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400,619 | 7,743,887 | 74,003 | 10 | A Forgotten Classic | Possibly because it was the subject of a hate campaign in the ' 80's by the ' alternative comedy ' brigade , ' Terry & June ' is the better remembered of Terry Scott and June Whitfield's sitcoms . Yet ' Happy Ever After ' , which preceded it , was vastly superior , thanks to Eric Merriman and John Chapman's scripts . The presence of dotty Aunt Lucy and her talking bird in the Fletcher household also added greatly to the show . One episode landed the B . B . C . in hot water ; it featured Terry having a nightmare in which he imagines himself in a health farm run like a World War 2 P . O . W . camp . On the same night , B . B . C . - 1 screened the latest instalment of the American mini-series ' Holocaust ' , viewers complained that the sitcom was in bad taste . ' Happy Ever After ' was pulling in phenomenal audiences , but Merriman wanted it to end . The B . B . C . tried to continue the show , bringing in Christopher Bond as replacement writer . Merriman objected , hence the B . B . C . changed the show into ' Terry & June ' . |
401,646 | 7,743,887 | 118,273 | 10 | Jaw-Droppingly Funny | Any show which brasses off the editor of ' The News Of The World ' is OK by me . The furore that surrounded the notorious ' paedophilia ' special has ensured that ' Brass Eye ' will not easily be forgotten . What was amusing was the way Rebekah Wade missed the point ; it was not ' sending up ' paedophilia ' , you can't do that , but rather the lynch-mob mentality of publicity-seeking tabloid rags . The rest of ' Brass Eye ' was great too ; particularly ' Drugs ' . When Noel Edmonds uttered the phrase ' Shatner's Bassoom ' , I nearly died laughing . Top marks to Chris Morris for managing to trap so many D-list celebrities and charlatan politicians into making utter fools of themselves . As with ' The Day Today ' , the use of graphics and music is both clever and imaginative ; an image of Peter Stringfellow was mocked in the ' Sex ' episode . If ' Brass Eye ' still shocks nearly a decade later , it is a testament to the genius of its creator . And it proved that the success of ' The Day Today ' was not all down to Steve Coogan . |
400,963 | 7,743,887 | 74,019 | 10 | Crying Out For A D . V . D . Release | Its hard to remember a time when David Jason was not a major television star , but that time was the early-to-mid ' 70's . Having notched up supporting roles in ' Hark At Barker ' , the ' Doctor ' series , and ' Porridge ' , many reckoned he was a star waiting to happen . All he needed was the right vehicle . ' The Top Secret Life Of Edgar Briggs ' in 1974 was a very funny show which cast our man as an incompetent secret agent . Jason himself wrote one episode . Sadly , it was not networked by I . T . V . , and got dropped after only one season . Two years later , producer Humprey Barclay tried again , hiring Terence Frisby , author of the play / film ' There's A Girl In My Soup ' to pen a new series for Jason . The result was ' Lucky Feller ' . Jason was cast as ' Bernard Mepstead ' , nicknamed ' Shorty ' for obvious reasons , an accident-prone loser ( not unlike ' Granville ' in ' Open All Hours ' ) , who runs a small-time plumbing and all-purpose repair business with his brother , the noticeably better looking Randolph , in south-east London . Both live at home with their mother . Shorty is hopeless at chatting up girls , unlike Randolph , who rather like ' Jack ' in ' On The Buses ' , has a reputation as a lady killer . In the first episode , Shorty meets the lovely Kathleen Peake whilst travelling by train , and is smitten by her . There is a hilarious scene where he struggles to eat a tough-as-old-boots sandwich in her presence . Subsequently , Kath meets his family , and becomes besotted with Randolph . The rest of the series focuses on Shorty's attempts to woo Kath , while she chases his brother . There was a fair amount of visual comedy on display . The opening titles featured Shorty at the wheel of a three-wheeled car which endlessly circled a roundabout ( the theme tune was done in the style of ' 20's jazz ) . One memorable episode took place in a launderette . The washing machines went wrong , flooding the premises with soap suds . Another instalment had Shorty in a hardware shop , accidentally smashing a pane of glass . Glynn Edwards played Kath's crude Dad . Meeting Shorty for the first time , he asked him : " Are you a virgin ? " . Pat Heywood was good as ' Mrs . Mepstead ' , who thought Shorty was an idiot and treated him accordingly . Cheryl Hall , later to play ' Shirley ' in ' Citizen Smith ' , played the lovely ' Kath ' . Towards the end of the run , Kath suspected that she was pregnant , and when Randolph refused to marry her , agreed to wed Shorty . However , on discovering she was not in that condition after all , jilted him at the altar . The final shot in the last episode was of Mr . Peake's fist making contact with Shorty's jaw . Most critics were distinctly unimpressed by ' Feller ' . Margaret Forwood of ' The Sun ' wrote : " Its so full of pathos I can hardly bear to watch it . " . This was unfair . The pathos was mixed with comedy in roughly equal proportions . As had been the case with ' Edgar Briggs ' , I . T . V . did not network the show . I myself saw it on 6 . 30 on Friday evenings , a slot normally reserved for U . S . imports and programmes of local interest . It too failed to find an audience . Jason's next I . T . V . show would be the networked ' A Sharp Intake Of Breath ' , which got to No . 1 in the ratings . One wonders whether ' Lucky Feller ' and ' Edgar Briggs ' would not have done as much had they been accorded similar treatment . A decade later , with Jason a big star thanks to not only ' Breath ' but ' Only Fools & Horses ' , I . T . V . were interested in repeating ' Lucky Feller ' , but Jason , smarting from the show's failure , refused to permit it to be reshown . To date , it has yet to appear on D . V . D . Personally , I would jump at the chance to see this again . |
400,677 | 7,743,887 | 398,440 | 10 | When Phil Was Cool | I had the privilege of seeing Phil Cool at the Swansea Grand Theatre in 1988 . He was hysterically funny , like a human ' Spitting Image ' puppet . Over the course of ninety minutes he took off Larry Hagman , Mick Jagger , Neil Kinnock , Richard Burton , John Hurt , Terry Wogan , The Pope , William Shatner , Ronald Reagan , and , of course , Rolf Harris - all brilliantly accomplished impersonations . Cool was riding high on the success of his B . B . C . - 2 show ' Cool It ' . It was like a filmed version of his stage act , there were no sets and supporting actors , and there didn't need to be . Cool made it seem as though the stage was teeming with people . When he took off Quasimodo , you almost looked away in sheer terror . The rubber-faced impressionist's first television series was the obscure ' Rock With Laughter ' while his second was the deservedly-forgotten Chris Tarrant vehicle ' Saturday Stayback ' . He was given a break by his friend Jasper Carrott , who executive produced ' Cool It ' . I tuned in by accident one night , and could not stop laughing at the sight of Phil singing Simon & Garfunkel's ' Bridge Over Troubled Water ' in the style of Rolf Harris . Phil doing Billy Connolly scratching his bum with a stick of celery during one of Andy and Fergie's dinner parties also had me shrieking . Another skit had Prince Charles becoming the new lead singer of Dire Straits . Cool's humour reflected what was happening in the world at the time , with Thatcher in No . 10 , and Reagan in The White House . Cool's success did not last long . In the early 90's , he crossed over to I . T . V . to make ' Cool Head ' which , although it had its moments , was nowhere near as funny as its predecessor . Health problems and changing public tastes sealed the fate of one of the funniest impressionists I have ever seen . An appearance on the now-defunct afternoon chat-show ' Today With Des & Mel ' a year ago showed he still has got what it takes . In today's multi-channel television environment , is it asking too much that Phil Cool be found a niche somewhere ? |
400,894 | 7,743,887 | 544,160 | 10 | Simple , obvious psychosis . | Their escape attempts having failed , the Colditz P . O . W . ' s plan to dig a tunnel , but Wing Commander George Marsh ( Michael Bryant ) has another idea - repatriation . If he can convince the Germans he has become schizophrenic , he will be sent home . Luckily , Marsh used to work in a mental hospital and knows exactly what sort of behaviour is required of him . Colonel Preston warns him of the dangers involved , but he goes ahead regardless . With only a handful of P . O . W . ' s in on Marsh's plan , they watch with bafflement as he effects a brilliant impersonation of a man whose mental health is in serious decline . He plays the same gramophone record over and over again , walks out of the castle when the doors are opened to admit a new arrival , talks to himself , plays with a toy plane and even urinates in public . He becomes a figure of fun , earning himself the unflattering nickname ' Tweedledum ' . But how far is Marsh prepared to go in order to win his freedom ? Written by John Brason , ' Tweedledum ' is a superb piece of drama which could easily have served as a one-off play . The regulars are around , but its Michael Bryant's tour-de-force performance as the seemingly deranged ' Marsh ' which takes centre stage . He is simply magnificent . Comedy actor Geoffrey Palmer plays ' Doc ' , one of the few prisoners to know what Marsh is up to . One scene was inspired by a famous moment in ' The Colditz Story ' film . As the P . O . W . ' s exercise in the grounds , one man executes a daring acrobatic leap over the fence and runs for his life . One of the great things about this series was that the Germans were not portrayed as the heel-clicking ' we are the masters now ' stereotypes so beloved of countless war movies . Bernard Hepton's Kommandant , for example , is a man doing a job , not a sadist . One of the major characters in this story is a sympathetic German , played by Berrnard Kay . I don't normally cry easily but I defy anyone not to be moved at the end as Marsh is finally led to the car that will take him away from the castle . His freedom has been earned at a terrible cost . When in 1986 the B . B . C . screened a retrospective of archive programmes , this was the episode of ' Colditz ' they selected . |
401,135 | 7,743,887 | 74,031 | 10 | Unfairly Maligned - Even By One Of Its Stars | It saddened me to hear Patrick Macnee in a recent television interview dismissing ' The New Avengers ' as ' awful ' . I hate to disagree with the great man , but I thought it a cracking show , and a worthy successor to the original . Five years after ' The Avengers ' ended , Macnee was reunited with Linda Thorson for a French television commercial for champagne . It led to finance being found for a brand new series . Brian Clemens and Albert Fennell knew the show had to move with the times . It would have been foolish pretending it was still the ' 60's . The ' 70's flavour of ' The New Avengers ' is what die-hard fans most object to . But it is a different ' 70's to the one most of us remember . This is ' Avengerland ' ' 70's style . Joanna Lumley's high-kicking ' Purdey ' was easily the best ' Avengers ' girl since Diana Rigg's ' Mrs . Peel ' . Her haircut caused a sensation at the time . Former ' Upstairs , Downstairs ' star Gareth Hunt was brought on board to play ' Mike Gambit ' , a Bondish action man . He was good in the role , and one hopes that had a third season been made his character would have been developed . Gambit fancied Purdey ( and who can blame him ? ) but she chose to stay clear of an out-and-out affair with him . Steed became more of a ' Mother ' figure , but even so was still recognisably the star of the show . ' Dead Men Are Dangerous ' shined a light on his mysterious past , reintroducing an old enemy from his Eton days . Brian Clemens , Terence Feely and Dennis Spooner wrote some fine scripts . ' Target ' , ' Dirtier By The Dozen ' , ' Sleeper ' , ' Last Of The Cybernauts ? ' and ' Angels Of Death ' are on my list of all-time favourite ' Avengers ' episodes . When the first episode ( ' The Eagle's Nest ' ) went out , Peter Phillips , television critic of ' The Sun ' , tore the new show to shreds , and invited readers to send in their views . Four out of the five letters printed the following week agreed with him . The one dissenting letter said : " I found ' The New Avengers ' a refreshing change from sickening violence of the sort to be found in such shows as ' The Sweeney ' " . The correspondent was bang on the money . Public tastes had changed , this was the era of ' Starsky & Hutch ' and ' Kojak ' . Furthermore , I . T . V . sabotaged its chances of success by denying it a network slot ( though they allocated one to the horrendous ' Charlie's Angels ' . Funny old world , isn't it ? ) . Some of the later episodes , such as ' K Is For Kill ' and ' Complex ' were filmed abroad , and while noticeably different in quality to those shot in England , managed to be stylish and entertaining . After two seasons , it disappeared for good . A ' Sunday People ' article in 1979 claimed that a U . S . network had agreed to fund a third series , provoking the amusing image of Steed in stetson and six-guns , but sadly it turned out to be another false dawn . Whatever the show's faults , it was marvellous to have Pat Macnee back as Steed - even if only for a short time . There have been far worse ' comeback ' series , check out ' C15 : The New Professionals ' if you do not believe me . |
400,983 | 7,743,887 | 502,942 | 10 | I want you to bump me off ! | Mild-mannered Arthur Harriman is happily married to the lovely Kitty . Every Friday he brings her a bunch of chrysanthemums . But she gets bored of his dog-like devotion and , after a a blazing row , walks out on him . Depressed beyond measure , Arthur tries to kill himself - but realises he has no stomach for the task . Salvation comes knocking on his front door in the unlikely shape of Clive , an eccentric odd job man . Arthur hires Clive to be his assassin . Kitty unexpectedly returns , and Arthur changes his mind about dying . But he does not know how to get in touch with Clive . . . Broadcast as part of the London Weekend Television anthology series ' Six Dates With Barker ' ( a precursor to his later ' Seven Of One ' ) , this was an early teaming for Ronnie Barker and David Jason . On reading Bernard McKenna's script , Jason assumed that as the most interesting character was ' Clive ' , Barker would be playing the role . However , Barker insisted it go to Jason . Why ? He felt Jason would be better . This act of unparallelled generosity resulted in a sparkling black comedy . As Arthur goes about his daily business , he is subjected to various murder attempts - hydrochloric acid is put in his milk , a trip wire placed at the top of the stairs outside his flat , he is almost shot in a park ( an army of gnomes is blown to smithereens and ' The Last Post ' plays in their honour ) , and the rail around the balcony sabotaged - but manages to survive each time ( until the final scene , anyway ) . Joan Sims does seem wasted in the role of ' Kitty ' , but could not have been too upset because she later appeared with Barker in ' One Man's Meat ' , an episode of ' Seven Of One ' . Barker is excellent as ' Arthur ' , as you'd expect , but the acting honours go to Jason . In his flight helmet and granny glasses , ' Clive ' resembles John Lennon playing ' Biggles ' . Australian Maurice Murphy directs at breakneck speed , coming up with some wonderfully disturbing ( almost ' Pythonesque ' ) images , such as Arthur pouring acid-flavoured milk on his breakfast . As it dissolves , he quips : " Are they supposed to do that ? " . Murphy had previously worked with Michael Palin and Terry Jones on ' The Complete & Utter History Of Britain ' , and would later direct episodes of ' Doctor In Charge ' . Spot The Mistake : Arthur says he had cornflakes for breakfast , but we saw shredded wheat . In 1978 , ' The Odd Job ' was made into a film . Jason was back as ' Clive ' , but ' Monty Python ' star Graham Chapman took the role of Arthur . Expanded to three times its original length , it was nowhere near as funny . In 1992 , Channel 4's ' T . V . Heaven ' gave ' The Odd Job ' a welcome repeat . It had lost none of its offbeat charm . |
401,281 | 7,743,887 | 502,939 | 10 | ! | The second episode of ' Six Dates With Barker ' whisks us back to 1899 A . D . A madman in top hat and cloak is terrorizing law-abiding citizens , beginning with The Prime Minister no less , of the foggy , gas-lit streets of London . No it is not Jack The Ripper ( he's presumably on holiday ) but none other than ( gasp ) ' The Phantom Raspberry Blower ' ! Sound familiar ? It should . Five years later , the story was remade by ' The Two Ronnies ' . On the first edition of ' The Two Ronnies Sketchbook ' , Ronnie Barker announced that it would be shown , eliciting a cheer from a member of the studio audience . The fact that it was well remembered as late as 2005 tells you something of its tremendous popularity . It was written , of course , by the great Spike Milligan , meaning that there is an unmistakable air of Goonishness about the whole thing . A suspect in a photograph is identified by an arrow . When Alexander calls him in for questioning , we see a giant arrow stuck to his head ! When the Phantom visits Number Ten , he hands his calling card to the Prime Minister's butler . Aside from a picture of a raspberry , it is blank . " I'm never in ! " the Phantom explains . A character called ' Lady Penelope Berkley-Hunt ' appears in one scene . ' Berkley-Hunt ' is Cockney rhyming slang for . . . oh , work it out for yourself ! Barker takes up the main role of ' Inspector Alexander ' of Scotland Yard , a detective so brilliant he is able to interview a lady who has important information about the Phantom even though they are not in the same room . He suffers a nervous breakdown in the middle of the case and goes into an asylum , where he spends his time sitting in the grounds reading comics while dressed as Napoleon . In ' The Two Ronnies ' version , it would be Ronnie Corbett who played the role , with Barker as his trusty sidekick ' Sergeant Bowles ' . Barker himself extended the story to eight weekly episodes , but graciously did not give himself a credit , hence : ' By Spike Milligan & A Gentleman ' . Sexy Moira Foot ( ' Effie ' the whispering maid of Barker's previous series ' Hark At Barker ' ) pops up as both a newspaper vendor and Miss Maureen Body , the Prime Minister's ( ahem ! ) close friend . The late John Sharp is the butler . The raspberries were supplied by David Jason . Its daft , hilarious stuff , enjoyable even if you are overly familiar with the ' Two Ronnies ' version . In a nice touch , a raspberry appears at the very end , alongside the L . W . T . logo ! Funniest moment - Following a global pursuit of the Phantom , Inspector Alexander is seen sporting travel badges on his Long Johns ! |
401,155 | 7,743,887 | 258,381 | 10 | The worst is yet to come ! | One of the most overused insults on internet film forums must be ' it was so bad it should have been on ' M . S . T . 3 . K . ' . I have always found that to be lazy criticism , rather like comparing something to the work of Edward D . Wood Junior , or branding a film a ' train wreck ' . Not only that , but it is inaccurate . What the forum users should instead say is " it should have been on ' The Worst Of Hollywood ' " . Before becoming a supporter of bad politicians , Michael Medved was the world's no . 1 aficionado of bad movies . His books ' The 50 Worst Films Of All Time ' and ' The Golden Turkey Awards ' made him a popular figure on the talk-show circuit . Channel 4's ' The Worst Of Hollywood ' ran for ten weeks , and included such classic clunkers as ' Eegah ! ' , ' Godzilla Vs . The Smog Monster ' , ' They Saved Hitler's Brain ' , ' Mars Needs Women ' and , naturally , ' Plan 9 From Outer Space ' . The curly-headed Medved introduced each edition to an audience , giving background information and plot details . The film would then be shown , with joke captions pointing out interesting features such as ' Immortal Dialogue ' and ' Stock Footage ' , along with some genuinely witty comments . Medved would reappear at the end , make further observations , then exclaim : " The worst is yet to come ! " . It was great Saturday night post-pub viewing , miles better than ' M . S . T . 3 . K ' which was , let's be honest , bloody awful . What on Earth gives a programme with tacky sets , shoddy spaceships , and badly designed ( and voiced ) robots the right to put the boot into old sci-fi movies ? Those idiots in charge of the Welsh fourth channel S4C cut the series short , with two films ( ' Robot Monster ' and ' Santa Claus Conquers The Martians ' ) going unscreened . " We are spared enough film in ' The Worst Of Hollywood ' series next week because its Christmas Eve ! " , said the smug announcer . So flaming what ? Comedy stops for nothing , mate . As for my fellow I . M . D . B . user's contribution , which is entitled ' Correction ' , exactly what is it supposed to correct ? |
401,219 | 7,743,887 | 56,777 | 10 | We are controlling transmission ! | ' The Outer Limits ' is often mentioned in the same breath as ' The Twilight Zone ' as one of the peaks of ' 60's television science fiction , and with good reason . The shows have a good deal in common , both are anthologies based partly on published fiction and original works . Both were made in glorious monochrome , feature top-drawer actors of the day , and still stand up well nearly fifty years later . ' Limits ' was the creation of Leslie Stevens , but the man who produced the first season ( and wrote many classic episodes ) is most frequently credited with its success . He was Joseph Stefano , writer of the screenplay of Hitchcock's ' Psycho ' . Stefano was responsible for establishing that each episode should have a ' bear ' - his nickname for a monster . He also hired Conrad Hall to create the show's distinctive lighting effects , while the special effects ( good for the time ) were by Projects Unlimited . It goes without saying that a modern audience would probably find the ' bears ' hilarious , but the series did not depend entirely for its impact on monsters . In ' Limits ' you will find something closely approximating the poetry of science fiction . Each episode opened with the picture blurring , while an announcer warned that the set was now under ' their ' control . It was a gimmick designed to invoke comparison with the famous Orson Welles ' War Of The Worlds ' radio broadcast ( written by Stevens , incidentally ) which conned many into believing a real alien invasion was underway . Stand-out stories include ' A Feasibility Study ' in which an American town is transported to an alien planet , ' The Zanti Misfits ' sees the arrival on Earth of hideous bug monsters with human-like faces , ' The Bellero Shield ' has a devious woman attempting to exploit alien technology for her own ends , ' The Man With The Power ' features Donald Pleasance as a man able to destroy anyone at will , in ' The Production & Decay Of Strange Particles ' ( great title ! ) atomic power triggers terrifying transformations in people , ' The Galaxy Being ' ( the show's pilot ) sees a radio ham accidentally making contact with a creature from the Andromeda constellation , ' The Forms Of Things Unknown ' has David McCallum as the inventor of a ' time tilting ' machine constructed out of hundreds of clocks . Somewhat out of place was ' The Hundred Days Of The Dragon ' , a conventional spy yarn in which the Red Chinese kill the President of The United States and replace him with an impostor , but it was gripping nevertheless . The impressive list of guest-stars included Barry Morse , Robert Culp , Carroll O'Connor , Leonard Nimoy , Robert Duvall , Sally Kellermann , Martin Landau , Sam Wanamaker , Warren Oates and Cliff Robertson . Special mention must be made of Dominic Frontiere , whose powerful music underlined the show's atmosphere of mystery and horror . ' Limits ' proved a surprise hit , and plans for a second season was laid . But when the network announced a change of time slot , Stefano resigned in protest . A new producer - Ben Brady - was appointed . Fans do not hold the second season in high regard , but a number of episodes , such as the two-parter ' The Inheritors ' , Harlan Ellison's ' Soldier ' and ' Demon With A Glass Hand ' , are as good as anything to be found in the previous year . Unfortunately , the new time-slot lost ' Limits ' viewers and it was abruptly cancelled . It appeared on I . T . V . ( usually in a late-night slot ) in the mid-'60's , and in 1980 , B . B . C . - 2 ran both seasons ( often jumbling up the episodes in haphazard fashion ) in one bumper run where it acquired a new audience . As a result of the success of ' The X-Files ' in the 1990's , ' Limits ' was resurrected by cable television . Some of the original shows - including ' I Robot ' , ' A Feasability Study ' and ' The Inheritors ' - were remade . The special effects were predictably better but alas little else was . The nudity it could have done well without . Luckily , both seasons of the original are out on D . V . D . and serve as a timely reminder of the greatness of ' 60's science fiction . |
400,694 | 7,743,887 | 70,328 | 10 | When Bond Became Saintly ! | In the early ' 70's , it looked as though the Bond movie franchise was doomed . Connery had quit for good following ' Diamonds Are Forever ' , and the hunt was on for a new leading man . On top of that , the series was widely perceived to be outdated . Clint Eastwood's ' Dirty Harry ' had arrived . Bond had to move with the times - or die . Roger Moore , fresh from the T . V . series ' The Persuaders ! ' landed the role of 007 . At the time I was horrified . Moore was too well known as ' The Saint ' - though the series ended in 1969 , it was still being shown in reruns . Could he cope with the challenge of Bond ? I need not have worried . He made the part his own very quickly . He is surprisingly good as a harder-edged 007 . The smirking Bob Hope wannabe of later films had yet to appear . Based on Ian Fleming's second Bond novel , ' Live & Let Die ' takes Bond into the orbit of the mysterious ' Mr . Big ' , who is funding SMERSH operations with pirate treasure . Tom Mankiewicz threw out most of the plot , and brought in a drug angle more in keeping with the times . If ' Diamonds Are Forever ' was ' Goldfinger 2 ' , then ' Live & Let Die ' is ' Dr . No 2 ' . The Jamaican setting , the murder of one of Bond's colleagues , the naive heroine , a deadly insect used as a murder weapon , Bond being assisted by a black man named ' Quarrel ' , all had been done before , and yet , strangely , ' Live & Let Die ' feels fresh and exciting . It was decided early on to distance the film from its predecessors , hence no briefing in M's office , or gadget lecture from Q . Even the villain's grand master plan is not particularly extravagant . Instead of blowing up the world , he wants to flood the market with free drugs . As was the case with 2006's ' Casino Royale ' , you don't feel as though you are being served up reheated left-overs . Yaphet Kotto is a fine villain , as are Julius W . Harris and Geoffrey Holder . I am not nor ever have been a fan of Jane Seymour , and her bland performance as ' Solitare ' is the film's only weakness . Compared to the tired runaround that was ' Diamonds Are Forever ' , ' Live & Let Die ' is bigger and better in every department . Just compare the boring car chase in the former to the thrilling speedboat chase in the latter . After a run of six Bond movies , John Barry was given a break from scoring , and ' Beatles ' producer George Martin took his place . Again I think this was to the film's advantage , as Martin's score has a more contemporary feel . The theme song by Paul & Linda McCartney became a worldwide hit . Its my all-time favourite Bond song . In short , ' Live & Let Die ' was the shot in the arm the Bond series needed , and made Moore a major film star . Next to ' The Spy Who Loved Me ' , its easily the best Bond film of the ' 70's . |
401,422 | 7,743,887 | 56,749 | 10 | Dad , I've got it wrong again ! | I once accompanied my late uncle on a Saturday afternoon shopping trip . As we strolled around the centre , we spotted a smartly dressed man carrying a handbag ( they were briefly fashionable in the early ' 70's . In the ' To Alf A Grandson ' episode of ' Till Death Us Do Part ' , Mike ( Tony Booth ) is seen with one ) . I was prepared to say nothing , but my uncle came out with out with " Hello , Honky Tonk , how are you ? " . The man ignored the jibe , and carried on walking . He was probably used to it . A few shoppers laughed . I for one was deeply embarrassed . That was one of many catchphrases employed by the popular comedian Dick Emery , whose B . B . C . - 1 show was a fixture of Saturday night television for the best part of two decades . He was not strictly speaking an impressionist , rather than copy famous people , he had his own repertoire of outrageous comic characters , among them the buck-toothed ' The Reverend Chislet ' , a bespectacled spinster called ' Hettie ' whose determination to get a man knew no bounds , ' Ton-Up Boy ' , the lovable old codger ' James Maynard Kitchener Lampwick ' , ' Gaylord Screwsby ' , the bovver boy ( often accompanied by his similarly attired father , played by Roy Kinnear , who would try without success to give his son a masterclass in crime ) , the upper-class tramp ' College ' , camp-as-a-row-of-tents ' Clarence ' , and not forgetting sex-pot ' Mandy ' ( whose favourite saying was ' ooh you are awful , but I like you ! ' ) . Each week , these characters inhabited sketches usually written by John Warren and John Singer , beginning with a vox pop scene on film , in which a typically B . B . C . interviewer ( the late Gordon Clyde ) stopped passers-by to ask questions . Encountering Mandy , he wound up being pushed backwards into a hedge . It is impossible to make grand claims for Emery's show as being groundbreaking , but it was certainly amusing in a seaside postcard sort of way . A lot of hard work went into the show , what with Emery playing most of the roles , and viewers appreciated it . My favourite sketches featured him as ' Bert ' , an incompetent D . I . Y . man who invited his best friend Wol ( Reg Lye ) to his house whenever he wished to show off his latest creations . Once , he converted his coal cellar into a men's drinking club complete with bar and pool table ( which naturally fell apart when they tried to play on it ) . Another time Bert built his own film studio . Pat Coombs was often cast alongside the comedian , as his curler-headed neighbour . All together now : " Oo-er ! " . Emery's show attracted impressive guest-stars such as Kate O'Mara , Yootha Joyce , and David Jason . ' Lampwick ' , the old codger with the throaty chuckle , lived with his beloved daughter Lil ( Helen Fraser ) and her husband Ernie ( Victor Maddern ) , whom he did not get along with . So popular was he that the B . B . C . at one point contemplated giving him his own spin-off series . However , in 1981 , sensing that the format was becoming stale , Emery turned the show into ' Emery Presents ' , a six-part comedy thriller serial , of which two ( ' Legacy Of Murder ' and ' Jack Of Diamonds ' ) were made , the last of these transmitted posthumously as the star died in 1983 . We shall never know whether or not he would have stayed successful or been consigned to the dustbin of history along with so many other old school comics . In recent years , edited versions of his shows have been appearing at odd times on ' U . K . Drama Daytime ' on Sky T . V . It would be great to see his entire output on D . V . D . Emery may not have been groundbreaking , but was in his own way influential . Publicising his new B . B . C . series ' Harry Enfield's Television Programme ' in 1990 , the star admitted to having been a huge fan of Emery's when he was younger ( preferring him to ' Monty Python ' ) , and confessed that his show was a carbon-copy of his idol's . Emery may have been awful , but we liked him ! |
