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A Comedy Classic ? Or the P . I . T . T . S . ?
Originally to have been called ' Big Tis ' , ' O . T . T . ' ( ' Over The Top ' ) was an unsuccessful attempt to transfer the anarchic humour of the Saturday morning children's show ' Tiswas ' to a late-night slot . All the cast ( with the exception of Sally James ) signed on . The level of humour was epitomised by its...
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The Simon Dee Of The ' 80's ?
' The Noel Edmonds Late Late Breakfast Show ' had a difficult birthing period ; the early shows began with a title sequence reminiscent of the old Simon Dee show ' Dee Time ' , depicting Noel racing to the B . B . C . T . V . Centre in various forms of transport . The late D . J . John Peel figured prominently , as did...
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Hi ! I'm Roy ! " And I'm Linda ! "
Thanks to those killjoys at H . T . V . Wales and their insane policy of regional scheduling ( English programmes everyone watched displaced by Welsh language shows no-one watched ) , I had to visit my auntie's house to see this show . Because she lived high on a hill , her set could pick up stations mine could not , s...
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Slaughterhouse More Like
Freddie Starr was , and still is , known as the ' wild man of comedy ' . He shot to stardom in the ' 70's after appearing on ' Opportunity Knocks ' , went on to headline L . W . T . ' s ' Who Do You Do ? ' , had a chart hit ( the soppy ' Its You ' ) and starred ( pardon the pun ) in several one-off specials . By far an...
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Harry Does A Hancock
One minute , you're up , the next , you're down . Tony Hancock quit the B . B . C . at the height of his popularity to do an inferior show for I . T . V . , an experience from which he never recovered professionally . Harry Enfield , alas , didn't learn from this , quitting the B . B . C . to make this horrible Sky One...
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People In Glass Houses Shouldn't Throw Stones
I never thought I'd find myself feeling sorry for Britney Spears , Lindsay Lohan , Tom Cruise , Kevin Federline , Heather Mills , Geri Halliwell , George Michael , Jamie Oliver et al . This programme listed 100 celebrities ( movie and pop stars , presenters , comedians , footballers , and politicians ) who have in some...
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A Crime Thriller That Went Lame And Had To Be Shot
Basing a television series on a popular author's works is no guarantee of success . Yorkshire Television learnt this the hard way when in 1979 they bought the rights to the books credited to Dick Francis , three of which were broadcast under the collective title ' The Racing Game ' . Mike Gwilym was Sid Halley , a form...
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The End Of The Road For Eric And Ernie
In 1977 , Morecambe and Wise were at the top of their game . Their Christmas Show of that year was watched by a staggering 28 million people . They had become a national institution . So what made them quit the B . B . C . ? Money ? No , there was more to it than that . Thames Television had a feature film division - E...
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Defective Commentaries
In theory , ' Director's Commentary ' should have worked . The talented Rob Bryden plays Peter DeLane , a former television director recounting his experiences behind the camera . Amongst the programmes he is alleged to have worked on are ' Bonanza ' , ' Flambards ' , ' The Duchess Of Duke Street ' , and ' The Bounder ...
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An Audience With The Woodentops Would've Been More Fun
When I heard about this , I thought it sounded interesting . How , I wondered , would they fit a street inside a small television studio to face an audience of D-listers ? Then I watched and realised my mistake . It was the cast of ' Coronation Street ' , not the street itself . Silly me ! With L . W . T . now part of ...
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Highly Questionable Time
Under the chairmanship of the late Sir Robin Day in the ' 80's , ' Question Time ' was a lively , stimulating political debate show . These days , however , it resembles ' The Muppet Show ' . We are told each week by David Dimbleby that the studio audience is composed of members of the public , yet I spotted the Chairm...
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Ma-Na-Ma-Na !
Shameful Confession Time : I used to find Little & Large hilarious . Already I can hear the sound of jaws dropping in amazement . That time , dear friends , was in 1970 when I was eight years old , and Syd and Eddie were to be found each week on the long-running kids ' variety show ' Crackerjack ! ' . Michael Aspel did...
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Why Reward Rubbish ?
