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I'm Billy ! " I'm Johnny ! " " Hello everyone ! "
Gareth Hale and Norman Pace rose to fame part of the alternative comedy boom of the ' 80's , which was strange because strictly speaking , they were far from alternative . Their repertoire of comic characters included the ' Two Rons ' , thuggish gangsters whose catchphrase was " We are The Management ! " ( based on the...
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Nixon And His Magic
I've never been fond of magic acts ( Tommy Cooper excepted ! ) but I always watched ' The David Nixon Show ' , which occupied the ' Opportunity Knocks ' slot of 6 . 45 on a Monday evening . Why ? Because of Nixon himself . He was like your favourite uncle - bald , elderly , a shade eccentric , had he been an actor he'd...
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The Man Who Officially Does Not Exist
In 1965 , Adam Hall ( Elleston Trevor ) wrote ' The Quiller Memorandum ' , in which a British secret agent goes to Berlin to investigate the death of one Kenneth Lindsay Jones , who had uncovered a neo-Nazi revivalist group known as ' Phonix ' . This highly acclaimed book was filmed a year later , with George Segal as ...
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The Battle Of Oil Drum Lane !
Season 8 of ' Steptoe & Son ' saw some classic episodes such as ' And So To Bed ' and ' Upstairs , Downstairs , Upstairs , Downstairs ' , but also one or two below-par efforts such as ' Back In Fashion ' and this one . It begins with Albert emerging from a cinema showing ' Enter The Dragon ' starring Bruce Lee . His at...
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Stannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn !
Flu strikes the Butler household . Olive and Mrs . Butler take to their beds , hot water bottles at the ready , while Stan and Arthur are forced to carry out all the domestic chores . Poor Stan is driven to the point of nervous breakdown by the insistent demands of his family . Eventually , they recover , but then Stan...
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A Hair Raising Time For Arthur !
Once again money is tight in the Butler household , and Stan cannot secure overtime as Blakey wants conductors not drivers . In desperation , he is forced to join the cleaning ladies . His first day in the job is not a success - he smashes a window on his own bus . Back home , Arthur is behaving in a furtive manner . S...
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My dead husband has walked in through the door !
Syrie Van Epp digs up Phil Scrotty's final resting place - only to find he is not in it . Anticipating elimination by Miss Dunner ( June Watson ) of Dept . K for double-crossing them , he got someone to put blanks in her gun . So now he is on the run , and sleeping with the recently widowed Mrs . Abigail Whitebait . Ex...
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Hello . This is The Brown Cow speaking ! .
Based on a stage play by Tom Brennand and Roy Bottomley , ' Not On Your Nellie ' cast the irrepressible Hylda Baker as Nellie Pickersgill , a northern spinster who inherits a shabby London pub which she decides to run with her father Jed ( John Barrett , who'd also played her father in the ' Nearest & Dearest ' pilot )...
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Duncan Waring - Prime Suspect !
Angered by the Purser's malicious gossip , Duncan assaults him before the passengers and crew . Some time later , the Purser is accidentally locked in the ship's storeroom whilst observing Duncan helping himself to a bottle of wine and a couple of steaks . When the Purser's absence is noticed , suspicion falls on Dunca...
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The School Of The Sixth Unhappiness !
5C embarks on a project which involves them measuring the exterior walls of Fenn Street School and , in Dennis ' case , counting the number of bricks in them . When Hedges ventures onto the roof to obtain a piece of brick , 5C lock the trapdoor behind him , ensuring they do not have to waste more time on the pointless ...
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Enter The Weaver Street Gang !
Eighty-seven pupils from the newly-closed Weaver Street School move to Fenn Street . They include hard-case Terry Stringer , his dimwitted cousin Robin ' Godber ' Gibbons , guitar-playing anarchist Des Ridley , the lovely if common-as-muck Celia , and her devoted friend , Daisy . Ffitchett-Brown finds the class impossi...
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Kev's ' ere !
In the wake of ' Not The Nine O'Clock News ' , several sketch shows sprang up , each attempting to recapture the original's healthy disrespect for authority and revelling in sheer bad taste for the sake of it . Made by B . B . C . Scotland , ' A Kick Up The Eighties ' is best remembered today for bringing the then-unkn...
