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401,249
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10
Are you going to Tossa ?
The one-off comedy special by Ray Galton and Alan Simpson that inspired the series ' Dawsons Weekly ' . Les wants to see the world . Turning up at a travel agents , he creates trouble by insisting he bring his bike indoors . The agent ( Frank Thornton ) is so keen to get rid of him he offers a list of package holidays ...
401,016
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591,025
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And don't the kids just love him !
The Goodies run a safari park with a difference - no animals . Coach-loads of tourists pay to see figures from the world of showbiz and light entertainment , such as Danny LaRue , Brian Rix , Steptoe & Son , the ' Gumbies ' from ' Monty Python's Flying Circus ' and so on . On losing their star attraction - Tony Blackbu...
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747,130
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She thought her backside was a perfume factory !
Five years after ' The Likely Lads ' ended , Bob and Terry were reunited for this superior sequel . Bob is now engaged to Thelma Chambers , whom he plans marrying in six weeks ' time . One evening , they are looking at slides of the Elm Lodge Housing Estate , when Bob accidentally pops in one featuring a drunken Terry ...
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Terror From The Past !
An unknown object is picked up on Alpha's scanners . It is Voyager One , a space probe of Earth origin launched during the 1970's to explore the universe , conveying a message of peace and goodwill . The probe is equipped with the Queller Drive - a revolutionary form of propulsion using fast neutrons . It proved danger...
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Bedtime For Bill !
Rupert Wincheater of Beechrow Products hires The Goodies to devise a new marketing campaign for an unpopular bedtime drink called ' Venom ' . They start by changing the name to the more soporific-sounding ' Snooze ' . Graeme goes further , creating a new formula which knocks out anyone who takes so much as a sip . Half...
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You Dirty Old Man !
One of the saddest sights I ever saw on television was Wilfrid Brambell , close to tears on ' Nationwide ' in 1982 following the sudden death of his ' Steptoe & Son ' co-star Harry H . Corbett . The pairing of these great actors , combined with some wonderful scripts by Ray Galton and Alan Simpson , made ' Steptoe ' a ...
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Bom !
The Goodies set up a pirate radio station - Radio Goodies - located beneath a rowing boat in the English Channel . They also set up their own Post Office ( an early example of privatisation , surely ? ) in competition with the Royal Mail . But Graeme flips and begins laying plans for a pirate bus service , as well as t...
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When Napoleon Was Dynamite !
Open Channel D ! . I never saw ' U . N . C . L . E . ' during its ' 60's heyday , I regret to say . I came to it in 1972 , when I . T . V . broadcast the movies ( beginning with ' The Karate Killers ' ) at peak-time on Saturday evenings , followed by reruns of ' The Persuaders ! ' . My first glimpse of ' Napoleon Sol...
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10
Affluence means effluence !
London is becoming increasingly polluted , so the Goodies try to do something about it . They go to the Ministry Of Pollution in Eastbourne . Graeme thinks the Ministry might be causing the pollution . He's right . The Minister openly admits to making the air unbreathable so he - and the Government - can grab credit wh...
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God Help The Queen !
Every year , Her Majesty The Queen attends The Royal Command Performance at The Palladium , but never sees it because the acts are so boring she falls asleep . The Goodies are put in charge of the next one . Done in the style of ' The Good Old Days ' T . V . series , The Royals are given the option of dispensing with b...
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Punkerella !
The Goodies have formed a band called ' The Little Laddies ' . Their first attempt at a hit - ' Shiny Shoes ' - flops , partly because it is awful , but also because the group is perceived as old fashioned . Bill wants to go punk . ' The Little Laddies ' split up . Tim dates the attractive music journalist Caroline Koo...
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Walking On The Moon
The Moon is passing through a solar system with a sun very like our own . One planet in particular - Ariel - has Earth-like conditions , so Carter blasts off in his Eagle to investigate . Strange objects launched from Ariel land on the lunar surface . Gas emerges from each , giving the Moon a breathable atmosphere . Wi...
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The Time Lord Who Fell To Earth !
A swarm of fifty meteorites lands in Southern England . Poacher Sam Seeley digs one up . It pulsates and emits an unearthly trilling sound . The meteorites are not the only visitors from space that day . The Tardis lands nearby , and an ill-looking Doctor steps out , before collapsing . Meanwhile , boffin Liz Shaw is w...