With so many award shows around now you'd be forgiven for wondering why there isn't a ' British Award Show Awards ' . It would be more fun than ' The British Soap Awards ' , an annual nightmare in which the worst programmes on British television battle it out for trophies which , rather appropriately , are made of plas...
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Super Flop !
One of the most eagerly awaited movies of 1987 was ' Superman 4 : The Quest For Peace ' . Christopher Reeve claimed it would be a throwback to the epic style of the original , with Gene Hackman back as Lex Luthor and Margot Kidder returning as Lois Lane despite her earlier threat to quit , it certainly looked that way ...
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A Right Load Of Manure
The accepted myth is that from 1972-89 , ' Emmerdale Farm ' consisted entirely of Annie Sugden brewing tea in the kitchen while Matt and Joe ate doorstep sandwiches and discussed the best way to fix a broken tractor . Even I . T . V . - 1 allowed the myth to fester in their ' Emmerdale Family Album ' programmes . But i...
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The British Tragedy Awards , More Like
I look forward to ' The British Comedy Awards ' each year because it provides me with an excellent excuse to go out for the evening . This annual jamboree has got it all ; talentless , big headed ' comedians ' winning awards despite their shows being absolute rubbish ; incoherent , rambling ' thank you ' speeches ; end...
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Night Of A Thousand Knives More Like !
As the twenty-first century dawned , the B . B . C . decided to put out a special programme commemorating its finest achievements . Michael Parkinson hosted , and the studio was packed with celebrities . I tuned in hoping to see clips of long forgotten shows , maybe learn something of how they came to be made . What we...
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Easily The Worst And Most Unnecessary Remake Ever !
Its disturbing to note the number of classic ' 70's films that have had their reputations trashed by ' remakes ' - ' The Wicker Man ' , ' The Texas Chainsaw Massacre ' , ' The Omen ' , ' Assault On Precinct 13 ' and now this . Ira Levin's novel was not a laugh-out-loud comedy , and neither was Bryan Forbes ' 1975 movie...
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Why Mel & Griff Are The Real Two Ninnies
In the final ' Not The Nine O'Clock News ' , Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones famously put the boot into ' The Two Ronnies ' with ' The Two Ninnies ' . It wasn't an affectionate parody , more a savage attack . They cruelly berated Barker and Corbett for doing the same sort of jokes twenty years later ( inaccurate as ' Th...
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Happy Birthday - Now Get Lost !
If ever there was a prime example of a television show running well beyond its natural lifespan , its surely ' Coronation Street ' . This , the granddaddy of British soaps , appears to have been on our screens since The Pleistocene Era , and shows no signs whatever of ending . I envy its writers for being able to churn...
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Loose Teeth !
I have a theory as to why ' Loose Women ' exists . The Government have been making a lot of noise recently about how disabled people should be made to look for work . ' Loose ' is obviously intended to get the ' slackers ' out of their wheelchairs and into the Job Centres . It is so stupid and mind-numbingly boring as ...
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The Reekest Stink
This has all the entertainment value of having teeth pulled without anaesthetic . When I first saw it , I thought I'd tuned into an old war film by mistake , with Anne Robinson playing a Nazi interrogator . The lady was once a ' Daily Mirror ' columnist and when Robert Maxwell fell off the ' Lady Ghislaine ' in 1991 sh...
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Old McDonald Had A Show . . .
Alistair Campbell wrote in his diaries that he once contemplated suicide . After reading fifteen pages , I know just how he feels . . That was the best ' gag ' in a recent edition of ' News Knight with Sir Trevor McDonald ' . After fifteen seconds of the first show , I too felt like doing away with myself . Proof if ...
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Wild Cheese 2
' The Wild Geese ' ( 1978 ) , by no means a classic , was Oscar winning stuff compared to this stinker . Edward Fox plays the brother of the Richard Burton character ; the dialogue at the start tries to imply that Eddie was out there alongside Richard in the African veldt . Oh no he wasn't ! Based on Daniel Carney's ' ...
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A Human Pigsty
Television producers are notorious for their lack of irony . Peter Weir's ' The Truman Show ' warned of the dangers of taking reality television too far . Those geniuses at Endemol U . K . couldn't have paid heed because each summer ' Big Brother ' stinks up Channel 4's schedules like an overflowing dustbin in a heatwa...