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The Charge Of The Light Fingered Brigade !
Cromwell is invited to address The Rotary Club , and asks Miss Ewell to write his speech . When she refuses , he locks himself in his office , and begins to reorganise the school , drawing up a giant-sized timetable . David wants to use the playground to stage a reenactment of ' The Charge Of The Light Brigade ' , but ...
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Oh Chichester , Oh Chichester , you bastion of endeavour !
Cromwell decides that the pupils of Fenn St . School should be sub-divided into ' houses ' , each named after a great British hero . Hedges asks Duffy which house he would like to be in , so he chooses one at random . The rest of the class joins him . Potter is appalled to discover that 5C are in ' Montgomery ' , named...
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I want a duck-duck !
Penny emerges from Hedges ' bathroom wearing only a towel , and accompanied by David Rose's ' The Stripper ' . Nice way to begin an episode , don't you think ? Frankie is rushed to hospital with appendicitis . His hypochondriac mother begins inflicting her complex medical problems on fellow patients . Over Frankie's si...
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Look ! I'm dreadfully confused !
Contestants for ' The Nicest Person In The World ' award are being systematically nobbled . The Goodies find this out the hard way when they get chased by an angry mob out to steal their trandem . Taking refuge in a police station , they cannot believe it when the desk sergeant starts blowing raspberries and issuing sc...
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C'mon everybody , its gibbon time !
Once again , the Goodies are out of work . Then a mysterious woman claiming to be a witch - named Hazel , of course - turns up at their offices , wishing to conduct a seance . Thinking her a raving lunatic , the Goodies accede to her request . As the witch repeatedly cries out " Is anyone there ? " , they humour her by...
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Army Games
The Goodies fancy a nice holiday in Penrudden Cove , Cornwall . They find it strangely deserted , except for one dotty old vicar . The British army has evacuated the area , planning on using it as a testing site for a new missile . The Goodies aren't having that , so they break into the barracks and alter the blueprint...
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The Goodies Go For Gold !
The Minister of Sport asks The Goodies to represent Britain in the Commonwealth Games . As all the other Commonwealth countries have gained independence , the only competitor is August Bank Holiday Island , where the games will take place . The Goodies undergo various fitness procedures ( including a sex test courtesy ...
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Lewis In London
In the mid-'60's , Walter Shenson scored at the box office with the Richard Lester directed Beatles films ' A Hard Day's Night ' and ' Help ! ' and was keen to do other films in a similar madcap vein . One was the underrated ' 30 Is A Dangerous Age Cynthia ' starring Dudley Moore . Another was this - ' Don't Raise The ...
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Oh Cod !
Iceland extends its fishing limits by a further 2 , 000 miles , which alas encompasses most of the British Isles . Tim learns this the hard way when , sitting by a riverbank one day , he is shot at by a boat load of eskimos . With most of the U . K . ' s fish reserves now officially belonging to another country , Graem...
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Trapped In The Triangle
' The Fantastic Journey ' , along with ' Planet Of The Apes ' , ' Logan's Run ' , ' The Invisible Man ' and ' Gemini Man ' flopped in the U . S . A . , but here in the United Kingdom proved enormously popular . They were slickly produced , boasting better special effects ( and lots of flashing lights ! ) than our Briti...
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What A Brilliant Man !
Its the first day of a new term at Fenn St . School and 5C return to find a painter and decorator - Mr . Turner - at work in their classroom . Mr . Hedges tries a novel way of teaching his unruly class maths - using betting shop terminology as a model . His class displays a natural aptitude for the subject , particular...
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5C Gets Multicultural !
A new boy joins Hedges ' class - Panalal Datta - who is only there temporarily until he returns to India . Hedges is unhappy because he feels his class is full enough already . Word gets out about the new arrival . At the next meeting of the Teachers & Parents Association , the only parents who turn up are Panalal's . ...
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Caught On Camera !
Fenn Street Secondary Modern are planning an ' Open Day ' , but 5C's contribution will consist of ' coats and teas ' . Hedges is having none of it , and suggests the class make a movie entitled ' Our School ' . The class are thrilled , particularly Sharon , who sees it as her chance to break into movies . But the resul...