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Miaow !
What ' The Ministry Of Silly Walks ' was to ' Monty Python ' , ' Kitten Kong ' is to ' The Goodies ' . It is quite simply the best-loved , best-remembered episode . Whenever I recommend this wonderfully crazy show to first-timers , I urge them to watch this one first because it contains all the things that made it so g...
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What's Up , Chosen One ?
I watched this on Sky Movies a couple of years ago . Having never heard of Steve Oedekerk , I did not really know what to expect . An hour and a half later , I had a pain in my side from laughing too much . Steve has taken a typical kung fu movie from the ' 70's , removed the soundtrack , written and recorded a new one...
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I've heard of carrying the can , but this is ridiculous !
Legendary Scottish comedian Stanley Baxter made five lavish comedy spectaculars for L . W . T . in the ' 70's , of which this was the third . It begins with Baxter's radio announcer - ' Julie Hawn ' - introducing several spoof commercials ( including clever parodies of the Milk Tray and P . G . Tips ' Mr . Shifter ' ad...
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In my experience , politicians don't like being sent up !
Like Morecambe and Wise , Stanley Baxter gave up making weekly shows to concentrate on hour-long ( fifty minutes minus the commercials ) specials , usually screened in the Autumn or just before Christmas . This enabled him to ensure they were of the highest possible standard ; a good deal of thought and hard work went ...
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The Elisabethan Sitcom
' Blackadder 2 ' provoked outrage when first broadcast in the U . K . Those who'd liked the first series were extremely unhappy at the show's reformatting ; Nina Myskow , television critic of ' The News Of The World ' bestowed on Rowan Atkinson her infamous ' wally of the week ' title . Its only with the benefit of hin...
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Why Can't We Cancel Christmas ?
Easily the best of Stanley Baxter's legendary Christmas shows . Many items , such as ' The Last Noel ' , with Stanley as Noel Coward , went on to become much-repeated classics . ' Farewell My Cinders ' is ' Cinderella ' as it might have been written by Raymond Chandler . It contained the memorable line : " People from ...
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Terror & June !
Criminologist June Wiley is in a library researching old murder cases . She is fascinated by the case of a strange man named Matakitas , hanged in 1927 for strangling women - including a librarian . He defended himself at his trial by claiming he had ' The Devil's dispensation ' . When June tries to leave , she finds s...
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Hello ! I'm Joanna Lumley !
Following the end of ' Not The Nine O'Clock News ' in 1982 , the team went their separate ways . Pamela Stephenson pursued a ( short-lived ) movie career , Rowan Atkinson moved into sitcoms with the sublime ' The Black Adder ' , but what of Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones ? ' Alas Smith & Jones ' kept them in the sketch...
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Back To Cafe Rene !
According to Sam Kelly , when ' Hans Geering ' did his Nazi salute , what he said was ' tler ! ' , yet some thought it was ' clop ' or ' clip ' . Good to know things like that . I have to admit I was not the world's biggest ' Allo , Allo ' fan . I liked some of the early episodes , but when it ended after nine years ( ...
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The Neighbours From Hell !
Hank and Anne Prentiss take up residence in the country . The neighbours , especially divorcée Terry Lawrence , and Luther and Helen Ames , appear to be very friendly . Perhaps a little too friendly . Luther seems to openly desire Anne , while Helen is obviously attracted to Hank . At a housewarming party , a drunken T...
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10
If You Go Down To The Woods Today . . .
Modern horror movies are a bad joke . Why do film makers persist on using C . G . I . monsters ? When did you last see a C . G . I . monster , for goodness sake ? Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez's ' The Blair Witch Project ' is the perfect antidote to those ludicrous ' Scream ' type movies in which nubile co-eds get ...
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Beware The Watchers !
William Searle is present at the launching of a new ship , covering the event for television , when the O . B . cameras pick out seemingly at random five individuals in a crowd - a mother and her little girl , a black man smoking a pipe , a young man in hippie-type clothes , and a businessman in a pinstriped suit and b...
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10
A Van Dyke is a painter , not a beard !