401,205 | 7,743,887 | 56,751 | 10 | Mum , Can I Have A Dalek For Christmas ? | ' Dr . Who ' was the first television programme I got hooked on . It was 1968 , when Patrick Troughton was the incumbent . The story , a repeat of ' Evil Of The Daleks ' , was the most incredible thing I'd ever seen . Wild horses couldn't have dragged me away from the set at the same time the following week . Dalekmania had passed by then , so I never got my toy , but I did get a Dalek colouring book on Christmas morning , as well as that year's ' Dr . Who ' annual . As the ' 60's gave way to the ' 70's , my interest in the show intensified as Jon Pertwee and Tom Baker steered a successful course through the choppy seas of T . V . ratings . I started to lose interest in the ' 80's though , though that was probably my fault for growing up . When it ended in 1989 , I wasn't surprised . Now its back - and a whole new generation of children are just as excited about ' Dr . Who ' as I was back in 1968 - my enthusiasm has rekindled . We can all look back on the series as ' the classic years ' even though as far as I'm concerned they're not over yet . |
401,019 | 7,743,887 | 103,376 | 10 | An Everyday Story Of Two Men And A Frying Pan | It seemed strange that , after the witty satirical farce ' The New Statesman ' , Rik Mayall should choose to return to the ultra-crude , knockabout comedy of ' The Young Ones ' . He and Adrian Edmondson starred as ' Richie Richard ' and ' Eddie Hitler ' , two natural-born losers who when not railing against the world are at each other's throats . The show's violence is pitched at the level of ' The Three Stooges ' . It was at its funniest when the characters were in isolation ; in their disgusting flat , trapped on a fun-fair ferris wheel , or watching cricket whilst sunbathing on the roof of a shop . Here they could work off their aggression verbally . Steven O'Donnell and Christopher Ryan were hilarious as Richie and Eddie's deranged friends ' Spudgun ' and ' Dave Hedgehog ' . Mayall and Edmondson were right to limit ' Richie ' and ' Eddie ' to two seasons , but made a terrible mistake in bringing them to the big screen ; the result was the frightful and best forgotten ' Guest House Paradiso ' . |
400,972 | 7,743,887 | 398,559 | 10 | I think we'd best leave this one open , John ! | Reviewing archive television programmes , it is hard to avoid using the phrase " this could not possibly be made now " . ' Second Verdict ' , shown on B . B . C . - 1 in the summer of 1976 ( phew ! what a scorcher that was ! ) is a fine example of a programme that ' could not possibly be made now ' . Though screened in peak-time , it basically consisted of a pair of middle-aged men talking a lot while confined to one room . Can you imagine it being commissioned now ? Anyone foolish enough to entertain the notion would be told to go and have a lie down . The trick was that the men in question were Frank Windsor and the late Stratford Johns , reprising their roles as ' Det . Chief . Supt . Charlie Barlow ' and ' Det . Chief . Supt . John Watt ' from the crime dramas ' Softly , Softly ' and ' Z-Cars ' . Over six weeks , they re-opened the files of some of the world's most baffling criminal cases , such as the Lindbergh kidnappings and the murders of the Princes in the Tower by King Richard 111 . The ' pilot ' was a 1973 programme about Jack The Ripper . Though Barlow and Watt failed to work out just who did do it , it was fascinating watching them at work . They would state all the known facts , attempt to work out how the crimes were committed , usually with the help of specially staged reconstructions , and bring their not inconsiderable detective skills to bear by challenging the verdicts . It was like a television version of ' Sleuth ' . Johns and Windsor were a great team , and watching the duo spar was a treat . Sadly , the show had one major flaw . With the exception of the final episode - ' Who Burned Down The Reichstag ? ' - no actual second verdicts were forthcoming . The evidence was just not there . Johns said in an interview at the time : " I did not like the title . It was too limiting . I would have preferred ' Second Opinion ' . " . Another problem was that I . T . V . had a similar show on air at that time . ' Killers ' featured detailed reconstructions of notorious crime trials , with much of the dialogue based on transcripts . According to Brian Lawrence , television critic of The News Of The World : " ' Killers ' makes ' Second Verdict ' look sick ! " . Whatever its faults , the B . B . C . show worked as both history and entertainment . It still exists , and a D . V . D . release - though highly unlikely - would not go amiss . To leave it gathering dust on a shelf for all time would itself be a crime . |
401,245 | 7,743,887 | 640,658 | 10 | You dirty old man ! You prodded my bosom ! | The first episode of the classic I . T . V . sitcom ' Man About The House ' . Chrissy and Jo are a pair of attractive young working class women living a bed-sit in Myddleton Terrace , London . Their third flatmate , Eleanor , recently left to get married ( and have a baby ! ) , which means there is now a vacancy for her room . A wild party takes place in the flat , and the next morning Chrissy and Jo are faced with the mammoth task of clearing away empty bottles , used cigarette packets , and half-eaten food . Preparing to take a bath , Jo finds it occupied - by Robin Tripp , a cookery student of no fixed abode . While his clothes dry out , the girls give him a woman's dressing gown to wear . He cooks them a scrumptious meal based on the few ingredients they have in their fridge . They like it so much they ask him to stay . With no place of his own ( and keen on the idea of living with two sexy , single girls ) he accepts . But how to explain his presence to their landlord , Mr . Roper ? Johnnie Mortimer and Brian Cooke followed up their successful ' Father Dear Father ' with this equally popular show . They had worked with Richard O'Sullivan on ' F . D . F . ' - he played ' Howard ' , the accident-prone boyfriend of one of Patrick Cargill's daughters . The actor was also then appearing in ' Doctor In Charge ' , as the conceited ' Dr . Lawrence Bingham ' . ' Robin Tripp ' was very different to ' Bingham ' , being trendy , lecherous and in possession of a sense of humour . Knowing the subject matter was likely to give Mrs . Mary Whitehouse a fit of the vapours , the writers made it clear that there was no hanky-panky in Myddleton Terrace . Robin might have wanted it , but the girls were not forthcoming . This game of ' will they won't they ' was played for six seasons from 1973-76 and it is to everyone's credit that it never once became boring . Brian Murphy and Yootha Joyce stole the show as the warring Ropers , and later landed their own spin-off . Helen Fraser , a . k . a . ' Dr . Mary Bingham ' from ' Doctor In Charge ' , appears here as the horsey ' Gabrielle ' ( " my friends call me Gabby ! " ) , who has responded to the girls ' ad in the paper for a new flatmate . Funniest moment - thinking ' Gabby ' is a man in drag ( based on what Mildred earlier told him ) , Roper pokes her ample breast with his finger , only to find it is not fake ! |
400,880 | 7,743,887 | 72,289 | 10 | Wilder & Newhart - What A Great Team ! | Sometime in the early ' 80's , an industrial dispute resulted in the last-minute cancellation of my favourite show ' Minder ' . In its place I . T . V . screened a U . S . T . V . movie I had not seen before : ' Thursday's Game ' . I watched mainly because it starred Gene Wilder and the equally wonderful Bob Newhart ( if you have never heard his comic monologues , you owe it to yourself to do so ) . Wilder is ' Harry Evers ' , producer of a daytime game show called ' Let's Chance It ! ' . The ratings are dropping so , expecting cancellation , he goes to see an employment officer ( Nancy Walker ) with a view to putting himself back on the job market . Initially , she tells him that getting a new job will be easy . She then finds out she has read the wrong resume . Reading the correct one , she does not look happy . Harry's worst fears are confirmed . He is unemployable . The highlight of Harry's week is his Thursday night poker game with his buddies , among them Marvin ( Newhart ) , owner of a successful fashion empire . One night , the game erupts into a fight when a losing player refuses to pay Harry what he owes him . Determined to keep the tradition of the wife-free Thursday night alive , he and Marvin begin going to theatres , cinemas , and bars . Marvin is also going through a mid-life crisis - he wants to divorce his much older wife Lois ( Cloris Leachman ) but is afraid to do so in case she tries to top herself . Harry approaches Ann ( Valerie Harper ) with a view to an affair , but cannot bring himself to go through with it . Then disaster strikes - his wife Lynne ( Ellen Burstyn ) finds out the game ended months ago , and thinks her husband is cheating on her . . . This was made in 1971 but went unscreened until 1974 , possibly to cash in on Wilder's popularity in the Mel Brooks movies , as well as Burstyn's role in ' The Exorcist ' . The studio executives who did not like it must have been watching with their eyes shut . ' Thursday's Game ' is a warm , funny comedy which encompasses adult themes such as marriage , divorce , redundancy , depression , adultery , and above all friendship . Unusually for a comedy of this kind , James L . Brooks ' script is not shot through with unrealistic one-liners , the humour arises naturally out of the characters and situations . Wilder is fabulous , only going over the top when he has to . When Harry is fired , he sits there stone-faced listening to the squeak of his chair before casually trashing his ex-boss ' office . Newhart's big moment comes when Marvin tells Lois he wants a divorce over dinner in a busy New York restaurant , and she suffers a bout of hysteria , predating the most famous scene in ' When Harry Met Sally ' by almost two decades . The chemistry between the stars is wonderful . Funniest moment ? Its when Harry goes to see his agent ( Rob Reiner ) and is stunned to find the man does not know who he is , despite him having been paid ten per cent of Harry's salary each month for four years . Harry's rage is hysterical to watch . At the end , Marvin , now a free man , goes off to Europe , and you find yourself almost wishing Harry would go with him . But Harry's loyalty to his family is too strong . ' Thursday's Game ' is hard to track down , but for fans of Wilder and Newhart or anyone just wanting a good laugh it is well worth the effort . |
401,524 | 7,743,887 | 665,467 | 10 | Birth Of A Comedy Classic | The B . B . C . ' s ' Dad's Army ' recently celebrated its fortieth anniversary . On February 28th 2009 , it will be the turn of I . T . V . ' s ' On The Buses ' . I sincerely doubt whether we will see any tribute shows of the ' Jonathan Ross Salutes Dad's Army ' variety ( some may think that a good thing ) , partly because it did not last quite as long , but mainly because of the I . T . V . sitcom's so-called dodgy reputation . Retro programmes equate it with ' Love Thy Neighbour ' and ' Mind Your Language ' for sexism and racism . I think this view is largely unfair , because it is based on the films rather than the series . People who have never sat through an episode will denounce the show as rubbish , when all they have seen is Little Arthur crapping on a potty in ' Mutiny On The Buses ' . Nick Hornby , author of ' About A Boy ' , branded the show in ' The Guardian ' one of the worst things about 1976 - even though it ended three years earlier . The first episode - ' The Early Shift ' - should be compulsive viewing for detractors . It begins with Stan Butler ( Reg Varney ) complaining about the new bus schedules , meaning he has to rise so early in the morning it is still dark , and even Tony Blackburn has not started broadcasting . Stan's mum ( Cicely Courtneidge ) puts sausages in his thermos flask , and warms his shoes in the oven , as Stan finds out when he tries to put them on . At the depot , Stan learns the canteen is not open until noon , hence he has to eat his grub in the driver's cabin with the engine running . Blakey ( Stephen Lewis ) objects , so Jack ( Bob Grant ) , Stan's conductor and partner-in-crime , initiates an unauthorised strike . Any ideas Stan might have about enjoying a morning lie-in vanish though when he gets a phone call from the strike committee ordering him to report to the depot at 5 . 30 A . M . for picket duty . Only four people are on the line the following morning - Stan , Jack , George ( a pre-'Love Thy Neighbour ' Rudolph Walker , in his one and only ' Buses ' appearance ) and Stan's mum . Spotting Blakey attempting to drive the bus out of the depot , Stan lies in front of it , and in so doing attracts favourable local news coverage . . . Its interesting to see some members of the cast before their roles had been properly defined . Olive , for instance , is a heavy smoker , not a compulsive eater . No jokes are made about her weight . Blakey does not use that moaning laugh so beloved of impersonators such as Mike Yarwood , nor does he say ' I ' ate you Butler ' ( that came in later ) . As Stan's mum is stage and film actress Cicily Courtneidge , who at that time was a big enough star to warrant second billing and appear with Reg Varney in the opening credits . She is rather good in the role of ' Mum ' , though in my view Doris Hare was superior . As previously noted , black actor Rudolph Walker plays ' George ' . This will come as a shock to the likes of Mark Lawson but neither he nor his skin colour are made fun of . He would not be the last black actor to feature in the show - Glen Whittier replaced him as ' Chalky ' . The depiction of trade unions is very much in keeping with that of sitcoms of the period , namely that they brought their members out on strike for no other reason than to watch football or go to the pub . Only Arthur ( Michael Robbins ) voices the view that they may have been ' infiltrated ' . Industrial disputes being the work of Communist agitators was an oft-repeated ( and inaccurate ) claim made by the Tories at that time . Trust Arthur to fall for it . The timing of this episode was perfect . It went out at the tail-end of the winter of 1969 , one of the coldest I can remember . Stan's complaints about the weather therefore rang perfectly true . Funniest moment - Arthur bragging that his union meetings ( he works in a railway station ticket office ) usually have every member present . " With you as Treasurer , I'm not surprised ! " , retorts Stan , infuriating his brother-in-law . The groundwork was laid for one of I . T . V . ' s biggest comedy successes . ( In my I . M . D . B . review of ' Shelley ' , I described the Hywel Bennett show as I . T . V . ' s second best sitcom , in second place behind ' Rising Damp ' . Having viewed episodes recently , I have changed my mind . ' On The Buses ' is funnier by far ) . |
400,746 | 7,743,887 | 178,126 | 10 | Criminally Underrated Show | Whilst Britain was mesmerised by ' The Fast Show ' , a vastly superior sketch show appeared on B . B . C . - 2 . ' Big Train ' was in the ' Monty Python ' mold , featuring sketches that started out as one thing before turning into something else , such as ' Alfred Hitchcock's ' The Working Class ' ' , a ' Saint ' style fight breaking out at a posh dinner party , or Chairman Mao leaping off his death bed to do a Bryan Ferry impression . The cast threw themselves into the thing with commendable straight faced enthusiasm ; Simon Pegg , Julia Davis and Catherine Tate later became major stars . My favourite , however , was Kevin Eldon . His ' Sir George Martin ' was staggering ! Mark Heap was also brilliant . This was Arthur Mathews and Graham Linehan's first series since ' Father Ted ' and alas suffered by way by comparison . The two shows are just as funny , but in different ways . It takes genius to make the notion of a ' stare-out ' contest funny . ' Big Train ' deserved to be a greater success ( a lot of it went over people's heads ) than it was . " Is that a reference to me not being married ? " . |
401,283 | 7,743,887 | 1,200,510 | 10 | There are no curtains ! | Granada's ' The Army Game ' was the first British sitcom with a militaristic theme , and ran from 1957-61 . Surprisingly , it would be fourteen years before I . T . V . attempted another . By then , the B . B . C . ' s ' Dad's Army ' was firmly established as one of the most popular shows on television , but you did not need a crystal ball to work out it could not last much longer . The mostly elderly cast was finding it harder and harder to continue working , and Jimmy Perry and David Croft did not want the show to fizzle out like a damp firework . Besides , they already had a replacement of sorts underway in the shape of ' It Ain't ' Alf Hot Mum ' starring Michael Bates . I . T . V . thought the time right to launch its own militaristic sitcom and over the next few years gave us ' Backs To The Land ' ( about land army girls ) , ' Yanks Go Home ' ( in which randy G . I . ' s invaded a tiny Northern village ) , and , of course , ' Get Some In ! ' , set in an R . A . F . base in Skelton in 1955 . John Esmonde and Bob Larbey drew inspiration from an episode of their series ' The Fenn Street Gang ' entitled ' The Thin Yellow Line ' in which loudmouth Frankie Abbott signed up with the army . Playing the brutal ' Corporal Elliott ' was Tony Selby . ' Get ' cast him as ' Corporal Percy Marsh ' , a man frightened of no-one except his wife Alice ( Lori Wells ) . He would put the fear of God into Richard Widmark's character from ' Take The High Ground ' , being a racist , homophobic bully . No sooner has he been introduced to his new intake than he proceeds to make their lives hell . Among the conscripts are teddy boy ' Jakey Smith ' ( Robert Lindsay ) , timid vicar's son ' Matthew Lilley ' ( Gerard Ryder ) , Scot Bruce Leckie ( Brian Pettifer - later to play ' Andra ' in ' Rab C . Nesbitt ' ) , and scholar ' Ken Richardson ' ( David Janson ) . Marsh initially only bullies the new boys because it is his job to knock them into shape , but when Ken accidentally causes the Corporal to lose a cushy posting to Hong Kong , the dislike turns to hatred . The scene is set for the rest of the series . Watching this in 1975 I was shocked . Although National Service had been abolished a decade earlier , a number of right-wing politicians were effectively campaigning for its return as a means of stamping out teenage delinquency . Even today , the comment ' Bring back National Service , that'll sort those ruffians out ' regularly appears on newspapers ' letters ' pages . Unlike the Walmington-On-Sea platoon , these are young men cruelly snatched away from their families and homes to spend two years of their lives in a horrible environment , making ' Get ' bleak by ' 70's sitcom standards . There is a poignant moment near the end of the first episode when Matthew tearfully recalls the life he left behind only that morning ( " Mother frying mushrooms and Father working on his sermon ! " ) which is spoilt slightly by the laughter of the studio audience . The cast are first-rate , particularly Selby as ' Marsh ' . So convincing was he as a hard case that , during the run of the series , he could not visit a pub without someone expressing a desire to beat him up . Robert Lindsay became a star as a result of this show , going on to appear in John Sullivan's ' Citizen Smith ' and Alan Bleasdale's ' G . B . H ' among other things . Unlike in later editions , the conscripts here do not manage to get their own back on Marsh . His final cry of ' I will kill you , bring you back to life , then kill you all over again ' ' is truly chilling . Esmonde and Larbey , like Perry and Croft , decided to tell the truth about this particular period of British history , and while this is commendable , is probably the main reason why the show is not repeated now . Marsh's cries of " Nance ! " and " Jockstrap ! " would most likely offend modern audiences . Funniest moment - Marsh asking Smith his name . When Smith tells him , the Corporal sneeringly responds : " Is that with one ' f ' or two ? " . Second funniest moment - Jakey giving instructions to the barber , only to lose most of his hair in one swift cut . |
400,784 | 7,743,887 | 162,123 | 10 | Writers with luggage locker keys do it ! | If ever there was a success story for the ' 70's , it surely was the career of actor John Alderton . After quitting the role of teacher Bernard Hedges in ' Please Sir ! ' in 1971 ( though he popped up in three early episodes of the spin-off ' The Fenn Street Gang ' ) , he went on to appear in a string of hit shows , including ' Upstairs , Downstairs ' , ' My Wife Next Door ' , ' Wodehouse Playhouse ' , ' Thomas & Sarah ' , and of course this . ' The Upchat Line ' was a witty seven-part Thames sitcom written by Keith Waterhouse , author of ' Billy Liar ' . The lead character , Mike Upchat , shares similarities with young Fisher , namely in that he has a weakness for girls , and for telling the truth . Upchat said he was a writer , but had had nothing published ( " My publishers are unreasonable . They won't publish a title unless there's a book to go with it . " . ) . He was homeless , and kept his few possessions in a luggage locker in Marylebone Station . Being blessed with ' the gift of the gab ' , getting accommodation for the night was a breeze for him . All he had to do was find a pretty girl , use his chat-up technique , and bingo , he'd be in her bed . In the opening scene of the first episode , he is seen leaving Buckingham Palace of all places . He goes to a party and after spending the night with Wanda Ventham , discovers that her husband - a Black Belt in karate - has come home unexpectedly early . In another , Upchat has the staff of a city department store believing he has worked there for years , whereas in reality he only started the job that morning . In yet another , he goes to hospital and everyone takes him for a doctor . The show depended for much of its appeal on Alderton's charm . Upchat could smooth talk his way out of any difficult situation , using lies to impress attractive women and , when in danger of being found out , using lies to get himself out of trouble . His lack of social responsibilities made his lifestyle one to be envied . Alderton played a similar character in ' Sprout ' , a comedy pilot from 1974 by future ' Shelley ' creator Peter Tilbury . Upchat's on-screen conquests included Gabrielle Drake , Sue Lloyd , Susan Jameson and Liza Goddard . Sexist ? Absolutely . But undeniably amusing . The catchy ragtime signature tune was by ' Wombles ' composer / performer Mike Batt . The humour was unusually sophisticated by I . T . V . standards ( hailing from the era of ' Oh No Its Selwyn Froggitt ' and ' The Rag Trade ' ) , and felt more like a B . B . C . - 2 series . Nevertheless , it was a ratings hit , and , by rights , should have run and run . But there were behind the scenes problems . Being a perfectionist , Alderton had a habit of refusing to do scripts he did not approve of , and would return for rewrites those he was unhappy with . When he did this on ' The Upchat Line ' , Waterhouse was livid . The author made his anger public : " He ( Alderton ) changed so much in one episode that I considered taking my name off it . " . His next words came as a bitter blow to fans : " I won't write for him again . I never realised how bloody awkward he can be . " . With Alderton out of the show , the search was on for a new ' Mike Upchat ' . Whoever took on the role needed to be funny , sexy and charming . They eventually settled on Robin Nedwell , then fresh from a long stint on L . W . T . ' s ' Doctor ' series in which he played ' Dr . Duncan Waring ' . As if in acknowledgment of the change in lead actor , the show was retitled ' The Upchat Connection ' . |
401,625 | 7,743,887 | 78,670 | 10 | The Original ' One Foot In The Grave ' | In his excellent book on ' Dad's Army ' , Graham McCann wondered why the B . B . C . had never repeated Roy Clarke's sitcom ' Potter ' , which originally starred Arthur Lowe . I have often wondered the same thing . We've all met a Redvers Potter ; you'll find one in any pub , sitting alone , drinking whisky , nose buried in ' The Daily Mail ' , speaking to no-one except the barman , either to order drinks or huff and puff about how socialism has destroyed Britain . ' Potter ' was a perfect role for Arthur Lowe , officious , grumpy , xenophobic ( " I love everything French . . . except the French ! " ) , there were similarities with ' Captain Mainwaring ' , as well as ' Harry Duckworth ' from the classic ' Galton & Simpson Playhouse ' edition ' Car Along The Pass ' . In the first episode , Potter retires from the family sweet manufacturing company ( ' Potter Mints The Hotter Mints ' ) . On his final day , he is appalled to find that the new owners have taken the nameplate off his door and removed most of the furniture and fittings . Even some of the wallpaper is missing . Potter then berates a secretary for her modern dress sense and argues with the man in the boiler room for trying to make off with his office carpet . Rather like Victor Meldrew years later , Potter finds himself with too much time on his hands , so decides to meddle in other people's affairs . For instance , giving his long-suffering neighbour ' Tolly ' Tolliver a lift to the railway station - even though its not where he wants to go . Spotting a small crowd gathered in the street , Potter assumes an accident has taken place , and , taking charge , reroutes traffic and sends for ambulances . It turns out that the gathering is watching a local artist at work . To confound Potter's embarrassment , he then finds himself stranded in the middle of the road , surrounded on both sides by vehicles . Potter's wife Aileen is so fed up at being taken for granted she has become an alcoholic without him noticing . Possibly the show's only flaw was the use of a laugh track . Clarke's lines are not your usual T . V . sitcom lines and the studio audience seems unsure how to react to them , giving the impression the show is less funny than it is . I found myself laughing in places where the audience was silent , such as when Potter asked rhetorically over a drink : " Have you ever known a really exciting Tuesday ? " . ' Potter ' would have been twice as funny without the laugh track . Thanks to Lowe's acting and Clarke's scripts , ' Potter ' was a hit . After two seasons , Lowe sadly passed on , and the role went to that fine actor Robin Bailey . Bailey did his best but Lowe proved too hard an act to follow . |
400,652 | 7,743,887 | 74,343 | 10 | Cock Robin Strikes Again ! | Having been both window cleaner and pop performer , accident-prone Timothy Lea ( Robin Askwith ) embarks on another of his brother-in-law Sid Noggett's ( Tony Booth ) daft , money-making schemes , this time buying Dumphrey's run-down driving school , which they rename ' Noglea ' . Unfortunately , they have a rival next door in the shape of the Truscott School of Motoring , run by pompous Henry Truscott ( Windsor Davies ) and his creepy minion Tony Bender ( George Layton ) . Timmy takes a fancy to the former's posh daughter Mary ( Lynda Bellingham ) . When not courting her , he is seduced by practically every female he meets , including his landlady ' Mrs . Chalmers ' ( Liz Fraser ) , her nymphet daughter ' Avril ' ( Maxine Casson ) and ' Lady Snodley ' ( Chrissy Iddon ) . The best place to see a ' Confessions ' film is the cinema . Rather like Bond movies , they lose something on the small screen . It is hard to explain their appeal to anyone who was not alive in the ' 70's . You had to be there . Yes , they're sexist , homophobic , racist etc . That's why we love ' em ! ' Driving Instructor ' is my favourite , mainly because of Windsor Davies ' Sean Connery impersonation and the irreplaceable Irene Handl as a senile learner . George Layton's ' Bender ' is not unlike Richard O'Sullivan's ' Bingham ' from the L . W . T . ' Doctor ' series , in which Layton played ' Dr . Paul Collier ' . Bill Maynard's fight with the Italian waiter ( John Junkin ) is a scream , as is Damaris Hayman's short-sighted golfer whacking Timmy's bare bum with a golf club , and there are good car stunts by Rocky Taylor . Ed Welch's title theme is great too . Funniest moment ? Lord Snodley ( Ballard Berkeley from ' Fawlty Towers ' ) catches Timmy making love to his wife , and sets his hunting dogs on him . Tally Ho ! Lynda Bellingham was then married to producer Greg Smith . In an interview at the time , Robin expressed a desire ( no , not that sort ) to direct a ' Confessions ' , but it never happened . I wonder what it would have been like . Given the storyline - rival driving schools competing for custom - it is kind of ironic that in the year this was released , the ' Confessions ' series itself acquired a rival - Stanley A . Long's ' Adventures Of A Taxi Driver ' starring Barry Evans and Judy Geeson . Actors such as Liz Fraser were poached . It proved equally popular . I do not think Greg Smith had cause for complaint though , seeing how ' Confessions ' was a carbon-copy of the ' Carry On ' movies to start with . Big hit though this was ( rightly so ) , the end was nigh for Timmy Lea . One more movie - ' Confessions From A Holiday Camp ' - and his ardour would be dampened forever . It was probably just as well . You could not imagine a ' Confessions ' movie being made in the 1980's . What would it have been called ? ' Confessions Of A Dole Signer ' ? |
401,416 | 7,743,887 | 78,690 | 10 | The Private Eye Who Became A Private Ear | ' Shoestring ' is , in my view , the finest detective series the B . B . C . has ever made . The same production team were responsible for the later ( and vastly inferior ) ' Bergerac ' , but it had something the Jersey-based show lacked - Trevor Eve . In his pyjama jacket , Beatles-styled mop ( Eve had once played Paul McCartney on stage ) and sporting a fashionable moustache , the character could easily have crossed the line into parody ( he also had a habit of sketching the people he met in the course of cases ) , but Eve made Eddie warm and believable . Shoestring was originally a computer programmer who'd lost his job as the result of a nervous breakdown . His landlady , Erica Bayliss , worked in the police archives , and was a big help to him as she had access to confidential files . After a case involving a dead prostitute , Eddie was offered his own show by Radio West . Nowhere was Eve's acting ability more impressive than the scene in the second episode where Eddie suffers a fit of nerves whilst on air for the first time . Admittedly , his cases were small beer by comparison with U . S . detectives such as ' Philip Marlowe ' - religious cults , fake antiques dealers , punk rockers and dangerous Christmas toys - but the scripts were good and the cast performed them excellently . Special mention must go to George Fenton for his wonderful music , and Sid Sutton for his titles . ' Shoestring ' was a big hit ( Cary Grant was reputedly a fan ) , even though its second season clashed with ' The Professionals ' on I . T . V . , and should have run for five years at least . But it was not to be . Fearing typecasting , Trevor Eve quit after two . Due to complicated music rights issues , we are unlikely to see ' Shoestring ' on D . V . D . for the foreseeable future . A great shame . |