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Leave It !
The history of television is strewn with bad programmes with ' Charlie ' in the title - ' Charlie's Angels ' , ' Father Charlie ' , ' Charlie's Garden Army ' , and this . ' Leave It To Charlie ' was originally a short-lived 1975 Granada sitcom entitled ' The Life Of Riley ' , starring Bill Maynard as Frank Riley , a ha...
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Supermarket From Hell
We shall never know what made Leonard Rossiter agree to star in this feeble Thames sitcom . It certainly couldn't have been the quality of the scripts . Though penned by Brian Cooke , one half of the writing team behind ' Man About The House ' and ' George & Mildred ' , they proved about as funny as anthrax . The show ...
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A Mystery How It Lasted So Long
Though it began in 1988 , ' M . S . T . 3 . K . ' didn't arrive in the U . K . until the late ' 90's , when Season 9 was shown by The Sci-Fi Channel . I was given to understand it had a cult following among American teenagers , presumably the sort who chew gum a lot and wear ear-plugs to bed to stop their brains spilli...
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Little Things Please Little Minds
No other show epitomises the decline of television comedy more than ' Little Britain ' . Its telling that its main audience are kids , the sort easily amused by swearing , vomiting and farting . If it keeps the little dears happy , that's fine by me . What I find odd though is how the nation seems to have clasped it to...
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Addicted to Noel ? No way !
' Telly Addicts ' started at roughly the same time as the second season of L . W . T . ' s ' We Love T . V . ' , hosted by Gloria Hunniford . Glo's show was inexplicably axed after only two seasons , despite being the superior of the two , while The Bearded Wonder's feeble effort dragged on for what seemed an eternity ...
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We'll Be Right Back After The Break !
' 3-2-1 ' is one of television's greatest enigmas . Though it ended two decades ago , even now I wonder from time-to-time : " Why ? " . Made by Yorkshire Television , it consisted basically of various formats bolted together ; game show , variety show , children's show ( Dusty Bin ) , all linked by a finger-twisting Te...
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Down Among The B-Movie Men !
Imagine if , in the early ' 70's , the ' Monty Python ' gang had been hired to make a movie , but then the producer entrusted the writing duties to others , brought in an attractive female lead , dancers and unrelated novelty acts ? The resulting film would have been a disaster . Yet , in 1952 , producer E . J . Fancey...
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God help us . . .
In the early 1990's , I . T . V . abolished the ' God slot ' , meaning that religious programmes could no longer be broadcast in the early part of Sunday evening , instead viewers would have to make do with family movies and game shows of the ' Family Fortunes ' variety . It was quite a jump from Sir Cliff Richard sing...
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When Meg Married Hugh
Hardly a week used to go by in the ' 70's without some comedian taking a pot shot at ' Crossroads ' . Ernie Wise said the soap opera had all the entertainment value of ' a cemetery with lights ' , and Benny Hill did a very funny lampoon with himself both as ' Benny ' and ' Meg Richardson ' . Noele Gordon publicly compl...
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Time's Up For ' Not The Nine O'Clock News '
Following a gap year , ' Not The Nine O'Clock News ' returned in 1982 for a fourth and final series . Unfortunately , as happened with ' Monty Python ' , it lost its edge completely , and disappointed the fans . Knowing fully well there was unlikely to be a fifth season , the team decided to go for broke with their ver...
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Viewing The Past Through Blue-Tinted Glasses
When she was Leader Of Her Majesty's Opposition , Margaret Thatcher ( remember her ? ) vowed to rollback ' The Permissive Society ' on becoming P . M . It was a promise that predictably resonated with the Tory faithful , but alas proved impossible to keep because it did not exist , and never had . Unfortunately , no-on...
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Who Stole Our Monkey ?
While the St . Swithins students watch Paul down a yard of ale , a bunch of Highcross students steal their mascot - a stuffed gorilla in a flat cap who rejoices in the name of ' Muriel ' . ' The rape of the ape ' as Dick calls it . Upton and co . are not about to let the matter rest , and so dressed as nurses , they in...
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Carry On Clunkers !