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Mary Whitehouse Was Not A Fan
Remembered as a bland ' 70's I . T . V . sitcom , ' Robin's Nest ' outraged Mrs . Mary Whitehouse when it first appeared ! Unlike the set-up of ' Man About The House ' , Robin was clearly sleeping with the girl - airline stewardess Vicky - he lived with . It was only as the series progressed - Robin married Vicky , and...
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Terror In The Post Office !
Les wishes to buy a 25 pence postal order to go with his pools coupon . An easy enough task you might think . But at the Post Office he encounters problem after problem - firstly , he is mistaken for a robber , the cashiers run out of postal orders , he keeps losing his place in the queue , a gay man ( yes , its Roy ag...
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McGill's Treasure Hunt
Richard Bradford said that several ' Suitcase ' episodes were originally intended for other shows . ' Find The Lady ' gives the impression of having been planned for either ' The Baron ' or ' The Saint ' . McGill is in Rome when he is visited by Mori ( John Garrie ) , a filthy little man who refers to him as ' Macagill...
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Save Our Pool !
The St . Swithins ' indoor swimming pool is scheduled to be demolished shortly , so that a new ward can be built , to be named after Loftus . A pretty young doctor named Diana organises a protest , and ropes in Dick and Duncan , the latter being sweet on her . Bingham , of course , sides with Loftus . After promising t...
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Sir , Waring is a tea-bag !
A spate of petty pilfering at St . Swithins leads Duncan to suspect Paul and Dick , who in turn suspect him . Bingham , meanwhile , suspects them all . The atmosphere in the hospital suddenly turns paranoid . Bingham's attempt at playing detective lead him down a laundry chute . He cries wolf so many times that , when ...
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Is everybody anarchy ?
Upton is summoned to the Dean's office . A photo in a newspaper shows him participating in a students ' protest . It looks as though Upton faces expulsion from St . Swithins until Loftus points out that the picture was , in fact , taken in New York . Upton was at the Dean's tea party the day before , a fact the old duf...
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I wish they all could be . . .
Kirby Allen is young , American and beautiful . Loftus wants her wealthy father to buy a expensive piece of medical equipment for St . Swithins . Which means that for the next 24 hours , she must remain ' sober and unmolested ' . Fat chance . As soon as they clap eyes on her , Duncan , Dick and Andy start drooling . A ...
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Off To The Caribbean !
Ffitchett-Brown wants to dust the cobwebs out of Fenn Street School , so requisitions a tape recorder and television set for his class , but Cromwell seems more interested in the yo-yo craze currently sweeping the country . Noticing some lads absent from school , David tracks them to the Caribbean Billiard Hall . The b...
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Accused !
Duncan and Stuart-Clark are warned by Captain Loftus not to make amorous advances towards the lady passengers . As if they would ! On their next port of call - Spain - they make for the beach in search of senoritas . While Dick goes to fetch ice-cream , Duncan relaxes . Spotting a girl in trouble in the water , he rush...
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Today The Hairdryer - Tomorrow The World !
Interviewed by ' The T . V . Times ' in 1981 , James Coburn claimed that Fox were so keen to get ' In Like Flint ' into cinemas they didn't care if the script was workable or not . It wasn't unfortunately ; reversing the premise of the original , the ' baddies ' here are women attempting to impose a new world order whe...
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Men's Sana In . . . Oh , Whatever It Is
Upton and Dick are at Stokely Manor Health Farm , run by the eccentric Stanley Moon . The patients are driven to near-insanity by the strict regimen he enforces . Endless cups of lemon-flavoured water and grapefruit are the order of the day . Dick bets Upton a fiver he cannot go without food for twenty-four hours . Una...
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Upton In Love - Again !
Upton is smitten by Dr . Nicky Barrington , and the feeling is reciprocated . He plans a holiday-for-two in Devon , but then Collier brings some exciting news - Bingham has been sacked from the Dean's firm ( a post he landed in ' Now Dr . Upton . . . ' ) , meaning there is now a vacancy for a surgeon . Despite having b...
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Typhoid !
Dick and Paul are suffering from dreadful hangovers , so Duncan makes their lives hell by deliberately dropping bedpans and the like . With Bingham off sick , Duncan agrees to take his students round the ward . Among them is the cack-handed Reggie Grace ( Tony Robinson ) , last seen in the previous year's ' Amazing Gra...