I'm giving this delightful picture a rating because I think its high time someone did . It enjoys an unfair reputation as Laurel and Hardy's worst ever movie ( ' Utopia ' deserves that honour ) mainly because it recycles gags from earlier pictures . So what ? They would not be the first comics to do this . Even Chaplin...
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Self-Sufficiency In Surbiton
On his fortieth birthday , Tom Good ( Richard Briers ) , top draughtsman for J . J . M . ( skilled but unambitious - he has never risen above the fourth floor while his friend and colleague Jerry Leadbeatter is on the seventh ) , celebrates at home with wife Barbara ( Felicity Kendal ) . Something is troubling him . Bo...
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We Are The T . P . F . , We Are The People !
The nearest British television got to a ' Fonzie'-type character was ' Wolfie Smith ' who , in his ' Freedom For Tooting ! ' T-shirt , khaki jacket , braces , jeans and green beret , was an ineffectual rebel somehow left over from the ' 60's . He was marvellously played by the charismatic Robert Lindsay , in his first ...
401,187
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10
Was Columbo On A Secret Mission To Smash Capitalism ?
Let me get one thing straight - I worshipped ' Columbo ' back in the ' 70's . Of all the ' Mystery Movie ' characters , he was the one whose exploits I most appreciated . He hailed from an era when television investigators were nearly all rich , handsome , and ridiculously over-sexed , such as George Peppard in ' Banac...
401,289
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Look It Up In Your Cone-tract !
Failed sports commentator and chat-show host Alan is sacked from ' Radio Norwich ' by his new boss , Tony Hayers , and goes berserk in a restaurant , running around with a piece of cheese . As the series develops , he tries to maintain a public profile , even though the doors are closing on him . Steve Coogan's perform...
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10
When Moore Met Curtis
One of the great mysteries of all time is how ' Mission : Impossible ' ( a great show , yes , but well past its prime in 1971 ) managed to wipe the floor with this engaging comedy thriller from the I . T . C . stable . In all other countries it was a big hit and deservedly so . As well as the charming byplay of Mr . Cu...
401,421
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10
When The World Was Wobbly !
For donkey's years , the 5 . 35 weekday slot on B . B . C . - 1 was occupied by a five-minute cartoon that acted as a bridge from children's television to the early evening news . Off the top my head there was ' The Magic Roundabout ' , ' Willo The Wisp ' ( lovely narration by Kenneth Williams ) , ' Captain Pugwash ' ,...
400,822
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As Good As ' Monty Python ' , So Why Isn't It Better Known ?
Marty Feldman made such an impact in Associated-Rediffusion's ' At Last The 1948 Show ' that the B . B . C . poached both him and Tim Brooke-Taylor for this series . And what a series it turned out to be . Marty co-wrote several sketches with his ' Round The Horne ' collaborator Barry Took , others were penned by John ...
401,345
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I . T . V . ' s Best-Ever Sitcom
' Rising Damp ' was recently repeated on I . T . V . - 1 in an afternoon slot , and some chump wrote an angry letter to ' Teletext ' , claiming that the show ' was axed due to its racist content ' . Nobody bothered to correct him . ' Rising Damp ' ran for four successful seasons in the ' 70's , only coming to an end be...
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Here she comes , Zola Budd !
Five years after the disappointing A . T . V . series ' Till Death ' , Alf and Else Garnett returned to the B . B . C . for ' In Sickness & In Health ' . It was Johnny Speight's best work in years , pitting Alf against the uncaring Thatcherite ' 80's . The Garnetts are now living in a cheap ground floor flat in London ...
400,745
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Swine That You Are !
' Rab C . Nesbitt ' was one of the finest B . B . C . sitcoms of the ' 90's . Like the later ' Alan Partridge ' , the character originated in a sketch show - in this case , ' Naked Video ' . Wearing a tattered suit ( with string vest ) , clutching a rolled-up newspaper , and a blood-soaked bandage round his head , the ...
400,817
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Better , Stronger , Faster !
Colonel Steve Austin , severely crippled following a plane crash is ' rebuilt ' with bionic parts ( as Freddie Starr said at the time : " He's got everything bionic , hasn't he ? Well , almost everything ! " ) , turning him into a superman . Austin can now run at incredible speeds , see things over a long distance , an...
