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436,475 | 9,938,570 | 427,688 | 1 | The Possessed | Cassidy ( Kacia Brady ) puts a gun in her mouth blowing the back of her head out on boyfriend Neal ( Jason Dibler ) . Cassidy was the lead singer of a " demons and death " rock band who couldn't shake the sad feelings of her boyfriend's neglect towards her ( you know , I can find other reasonable ways to solve this other than putting a bullet through your head ) . She returns , however , possessing the soul of Dora ( Jill Small ) her friend who is to replace her on vocals so that the group can finish the album halted by Cassidy's untimely death . But , Cassidy made a deal with the dark one and souls are to be collected . . she's consumed by this anger towards mainly Neal , but all the band members or anyone within the music studio get dead when they fall prey to whom they believe is a rather distraught Dora . . not Cassidy returning for payback . Lousy micro-budget horror flick looks cheap , has a cheap cast who should make plans in another line of work , and boasts cheap kill-scenes which aren't effective one bit . |
436,866 | 9,938,570 | 96,453 | 1 | Witchcraft ( Evil Encounters ) | Witchcraft / Witchery / La Casa 4 / and whatever else you wish to call it . How about . . Crud . A gathering of people at a Massachusetts island resort are besieged by the black magic powers of an evil witch killing each individual using cruel , torturous methods . Photographer Gary ( David Hasselhoff ) is taking pictures for Linda ( Catherine Hickland whose voice and demeanor resemble EE-YOR of the Winnie the Poo cartoon ) , a virgin studying witchcraft , on the island resort without permission . Rose Brooks ( Annie Ross , portraying an incredibly rude bitch ) is interested in perhaps purchasing the resort and , along with husband Freddie ( Robert Champagne , who is always ogling other women much younger than him ) , pregnant daughter Jane ( Linda Blair ) and grandson Tommy ( Michael Manchester , who just looks bored throughout , probably wanting to watch Sesame Street instead of starring in this rubbish ) , go by boat to the resort being treated to a look at the property by Realtor Tony Giordano's son Jerry ( Rick Farnsworth ) , obviously a pup in the business getting his feet wet . Along with these folks is architect Leslie ( Leslie Cumming , whose character is a nympho ) who might help Rose re-design the resort . The boat's captain is killed by The Lady in Black ( Hildegard Knef , wearing her make-up and lip-stick extra thick ) and a storm is brewing . The boat drives off by itself ( . . guided by the invisible power of The Lady in Black , I guess ) with everyone stuck in the decrepit resort , which is in dire need of repairs . Most of the victims , before meeting their grisly fates are carried through a type of red wormhole whose vortex leads to another dimension ( . . perhaps a type of hell or something ) where they are tortured by these fiends dressed in raggedy clothes with a crummy visage . One victim has her mouth sown before being hung upside down in a chimney , roasted as the others light the fireplace . One poor soul is tortured by harsh twistings of rope wrapped tightly around her flesh before being found hanging from the snout of a swordfish penetrating through her neck . One fellow is slowly suffocating as his veins bulge ( . . and bleed ) and neck's blood vessels burst squirting in Hasselhoff's face ! One fellow is crucified with nails hammered into his hands before being hung upside down over an open flame . Blair's pregnant victim becomes possessed with her hair standing on end speaking in another woman's voice . One is raped by this demonic man with a " diseased " mouth as the hellish hobos stand nearby gleefully cheering . The film , despite it's excesses , is mostly dull fodder for those who really wish to see the lowest point in the careers of Hasselhoff and Blair , who deserve better than this . Almost unbearable at times , building little-to-no suspense . Clumsy execution of the death sequences which look cheap and laughable . Sure some gore is okay , but most of the film shows victims after they've been run through the ringer . We do get a chance to see pregnant women ( . . who look exactly like stuntmen in costume with bad wigs ) jumping out three story windows . Oh , and The Lady in Black's reflected face often pops up on inanimate objects for characters to see . Tommy has a little Sesame Street recorder which tapes The Lady in Black's mumbo jumbo chants , obviously used for later . For some reason , The Lady in Black likes to visit little Tommy . He's not at all scared of her , for Tommy's just too bored to show any expression on his face , much less fear . Need I say more ? This one's a real stinker . Ugh . |