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Nasty Nick Gets My Goat !
A runner named Hal 14 is pursued through the City Of Domes and shot dead by a Sandman . At a laboratory , the Sandman's entire physical appearance is surgically altered to resemble the dead runner , who was a friend of Jessica's . Logan , Jessica and Rem encounter ' Hal 14 ' , who claims that there a revolution brewing...
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Carousel Is Death !
The television version of ' Logan's Run ' begins in much the same fashion as the 1976 movie of the same name ; we open with an aerial shot of a fantastic city of domes , decades after nuclear wars have ravaged our planet . The year is 2319 . It is a perfect world of pleasure - but only if you're under 30 . Then , on ' ...
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The Hunting Of The Sandmen
Francis finally catches up with Logan , Jessica , and Rem . Leaving Rem in the company of fellow Sandman Benjamin , Francis takes the Runners back to the City Of Domes for reprogramming . En route , Jessica is abducted by James Borden , a big game hunter who lives in a gadget-packed house protected by a force field . B...
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Get The Abbott Habit !
With Peter Rogers and Gerald Thomas in charge , the film version of ' Bless This House ' was bound to wind up looking like a ' Carry On ' . No bad thing , it has to be said . The first and most sensible thing they did was replace Robin Stewart with Robin Askwith as Sid's son Mike . Stewart was boring , Askwith is cheek...
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Beware : Caesar !
At the London planetarium , Sloane has a rendezvous with a fellow U . N . I . T . agent - only to find him dead , two marks on his neck . Pursuing an attractive young woman , he is set upon by her minders , knocked out cold , and nearly electrocuted , until rescued by Torque . The dead agent had uncovered a plan to fir...
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The Big Sayonara !
Carlos Casal , the premier of San Marcos , South America , is in the United States on an official visit . He has been receiving unknown threats urging him to stand down , so he calls on U . N . I . T . for protection . They send along their top man - Thomas Sloane . A group of men break into Casal's residence , overpow...
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Bannister's Angels
Sloane and Torque are in France , watching technicians testing a new laser gun . Suddenly , they are attacked by a group of ' schoolgirls ' , who make off with the weapon . Sloane tries to stop them , but is overpowered and thrown out of a speeding truck . Luckily he has managed to steal a ruby without which the gun is...
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When the man at the top panics , the dominoes start to fall !
In the aftermath of Watergate , a number of conspiracy movies appeared , such as this one , written by the late Adam Kennedy ( based on his novel ) . Gene Hackman plays ex-Vietnam veteran ' Roy Tucker ' , a loser who has wound up in prison . He receives visits from Marvin Tagge ( Richard Widmark ) , who claims to repre...
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Its his brain we care about , my dear !
This was the American public's first sighting of Priority One agent for U . N . I . T . - Thomas Remington Sloane The Third . British audiences , however , got the pilot - ' T . R . Sloane Of The Secret Service ' ( later retitled ' Death Ray 2000 ' ) - first when it was shown over the Christmas 1979 period . I can reme...
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I Think We Gave Him The Slip !
A U . S . space probe to Venus brings back an unwelcome hitch-hiker - a microbe capable of destroying all life on Earth . Dr . Charles Franklyn is part of a team of scientists working on an antidote , only to steal both the microbe and antidote with the help of the lovely Charlene . Sloane and Torque chase after him , ...
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Gentle humour from Jimmy
This popular Harry Driver / Vince Powell series starred the late , great Jimmy Jewel as Tommy , an embittered pensioner forced to go and live with his daughter and her garrulous husband in their high-rise flat after his house is demolished by the local council . Feeling a misfit , he goes for a walk in the park , where...
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David's Lost Weekend
Dennis has got a fortnight's holiday entitlement , and does not know what to do with himself , so Duffy books him into a guest house near the seaside . It isn't the most exciting place in the world to be ; the residents are elderly , and some appear senile . With no-one of his own age to talk to , Dennis quickly become...
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For My Next Trick . . .