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10
Oh Jeffrey . . . The Lady Is For Turning !
If Jeffrey Archer didn't exist , some clever scriptwriter would be sure to invent him . The trouble is , no-one would believe it ! Here was a man whose lies eventually got him jailed , whereupon he reinvented himself as the victim of a terrible miscarriage of justice ! The truth certainly is stranger than fiction . Dam...
401,005
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400,143
10
The Majority Are Not Always Right
One type of programme British television excelled at in the ' 70's was the one-off drama . With the likes of Jack Rosenthal , David Mercer , Colin Welland , Barrie Keefe and Howard Schuman writing these , it was no wonder they were good . ' Against The Crowd ' was an anthology of plays about society's outsiders . Penne...
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10
The Descent Continues . . .
Made as a response to Channel 4's ' T . V . Heaven ' ( transmitted the previous year ) , B . B . C . - 2's ' T . V . Hell ' showcased the worst of British television . I watched my video copy again recently and what struck me was how differently it would probably be made now . For one thing , it served up whole program...
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10
What are we going to do with Uncle Arthur ?
I became politically aware thanks to ' Upstairs , Downstairs ' . Before I was a naive nine year old whose interests included model plane making and marbles , but the first episode turned me into a rabid activist . What brought about this transformation ? The show was the brainchild of actresses Jean Marsh and Eileen At...
401,270
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The ' Citizen Kane ' Of Zombie Movies !
If proof were ever needed that the 1970's was the golden age of horror movies , ' Dawn Of The Dead ' is it . A decade after his groundbreaking ' Night Of The Living Dead ' , George A . Romero returned to zombies with this , arguably the greatest film of its kind . Low budget horror films were all the rage in those days...
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And In A Packed Programme Tonight . . .
When Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones spoofed ' The Two Ronnies ' in a ' Not The Nine O'Clock News ' sketch entitled ' The Two Ninnies ' , it didn't work because a ) it wasn't funny and b ) it was inaccurate . Ronnie Barker's beautifully crafted song parodies did not use words like ' titty ' and ' bum ' , and never did ....
401,472
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Of all the coppers in London , why pick on me ?
On the B . B . C . ' s ' I Love The ' 70's ' , it was incorrectly stated that ' The Sweeney ' was the first violent British crime television series . Season Three of ' Special Branch ' beat it to the airwaves by two years . The earlier seasons , shot on videotape with film inserts , starred Derren Nesbitt as ' D . C . ...
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Oh , Eric !
In the early ' 70's , the B . B . C . revived several hit sitcoms from the previous decade , including ' Steptoe & Son ' , ' The Likely Lads ' , ' Till Death Us Do Part ' , ' Whacko ! ' , and of course , ' Sykes ' . I . T . V . had been enjoying success with the likes of ' On The Buses ' , the ' Doctor ' series , and '...
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How To Hijack A Building !
Computer expert Sumner ( Geoffrey Bayldon ) suffers a nervous breakdown , and , taking a cleaning woman hostage , threatens to blow up a London office block unless his demands are met . He wants political activist Sheila Fenner ( Jumoke Debayo ) , currently on trial at the Old Bailey , freed and permitted to leave the ...
401,527
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71,068
10
Hello , darling , its me , Edgar !
Comic secret agents have made a comeback in recent years , with Mike Myers ' ' Austin Powers ' and Rowan Atkinson's ' Johnny English ' , and more recently Steve Carell in the big-screen version of the hit ' 60's show ' Get Smart ! ' . Back in 1974 , it was David Jason who was wearing a shoulder holster and carrying an ...
400,995
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10
Hedges ' First Day !
It is the first day of a new term at Fenn Street School . Bernard Hedges , a newly qualified teacher , finds himself sitting on the bus next to a young man who requests a light for his cigarette . Hedges obliges , not realising the youngster ( Eric Duffy ) is a pupil at the school . Mistakenly getting off at the depot ...
400,960
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Grand Slam is Epic !
Rather like the ' Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads ? ' episode ' No Hiding Place ' , the B . B . C . Wales comedy film ' Grand Slam ' is revived whenever there's a major sporting event , only here its rugby . You would think it would be easy to tire of , but no , each viewing is an absolute joy . It traces the expl...
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Journey To Michael's Mad World !