401,197 | 7,743,887 | 78,688 | 10 | Love On The Dole - With a Phd | University graduate James Shelley is an unemployment statistic in Thatcher's Britain . With a difference . He doesn't work because he doesn't want to . With girlfriend Fran , he lives in Mrs . Hawkins ' boarding house in Pangloss Road . When not laying about in bed all day he is to be found either in the pub or else engaging in witty repartee with the harassed staff of the local Unemployment Benefit Office . The timing of ' Shelley ' was perfect ; as unemployment rose to three million in the early ' 80's , the character was seen by some as a champion of the underdog , a man who shrugged off the insults of toffee-nosed D . H . S . S . officers , and gave as good as he got . Hywel Bennett was outstanding as Shelley , and Peter Tilbury's scripts were a world away from normal I . T . V . sitcom fare . Belinda Sinclair made a good foil , often matching him insult for insult . When Fran departed ( along with Tilbury ) , the show declined in quality , despite first-rate scripts by Andy Hamilton and Guy Jenkin , as Shelley seemed lonely and down in the dumps on his own . It recovered some of its sparkle in 1988 when it returned as ' The Return Of Shelley ' , taking the opportunity to mock the ' yuppie ' phenomenon of the time . ' Rising Damp ' is rightly regarded as I . T . V . ' s best sitcom , but in my view ' Shelley ' runs it a close second . |
401,491 | 7,743,887 | 85,094 | 10 | Tempting , isn't it ? | 1984 was a sad year for anyone who loved old school British comedy - Tommy Cooper died in April , Eric Morecambe followed him a month later , and as if that were not heartbreaking enough , in October Leonard Rossiter passed on . With the alternative comedy revolution gathering momentum , it looked as though the old guard's days were numbered . But not quite . They had a few tricks left up their sleeve . Thames ' ' The Steam Video Company ' owed a debt to A . T . V . ' s ' Carry On Laughing ' in that each episode spoofed a movie genre , mostly sci-fi and horror , with the same actors cropping up each week in different roles . The urbane William Franklyn was reunited with his ' What's On Next ? ' co-stars Barry Cryer , Anna Dawson , and Bob Todd , with Madeline Smith and , representing the new wave of comedy , Jimmy Mulville . The titles alone should give you an idea as to the level of humour : ' The Strange Case Of Dr . Jekyll ' , ' I Was Hitler's Bookie ' and ( best of all ) ' Amityville 2 - Luton Town 3 ' . Franklyn often broke out of character to address the audience a la Frankie Howerd . With Maddy Smith around , there was room for ' bust ' jokes aplenty . Dawson was the show's other regular ' sexpot ' . Bob Todd ( " I know who you are ! You're Bob Todd in a mask ! " ) , was cast as various monsters including a spider and a triffid . During the filming of the series Eamonn Andrews presented Todd with his famous red " This Is Your Life ' book . It came as a shock to the veteran comic , who had been told that Barry Cryer was the intended victim . Andrew Marshall and David Renwick's scripts were ( deliberately ) loaded with corny gags and double entendres , and even managed to sneak in jibes at the expense of other shows . For instance , ' 60 Minutes ' , the B . B . C . ' s massively unpopular successor to ' Nationwide ' , was parodied as ' Nationwide With The Furniture Rearranged ' . Franklyn did a brilliant impersonation of Barry Cryer in a spoof game show called ' Down Your Trousers ' ! , while Cryer's stunning ' Groucho Marx ' was a highlight of ' Creature From The Black Forest Gateau ' . ' The Mystery Of Plankton Lodge ' concluded with the entrance of a werewolf - except that it was really a were-Rolf - enabling Phil Cool to put in a guest appearance as Rolf Harris . Each edition opened with spoof trailers voiced by the legendary Bob Danvers-Walker , for years the voice of Pathe News . Only one series was made . Out of step with the times it may have been , but it was a laugh riot , with the cast appearing to be having a whale of a time . It had a sense of fun many modern shows would do well to emulate . |
400,705 | 7,743,887 | 58,846 | 10 | The Original International Man Of Mystery | For forty years , cult T . V . fans have been asking the question : " Who was Number Six ? " , referring , of course , to Patrick McGoohan's fantasy masterpiece ' The Prisoner ' . But in an earlier series , he played a character who was equally mysterious and enigmatic . The show was ' Danger Man ' and the character was ' John Drake ' . Throughout the series , we see little of Drake himself . We know he lives in London , at a fashionable mews address , drives a Mini Cooper , is fond of cigars and doesn't seem all that fond of women . Whenever one throws herself at him , such as the Jill Melford character in ' The Galloping Major ' , he keeps her at arms length . This self-imposed chastity endeared him to us kids , as it meant that the stories could not get bogged down in soppy romantic sub-plots . Like Bond , Drake loves gadgets - the ' From Russia With Love ' variety - radios in electric razors , microphones concealed in walking sticks , typewriters containing cameras and so on . Occasionally , Drake is called upon to impersonate an army major , butler , or schoolteacher , which meant his entire personality would go submerged . In this respect , ' Danger Man ' was the forerunner to the U . S . series ' Mission : Impossible ' , which also featured agents about whom the viewer knew next to nothing other than their names . The series was grounded in reality , unlike the later ' Avengers ' and ' U . N . C . L . E . ' . Each week , Drake would be assigned to rescue a captured British agent , locate stolen defence plans , or penetrate an enemy spy ring . McGoohan played ' Drake ' in a terse , arrogant yet oddly charismatic way , preempting Sean Connery's early performances as ' James Bond ' . ' Danger Man ' was produced in two batches - one transmitted in Britain in , and another from 1964-67 . Its the early half-hour episodes which work best for me , being more tightly written and directed . In these , Drake works for N . A . T . O . , and appears to be an American , but later on , he would be redefined as an Englishman attached to the British Secret Service outfit M9 . Of the hour-long episodes , I cite ' Colony Three ' ( the inspiration for ' The Prisoner ' ) , ' No Marks For Servility ' , ' Not So Jolly Roger ' and ' Whatever Happened To George Foster ? ' as amongst my personal favourites . ' Danger Man ' ended with a rousing two-part colour adventure set in Japan - ' Koroshi ' and ' Shinda Shima ' . Though not popular with many fans , for my money they rounded off the series nicely , and made one wish McGoohan had done more in similar vein before moving onto ' The Prisoner ' . ' Danger Man ' does not get repeated often because it was mostly made in black and white . Yet , for anyone who loves ' 60's action television , it is essential viewing . |
400,863 | 7,743,887 | 260,644 | 10 | My Daily Date With Marian | For those of us at home during the ' 70's for whatever reason ( illness , school holidays , power cuts etc . ) , ' Pebble Mill At One ' was essential viewing . Transmitted at one o'clock each weekday , it was a magazine show live from the foyer of the B . B . C . studios at Pebble Mill in Birmingham , and comprised celebrity chat , music , cookery , previews of up-and-coming programmes , film reviews ( Tony Bilbow had a regular movie slot on Thursdays ) , and travel reports . Something for everyone . I used to watch in the hope of catching a favourite star , and was rarely disappointed . One day in 1976 , Sid James was there to promote the new play he was starring in . As one would expect , he was pretty lively . A week later , however , he died . I had been lucky enough to witness his final live television appearance . On an earlier occasion , an actor appeared I had never heard of . He was called Tom Baker , and was announced as ' the new Doctor Who ' . This came as a shock ; I had no idea that Jon Pertwee was leaving . Baker seemed cold and unresponsive . It did not bode well for the show's future . As I now know , he went on to become the best Doctor ever ( at least until David Tennant came along ) . This being the ' 70's , we could expect real stars , not idiots famous for flashing their boobs on reality shows . Sophia Loren graced the ' Pebble Mill ' studio with her presence one afternoon , as did David Niven , James Mason , Peter Ustinov , Kenneth More , and director Francis Ford Coppola ( there to promote ' Apocalypse Now ' ) . Comedians Eric Morecambe , Charlie Drake , Roy Hudd , Billy Dainty , Jack Douglas , Les Dawson , and Arthur Askey also appeared . The studio audience knew how to behave themselves , meaning we got none of the cheering and whooping of today's daytime television stuff ( cough - ' Loose Women ' - cough ) . Bob Langley was the main presenter , a rugged he-man type who would have made a very good James Bond had he been an actor . He went on to write a number of fine thrillers . Then there was Donny MacLeod , a jovial Scotsman ( who sadly died much too young ) and Marian Foster , with whom I was hopelessly infatuated . The original theme music was great too ; a racey , jet-setting tune that made the viewer think something special was about to occur . More often than not , it did . So popular was the show it spawned a late night spin-off - ' Saturday Night At The Mill ' . During its run , a strike meant that no musicians could appear or perform . Not to be outdone , Langley encouraged the audience to sing the opening theme ! ' Pebble Mill At One ' enjoyed a good run , and even when it wasn't particularly brilliant , one could always amuse oneself staring past the boring guest at the road beyond , and playing ' Spot The Car ! ' ! Sadly , the B . B . C . sold off its Pebble Mill studio a few years ago , but memories of the show linger on . It certainly beat ' Metalwork ' with the grumpy Mr . Harris ! |
400,786 | 7,743,887 | 56,868 | 10 | Look's what crawled out of the cheese ! | Billy Fisher , a bone idle young clerk at Shadrach & Duxbury's Funeral Emporium in the provincial Northern town of Stradhoughton , escapes from his humdrum life by retreating into a fantasy world of his own making , which he calls Ambrosia . Every person in Ambrosia looks like him . He has plenty of reasons for wanting to escape from reality ; his father ( Wilfrid Pickles ) is a bullying tyrant , his mother ( Mona Washbourne ) a right nag , and his grandmother ( Ethel Griffies ) , who lives with them , is senile . Billy's boss is the creepy Mr . Shadrach ( Leonard Rossiter ) , who organises funeral processions as though they were wartime bombing raids . Billy cannot open his mouth without uttering a lie . He is engaged to two girls ; the prissy ' Barbara ' ( Helen Fraser ) and loud Rita ( Gwendolyn Watts ) . They do not know of each other's existence , meaning he has to constantly ferry the engagement ring back and forth . The one bright spot in his life is Liz ( Julie Christie ) , a free-spirited young woman whom Billy is secretly mad for . The scene where she walks along swinging her handbag without a care in the world became an iconic moment of ' 60's British cinema . Believing he has landed a job writing gags for television comedian Danny Boon ( Leslie Randall ) , Billy hands in his notice . But his old life is not about to let him go so easily . . . One of the best British comedy films of the ' 60's ( and of all time ! ) , ' Billy Liar ' came out as the vogue for kitchen-sink dramas ( which included ' Saturday Night & Sunday Morning ' , ' A Taste Of Honey ' , and ' The Loneliness Of The Long-Distance Runner ' , the latter also starring Tom Courtenay ) was ending , and escapist entertainment ( such as the James Bond series ) making a comeback . It resembles a kitchen-sink drama for much of the time , but when we least expect it we are plunged into Billy's fantasy world . In the midst of having a shave in the kitchen , for instance , Billy suddenly turns into an armed soldier and wipes out his family . Then reality returns and the story continues as before . Moments such as that account for much of the humour , although it comes from other directions too , such as Billy and Arthur Crabtree ( future ' Likely Lad ' Rodney Bewes ) walking through the town centre and talking nonsense in broad Northern accents . ' Billy Liar ' started life as a book by Keith Waterhouse , became a play ( with Willis Hall's help ) , then a film , stage musical , and television sitcom . But its as a film which for me is its most enjoyable incarnation . Like John Schelesinger's previous movie ' A Kind Of Loving ' , it overflows with period interest . Godfrey Winn and ' Housewives ' Choice ' . Old buildings being demolished . The opening of a new supermarket . The Locarno dance hall . Milk machines ( I remember those ! ) . Old people shocked to find Pakistanis working on buses . From this film you get a strong sense of what the country was like in 1963 . Post-war Britain was coming to an end , and ' 60's Britain beginning to take shape . If all of this makes ' Billy Liar ' sound heavy-going , forget it . Its hilarious from start to finish . For instance , Billy's guilt at stealing money from his employers manifests itself in the form of a pseudo-crime movie with Billy as star , in which he goes to gaol and impresses the Governor by writing an expose of prison life entitled ' I Have Paid ! ' . I for one am glad that this film was made in black and white . Richard Rodney Bennett's music catches its mood perfectly . Tom Courtenay is the definitive ' Billy Fisher ' , a lying little swine ( as his dad refers to him ) but lovable . We the audience are his only friend , and are privileged to hear his innermost thoughts . His disappointment at getting the brush-off from Danny Boon is heartbreaking . You will cheer him on as he boards the train with Liz , intending to start a new life with her in London . Of course things do not go as expected and the finale is brilliant tragi-comedy . I won't bother to tell you how wonderful the supporting cast are . See for yourself . Leonard Rossiter does not get much to do but his performance as ' Mr . Shadrach ' is a little gem . He also appears in the film's funniest scene . I would not be so crass as to spoil it , but suffice to say it takes place in Shadrach's office , and involves a two-way radio . Watch it and weep with laughter . A film to watch over and over again . Oh , and the book's great too . |
401,489 | 7,743,887 | 793,395 | 10 | We'll bring you something nice back ! | Alf comes home from a hard day's work , expecting a hot dinner on the table . But he has a shock in store - there is nothing . Not so much as a sandwich . Else has decided to follow the miners by going on a three day week , meaning her husband gets no food . Alf cannot believe it . He tries to explain that the three day week was only brought about to punish the miners for going on strike a second time . His daughter and son-in-law don't seem particularly sympathetic to his plight , particularly Mike who is reading a book whilst laying on the sofa . As Alf pours out his heart to his family , it becomes clear he is the victim of a devious plot to get him to pay for a new fur coat for his wife . . . My favourite episode of ' Till Death Us Do Part ' , and the one that sums up the early ' 70's best . With the miners striking for the second time in three years , Prime Minister Ted Heath decided to economise on electricity by reducing the working week . It was the final nail in his political career , he was turfed out of office that same year . It was a stroke of genius on Johnny Speight's part to turn it into a script for ' Till Death ' . Alf's mounting anger is hilarious to watch , and Warren Mitchell manages to make you feel sorry for the bigot - particularly when he pleads with Rita for understanding of some of his more extreme views . But its Dandy Nichols ' episode . From the moment she gives Rita a sly glance as Alf comes home , she delivers a sublime comic performance , brilliantly manipulating her husband into doing what she wants . Unsurprisingly , it was screened as a tribute to the actress when she sadly passed on in 1985 . Funniest moment - Alf scattering salt on the dining table , and , picking up a knife , asks Else : " Well , where is it then ? My dinner ! " . " There ain't none ! " , she barks , " I'm on a three day week ! " . Classic stuff . |
401,029 | 7,743,887 | 516,890 | 10 | Has Steed gone mad ? | Steed prepares to leave for a well-deserved holiday . As he opens his front door , a man hits him in the face . We then see Steed doing the same thing all over again . Tara arrives and asks whether he enjoyed the holiday . Something is wrong . An examination of his car reveals it was recently in Europe , and he finds a photograph of himself with a beautiful young woman ( Kate O'Mara ) . Unable to account for two whole weeks in his life , he consults an eminent psychiatrist . All he can remember is the face of a Chinaman . Said face turns out to be the door knocker of a house in London , belonging to sinister hypnotist Kreer ( Roger Delgado ) . Steed's investigations are hampered by the fact that each time he makes progress , he wakes up back in his flat , with no memory of what had occurred earlier . With Mother away , it is up to Father ( Iris Russell ) to maintain the running of the Department ( only in ' The Avengers ' would ' Mother ' be a man and ' Father ' a woman - and a blind one at that ! ) . Father has no choice but to remove Steed from active duty . . . Poor Steed . Like Michael Palin in the ' Deja Vu ' sketch from ' Monty Python's Flying Circus ' he finds himself repeating the same actions over and over again . The villains - led by Duncan Lamont and Kate O'Mara - have an ulterior motive - they want to turn him into an assassination machine . Target ? Mother . Intriguing script from Tony Williamson and stylish ( as one would expect ) direction from Don Chaffey . This was the only appearance of ' Father ' in the series , very well played by Iris Russell , later to star ( as ' Mrs . Skinner ' ) in the children's sci-fi drama ' Timeslip ' . Pay careful attention to her dialogue - it is pretty naughty ! The character reappeared in the 1998 movie , played on that occasion by Fiona Shaw . ' Kreer ' is the late Roger Delgado , who menaced Jon Pertwee's ' Dr . Who ' two years later . Kate O'Mara gives Linda Thorson a run for her money in the beauty stakes . Episodes such as this prove that ' The Avengers ' was still punching its weight . |
401,420 | 7,743,887 | 267,207 | 10 | Dear B . B . C . . . | Often the simplest ideas for programmes are best , and ' Points Of View ' typifies this . Beginning in 1961 , it basically consisted of a ten minute show in which viewers ' letters were read out by actors ( such as Alec Bregonzi , Cass Allen , and Michael Maclaine ) , interspersed with witty comments from a presenter . When I saw it first , the front man was urbane Robert Robinson . He also appeared in the kids ' spin-off : ' Junior Points Of View ' , which was essential viewing if you were a ' Dr . Who ' fan , as many letters concerned the show . On the day before his first appearance as the Time Lord , Jon Pertwee gave an interview in which he specified how different his version would be from Patrick Troughton's . No actual clips were shown , of course . The B . B . C . were not fools in those days . Some of the letters were genuinely amusing . I remember complaints about Captain Kirk kissing girls each week on ' Star Trek ' , Dick Dastardly's repeated use of " Drat , Drat and Double Drat ! " on ' Wacky Races ' , and the Clangers ' penny-whistle voices . Over on the parent show , the sci-fi drama ' Doomwatch ' could be relied on to kick up a storm , particularly the ' Tomorrow , The Rat ' episode which climaxed with a graphic shot of a half-eaten corpse . ' Steptoe & Son ' returned that same year . You would think that viewers would be overjoyed , but a few grumbled that the sight of Harold distraught over the death of Hercules the horse was not funny . ' Till Death Us Do Part ' got into hot water with the ' Up The Hammers ! ' episode from 1972 . The scene where Rita ( Una Stubbs ) leaves a supermarket only to find baby Michael gone ( Alf had taken him to a football match ) was too harrowing for some . Such grievances can today be regarded with quizzical amusement , but at the time were genuine concerns . A lot of people felt , rightly or wrongly , that some things were unsuitable for television . A few comedy shows took the mickey out of ' View ' , such as ' Monty Python's Flying Circus ' and ' Spitting Image ' , but probably the best-remembered parody was on ' Not The Nine O'Clock News ' . By then , Barry Took had taken over , and was wonderfully impersonated by Griff Rhys Jones . " Fifty pounds for a television licence ! " , went one spoof letter . " Absolutely disgraceful ! Its far too low . I would be willing to sell my house to help the B . B . C . " . Took was an excellent presenter , witty and likable . When the Kate O'Mara nautical soap ' Triangle ' went on air , it provoked so much controversy an entire edition of ' View ' was given over to comments . The funniest suggested the ship on which the show was set should hit an iceberg Titanic-style , and then it could be renamed ' Wreck-tangle ' ( rectangle ) . The finale of ' Blake's 7 ' at the end of 1981 also got up the B . B . C . ' s nose . They got more letters over that than any series finale in television history . Took was eventually retired to make way for Anne Robinson . More recently , Jeremy Vine has sat in that famous chair . ' View ' is no longer as relevant as it once was . You can find programme criticism in almost any newspaper now , on Teletext , and on the internet . But it served a purpose in letting the public have its say , even if their complaints were then ignored by B . B . C . bosses . The shrinking of end credits into a small box while clips of the next programme play has outraged viewers for years , yet the practice continues still . I will let the last words go to a viewer who thought it a strange coincidence that audiences for snooker tournaments coughed continuously during matches when the events were sponsored by tobacco firms ( this was before the ban on tobacco advertising ) . He then went on to say : " Good thing it was not sponsored by Heinz Baked Beans ! " . |
401,054 | 7,743,887 | 57,076 | 10 | One Of The All-Time Bond Greats | Nowadays whenever a Bond film is trotted out on British television , the viewers ' usual response is ' oh god , not him again ! ' . It was very different in 1976 , the year ' From Russia With Love ' got its I . T . V . premiere . ' Dr . No ' debuted the year before to an audience of nearly twenty million . ' Bond ' on television in those days was an event akin to a Royal Wedding or the finale of ' Britain's Got Talent ' . Everyone watched . B . B . C . - 1 made no effort to complete - they ran John Huston's ' Moby Dick ' , starring Gregory Peck , for the umpteenth time . I had not seen the Connery Bonds before - my first taste of ' Bond ' on the big screen was ' Live & Let Die ' starring Roger Moore . ' Love ' begins with a nervous-looking Bond stalked through a garden at night , firing his Walther PPK at thin air . A blond man strangles him with a wire hidden in a wrist-watch . Lights snap on . Agents of S . P . E . C . T . R . E . ( the Special Executive for Counterintelligence , Terrorism , Revenge & Extortion ) appear . The killing has been carefully timed . The dead ' Bond ' is only a double . Psychopathic Red Grant ( Robert Shaw ) is specially selected for an important mission ; seething at the loss of their agent Dr . No , the organisation wants both to kill Bond and discredit the British Secret Service into the bargain . They use a beautiful young woman , Tatiana Romanova , by making it appear that she wishes to defect , bringing along a Russian cypher machine - the Lektor . She will only go if the agent sent to bring her back to London is James Bond . It is obviously a trap , but the chance of getting a Lektor is too good to pass up , so off Bond flies to Istanbul , taking with him a gadget-laden briefcase supplied by Q ( Desmond Llewelyn's first appearance in the role ) . This is a different Q to the stuffy , starchy character the world came to know and love . The film itself is quite different to its predecessor . Very Hitchockian , particularly the helicopter chase ( obviously inspired by the crop dusting plane scene in ' North By Northwest ' ) . Terence Young once again handles the directorial chores superbly , and gets first-rate support from editor Peter Hunt . As Bond , Connery is cool , elegant , sophisticated and slightly arrogant , you can see why even now his is still regarded as the definitive portrayal . The supporting cast are marvellous too , particularly Daniela Bianchi as ' Tatiana ' , Pedro Armendariz as ' Kerim Bey ' , Vladek Sheybal as ' Kronsteen ' , and Lotte Lenya as ' Rosa Klebb ' . S . P . E . C . T . R . E . boss ' Ernst Blofeld ' makes his debut , but is glimpsed rather than seen . The scene-stealer though is Robert Shaw as ' Red Grant ' . He looks as though he really could kill Bond . His fight with 007 aboard the Orient Express is still for my money the most impressively choreographed action sequence in the whole series . Having arranged Monty Norman's ' James Bond Theme ' for ' Dr . No ' , John Barry was promoted to composer , and turned in the first of several memorable scores . The title theme was by ' Oliver ! ' composer Lionel Bart , and sung by Matt Monro . Richard Maibaum's script is by and large faithful to Ian Fleming's book , with the addition of S . P . E . C . T . R . E . and a number of outdoor action scenes , including the speedboat finale . The structure is impressive ; the first part has the villains setting up the trap , the next sees Bond walking into it ( to obtain both the Lektor and the girl ) , and in the last he fights to stay alive as the jaws begin to close shut . When ' Love ' opened in 1963 , the world welcomed it with open arms , and Bond's future on the silver screen was assured . One year ago , ' Love ' secured the honour of becoming the first Eon Bond to be shown on the B . B . C . and how good it was to be able to watch one without all those annoying ad breaks , not to mention cuts . Alas I . T . V . continues to rape and pillage the 007 legacy ; most recently , the films were used as ' fillers ' on Saturday afternoons , a time usually reserved for children's movies and sports coverage . Bond deserves better . |
400,681 | 7,743,887 | 516,898 | 10 | Curiouser and curiouser . . . | One of ' The Avengers ' most endearing qualities was being able to take a cliché and turn it on its head . This episode opens with Earle ( Anthony Bate ) and Gardiner ( Kenneth Cope ) , ostensibly New Scotland Yard detectives , searching for clues at the scene of a murder , a chalk outline of the victim on the floor . The owner shows up and asks who has been murdered . " You ! " , says Earle , shooting him . The man then falls neatly into the outline provided for him ! Steed is contacted by Sir Arthur Doyle ( ' The Rag Trade''s Peter Jones ) , an eccentric sleuth dressed like Sherlock Holmes . Tara does not look as though she is going to be much help on this case , confined to a wheelchair as the result of a skiing accident . Earle and Gardiner are blackmailing the rich into handing over priceless works of art , anyone failing to comply gets framed for murder . The duo are masters in the art of fooling the police through planting clues at the scenes of crimes . As ' Avengers ' episodes go , this is almost credible . No robot men , time machines or invaders from space , and all the better for it . Philip Levene penned a similar story the previous season - ' You Have Just Been Murdered ' . Though Tara is stuck in a chair for most of the story , she comes into her own at the end in a superb finale as Earle and Gardiner invade her flat . Peter Jones is wonderfully daft ( though underused ) as ' Doyle ' , and the whole thing is executed with panache by Don Sharp . |
400,680 | 7,743,887 | 516,923 | 10 | Where Is Everybody ? | Jimmy Merlin ( Peter Barkworth ) is a master spy with no loyalty to either side - he simply works for whosoever pays best . When he breaks into a top secret research establishment and steals a quantity of sleep gas capsules , Steed and Tara lay in wait for him in a toy shop . Merlin uses one of the capsules to knock his enemies out , but Steed has locked the door , and he too succumbs to the effects of the gas . Steed awakens a day later - to find London strangely deserted and silent . Handcuffed to Merlin , he investigates . Martial Law has been declared and soldiers are gunning down anyone believed to be looting . An atom bomb has been found in an abandoned foreign embassy , hence the mass evacuation . In charge of the operation is Brigadier Hansing ( Joss Ackland ) . But all is not as it seems . Merlin recognises one of Hansing's soldiers as an enemy agent . . . Another regularly used idea in ' The Avengers ' was the ' where is everybody ? ' scenario . Steed and Mrs . Peel found themselves in a similar situation in ' The Hour That Never Was ' , while ' The New Avengers ' story ' Sleeper ' went one further by putting the population of London to sleep . The Brigadier's forces have emptied part of London not to dismantle an atom bomb , but to put one in ! Hansing is embittered at his impending redundancy from the army and is out to get revenge by extorting millions . Directed by John Hough ( who like Don Sharp was from the ' Hammer Horror ' school of film making ) , it boasts superb location filming , a strong script by Brian Clemens , and marvellous guest cast including Brian Blessed as ' Sgt . Hearn ' and Joss Ackland as ' Brig . Hansing ' . Stealing the show is the late Peter Barkworth ( did he ever give a bad performance ? ) as ' Merlin ' , a devious , cunning fox of a character , as charming as Steed himself . I loved his habit of conjuring playing cards at odd moments ! Pity he never returned . Poor Tara must have gotten a stronger whiff of the gas than everyone else as she spends most of the story asleep ! |
401,024 | 7,743,887 | 65,709 | 10 | Think Marty ! | The mid-to-late ' 60's saw a sea change in British film comedy , as it moved away from family entertainment and became more risqué . Television provided inspiration , with many films being either based on or inspired by popular shows . ' Every Home Should Have One ' grew out of the B . B . C . series ' Marty ' , and although made in 1970 is very much a ' 60's piece . Feldman proved here he had the talent to carry a film , supported by a first-rate cast including Judy Cornwell , Dinsdale Landen , and Penelope Keith . Alan Bennett puts in an uncredited cameo as a befuddled barrister . The film lampoons the glossy but shallow world of advertising , but also takes pot-shots at moralising politicians , clean-up television campaigners , and the permissive society in general . Particularly funny are Marty's outlandish dream sequences . Richard Williams provides some superb animations ( he also did the early ' Pink Panther ' film credits ) . Look upon this as a superior sort of ' Carry On ' and you'll enjoy it enormously . |
400,759 | 7,743,887 | 287,858 | 10 | Law And Disorder | Not to be confused with Granada's 2002 series ' The Jury ' , this interesting drama series centred on the rape trial of a retarded man - Donald Fleming . The first twelve episodes focused on the everyday lives of the jurors , people drawn from all walks of life ( two were having a steamy affair - construction firm site manager Steve Jackson and academic Elisabeth Robbins - hence their episodes were combined . The affair did not last , much to Steve's bewilderment ) , amongst them jack-the-lad builder Mick Thompson , single mother Mary Matthews , would-be athlete Christine Cywinska , and housewife Ann Coombs , the latter having been raped herself years before , a fact she struggles to conceal from the others . The quality of the stories varied , a few veered off into soap opera , but any shortcomings were more than compensated for with the superb final episode . In true ' Twelve Angry Men ' fashion , it had the jury gridlocked over the verdict . Powerful acting from Gabrielle Lloyd and William Gaunt . Critics grumbled , at least one described it as ' the longest rape trial in history ' , but it was riveting stuff for the most part . Theme music by Sonny Rollins . |