436,237 | 9,938,570 | 389,475 | 1 | The Rockville Slayer | Just plain rotten " thriller " { . . well , that's what it's called anyway } about three teens supposedly murdered by an escaped convict . There was a fourth " victim " named Steve who knows more about the mysterious happenings that night than meets the eye . Also unearthed is the unfortunate secrets withheld from policeman Charlie . His mother was a looney played by cult-queen Linnea Quigley ( . . who must've REALLY needed the money ) and he slowly begins to see bad memories of visiting the asylum for which his nutjob mother was being kept . Sheriff Duncan ( Joe Estevez who needed to speak up a little louder so we , the viewer , might understand what the hell he was saying ) and Charlie's dad ( Bob Farster , whose acting is a farce ) finally come right out and spill the beans about why he was never told about his real mom . Meanwhile , Det . Amy Rodgers ( Nicole Bueher , who might need to keep her career options opened ) can not shake the feeling that the case of nutzoid Jessica ( Amy Brown ) isn't as guilty as laid out in the perfect package as it seems that the one remaining survivor of that fateful night , Steve ( Michael Kessler , who needs to try out those wonderful acting schools that have the ability to shine turds like this actor ) might know more than he has spoken . On and on this deadened paced movie goes , but I left my enthusiasm to care around the opening credits . . they moved like a turtle just as the film does . Nothing about this film is professional . I felt like some supposed filmmakers and their friends got the bright idea to make a movie . Perhaps they had friends in low , low places such a Robert Z'Dar and Quigley who both never get enough screen time to build strong enough characters . Quigley does bare her breasts momentarily and the film shows moments of blood , but even the crime scenes are uninspired . The shoddy script and limp acting , bad editing . . all lead to one thing , a director who just doesn't know how to tell an interesting thriller or inspire a viewer to care . |
436,914 | 9,938,570 | 454,082 | 1 | Black X-mas | College girls are being slaughtered by a serial killer named Billy ( Robert Mann ) and his " sister " Agnes ( Dean Friss ) on Christmas Eve . We see flashbacks to when Billy was growing up using snippets of certain years at Christmas . We see his mistreatment from his mother who , along with her lover , kills Billy's father in the same method he adopts . . a black garbage bag as the suffocating weapon with some sort of sharp object to finish each victim off ( his father was killed by a hammer ) . Agnes was born through Billy and his mother . Billy , borrowing what he learned from step-dad and mother , kills his parents viciously ( . . as a result Billy winds up in an asylum . . after jabbing his " sister " in the eye , Agnes will be sent away , but vanishes ) . In the opening of present day Christmas time Clair ( Leela Savasta ) is murdered by someone who appears from under her bed via garbage bag and pen . Clair's sister Leigh ( Kristen Cloke ) is supposed to meet up with her and winds up at the sorority house wondering why the rendezvous never occurred . We see Billy escape the mental asylum / prison by fooling a numb skull guard eliminating him oh so easily ( one of many hilariously ill-fated antics by the screenplay writer and director Glen Morgan ) . Billy , as a sick joke tossed in , has a yellow pigmentation . The film is an endlessly mean-spirited gore-fest where each member of the sorority is destroyed in gruesome fashion . Like THE FOG remake , this film takes it upon itself to over-explain everything about Billy leaving absolutely no mystery which made Bob Clark's original so haunting and fascinating . Billy and Agnes is simply a joke leaving absolutely zero suspense . . just various bloodshed with sharp tools . Lots of blood spraying and the crackling of the killing tool as it penetrates the flesh with ferocity . The flick has a nasty , vile , mean-spirited attitude leaving little glimmer of hope regarding entertainment value . To be bluntly honest , this stinker is about as entertaining as the pulling of teeth from the roots . It's a moronic , by-the-numbers exercise which insults the original . The females that populate this flick all seem to follow the mold of Margot Kidder's chick in Clark's original . The problem with that is Kidder's novelty was that she was the only female of said film who spoke bluntly and rudely so it was funny . When you have an entire cast of these types , it gets annoying fast . And , the ending ( . . oh boy , that ending . . ugh ) takes the cake . Truly awful . |