Bowler hatted men march over Westminster Bridge . Lining up firing squad fashion , they aim their umbrellas at the Union flag and shoot . It could be the opening to an ' Avengers ' caper , instead it was the prelude to one of the zaniest comedies the B . B . C . has ever made - ' Its A Square World ' . I have only seen...
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Give Us A Song , Monique !
The fact that ' Secret Army ' was spoofed by a long-running sitcom ( ' Allo , Allo ' ) does not imply it was a bad series . Far from it . It would be like saying ' Brideshead Revisited ' was awful simply because it was ( partially ) spoofed by the I . T . V . comedy ' Brass ' . ' Secret ' was a superlative drama set in...
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Here He Is , The Lad Himself , Benny Hill !
Mention ' Benny Hill ' to most people and the first thing they'll think off is the great man himself , a lecherous grin on his face , fleeing from scantily-clad girls to the strains of ' Yakety Sax ' . Yet his Thames show , which spanned an incredible twenty years , was about far more than mere sexism . Nobody did spoo...
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The ' War & Peace ' Of Television
When the American mini-series ' Roots ' debuted on B . B . C . - 1 in 1978 , I was pretty cynical . Here we go again , I thought , yet another overblown soap opera , ' Rich Man , Poor Man ' Mark Two . I do not know what compelled me to tune in for the first instalment , but am so glad I did , else I would have then mis...
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Jack's Country
I was staggered to see ' Out Of Town ' included in ' The 100 Greatest Moments From T . V . Hell ' , broadcast on Channel 4 in 2000 . Which numbskulls chose it , I wonder ? Probably the sort who unreservedly condemn ' Curry & Chips ' without ever having seen it . Made by the now sadly defunct ' Southern T . V . ' ( also...
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Boffo Laughs From Mike And Terry !
Hot on the heels of John Cleese's first post-'Python ' project ' Fawlty Towers ' came this splendid spoof of stiff-upper-lipped schoolboy adventure tales from the days when Britain had an empire . Michael Palin and Terry Jones obviously had fun writing this , as well as performing ( although Jones only appeared in one ...
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Gulley's Travels
Ronald Neame is , like Lewis Gilbert , a British film maker who it seems to me has never had the credit due to him , despite producing an impressive body of work , with films such as ' The Prime Of Miss Jean Brodie ' , ' The Card ' , and ' Tunes Of Glory ' to his name . ' The Horse's Mouth ' , made in 1958 , was a favo...
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Its Alright !
After six excellent seasons , ' One Foot In The Grave ' finally came to an end . David Renwick could have kept it running , but decided to quit while he was ahead . Paul Merton and Hannah Gordon both guested on the final show . It opens with Margaret , now a widow , complaining that a portrait of her late husband Victo...
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If I see your cat again , I'll have his tail for a lavatory brush !
Let me get one thing straight - this is not the B . B . C . ' s ' Born & Bred ' from a few years back , but a Thames comedy series written by Douglas Livingstone . It ran from 1978-80 and centred on the exploits of two London families - the poor Tonsleys , among them grumpy ex-music hall artiste Tommy ( the priceless M...
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Espionage In Greece
Of the thirty episodes of ' Suitcase ' , I would say that this is probably my favourite . Though primarily a detective show , occasionally spy stories featured , of which this is one . Dalby ( Vincent Ball ) , an oceanographer , walks away from his job just minutes before a board meeting is due to begin , taking with h...
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McGill Digs Up The Past
This was the first episode of ' Man In A Suitcase ' to go out in the U . S . A . In Britain , ' Brainwash ' was chosen as the premiere story . I have no idea why this was the case . Schoolteacher Rachel Thyssen ( Angela Browne ) spots a man in a London street she recognises as her late father Harry . She gives chase , ...
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I'm going to shoot you , McGill !
' Brainwash ' introduced British audiences to McGill , although in the States a different episode entirely - ' Man From The Dead ' - was chosen . McGill travels by train to the countryside , to meet a client named LaPorte who wants to put him on a divorce case . He is met by John ( Colin Blakely ) and they exchange fri...
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Which way did Donald Sutherland go ? Straight to the top !
