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Thirty Years Too Late
As any comedian will tell you , timing is all important . Spoofs of television programmes only work when the targets are contemporary . ' Look Around You ' would have been hilarious had it actually gone out in the ' 70's . Unfortunately , its far too late to be really effective . For one thing , who remembers the style...
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Are You . . . Game For A Laugh ?
The reason ' Game For A Laugh ' wasn't called ' Candid Camera ' was that someone else owned the title . Otherwise it was the same show , consisting of pranks played on unsuspecting members of the general public . The main difference were the ' look at me , aren't I funny ' presenters - Jeremy Beadle , Henry Kelly , Sar...
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How To Assassinate A Computer
Something is wrong with XR40 or ' George ' as he is more commonly known . George is the country's most brilliant computer . An unknown intruder breaks into the top secret establishment where he ( it ? ) is housed and shoots him . George manages to convey his feelings on a printout : " I Have A Message For You Of The Ut...
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Best Of The Post-Sellers ' Pink Panthers '
When Peter Sellers died , you'd have thought they'd have let the ' Pink Panther ' series die with him . But money talks and in 1981 we got the dire ' Trail Of The Pink Panther ' . ' Curse ' , its successor , was an improvement , thanks to a funny performance from the likable Ted Wass , best known as ' Danny Dallas ' fr...
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What we have here is an ongoing clash of loyalties situation !
Shelley is reunited with his oldest friend , Ned , whom he asks to be best man at his forthcoming wedding . Ned , unfortunately , is a ' Jack The Lad ' type who loves to drink , smoke , and make love . Fran dislikes him intensely , and openly says so . After getting involved in a pub fight , Ned is hospitalised . Howev...
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Here Lies Reginald Iolanthe Perrin - Forever Revolting !
The ' 90's saw the B . B . C . revive a number of famous comedy shows , including two made by I . T . V . - ' Agony Again ' and ' Doctor At The Top ' - along with ' The Liver Birds ' and , of course , this . Whereas these featured the original casts , ' Legacy ' was at a disadvantage because Leonard Rossiter passed awa...
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How Dare Todd Mess With Our Memories !
Let's get one thing out of the way ; ' Starsky & Hutch ' is an entertaining movie , boasting two very funny performances by the leads , and if you're unfamiliar with the original television show it should provide some fun . But what about the show's fans ? Those forty-somethings who as kids bought the merchandise - the...
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The Goodies Shoot Themselves In The Foot
Bill and Tim are watching their favourite programme ' The Mysterious World Of Arthur C . Clarke ' . As the end credits roll , the continuity announcer states it won't be back next week because its just been discovered that Clarke does not in fact exist ! Of course its Graeme , heavily disguised as the venerable British...
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' Are You Being Served ' In Outer Space ?
I read an article in ' Dreamwatch ' magazine a good few years back which included the lines ; " Science fiction and comedy are difficult to mix . For every ' Red Dwarf ' , there are about ten ' Come Back Mrs . Noahs ' . At which point I fell on the floor laughing . " Come Back Mrs . Noah ' wasn't intended to be science...
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I wish to resign !
Hedges wishes to take a year off from teaching to read Sociology at London University . The trouble is , he cannot bring himself to hand in his notice . Even the threat of Penny withdrawing her conjugal rights is not enough to give him courage . When he calls on the Chairman of the Board of Governors , he finds him ent...
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Everybody Out - Again !
Following the end of ' On The Buses ' in 1973 , Ronald Wolfe and Ronald Chesney searched for another hit . ' Don't Drink The Water ' , a spin-off from ' Buses ' , failed to duplicate the success of its parent show , while ' Yus My Dear ' , though it got to No . 1 in the ratings for most of its episodes , was fairly dir...
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What have you got ? A bingo line !
After a run of four excellent episodes , it was back down to Earth with a bump with this one , which barely has a single funny moment in it . It begins in Bingham's ward , where Duncan is showing around some students . He tries to examine elderly patient Mr . Hutton , but then Bingham appears , with more students in to...
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Come on England !
Duncan , Dick and Andy are looking forward to a Saturday afternoon in front of the telly , watching a football game between England and Wales . So keen is he to see the English hammered the Scottish Andy is kitted out in Welsh national costume . But Duncan is unexpectedly recalled to duty . To spoil his friends ' fun ,...