435,958 | 9,938,570 | 372,832 | 2 | Skeleton Man | A Delta Force Army unit , assigned to find a batch of missing Green Beret bad-asses not known for going completely missing , will be in a fight for survival against a cloaked skeleton man , the supposed spirit of an ancient Indian warrior who was revived when archaeologists disturbed his grave . The Skeleton Man rides a horse and has the ability to propel to and fro using a type of dimensional portal , and seems unaffected by bullet-fire and explosives . The Skeleton Man's horse leaves no hoof prints and he can ride from behind and around his prey silently . The film's point-of-view through the Skeleton Man's eyes looks at his prey with a different color . In other words , he's not seemingly human , so how can Captain Leary ( Michael Rooker , as grizzled and intense as ever ) and his gang of would-be commandos stop this menace ? For some reason , the Skeleton Man murders employees of a nearby chemical plant . What are the Skeleton Man's motives for slaughtering endless human beings ? And , why is a blind Indian living in the forest our commandos inhabit spared if the Skeleton Man , as a human , slaughtered his entire tribe to prove himself ? As completely stupid as it sounds . Just unbelievable horrible . This is the kind of film that can deaden brain cells . Casper Van Dien gets second billing in the credits just under Rooker , yet is saddled with a ridiculously underwritten character who exits the film quite early . Rooker deserves better than this . If I were an actor , I wouldn't want this movie in my resume . The Skeleton Man is a reject Templer Knight from a de Ossorio film . He has a spear which can merely knock certain people down while exploding the head of a woman on impact . An arrow shot from the Skeleton Man's bow actually destroys the propeller of a chopper plane . For nearly 99 % of the film , bullets are shot at the Skeleton Man and he can go in and out of that portal thingee yet , at the end , all of a sudden , he becomes vulnerable to attack . Oh , and the horses also change as the Skeleton Man freely moves through the forest from that portal . The film is written and edited by clowns . The attack scenes are poorly constructed and the characters , who are supposed to be experienced pros , make really bad decisions throughout this film . The mind boggles with this film . Good for some laughs , and some gore scenes make this hunk of pure crap watchable as a trash movie . |
436,663 | 9,938,570 | 325,214 | 2 | Miner's Massacre | A group of friends receive word from a pal who has found gold in an old mind shaft nearby an ancient abandoned western town of Suttersville . Despite warnings by the local sheriff , Murphy ( John Phillip Law ) , Old Man Prichard ( Richard Lynch ) a bedraggled hick who swindles tourists with supposed collectible Wanted posters , and kooky superstitious Aunt Nelly ( Karen Black ) to stay out of the mine due to it's notorious legend ( . . that an evil coal miner who sold his soul to devil and murdered a priest's ( Jeff Conaway ) daughter will return from the dead to kill those who remove the gold from his shaft ) , these people only see the green , not the blood red which could potentially ooze from their slain bodies . Finding the gold of Jeremiah Stone intact , they line their pockets and carrying cases , prepared for the bright futures that supposedly lie ahead . But , when you do not heed the warnings of those you consider backwoods loons , the obvious result will be gruesome death . Jeremiah Stone , as we see , is lying merely a skeleton near an alter containing skulls lined next to each other as the candles on top of them light up , the pickax underneath awaiting it's master , with dust particles returning him to a grotesque corpse with demonic exposition , his eyes aglow with wrath . This hapless group , hoping for some fun around the campfire with gold providing them with warm prospects for life ahead , will fall prey to the vengeful ghoul and his mean pickax . Another victim will meet the nasty end of a shovel thrown through the windshield of her vehicle , directing it's path straight into her neck . Another failed attempt to retreat has Stone causing a frightened victim to drive his