400,688 | 7,743,887 | 516,930 | 10 | Beware WormDoom Ltd ! | Its time to speak up for one of the most underrated series in British television history - the final season of ' The Avengers ' , which featured the lovely Linda Thorson as ' Tara King ' . Chroniclers of the show's history favour Diana Rigg's stint as ' Mrs . Emma Peel ' over all others ( though recently revisionism has taken place , with some bemoaning the move into colour as a grave mistake ! ) . Poor Linda is seen by many as the reason for the show's cancellation . This is unfair . It was killed by bad scheduling ( pitted against the behemoth of ' Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In ' ) rather than the quality of the scripts or performances of the leads . The fact is that ' Mrs . Peel ' was a carbon-copy of her predecessor ( Honor Blackman's ' Cathy Gale ' ) , right down to the leather cat-suit . Rigg put her own spin on the character , admittedly . Tara , on the other hand , came as a breath of fresh air because she was young and inexperienced . Had another season been made , I am sure that her reputation would have grown ( the 1998 movie paid sly tribute to her with the character of ' Tamara ' , portrayed by Keeley Hawes ) . ' The Rotters ' was the only ' Avengers ' episode to be written by Dave Freeman , a comedy writer who worked on the ' Carry On ' series and sitcoms such as ' Bless This House ' . Experts on dry rot are being murdered by a pair of flat-cap wearing assassins from ' WormDoom Ltd . ' , named ' George ' ( Jerome Willis ) and ' Kenneth ' ( Gerald Sim - later to play the ' Rector ' in ' To The Manor Born ' ) . They have at their disposal a chemical capable of destroying wood instantly , and plan to unleash its spores from fake pillar boxes all over England unless their demands are met . As you can guess from that little outline , reality does not get a look-in here . Where else but ' The Avengers ' would anyone think of using dry rot as a weapon ? It is a cheeky little caper , full of the wit and charm one would expect of the series . ' George ' and ' Kenneth ' are a wonderful pair of killers - dreadful snobs and proud of it . When Kenneth callously shoots a butler , he sighs : " I do so hate the working classes ! " . Watch out for Eric Barker as ' Pym ' , a batty wood decay specialist who Steed tracks down ( appropriately ) in a belfry ! Like all the Thorson episodes , ' The Rotters ' is rattling good fun . Directed by the talented Robert Fuest , later to make the glorious ' Dr . Phibes ' movies with Vincent Price ( now why did Mad Vince never appear in ' The Avengers ' ? ) |
401,351 | 7,743,887 | 64,757 | 10 | May all your allergies be swiftly cured ! | ' On Her Majesty's Secret Service ' was a welcome change of pace for Bond following the gadget-laden ' You Only Live Twice ' . Most of the Bond knock-offs ( Matt Helm , Flint , U . N . C . L . E . ) had packed up and gone , leaving 007 as the sole survivor of the ' 60's spy boom . First-time director Peter Hunt had the best book of the series to work with , and wisely stuck to it , hence the film is the most faithful of the Fleming adaptations . Lazenby's performance has been the subject of much controversy over the years ; whilst lacking Connery's experience , he acquits himself impressively . His ' human ' Bond is perfect for this particular story ; Connery's Bond would have jarred with the realistic , darker tone of ' Service ' . Diana Rigg is brilliant as ' Tracy ' , the ex-wild child who eventually captures Bond's heart . The late Telly Savalas made a more believable ' Blofeld ' than Donald Pleasance , whom I found too hammy . The action scenes are perhaps the best ever seen in a Bond movie ; the pre-credit fight on the beach gets the picture off to a flying start , while the ski chase and bobsleigh finale are simply magnificent . Great cinematography from Michael Reed . John Barry outdoes all his other Bond scores here ; ' We Have All The Time In The World ' is a knockout . Hunt's decision to retain the book's downbeat ending ( Bond finds love , only to have it snatched from his grasp ) was also a contributory factor in its success . Despite the critical panning it got at the time , the reputation of ' Service ' has grown over the years , to such an extent that many include it on their list of all-time great Bond movies . I would go further . In my view , its the best Bond ever made . |
401,297 | 7,743,887 | 62,574 | 10 | Creepy Fun From Hammer | Not to be confused with the B . B . C . ' s ' Out Of The Unknown ' , this was Hammer's first - and best - attempt at a television anthology series . The eerie title sequence featured a silhouette creeping into a deserted fairground late at night , which suddenly lit up , an effect as startling as it was memorable . The whistling theme tune was by Harry Robinson . The series itself played like a British ' Twilight Zone ' ; in ' Eve ' Dennis Waterman plays a nerd who falls in love with a shop window dummy , ' Paper Dolls ' concerns identical boys linked by a psychic bond , ' Somewhere In A Crowd ' has David Hedison noticing the same five people present at major disasters , and in ' The Madison Equation ' a computer is used in a murder plot . It was unnerving rather than scary . Because it was funded by 20th Century Fox , each episode had to have an American guest-star , but this enhanced the show rather than detracted from it . There were some notable British performers involved too , such as Edward Fox , Allan Cuthbertson , Michael Gough , and Roddy McDowall . Only seventeen episodes were made , yet ' Journey ' continued to crop up irregularly on late-night British T . V . well into the ' 80's . |
401,640 | 7,743,887 | 167,701 | 10 | Not All Remakes Are Lousy | In the autumn of 1991 , B . B . C-2 enjoyed surprising success with repeats of Gerry Anderson's ' Thunderbirds ' . They followed this up with ' Stingray ' and ' The Man From U . N . C . L . E . ' , as well as several shows from the I . T . C . stable , including ' U . F . O . ' , ' The Champions ' and ' Randall & Hopkirk ( Deceased ) . It was to tap into this vogue for retro action telly that inspired ' Fast Show ' creator Charlie Higson to revive the latter . He made several changes , such as turning Jeannie into Marty's girlfriend instead of his wife , and giving a ghostly world for Hopkirk to inhabit , presided over by the all-wise spirit mentor ' Wyvern ' ( Tom Baker ) . When I heard that Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer ( not my favourite comedians , I'm afraid ) had been cast as the leads , my blood ran cold . To make matters worse , they had ( so I felt ) been given the wrong roles - Reeves would have made a superb ' Jeff ' , while Mortimer should have been ' Marty ' . I was not really looking forward to the show . But I changed my mind after viewing the first episode . ' Drop Dead ' was loosely based on ' My Late Lamented Friend & Partner ' , but had more humour . Vic and Bob were better than expected , though not really actors as such . The gorgeous Emilia Fox more than made up for their shortcomings . She set the television alight as ' Jeannie ' . Guest-stars in the series included Sir Derek Jacobi , Charles Dance , Gareth Thomas , David Tennant , Hugh Laurie , and Jessica Stevenson . Thanks to the miracle of modern technology , the late Mike Pratt made a cameo in one episode ! I think what Higson really wanted to do was to essentially remake ' The Avengers ' . It explains why his version of ' Randall & Hopkirk ( Deceased ) has the the same quirky surrealism as Steed and Mrs . Peel's adventures combined with a solid dose of supernatural fantasy . After an excellent first series , ' R & H ( Dec ) returned a year later , but the stories were slightly less amusing and inventive . Viewers lost interest and it was regrettably cancelled . However , it can now be seen as having paved the way for Russell T . Davies ' successful 2005 revival of ' Dr . Who ' . |
401,208 | 7,743,887 | 62,583 | 10 | You crazy idiots . . . the name's McGill ! | When Patrick McGoohan abruptly left ' Danger Man ' in 1966 , the entire production team split in half - David Tomblin , George Markstein , and Don Chaffey followed him to Portmeirion to create the bizarre cult classic ' The Prisoner ' , while Sidney Cole , Barry Delmaine and John Glen set up a new show . Originally titled ' McGill ' , it was created by Dennis Spooner and Richard Harris , neither of whom had any further involvement . ' Man In A Suitcase ' was an unusual series from the I . T . C . stable , insofar that it had a hero who wasn't respected or admired , simply misunderstood . McGill had been a top U . S . agent who'd been sacked for his part in a spy scandal for which he was blameless , and had become a private eye based in London and Europe . Richard Bradford made ' McGill ' harder than the heroes generally found on television at that time ( he chain smoked for one thing ) while the scripts were of a high standard , particularly ' The Whisper ' , ' Variation On A Million Bucks ' , ' Dead Man's Shoes ' , ' Day Of Execution ' , and ' Web With Four Spiders ' . The guest-stars included John Gregson , Colin Blakely ( twice ) , Edward Fox , Simon Williams , Rodney Bewes , Stuart Damon , Judy Geeson , Jacqueline Pearce , Patrick Cargill and Darren Nesbitt . It is rumoured that some scripts were left overs from ' Danger Man ' . ' The Boston Square ' and ' Night Flight To Andorra ' look as though they could have fitted into that series , while ' The Bridge ' is more like an episode of A . B . C . ' s ' The Human Jungle ' . ' Jigsaw Man ' was the only ' Suitcase ' adventure to play for laughs . Unlike the bloodless fights seen in ' The Saint ' , ' Suitcase ' actually showed McGill getting hurt and , in a couple of instances , beaten senseless . By depicting the world of espionage in a realistic light , the show was slightly ahead of its time . It was a ' 70's show made in the ' 60's . Ron Grainer's theme tune is one of his best too ! Of all the I . T . C . action shows made in the mid-to-late ' 60's , ' Man In a Suitcase ' was the most deserving of a second series . |
401,368 | 7,743,887 | 56,960 | 10 | This Never Happened To James Bond ! | Charlie Drake's previous films - ' Petticoat Pirates ' ( 1960 ) and ' Sands Of The Desert ' ( 1961 ) failed to set the world on fire , but with ' The Cracksman ' he came up with a little beauty . He plays master locksmith Ernest Wright , who becomes the unwitting dupe in a series of robberies . As you'd expect from a Charlie Drake comedy , there's plenty of slapstick , but also an unexpected element of pathos - when Wright gets out of prison and his former friends shun him , its a genuinely moving moment . The gang's plan is a little unbelievable ; they seem prepared to wait years for Ernest to acquire a criminal record , but its done so well you don't really care . George Sanders is his usual smooth self as the gang's leader , while Nyree Dawn Porter shows a real flair for comedy . In addition , the script manages to squeeze in parodies of ' Dr . No ' and ' Birdman Of Alcatraz ' . The prison scene features Ronnie Barker as a prototype ' Norman Stanley Fletcher ' . A cracker of a comedy ! |
400,685 | 7,743,887 | 50,985 | 10 | Sellers Behind A Projector ! | Some films can be summed up in a single word . The one that best describes this is ' delightful ' . There I've said it . Anything else is superfluous . Written by William Rose ( author of ' Genevieve ' and ' The Ladykillers ' amongst other classics ) and directed by Basil Dearden , it begins with a young couple - the Spensers ( Bill Travers and Virginia McKenna ) - who learn they have inherited a cinema in Sloughborough in the north of England . They assume they must be getting ' The Grand ' ( it is the only cinema in the town ) , but no , theirs is the ' Bijou ' , known by locals as the ' fleapit ' . It is situated near a railway station so whenever trains fly past the building shakes as though an earthquake has hit it . The Grand's owner - tycoon Albert Hardcastle ( Francis De Wolff ) - wants the Bijou so he can knock it down and build a car park , but when he offers a paltry sum of money , the Spensers - acting on the advice of solicitor Robin Carter ( Leslie Phillips ) - re-open the place , re-hiring the original staff . A decrepit bunch they are too - Mrs . Fazackalee the cashier ( Margaret Rutherford ) Quill the alcoholic projectionist ( Peter Sellers ) and Old Tom the janitor / doorman ( Bernard Miles ) . The cinema re-opens and , after a few difficulties , proves a great success . Hardcastle is unhappy about there being a rival on his doorstep so sets about clipping the Spensers ' wings . . . ' Smallest ' is in the grand tradition of those lovely old British comedies in which people set about renovating something old and long forgotten and against all the odds succeed . In the Will Hay classic ' Oh Mr . Porter ! ' it was a railway station , here its a cinema . As ' Quill ' , Sellers is sublime , effectively re-using his ' William ' Mate ' Cobblers ' voice ( " You can't get the wood , you know ! " ) from ' The Goon Show . Real life husband-and-wife Bill Travers and Virginia McKenna are good as the ' Spensers ' , and did a number of films together , most notably ' Born Free ' . Margaret Rutherford's delightfully dotty ' Mrs . Fazackalee ' anticipated her later - and more famous - role as ' Miss Marple ' . Where the film also works is as a tribute to the golden age of cinema , in particular the Bijou's staff tearfully watching an old silent film ( while Mrs . Fazackalee plays the organ ) . Sid James is fleetingly seen as the father of the ice cream girl Marlene . She has got herself pregnant and he is not happy about the situation . Funniest moment ? When the Bijou shows a searing drama set in the desert , Old Tom adds to the viewing experience by turning up the heat . Hence the audience is just as parched as the poor guy in the movie . As soon as the interval arrives , there is a mad dash for refreshments ! |
401,609 | 7,743,887 | 98,781 | 10 | I'm Not Here ! | Channel 4's ' Drop The Dead Donkey ' was a classic sitcom set in an office that managed to be funny without any assistance whatever from Ricky Gervais . It centred around the day-to-day goings on at ' GlobeLink ' , a television news station owned by the mysterious Sir Roysten Merchent . Staff fears that the news will be dumbed down are confirmed when Sir Royston hires as its new anchorwoman the pretty but vacuous Sally Smedley . Immediately she clashes with veteran anchorman Henry Davenport , who calls her " Tightarse " . Then there's the appalling Gus Hedges , fluent in two languages - English and rubbish . " Let me drop some descaler into your think-tank . " is one of his many favourite sayings . And Joy Merryweather , a woman so bad-tempered as to be borderline psychotic . The show won plaudits at the time for being recorded close to transmission , so as to enable the writers to be topical in their humour . Unfortunately , this has resulted in the show now looking dated . ' Drop ' had the good fortune to be running during the dark days of the last Conservative administration , when John Major was in Downing Strret . The endless procession of political mistakes , cash and sex scandals were a godsend to Hamilton and Jenkin . One episode cast Stephen Moore as a thinly-disguised Steve Norris . However , the final series went out after Tony Blair's 1997 election win , and came across as strangely muted . ' GlobeLink ' was finally closed down to make way for a home shopping channel . A mercy killing . ' Drop ' was immeasurably funnier than ' The Office ' , and why it is not as well regarded is a mystery . |
401,136 | 7,743,887 | 62,551 | 10 | One Of The Best I . T . C . Shows | Monty Berman and Dennis Spooner followed up ' The Baron ' with this , a fantasy series about three superhuman spies which preempted ' The Six Million Dollar Man ' . It was a favourite of mine when I was a youngster , and I enjoy watching it still . Stuart Damon and William Gaunt had an unmistakable on-screen chemistry as Craig Stirling and Richard Barrett , while the luscious Alexandra Bastedo pouted her way through her role as Sharron Macready . The late Anthony Nicholls made a wonderfully gruff Tremayne . By far the best episodes were those written by Tony Williamson , Terry Nation and Brian Clemens , while Spooner's own ' The Interrogation ' compared favourably with ' The Prisoner ' . I regret that there was never a second series ; the concept had so much life left in it . Would Craig and Richard have been competitors for Sharron's affections ? What if Tremayne had learned of the Champions ' powers ? Did the Champions have any other abilities other than those we saw ? We never found out , alas . |
401,397 | 7,743,887 | 62,552 | 10 | You Stupid Boy ! | I won't bother describing ' Dad's Army ' in detail as its been covered extensively elsewhere . Quite simply , its one of the best comedy series ever made . Arthur Lowe and John Le Mesurier headed a stellar cast of comedy actors which included Clive Dunn , James Beck , Ian Lavender , John Laurie ( my favourite ) , Arnold Ridley , Janet Davies , Edward Sinclair and Pamela Cundell . Not forgetting the marvellous Bill Pertwee as ' A . R . P . Hodges ' , Back in the ' 60's / ' 70's , ' Dad's Army ' was watched by two different audiences for two different reasons - older viewers found it unbearably nostalgic , with its slightly rose-tinted ( though not inaccurate ) view of wartime England , whilst younger viewers ( of whom I was one ) simply loved it for its occasional forays into slapstick comedy . The show was created and written by Jimmy Perry and David Croft . Perry had served in The Home Guard ( he was the role model for ' Pike ' ) so he was able to bring much authenticity to the scripts . He later cited the classic Will Hay film ' Oh Mr . Porter ' ( pompous man , old man , stupid boy ) as a major source of inspiration , and its easy to see what he meant . The fine cast were ably served by the hilariously funny scripts . Probably the best remembered episode is ' The Deadly Attachment ' in which Philip Madoc played the captain of a captured U-Boat crew , if only for the legendary ' Don't Tell Him , Pike ! ' scene . My personal favourite , however , was ' Battle Of The Giants ' . After James Beck tragically died mid-way through the series , they brought in Talfryn Thomas as reporter ' Mr . Cheeseman ' . Personally , I liked him , but it was felt he added nothing to the show and so he was dropped . Its testament to the quality of ' Dad's Army ' that its still being repeated forty years later . Contrary to myth , the show's fans are not all old age pensioners . I wasn't alive when the Second World War happened , but I love the show because I know great comedy when I see it . |
401,102 | 7,743,887 | 552,332 | 10 | Ye're not going to get my gold ! | Alone one evening in his undertaker's parlour , Frazer gleefully counts his magnificent collection of gold sovereigns . Their existence is a secret to everyone in the world but himself . An unexpected visitor - Dr . McCeavedy - upsets the box , scattering the coins all over the floor . Frazer's secret is out . Suddenly he finds himself the centre of attention in Walmington . Everyone wants the gold for different reasons . The vicar wishes Frazer would offer to help pay for church repairs . Mainwaring wants Frazer to use the coins to buy an annuity , on which he himself will receive commission . Desperate to get the lot of them off his back , the wily Frazer devises a clever plan . . . ' The Miser's Hoard ' was one of the last ' Dad's Army ' episodes to be made , and if nothing else proves that the show was still punching its weight . John Laurie is in good form , the scene where he warns Mainwaring to keep away from his money earns him a well-deserved round of applause . Another great Scottish actor - Fulton Mackay from ' Porridge ' - appears , in the role of ' Dr . McCeavedy ' . If it strikes you as odd that someone should prefer to keep their money in their own home , where it can easily be stolen , rather than place it in the safety of a bank vault , let me just point out that it was not uncommon for elderly people to do this , and not just in the 1940's either . When my grandmother passed on in 1977 , she left behind a total of £1000 in used notes at the back of her wardrobe . Quite a lot of old people simply do not trust banks , particularly foreign-owned ones . Coupled with Fraser's distrust of banks is a natural dislike of Mainwaring himself . Funniest moment - Mainwaring opening Frazer's treasure box , and finding nothing but a brick inside . " Yon vicar can have that for the church ! " , says Frazer , with contempt . Great episode . |
400,824 | 7,743,887 | 247,855 | 10 | Dear Michael . . . | Before the V . C . R . revolution of the late ' 70's , if you wished to see a particular moment from your favourite B . B . C . programme again you did one of two things : a ) waited for a repeat or b ) wrote to Michael Aspel . ' Ask Aspel ' was a children's programme in which viewers could watch specially requested clips , most predictably were from children's shows , though adult material crept in from time to time , such as ' Monty Python's Flying Circus ' ( minus the naughty bits ) . Other series included ' The Goodies ' ( almost every edition of ' Ask Aspel ' featured a ' Goodies ' clip it seemed ) , ' Blue Peter Special Assignment ' , ' The Morecambe & Wise Show ' , ' Dr . Who ' , and ' Top Of The Pops ' . The show came in handy when power cuts were commonplace in Britain because of the Miners ' Strike . I used to follow a Sunday afternoon serial called ' The Moonstone ' ( based on the book by Wilkie Collins ) and was enjoying it when . during the final instalment , off went the power . Thankfully , a week later Aspel showed us how it had ended . Jimmy Tarbuck did a send-up of ' Ask Aspel ' on his show , which he called ' Tell Tarby ' ! Each edition had a special studio guest , such as John Cleese , Michael Palin , Kate Bush , Peter Cushing , and Sir Roger Moore . There was no audience , meaning we got none of the shouting and bawling that is sadly a feature of contemporary children's television . Aspel himself made an affable host ; his interviews were sensibly conducted , and not once did he attempt to poke fun at the guests . The show proved popular enough to run throughout the ' 70's , finally ending in 1981 . With V . C . R . ' s removing the need for programmes such as this , its time had finally come . However , the B . B . C . modified the format a year or so later , relaunching it as ' Take Two ' , hosted initially by Lucie Skeaping and then Josephine Buchan and Philip Schofield . In addition to the clips , ' Take Two ' asked schoolchildren for their views on programmes . One week the programme under discussion was ' Take Two ' itself . A boy with a long memory branded it a rip-off of ' Ask Aspel ' ! Aspel himself got his own chat show for L . W . T . - ' Aspel & Co ' - and later , ' This Is Your Life ' and ' The Antiques Roadshow ' . It does seem a pity that a presenter of his calibre would most probably not be allowed anywhere near children's television now . ' Ask Aspel ' is fondly remembered by a generation of forty-somethings ( me included ) . Sadly many editions have been wiped , another shameful act of vandalism on the part of the B . B . C . |
401,129 | 7,743,887 | 69,656 | 10 | Will The Real Whodunnit Please Stand Up ? | ' Callan ' star Edward Woodward was the original presenter of this light-hearted panel game for Thames Television . However , Jon Pertwee inherited it following his retirement from ' Dr . Who ' in 1974 ( " Welcome to Whodunnit ! " , he said , in the first show he did , " Or if you like ' Dr . Whodunnit ' ! " ) , and it is he who is best remembered as host . His relaxed , urbane manner made him particularly suited to the job . Each week , a dramatised murder would be shown ( the title then burst onto the screen , accompanied by a nerve jangling theme tune , which included the sound of a gunshot ) , and an invited panel of celebrities ( whose number included Wendy Craig , Terry Scott , Arthur Mullard , Lindsay Wagner , George Savalas , Jimmy Jewel , Norman Bowler and Jack Smethurst ) had to question the suspects , and from the answers deduce the identity of the killer . Tough guy actor Patrick Mower seemed particularly adept at this ; perhaps he should have become a real-life sleuth ! Lance Percival ( who co-wrote the mystery segments with Jeremy Lloyd ) cropped up occasionally as a bumbling ' Clouseau'-style French detective . Two of Pertwee's ' Dr . Who ' co-stars - namely Nicholas ' Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart ' Courtney ( he had a particularly bizarre exit - poisoned by a dart placed in one of his dancing shoes ! ) and Katy ' Jo Grant ' Manning - made one-off appearances . ' Whodunnit ' went out in the old ' Opportunity Knocks ' slot of 6 . 45 on Monday evenings . Some of the murders were surprisingly well-plotted ; you had to be observant to spot the clues . One episode ended with the surprising revelation ( which none of the panel guessed ) that no actual murder had taken place . The victim had committed suicide , but made his death appear like murder . As Pertwee asked the killer to identify himself , a door opened in the wings , and out walked the ghost of the corpse ! A bizarre televisual moment to be sure , but then ' Whodunnit ' was full of them . Another murder took place on a space station . Putting his tongue in his cheek , Pertwee remarked : " In case you think , you've seen me here before , you haven't . I never visited this place on my travels ! " . Yes , it was played for laughs , but was tremendous fun . I . T . V . made a similar series in the ' 90's - ' Cluedo ' , hosted by Chris Tarrant - but it managed to be nowhere near as good . L . W . T . ' s ' End Of Part One ' did a funny parody in which the host ( Fred Harris as Jon Pertwee ) was murdered during the opening moments of the show , leading to other hosts ( also playing Pertwee ) taking over . |
401,348 | 7,743,887 | 76,752 | 10 | A British spy in love with a Russian ? Detente indeed ! ! | Welcome to the most successful film on release in Britain in 1977 . Over in the U . S . A . , ' Star Wars ' was breaking box-office records , but would not be seen here until the end of the year . The new Bond therefore had the summer blockbuster field all to its itself . Following the disappointing ' The Man With The Golden Gun ' in 1974 , something drastic was needed to save the franchise . Cubby Broccoli , now sole producer of the series following Harry Saltzman's departure , made ' Spy ' a throwback to the ' 60's Bond blockbusters such as ' You Only Live Twice ' and ' Thunderball ' . Various writers worked on scripts , amongst them Anthony Burgess and John Landis , until Christopher Wood ( of the ' Confessions ' series ) came up with a workable screenplay . This was the first Bond to boast an entirely original storyline , not based on anything written by Ian Fleming . The novel of the same name was rightly deemed unfilmable . Wood later adapted the script into a novel which , in my view , was better than any of the John Gardner / Raymond Benson works . ' Spy ' opens with a British submarine disappearing at sea . Bond is sent for and , in an exciting ski chase , is pursued by gun-toting Russians , among them one Sergei Borzov ( Michael Billington ) . Bond kills Sergei and makes a spectacular getaway by skiing off the edge of a precipice . This opening was cheered by audiences worldwide . Someone has developed a means of tracking submarines . The Russians have lost one too . Bond goes to Egypt to make contact with Fekkesh , who represents someone wishing to sell the blueprints . Bond is not alone in his quest . An impossibly tall and strong henchman with steel teeth , who goes by the name of ' Jaws ' , has orders to kill everyone who comes into contact with the microfilm . Bond meets his opposite number - a highly desirable agent called Major Anya Amasova ( Barbara Bach ) , codenamed ' Triple-X ' . They decide to join forces to recover the microfilm . . . With this film , the public finally warmed to Roger Moore as 007 , and the renewed interest in the character thanks to the films being shown on television , put Bond back on the celluloid map . Ken Adam returned to produce some of his finest sets , most notably the interior of the Liparus supertanker . A special sound stage , the biggest in the world , had to be constructed at Pinewood . Curt Jurgens was the best Bond villain in years as ' Stromberg ' . Many will tell you he was ' miscast ' , but don't believe them . Barbara Bach made a suitably liberated Russian agent , while Richard Kiel stole the show as the sinister ' Jaws ' . He returned in the next Bond - ' Moonraker ' . Marvin Hamlisch's music has some of John Barry's style , but adds a more modern sound , most notably with ' Bond 77 ' . Lewis Gilbert , whose last Bond was ' You Only Live Twice ' in 1967 , was brought back to direct , and once again did a highly professional job , orchestrating the various elements with great panache . Instead of a mini-helicopter , Bond was given a Lotus Esprit which could turn into a submarine . A boy became the envy of the country when he got to travel in the car as part of a ' Jim'll Fix It ' show that year . The Open University did a fascinating series covering the making of ' Spy ' , which to my knowledge has not been seen anywhere in years . It is a pity as it covered every stage of production including music and editing . Before it turned up on I . T . V in 1981 , I saw ' Spy ' a total of three times in a movie theatre , and thoroughly enjoyed it each time . Even Alan Partridge ( Steve Coogan ) described it as ' the best movie ever made ' . By saying that , he was , to quote Bond ; " keeping the British end up ! " . |