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Potter Under Suspicion
Sharon is molested while walking home across the common one evening . Using her as bait , Hedges and the male 5C pupils lay in wait . The man they apprehend is Potter . The caretaker refuses to disclose his reasons for being there , and threatens to press charges on the police for false arrest . Potter suddenly finds e...
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The End Of The Road For T . R . Sloane
Investigating the theft of top secret scientific material , Sloane arranges a meeting with an employee of Dr . Karla Meredith . But his attention is momentarily distracted by an intruder . He returns to find her dead , having literally aged years in only a few seconds . Meredith is head of a scientific institute workin...
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Why am I doing this at my age ?
Billy has really done it this time . Not only has he made multiple dates with girls on the same night , but an urn containing the ashes of a valued client has mysteriously disappeared from Shadrach & Duxbury's funeral parlour . The undertaker subjects Billy to relentless questioning . Back home , the Fishers are strugg...
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Getting To Know You !
Earlier this year , I . T . V . revived that old chestnut ' Mr & Mrs ' . As it went out directly opposite ' Dr . Who ' on B . B . C . - 1 , I did not get to see it , but I doubt if it was as saccharin as the original . It was a quiz show for married couples . A husband and wife , let's call them Christine and Bill , wo...
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Impressionists Galore !
L . W . T . ' s ' Who Do You Do ? ' was a quick fire sketch show starring top impressionists of the day , such as Freddie Starr , Janet Brown , Faith Brown , and Russ Abbot . The one who made the biggest impact on me though was Peter Goodwright ; I once saw him do a ' Dad's Army ' routine in which he did the voices of ...
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Wedding Bells For Blakey ?
An outbreak of astrology at the Butler household convinces Olive and Mum that they each are going to be the next Mrs . Cyril Blake . For the inspector , it is the start of a living nightmare as the two women fight it out for the right to cook , clean and generally smother him with kindness . . . Jack has a new driver i...
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A House Divided
Stan's mother wins an all-expenses paid holiday for two to the Costa Brava . But who will she take with her ? Stan , Olive and Arthur each lay claim to the coveted prize - and try to curry the old lady's favour by bringing her breakfast in bed , peeling potatoes and performing various domestic chores . In so doing , th...
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Who Needs ' Travis Bickle ' When You Have ' Joe North ' ?
I have heard it said that this film took more money at the U . K . box office than ' Taxi Driver ' starring Robert De Niro ! Easy to see why . Scorsese's film lacked the magic ingredient - Barry Evans ' old boy . Poor Barry . Having starred in the T . V . series ' Doctor In The House ' and ' Doctor At Large ' , he was ...
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No , we are not on drugs , we are on Social Security .
' Love Thy Neighbour ' was a long-running 70's sitcom which made fun of a bigot . Ironically , it is today regarded as racist , with the same old clips trotted out in tiresome fashion on banal retro programmes to illustrate just how politically incorrect those times were . But , for a moment , imagine if the B . B . C ...
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The Quiz Of The Week !
Benny Hill did a wonderful take-off of this show , called ' Sale Of The Half-Century ' , with himself as smarmy host ' Nicholas Parcels ' . It was unusually unkind for a Hill sketch , especially seeing how Nick had been his ' feed ' for years in the Fred Scuttle sketches . But what of the original ? It was made by Angl...
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Sid's Half-Hour !
Sidney Balmoral James is one of life's losers . Every penny he gets he gambles , but never seems to win anything back . Ditto his Antipodean friend , pool hustler Bill . Sid's fiancée , club owner Liz , seems to be single-handedly supporting him . Then he comes up with what he thinks is a sure fire way to make easy mon...
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Tunnel To Nowhere
A man is knifed to death in a London sewer . Then during a power blackout , Georgina witnesses a smash-and-grab raid on a jeweller's , a crime for which she is arrested . Beneath London's streets , criminals gather to listen as The Face outlines his plan for ' The Crime Of The Century ' - he intends staging a massive p...
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Archery On Television
A few years back , Sky's ' Challenge T . V . ' repeated editions of ' The Golden Shot ' as part of a season of archive game shows ( how about another season , Challenge ? Hint . hint . ) . I watched in fascination ( as you do ) when confronted by a show one had not seen in literally years . ' Shot ' was a fixture on Su...