car into a tree , his body engulfed in flames as he fails to escape without harm . Another , a local girl searching for her new friends , worried about their well being , receives the pickax buried into her stomach . Aunt Nelly informs those still alive about the Forty-Niner and the curse on those who raids his eternal stash . . and pays the price for relating such information . Will anybody survive ? Or , is the entire group fated to perish at the hands of the zombie miner ? Make-up effects artist and monster creator , John Carl Buechler directs this supernatural slasher without worrying about logic or strong story-telling , opting instead to allow his zombie miner to destroy anyone and everyone who happens to be in his path . He provides just enough back story , and this is feeble at best , for the killer allowing special guest star , Karen Black ( . . oh how her career has sunken into the abyss ) to explain to the viewer about him . The story given to us has the miner holding a priest's daughter hostage , threatening to execute her as the Suttersville authorities warn against such an action . Startling enough , Stone plants that pickax right into her back , with the opposition unloading their guns with little effect because he sold his soul to Satan . Retreating to his domain , the mine shaft , Stone sends out a warning against anyone even attempting to take what's his , the loot . Typical of most slashers in general , this bunch of twenty-somethings are your garden variety victims , with little development other than some banter and exchanging of words provides as filler until the undead maniac pops onto the scene to slaughter them . They are the usual group , from the city , trespassing unto unfamiliar territory , resurrecting an evil that should remain dormant . Like many of the later 80's slashers , a good deal of the violence is off-screen . What is on screen , the minimal gore , is rather mundanely presented and happens rather quickly . The ghoul make-up for the killer is only shown occasionally ; he's mostly shrouded in darkness , the victims ' horrified faces as he catches or chases after them are given more credence than the method of destruction . One thing's for certain , stunt men were set on fire many times . At least three times , a character is burned alive by either a lantern or flaming vehicle . Martin Cove has a minor cameo as Black's former husband , Caleb , now living with a much younger , and dense , honey . Vernon Wells ( . . of The Road Warrior and Commando fame ) has the back story role of Jeremiah Stone as a human , still capturing the same type of menace he specializes in . John Phillip Law seems to be enjoying himself as the rather polite and hospitable sheriff , welcoming the outsiders to his neck of the woods . Buechler has quite an attractive cast of actresses , all wearing tight pants and smallish shirts , showing off their sleek and athletic figures , especially Elina Madison as easy-lay Roxann , always willing to remove her clothes for greedy jerk , Hayden ( Rick Majeske ) . Stephen Wastell ( The Ghosts of Edendale ) is Axl , a rather clumsy foil , used as a butt of many jokes including his " dump in the woods " scene and current unemployment status . |
436,545 | 9,938,570 | 872,335 | 2 | Serum | Dr . K ( David H Hickey ) has been trying to master a formula that would end all disease and handicaps , but needs live donors to complete his work . His doctor brother Richard ( Dennis O'Neill ) has a son named Eddie ( Derek Philips ) who is accepted to medical school . Eddie has a girlfriend named Sarah ( Lizabeth Cardenas ) who is pre-law and plans to attend law school herself the coming fall . She and Eddie resume their relationship when Sarah calls things off with her current boyfriend who is also shagging the lady of Walt ( Bill Sebastian ; Eddie's best friend who recently paid for his cheating girlfriend's boob job ) . Eddie accidentally gets hit by a car and appears on the throes of death when Dr . K makes a suggestion to Richard . . let him " recuperate " Eddie using his secret , illegal methods . When Dr . K applies his serum to Eddie horrifying results occur . Eddie's face bulges massive warts while he has also acquired a taste for human flesh . Many will die so that Eddie can feed this uncontrollable appetite he can't quench . Soon he may even pose a threat to his father and girlfriend . . Eddie Monster must be stopped . Typically awful direct-to-video horror flick suffers from a severe lack of budget , acting , and overall talent . The premise , which seems like an interesting fright-fest , fails to deliver even as a zombie flick . The gore is limited with a few munching scenes but most of the violence occurs off-camera . The use of time to move the story along can really get annoying . |