Having managed to destroy traditional British comedy by the early ' 90's , the alternative comedy brigade then made complete fools of themselves by signing up for ' Carry On Columbus ' . Why , exactly ? Alexei Sayle was a vociferous critic of ' old school ' comics such as Les Dawson , so what's he doing here ? Actually...
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Women Behaving As Badly As Men !
In 1970 , feminists invaded the ' Miss World ' beauty contest in London and brought the occasion to a halt by pelting the stage with flour and eggs . Why ? Because , rightly or wrongly , they felt the event to be demeaning and degrading to women . I offer no criticism of their actions . Its a free world we live in . Wh...
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What's Off ? Wogan !
' What's On Wogan ' has been seemingly wiped from the national consciousness , possibly as a result of ' Manchurian Candidate ' style brainwashing , or just possibly because it wasn't very good . It was Tel's first attempt at a peak-time Saturday night talk show , a forerunner to the more successful ( and equally bland...
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The Nesbitts Came & Went !
Firstly , let me state for the record that ' The Nesbitts Are Coming ' has no connection whatever with ' Rab C . Nesbitt ' ( wasn't the 2008 Christmas Special hilarious , by the way ? ) . Rab made his debut on BBC-2's ' Naked Video ' a good six years after this Yorkshire T . V . series ended . It was written by Dick Sh...
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Grumpy More Like
What do Richard Beckinsale , Leonard Rossiter and Harry H . Corbett have in common ? Aside from being brilliant comedy actors ( and all sadly dying within a few years of one another ) , they had the misfortune to end their television careers by starring in sub-standard sitcoms . Beckinsale in the thankfully forgotten '...
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You Need A New Sound !
I saw this on B . B . C . - 2 one Saturday afternoon back in 1977 . Its not been on since . So bizarre is it I would not be at all surprised to learn it has a cult following someplace . Frank Ifield plays Dave Kelly , an Australian singer seeking fame and fortune in Swinging London . No sooner has he gotten off the boa...
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The ' Alf Baked Saga , More Like !
The second film based on the hit B . B . C . show ' Till Death Us Do Part ' picks up where the first movie left off , with Alf Garnett and his family turfed out of their Wapping home and installed in a block of high-rise flats . Alf can't get used to living in the sky , having to ride elevators ( which frequently break...
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Welcome To Espana , Senor Vine !
The Charles Vine trilogy spluttered to a halt with this feeble offering , made entirely in Spain , featuring a ( nearly ) all Spanish cast , most of whom appear never to have acted before in their lives . The first two films were Poverty Row productions , this is more like Death Row . Adams seems like a tourist on a ch...
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Bridget Owes Benny !
' Bridget Jones ' struck a chord with millions of single women all over the world . She's kooky , blonde , has a weight problem , a man problem , and is British . If she were the creation of a man , she'd have been banned by now . I loved the moment in this film when Bridget slides down a fireman's pole and we see her ...
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Tarrant's Comeback
You have to give Chris Tarrant credit for nerve . After flopping big time with the vile ' O . T . T . ' , what did he give us next ? More of the same ! ' Saturday Stayback ' could have been called ' Son Of O . T . T . ' . It gave a break to the then-unknown Phil Cool and Tony Slattery , and had the novelty of being rec...
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I Could Be The Real Me !
Its difficult to see how this show could have failed . It was based on the B . B . C . ' s ' The Fall & Rise Of Reginald Perrin ' , and starred the brilliant Richard Mulligan ( ' Burt Campbell ' of ' Soap ' ) as rebellious commuter Reggie Potter . The scripts closely followed the David Nobbs originals , so what went wr...
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For Pete's Sake
Peter Craven seems to have fallen on his feet . Flash car , new suits , pretty girls for the asking . What is his new job ? He's a ' gofer ' ( ' go for this , go for that ' ) for the East End gangster Stanley Bowler . When Craven invites Duffy to join him at the Henley Regetta , Duffy refuses as he is currently saving ...
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Down The Pan More Like
This is the earliest surviving episode of ' Down The ' Gate ' , the sitcom that effectively killed Reg Varney's television career . A new manager is taking over at Billingsgate - Mr . Preston ( Percy Herbert ) . He has a bit of a reputation as a stickler for efficiency so Reg Furnell ( Reg Varney ) naturally wants to c...