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' On The Buses ' Loses Its Way
A tearful Olive emerges from the divorce courts , her marriage to Arthur Rudge finally over . Mum tells Stan to look after her while she goes off to stay with Aunt Maud . But he has arranged to take the curvaceous Sandra to the pictures . Olive goes with them - and makes a nuisance of herself , munching sweets , compla...
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Eric And Ern's Nemesis Entertains
As any Morecambe and Wise fan will tell you , Des O'Connor was for years the butt of their gags . Like a true pro , he accepted his ribbings with good grace ( even appearing with them on one of their legendary Christmas shows ) . But with top-rated variety shows such as this , he could afford to be gracious . ' Enterta...
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Hell's Bells !
Great idea - a ' celebration ' of the all-time worst British television . Thing is , it has been done before , and better - by B . B . C . - 2's ' T . V . Hell ' ( 1992 ) which at least showed whole programmes rather than piddling clips . Here we've got Z-list celebrities being insufferably pompous about archive telly ...
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The Butler Of Billingsgate !
Made by A . T . V . , ' A Rather Reassuring Programme ' was a satirical comedy show from 1977 , hosted and produced by the late Ned Sherrin . One sketch was set in I . T . V . ' s comedy department , and featured John Junkin as a writer and Henry McGee as a hard-to-please producer . Ideas for various series were bandie...
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Very well , thank you !
Lovable , bumbling Harry Worth is barely remembered now , yet in the ' 60's and ' 70's he was one of British television's brightest comedy stars . With his trademark trilby and spectacles , he was a walking disaster area . This Yorkshire T . V . sitcom cast him as Harry Matthews , a middle-aged widower struggling to ra...
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I look in my hole at least once a day !
St . Swithins is in a bad state - the corridors and wards have not been painted in years , the internal telephones do not work properly , dustbins overflow with rubbish , even the lettering on the sign outside is incomplete . Duncan , Dick and Paul angrily confront Adrian Quint , the hospital's new ' manager ' , in rea...
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Birthday Boy !
As preparations for Loftus ' birthday dinner gather momentum , Dick is saddled with an unexpected problem - Rebecca wants a new computer for the hospital . He refuses , regarding them as an expensive luxury . Dr . Snell proposes that the staff should each contribute £100 to a fund to buy a present for Loftus , an idea ...
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Dear Noel , I want to swap my Action Man for Maggie Philbin !
Contrary to popular myth , ' Multi-Coloured Swap Shop ' was NOT the first Saturday morning children's show . That honour went to ' Zokko ' in 1968 , a full eight years before Noel and co . got going . " We're slick , we're glossy , and proud of it . We're out to entertain the whole family ! " , gushed Noel Edmonds in a...
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Harry In Search Of Kip
Sometimes the past is best left undisturbed . This picture was a favourite of mine and used to play often on 70's television , usually in a late-night slot . I had thought of it as a tense , gritty movie full of exciting action and superb performances . Then it mysteriously disappeared from our screens , so when the op...
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Big Breadwinner Hogg
' Hogg's Back ' was an I . T . V . children's comedy series which starred the late Derek Royle ( best remembered these days for playing ' Mr . Leeman ' in ' The Kipper & The Corpse ' episode of Fawlty Towers ' ) as Dr . Hogg , an incompetent country quack brought out of retirement to administer the needs of a quiet cou...
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Let's Play Doctors And Nurses !
Ah , ' 70's daytime television ! Let me see now . ' Rainbow ' for the kids ( along with ' Hickory House ' , ' Pipkins ' , ' Mr . Trimble ' , and ' Sing To The Animals ' ) . ' News Report ' with Robert Kee . ' Crown Court ' for the adults , ' Lunch Time With Wogan ' ( every one of which has been wiped apparently ) , ' Q...
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A Grumpy Old Man ( Aged 43 ) Writes
I have mixed feelings about this . Part of me is glad to see the modern world getting a well-deserved kicking , even if it is from well-paid and over-exposed showbiz figures . Some of the views expressed ( particularly John O'Farrell's ) seem eminently sensible . But another part of me says : " This is patronising in t...