435,966 | 9,938,570 | 1,090,360 | 2 | Welcome to the Jungle | Vacationing American tourists decide to leave the beautiful , lush locale of Fiji to find some Vice President's son , lost in the jungles of New Guinea where cannibals await them , hoping to make thousands of dollars if they can snag an interview with the man . . if he's still alive that is . With two camcorders , the two couples record their activities leading up to , during , and the aftermath of their expedition . We watch as the relationships between the two couples disintegrate and what occurs when they do indeed encounter the natives . Mandi ( Sandy Gardiner ) invites her old pal Bijou ( Veronica Sywak ) to hang out with her and boyfriend Colby ( Callard Harris ) . Mandi and Colby are those beautiful , privileged kids from wealthy families while Bijou , from a more modest background , has grown into an alcoholic , smoking cigs and weed , without a care in the world . This kind of attitude would be okay in Fiji where Bijou could party hard , but into the heart of the jungle or through the back roads of New Guinea where local village militias and street thugs with guns and rifles are present , her belligerent , care-free nature & drunkenness soon rubs her company the wrong way . Making matters worse is Colby's invite to their jungle excursion for bartender Mikey ( Nick Richey ) , a rowdy , hard-drinking joker , like Bijou ( . . which is why they hit it off almost instantly ) with a short temperament , whose uncontrollable outbursts often almost get the gang into deep trouble . But , Mikey knows where to get the map whose directions lead them to the place the man they're after would be located . Soon , Mandi and Colby find themselves bickering endlessly with Mikey and Bijou regarding keeping with a tact schedule throughout their arduous journey through the jungles of New Guinea . While Mandi and Colby wish to keep a proper schedule in place to save time , Bijou and Mikey wish to drink and smoke , not as serious about the task at hand . Soon Bijou and Mikey take a raft made by natives , and take to the river , while Mandi and Colby discover that their supplies have been removed . Only tragedy awaits when the primitives expose themselves , bodies painted and armed with spears . Before these circumstances , Mikey had removed sacred skulls from a ritualistic shrine of the primitives , and the gang encountered an Aussie who has lived amongst the natives peacefully , forewarning them to leave well enough alone or else . Failed attempt at reviving the cannibal genre , with incredibly stupid characters ( . . even if there is a possibility for making money with an interview , why leave the picturesque fun & sun of Fiji for such a difficult undertaking as an expedition into the heart of a jungle of cannibals ? ! ) who will undoubtedly annoy viewers . If you do not care for these people , how can we possibly attach ourselves to their plight ? And , this film doesn't deliver on the more exploitive elements cannibal fans are accustomed to . The film has little to recommend except some professional camera-work and solid editing , something that's often criticized when a film is mostly shot through the use of camcorders . The violence , by the natives to those who enter their territory , happens out of frame , or shot from such a distance , that they fail to shock you . . . especially if you've seen " Cannibal Holocaust " which is superior in practically every way . You mostly see the aftermath of those who were killed and ripped apart by the natives , discovered by Mandi and Colby's camera . I guess the most shocking portion of the film is Mandi and Colby's discovery of what happened to Christian missionaries " bringing the word " to the New Guinea natives . That and the horrifying outcome of what the natives do to Bijou and Mikey , two characters who are impossibly grating . I think this was an attempt to add a modern take on Ruggero Deodato's " Cannibal Holocaust " without the very things that film had which people look for in this type of sub-genre . |