Like Colin Blakely , Donald Sutherland was one of the few actors to make a return appearance - as another character - in this show , his first was as drunken ' Willard ' in ' Day Of Execution ' , here he plays ' Keith Earle ' , a newly-released convict who's as mad as hell . He has served a five-year sentence for his p...
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We three kings of Orient are . . .
The students ' entertainment committee plan to put on a show , which naturally means strippers . But the Dean takes an interest and advises them to ' keep it clean ' . So the strippers are out . Mike sends for his brother Terry , a theatrical producer camper than a row of tents . The first people to audition are a trio...
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The ( First ) Trial Of A Time Lord
So enamoured was I of Patrick Troughton's interpretation of the Doctor that I very nearly didn't watch the final part of ' The War Games ' . If he died , I did not want to see it . Reason prevailed , though , and I did watch . It opens with the Doctor , Jamie and Zoe fleeing in the TARDIS from the scene of ' The War Ga...
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Dog !
The students attend a lecture by the eccentric Dr . Towers ( Peter Bayliss ) , an expert on hypnosis . When he requests a volunteer , Duncan steps forward . After making a fool of the doctor , he is then hypnotised for real by Mike . Duncan wakes up normal except for one thing - whenever anyone uses the word ' dog ' in...
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Can You Get B . B . C . - 2 On That Thing ?
The second run of ' In The House ' was prefaced by repeats of eight episodes of the first , marking the first time the show was seen in colour . Summer break is over . Upton returns to St . Swithins , sporting the beginnings of a moustache , only to find that his friends have them too . His father has provided him with...
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My baby has gone down the plug hole !
Upton cannot study because his friends are too busy trying to organise a car rally . He finds himself paired with the lovely , frightfully posh ( she talks exactly like The Queen ) Fiona ( Angela Scoular ) . En route Fiona suggests they drop in on her sister Diana ( Bridget Armstrong ) and her husband Mungo ( Jonathan ...
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The Priest Who Never Was
Ruthless African plantation owner Marcus Spencer ( Patrick Allen ) recently gave the local natives overtime , and is now having second thoughts about paying out the extra money he promised them . His wife ( Sheila Brennan ) is an out-and-out racist who thinks they will squander the money on drink . Acting as an unoffic...
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McGill chases a million - Part 2
The second episode opens with an ( edited ) recap of the first's climax . No ' Previously On . . . ' of the sort popular with many of today's shows . After the titles , we see McGill locked in the hold of the ship he has stowed away on . Back in London , a briefing by Michaels of his men effectively brings us up to spe...
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McGill chases a million !
The only two-part ' Suitcase ' adventure opens in Lisbon . Max Stein ( Anton Rodgers ) , paymaster of a network of Russian agents , is confronted by an official who accuses him of having stolen a contingency fund . There is a fight , which Stein wins . We then see him placing the money ( one million dollars ) in a depo...
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A Strip The Viewers Missed !
The doctors - Bingham included - are excited at the prospect of new physiotherapists at St . Swithins . Loftus gives the girls a lecture on what to expect , describing Dick as a ' lanky , straw-haired , tailor's dummy ' . Bingham he ignores completely . Duncan falls for busty 18 year old Emma Livingstone . Thinking of ...
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Pollock ? That Pillock !
Plans are drawn up to merge St . Swithins with Highcross , turning the former into a hotel , while Loftus becomes Professor of Surgery at the new hospital . Duncan and the gang endeavor to put a stop to it . They enlist the staff to make Sir John Pollock and Lord Wagstaff think St . Swithins is the worst hospital in th...
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Eric & Ernie Plunge Into The Thames
A battered old van bearing the legend ' B . B . C . T . V . ' stops alongside the Thames Television studio at Teddington Lock , London . The rear doors open , and two figures in raincoats and flat caps are flung out . As it speeds off , they regain their composure , and are greeted by a camp-sounding producer . " Welco...
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The Nightmare Sunday
The third episode of the first series of ' Fall & Rise ' begins with Reggie at Sunshine Desserts . The model for a new ice cream pagoda has been left on his desk . Unsurprisingly , he hates it . The broken window in his office still needs fixing . A call to the 24 hour maintenance man establishes that he has gone home ...
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There's something fishy going on here !