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Its time to go Nationwide !
It seems odd to denounce the ' 70's as ' a time best forgotten ' then keep our memories alive by reviewing its television programmes . In the last episode of ' Life On Mars ' , Sam Tyler ( John Simm ) killed himself by jumping off a roof because he wanted to return there . I have a far easier option - I watch D . V . D...
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Ahead Of Its Time ?
Made by B . B . C . Scotland , ' Sin On Saturday ' was the creation of Shaun Hardie , one of the ' Not The Nine O'Clock News ' producers . It must have looked a surefire winner on paper - a late-night Saturday talk-show devoted to each of the seven deadly sins , hosted by the late and respected television journalist Be...
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Caravan Capers
With ' On The Buses ' a proved success , Ronald Wolfe and Ronald Chesney were invited by L . W . T . to come up with ideas for other sitcoms . They eventually produced ' Romany Jones ' . A starring vehicle for ' Dad's Army''s James Beck , it cast him as ' Bert Jones ' , a good-for-nothing living in a ramshackle caravan...
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I hope she gets turps all over her knickers !
Keen to secure a £3 , 000 decorating contact , Eric begins getting friendly with the very pretty Shirley Matthews . Sharon assumes he is two-timing her . Maureen tries to bust up the pair by masquerading as one of Eric's ' girlfriends ' . Outraged , Shirley storms out of the pub . Once she realises the truth , Maureen ...
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Back To Basics ?
Produced by H . T . V . West , ' Men Of Affairs ' was a spin-off from the 1973 movie ' Don't Just Lie There , Say Something ' , adapted in turn from a hit stage farce . Rix reprised his role , but as Leslie Phillips was making ' Casanova 73 ' for the B . B . C . , Warren Mitchell ( in monocle and toupee ) replaced him ...
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Shifting Sands
In the wake of ' The Spy Who Loved Me ' , a number of television pilots unsuccessfully tried to revive the moribund spy genre , of which this was one . Written by Jimmy Sangster ( co-writer of the 1966 Bulldog Drummond caper ' Deadlier Than The Male ' and the ' Touchfeather ' novels ) , it starred Dale Robinette as Rob...
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We Can Deluge You With A Thousand Channels
In the mid-'90's , B . B . C . - 2 screened ' The Outer Limits ' in the slot vacated by the ratings-busting first season of ' The X-Files ' . They gave it a ' Radio Times ' cover and loads of publicity , but unfortunately shot themselves in the foot by opening with the execrable ' Blood Brothers ' instead of the excell...
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Beware The Big Red Book !
Each Wednesday evening , at 7 . 00 P . M . , Mrs . Elsie Haddock , aged 72 , of Runcorn , Cheshire , would be wearing her best dress and jewellery . She wanted to look presentable in case a certain Irishman came calling , a gleam in his eye and a big red book under his arm . " You thought you were going to watch ' This...
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Not Many Saw ' The Invisible Man '
The success of ' The Six Million Dollar Man ' prompted this show , loosely based on the H . G . Wells novel . David McCallum played ' Dr . Daniel Westin ' , a scientist who turns permanently invisible when an experiment goes awry . He then becomes a secret agent known as ' The Klae Resource ' . For McCallum , this was ...
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Tarby Takes All
It used to be the case that whenever a comedian's career started to flag , he did either of two things : a ) retired to France or b ) fronted a game show . Nowadays they are regarded as a step up for comics . Not every funnyman is cut out to be a game show host , of course ; for every Bob Monkhouse or Tom O'Connor , th...
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Kalthon Lives !
Koenig and Alan are exploring a jewel-like asteroid which has wandered into Alpha's vicinity . In a cavern that looks like a hall of mirrors , Koenig is duplicated by an unknown alien force . The duplicate overpowers the real Koenig , steals his jacket and commlock , and returns to Alpha in his place . He orders an ene...
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We Is Revoltin ' !
The Goodies look into their family histories ; Graeme's ancestor , Celtic Kilty , was from a remote part of Scotland where the inhabitants enjoyed hunting the haggis and bathing in porridge ; Bill's ancestor , Kinda Kinky , came from Cornwall and was a member of the ' oo ah , oo ah ' tribe who wore smocks and drank cid...