In a cruel irony , ex-teacher Bernard Hedges is out of work , while his former pupils have landed good jobs . The Labour Exchange offers him the exciting prospect of ' wizarding ' - demonstrating kitchen appliances at a department store whilst dressed as a wizard . But the food mixers and blenders cannot be turned off ...
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Frankie Turns Criminal !
At an army reunion , Frankie is reunited with his old pal Chalky White . Also in attendance is Sergeant Hardman , their old nemesis . Frankie takes the opportunity to turn the tables by publicly humiliating the ex-sergeant with the aid of a cream cake and a soda syphon . Later , at Chalky's flat , Frankie is given a va...
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Mamma Mia !
With his mother away , Frankie has the house all to himself . He boasts to the other Gang members that he intends getting ' a couple of birds ' . With Dennis in tow , he chats up a pair of Italian girls ; Liza , who is pretty , and Gina , who isn't ( and also upset because she is pregnant ) . In the nearest bus shelter...
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Frankie On Trial !
While reporting a stolen car to the police , Frankie is asked to take part in an identity parade . He is made to wear an old coat , and stand in line with other similarly attired men . An old woman named Mrs . Beauchum claims to have been bothered by a flasher , and picks Frankie as the culprit . Poor Frankie goes to c...
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Do you want sex now or later ?
Frankie tries computer dating , and meets Nellie , a three-times married widow with some strange habits such as playing an imaginary piano . He is repulsed by her initially , but weakens , eventually proposing marriage . To celebrate , she offers to cook him Chilli Con Carne . Frankie tucks in gratefully . What he does...
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I've been caught by the Privates !
Its World War Two , and Frankie is part of a concert party out to entertain the troops in France . After becoming separated from his platoon , he wanders into an old farmhouse , wherein he is captured by members of The French Resistance , led by the stunning Captain Latour . Establishing his nationality by scrawling th...
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Dr . Smelley ? He sounds a real stinker !
Frankie goes into hospital to have a tonsillectomy , but finds the staff , especially the wise-cracking Dr . Smelley and bullish Matron Scuttlebutt , a pain . The receptionist fails to recognise him and old men in striped pyjamas bombard him with their ailments . To make matters worse , he is placed in a small ward wit...
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' Hi-de-Hi ' Was Never Like This !
Having failed dismally with their driving school , Sid Noggett ( Tony Booth ) and Timmy Lea ( Robin Askwith ) head off to Funfrall Holiday Camp , a paradise where the possibilities for sex are limitless . The only thing missing is the weather . But then their fun is stymied by the arrival of new manager Whitemonk ( Joh...
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Charity Begins At Home
I do miss Leslie Crowther . Though hardly one of Britain's greatest ever comedians , he had great likability and charisma , and could turn his hand to anything , whether it be kids T . V . ( ' Crackerjack ' ) , variety shows ( ' The Saturday Crowd ' ) , sketch shows ( ' Crowther's In Town ' ) , talent shows ( ' Stars I...
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What John Alderton Did Next . . .
' Please Sir ! ' was a massive success for I . T . V . in the late ' 60's / early ' 70's , making John Alderton into a household name . He left the show at the start of its fourth and final season in 1971 . Naturally he was not about to sign on at the local Employment Exchange . Television companies kept him gainfully ...
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Norman Throws Away The Cloth Cap
As the ' 60's began to swing , a sea change took place in British comedy . Family-oriented fare gave way to a much ruder , cruder style . The ' Carry On ' films were well placed to take advantage of this , but poor old Norman Wisdom found himself out in the cold . Determined not to be left behind , he co-wrote and co-p...
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Norman Catches The Worm !
Mention the name Norman Wisdom to many and the chances are the first thing they think of is of him in that ill-fitting ' gump ' suit , mugging frantically , falling over to the strangulated cry of ' Mr . Grimsdale ! ' . Comedy film fans may make the sign of the cross at his name , but the fact is he was the No . 1 Brit...
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Back To St . Swithins
' Doctor On The Go ' saw Duncan Waring and Dick Stuart-Clark back at St . Swithins , and once more under the watchful eye of Professor Sir Geoffrey Loftus . New characters included the permanently inebriated Scot ' Dr . Andrew MacKenzie ' ( played by future ' Terry & June ' scriptwriter John Kane ) , the conceited ' Bi...