401,042 | 7,743,887 | 76,759 | 10 | A Long , Long Wait For A Movie Far , Far Away | This is not a review of the first ( and best ) ' Star Wars ' movie . I take it , fellow I . M . D . B . users , that you are already familiar with the plot , characters and production history , and how its success changed the face of cinema overnight . So rather than rehash all the known facts , I want instead to recount a personal memory . I first learnt of ' Star Wars ' thanks to Granada's ' The Krypton Factor ' , a long-running game show designed to test contestants ' intelligence , physical fitness , powers of observation and so on . I liked the latter round as it often gave one a chance to see a sneak preview of a new movie . One week , they ran a clip of Han Solo , Luke Skywalker , R2D2 and C2PO escaping The Death Star in The Millennium Falcon , and being shot at by pursuing T . I . E . fighters . I fell off my chair . What was this ? 1970's sci-fi movies were mostly depressing affairs , now here was something fast , colourful , and lively , with lasers zapping about outer space and explosions . Right up my street . I had to see it . But the film was not yet on release here . There was no Internet then so I got my movie information from the local paper . I kept checking for news of an impending screening at my local cinema , but no - there was nothing . I began to wonder if the movie actually existed or not . Had Granada pulled off the greatest hoax of all time ? I read the Sphere book voraciously until I knew the story backwards . I played the Meco disco single at every opportunity . When Marvel's comic adaptation went on sale , I was almost thrown out of the newsagent for jumping up and down for sheer joy . At my school , ' Star Wars ' was a dirty word to sci-fi fans , mainly because it was not ' Close Encounters ' . The Spielberg picture was regarded as ' adult ' and ' intelligent ' , while the Lucas movie was deemed ' kiddie stuff ' starring weirdos in fancy dress running around with a bloke dressed as a big teddy bear . The wait dragged on and on . In an episode of ' Coronation Street ' , Gail ( Helen Worth ) asked her then-boyfriend , Steve Fisher : " When's ' Star Wars ' coming round here ? " to which he replied : " It'll be some time I expect . " . His words encapsulated the sheer frustration and impatience felt by all us U . K . fans . The highest grossing film of all time and we can't see it ? What is the hold up ? Are they reshooting bits for the benefit of British audiences ? Peter Cushing and Alec Guinness are in it so this cannot be right . In desperation , I told a blatant lie to my best friend . " I have seen ' Star Wars ' " , I proclaimed . He looked about as shocked as if I'd said I'd spent the night with Carrie Fisher . I claimed that my uncle Eric worked for Twentieth Century-Fox ( another lie . He drove taxi cabs for a living ) as an assistant editor and George Lucas had been so impressed with his work on the film , he had generously given him a print . To back up my claim , I reeled off a long list of plot details and scene descriptions . I got a few things wrong , such as Jabba The Hut and Biggs Darklighter , both of whom were excised from the final cut . But by the time my friend saw the film he had forgotten these . He did beg me to ask my uncle to run the film specially for him on Sunday afternoon , but I deflected this by stating that Uncle Eric's projector had broken down . He never asked again . Being about fifteen , I was too old for the toys , hence on Christmas Day 1977 I was denied the pleasure of restaging the assault on The Death Star in my garden shed , with the aid of elastic bands , old Subbuteo figures and the John Williams soundtrack thumping out of my Hitachi tape recorder . After what felt like an eternity , the movie finally opened here and suddenly it became fashionable to denounce it as ' overrated ' . ' It was childish when they were playing trumpets in the Cantina ' was my best friend's verdict . That was all he had to say on the subject ( he would have made a great film critic ! ) . Many people felt that the film had not been worth the six month wait . I was one of the few to speak in its defence . I was glad that sci-fi movies were fun again , following years of pictures in which bleak futures were predicted for Mankind , such as the ' Planet Of The Apes ' series . Nobody left the theatre with a spring in their step after seeing Milo The Baby Chimp's parents brutally murdered by the U . S . Government . ' Star Wars ' spawned two sequels , neither as good , and inspired the likes of ' Alien ' , ' The Black Hole ' , ' Star Trek : The Motion Picture ' and countless others . Without Lucas , these would simply not have been made . I am not a big fan of the prequels that began with ' The Phantom Menace ' , but then I'm not young anymore , so can't enjoy that kind of movie in the same way . ' Star Wars ' brought ' A New Hope ' to those of us wanting old fashioned escapism on the Silver Screen again . I envy kids today for not having to wait until winter for the latest summer blockbuster . |
401,493 | 7,743,887 | 62,861 | 10 | Deep , deep down ! | On its release , Mario Bava's ' Danger : Diabolik ' was likened by critics to the ' Batman ' television series , and branded as ' campy ' . In reality , though , the two have little in common , other than both being based on comic-strips and sharing a penchant for exuberant outrageousness . ' Diabolik ' is the brilliant criminal mastermind behind the most audacious thefts in history , accomplished with the aid of amazing Bondesque gadgetry , as well as speedboats and sports cars ! The film's plot is divided into three sections ; in the first , Diabolik steals $10 million from the government , the second has him going after a priceless pearl necklace to give to his lover Eva ( the stunning Marisa Mell ) , while the third focuses on the theft of a gold ingot , and boasts some ' Thunderball'-style underwater sequences . Each step of the way , the super-crook is shadowed by the clever ( though not clever enough ) Inspector Ginko ( great name ! ) . Its interesting to view this movie now in the light of the successful Marvel Comics movie adaptations , such as the ' X-Men ' and ' Spider-Man ' trilogies . How different times were then . For one thing , there's no back story for the main character . We never find out who ' Diabolik ' is or how he got into crime , and it doesn't matter . As soon as the film gets underway , we are pitched headlong into the action . Bava apparently used the original comic strips as reference when composing shots , making the film into a living cartoon , and that's no bad thing . While hardly the world's greatest thespian , John Philip Law is perfect for the role of ' Diabolik ' - cool , handsome , and energetic . He's so likable that at times you forget he's the villain ! As ' Eva ' , the late Marisa Mell effectively secured herself a place in the affections of cult movie buffs the world over . Adolfo Celi , who plays gangster Ralph Valmont , more or less reprises his role as ' Largo ' from the Bond classic ' Thunderball ' , but again that's no bad thing . Dear old Terry-Thomas pops up now and then as a befuddled ' Minister Of Finance ' . The eye-catching sets are impressive even by today's standards , particularly Diabolik's underground lair . Who would not want to live in a place like that ? Here we get what must be the screen's kinkiest love scene , as Diabolik and Eva make out on a circular bed covered with the money they have stolen . If nothing else , it gives a new meaning to the phrase ' a big bang for your buck ' ! Unsurprisingly , this stylish , tongue-in-cheek romp has influenced many rock videos and movies over the years , amongst the latter the ' Mission Impossible ' films and Phillip Noyce's disastrous 1997 version of ' The Saint ' . If Noyce had wanted to remake ' Danger : Diabolik ' , why did he not do so , instead of attempting to transform Leslie Charteris ' suave club land hero into something he was never intended to be ? Though not a spy film per se , I think its right to lump ' Danger : Diabolik ' in with the numerous Bond knock-offs of the ' 60's , such as the ' Flint ' and ' Matt Helm ' movies . Much of the humour is Bond-like . For example , when a villain pleads with Valmont not to shoot him , Valmont lowers his gun - and then sends the terrified man plunging through a trapdoor to his death . A final mention must be made of Ennio Morricone's score which I think is marvellous , the distinctive sound of ' A Fistful Of Dollars ' filtered through ' 60's psychedelia . ' Danger : Diabolik ' was the final film to be ' riffed ' by those would-be jokers on the ( now thankfully ) defunct ' M . S . T . 3 . K . ' . I did not see that particular edition , but expect Tom Servo and co . got some comic mileage out of the film's way-out designs and ( then ) futuristic look . Oh ha-ha . How original . Whoever chose it for inclusion in that dismal show deserves to be covered from head to foot in molten gold ! ' Danger : Diabolik ' is a classic , which is more than can be said for ' M . S . T . 3 . K ' . Shame no sequels were made . |
401,365 | 7,743,887 | 69,634 | 10 | The Ultimate Loser | Some claim ' Some Mothers Do Ave Em ' makes fun of a retarded man . It doesn't . Frank is the world's biggest loser ; not very bright , habitually clumsy , unable to communicate with people and keep down a steady job . But he isn't retarded . The one good thing about his life is that he is married to the lovely , loyal Betty . Not many episodes were made , but each is packed with amusing incident , funny dialogue and some of the most amazing stunts ( performed by Crawford himself ) British television has broadcast . The fact that repeats are still with us thirty years later is testament to its quality . My favourite episode had Frank training to be a P . R . man , and stirring the students into revolt . Michael Crawford was hilarious as Frank , Michele Dotrice marvellous as Betty , and the guest-stars included James Cossins , George Baker and Fulton Mackay . Raymond Allen may never have sold another series to the B . B . C . , but I'm sure he's not too bothered . ' Some Mothers ' will always be shown somewhere . |
401,469 | 7,743,887 | 659,318 | 10 | A Game Of Cold War Cards | Russian scientist Professor Vasil is snatched from under the noses of the K . G . B . by Steed , Gambit , and Purdey ( with assistance from Department operative Roland ) . The agent in charge of the operation - Ivan Perov ( Peter Jeffrey ) - is so worried at the loss of face that he commits suicide . Or appears to . In fact he is alive and well and hopes to regain face by means of a programme he began in the 1950's called ' House Of Cards ' . Russian agents were carefully infiltrated into British society , and now Vasil plans on activating them ; firstly , to kill the New Avengers and then , to snatch back Professor Vasil . . . For many years , this was a ' lost ' New Avengers episode . Lost in the sense that one of its cast refused to allow it to be repeated , but thankfully this is no longer the case . Peter Jeffrey had played villains in two earlier ' Avengers ' episodes - as ' Max Prendergast ' in 1967's ' The Joker ' , and then as ' Monty Bristow ' in 1968's ' Game ' ( my favourite Linda Thorson episode ) . Like Peter Bowles and Peter Wyngarde he could always be relied on to give a good performance . The idea of ' sleepers ' being awakened and ordered to wreak havoc was also the premise of Walter Wager's novel ' Telefon ' , which was filmed the following year by Don Siegel , starring Charles Bronson and Donald Pleasence . The use of playing cards as ' triggers ' may have been inspired by Richard Condon's book ' The Manchurian Candidate ' . As was the case with ' The Eagle's Nest ' , Brian Clemens avoided criticism of stereotyping an entire race by bringing in a good Russian , in this case Olga ( Ina Shriver ) . Interestingly , in Peter Cave's novelisation , it is revealed that Perov's sleepers were trained behind the Iron Curtain in a village made to resemble a British community - a neat reference to the ' Danger Man ' episode ' Colony Three ' . Comedy actors Frank Thornton and Derek Francis appear , the latter cast as Purdey's stepfather , a bishop , who when the going gets rough is able to apprehend bad guys by kicking them , just as his stepdaughter does . Steed gets one of his best moments in this episode ; when his girlfriend Jo ( Geraldine Moffatt ) is caught trying to poison him , she pleads for mercy , but he tells her that he long ago married a job , and has remained faithful ever since . In a nice touch , framed photographs of Cathy Gale , Emma Peel , and Tara King are seen prominently displayed in Steed's living room . |
401,636 | 7,743,887 | 827,573 | 10 | There Goes The Bride ! | With ' The Christmas Invasion ' in 2005 , ' Dr . Who ' effectively displaced ' Only Fools & Horses ' as the ' must-see ' B . B . C . Christmas Day programme . The king is dead , long live the king . With Billie Piper gone , ' The Runaway Bride ' needed to be good - fortunately , it was . Very good indeed . Beginning with secretary Donna Noble being spirited away from her wedding and dumped aboard the Tardis ( thereby removing the need for a lengthy reprise of Rose's tearful departure from ' Doomsday ' ) , the show was a tour de force of witty one-liners , great S . F . X . and nifty performances . Had it been twenty-five minutes longer it could have passed for a decent feature film . The Tardis chasing the taxi was worth tuning in for alone . I laughed out loud when the children in the car mouthed ' Jump ! ' . Before last Christmas , we wondered how David Tennant would shape up as the Doctor . Well , now we know - he is excellent . He handled with aplomb the humorous aspects of ' Bride ' , particularly his exchanges with Donna and later , the Empress of The Rachnoss . But his heartbreak at losing Rose had not dissipated - he saw her at the wedding reception . I hope his departure from the role is a long way off . I have to admit to not being a fan of Catherine Tate's T . V . show , but here she made a good contrast with Rose , being older , louder , brasher and - dare I say it - common as muck , but becoming gradually more sympathetic as the story progressed . When Lance stuck the knife in , you were on her side . As for Sarah Parish as the Empress , what a performance ! That make-up job must have been hell ! Nice that we didn't see her actual death . A return appearance would be welcome . The plot may have been thin , but ' Bride ' pushed all the right buttons ; it had action , comedy , tragedy and , above all , spectacle . The finale in the Empress ' underground lair was literally stupendous . If you watched ' Emmerdale ' instead - more fool you ! Three cheers to B . B . C . Wales for producing yet another seasonal treat ! |
400,781 | 7,743,887 | 60,461 | 10 | Not One For The Feminists | Film buffs tend to turn up their noses at the mention of the name Michael Winner , but the fact is he made some pretty decent films back in the ' 60's ( ' The Cool Mikado ' excepted ! ) , of which ' The System ' was one . Shot in glorious black and white , it is set in a small British seaside resort , where a gang of young men prey on young female tourists . Object ? Sexual conquest . Tinker ( Oliver Reed ) , the self-styled leader of this pack of wolves , is a happy-go-lucky photographer who snaps the girls when they arrive , secures their hotel names and room numbers , and then shares the pictures out among his pals , naturally keeping the best looking one for himself . He calls this method ' The System ' . Tinker takes a shine to rich man's daughter Nicola ( Jane Merrow ) , and begins courting her . She knows what he is up to , and does not attempt to discourage him . Their relationship develops and Tinker finds himself genuinely falling in love , but Nicola is not keen on settling down . Similarities between this film and ' Alfie ' , released a mere two years later , are uncanny . Both feature a good-looking young man whose interest in females goes only as far as the bedroom . Both feature said hero getting his comeuppance at the end - and at the hands of a woman . The ending implies that , despite being rebuffed , Tinker will be back at the railway station the next summer , still practising The System . Both feature the lovely Julia Foster too . As ' Tinker ' , Reed gives a magnetic performance . You can see why the girls fall for him like dominoes . Watching this film with my wife , she commented on his eyes , and she's right . They are like blow lamps . Jane Merrow , an actress known mainly to me through her television work such as ' Danger Man ' and ' The Prisoner ' is gorgeous as the elegant ' Nicola ' . Tinker's gang includes David Hemmings ( two years away from starring in the iconic ' Blow-Up ' ) and John Alderton , future star of the T . V . sitcom ' Please Sir ! ' . His character , Nidge , earns Tinker's wrath by openly admitting he has gotten one of his conquests pregnant . Tinker gives him the address of a back-street abortionist ( it was illegal when this was made ) , but his friend does the decent thing and marries the girl . I was only two when this came out , so cannot say for certain whether its depiction of the young people of that era is in any way accurate . It feels authentic though . The fight between Tinker and Derek Newark's character is brutal indeed , as is a later scrap involving the rest of the gang . The use of broken bottles in said fight probably contributed to the film's earning of an ' X ' certificate ( today it would be 18 ) . The whole British holiday atmosphere is wonderfully captured . As Denis Norden once said : " it will take you back - even if you were never there originally ! " . Peter Draper wrote the thoughtful script , he later collaborated with Reed and Winner on the equally memorable ' I'll Never Forget What'sis name ' . He really should have penned more movies . I'm so glad that this picture has resurfaced on D . V . D . One to put on the shelf next to classics such as ' Alfie ' and ' Georgy Girl ' . |
400,974 | 7,743,887 | 659,327 | 10 | The Final Round | When I saw a repeat of ' The Avengers ' episode ' The Cybernauts ' late one Friday night in 1969 , I assumed automatically that the writer - Philip Levene - had ripped off Dr . Who's arch-enemy ' The Cybermen ' . I found out later on that the Cybernauts had come first . What are Cybernauts ? Robot men , silver in colour , able to home in and kill designated targets by means of snapping necks with one sweep of an arm . The eerie ' whooshing ' sound they made made them ideal for imitating in the playground . Though they moved with a lumbering gait , you definitely would not want a Cybernaut on your tail . They remain the best remembered of all ' Avengers ' baddies , and it is perplexing why Don Macpherson did not use them in his script for ' The Avengers ' movie . An army of Cybernauts on the rampage would surely have looked great on the big screen . After two encounters with John Steed and Mrs . Emma Peel , the Cybernauts went quiet for a few years , before resurfacing in the third episode of ' The New Avengers ' in 1976 . ' House Of Cards ' featured some nice nods to the past , but here we got an outright homage . Levene having died , the job of resurrecting the metal meanies went to Brian Clemens . At the start of the episode , Steed is celebrating his birthday in the company of Gambit and Purdey . A dying agent bursts in , and tells them that Department operative Felix Kane ( Robert Lang ) is really a double agent . The New Avengers lay in wait to catch him red-handed passing secrets to a Russian agent in a car park , but Kane makes a break for it , his car colliding with a petrol tanker . One year later , and a disfigured , wheelchair-bound Kane is plotting revenge . His henchman Malov ( Oscar Quitak ) picks up a newly-released convict called Frank Goff ( Robert Gillespie ) . Goff built the Cybernauts , working from the instructions of the deranged Professor Armstrong . Goff leads Kane to a secret storehouse of Cybernauts . The robots are made to live again . . . One note of bad continuity aside ( Goff was never in either of the earlier Cybernauts episodes ) , this is a cracking yarn , and as good as anything to be found in the original series . As another commentator has noted , the late Robert Lang makes a wonderful villain , neatly combining aspects of the earlier Cybernaut controllers , like Professor Armstrong , Kane is wheelchair-bound , and like Paul Beresford , thirsts for revenge . The director was Sidney Hayers , who helmed ' The Cybernauts ' way back in 1965 . Spot The Future Star - Gwen Taylor , later to star in ' Duty Free ' , is ' Dr . Marlow ' , a sexy scientist whom Steed tells to get in a cupboard . He is trying to save her from a Cybernaut , but she thinks he is being suggestive . Gambit and Purdey seem to be hitting it off beautifully in the scene where they discuss Steed's previous skirmish with the Cybernauts . Their quick-fire repartee is strongly reminiscent of Steed and Peel's . Amusingly , when this was repeated in 1990 by H . T . V . , the continuity announcer Eiry Palfrey must have misread the ' T . V . Times ' synopsis because she said : " In tonight's New Avengers , the Cybernauts are back and the ghost of Emma Peel appears ! " . Eh ? |
401,475 | 7,743,887 | 659,325 | 10 | Monkey Business ! | Though ' The Avengers ' ended in 1969 , repeats kept on coming on I . T . V . ( in my part of the world at least ) until 1972 . Some lucky regions got them as late as 1975 , mostly of the colour Rigg and Thorson episodes , good news for anyone who had recently upgraded their television sets . In 1976 , ' The New Avengers ' appeared . Patrick Macnee returned as ' Steed ' , with Joanna Lumley as ' Purdey ' and Gareth Hunt as ' Mike Gambit ' . Many felt the concept of a trio damaged the show , leaving little room for the kind of romantic chemistry Macnee had earlier enjoyed with his co-stars . I personally feel that it was a necessary move , especially seeing how Macnee was in his fifties when the show was made . ' The Eagle's Nest ' opened the series . A British agent named George Stannard is being chased across open country by fishermen whose rods have poisoned hooks . He seeks sanctuary in a monastery , but the monks stand by and watch him being led away . Whilst being interrogated , he makes a break for it , and speeds away from the island in a boat . A hook catches him across his right cheek , and he dies . Steed arrives at Stannard's London flat , only to be attacked . He gives chase , but ever the gallant gentlemen stops to help an old lady find her dog . He calls Gambit , requesting he consult Purdey . As she and Stannard had been lovers , it is thought she might have knowledge of his present whereabouts . The trail eventually leads to the remote Scottish island of St . Dorca . Steed turns up posing as a tourist , while Purdey sneaks in unannounced . Back in London , Gambit chases the kidnapper of the noted German cryobiologist Von Claus . He catches up with him , but the man takes his own life . Oddly , he is wearing a hairpiece , the crown of his head is shaved , like a monk's . . . I will leave the synopsis here . Suffice it to say , the episode has little of the flavour of the original series , coming across more like a ' Freewheelers ' adventure . From the pre-credits scene you immediately know its not the ' 60's anymore . Laurie Johnson's music is very much of its time , Steed does not have his Bentley , and the elegance and charm that endeared ' The Avengers ' to millions is all but gone . As ' Steed ' , Macnee is as impeccable as ever , Joanna Lumley's ' Purdey ' was the best ' Avengers ' girl since ' Mrs . Peel ' , and ' Gambit ' , while his character was never developed as well as it should , gave a fresh look to the show . As ' Von Claus ' , Peter Cushing made his second ' Avengers ' appearance . He had earlier played ' Paul Beresford ' in ' Return Of The Cybernauts ' . Anticipating being criticised for stereotyping the German people as heel-clicking Nazis , Clemens deliberately made a good German the pivot of the story . The premise of Hitler in suspended animation was hokey even then , but it is executed with some panache here . Not showing us Hitler's actual face was a wise move . The main villainy is provided by Derek Farr as ' Father Trasker ' . I . T . V . ' s trailer relied heavily on clips from this episode , such as Purdey's fight , Gambit's car chase , and Steed saying ' Rule Britannia ! ' when discovered by the Nazi monks . It had the unintended side-effect of making this look like a repeat even on the first run . Critics were divided . Brian Lawrence of ' The News Of The World ' called it ' great entertainment ' while Peter Phillips of ' The Sun ' thought it ' did not deserve a slot even on children's television ' . Phillips ' harsh view was echoed by many ' Sun ' readers . They felt that the show was a lot of ' childish comedy , with stereotypical situations ' . What had happened was that other more realistic thriller shows such as ' The Sweeney ' and ' Starsky & Hutch ' had come along , and Steed and co . looked ridiculous by comparison . Nevertheless , ' The Eagle's Nest ' reached number eight in the Top Ten most watched programmes of the week ( not bad for a non-networked show ) , and eventually the public grew to like ' The New Avengers ' . Steed was back , and with a vengeance ! |
400,835 | 7,743,887 | 85,279 | 10 | Jolly Good Show , Old Bean ! | ' Bullshot ' is Britain's answer to those wild , wacky spoofs such as ' Airplane ! ' and ' Blazing Saddles ' . An affectionate parody of Sapper's famous sleuth , it improves with each viewing . Hugh ' Bullshot ' Crummond is the dashing hero , yet he's a bigger fascist than his Teutonic arch-enemy , Von Bruno . Witness his stance on feminism ; " This country would be in a right mess if they let a woman become Prime Minister ! . The post-W . W . 1 atmosphere is well caught by director Dick Clement , and the cast throw themselves into the thing with gusto , particularly Alan Shearman , Diz White and Ron House ( who also wrote it ) . Frances Tomelty is stunningly sexy as the seductive Lenya , while Mel Smith , Billy Connolly and Nicholas Lyndhurst crop up in smaller roles . Much of the humour is ' end of the pier ' , such as the unseemly bulge in Crummond's underwear , and the Fokker reference , but the film's no more smutty than your average ' Cary On ' . Better than most of them in fact . Deserves a major critical reevaluation . |
401,232 | 7,743,887 | 192,897 | 10 | Onto last week's competition . . . | You will notice that I did not title this review ' And why not ? ' . And why not , I hear you ask ? Well , because it is a quote attributed to Barry Norman by the ex-comedian turned political commentator Rory Bremner , never at any time uttered ( well , maybe once or twice ) by the real Bazza . Funny why he should use it as the title of his autobiography though . Oh well . . . ' Film 72 ' began , you will be surprised to learn , in 1972 , and was presented originally by novelist Jacky Gillatt . I never saw her ( for reasons I will come to later ) , but a clip on an anniversary show in the early 1990's told me she was very beautiful , if somewhat uncomfortable on television ( she sadly later took her own life ) . Barry , son of director Leslie and a former film critic for ' The Daily Maul ' ( sorry , Mail ) , made the show his own . Down here in the Welsh valleys , it was an unknown quantity until 1978 . Those nice B . B . C . programme planners must thought of us Taffies as having no interest in films , save for those set in doomed mining communities and starring coal-dust covered men with operatic voices and names like ' Ianto ' and ' Dai ' . Common sense finally prevailed and it crept onto Sunday nights , competing against re-runs of ' Police Surgeon ' ( a U . S . import starring Sam Groom ) over on the other channel . That theme tune - ' I Wish I Knew How It Felt To Be Free ' - got me hooked . Barry earned my undying admiration by reviewing a Clint Eastwood picture - ' Every Which Way But Loose ' - and favourably comparing the acting skills of Clint's simian co-star - Clyde the orangutan - with those of then teen-sensation John Travolta ( in those days we had only seen J . T . in ' Saturday Night Fever ' and ' Grease ' and were ignorant of his true abilities ) . From then on , I watched Barry in order to see him bash the latest ' blockbusters ' . His reviews were like great works of art ; the words just came flowing out of his mouth , all well-chosen and aimed with the accuracy of an Exocet missile . He could take the most mundane picture and rip it to shreds in a few seconds . For instance , he said that ' Table For Five ' ( 1983 ) screenwriter David Seltzer " lacked the fizz of his better-known brother Alka " . John Lydon ( better known as ' Johnny Rotten ' of The Sex Pistols ) made a film called ' Copkiller ' and Barry said he " sounded like a speak-your-weight machine that had been programmed by E . L . Wisty " ( a comic character created by Peter Cook who spoke only in monotone ) . Sylvester Stallone came in for a Bazza bruising when the ' Rambo ' films went on release . The film director Cecil B . De Mille had , according to Barry , " parted The Red Sea twice ( he had made two versions of ' The Ten Commandments ) . Not even God managed that ! " . I did not agree with all his opinions - he was much too kind to Peter Greenaway for instance , and overpraised the work of Robert Altman and Woody Allen , yet came down hard on horror films . He raved about Brian De Palma's ' Dressed To Kill ' when it opened , yet later recanted , describing it as ' luridly distasteful ' . Ah well , we have all changed our minds at one time or other . In addition to the reviews , there was a regular competition , such as ' Spot The Film This Snatch Of Dialogue Came From ' , the lucky winner receiving the latest copy of Halliwell's Film Guide . And interviews galore . One problem I had with the show had nothing to do with Barry . Some of the flicks he raved about were nowhere to be found outside of London , and by the time they made it here I had forgotten what they were about , and what he thought of them , and went to see ' Zombie Flesh Eaters ' instead . Barry quit in 1982 to front the arts show ' Omnibus ' and in his place we got various celebrities such as future ' Vanity Fair ' editor Tina Brown , actress Maria Aitken , Michael Parkinson , the late Glyn Worsnip , and Iain Johnstone . But none could hold a clapperboard to Barry and it came as a relief to see him back a year or so later . In 1998 , he left the B . B . C . to move to Sky T . V . It turned out to be the worst change of channels made by anyone since Simon Dee defected to L . W . T . in 1969 . The new show was a pale shadow of his old one , and was annoyingly interrupted by commercials . Sky eventually dropped it . The B . B . C . replaced Barry with Jonathan Ross and he has been there ever since . Barry continues to write for ' The Radio Times ' , but it is a shame that he is no longer to be seen on the box , sitting in that comfortable-looking chair , talking about a subject he both knows and cares about . |
400,991 | 7,743,887 | 78,346 | 10 | The Man With The Krypton Factor ! | No sooner had the world recovered from ' Star Wars ' mania in 1977 than ' Superman ' mania was upon us . But whereas George Lucas ' homage to ' Flash Gordon ' came out of nowhere to become the top-grossing film of all time ( until E . T . came along ) , with The Man Of Steel the publicity bandwagon started rolling a long time before the film received its premiere . I remember telling my friends all about it , based on snippets I had read in newspapers and magazines such as ' Starburst ' . Most scoffed . ' Superman ' was considered baby stuff , fodder for poorly animated Saturday morning shows . The idea to do the film came from Pierre Spengler , who suggested the D . C . comics character to producers Alexander and Ilya Salkind as a follow-up to their hit ' Three Musketeers ' movies . You have to remember that this was the pre-C . G . I . era , hence a project like ' Superman ' was always going to be something of a risk . It would only take one person to laugh at the sight of a flying man in blue and red for the whole world to join in . But who to play the lead ? Big-name stars such as James Caan and Robert Redford were ( wisely ) ruled out . Rather like Sean Connery and ' James Bond ' , the producers cast an unknown actor - the late Christopher Reeve - as ' Superman ' . Reeve was no muscle man , but could act . A body building course was all that was required to turn him into the perfect hero . A major casting coup was the signing of Marlon Brando as ' Jor-El ' , Superman's father . With him aboard , it was relatively easy for the Salkinds to secure other stars such as Gene Hackman , Susannah York , Glenn Ford , Ned Beatty , Trevor Howard , and others . The film opened at the end of 1978 . Unlike ' Star Wars ' , I did not have to wait six months for it to turn up at my local theatre , finding myself in the unique position of seeing a major blockbuster before Barry Norman had a chance to review it for the B . B . C . It opens with a shot of the very first ' Superman ' comic . A tiny hand opens the cover , and we hear a boy's voice reading the first page . Suddenly , it all comes wonderfully to life . John Williams ' marvellous theme explodes onto the soundtrack as the titles hurtle towards the audience like comets . On the ice planet Krypton , three villains ( Terence Stamp , Sarah Douglas , and Jack O'Halloran ) are on trial for attempting to overthrow the ruling elite . Sentenced to exile in The Phantom Zone , we see them spinning off into space , their screams echoing as they get further away . As it turned out , they have had a lucky escape as Krypton is about to blow up anyway . Jor-El and his wife Lara place their only son , Kal-El , aboard a space-ship that resembles a large thistle and send it to Earth . Then up goes the planet . Stanley Kubrick could not have bettered these scenes . The ship lands in Smallville , America in the year 1938 . Jonathan and Martha Kent , a childless couple , find the baby Kal-El and decide to raise him as their own . Years later , Clark Kent ( as Kal-El is now known ) arrives in Metropolis to take up a post as reporter on The Daily Planet . I will leave the synopsis at this point but its worth pointing out that although ' Superman ' does not show up properly for about the first forty or so minutes the film has been so good it has not been a major problem . Reeve is terrific both as ' Superman ' and his clumsy alter-ego ' Clark ' , as is Margot Kidder as fellow reporter ' Lois Lane ' . Hackman's ' Lex Luthor ' , however , is a bit of a problem . He's very amusing but I found him a little too reminiscent of the campy villains from the old ' Batman ' television show . Valerie Perrine made quite an impact on me at the time as his sexy mistress ' Eve ' . Luthor has come up with a mad scheme to destroy California by detonating nuclear missiles along the San Andreas fault in order to make the worthless desert he has purchased valuable . The action is , as you would expect , spectacular , particularly the earthquake sequence . But its Reeve and Kidder who make the film work . The ' can you read my mind ' scene would have been nauseating without these two . This was Richard Donner's first film since ' The Omen ' and with it , he delivered another super-smash hit ( many liked it better than ' Star Wars ' ) , paving the way for three sequels , a spin-off ( ' Supergirl ' ) , and most recently ' Superman Returns ' , which , in my view , was a disappointment . Until ' Spider-Man ' in 2002 , this was the best superhero movie of them all . |