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Metal Billy !
The Goodies are losing money , so they downsize by cutting a third of their work force - in other words , they fire Bill . To replace the bearded bird watcher , Graeme builds a robot - a walking dustbin with Nookie Bear-eyes that behaves like a baby . They hire ( where did they suddenly get the money from ? ) a Swedish...
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Lights ! Cameras ! Assassination !
Over-the-hill Hollywood movie star Jeff Wheeler is sacked from the set of his newest movie . Then wife Lisa announces that she intends leaving him . Depressed , he contemplates suicide , but cannot go through with it . He asks Dirk Brogan , his agent , to kill him , without telling him where or how the murder will take...
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Nice Format , Shame About Some Of The Guests
When Stephen Fry went on ' Room 101 ' , he lambasted the format and proposed a variant whereby guests named their favourite things . Its easy to see why it wasn't made . Negativity gets big audiences , positivity doesn't . ' Room 101 ' is unmissable only when the guest is brilliantly funny ( the episodes with Spike Mil...
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5C Brushes With Dearth !
5C is entrusted with helping local pensioners and looking after kids - tasks which , surprisingly , they excel at . The only person unhappy with the idea is Potter , who has been told by 5C that ' geriatrics ' is the name of a person ( Jerry Atrix ) coming to Fenn Street School to take his job . In disgust , he tears o...
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When Lennie & Dianne Met Charlie
Lennie Peters and Dianne Lee ( or ' Peters & Lee ' as they were collectively known ) were a popular singing duo who came to prominence on Hughie Green's ' Opportunity Knocks ' in 1973 . Lennie ( who by the way was blind ) and the beautiful Dianne notched up several middle-of-the-road hits such as ' Welcome Home ' , ' D...
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Special Schoolkids Issue !
Suspecting shopkeeper Mr . Dutton of selling cigarettes to the Fenn Street pupils , Mr . Cromwell declares the shop out of bounds . This not only riles the kids , but also Smithy , who buys his aniseed balls there regularly . To get revenge , 4C launches a new version of the school magazine - ' The Fenntasy ' . Filled ...
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Mr . Humphries-By-The-Sea
Sleazy and unfunny ! " Excruciating ! " " Filth ! " . These were a few of the comments made about ' Odd Man Out ' , an obscure Thames sitcom from 1977 . Bearing in mind that it was written by one half of the team behind ' Love Thy Neighbour ' , starred one of the cast of ' Are You Being Served ? ' , and produced by t...
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The Last Gasp Of A Dying Format
With the boom in home video recorders in the ' 80's came a number of ' video review ' programmes , of which this was the last . Earlier examples of the genre include ' The Video Age ' with Patrick Stoddart , ' Re-Vid ' with Gary Crowley and Jon-Stephen Fink , and ' Video Video ' starring Adam Faith . ' Video View ' wen...
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Lost In The Dark Dimension !
Chased by Sandmen , Logan - with Rem's help - penetrates a force-field surrounding a bunker-like structure set into a hill . Logan deactivates the minefield beyond , making it safe for them to enter . They find an underground complex , in which lives the beautiful Lisa , with two comical-looking robots - Friend and Nan...
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Penny For Your Thoughts
The Solarcraft has broken down , so while Rem fixes it Logan and Jessica go off in search of water . They find it , along with lush tropical vegetation , untalkative parrots . . . and Penny Robinson from ' Lost In Space ' . " Welcome to Sanctuary . " , she trills , in the manner of a Californian air hostess , " I'm Kar...
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Jessica Does The Splits !
Logan , Jessica and Rem are attacked by primitive people known as Castouts , but rescued by another group of people known as Positives , who take the travellers to a community protected by a force field . The Positives have developed a method of splitting people into positive ( good ) and negative ( evil ) duplicates ....
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Washing The World Clean
Worthington Prendergast has created the blueprint for a new city , to be constructed using slave labour . But first he has to destroy the U . S . A . KARTEL supplies him with a laser projector whose ray can greatly increase mass . Prendergast plans to sink a ship carrying nuclear waste off California , thus contaminati...
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Dash ! Dash ! Dash !