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Ignominious End For Mr . Hedges
Fed up at being unemployed , Hedges takes a job at an escort agency . His first client is the lovely Elinor , wife of German businessman Ernst . Tired of being ignored , Elinor wishes to make her husband jealous , hence she pretends to flirt with the ex-schoolteacher . At a posh restaurant , they get better acquainted ...
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Post Mortem For A Dead Television Genre
Rightly or wrongly , the perception exists among the general public that situation comedies are no longer funny . What has caused this ? The programmes themselves , or are people being misled into thinking there was ever a golden age of television comedy ? ' Who Killed The Sitcom ? ' was less of an investigation into w...
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That Ain't No Way To Treat A Lady
Appalled by Tim and Graeme's boorish displays of sexism , Bill summons ' Women's Libber ' Barbara . To show them what women have to endure , she puts them to work for her father - a chauvinistic aristocrat who treats women like dirt . Graeme has an easy life as the butler , but poor Tim is put through hell as the maid ...
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Doing What Their Daddies Do !
You can see how ' Doctors ' Daughters ' came to be made . It was the creation of Richard Gordon , whose book ' Doctor In The House ' gave birth to a string of hit movies and a long-running television series . When he approached A . T . V . with the concept , Lord Grade probably could not get out his cheque book fast en...
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The Menace Of Magus !
Strange psychedelic patterns swirl across the Big Screen at Command Center . A tall , gentle-looking man with long hair and in robes materialises in front of Commander Koenig , and proclaims : " I am your creator ! " . Surely it can't be ? To back up his claim , he does a few conjuring tricks ( not quite up to the stan...
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Around The World In Thirty Minutes
The Goodies want to raise money for charity , and approach Mr . Sparklipegs , head of the ' Sparklipegs ' toothpaste company - whose employees boast pearly-white teeth - and offer to walk from London to Brighton if he sponsors them £10 per mile . Sensing a good publicity opportunity , he accepts , provided that they do...
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A ' Big Train ' For The Older Generation ?
One can only wonder how this show came about . Was the B . B . C . ' s Head Of Comedy so stung by complaints of the ' today's comedies are not as funny as the old ones ' type that he commissioned a show intended to prove the opposite ? ' Revolver ' had a great cast , but alas didn't provide them with decent material . ...
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Alf Garnett Joins The Police
Following Alan Simpson's retirement , Ray Galton teamed up with ' Till Death Us Do Part ' creator Johnny Speight . Their first collaboration was ' Tealadies ' for the B . B . C . ; in which a pair of mischievous tea ladies - played by Dandy Nichols and Patricia Hayes - waited on M . P . ' s in the House Of Commons . It...
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An Inspector Calls !
An Inspector visits Fenn Street School , so 5C set out to destroy what little reputation it has . Though now part of Fenn Street , the Weaver Street gang see it as their duty to make as much trouble as possible . Nude pin-up's of Raquel Welch are prominently displayed in Cromwell's office , empty gin bottles turn up in...
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Life Without Price !
Fed up with constant abuse from pupils , Mr . Price decides to jack in teaching and get a job with a pharmaceutical company . The interview is a disaster ; Price disparages the firm's products , and his dishevelled appearance and Welsh accent do him no favours . The kids are overjoyed at the thought of him leaving , wh...
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Upton Goes On A Blind Date
Upton is frustrated at being the only student at St . Swithins not to have a girlfriend , so Dick arranges a date with Nurse Pat Mortlake , otherwise known as ' Rigor Mortis ' . He assures his friend that the nurse is a push-over . But things do not go according to plan . . . According to ' The Monty Python Encyclopadi...
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Oh dear . . .
A delegation of twenty-eight Chinese men and women visit St . Swithins . Duncan and Dick are entrusted with looking after them , the former does the job so well Bingham suspects he may secretly may be a Communist . When some of the party goes missing , the doctors go frantic trying to locate them . Bingham thinks that ...
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What Do We Do With The Drunken Nurse ?