Loftus ' quest for a knighthood continues . . . After showing a Harley Street consultant named Sir Desmond around the Research Unit , Loftus notices he has left behind his little black bag , so tells Duncan to return it . Duncan's car , with the bag inside , is taken by Paul , wishing to impress his beautiful date . Du...
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She's an old boot !
Noticing that Bingham's mind is not on his work , Duncan asks what is wrong . Lawrence tells him that he has proposed to Mary Parsons and , to his surprise , she accepted ( mainly because no-one else wanted her ) . But that is not the main reason for his melancholia . She is up for a top medical job and fears the marri...
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Reggie's Rebellion Begins
With the ' Reggie Perrin ' series starring Martin Clunes now underway on B . B . C . - 1 , I thought it might be a good time to review the first episode of the classic series starring the late , great Leonard Rossiter . Clunes has been dismissive of the old show in interviews ( why do people these days think the most e...
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Why are lions lions ?
The second episode of ' Fall & Rise ' saw Gareth Gwenlan assuming directorial responsibilities ( taking over from John Howard Davies ) and he remained with the show until its end ( and he helmed the 1996 sequel ' The Legacy Of Reginald Perrin ' ) . There is no difference between this and the previous instalment , they ...
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He called me a village idiot !
Loftus has become even more irascible of late , bellowing insults at staff during operations , and generally making himself even more unpopular than usual . Duncan gets to the heart of the problem - Loftus and his wife are no longer speaking to one another because she refuses to buy an expensive piece of medical equipm...
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What a hospital !
All in a day's work for the staff at St . Swithins ; an annoying little man wants an operation even though there's nothing wrong with him , an Italian family ( all thirty of them ) with no command of English moves into Casualty , a Welshman is in grave need of physiotherapy , and to cap it all , a convicted criminal ha...
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Its not what I expected !
This week , I . T . V . - 1 devotes an edition of its ' Comedy Classics ' series to ' Doctor In The House ' . So now seems the right time to look back at the very first episode . London Weekend Television were on something of a lucky streak in the late ' 60's ( thanks to Head Of Comedy Frank Muir ) , having launched ' ...
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What you don't see you'll never miss !
Ian Hendry shot to fame as the star of the first series of ' The Avengers ' in which he played crime busting ' Dr . David Keel ' , with Patrick Macnee as his sidekick ' John Steed ' . He then left to pursue a career in film , leaving Macnee to assume star status in the show ( which became an international hit ) . Hendr...
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It'll go through him like boiling oil !
Duncan panics when the £497 raised for charity by St . Swithins - and entrusted to him for safekeeping by Loftus - goes missing . Unable to find it , he , along with Dick and Andy , decides to go on a inter-hospital cross-country run , and get the money back by betting heavily on Highcross . The only thing he needs to ...
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Did I Run Over A Cat Just Then ?
Duncan and Kate are planning a weekend trip to Paris , but two unexpected crises crop up ; firstly , Gascoigne gives the wrong treatment to the wrong patients because he cannot read Duncan's handwriting properly , and secondly , Loftus orders Duncan to fetch a kidney from a nearby hospital and bring it to St . Swithins...
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A Traitor In The White House
Senator William Lyons Selby is the favourite to be the next President of the U . S . A . The Chinese Communists know this , and have created a perfect double using a revolutionary ' molecular plasticity ' serum . The night before the election , Selby is quietly assassinated and the double takes his place . As expected ...
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Kiss Me Where It Counts !
Timmy Lea ( Robin Askwith ) swaps his window cleaner's bucket for a microphone in this , the second of the money-spinning romps based on the novels of Christopher Wood . Sid Noggett ( Tony Booth ) signs a pop group called ' Bloater ' ( whom he renames ' Kipper ' ) , with a view to making a fortune as their manager . Th...
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I want my red medicine !
Paul is temporarily working at Dr . Neilson's practice . Upton agrees to cover for him one night so he can go on a date . All goes well until the police ask him to check to see whether a man they have arrested is inebriated . He calls himself Mike Upton . . . A great Graham Chapman / Bernard McKenna episode . James Hay...
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I do like your leg !
Loftus sacks Dick for making one mistake too many . Unable to get him to change his mind , Duncan resigns in protest . Out of work , he and Dick sign up as ship's doctors aboard the passenger liner M . S . Begonia . They look forward to a new life of sun , sea and . . . surgery . And being free of Loftus . But they've ...