Social climber Jennifer Corner has invited her new neighbours , the Wyatt-Pearsons , round for a friendly drink . Mr . Wyatt-Pearson is a city stockbroker , and Jennifer automatically associates the profession with good breeding . In the lounge she swiftly replaces Henry's portrait of a nude with one of a bowl of fruit...
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Then you won't mind paying for it !
Sharon is working at the ' Dolls House ' boutique , managed by the camp Mr . Winters . Visiting her there , Duffy ( wearing decorator's overalls ) manages to get paint on an expensive dress . To get her own back , Sharon agrees to go on a date with a good-looking rep , Tony Lawson . As Duffy and his mate Batch have var...
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When Hammer Rose From The Grave
The last official ' Hammer horror ' film - ' To The Devil A Daughter - was released in 1975 . That seemed to be it . Five years later , this I . T . V . series appeared . Despite the title it was actually made by I . T . C . Entertainment ( ' Lew Grade's House Of Horror ' didn't have the same ring , I suppose ) . The t...
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To the Dennis , the spoils !
Penny Hedges takes an embarrassed Bernard to a boutique to get him a new pair of underpants , and here he is reunited with Sharon ( who works there ) , Maureen and Dennis , the latter after a new shirt . Bernard wants to study Sociology at London University . But thanks to a malicious student - whose game of tennis he ...
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I've got Sleeping Sickness !
Maureen is down in the dumps after failing to pass the ' O ' Levels required to become a full-time Nurse . To cheer her up , Eric and Peter takes her to a Young Conservatives do ( ! ) . Sharon , Dennis and Frankie go to the pictures instead . Amidst the sandwiches and sherry , Maureen gets friendly with Edgar , a good-...
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You're drunk ! You're disgusting !
Craven , now a G . P . O . courier , fears the sack after wrecking his motorbike . Reporting it stolen , he along with Duffy and Frankie , push it off a bridge . But a woman sees them and calls the police . Frogmen search the river for a body . Meanwhile , Dennis has been invited to a trendy party by Maureen . Feeling ...
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I've Gotta Horse
As a birthday surprise for Dennis , the Gang decide to buy furniture for his flat . They attend an auction , which Frankie disrupts by making unrealistic bids . Dennis has a surprise of his own - he buys a horse , which he calls ' Spitfire ' . With nowhere to keep the animal , he puts it in the stable where he works , ...
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Loving With Leslie !
Capitalising on the notoriety of the B . B . C . - 2 series ' Casanova ' ( written by Dennis Potter , and starring Frank Finlay ) , ' Casanova 73 ' cast Leslie Phillips as ' Henry Newhouse ' , a suave lounge lizard , not far removed from the character he played in the ' Doctor ' films . The level of humour was epitomis...
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Build Your Own Stegosaurus !
Billy's latest craze is making model dinosaurs . When Mr . Fisher finds him putting the finishing touches to a plastic stegosaurus , he reminds him he is late for work at the funeral parlour , so off he goes , taking the model with him . He spends the day playing with the creature , but leaves it in Mr . Shadrach's off...
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Does Anyone Out There Still Own A ' Crackerjack ! ' Pencil ?
On Channel 4's ' The 100 Greatest Kids T . V . Shows ' , some twerp I've never heard of said he " couldn't understand how ' Crackerjack ! ' ever got a commission , seeing how it was a poor quality version of ' Seaside Special ' " . I couldn't understand how he had seen these shows as he looked too young to remember eit...
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Olive Turns Into Big Brother !
With Arthur gone , money is tight in the Butler household . Stan pleads with Blakey to take Olive on as a clippie , but the Inspector is not at all keen on the idea . In desperation , Stan tells the hard luck story to end them all , and Blakey relents , provided that Olive work on Stan's bus . To everyone's amazement ,...
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Somewhere In An Airport
Sheila has been nagging Peter to ask his boss , Mr . Fitch ( Richard Wilson ) for a fortnight's holiday . After carefully rehearsing his request , he forcefully strides into the man's office , but gets sidetracked into helping him with his ' image ' - Fitch having a thing about wishing to look authoritative to the staf...