Upton and Paul are back at St . Swithins , while Dick now works as a rep for a major pharmaceutical company . Acting on information supplied by Bingham , Paul lands a top job at the hospital , much to Upton's disgust . They fall out . Upton misses a date with a pretty nurse named Beryl , and she is so depressed she get...
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Ticket To Nowhere
When Olive accidentally destroys a number of expensive items - tea-set , guitar and dress - on approval from a home shopping company , Stan is in desperate need of £50 . Blakey refuses to pay him his efficiency bonus , so Stan and Jack use a stolen ticket machine to make themselves a bit of money . All goes well until ...
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The No . 11 Bus Makes A Final Trip To The Cemetery Gates
Blakey and Jack compete to see which bus man has the best garden . Dirty tricks come into play , such as the tipping of rubbish , the chopping down of trees , and cats doing their business on the lawn . But the winner is not whom either expects . . . ' On The Buses ' juddered to a halt with this feeble Bob Grant and St...
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Three Tings A Tinkle !
A new clippie joins the Luxton bus company - bespectacled feminist Jessie , who immediately protests against the lack of an allowance for clippies needing to use toilets . She gets her way , but then Blakey is spying on the clippies to make sure they don't try and abuse the new system . . . A pretty boring episode this...
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This Sure Ain't ' The Saint ' !
' The Saint ' came out a year before the ' Avengers ' movie , and likewise also proved a critical and commercial disaster . Of the two movies , I prefer ' The Avengers ' because , whether you like it or not , it at least resembles the television series on which it is based . ' The Saint ' tries to be ' Mission : Imposs...
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The Year That Everyone Talked Non-Stop
In 1977 , there was a unpopular Labour Government in power , the economy was in bad shape , the Tories had a charismatic new leader , and Bruce Forsyth was to be found on Saturday night television . Funny how things change , eh ? ' 1990 ' was a B . B . C . - 2 drama set in a Britain where freedom is a myth and bureaucr...
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Benny In Love
Eddie is one of nature's losers . One day , he meets and falls in love with the lovely Kathy , and sets about trying to woo her . He buys a car from a shady second-hand dealer , but it breaks down as he drives home . His attempts to impress her with his tennis playing technique go awry - he cannot keep up with his much...
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Robin Tripp Vs . Captain Mainwaring
One year after its launch , ' Man About The House ' was filmed by Hammer . All the original cast were present and correct , and at least the characters stayed on home territory rather than flying off to Spain . But the ' opening out ' of the format to encompass new characters such as the nymphomaniac Miss Bird ( Andrea...
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More Plain Than Pearl
Reg and Old Wol are stuffing themselves with oysters when the former finds a pearl in his . Convinced it might be valuable , he hides it from his workmates ' beady eyes , before taking it to a jewellers ' . That night , he offers it as a gift to Irene , who accepts . But when the jeweller phones to tell them it is wort...
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Simon In The ' 80's
A decade after the Ian Ogilvy version , ' The Saint ' was back on our screens , this time played by Simon Dutton . We were promised a tougher , grittier take on the character , but the series failed to deliver . Dutton was handsome but lacked the charm required for the role . Once again , there was expensive location f...
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Not Very Hot
Cleaning Mr . Cromwell's office , Potter sucks the headmaster's pet mouse up his vacuum cleaner . It is not the only disaster that day . Tidying up the science lab , Godber thoughtlessly puts a bottle of nitric acid in a box of rubbish bound for the incinerator . When Price realises this , he panics . The school is eva...
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Percy Thrower Never Said It Would Be Like This
Koenig and Maya are exploring a world covered in lush , semi-tropical vegetation . Casually picking a flower , he is startled when a voice booms out of nowhere : " Cannibals ! Murderers ! You will be punished as cannibals and murderers deserve to be ! " . This is a world where evolution has taken a different turn and p...
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Who Cares Who Killed Nolan ?
Tom Nolan ( Sam Kydd ) , a small-time private detective , has been hired by Mrs . Arnoldson ( Ursula Howells ) to spy on her husband ( Griffith Jones ) , whom she suspects of having an affair . She is absolutely correct on that score . He is seeing the lovely Angela ( Nike Arrighi ) and plans on running off with her to...
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A Moving Experience !