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I am not what I seem !
Released in 1964 , ' A Hard Day's Night ' was a movie classic . ' Help ' , which came out a year later , had the potential to be better still ; a bigger budget , colour , exotic locations , top-notch British character actors of the calibre of Leo McKern , Patrick Cargill , Victor Spinetti and Roy Kinnear . Yet despite ...
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Billy's Kung Fu Fighting !
Billy has been bitten by the Kung Fu bug . To the horror of fiancée Barbara , he breaks off their engagement ( again ) to embark on a quest to China ( or India or Pakistan , he does not know where ) in search of his spiritual destiny . Billy's Dad is more interested in knowing where his gardening hat and tool bag have ...
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Billy Sees A Shrink !
Concerned by his son's inability to tell a truthful word , Mr . Fisher consults eminent psychiatrist Dr . Smiley . Questioning Billy , the doctor concludes that the elaborate fantasies are as a result of his craving for affection . Hence the Fishers , Gran , and even Mr . Shadrack , endeavour to be as nice to Billy as ...
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Billy Drops Out !
Stealing a model Concorde from a display in Mr . Shadrach's window , Billy is having the time of his life in the shopping mall pretending to be a pilot when he hears his name called . His old friend Colin Westmacott has become a guitar-playing hippie who rejoices in the new name of ' Slug ' , and , with his sexy girlfr...
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Billy Fancies A Foot !
Billy is dating sexy art student Sandra Bullock ( no relation ! ) . He tells her that his grandmother is a leading art critic , so she hands over an erotic painting entitled ' Lust ' , and asks for his grandmother's opinion . Later , Billy's dad finds the picture and is so shocked he throws it into the dustbin . Then S...
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What is wrong with ' camp ' ?
One thing that strikes me from reading these reviews is that people have sadly forgotten how to appreciate ' camp ' . Back in the ' 60's , camp was in vogue , thanks to the ' Batman ' television series , as well as movies such as ' Our Man Flint / In Like Flint ' and Dean Martin's ' Matt Helm ' series ( which began wit...
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Get ' em off then !
A game of Monopoly in the Fisher household turns into a blazing family row . Mr and Mrs . Fisher decide to go to the pub , leaving Billy alone with Barbara . Well , not quite , because his grandmother is there too , but Billy isn't concerned about her . He senses a golden opportunity to get his fiancée into bed . Whils...
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Brush Up Your Shakespeare !
Billy plans on spending a weekend with Barbara at Stratford-Upon-Avon , ostensibly to see a theatre production of ' Julius Caesar ' . Really , he has his sights set on slightly less intellectual pursuits - he wants a dirty weekend . When Barbara storms out on him after a heated row in a cafe , he starts flirting with s...
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The Little Aussie Bleeder
In 1982 , the newly-launched ' Channel 4 ' set out to widen British viewers ' horizons by screening two Australian comedy imports : ' The Paul Hogan Show ' and ' The Norman Gunston Show ' . The former , a straight copy of ' The Benny Hill Show ' , was more accessible to U . K . audiences ( and paved the way for the com...
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Stan Vs . The Macho Men !
Fearful of being sacked by Blakey , Stan enters a contest to find the perfect busman - the winner's face will used on on a new poster promoting the bus company . His competition are three macho-looking males , so to stand a fighting chance he agrees to undergo ' beauty treatment ' , which involves being fitted with a f...
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Just the ticket !
Peter is looking forward to England playing West Germany at Wembley Stadium . Walking past a post box , he absent-mindedly pops in the envelope containing his ticket . A policeman , seeing him trying to put his hand inside , wanders over . The postman ( Albert Moses ) opens the box , but refuses to hand back the ticket...
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It Could Be You !
An episode of the second series of ' The Worker ' . Charlie reports to the Employment Exchange . As Mr . Pugh rants and raves about how he has devoted twenty years of his life trying to find him steady work , Charlie is secretly listening to a horse race on the radio . He has a gambling problem - namely , he is no good...
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Your Grumbleweeds Need You !
I have a confession to make . One that will astound my loyal band of devoted followers ( I know you're out there , folks ! ) . Here it is : I actually like The Grumbleweeds . There I've said it . Now the world can carry on as before . Why , I hear you ask ? Weren't they those idiots who used to be on I . T . V . on Sat...