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Noughts And Crosses On Television
What is the day every comedian dreads ? , asked Ronnie Corbett in one of his famous ' chair ' routines in ' The Two Ronnies ' . " Its the day he gets his call-up papers to appear on ' Celebrity Squares ! " . Like the other I . M . D . B . reviewer , I watched ' Celebrity Squares ' mainly because of Bob Monkhouse . Th...
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Too Much Filler
' The Fast Show ' is ' Harry Enfield's Television Programme ' without Harry Enfield . No offence to Paul Whitehouse and co . , but they are hardly in Enfield's league when it comes to comic characters . So whilst funny at times ( the lovely ' Ralph and Ted ' sketches , the ' Ground Force ' send-up , the spoof of 70's B...
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Double Jeopardy For Adam
A discredited academic named Farnley is hired to impersonate Adam Adamant in order to destroy his reputation by assassinating a visiting African President . Bored with 1966 , the real Adam tries to recapture something of his past by joining the 100 Club , a secret society for those obsessed with the Victorian Era . Lit...
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I've got a glass eye in a very funny place !
Series 3 of ' Please Sir ' concluded with Bernard ' Privet ' Hedges marrying the lovely Penny , and 5C graduating ( strangely we never saw them sitting exams , much less getting qualifications ) . Episode 1 of ' The Fenn Street Gang ' begins with a lengthy scene in a bowling alley which was clearly written to bring vie...
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Doctors Reunited
Eleven years after ' Doctor Down Under ' , Duncan Waring and Dick Stuart-Clark were back on British soil , and reunited with their old pal Paul Collier and Professor Loftus for this short-lived B . B . C . series . Actor / writer George Layton thought there would be tremendous public interest in seeing the St . Swithin...
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Flame On !
When I heard Chris Evans had been cast as ' The Human Torch ' in a movie of ' The Fantastic Four ' , I fell off my chair . Fortunately , it turned out not to be the annoying ex-Radio One D . J . , but an American actor of that name . Following the successful ' Spider-Man ' and ' X-Men ' movies , it seemed inevitable Ho...
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I'll be blowed !
British scientists have developed a new means of aircraft propulsion - a nuclear unit protected by a lightweight metal known as ' Spurium ' . A gang of villains , headed by Angel and Cherub , want to steal a sample to sell to the Russians . But Charles Vine is not about to let them . . . The second entry in the Charles...
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The end is nigh . . .
The Luxton bus company insists its drivers and conductors must undergo strictly supervised medicals . Blakey's amusement turns to horror when Mr . Stilton points out he must have one too . Stan and Jack eavesdrop on the examination room , and mishear Blakey talking about his impending departure from the company - they ...
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I'll think of you every time I watch a horror film !
Stan lands himself a job in a car factory in the North of England , which means he must give in his notice as driver for the Luxton bus company . When Blakey refuses to listen , he deliberately antagonises the inspector in order to get the sack ! That night , Jack and the other drivers throw a farewell party for Stan ....
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The Heat Generation !
With Stan and Arthur gone , and Blakey in residence , you'd think that life in the Butler household would be all peace and tranquility . Er , no . There's no hot water on tap , as Blakey discovers when he tries to shave . Jack offers him a good deal on an emersion heater , but it turns out to have been stolen from the ...
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Not On Your Todd !
Appalled by the worsening standard of the food in the canteen , Blakey suggests Mrs . Butler apply for the job as cook . The new area manager , Mr . Simpson , is an old friend of hers , and Mum gets the job without any difficulty whatever . Soon talk is rife in the depot of impending marriage . With an ally at the top ...
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This is worse than trying to shoe a horse !
Its nearly time for the annual Busman's Ball . This year , instead of a conjurer , the lads want a stripper , and have one in mind , the delectable Sandra . Blakey rejects the idea , but relents when Jack informs him that unless Sandra gets to strut her stuff , the busmen will boycott the ball . Arthur announces he wil...
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Stan's Cashflow Problem !
Flat broke again , Stan borrows from ' Basher ' , who works at the depot . Basher wants his money back within a few days else he will show Stan how he earned the nickname . Stan wonders how to repay him . Salvation comes in the shape of Iris , whose mother is moving house . Stan and Jack agree to convey her furniture i...
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Sid gets an airing !