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Upton's Fatal Attraction !
Its Saturday afternoon , and Upton is on call at Dr . Whiteland's practice . Dick has gone off with the lovely Tanya , but forgotten to cancel a previous date with photographic model Maxine . An angry Maxine turns up at the practice , demanding to see Dick . She bursts her way into an examination room , only to find Th...
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Twice an hour ? Twice a day !
Upton is called to the home of rich hypochondriac Mr . Medwin . Finding nothing wrong with him , he prescribes a tonic . No sooner has he returned to Dr . Whiteland's surgery than he receives a phone call informing him that Mr . Medwin has died . Medwin's family are a greedy , grasping bunch who cannot wait to get thei...
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Hancock's Masterpiece
Following the success of ' The Rebel ' in 1960 , Tony Hancock and his writers , Ray Galton and Alan Simpson , planned a follow-up . Various ideas were kicked about ( such as having Hancock go on a round-the-world cruise , or him playing a double role ) , scripts were written , but none pleased the star . Eventually , h...
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Stunningly stinky schlock
I've seen more than my fair share of malodorous cinematic stinkers , so claiming that this horrifically horrendous dud is perhaps the smelliest celluloid skunk I've ever had the grave misfortune to stumble across is say a whole lot . Things get off to an unpromising start with a lone man stranded on a remote island wan...
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Big bore is more like it
This so-dumb-it's-numbing Sasquatch cinema stinker holds the dubious honor of being possibly the first-ever American movie made about the legendary Bigfoot . Alas , it's also one of the worst-ever movies ever made about Bigfoot . A small tribe of Sasquatchs - - one giant bad male , three babbling females , and a homely...
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Accursed bilge
Representing the ugly , filthy , unwashed hind end of Sasquatch cinema , this dreadful direct-to-TV hodgepodge profoundly reeks more than the allegedly malodorous mythical monster . A little boy and his yippy dog are attacked by Bigfoot in the opening scene ; this occurrence is never tied in with the rest of the flick ...
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Hideously cloying and sappy claptrap
A dorky animal lover father brings home a murderously cuddlesome female chimp named Tereza from his latest around the world exploits . He adopts the shrill , repulsively overaffectionate little bugger as a pet . Of course , the guy's bratty youngest son adores the foul beast , but the dude's bitchy wife and bullying ol...
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Horrendous
We all know the story : Sweet little old lady ( legendary silent film actress Lillian Gish , who must have had one hell of a hefty phone bill to pay when she decided to appear in this dismal dippy dreck ) loses her dog in a New York City airport . The mangy loyal pooch makes a lengthy , laborious and perilous trek acro...
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Just plain stinks
I have seen many an abominable slasher teenkill body count film in my lifetime , so it's saying a lot that this hideously lame'n'tame loser qualifies as perhaps the worst slice'n'dice stinker I have ever had the grace misfortune to suffer through . A demented Devil-worshiping Los Angeles police officer ( horribly overp...
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Bad " gas " runs out of wit early , emits noxious fumes throughout and stalls with its crummy plot , annoying characters and chaotic narrative
A simply atrocious and excruciatingly unfunny would-be frenzied over-the-top comedy done in a horrendously ham-fisted wannabe Robert Altmanesque multi-storied ensemble cast fashion . It's about the crazed pandemonium which besets a quiet , peaceful small town when the populace gets wind of an artificially created gas s...
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One of the most profoundly putrid pieces of lowbrow teen soft-core bilge to ever disgrace celluloid
This simply dreadful teen comedy sexploitation dud centers on the obnoxious , immature and unamusing antics of six seniors from Hollywood High School : the shrill , shallow and stupid little jerks make out , smoke pot , drink booze and display all the charm of a can of rancid tuna . The limp direction fails to wring a ...
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A most appropriately titled poverty row horror atrocity
Man , oh man , does the title for this horrendous hunk of low-budget gore-drenched horror junk aptly sum up the appalling dearth of quality to be found herein . A huge , toothy , tentacled carnivorous beast forces a dorky , peevish , totally unlikeable and unappealing wimpy teenage boy with dark sunglasses and a terrib...