401,086 | 7,743,887 | 1,061,123 | 10 | Thirteen Million People Liked It , So Stop Moaning ! | Another Christmas Day , another Christmas Day ' Dr . Who ' . This one was different in that it had the Kylie factor . To be honest , I'm not the world's biggest fan of ' La La La ' Minogue . I suppose it stems back to ' Neighbours ' , a show to which I have a long-term aversion . I can't get squeaky clean ' Charlene ' out of my memory banks . Fortunately , she has come a long way since then . The role of ' Astrid Peth ' could have been played by anyone , but to her credit she infused it with a fair amount of vitality and warmth . Her demise was never in any doubt ( the production team could never afford her as a regular ) , but she got a suitably spectacular exit . As for the plot being ripped off from ' The Poseidon Adventure ' , well , doesn't that just take the cake ? Fancy taking someone else's idea and turning into a ' Dr . Who ' script . Russell T . Davies ' head should roll for this . Of course this sort of thing never used to happen back in the days of Robert Holmes and Philip Hinchcliffe , when ' The Talons Of Weng-Chiang ' , ' Planet Of Evil ' and ' The Brain Of Morbius ' were made . Any resemblance to these and ' Sherlock Holmes ' , ' Forbidden Planet ' and ' Frankenstein ' must have been coincidental then . A survivor of the ' Titanic ' was quoted in the press as saying that the tragedy should not be used as the basis for entertainment . Fair comment . The thing is Dr . Who's ' Titanic ' was a spaceship . Unless there was a spaceship disaster recently that involved robotic angels , cyborg dwarfs , and teleport bracelets , I think we should let the complaint pass . I think what has miffed some fans is that ' Damned ' did not take place on the real Titanic , because then they could have savaged R . T . D . for messing up continuity by not having the tenth doctor meet his predecessor ( who was also aboard , if ' Rose ' is to be believed ) . Being a Christmas Special , ' Damned ' had to be spectacular - and was . We've come a long way since the wobbly sets and quarries . The sets and S . F . X . would have done credit to a movie . Everything was BIG . The cast were exceptional too - Clive Swift , Geoffrey Palmer , Bernard Cribbins , George Costigan , and that old thesp Nicholas Witchell . There were some good gags , such as Mr . Copper getting Christmas wrong and London being deserted because the public remembered the events of the previous Christmas Specials . Jessica Martin was The Voice Of The Queen . You have to hand it to her Majesty . The moment she saw the Titanic hurtling towards her , she knew the Doctor had to be involved somewhere . ' Damned ' pushed all the right buttons ; it was funny , thrilling , tragic , suspenseful . Anyone expecting another ' Blink ' was a fool . Yes , the plot was thinner than one of my Aunt Doris ' After Eight mints , but sweet all the same . Yes , a lot of people died , but then they do in real disaster movies . David Tennant confirmed his status as the best Doctor of them all . His ' I am a Time Lord ' speech was electrifying . While the ' fans ' pick over the Special like a housewife cutting up the remains of the turkey on Boxing Day , I shall raise a glass of sherry to everyone involved in its making , and bask in the glory of the viewing figures . ' Dr . Who ' is no longer a ' fans ' only show . When I buy D . V . D's , I no longer feel embarrassed , because I know now I am no longer alone in my love for the show . While ' fans ' cry into their Tom Baker hats and pretend that the new-look ' Who ' is a bad dream , I feel sorry for them because they are missing the best British television in years . Like him or hate him , R . T . D . is part of that success story . Could Steven Moffat have done better than thirteen million viewers ? In some strange parallel universe , R . T . D . never existed , ' Dr . Who ' did not come back in 2005 , and the ' fans ' spent this last Christmas Day writing yet more letters begging for its return . |
400,684 | 7,743,887 | 516,855 | 10 | Who ( Or What ) Is R . E . M . A . K . ? | Linda Thorson hardly features in this episode . ' Tara ' goes off on holiday early on , and does not reappear until the end , when the mission is over . In her place we get the lovely Jennifer Croxton ( later to co-star with future ' Avengers ' babe Joanna Lumley in the sitcom ' Its Awfully Bad For Your Eyes Darling ' ) as ' Lady Diana Forbes-Blakeney ' . In his book on ' The Avengers ' , Dave Rogers wonders whether Lady Di might have been a try-out for a new leading lady just in case the show was recommissioned without Linda . As it turned out , it was not . She has her fans , but I am not one of them . She has little rapport with Macnee , appearing to have wandered out out of one of the Monty Berman / Dennis Spooner I . T . C . shows . ' Killer ' was by Tony Williamson , author of the classic ' Danger Man ' caper - ' Not So Jolly Roger ' and various episodes of ' Adam Adamant Lives ' and ' The Champions ' . British agents are turning up dead , wrapped in polythene , and - this is the really perplexing part - having been first shot , stabbed , garroted , drowned etc . Yet their clothes are intact ! What's going on ? There is not really much of a plot here . One agent dies , another investigates , he in turn dies , another goes after him and dies , and so on , a bit like a game of ' Follow My Leader ' . Among the victims is Anthony Valentine , on the cusp of stardom in ' Callan ' and ' Colditz ' . Harry Towb has a good role as a traitorous British agent who keeps turning up on a deserted film set with arrows / knives sticking out his chest ! Comedy actor Richard Wattis is around too . The centre of the mysterious goings-on is a factory . At its heart is R . E . M . A . K . - a computer programmed to kill . Anyone unlucky to find himself inside the place will be forced to pass through a series of brightly coloured rooms ( a fact that would have been lost on British viewers watching in black and white ) , each equipped with a death device . R . E . M . A . K . ' s human associates are played by William Franklyn and Grant Taylor , who talk about the machine as though it were a real person . This was Cliff Owen's only episode . He directed two of the three Morecambe & Wise movies ( including the best one - ' That Riviera Touch ' ) and the cheeky ( in more ways than one ) Dick Emery comedy ' Ooh You Are Awful ' . He does a good job on ' Killer ' , keeping it slick , fast-moving and entertaining , and one wishes he had done more . The climax in the factory - as Steed alone tackles the computer - is wonderful . Had Tara not gone off with her bucket and spade , this would have been a classic episode . The ' all-powerful computer ' idea would be reused in the ' New Avengers ' adventure ' Complex ' . |
401,265 | 7,743,887 | 516,859 | 10 | Send In The Clowns ! | A fabulous episode from the pen of Dennis Spooner , creator of ' The Champions ' and ' Randall & Hopkirk ( Deceased ) ' . Company directors are being ruthlessly eliminated by a pair of clowns , ' Merry Maxie Martin ' ( Jimmy Jewel ) and ' Jennings ' ( Julian Chagrin ) . Each time they murder someone they exit the scene with a merry little dance . Then Maxie leaves a red nose behind , giving Steed and Tara a major clue . Tara goes to see Marcus Rugman ( John Cleese ) , who keeps a record of copyrighted clown make-up , stored in a room of specially-painted eggs . He identifies the nose as belonging to Martin , but then the clowns show up and kill him . Martin , a one-time music-hall entertainer , is a resident at ' Vauda Villa ' - a retirement home for showbiz entertainers . A Punch & Judy man is guiding the actions of the residents , forcing them to commit murder in revenge for all the theatres the corporation has closed . But the mastermind has another , more sinister reason behind his actions - the same corporation is behind ' Project Cupid ' - the name of the secret underground base which the British Government will occupy in the event of nuclear war . . . As previously mentioned , this story features John Cleese , some months ahead of ' Monty Python's Flying Circus ' . He does not get a big role , certainly nothing comparable with ' Frost Report ' co-star Ronnie Barker's contribution to ' The Hidden Tiger ' , but he represents the future of comedy in a story that virtually celebrates its past . The casting of Jimmy Jewel - one half of the double-act Jewel and Warriss - was indeed inspired , and Julian Chagrin's sad-face makes ' Jennings ' seem incredibly sinister . Bernard Cribbins has a nice cameo as a gag writer , forever scribbling down jokes , reading them back to himself , and then throwing them away . When Tracey Emin went on the B . B . C . ' s ' Room 101 ' , she chose clowns as one of the things she most wanted to rid the world of , and a clip of this episode was used to illustrate their potential creepiness . Wonderful Welsh actor Talfryn Thomas ( ' Pte . Cheeseman ' in ' Dad's Army ' ) is ' Fiery Frederick ' . His leering and grimacing as he plans to burn Tara in half is disturbing to behold . The climax is a fight between Steed , Tara , Martin and Jennings , with the clowns changing costumes at lightning speed to confuse their opponents . You have got to see it to believe it ! |
401,632 | 7,743,887 | 934,694 | 10 | Long Overdue Reappraisal Of A Much Maligned Comic Legend | The name Benny Hill has for too long been a byword for the so-called ' old school of British comedy ' . the very thing alternative comedy set out to ( and did ) destroy . About the only time we see his work now is in tacky retro programmes of the ' 100 Most Embarrassing Things About The ' 70's ' variety . A clip of Benny being chased through a park by scantily-clad lovelies followed by some smug media whore slapping his forehead , before exclaiming : " What was that all about ? " . So it was with some misgivings that I sat down to watch this over the festive period . It began by telling us nothing new ; that Hill was one of the most popular comedians in Britain for forty years , before falling foul of the alternative comedy brigade , in particular Ben Elton . I like and admire Elton , mainly for his work on ' The Young Ones ' and ' Blackadder ' , but his attacks on Hill were ludricrously over the top . ' Funny ' retold the story of Hill's life and career and included little-seen ( by me anyway ) clips from his B . B . C . series , widely regarded as the apex of his career . His take off of Mick Jagger was hysterical ! There was more to Benny than leering milkmen and busty blondes , as several contributors pointed out . Like Ronnie Barker , he could create memorable comedy simply by playing around with words . Many of his funniest sketches did not rely on visual humour . It came as a shock to see Ben Elton finally giving way and describing Hill as a ' great comedian ' , something many of us have known for years . Perhaps Elton's change of heart is attributable to his now knowing what its like to go out of style himself , as the hostile reaction to his disastrous B . B . C . sitcom ' Blessed ' well and truly proved . Finally , a randomly chosen audience of young people were invited to watch several Benny Hill sketches . The looks of pleasure on their faces was the most wondrous sight on British television in years . They voted Hill a hit . Whether ' Is Benny Hill Still Funny ? ' leads to a resurgence of interest in his humour remains to be seen . But the signs are that young people have had a belly full of being ordered not to laugh at certain things , and want the chance to make up their own minds . Somewhere in that great television studio in the sky , one Alfred Hawthorne Hill must be looking down - and smiling . |
401,580 | 7,743,887 | 516,840 | 10 | Never say die ! | London is in the grip of a thick fog . Delegates arrive to attend the World Disarmanent Conference . Steed is there to greet them . One gets lost , and is murdered by a mysterious figure in a cloak and top hat . Steed and Tara trace a clue to the ' Gaslight Ghoul Club ' , a secret society dedicated to unearthing the mystery of London's most notorious serial killer , a ' Jack The Ripper ' type figure who mysteriously disappeared around 1888 . It would seem the Gaslight Ghoul has arisen from the grave , and his blade is as sharp as ever . . . Jeremy Burnham's story - one of my favourites - appears to be set in Victorian London - foggy , cobblestoned streets , gas lamps on every corner , organ grinders , flower sellers - yet the dialogue establishes the era as the late 1960's . Mother drives around in a Mini Moke fitted with powerful lamps ! Atmospheric direction by John Hough , later to direct the Hammer Horror film ' Twins Of Evil ' . That splendid actor Nigel Green , who plays ' Sir Geoffrey Armstrong ' , was ' Sir Lexius Cray ' in ' The Winged Avenger ' . David Lodge's contribution to this episode was excised . When Channel 4 repeated this in the mid-90's , they cut out a sequence involving knives . |
401,195 | 7,743,887 | 810,721 | 10 | A Long Overdue Salute To The Comedy Greats | When I was young , two of my favourite programmes were ' Mad Movies ' hosted by Bob Monkhouse , and ' The Golden Silents ' with Michael Bentine , which instilled in me a lifelong love of the classic silent comedians such as Chaplin , Laurel & Hardy , Keaton , and Lloyd . I got that same wonderful feeling again watching Paul Merton in this excellent B . B . C . - 4 series . His enthusiasm for the subject is unmistakable , and he managed to convey it to the audience . Seeing children laughing out loud at silent comedy was the most wonderful sight on television in years . The feature on the painstaking restoration work on the films in the ' Keaton ' edition was fascinating too . The cherry on the cake was the screening in each edition of a complete movie , my favourite being ' Safety Last ' starring Harold Lloyd . Now we know at last how he did that scene on the clock ! Forget today's ' cutting edge ' rubbish , it'll soon be forgotten . Silent comedy , on the other hand , will live forever . Let's have another series soon , Paul ! |
400,858 | 7,743,887 | 516,841 | 10 | ' Steed is shot full of holes . . . Emma sees stars ! ' | Cosgrove , an amateur astronomer , is observing the planet Venus . His glass of beer suddenly bubbles for no apparent reason . A strange whirring sound , a flash of light , and he is stone cold dead , his hair bleached pure white . Obviously a case for John Steed and Mrs . Emma Peel . As other astronomers - all members of the British Venusian Society - go the same way , it begins to look as though the killer is actually from Venus . Emma chases a ball of light along a country road in her Lotus Elan . When Channel 4 began broadcasting in 1982 , it revived a number of vintage television shows , both British and American . ' The Avengers ' was amongst them . Fans were disappointed to learn that the run was to commence with Season 5 , of which ' From Venus With Love ' was the first transmitted episode . Despite the shows going out at 12 . 55 in the early hours of Sunday ( we were more fortunate here in Wales . S4C showed it at 6 . 00 P . M . on Mondays ) , the reaction was strong enough to see the series ultimately promoted to a 7 . 25 slot on a Sunday evening ( mid-way through the ' Tara King ' era , they ran Season 4 - the black and white ' Emma Peel ' series ! ) . The prints used were hardly pristine ( as Patrick Macnee later remarked : " That wasn't ' The Avengers ' ! The episodes were cut , lacerated , destroyed ! " . He had a point . The ' Mrs . Peel We're Needed ' and ' tag ' scenes were deleted entirely . ' From Venus With Love ' is my all-time favourite ' Avengers ' episode . Continuing writer Philip Levene's fascination with science fiction ( he created ' The Cybernauts ' ) , it has what appears to be an alien invader on the loose . Laurie Johnson's music here recalls Ron Goodwin's ' Village Of The Damned ' score , and several other British sci-fi classics . Amongst a fine cast Jeremy Lloyd crops up as aristocratic chimney sweep ' Bert Smith ' , the late Philip Locke as ' Dr . Primble ' , and Jon Pertwee as the Blimpish ' Brigadier Whitehead ' , writing his memoirs through the reliving of battles . Sparkling script by Philip Levene and stylish direction by Robert Day make this a true ' Avengers ' classic . One to show to the uninitiated . |
401,286 | 7,743,887 | 1,164,707 | 10 | Surviving " Survivors " | After enduring the latest episode of B . B . C . - 1's ' Survivors ' , I watched this excellent half-hour documentary about the original show . More drama was to be found in the clips here than has so far been evident in Adrian Hodges ' hodge-podge . The opening episode - ' The Fourth Horseman ' - is an object exercise in minimalist drama . It opens with Abby Grant ( Carolyn Seymour ) , a middle-class housewife , awaiting her husband's return ( Peter Bowles , in what was basically an extended cameo ) from London . News reports are claiming that people are succumbing to a deadly new plague . Civilization is gradually breaking down , and what few survivors are left are forced to band together , to live and work as a community . It was more believable because it was seen to happen gradually . Not the case in ' Survivors 2008 ' . No sooner had the opening titles faded than Mankind was gone . The original survivors were drawn from all walks of life , featuring a smattering of elderly people , whereas the new intake are young , good-looking and more interested in sex than staying alive ( A kick up the backside to ' The Radio Times ' writer who claimed that the original was about men in jeans sitting around kitchen tables , discussing crop rotation ) . Complaints about the show being far ' too middle-class ' are trivial . When I watched ' Survivors ' , I was too absorbed in the drama to notice anyone's class . Good though the documentary was , it had flaws . The somewhat sniffy commentary would have us all believe that ' 70's Britain was not a very nice place to live , blighted by strikes , food shortages , and petrol rationing . Is today any better though ? We have had the global financial crisis ( sorted out by a Labour Prime Minister . Who would have thought it ? ) with banks collapsing and the credit crunch causing long-established firms like ' Woolworths ' to go to the wall . Will the Noughties look like Utopia to future generations ? Surprisingly unmentioned was the dispute between Terry Nation and ' Avengers ' writer Brian Clemens , who claimed the show's idea was originally his . Producer Terence Dudley was a megalomaniac , driving Nation away after the first series and then ( unforgivably ) sacking Carolyn Seymour . The show never really recovered ( Dudley's behaviour also alienated Kit Pedler and Gerry Davis , creators of his earlier sci-fi hit ' Doomwatch ' ) . Despite the production difficulties , ' Survivors ' was a cracking show , being both well acted and intelligently written . I could not believe my eyes when characters in the new show were seen accessing the internet . In one stroke the series ' purpose - the depiction of a world where Man has to learn to get by without technology - was defeated . It would be akin to a remake of ' The Changes ' having ' Nicky Gore ' using a laptop after fleeing a deserted London . It was good to see Seymour , Lucy ' Jenny ' Fleming , and Ian ' Greg ' McCulloch talking about the show , and their characters . They were indeed a great team . You cared about them . Seymour's open admission of alcoholism was indeed shocking . Director Pennant Roberts also had some interesting things to say , such as how the show had been inspired by a bestselling book on self sufficiency ( the same one also inspired the sitcom ' The Good Life ' ! ) . As it ended , I was left wanting to see the original ' Survivors ' again . If only to wipe away the memory of Adrian Hodges ' lifeless and stilted ' reimagining ' . |
400,644 | 7,743,887 | 68,065 | 10 | Exit Upton , Re-Enter Waring | With Barry Evans out of the ' Doctor ' series , it hit crisis point . So popular was he that to have recast the role of ' Upton ' would have been a mistake . Humphrey Barclay chose instead to bring back the cheeky ' Duncan Waring ' - not seen since ' In The House ' - played by the late , much-missed Robin Nedwell . His absence was explained by his being in America , studying medicine ( and getting up to naughty business as the episode ' Honey Lamb ' would make abundantly clear ) . Upton was said to have joined the Merchant Navy to escape the amorous advances of Nurse Willett , to whom he had drunkenly proposed . He was never seen again and remained virtually forgotten until the opening episode of ' Doctor At The Top ' twenty years later . It didn't take long for Waring to engender the same level of affection as his predecessor . He was more of an extrovert ( only an extrovert would wear those hideous bow-ties ! ) and Nedwell was particularly adept at physical comedy . The early episodes gave him a steady girlfriend in the shape of Nurse Sandra Crumpton , played by Sammie Winmill , of ' The Tomorrow People ' fame , but she was dropped after a handful of episodes , along with Duncan's mother and father . Richard O'Sullivan had proved popular as slimy ' Bingham ' and so was granted the honour of appearing in the opening titles along with the others . Inside Duncan's pacing outline Lawrence can be seen reacting in horror as the ambulance he is in collides head-on with another , carrying Dick Stuart-Clark . ' In Charge ' became the first ' Doctor ' series to earn a two-page strip in the children's comic ' Look-In ' . Angus P . Allan's stories were true to the spirit of the original , although the nurse-chasing and boozing were conspicuously absent ! I rate this as the best of the ' Doctor ' series , mainly because of the combined team of Nedwell , Davies , Layton , O'Sullivan and Clark and the superb scripts by , amongst others , Graeme Garden and Bill Oddie ( ' The Black & White Medical Show ' excepted ! ) . Sadly , they left after the first series to concentrate on ' The Goodies ' . Future ' Grange Hill ' and ' Brookside ' creator Phil Redmond was one of their replacements . Two story arcs occurred in the first series - Loftus ' quest for a knighthood and Bingham courting and marrying one of Duncan's old flames - the ghastly ' Dr . Mary Parsons ' ( Helen Fraser ) , who refers to him as ' Bidger-Badger ! ' and Duncan as ' Dunky ' ! Incidentally , a young Tony Robinson ( ' Baldrick ' from ' Blackadder ' ) appears in the episodes ' Amazing Grace ' and ' The Epidemic ' . Funniest episode - ' Honeymoon Special ' Watch it and cry laughing ! |
400,970 | 7,743,887 | 60,566 | 10 | The Jokers Are Wild ! | I love ' Swinging London ' movies ( real ones that is , not spoofs such as ' Austin Powers ' ) and ' The Jokers ' is a good example . It was directed by the much-maligned Michael Winner during what might be termed his ' golden age ' , the era of ' The System ' , ' You Must Be Joking ! ' , ' Hannibal Brooks ' , and ' I'll Never Forget Whatsisname ' . Having been booted out of the army for cheating during a training exercise , Michael Tremayne ( Michael Crawford ) decides to get even with the British establishment by making an extravagant gesture , hence he and brother David ( Oliver Reed ) execute a brilliantly conceived scheme to steal The Crown Jewels from the Tower of London . They plan to elude justice by leaving letters with solicitors stating that their intention was not to permanently deprive the Monarchy of their beloved trinkets ( apparently , this loophole in British law actually exists ) . The public takes the thieves to their hearts ( echoes of The Great Train Robbers ) . But then something goes wrong . Unbeknowest to David , Michael did not submit his letter , leaving his brother to take the blame for the theft . . . Though Winner came up with the basic idea , the script was penned by Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais , then fresh from their successful B . B . C . sitcom ' The Likely Lads ' . There is little of the humour of that show here , but it is witty and engaging . In the aftermath of the robbery , various members of the public are interviewed by a television news reporter . One man says he is not sorry for The Queen as she can ' always put in an insurance claim ' . A holiday maker ( Frank Finlay ) jokingly tells Customs officers that he has nothing to declare ' except the Crown Jewels ' . But the joke backfires as the officers proceed to dismantle his car ! As the Tremayne brothers , Crawford and Reed are great . They are rich , good-looking , and popular with the débutantes so by rights you should hate them , but you do not . In fact you find yourself hoping they will get away with it . Surprisingly , the stars only worked together one more time - 1981's Walt Disney romp ' Condorman ' . Great supporting cast - James Donald as a dimwitted army colonel , Harry Andrews as Scotland Yard's finest ' Inspector Maryatt ' , and Brian Wilde as his incompetent sidekick ' Sgt . Catchpole ' . Warren Mitchell , Edward Fox , Daniel Massey , William Mervyn , and Julian Holloway are also in evidence . The jokers preface their theft by staging a hoax bombing campaign in the London capital , credited to ' Red George ' . Unfortunately , a few years later , bombs started going off there for real , courtesy of the I . R . A . , hence it was a good thing this was made when it was . Winner's brisk direction perfectly complements the amusing script and deft performances . There's also a lively soundtrack by Johnny Pearson . My only complaint is that there was never a sequel : ' The Jokers Strike Again ! ' in which the Tremaynes go after the Mona Lisa ! |
400,711 | 7,743,887 | 756,974 | 10 | Beauty Queen Shocks Council ! | Naive , small-time thief Lennie Godber spends his first night in H . M . Slade Prison , in the company of Norman Stanley Fletcher . He is naturally nervous , but Fletcher gets him through it by telling him to pretend that he is having a ' quiet night in ' . As the doors are locked and the lights dim , the two men swap views on a variety of subjects . . . Its often been said that the simplest , most effective form of drama is the frank exchange between characters of widely differing viewpoints trapped in a lift or marooned on a desert island . That approach works well for comedy too . Here Dick Clement and Ian LaFrenais take a young , wet-behind-the-ears Brummie criminal and pair him off with an older , hardened Cockney lag . The script is , as one would reasonably expect , top notch and is performed to perfection by both Ronnie Barker and Richard Beckinsale . Apart from a brief appearance by Paul McDowell ( a regular on ' Dave Allen At Large ' ) as a prison guard , its virtually a two-handed piece , as good as anything you will find in the theatre . Poor Lennie badly misses his girlfriend Denise and reminisces at length about their sexual past . Fletcher urges him to forget her , then is fascinated by a topless Page 3 girl in ' The Sun ' . Godber is such a charming , intelligent young man its hard to see what drove him to crime in the first place . From his cell mate , though , he gets a masterclass in the fine art of prison survival . ' Porridge ' had only been on air for two weeks when this episode aired , but it had already achieved the status of ' comedy classic ' . Funniest moment - Fletcher repeatedly stepping on Godber's darning needle ! |
400,625 | 7,743,887 | 140,733 | 10 | And The Verdict Is . . . | Daytime television in the U . K . didn't used to be about make over shows , ' Loose Women ' , and confrontational programmes of the ' Jeremy Kyle ' variety . Back in the ' 70's , we had ' Crown Court ' , a series of intelligently written courtroom dramas , starring the cream of Britain's acting talent . The secret of the show's success lay in its simplicity ; we rarely saw what was going on in the outside world , all we knew of the respective cases was what we heard from the witnesses , and that was enough . The jury was chosen from members of the public , who'd then deliver a verdict based on the evidence . Perhaps the most disturbing case was ' Destruct , Destruct ' in which a sci-fi obsessed juvenile suffocates a boy with a plastic bag . Every time the camera focused on the accused , we'd be privy to his thought processes , which consisted of weird electronic noises . In 1976 , Granada revamped ' Crown Court ' , putting it out on Saturday nights in hour-long shows . It didn't work , however , and soon returned to its natural habitat . |
400,716 | 7,743,887 | 794,895 | 10 | The Reluctant Romeo | Terry's sister Audrey is dating a hairdresser named Mario , to whom her brother takes an instant dislike . Keen to break up the relationship before it has a chance to turn serious , Terry tells Bob to ask Audrey on a date , while he takes Mario off to the pub and gets him legless . Bob , who has always regarded Audrey as something of a sister figure , is reluctant to go along with his friend's wishes , but does so . Audrey , however , is wise to the deception and comes on strong with Bob . . . ' The Suitor ' was the last episode of the first season of ' The Likely Lads ' , and is one of the few ' 60's episodes to survive the mass junkings of the ' 70's . Looking back , it now seems incredible that anyone could have even considered wiping classic sitcoms such as this . Did no-one realise just how special it was ? ' Mario ' provided an early television role for George Layton , the future ' Dr . Paul Collier ' of ' Doctor In The House ' and its sequels . When he tells Terry that he isn't Italian ( his real name is Ernie ) , Terry warms to him and reacts angrily when Bob reveals that deep down he really does fancy Audrey ( as Sheila Fearn is drop dead gorgeous , who can blame him ? ) Funniest moment - a laughing Bob and Terry shaking Mario's car in an effort to stop the hairdresser kissing Audrey . |