Mike and Sally decide to go into business by buying and selling old junk . Sid tolerates it at first , but when he looks out of the window one morning and sees an old gypsy caravan parked on his lawn he snaps . The children respond by leaving home . Well , not quite . Mike moves into the garage , Sally takes up residen...
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Fun in Acapulco With Dino
I . C . E . are brought in to supervise security on the launching of an experimental spacecraft , which resembles a flying saucer . The pilot is glamorous Sheila Sommers . No sooner is the craft in flight than an anti-gravity beam pulls it back to Earth . The thief is one Jose Ortega , owner of a beer factory in Acapul...
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The Basil Fawlty Of St . Swithins !
Duncan is undergoing a mid-life crisis which takes the form of bursts of uncontrollable rage . Everything seems to upset him , from coffee machines that do not work to hermetically sealed sandwiches . He even loses his temper with one of his patients , a young boy . Concerned for his well being , Dick suggests he sees ...
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' The Great Great Britain Crime '
' Homicide & Old Lace ' is regarded by ' Avengers ' buffs as the show's worst ever episode . I disagree . Season Five's ' The Joker ' ( a lame remake of the vastly superior ' Don't Look Behind You ' ) beats it hands down for sheer awfulness . Even so , it is a bit if a dog's breakfast . When John Bryce was fired as pro...
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A Shotgun Wedding
When Morecambe and Wise left the B . B . C . in 1978 to go to Thames , the B . B . C . looked around for a brand new double-act to replace them . Producer Ernest Maxin took two comedians who had enjoyed limited television exposure , Lennie Bennett and Jerry Stevens , and gave them their own show . Bennett , curly-heade...
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Gloria's T . V . Love-In !
Funny how some television themes stick in your head years after the shows they came from ended . Even now , I can recall that this one went something like : " We love T . V ! / no doubt about it / can't live without it / we love T . V . ! ' etc . Hosted by Gloria Hunniford , ' We Love T . V . ' was a quiz show devoted ...
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I do not write thrillers . I deal in reality !
Howard tries his hand at writing a novel . But his efforts - in which the main character is called ' Mark Tempest ' - are derided by Trevor and laughed at by Mary ( who thought it was intended to be funny ) . Mary finds a poem by Byron copied from a book , and thinks Howard himself wrote it . The bounder heads over to ...
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More Of A Walk Than A Run
There's an amusing scene in ' Free Enterprise ' when a sci-fi fan turns thirty and dreams he is in ' Logan's Run ' . The movie came out a year before ' Star Wars ' and was one of the last films of its kind for some time - the dysfunctional futuristic thriller . Based on a novel by William F . Nolan and George Clayton J...
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You've got the wrong chap , old chap !
Rita gives Alf a jacket she bought in a charity shop . He is offended at the thought of being given someone's cast-offs , but changes his tune when he sees medals sewn on to the breast pocket . An idea occurs to him . The next Saturday , Alf wears the jacket to the West Ham football stadium , with Marigold pushing him ...
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Hancock The Gag-Man
Written by Terry Nation , ' The Writer ' was the penultimate episode of ' Hancock ' - The Lad From East Cheam's ill-advised attempt to do ' Hancock's Half Hour ' on I . T . V . but without the services of Ray Galton and Alan Simpson . By this juncture , the comedian was well aware that the show was in no danger of bein...
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Enchanting April
Such was the popularity of ' The Man From U . N . C . L . E . ' in 1965 that a spin-off was planned . An episode of the second series - ' The Moonglow Affair ' - saw Solo and Kuryakin temporarily written out , and their places taken by agents ' April Dancer ' and ' Mark Slate ' , played by Mary Ann Mobley and Norman Fe...
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You're beautiful , man !
In the early ' 80's , Roger Corman gave a talk at the British Film Institute , where he was interviewed by ' Guardian ' critic Derek Malcolm . He then fielded questions from the audience . One of these concerned his 1967 film ' The Trip ' . Although the then-unknown Jack Nicholson was credited as writer , Corman pointe...
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Duffy Versus The Doctors
Its Rag Week at The Duke Of York Hospital , where Maureen works as a nurse . She is chosen as their official Rag Queen , but a gang of loutish students kidnap her before she can be crowned . Duffy , Frankie and Craven rescue Maureen . However , Duffy's van is stolen by the students . Eric is furious with Frankie as he'...