Duncan , Dick , Andy , Kate and Gascoigne are fed up with having to share the same office , so they complain . The Hospital Secretary proposes they exchange offices with Loftus . But the doctors are still unhappy as they now have to walk longer distances to the operating theatre , while Loftus no longer has access to h...
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Potter Loses it !
Potter has an assistant - a young black man named Sidney Noakes . Sidney can fix anything , whether it be a broken door-knob , leaking radiator or David's sports car . Initially distrusting the newcomer , Potter proudly introduces him to the whole school . Even 4C cheer when they first clap eyes on him . Then two malic...
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Rising Damp , Its Climbing Up The Wall !
The film version of ' Rising Damp ' came out two years after the television series ended . Like many fans I duly went along to the cinema when it opened . I came away bitterly disappointed . Eric Chappell could not have spent very much time writing the script ; most of it is rehashed ideas from old episodes . At the ti...
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When Paul Squire Made A Good Impression !
Its funny how some people can go from ' rising star ' to total obscurity without managing to become a success somewhere along the way . This , alas , was the fate of Paul Squire , a gifted , fresh-faced young impressionist who'd made a big splash on The Royal Variety Show ( B . B . C . - 1 , 23 November 1980 ) . Amongs...
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But that was twenty years ago !
Time has marched on since Doctors Paul Collier , Dick Stuart-Clark and Duncan Waring first met as students at St . Swithins . In 1991 , Paul is a consultant with his own Harley Street practice , Dick has taken over Loftus ' old job as Professor of Surgery ( a position he obtained after his rich wife Emma made a large d...
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Straight Down The Middle !
One of Johnny Speight's lesser creations , ' The Nineteenth Hole ' was set in a posh golf club where chauvinism and bigotry are rife among the well-heeled members . Speight was a golf lover and knew what went on in these places . Eric Sykes , kitted out in flat cap and long johns , played the club's harassed secretary ...
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When Norman Was Nobody
Norman Wisdom's film career seemed to be well and truly over by 1970 ( his last cinematic outing being 1969's ' What's Good For The Goose ' ) , so he accepted an offer from A . T . V . to do a sitcom . ' Norman ' was penned by Ray Cooney and John Chapman , and cast him as ' Norman Wilkins ' , an Inland Revenue man who ...
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Not Worth A Tanner
' The Incredible Mister Tanner ' was an episode of ' The Ronnie Barker Playhouse ' , written by Johnnie Mortimer and Brian Cooke , and broadcast on / 1968 . Barker played ' Cyril Tanner ' , a useless escapologist whose main audience are people in cinema and theatre queues and who has unrealistic aspirations to be the n...
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Up For The Cup !
Football mania infects Fenn Street School . Even Smithy is caught up in it . One of the 5C boys - the would-be protest singer Des Ridley - is found to have a natural aptitude for the game . During Miss Ewell's music class , he calls her an ' old boiler ' , so she puts him in detention . Without Des on their team , Fenn...
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Jerry Gets His Marching Orders
As Ben Elton once observed , nothing goes quicker out of style than comedy . Steve Martin's latest offering - ' The Pink Panther 2 ' - recently opened to bad reviews and dismal box-office grosses , while Mike Myers ' ' The Love Guru ' seems to have won few admirers . In 1970 , it was Jerry Lewis ' turn to feel the pain...
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You didn't tell us your surname was ' Nuts ' , Hazel !
The Goodies are nearly broke and freezing to death in their office . Then a sexy young woman named Hazel hires the lads to search for her explorer father , who went missing twenty years ago whilst searching for the lost tribe of the Orinoco . Using his diary , they recreate his journey step for step - and find themselv...
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Bang ! Bang ! The Mighty Fall !
Scottish singer Brian ( B . A . ) Robertson was a familiar face on British television in the early ' 80's , having racked up Top Ten hits such as ' Bang ! Bang ! ' and ' Knocked It Off ' . A regular guest on ' Pop Quiz ' and ' Saturday Superstore ' , he came across as an engaging , likable character with a zany sense o...
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Not One Of Mary's Favourites
No , this wasn't a spin-off from ' Rising Damp ' . This Miss Jones was a young mum from London , played by Paula Wilcox , bringing up her child alone after the father , a Fleet Street journalist , does a runner ( the swine ! ) . Richard Waring specialised in forgettable , middle-of-the-road domestic sitcoms , such as '...
