liu and Cameron Diaz get into VERY tight outfits and prance around . I'm really surprised this film got a PG - - there's so much flesh shown on these girls ! It goes VERY close to an R more than once . Also the jokes are very stupid - - one of them has Liu being a lousy cook ! I thought that stereotype disappeared in the ' 50s ! As for the acting - - Lynch is very good in her role ; Bill Murray looks miserable ; Barrymore looks confused ; Liu can't act ; Matt LeBlanc ( as Liu's boyfriend ) is basically playing Joey from " Friends " and Tom Green is REALLY annoying as Barrymore's boyfriend . Only Cameron Diaz gives out a good performance - - she's so lively and fun . Also Luke Wilson is very good as her boyfriend . Those two have great chemistry together . So , I gave the film a 4 only for Diaz , Wilson and some good fight scenes . Otherwise , this is a mess . |
477,442 | 463,200 | 60,877 | 4 | Loved it as a kid | When I was growing up ( late 70s ) a local TV station used to show this constantly on Saturday afternoons along with other AIP horror movies . I liked it back then . . . the vampire woman spooked me and the " attack " sequences gave me nightmares . Seeing it now as an adult it , unfortunately , doesn't age well . The print I saw was brand-new so it looked good - - that helped a lot . The vampire woman is still spooky ( what an evil little smile ! ) and there are plenty of eerie scenes . But the film is punishingly slow and dull . . . I was fast forwarding through most of it . The only saving graces were good performances from the whole cast - - especially Basil Rathbone , John Saxon and Florence Marley . Also some of the special effects ( stolen from a big budget Russian sci-fi film ) are great . Neat ending too . And who ever knew Dennis Hopper was that young ? : ) Still , it's slow going and there are much better films to be seen . Skip it . |
477,613 | 463,200 | 35,703 | 4 | I didn't like it | Spiritual ( I guess ) tale of a man named " Little Joe " ( Eddie " Rochester " Anderson ) who is saved from the Devil by the prayers of his wife . But the Devil's son ( Rex Ingram ) has 60 days or something to get him back . Sorry about the confusing synopsis . . . but I had trouble staying awake through this . I was VERY bored and it's beyond me why this is considered a great musical . For starters , the story is just silly and the script is pretty bad . Also the acting is bad . Ethel Waters OVERacts all over the place ; Anderson's idea of acting is bugging out his eyes ( I got tired of it after the 20th time ) ; Lena Horne is given nothing to do and most of the other actors either underact or overact . Only Rex Ingram and Kenneth Spencer give out decent performances . As for the songs - - I didn't enjoy one of them . Not one . And what's all this about Waters ' being such a great singer ? Her voice was OK - - that's all . . . and Anderson's singing was downright painful . Only Horne really put a little life into her numbers . And the " dancing " - - it was good in the pool hall sequence , but there's a tap dance bit in Little Joe and Petunia's kitchen that was SO bad and clumsy that I couldn't believe it stayed in the film . And it is VERY racist . Some people can ignore it but I couldn't . Actually , after 70 minutes , I turned it off . I was bored and sick and tired of the overacting and lousy script . I give this a 4 because of Horne and Minnelli's direction . Aside from that I hated this film . |
478,155 | 463,200 | 47,114 | 4 | Nice color and imagery but little else | Plot less short about some Greek gods ( or something ) getting together in a pleasure dome . There's no dialogue - - only music which is supposed to match the images ( I think ) . The color ( in the restored print ) is incredibly vivid and rich and some of the images are eye-catching but this is more boring and self-indulgent than anything else . The same images are shown again and again and AGAIN . . . it gets tedious rather quickly . With no plot or story to follow this gets to be a chore to watch . This might be of some interest to some since it has author Anais Nin as Astarte and artist Paul Mathison looking incredibly handsome as Pan . But , all in all , this is boring and pointless . It comes across as little more than director Kenneth Anger and his friends playing dress up . I give this a 4 for the imagery and color alone . |
478,809 | 463,200 | 65,810 | 4 | Extremely dated | White students are being bused into an inner city all black school . The students aren't happy with it . . . will violence erupt ? This movie dealt with a very hot topic in 1970 that doesn't really exist anymore . The plot ( and characters ) and the the racism angle are played very broadly and simplistically . There's also a needless and very ugly sequence in which five black girls attack and tear all the clothes off a white girl . Aside from that scene and some mild profanity this plays like a made-for-TV movie - - a BAD one ! The confrontations , dialogue and resolutions are all too obvious . ALMOST worth seeing for a very young Jeff Bridges and Rob Reiner . Trivia : This movie was banned from Boston TV stations in the early 70s . Opposition to busing was very violent in the city and officials were afraid the movie might incite riots . |
477,886 | 463,200 | 57,193 | 4 | I just didn't like it | The words of a dying thief ( Jimmy Durante ) sets off a cross country race from various parties to get a stash of money . I know this film has its audience but I never found it funny . I saw the uncut version on a big screen years ago and didn't laugh once . Seeing it on TV ( letter boxed on TCM ) didn't change things . I have some friends who find this hysterical but it really escapes me . I find the humor in this film labored and obvious with tons of unfunny slapstick . There's next to no characterization and the all star cast just seems intent on seeing who can scream the loudest ( Ethel Merman wins hands down ) . Also it's embarrassing to see the great Spencer Tracy reduced to this - - I find nothing funny about seeing him ( actually a very obvious stunt double ) running up and down flights of stairs again and again ( a very strained running joke ) . The only fun in this film is seeing all the actors who pop up for small cameos ( my favorite was Jack Benny ) . Still , they aren't enough to stop this film from being stupid , boring and ( sometimes ) quite violent . If you love violent slapstick you might enjoy this . I can honestly only give it a 4 . |
478,790 | 463,200 | 65,887 | 4 | Silly and confusing | An Oxford don ( Patrick Mower ) goes to Greece to study mythology . Suddenly he disappears and nobody hears from him . A bunch of his friends and fiancée travel there to find him . They discover he is traveling all over Greece - - and wherever he goes there's a murder . He's also under the spell of beautiful but deadly Chriseis ( Imogen Hassell ) . . . This DOES have some good points . The initial story is intriguing and there is some beautiful location shooting in Greece and a few exciting fights here and there . Also Peter Cushing and Patrick Macnee are in it - - they're not given much to do but they're both very good . Also Mower is pretty good and Hassall is VERY good ( and beautiful ) . But the plot gets increasingly confusing ( and sillier ) as it goes on . When they threw in the vampirism it was badly handled and just too ridiculous to take seriously . There were obvious production difficulties - - quite a few scenes just have narration . Also Madeleine Hinde is just horrible playing Mowere's fiancée . Basically though - - it's boring ! I dozed off a few times . . . and didn't miss a thing . And , as a horror movie , it just doesn't work . It plays more like an action film or a travelogue of Greece . Not totally worthless ( because of Cushing and Macnee ) but not really worth seeing . I give it a 4 . |
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