401,480 | 7,743,887 | 60,592 | 10 | Spy Games In Rio ! | ' Kiss The Girls & Make Them Die ' ( to give it its American title ) was one of a number of films in the ' 60's designed to cash in on the success of James Bond . It was made by Dino De Laurentiis , a man who , like Irwin Allen , has attracted more than his fair share of derision over the years , despite having produced some pretty entertaining pictures , of which this is one . It begins with a curious scene in the Brazilian jungles as eccentric English explorer Lord Aldric ( Terry-Thomas ) comes across a village where no children have been born in years , and despite the best efforts of the women the men appear completely disinterested in sex ( sounds like my home town ! ) . Aldric makes notes in his diary , only to be shot . The diary then goes missing - having been taken by one of the bearers - and a gang of villains , headed by wealthy industrialist David Ardonian ( Raf Vallone ) set out to recover it . We then move to Rio De Janeiro . An American is watching a pretty girl and a young man through binoculars . Various thugs close in on him . Taking refuge in a giant statue of Jesus , he is stalked by a sinister bald heavy ( Oliver McGreevy - who also appeared in ' Modesty Blaise ' and the first episode of ' The Prisoner ' T . V . series ) with a gun . The American , whom we will later learn is called Kelly , is an agent of the C . I . A . , and escapes from the killer with the aid of a helicopter . Kelly is in Rio to investigate the activities of the mysterious Mr . Ardonian , believed to be responsible for the disappearances of beautiful girls . Each has lavish gifts bestowed on them , on the promise that they will remain faithful to him . If any break this vow - and one or two do - then he has them killed . His top henchman is Omar ( Sandro Dori ) , a baby-faced blond psychopath whose favourite murder methods involve scorpions and boa constrictors . To cut the story short , Ardonian plans on cryogenically freezing his girls and thawing them out for breeding purposes when the world's population has died out due to mass sterility - which he intends causing with the aid of a satellite that will blanket the world with radiation . The Chinese have provided him with a rocket , believing he will only sterilise the West . Of course he does not intend honouring this promise . Joining forces with glamorous British agent Susan Fleming ( Dorothy Provine ) and her ever-so English chauffeur James ( Terry-Thomas again ) , Kelly sets out to stop the madman . The first thing to be said for the movie is that it looks more expensive than your average ' 60's spy caper . Most of the 007 wannabees lacked the kind of extravagance the Bonds had in abundance , but ' Kiss ' was an exception . It boasts fabulous location filming in Rio , impressive sets ( Ardonian's underground lair is cool ) , the gadgets are fun , the girls hot , and the hero stylishly played by future ' Mannix ' star Mike Connors . Little is known about his character , we do not find out if ' Kelly ' is his first name or last , all we really know is that he loves bananas . Unusually , he does not get to sleep around , though he proposes marriage to Susan at the end . Dorothy Provine is very funny , even if her English accent is none too convincing , but in a movie like this reality is unimportant . As ' Ardonian ' , Raf Vallone is as menacing as he was in ' The Italian Job ' when he played the head of the Mafia . Terry-Thomas is a hoot as the karate chopping ' James ' . As Chinese spy ' Wilma Soong ' , Seyna Seyn is devastatingly sexy , though underused . It is said that the 1979 Bond movie ' Moonraker ' is a virtual remake of this picture . I am sure Christopher Wood and Lewis Gilbert would vehemently deny it , but even so the resemblance is uncanny . One of the film's writers , Jack Pulman , went on to pen the classic B . B . C . series ' I Claudius ' . He probably only took this job for the money , but his script is a lot better than many others of the genre , being consistently amusing and inventive . Being English , he may have seen an episode of the ' Thunderbirds ' T . V . series , explaining how ' Susan ' and ' James ' so closely resemble ' Lady Penelope ' and ' Parker ' . Henry Levin , the director , keeps the action moving nicely , and it is hard to believe the same man directed two of Dean Martin's ' Matt Helm ' pictures - ' Murderers ' Row ' and ' The Ambushers ' . The only fault I could find was the music , particularly the harmonica solos used during the action which seem to have drifted in from a Western . If ever a film cried out for Jerry Goldsmith it was this one . ' Kiss ' never got a sequel . Bearing in mind how quickly the Flint and Matt Helm series deteriorated it is probably just as well . It is tremendous entertainment , a must for genre fans , and deserves a D . V . D . release . Perhaps now that Quentin Tarantino has officially endorsed it it may get one . Not before time either . |
400,599 | 7,743,887 | 944,389 | 10 | You do not get crocodiles in the ocean ! | The sitcom for which the late Terry Scott is best remembered is , of course , ' Terry & June ' , in which he co-starred with June Whitfield . However , from 1962-68 , he was partnered with the wonderful Hugh Lloyd in the David Croft-produced ' Hugh & I ' . As was the case with ' Hancock's Half-Hour ' , Scott and Lloyd played characters with the same names as themselves ; the former was a social-climbing bachelor , always on the lookout for fame and fortune , the latter his dim-witted lodger . They resided at Scott's mother's house at 33 Lobelia Avenue , Tooting , south London . Each week , Terry would dream up a new ' get-rich-quick ' scheme , only for it to fail dismally , mainly because of Hugh's bungling . Viewers took to the show immediately , in no small part due to the ' Laurel & Hardy ' style partnership at its heart . The scripts were by John Chapman , later to pen another classic Terry Scott sitcom - ' Happy Ever After ' . In the opening episode - ' Fully Incomprehensive ' - Terry decides to start his own insurance agency , after reading in ' The Times ' of the huge profits made by other companies . To find out the mechanics of the business , he and Hugh visit a real insurance agency , under the guise of Terry taking out a policy on his friend . But the manager , noticing Terry's substantial girth , tries to persuade Hugh to take out a policy on him instead . After placing a sign advertising their new business over their front door , Scott and Lloyd receive a visit from their neighbour Mr . Crispin , who threatens to report them . Terry counterattacks by threatening to report him for breeding ferrets in his kitchen . Desperate to sign their first client , Terry and Hugh visit the Wormolds , a senile , accident-prone old couple , but nothing comes of it . They then talk the manager of the insurance company into taking out a policy , but as he leaves the house , Terry's sign falls on the man's head , thus necessitating an immediate claim . ' Hugh and I ' will come as a shock to anyone accustomed to ' Terry & June ' . Scott's character is pompous , snobbish , and unashamedly rude . Watch Scott in the ' Bless This House ' movie to get an idea what this character is like . The irreplaceable Patricia Hayes crops up as ' Mrs . Wormwold ' , with Cyril Smith ( no relation to the ex-Liberal M . P . ) as her husband . Following Smith's unexpected death , he was replaced by Jack Haig . The combination of Scott and Lloyd's ' Stan and Ollie ' double-act , John Chapman's witty scripts , and the fine supporting players made ' Hugh & I ' a smash hit in the 1960's . I have only seen one episode , but would very much like to see more . Funniest moment - Terry and Hugh trying to erect their sign . " Put the hammer in my waistband ! " , Terry commands from the top of the ladder . Hugh does so , but places it upside down , leaving the head of the hammer freely dangling from Terry's trousers . Ouch ! |
400,764 | 7,743,887 | 159,868 | 10 | You Great Buttock ! | My late grandfather was a bin man for forty years and he thought ' The Dustbinmen ' a great show , in fact he could put names to all the characters . Jack Rosenthal's scripts are wonderfully surreal , packed with terrific one-liners and its reasonably fair to say that the humour was on a different level to most I . T . V . comedies of that period such as say ' On The Buses ' . It was only after he left and other writers took over that it went into decline . The cast were outstanding too , particularly the late Brian Pringle as ' Cheese & Egg ' and Tim Wylton ( later to play ' Rodney Sillitoe ' in ' A Bit Of A Do ' ) as the gormless Eric . What tends to be overlooked about the show is how massively popular it was , often rivalling ' Coronation Street ' in terms of viewing figures . Watching it recently on D . V . D . I thought it stood up very well , with only the annoying ( and obvious ) canned laughter letting it down . If people cannot enjoy a series like this anymore , its very sad . |
400,990 | 7,743,887 | 57,241 | 10 | Delightful British Comedy In The Ealing Mold | Mrs . Cragg ( Peggy Mount ) is a charlady in the employ of the successful property development firm Ryder Enterprises . One day she finds a barely-smoked cigar in her employer's waste-paper basket , and , wrapping it in a piece of paper , gives it to her other employer , Colonel Whitforth ( the splendid Robert Morley ) . Noticing that the paper is in fact a telegram warning of an imminent company take-over bid by R . E . , the wily Colonel instructs his stockbroker to buy shares in the doomed firm , and then sell them when the bid goes through . He makes a profit of £5 , 000 ! He offers Mrs . Cragg a share in the money , but she thinks he has done something illegal and goes to James Ryder ( Harry H . Corbett ) to come clean about the whole business . While waiting to see him she finds out R . E . have bought Pitt Street - where she lives - and plans to turf out the residents in order to build office blocks . Enraged , she enlists the help of other chars to beat the greedy Ryder at his own game . . . The post-war years saw much social change in Britain . Houses were demolished all over the country as redevelopment took place on a grand scale . ' Ladies Who Do ' effectively captures those far-off times . It is like an Ealing comedy in that it features ordinary people unexpectedly finding themselves in positions of authority , and the world becomes better off for it . The Colonel uses the money to form a company called ' Ladezudo ' ( ladies who do ) . Initially , they set out to save working class communities from predators such as Ryder , but by the end of the picture , they are seduced by the capitalist system and have adopted his entire philosophy . A mouth-watering cast - Peggy Mount , Robert Morley , Harry H . Corbett , Jon Pertwee , Nigel Davenport , Dandy Nichols , Miriam Karlin , Graham Stark , Cardew Robinson , Avril Elgar , Arthur Mullard , John Laurie - and a witty script by Michael Pertwee add up to 85 minutes of absolutely charming comedy . Mount's ' Mrs . Cragg ' is not as domineering as her other screen roles , such as ' Emma Hornet ' in ' Sailor Beware ' . Here she is lovable . I'm sure audiences cheered as her army of women in aprons and curlers advanced menacingly on the builders . ' Ryder ' has worked his way up from nothing to become a tycoon . He is the sort of man Harold Steptoe could have been had he gone into the property developing business instead of totting . Barbara Mitchell appears briefly at the end , her character is not too far removed from the one she played in ' Please Sir ! ' and ' The Fenn Street Gang ' . Also one to watch out for is a young Carol White ( of ' Cathy Come Home ' fame ) . Favourite moment - a couple takes up R . E . ' s offer of £100 to move out of Pitt Street , then the husband ( Ed Devereaux ) admits they were going to go anyway ! The only thing this film needed to make it a bona fide classic was the presence of John LeMesurier . But even without him , its still pretty good . Great music by Ron Goodwin too ! |
401,020 | 7,743,887 | 52,911 | 10 | One Of The Greatest British Films Ever ! | Its no secret that the Boulting Brothers were no lovers of trade unions , and this is reflected in their film ' I'm All Right Jack ' which portrays union men as either lazy or stupid . Often overlooked is the fact that its also extremely critical of capitalists too . When Ian Carmichael's wonderfully naive ' Stanley Windrush ' discovers he's been used as a pawn by greedy bosses , he loses his rag , denouncing the system as corrupt . But its Peter Sellers ' ' Fred Kite ' whom everyone remembers ; with his short hair , Hitler-like moustache , and ignorance of the very political doctrine he espouses , he's a marvellous comic creation . The film also takes swipes at the media , the world of advertising , and the changing moral climate in ' 50's Britain . If I could choose one film to put in a time capsule to epitomise that era , this would be it . The fact that after forty years , the phrase ' I'm All Right Jack ' is still used as shorthand for naked greed is testimony to the film's enduring appeal . |
401,320 | 7,743,887 | 65,009 | 10 | Bulldog's Babes | Three years after ' Deadlier Than The Male ' , Richard Johnson was back as Hugh ' Bulldog ' Drummond , this time investigating mysterious sabotage incidents involving the S . S . T . - 1 , Britain's newest supersonic airliner . The ' Matt Helm ' and ' Derek Flint ' sequels disappointed , but nobody who enjoyed ' Deadlier ' can fail to appreciate this . The same ingredients ( beautiful girls , gadgets , nice location filming , fast-moving action ) are here , but with a dash more humour . Its all so over the top its practically orbiting Saturn . Charles Blackwell's score catches the right mood of ' 60's kitsch , the opening theme song is a knockout ! Tightly edited , the film moves so fast you don't have time to dwell on its absurdities . Daliah Lavi and Beba Loncar head a long line of luscious babes , including a young Joanna Lumley , and the delectable Adrienne Posta ! Nigel Green isn't around to reprise baddie Carl Petersen , alas , but James Villiers is not too bad . Robert Morley is delightful as the eccentric cookery teacher ' Miss Mary ' ! |
401,292 | 7,743,887 | 297,508 | 10 | Bob's Full Comedy House | After quitting Central's ' Family Fortunes ' , Bob Monkhouse crossed channels to present this , a celebration of the art of comedy . Over three seasons he introduced some of the best comedians in the world ; the first show featured an 80-year old Bob Hope . He handed over a pound note . " That's for those jokes you wrote for me all those years ago ! " , he quipped . Then he put his hand out . " What do you want ? " , asked Monkhouse . " Change ! " , added Hope , slyly . Despite his age , Hope was on good form that night , even singing with Monkhouse ( what else ? ) ' Thanks For The Memory ! " . Other comedians to appear later were Peter Cook , Tommy Cooper ( sadly this turned out to be his penultimate appearance ) , Ronnie Barker , Les Dawson and Pamela Stephenson ( she scared Bob by firing live ammo over the heads of the audience ) . U . S . comics Victoria Jackson and Sandra Bernhard ( whom Monkhouse apparently didn't get on with ) made their British television debuts , along with a manic young man called . . . Jim Carrey . Wonder what happened to him ? |
400,779 | 7,743,887 | 552,302 | 10 | Don't Panic - It's The Last Episode ! | Having notched up 80 episodes , a radio series , stage show and a film , ' Dad's Army ' had indeed come a long way since its humble beginnings in 1968 ( five years longer than the real war , as wags never tire of telling us ) . In 1977 , Jimmy Perry and David Croft decided by mutual consent to bring it to a close . Not only were they concerned at the general state of the health of the older cast members , but felt it should bow out while it was still at the top ( had it lasted another two years , it would have been on at the birth of alternative comedy , with ' Not The Nine O'Clock News ' . The mind boggles ) . It returned for one final run - the ninth - at the end of 1977 . Screened on Sunday nights directly after ' Poldark ' , it continued to delight and amuse fans . The final extended episode ' Never Too Old ' saw Corporal Jones finally proposing to his sweetheart Mrs . Fox . He asks Captain Mainwaring for permission first , of course . Much to his relief , she says yes . The wedding preparations get underway - Jonesy has asked Sgt . Wilson ( clad in his W . W . 1 uniform ) to be his best man , and Mrs . Pike the maid of honour . A . R . P . Hodges is there for reasons we can only guess at ( " I'm a friend of the bride ! " , he says , with a lecherous look in his eye ) . Captain Mainwaring makes a speech , the couple are toasted , and the cake cut . By the time the fake layers are removed , all that is left is a humble jam sponge . " There's a war on ! " , the new Mrs . Jones tells everyone . But the Colonel issues an invasion alert , and poor Jonesy has to leave his new bride to resume duty , with Pike at his side . Mrs . Jones turns up , but Jonesy fails to recognise her in the dark . The other platoon members appear and , after being roundly insulted by Hodges , drink a toast to the British Home Guard - champagne in tin mugs . Symbolically , they were also celebrating the end of the show itself . The real Home Guard were stood down in 1944 , becoming an inactive reserve unit . The sad death of Edward Sinclair exactly one month after this was recorded shows how right Perry and Croft were to end the show when they did . Pike , Hodges , and Croft later popped up in a short-lived Radio 2 sequel called ' It Sticks Out Half A Mile ' . Funniest moment - the Verger and Mr . Hodges chucking confetti in other's faces . When the Vicar attempts to intervene , he gets a face full of the stuff too . Second funniest moment - Mrs . Jones telling her new husband about the nice new freezer she wants in their new country cottage . He asks what she wants it for . To put all the lovely joints of meat in , she replies . He says that will have to happen after the war . Her next words are " But we'll have one before then , won't we ? " . At this , Jones looks worried . He had earlier wondered aloud if she only wanted him for his meat . So off into the pages of television history marched Captain Mainwaring and the Warmington-On-Sea platoon . In 2008 , its popularity shows no signs of abating . Long may its repeats grace our screens . In case you are concerned about the fate of our heroes , check out the opening of the very first episode ' The Man & The Hour ' . It shows them ( Walker included ) enjoying a reunion dinner in the year 1968 . ( I would like to thank I . M . D . B . user ' Cyril Blake ' for providing additional information for this review . ) |
400,959 | 7,743,887 | 62,153 | 10 | I knew it ! I'm not paranoid ! They're all spies ! | Along with Stanley Donen's ' Bedazzled ' , Theodore J . Flicker's ' The President's Analyst ' is my favourite motion picture of the ' 60's . It is so insane as to defy description . James Coburn had just made two movies in which he starred as super-agent ' Derek Flint ' , and he saw this as a chance to combine the glossy spoofery of those movies with satire . He plays ' Dr . Sidney Schaefer ' , a top psychiatrist given the job of analyst to the President of the United States . At first , he regards it as an honour , but then senses that he is being followed everywhere by intelligence agents . He is right . The knowledge in his head had made him a prime security risk . When Schaefer's nerve breaks , he goes into hiding and is hotly pursued not only by his own side , but agents of other world powers too . Coburn is marvellous in the title role ( he also produced the movie ) , and is ably supported by Godfrey Cambridge , Severn Darden , Joan Delaney , and William Daniels . In one of my favourite scenes , Schaefer takes refuge with the Quantrill family . The father , an avowed liberal , keeps guns in his car and every room in the house , the mother is a karate expert , while the son ( a racist , incidentally ) listens to people using homemade bugging devices . Throwing in his lot with a gang of hippies , the doctor makes love to one in a corn field while spies murder each other attempting to murder him . In a brilliant climax ( which has to be seen to be believed ) , Schaefer is taken to the headquarters of T . P . C . ( The Phone Company ) . Its chairman , Arlington Hewes ( the wonderful Pat Harrington Jr . ) wants Schaefer to influence the President into throwing the weight of public opinion behind the Cerebral Communicator - a device that does everything a normal phone can do , except that it is inserted into the brain . Depersonalisation in other words . If your jaw does not drop about fifty times ( or maybe more ) during the course of this picture , you must be unshakable . Like Tony Richardson's ' The Loved One ' , the picture sets out to ridicule all and sundry - from the Cold War to ' 60's pop music to the Hippie Movement to American politics to spy movies - and succeeds brilliantly . Why it was not nominated for an Oscar for ' Best Picture ' is beyond me . Oh , and there's a great soundtrack by Lalo Schrifrin to boot ! ( I hate remakes as a rule , but this film is crying out to be updated to the Bush era . ) |
401,047 | 7,743,887 | 688,546 | 10 | Spike's Last Stand | As the twentieth century drew to a close , a number of programmes pontificated on its achievements . Not among them was ' Room 101 ' , which offered celebrities the chance to sound off about their favourite pet hates . The early editions were the best , as they featured the likes of Peter Cook and Bob Monkhouse , but by the end it was struggling to find decent guests ( does anyone really care what Davina McCall thinks ? ) . One of the very best editions was this one , featuring the late , great Spike Milligan . Though looking decidedly frail , Spike was in great form , tearing his victims to pieces with undisguised relish . Viewers were shocked at the level of anger he expressed . But this was not the voice of a senile old man with nothing to say , but a concerned humanitarian . His choices included Portsmouth ( his stage act was not well received there ) , football ( " I don't understand it ! " ) , Muzak ( " the man who invented it committed suicide . I sent a congratulatory telegram to his widow ! " ) , soap operas ( " people are goggle boxed by these things ! " ) , disc jockey Chris Evans ( " the best thing I can wish him is an early death ! " ) , fox hunters ( " you are all a load of bastards ! " ) , and bizarrely his own house . Paul Merton gave Spike good support , helping him to stay on topic when he looked to be in danger of straying off it . When Spike said that the most intelligent thing Chris Evans ever said in his life was " Good morning ! " , Merton jumped in with " he probably had that written for him ! " , a comment that caused Spike to double up . The programme unsurprisingly drew complaints from Evans ' fans , with one describing Spike on the letters pages of The Radio Times as an ' annoying , insulting man ' . Many people would say the same about Chris . As the world descends into a nightmarish hell , with the ever-present threat of terrorism , and anyone concerned about climate change vilified by the right-wing media ( not to mention the wrong politicians winning power , especially in the U . K . ) , how badly we need someone like Spike Milligan now to act as a voice of sanity , and to make us all laugh . I will leave the last word to the Great Man himself . Asked how he intended to celebrate the Millennium , he said : " I shall go to bed ! " . |
401,087 | 7,743,887 | 1,155,051 | 10 | You See , I . T . V . ? It Can Be Done ! | One of the most disturbing sights in British television in recent years has been the disappearance of comedy from the I . T . V . schedules ( discounting unintentionally funny fare such as ' Footballers ' Wives ) . The network that once gave us ' Rising Damp ' , ' Man About The House ' , ' Nearest & Dearest ' , ' On The Buses ' , ' Doctor In The House ' and ' Shelley ' would seem to have given up the ghost , resorting to tatty fare based on home movie footage or ancient film / television clips . The less said about ' Get A Grip ! ' and ' News Knight With Sir Trevor McDoughnut ' , the better . What has happened to I . T . V . ' s ability to make popular sitcoms ? Have all the funny people either died or moved over to drama ? It certainly seems that way . I was not holding out much hope for ' Christmas Night At The Riviera ' , a feature-length comedy special broadcast on Christmas Eve 2007 . I was impressed by the cast , though - Alexander Armstrong , Darren Boyd ( ' Hugo Yemp ' in the underrated ' Hippies ' ) , Warren Clarke , Sam Kelly , Pam Ferris , and that old warhorse Peter Vaughan , still going strong three decades after ' Porridge ' and ' Citizen Smith ' . So I tuned in . And am I glad that I did . It was the funniest thing on I . T . V . in literally years ! The premise is this : ' The Riviera ' , a rundown seaside hotel in Eastbourne , prepares for an influx of Christmas guests . Ashley Dodds , the assistant manager , takes over at short notice when his boss leaves because of family problems . Well-meaning Ashley is to be blunt , a disaster area . To entertain the guests , for instance , he books an obscure band called Doug Pride and His Lions . Amongst the problematic guests is Miles , a priest terrified that his new clerical post will be jeopardised by an adulterous liaison he had in a jacuzzi with the stunning Vanessa , whom he calls ' Melons ' . To make matters worse , Vanessa is also at the hotel . Married couple Maurice and Rita are an appalling pair , especially the former , a grump who gives Victor Meldrew a run for his money . Tim and his father Dennis have brought along the latter's wife's ashes , which he insists on talking to as though the woman inside were still alive . Dennis keeps badgering Tim to find a new girlfriend . In the restaurant , they meet Avril , a sexy , middle-aged Welsh woman , but Tim is not interested . The first major catastrophe is when the guests ( along with a Salvation Army band ) fall into the frozen pool in the hotel grounds . Then one of the kitchen staff forgets to thaw the Christmas turkeys , so Ashley orders that they be grilled . Dennis's urn has somehow been transferred to the kitchen , and the ashes wind up as part of the stuffing mix . Fortunately , Ashley realises this in time , and spaghetti is served to the guests instead . Miles ' wife Diane discovers what her husband has been up to , and starts hitting the bottle . Miles tracks down Vanessa , and tries to persuade her to leave , but she reminds him he got her into bed by telling her his marriage is over . . . Previewing this in the ' Radio Times ' , Alison ' Scrooge ' Graham sniffed that it was ' full of clichés ' . Well , so what ? Loads of classic comedies have been full of clichés . Even ' Fawlty Towers ' was not a new idea in 1975 , as anyone who remembers Ronnie Barker's ' His Lordship Entertains ' will testify . The point is what's done with the clichés . Writers and directors Mark Bussell and Justin Sbresni have constructed a flawless farce . One disaster leading to another , without ever appearing forced or artificial . ' Riviera ' reminded me of the excellent ' The Flint Street Nativity ' from a few years back . That also wrung every possible permutation on the theme of something going wrong at a Christmas event . How good to see again a comedy featuring likable characters . The cast turn in wonderful performances , from Warren Clarke's moaning northerner to Pam Ferris ' Welsh nympho to Alexander Armstrong as what must be the funniest television priest since ' Father Ted ' . I was surprised to find myself even liking Reece Shearsmith , who played ' Ashley ' . As ' Diane ' , Anna Chancellor was so sexy I wondered why Miles wanted to cheat on her . Pathos is well integrated into the comedy mix , particularly when Avril's secret is finally revealed ( she is recovering from radiation therapy ) . At the climax , the hotel catches fire , the guests escape with their lives intact ( Ashley redeems himself by saving Maurice ) , and seem to have noticeably changed for the better as a result of their stay at the Riviera . This was not ' cutting edge ' comedy , and didn't attempt to be . It borrowed comedy styles from ' Fawlty Towers ' and ' Duty Free ' , and the Neil Simon movie ' California Suite ' . Who cares ? It worked ! It won't be to everyone's taste ( no wisecracking moons or lunatics in top hats singing about eels ) . Let us hope that we see more of this sort of humour on our screens in the not-too distant future . A fun Christmas treat . |
400,804 | 7,743,887 | 346,707 | 10 | Go on , ' ave a bit of fun ! | With the ' Carry On ' movies proving popular both on television and in the cinema , Thames decided in 1969 to make a special for I . T . V . This uproarious parody of Dickens ' ' A Christmas Carol ' was the first of four Yuletide romps , and easily the best . Sid James starred as ' Ebenezer Scrooge ' , not merely mean but a dirty old man to boot , keeping his money under the bed in a chamber pot ! Other returning cast members included Terry Scott , Bernard Bresslaw , Charles Hawtrey , Peter Butterworth , Hattie Jacques , and Barbara Windsor . Conspicuously missing , however , was Kenneth Williams . The man with the wonderfully snide voice and flared nostrils regarded the whole enterprise as a waste of time , and in any case had signed to do a B . B . C . sketch show with Joan Sims - the disastrously received ' The Kenneth Williams Show ' . His input into ' Carry On Christmas ' would have been welcome , but its a credit to the cast that they coped rather well without him . Talbot Rothwell's innuendo-laden script stayed close to the Dickens classic , occasionally straying into the cobwebbed universe of Dracula and Frankenstein , as well as the poetic and romantic world of Robert Browning . All done in typical ' Carry On ' style , of course . The cast threw themselves into the piece with commendable enthusiasm , Butterworth and Howerd in particular looked to be having the time of their lives . As Andrew Collins noted in Channel 4's ' 100 Greatest Christmas Moments ' , the specials were cheaply made ( as indeed were the films ) and studio bound . ' Carry On ' humour was not reliant on big budgets and spectacular scenery so this was not a problem . Collins ' positive comments were overshadowed by a powerful blast of sanctimony from the editor of ' Q ' magazine , Paul Rees , who made comparisons with ' Love Thy Neighbour ' ( eh ? ) , trotted out the old ' we've thankfully moved on since ' argument and sneered : " What sort of a world was it back then ? " . Well , Paul , you would do well to learn something about that world before passing judgement . People in those days were not conditioned to think through the political ramifications of a joke before laughing - unlike yourself . I'm so glad I have never bought ' Q ' magazine . ' Carry On Christmas ' topped the ratings for that year's festive television ( Sid James fans could see their hero again on Boxing Day in the ' Two In Clover ' segment of ' All-Star Comedy Carnival ' ) , led to a further three specials , and ultimately to the disappointing ' Carry On Laughing ' , made by A . T . V . in 1975 . The idea of a ' Scrooge ' send-up was reused in 1988 by Ben Elton and Richard Curtis in the excellent ' Blackadder's Christmas Carol ' . |
400,834 | 7,743,887 | 76,990 | 10 | Families At War | 1978's ' Born & Bred ' was made by Thames and was a sparkling comedy drama about two warring London families , the Tonsleys ( working class and proud of it ) , headed by the grumpy Tommy ( Max Wall ) , and the middle-class Benges , led by the ultra-snobbish Frank ( James Grout ) . The starting point was a two-part episode ( the only one not to be written by Keith Waterhouse and Willis Hall ) of L . W . T . ' s ' Budgie ' starring the late Adam Faith , entitled ' Fiddler On The Hoof ' . Small-time crook Budgie Bird goes home to his family , and a right bunch of old miseries they are too , the prototype for the ' Tonsley ' clan . Douglas Livingstone thought that there was a series there , hence ' Born & Bred ' was born . When the naive Stephen Benge ( Richard O'Callaghan more or less reprising his ' Carry On Loving ' role ) becomes engaged to Tommy's nymphomaniac daughter Iris ( Susan Tracy ) , the families meet and it is hate at first sight . Luckily for all concerned , Stephen and Iris have doubts ( she starts to find him boring , he worries that she will be unfaithful to him ) and abandon the planned wedding . ' Born & Bred ' was a bit like Yorkshire's earlier ' Beryl's Lot ' in that it had the look and feel of a soap , yet was frequently hilarious . In one episode , Stephen went to Venice to try and get over Iris , and had a passionate fling with Cynthia ( Joanna Dunham ) , the secretary of the man - who - nearly - became - his - brother - in - law Dennis Tonsley ( Trevor Peacock ) . Dennis had been hoping to get her into bed himself , only to be confined to his hotel room with food poisoning . In another , pub landlady Molly Peglar ( Joan Sims ) suspected one of her employees of stealing from the till , and coated all banknotes with a chemical designed to turn the thief's fingers green ! Her husband Arthur ( Ivor Roberts ) had to go round wearing gloves to try and conceal his guilt . One critic favourably compared the show to ' Till Death Us Do Part ' , and not just because the opening credits also featured an aerial shot of Big Ben . Credit for must go not only to Livingstone , but also the magnificent cast . Ron Grainer composed the theme tune . Iris disappeared after the first series , replaced in the second by Tommy's illegitimate daughter Nina Farthing ( Sally Grace ) , who gave her occupation as ' personal services ' ( make of that what you will ) . Stephen was supposed to have married her too , but again bottled out . Wonderful stuff . It would indeed be a shame if this does not get a D . V . D . release because of possible fear of confusion with the 2002 B . B . C . series of the same name . |