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The Final Term Begins . . .
En route to Fenn Street , Hedges happens across a mother trying to discipline her unruly son . The boy does not want to go to school , so the teacher offers to take him . On arrival , however , he discovers the boy belongs at Weaver Street . No sooner has he taken the boy there than he runs off . Hedges finally begins ...
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But I've had mumps !
Examining one of Collier's patients ( an obstinate old woman demanding a second opinion ) , Upton keels over . He has the symptoms of mumps , and is admitted to St . Swithins as a patient . Unfortunately , he is on Bingham's ward , and finds himself next to Mr . Gilbert , an annoying man who fancies he knows more about...
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Noel - Honestly !
In 1980 , Noel Edmonds stunned the world by declaring that he was in love with a television programme . It was , of course , ' Pig In The Middle ' , scripted by the talented husband-and-wife writing team of Terence Brady and Charlotte Bingham , also responsible for the wonderful ' No-Honestly ' . The premise was this ;...
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No Gold At The End Of This Rainbow
A train carrying one billion dollars in gold bullion is hijacked in Denmark . Its panic time on the world's money markets , so I . C . E . calls on its best agent ( guess who ? ) to recover it . The only lead they have is a beautiful dancer named Lola Medina , ex-girlfriend of Count Massimo Contini . Lola claims to hav...
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Did You Hear The One About . . .
. . . the Englishman , the Scotsman , the Irishman , and the Welshman ? Vince Powell obviously did , because that was the premise of this short-lived Thames sitcom . Having co-created popular shows such as ' George & The Dragon ' , ' Two In Clover ' ( what a little gem that was ! ) , ' For The Love Of Ada ' , ' Never M...
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We'll Meet Again
Eyebrows were raised when in the year of America's Bicentennial celebrations , Granada produced a sitcom with the unfortunate title ' Yanks Go Home ! ' . It was set in a northern town during World War Two , overrun by G . I . ' s who , according to the surly locals , are ' over paid , over sexed , and over here ' . Wit...
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Browned Off !
1980 was a vintage year for Margaret Thatcher impersonators . Not only was there one in Downing Street , but two - both with the surname Brown - landed their own shows . Busty Faith Brown shot to fame on L . W . T . ' s ' Who Do You Do ? ' , a quick fire sketch show starring top impressionists of the day such as Freddi...
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And you thought ' Escape To Victory ' was daft . . .
A football match is to take place between the Luxton bus company and ' The Basildon Bashers ' . The winning team gets a fiver each , so Stan ( in need of ready cash as ever ) signs up , along with Jack . Blakey assumes responsibility for knocking his squad into shape , but nearly puts himself in hospital . With one man...
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The Lost ' Alf Garnett Saga '
Six years after ' Till Death Us Do Part ' ended , Alf Garnett crossed channels to A . T . V . - home of ' Crossroads ' . He and Else have retired to Eastbourne with their friend and former next-door neighbour Min , now a widow . As you would expect , they stand out like a sore thumb amongst the well-heeled locals . In ...
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Travesty Blaise
Fox pinned hopes on ' Modesty ' becoming a franchise to rival Bond , but these were cruelly dashed as Joseph Losey's film played to mostly empty theatres in the U . K . and U . S . A . ( it did rather better on the Continent ) . Taken on its own terms , its not too bad . Jack Shampan's production design is superb , as ...
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Barely A Step Up From ' Dr . Goldfoot '
BIG O kidnaps the inventor of a death-ray so I . C . E . fakes Matt Helm's death to convince them he is no longer a threat . Posing as a mobster , our hero flies to the French Riviera where danger awaits . Rush released to exploit the success of ' The Silencers , ' Murderers ' Row ' is inferior in every respect . Any p...
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Duncan And Dick In Oz !
' Doctor In The House ' began in 1969 , ran for nine years ( under various titles ) , and ended when it was still popular . Two years later , Robin Nedwell and Geoffrey Davies reunited for this short-lived spin off / sequel for Australia's Network 7 . Waring and Stuart-Clark have once again burned their bridges at St ....