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Ding Dong !
A decade ago , B . B . C . - 2 brought us ' Politically Incorrect Night ' , the usual talking head stuff interspersed with out-of-context clips of ' Mind Your Language ' , ' The Benny Hill Show ' , ' Curry & Chips ' and , of course , ' Love Thy Neighbour ' . Mysteriously absent was ' Casanova 73 ' , Ray Galton and Alan...
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Like Father , Like Son
Henry ( Leslie Phillips ) gets a phone call from his old headmaster , Dr . Spratforth ( Ronald Adam ) concerning his fourteen-year old son , Roger ( Roger Monk ) who is facing possible expulsion from Windthrift School For Boys because of a complaint brought by maths teacher Miss Phyllis Dropmore ( Cyd Hayman ) . Roger ...
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Triple Date !
Mrs . Tranmere , one of the passengers aboard the M . S . Begonia , is rich , American , and - how can I put this - has a fondness for crew members . On clapping eyes on Duncan , she falls for him . Her daughter , Susan , is also taken with the young doctor . Suddenly he finds himself on a simultaneous date not only wi...
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Welcome To SlapstickWorld !
The final edition of ' Six Dates With Barker ' was a rare excursion by Ronnie Barker ( he wrote it under his ' Gerald Wiley ' alias ) into science fiction . It is 2774 A . D . A head of state lays dying . A physician arrives to tend to his final needs . He makes his entrance by jumping through a circus-style hoop , bef...
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Gonna Have Fun In The Sun
We don't get shows like ' Hi ! Summer ' anymore , do we ? Name me one programme on now that opens with its high spirited cast cast larking about on a brightly coloured bus to the upbeat strains of a Lyndsay De Paul tune . Some might think that the culling of these shows was a good thing , but I beg to differ . I used t...
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Henry's Final Fling !
The final episode of Galton and Simpson's mickey-take of the sexual revolution brought the series to a definite end . Henry is suffering from that middle-aged man's curse - impotence . " If Raquel Welch walked in here now stark naked , I's be lucky to raise a smile ! " , he tells Carol in bed . He vows to visit a priva...
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Terror From The Tube
Some things about the past are best left undisturbed - Count Dracula's coffin , King Tut's tomb , and the career of Noel Edmonds . Ever since I can remember Noel's name has been synonimous with ' rubbish T . V . ' . From ' Top Of The Pops ' through to ' Noel's House Party ' , everything he has touched has turned to sog...
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Will this war never end ?
Fritz Braun ( Ronnie Barker ) , butler to Kaiser Wilhelm ( Dennis Ramsden ) , is believed to be a security risk , so the Kaiser orders Captain Otto Von Diesel ( Graham Armitage ) to shoot him . But Von Diesel , Braun's brother-in-law , only pretends to do so . Glamorous German agent Lola Fisher has gone missing , hence...
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I'm a looney !
John Cleese , in need of money following a disastrous business venture , accepted Humphrey Barclay's offer to write several episodes of ' Doctor At Large ' in 1971 . Among them was the classic ' No Ill Feeling ! ' , later to inspire ' Fawlty Towers ' . Also that year Cleese penned this episode of ' Six Dates With Barke...
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Move Over Moore ! The Other Feller's Back !
As the ' 70's drew to a close , rumours began to fly in the entertainment industry about the possible return of Sean Connery to the role he had made famous back in 1962 - James Bond . Cubby Broccoli was asked on location in Brazil during the making of ' Moonraker ' by the B . B . C . ' s Barry Norman how he viewed the ...
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Before ' The X-Files ' , There Was ' The Enigma Files '
Rugged British actor Tom Adams , once tipped as a possible successor to Sean Connery as ' James Bond ' , never seemed to find the right vehicle for stardom . He was in ' The Great Escape ' , not that anyone probably noticed , and played secret agent ' Charles Vine ' in a trilogy of low-budget spoofs in the mid-60's . H...
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Take A Movie Like This
I read someplace that the Boulting Brothers ' 1957 film of ' Lucky Jim ' was originally to have starred Jonathan Miller ( it eventually was made with Ian Carmichael ) . How true that is I do not know . It seems highly unlikely as Miller was virtually unknown until ' Beyond The Fringe ' in 1960 . In 1970 the good doctor...