401,522 | 7,743,887 | 74,835 | 10 | Leonard Rossiter's Forgotten Gem | Shot on film , ' Machinegunner ' was an eighty-minute play made by H . T . V . West and broadcast ( only once that I know of ) late one Saturday night in the summer of 1976 , following a screening of the first Bond film ' Dr . No ' . As ' The T . V . Times ' enthusiastically put it : ' Tough Trigger Action Explodes In Two High Speed Adventure Stories ! ' . It begins with what sounds like machine-gun fire , but instead turns out to be a pneumatic drill . The late , great Leonard Rossiter is ' Cyril Dugdale ' , a Bristol-based debt collector ( ' machinegunner ' is West Country slang for someone in the profession ) who also does private detective work . When a beautiful black woman named Felicity Mae Ingram ( Nina Baden-Semper ) hires him to obtain photographic evidence of an adulterous affair involving a property developer named Jack Bone ( Colin Welland ) , he takes the job , partly because of the money ( £50 being a tidy sum in those days ) , but mainly because he fancies Felicity . He gets the pictures but then his problems really begin . Bone hires thugs to retrieve the negatives , and they aren't fussy about who they rough up , including one of Dugdale's friends . To complicate matters further , Bone is then found dead in some woods , and the body later moved to the flat of his lover Pat Livingston ( Kate O'Mara ) . Bone had a secret arrangement with someone on the Council concerning the suitability of old properties for redevelopment . The first thing to be said about ' Machinegunner ' is that it is not a comedy . On the contrary , it is quite a dark tale of adultery , murder and corruption . There is a fair amount of blood on view and the odd glimpse of nudity ( including the sight of Rossiter taking a shower ! ) . ' Cyril Dugdale ' shares some characteristics with ' Rigsby ' , most notably a distrust of black people , but is not really a comic character . Its hard not to smile though as he goes about his business in a ' Popeye Doyle'-style hat , bribing Indian families to move out of their hovels . The film's major revelation is Nina Baden-Semper , cast as a very different character to ' Barbie Reynolds ' , the housewife she played in ' Love Thy Neighbour ' . Mysterious , tough , independent , she makes a good foil for Rossiter . Also in this are Tim ( credited as Timothy ) Preece , who was ' Tom ' in ' The Fall & Rise Of Reginald Perrin ' , and Gay ( Gabrielle ) Rose , who wiggled her way through the second season of ' Rising Damp ' as artist's model ' Brenda ' . ' Machinegunner ' was by Bob Baker and Dave Martin , best remembered for their work on ' Dr . Who ' ( they created K9 ) , as well as penning a number of other well-remembered series for H . T . V . West such as ' King Of The Castle ' and ' Sky ' . They appear here as a pair of ' scruffs ' . Watching this again recently , I was put in mind of ' Shoestring ' , the late ' 70's / early ' 80's B . B . C . private detective drama that starred Trevor Eve . The setting , story , and spurts of violence are all reminiscent of that later show . Baker wrote one episode , incidentally . Had a ' Machinegunner ' series been made , I am sure it would have been good , but Rossiter had Perrin lined up for later that year and was not yet finished with Rigsby . ' Machinegunner ' is a must for both lovers of ' 70's I . T . V . crime drama and fans of the brilliant Mr . Rossiter . |
401,295 | 7,743,887 | 96,546 | 10 | Oh dear ! I shouldn't have said that - not today ! | A decade after Reggie Perrin , David Nobbs was suddenly back on form with this sparkling series . It revolves around two families , the Rodenhursts , who're rich , and the Simcocks , who aren't . They keep meeting up at various social gatherings - a wedding , a dentists ' dinner dance , a beauty contest etc . - and each time there's trouble . Toasting fork tycoon Ted sleeps with his daughter-in-law's mother at his son's wedding , leading to her pregnancy , and the break-up of his marriage to Rita . As you'd expect from a David Nobbs series , the writing is first-class , and the cast simply mouth-watering . For Nicola Pagett , this was a welcome return to television after years in the theatre following ' Upstairs , Downstairs ' . Michael Jayston was also great as solicitor Neville Badger , forever droning on about his late wife . Paul Chapman's Laurence Rodenhurst was a perfectly judged performance ; his off screen suicide gave the series a slightly dark edge . Diana Weston cropped up in Series 2 as the devious confidence trickster Corinna Price-Rodgerson . Wonderful stuff . Worth watching over and over again . |
401,130 | 7,743,887 | 53,494 | 10 | Stan & Hilda - A Tribute | My rating is for the sterling work that Jean Alexander and Bernard Youens put into ' Coronation Street ' . For two decades , they played to perfection the warring Ogdens . So good were they in these roles that many became convinced they really existed . When Stan got into debt , for example , offers of financial help flooded into the Granada offices . You may think that amusing , but it shows how much the public took the Ogdens to heart . The Ogdens were Stan , an obese layabout who cleaned windows for a living ( when he was not feeding his face with bacon sandwiches or swilling pints of Newton & Ridley's ) , and Hilda , a head-scarved harridan with a fondness for gossip , not to say singing out of tune . They lived in less than opulent surroundings . Who can forget those plaster ducks on the ' muriel ' ( mural ) ? In spite of their constant quarrelling , there was genuine affection between the couple . They brought humour , warmth and pathos to the show . To celebrate the Silver Jubilee in 1977 , the Street's residents decided to ride around on a lorry dressed as characters from British history - Annie Walker as Queen Elisabeth 1 , Len Fairclough as Sir Francis Drake , and Ena Sharples as Queen Victoria , and so on . Only Stan would be so stupid as to leave the lorry's lights on all night , hence the next morning the battery was dead ! In one lovely episode , the Ogdens won a weekend at a luxury hotel , and to see them living the high life was an absolute joy . The deflated look on Hilda's face as they returned home spoke volumes about the sort of humdrum lives they led . The Ogdens helped make ' Coronation Street ' ( I refuse to refer to it as ' Corrie ' ) one of the best programmes of the ' 60's and ' 70's . Youens died on / 84 . Of course Stan had to die too . It presented the writers with a problem as Albert Tatlock had recently been written out because of the sad demise of Jack Howarth . Not wishing to kill Stan off so soon after , they pretended he was still alive but confined to bed . Several weeks later , Hilda discovered his lifeless body . An icon of ' Coronation Street ' was no more . I do not watch ' Coronation Street ' these days . It is a different programme now , aimed at a much younger audience . I doubt whether Stan and Hilda would feel at home in the Street these days . As Granada Plus's repeats showed , the Ogdens were simply irreplaceable . |
400,802 | 7,743,887 | 509,919 | 10 | He pays his taxes ! | Archie is thrilled when he receives expensive gifts from an old army buddy called Eddie Frazier , now a successful car salesman . He is even more delighted when Eddie announces his intention to pay him a visit . Mike does not want to meet Eddie as he regards millionaires with deep suspicion . But Archie insists that he and Gloria cancel their planned trip to the movies . It is obvious that he is envious of Eddie's success . The following evening , Eddie shows up , along with a couple of other of Archie's army pals , and a drunken , joyous reunion ensues . Eddie is very much the life and soul of the party , laughing and cracking jokes . However , Mike overhears Eddie's telephone call to his son , and sees the millionaire in an entirely different light . . . ' All In The Family ' was the American version of Johnny Speight's ' Till Death Us Do Part ' . Though the latter was enormously popular in Britain , the former never caught on here . Only 41 of the 202 episodes were screened by the B . B . C . , mostly in late night slots ( ironically , the inferior spin-off ' Gloria ' was allocated a decent time slot on B . B . C . - 1 in the mid-eighties ! ) . The late Carroll O'Connor was superb as the bigoted loudmouth ' Archie Bunker ' , as were Jean Stapleton as his daft wife ' Edith ' , Rob Reiner as his left-leaning son-in-law ' Mike Stivic ' , and the lovely Sally Struthers as daughter ' Gloria ' . Sensing that the original was a tad too abrasive for prime time U . S . television , writer / producer Norman Lear softened the Bunkers ' characters , making Archie in particular a bit more likable . ' Success Story ' , the penultimate episode of the first season , effectively combined comedy and pathos , boasting a touching performance from William Windom as ' Eddie ' . Only Mike knows that the millionaire is unhappy because his son refuses to have anything to do with him . A storyline such as this would never have been used by Speight ; despite their similarity , there was clear blue water between the shows in terms of their respective approaches to comedy . It is strange why a quality sitcom such as this is nowhere to be found on D . V . D . over here nor on Sky television , yet ' Friends ' is endlessly re-screened for the benefit of those with short memories . Funniest moment - Archie taking the call from Eddie . Handing the phone to Edith , he dashes upstairs . Then we hear a toilet being flushed ! ( another groundbreaking aspect of the show , incidentally ) |
401,056 | 7,743,887 | 166,396 | 10 | Lucky sods ! | Good British film comedies are rare these days , but every now and then someone manages to come up with a cracker . Ten years ago , ' Waking Ned ' , written and directed by Kirk Jones , was just such a movie . Set in the town of Tullymore ( population : 52 ) on the coast of Ireland , it concerns two old friends , Jackie O'Shea ( Ian Bannen ) and Michael O'Sullivan ( David Kelly ) who , on discovering that a local person has scooped a colossal fortune on the Lottery , set about trying to discover the identity of the winner . Suspicion even falls on Jackie himself at one point . The lucky man is one Ned Devine . Visiting him at his cottage , Jackie finds him dead in front of his television , having succumbed to a heart attack as the result of shock brought on by his win . Ned had written his name on the back of the ticket . Not wishing to see the money go unclaimed ( it was a Rollover week ) , Jackie persuades Michael to try and pass himself off as Ned . But will the man from the Lottery be fooled ? Its a simple idea , yet written and performed to perfection . The cast are marvellous , particularly the late Scottish actor Ian Bannen as ' Jackie ' . He gets the Irish accent to a tee and he and David Kelly make a great comic team . Kelly is probably best remembered for his role ( which never did him justice in my view ) as ' Albert Riddle ' in the long-running I . T . V . sitcom ' Robin's Nest ' . James Nesbitt crops up as the pig farmer ' Pig Finn ' , unhappy because the lovely Maggie won't let him near her on account of the fact he stinks of pigs . The humour is natural , not forced as with a lot of other comedies . If the idea of a close-knit community where everyone knows each other's business and gets on well with neighbours seems far-fetched , take it from me - such places exist . I lived in Ireland for a time , and the film's depiction of the country and its people is accurate . There are many moments of laugh-out loud comedy to relish , such as the sight of Michael riding his motorbike in the nude , and Michael finding a chicken leg on Ned's floor and mistaking it for his intestines ( or ' intest-ines ' as he calls them ) . The ending will warm even the coldest heart . But my favourite bit is Jackie attempting to close the late Ned's mouth and causing his false teeth to fly out ! ' Father Ted ' was funny , but so is this , and its much nearer to reality . A real treat ! |
401,241 | 7,743,887 | 77,031 | 10 | Where's Me Shirt ? | ' The Incredible Hulk ' television series was the inspiration for a long-running joke in the U . K . It went as follows : " why does the Hulk always sound so angry ? You would too if your body grew to three times its normal size and yet your trousers stayed the same . " . Everyone from Ken Dodd to Eddie Large used it in their act at one time or other . I only mention it because it gives you an idea how popular this series was in the late ' 70's / early ' 80's . Loosely based on the Marvel comic book of the same name , ' T . I . H . ' told the story of Dr . David Banner ( Bill Bixby ) , a brilliant scientist who got an accidental overdose of gamma radiation during an experiment , and then when stressed out turned into the Hulk - a grotesque , powerful monster with skin the colour of vomit and a tendency towards mindless destruction . This being a family show , of course , he wasn't too violent , and dealt with the bad guys usually by picking them up and hurling them into rivers . He also got through a lot of shirts during the course of the series . Banner was thought to have perished when his lab blew up , but a nosey reporter by the name of ' McGee ' ( Jack Colvin ) was keen to get at the truth and so dogged him every step of the way , a sort of ' Lieutenant Gerard ' to Banner's ' Richard Kimble ' . Each week , Banner turned up in a different location , got a job ( altering his surname so that it still began with ' B ' ) , became involved with a local problem , which he then solved by ' Hulking out ' . Perhaps the show should have been retitled ' The Incredible Social Worker ' . The Hulk , as a rule , only made two appearances per episode , with Bixby's ' Banner ' carrying the show . The actor was familiar to viewers thanks to ' My Favourite Martian ' and ' The Magician ' . I always felt that he was an underrated performer who sadly never got the parts he deserved . I'm sure he could not have been too pleased when the script for the ' Hulk ' pilot landed on his doormat , but to his credit , he brought a quiet dignity to the role , much as Richard Basehart did with ' Admiral Nelson ' in ' Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea ' . Jack Colvin ( another underrated actor ) was equally excellent as ' McGee ' . One of the best episodes - ' Proof Positive ' - had McGee ( Banner did not appear that week ) explaining his motivations for hunting the creature . Muscle-man Lou Ferrigno proved the perfect embodiment of the Hulk . Much better than any C . G . I . rubbish . Critics in the U . K . reacted with disbelief when ' T . I . H . ' first appeared . Margaret Forwood of ' The Sun ' said that it was ' even sillier than the Man From Atlantis ' , while another likened the Hulk to the ' Jolly Green Giant ' . The public ignored the complaints and made the show a hit that ran for five years . I personally found it a refreshing change of pace after the high campery of superhero shows such as ' Batman ' and ' Wonder Woman ' . A trio of Hulk T . V . movies cropped up at the end of the ' 80's , but they were not much good . The first two featured ludicrous versions of two other Marvel characters - ' The Mighty Thor ' and ' Daredevil ' . More recently , we have had Ang Lee's ' Hulk ' ( 2003 ) and now a new one starring Edward Norton . But for me Dr . Banner will always be wearing flares and keeping an eye out for that guy from ' The National Register ' . |
401,366 | 7,743,887 | 58,248 | 10 | Blackly Comic | Based on ' Don Among The Dead Men ' by C . E . Vulliamy , this little-seen British film stars Leo McKern as Professor Bowles-Ottery , a misanthrope who dreams of becoming a ' benevolent ' dictator . During a live television interview , he rants : " We must eliminate the mad , sterilise the incompetent . We must clean up the Human Race or else we will all perish ! " . He gets his chance to put his theories into effect when he accidentally invents a gas capable of inducing a drunken state of euphoria , leading to death . Soon he begins using it on people he regards as serious threats to society . Anyone who thinks of British film comedy of the ' 60's purely in terms of ' Carry On ' , ' Doctor In The House ' and Norman Wisdom should be made to watch this . It is so blackly comic as to defy description . McKern is wonderful as the mad Professor , and the supporting cast includes Dennis Price and Leonard Rossiter . Don Chaffey finished the film when original director Robert ' Kind Hearts & Coronets ' Hamer died suddenly . Chaffey would later work with McKern on the T . V . series ' The Prisoner ' ( 1967 ) . |
401,511 | 7,743,887 | 131,163 | 10 | There's this Irishman . . . | 1971 was a vintage year for B . B . C . comedy all right , what with ' The Two Ronnies ' getting underway , and Dave Allen beginning his marvellous , long-running series . ' Large ' combined sketches with monologues , the latter delivered by the man himself , smartly dressed , seated in a chair , cigarette in one hand , a glass of whisky ( or something ) perched on a nearby table . His style was all his own . He was cool . Unique ( With more and more modern comedy performed to speed , just think if Dave were appearing on television today , his act would probably be regarded as ' too slow ' . It used to take him three minutes just to light a cigarette and get comfortable . ) He told stories on a wide variety of topics , but mainly about religion as he had had a strict Catholic upbringing in Ireland , and took delight in mocking the subject . On one occasion , he even told a creepy horror tale , and held his audience spellbound . A number of stock characters evolved in the sketches , including a would-be revolutionary constantly trying to blow up ' El Presidente ' , and a Pope-like figure always being carried around in a chair . One of my favourite items had monks arguing over porridge , a dispute culminating in a messy fight . Another had rival undertakers ' firms competing with each other to see who could get to the cemetery first . And there was a ' Robin Hood ' spoof too . He would sign off with " Goodnight , and may your God go with you . " . Note the ' your God ' , and not just ' God ' . Aiding and abetting him were a number of talented comic performers such as Michael Sharvell-Martin , the late Ronnie Brody , the late Peter Hawkins , and the attractive Jacqueline Clarke . Future ' That's Life ' presenter Chris Serle was a regular in the first series . The catchy theme tune was ' Blarney's Stoned ' by Alan Hawkshaw . When the D . V . D . finally appears , why not reacquaint yourself with one of the funniest men ever to grace a television screen ? |
401,642 | 7,743,887 | 436,992 | 10 | Do You Wanna Come With Me ? ! | 2005 will go down in ' Dr . Who ' history as its most incredible year . Everything seemed to click ; a first-rate new Doctor and companion , big audiences ( 10 million for the first episode and Christmas special ) , major awards , critical acclaim and those idiots who spent years giggling at the Daleks ' seeming inability to negotiate stairs were well and truly silenced . But then Christopher Eccleston dropped a bombshell , quitting after just one series . It looked like the honeymoon was over . Luckily , the public appears to have embraced his successor , the excellent David Tennant . On top of this the show boasts fine S . F . X . , like the spaceship crashing into ' Big Ben ' in ' Aliens Of London ' and superb story lines such as ' Tooth & Claw ' , ' Army Of Ghosts / Doomsday ' . The new ' Dr . Who ' is basically the same as the old , only updated for the 21st century . Some fans have accused Russell T . Davies of ' ruining ' the show . They need to remember that there was no show for sixteen years until he came along . |
400,715 | 7,743,887 | 86,807 | 10 | Hold a chicken in the air . . . | When , many moons ago , I first heard of ' Spitting Image ' , I thought it would be at best a one-season wonder . The novelty of having puppets doing satire would in my view wear off quickly , leaving the show nowhere to go . As we now know , ' Image ' ran for over a decade . It was originally produced by John Lloyd , one of the driving forces behind ' Not The Nine O'Clock News ' so predictably it inherited that earlier show's healthy disrespect for authority and public figures . The voices of Chris Barrie ( magnificent as Ronald Reagan ) , Harry Enfield , Jessica Martin , Kate Robbins and Steve Nallon ( more like Thatcher like she ever was ) were superbly matched to clever puppetry courtesy of Fluck & Law . Amongst the writers were Doug Naylor and Rob Grant ( later to create ' Red Dwarf ' ) , John O'Farrell and Mark Burton . The first few episodes were at best patchy , marred by canned laughter and some iffy material , but by the end of the first season the bugs had been ironed out . A regular item was ' The President's Brain Is Missing ! ' starring President Ronald Reagan . No-one then knew that Reagan had the first symptoms of Alzheimer's . The Reagan of ' Spitting Image ' was gaffe-prone , frequently seen in bed with wife Nancy , read comics and loved Warner Brothers cartoons . In one episode , he authorised the use of Phantom jet fighters to assist Wile E . Coyote in the destruction of the Roadrunner . In another , he conducted a secret nuclear test up his own arse . British politicians also came in for a bashing ; Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher dressed like Al Capone , smoked cigars , and was seen taking political advice from a 90-year old Hitler . The show ridiculed Labour leader Neil Kinnock's attempts to make his party electable ( it had been in opposition only five years when the show started ) . In one sketch , he said to the Shadow Cabinet ; " We must get rid of all the people who will be a liability at the next General Election . " . At which point , the entire Shadow Cabinet left the room . Liberal leader David Steel later blamed ' Image ' for his failure to become P . M . , it caricatured him as a squeaky-voiced muppet living in the top pocket of David Owen . No review of the show can be complete without mentioning their treatment of The Royal Family . Though pro-monarchists wailed that it was insulting and unfair , I disagree . I thought the show gave them an unexpectedly human face , portraying them as ordinary people with normal fallacies . The Queen Mother , in particular , came across as a lovable Beryl Reid type fond of a flutter on the horses . When the Royals sang a parody of Queen's ' We Are The Champions ' ( entitled ' We Are The Windsors ' ) , it sounded like a new National Anthem . ' Image ' was lucky enough to be around when Thatcher was dumped by the Tories and replaced by the ultra-grey John Major . The writers and performers succeeded in making the man more interesting than he really was . The show got into trouble on more than one occasion . For instance , a joke at the expense of gun collectors soon after the Hungerford massacre in 1987 provoked predictable self-righteous fury from the tabloids . ' Image ' also spoofed ' 80's and ' 90's pop culture , such as ' Rambo ' , ' Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ' ( or Turds as they became ) , pop groups like ' Wham ! ' , ' Culture Club ' , and ' The Pet Shop Boys ' ( their hit ' Go West ' was guyed as ' How The Hell Do We Keep Getting Away With It ? ' ) . No respect was shown for anyone or anything . It overstayed its welcome , unfortunately , ending the year before Labour's 1997 landslide victory . Despite many imitations , it remains unequalled . Perhaps the show's unsung heroes were the people inside the puppets , such as Louise Gold and the late Alistair Fullerton . Another underrated aspect was the songs . ' The Chicken Song ' sent-up ' Agadoo ' by Black Lace ' and became a hit in its own right . ' We've Screwed Up The World ' was a bleak parody of Louis Armstrong's ' Wonderful World ' with Satchmo bemoaning our increasingly polluted planet . ' Every Job You Take ' , performed by Sting , rounded off the first series . ' Image ' provided I . T . V . with one of its last great comedy shows , and helped make the nightmare of the Thatcher / Reagan years partially bearable . |
400,793 | 7,743,887 | 699,359 | 10 | Apes , Pyjamas & Dr . Wellbeloved | Shelley is working on an ad campaign for striped pyjamas when a crisis interrupts his train of thought . A fellow lodger , Miss Landis , is so lonely and depressed in the big city she takes an overdose of sleeping pills . While Fran keeps watch on the girl , Shelley takes charge of the situation , calling for am ambulance and keeping nosey old Miss Ratcliffe ( Madoline Thomas ) at bay . At the hospital , Shelley does his best to explain the girl's tragic predicament to Dr . Wellbeloved ( John Savident ) . . . One of the best Season Two offerings , mainly because it gets Shelley away from the office , and has him playing hero for once , in the face of interference from busy-bodies Mrs . H and Miss Ratcliffe . The film that Shelley and Fran saw earlier in the evening is ' 2001 : A Space Odyssey ' made in 1968 . It was on re-release at that time as I saw it myself later in the year . It gives Shelley a good excuse to lighten the grim mood of the story by imitating ' Moonwatcher ' from the ' Dawn Of Man ' section of that classic . Gillian Taylforth , later to appear in ' Eastenders ' , plays ' Nurse Rowlands ' , while the thick-sculled ' Dr . Wellbeloved ' is John Savident , also to go onto soap fame by playing ' Fred Elliott ' in ' Coronation Street ' . Funniest Moment - Shelley's entire conservation with Dr . Wellbeloved , which is in similar vein to the hilarious interview with ' The D . S . S . Inspector ' from the Season 1 episode ' The Nelson Affair ' . |
400,787 | 7,743,887 | 408,377 | 10 | As Indestructible As Ever ! | ' Dr . Who ' was not the only classic children's British sci-fi show to be revived in 2005 . Beating it to the airwaves by a few weeks was an all-new animated version of Gerry Anderson's 1967 hit ' Captain Scarlet & The Mysterons ' . Though ' Scarlet ' rivalled ' Who ' in terms of quality , it met with a different fate . Where the latter recently concluded its fourth season ( with a fifth scheduled to appear to 2010 ) , the former vanished from our screens at the end of 2005 , never to return . So what happened ? It was Anderson's cherished dream to make a new series of ' Captain Scarlet ' ( along with a new ' Thunderbirds ' ) . After securing a $30 million budget , he set to work upgrading the concept for a new generation . The basic idea remained the same ; an expedition to Mars results in tragedy . Captain Black opens fire on a mysterious alien city , believing the inhabitants to be hostile . Actually , they were not , but now they are . The city is controlled by computers built by the Mysterons , and they swear vengeance against Mankind . They turn Black into their top agent , and on returning to Earth he begins a war of nerves against the Spectrum organisation , commanded by Colonel White . All Spectrum operatives are named after colours . The Mysterons have the power of ' retro-metabolism ' , meaning that they can kill a person and then construct a replica under their control . This happens to Captain Scarlet , but he recovers and becomes Spectrum's number one weapon in the fight against the Mysterons . He also is indestructible . Recognising that the old puppets from the ' Supermarionation ' days had had their day , Anderson decided to make the new show in motion-capture C . G . I . and High Definition , making it one of the most ambitious and expensive children's series ever mounted . The animation greatly increased the scope of the plots , which now included metal-eating insects , alien spores and time travel . Scarlet now could do things his predecessor simply could not , such as running , jumping and fighting . The old vehicles such as the Angel Interceptors ( now known as Falcons ) were kept but there were new ones such as the tank-like Rhinos and ultra-fast Raid bikes . The first episode of the original show was expanded into a two-parter called ' Instrument Of Destruction ' . Changes included Scarlet becoming a part of the ill-fated trip to Mars and a chilling sequence with an apparently dead Black rising from the grave . Minor characters such as Destiny Angel , Captain Magenta and Captain Ochre were given a chance to shine . Lieutenant Green becoming a woman angered die-hard fans but I do not think it hurt the show . Cloudbase , Spectrum's floating headquarters , was renamed Skybase . Again a change of minor importance . I was not keen on Crispin Merrill's new theme though , it sounded like the ' Space Precinct ' signature tune with the notes in a slightly different order . The famous seven note drum roll between scenes was thankfully retained . ' New Captain Scarlet ' both looked and sounded marvellous . Despite the modern technology , the integrity of the original was perfectly preserved . The failure of the ' Thunderbirds ' movie the year before became immediately apparent . To do justice to a Gerry Anderson idea you first need to hire the man himself ( and David Lane if possible ! ) . With all these excellent qualities , it is sad to have to report that it was not the success it should have been . Originally earmarked for a high-profile autumn launch , ' New Captain Scarlet ' was instead crucified . Without warning , I . T . V . - 1 inserted it into a dreadful Saturday morning children's show called ' Ministry Of Mayhem ' ' . The episodes were cut in half ( with no indication given as to when Part Two would appear ) , the opening and closing credits often removed , and the presenters allowed to make inane comments both before and after the show had finished . It was impossible for ' New Captain Scarlet ' to gain the kind of audience it needed to become a popular success . Anderson was understandably furious . Though the show ( or some of it ) was later repeated in an afternoon slot , the damage had been done . After 26 episodes , it ended . Annoyingly , many intriguing possibilities ( such as the idea of a renegade Mysteron faction ) remained unexplored . Interestingly , ' Dr . Who ' paid tribute in the 2007 episode ' The Sound Of Drums ' by having the Doctor's arch-enemy The Master based on a craft called ' The Valiant ' , whose design was remarkably similar to Skybase . It beggars belief that Anderson's best series in years should have been treated with something approaching contempt by I . T . V . - 1 , but then what do you expect from the channel that gave us ' Footballers ' Wives ' and ' Trinny & Susannah Undress The Nation ' ? At the time of writing , Gerry is still hoping to get a C . G . I . version of ' Thunderbirds ' underway . If he is successful ( and one hopes he is ) , he would do well to ensure it goes out anywhere other than I . T . V . - 1 . Judging by its well-publicised phone-in scandals and increasingly bad programmes , it would seem that the Mysterons are now in charge , not Michael Grade ! |
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