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I am not eating that ! It is stolen !
Eagle-eyed Blakey notices that the new canteen girl , Suzy , is giving him significantly smaller portions of food ( for the same money ) than Jack and Stan . Furthermore , Stan is taking home left-overs such as sausages and cheese . Suzy has a thing going with Jack and seems to fancy Stan too . Blakey sacks Suzy and re...
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Like mushrooms ? There's plenty growing on the ceiling !
Olive and Arthur are constantly complaining about the state of their room , so Stan bribes Nobby at the depot into letting him have a couple of tins of paint . The room is duly decorated , and nice it looks too . But there's a snag - Arthur has forgotten to mix hardener in with the paint , hence it is still wet when he...
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Stan Goes Diamond Hunting !
Finding a couple of portions of fish and chips on their bus , Stan and Jack gratefully tuck in . However , the woman who bought them turns up at the depot to see if they have been handed in . Blakey lets the woman look over the bus . Noticing a strong smell of fish , she comments on it . Jack tells her that Blakey has ...
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Stan & Jack Have A Hot Time
Jack bets Stan a fiver he cannot last a day without a cigarette . Later that day , Arthur bets Stan a ten-pound note he cannot last a day without a cigarette . Stan tries to stem his craving by over-eating , but the addiction is too strong and he heads to the toilet to have a drag . Arthur appears on the landing , so S...
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An American Wolf In London
Fast-talking U . S . comic Kelly Monteith made such an impact on ' Des O'Connor Tonight ' he was given his own B . B . C . - 2 show . Unlike the dreary Joan Rivers , however , Monteith was a brilliant stand-up in the Robin Williams mold , when telling jokes he could play different characters and switch voices with exhi...
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Stan Butler - Time Traveller ?
Stan is showing Mum and Olive around a local transport museum . He falls asleep at the wheel of a vintage omnibus , and dreams that he is living 100 years in the past , and still a bus driver . Olive is a would-be suffragette , Mum is a washerwoman , Jack is a Luddite opposed to the fitting of engines in the omnibuses ...
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1969 : A Space Odyssey
' Doppleganger ' , ( or ' Journey To The Far Side Of The Sun ' as it is more commonly known ) was written ( with input by the late Donald James ) and produced by Gerry and Sylvia Anderson , best known for their ' Supermarionation ' television shows such as ' Thunderbirds ' . The international space agency Eurosec disco...
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Its Time To Return . . .
Since the triumphant return of ' Dr . Who ' to our screens in 2005 , fans have downgraded the 1996 T . V . movie from a ' disappointment ' to a ' disaster ' . Certainly it didn't lead to the expected follow-up series , but that was down to bad scheduling in the U . S . A . rather than the quality of the film itself . O...
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You are the gentleman with the two prawn balls !
Sid is thrilled to discover that his layabout son Mike has gotten engaged to a rich man's daughter - Pamela Huntley-Johnson . He is less than thrilled , however , when Sally announces her engagement to Pamela's father , who is some thirty years older than herself . . . This episode was the last by the show's creators ,...
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' Wild , Wild West ' Set To A Disco Beat
' A Man Called Sloane ' was a short-lived Quinn Martin show which starred Robert Conrad as trendy antiques dealer Thomas Remington Sloane The Third , also a Priority One secret agent for the counter-espionage organisation U . N . I . T . On entering a secret base behind the facade of a toy boutique in California , he w...
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We've passed a resolution . . .
Television , that master illusionist , can conjure universes out of a hat , inhabited by the wild creations of tortured souls , watched by millions in the belief that what they are seeing is reality . Thanks to television , I thought Johnny Morris was a zoo keeper , Jack Hargreaves lived and breathed the countryside , ...
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When Bobby Was On The Box
In the ' 80's , Bobby Davro was hotly tipped to replace Mike Yarwood as Britain's leading impressionist . The blonde , handsome Davro counted among his repertoire the likes of George Michael , Alex Higgins , Roy Castle , Jonathan King , Johnny Briggs , Duncan Norvelle and Jim Davidson . This series - whilst hardly orig...