436,774 | 9,938,570 | 382,943 | 2 | Return to Sleepaway Camp | Pointless , juvenile , absolutely worthless ( . . unless you just have an urge to see stars from the original returning to reprise their roles ) sequel to the original Sleepaway Camp ( . . the second and third films featuring Pamela Springsteen in the " prominant " role of Angela are completely disregarded , which is probably a good thing , I guess ) has a psycho-killer , in black hoody , targeting those who victimize and mistreat extremely repellent frog-devoted Allan ( Michael Gibney ) , always the center of negative attention in regards to practically everyone , in constant disagreements , arguments , and skirmishes with the teenagers / adults in camp . He's either starting trouble or the recipient of it , but Allan is certainly a lightning rod towards the inner-workings of the plot . . the film displays many embarrassing scenarios featuring the flabby whiner and people die because this . When the mean teenagers belittle and abuse him , Allan retreats into the woods to find refuge with his frogs . Allan has a crush on Karen ( Erin Broderick ) who assists her friends in playing a practical joke leaving him quite scorned resulting in quite the killing spree towards those who delighted in his misery . A penis is pulled from a counselor whose bound , by rope , to a tree . A female counselor gets her head and face twisted in barbwire while attempting to flee in a jeep . A black teen girl , often at heated odds with Allan , is squashed by a mattress of nails . The head counselor over the Camp has his head caught in a cage after awakening from a hammer blow to the head , tied , with rats to feed through his face , shown gnawing within his torso . One pot-smoking slacker is burned alive after being force-fed gasoline , with his stomach exploding . A real practical joker who often bullied Allan gets a wooden spike stabbed through his eye . And , a vulgar cook who ridiculed Allan endlessly , gets his face shoved into cooking grease . Lots of of-screen violence , but some gore should please those who found the original SC lacking in this department . Fans of the franchise ( . . which I'm not ) might find this irresistible , because RETURN feels positively dated , attempting futilely ( . . in my opinion , at least ) at sophomoric humor , failing miserably . Cast of really obnoxious teens and profane adults couldn't die fast enough as far as I was concerned . Perhaps many will feel this captures the wacky spirit of the original , RETURN is an aimless exercise highlighting the crude and unruly behavior / shenanigans of the camp's teenagers . . the adults who are supposed to be in charge of supervising these brats are about as bad , if not worse . The film feels like it was written by 13 year olds and we are witnesses to wedgies , lighted farts , fat-jokes / gags , and other grating activities . As I pointed out already , I'm pretty sure a whole bawdy crowd will embrace this with open arms just for it featuring returning " stars " , Paul DeAngelo as counselor Ronnie ( . . still in stunning athletic shape , but still lacking in the acting department ) , Jonathan Tiersten as Ricky ( . . blond this time , still needing his mouth washed out with soap ) and special guest Felissa Rose as Angela in a cameo ( . . and in another secret role as well ) . WE have a sheriff often popping up after murders take place trying to keep everyone civil as a killer is on the loose . The identity of the killer will surprise no one unless you are REALLY that gullible and / or easily fooled . Sad and unfortunate , this was Isaac Hayes ' last role , playing a very disgruntled cook . Vincent Pastore is the lead camp counselor with a special fondness for his pet bird he often embraces with a kiss . |
436,345 | 9,938,570 | 124,102 | 2 | Dee Snider's Strangeland | Now this is one sick puppy . If there ever was a totally worthless film , STRANGELAND is just that . Dee Snider's name is all over this dreck regarding a sicko with a body modification fetish who uses the internet to lure victims to his home where he bounds them in his basement , torturing them through the use of hooks and other metallic weapons which pierce / penetrate flesh . I'm not sure what crowd this caters to besides those fascinated with the film's content . Dee Snider , in a positively dreadful performance , portrays the weirdo of the film , Carleton Hendricks who used the internet name Capt Howdy ( . . from THE EXORCIST ) on a teen chat site to communicate with girls and boys . Mike Gage ( Hevin Gage ) becomes personally involved with the case of Hendricks when his beautiful daughter Genevieve ( Linda Cardellini ) is kidnapped and tortured by the freak . Gage needs help from a niece ( Amy Smart ) regarding the hunt for his culprit because he's not exactly tech / internet savvy . Gage's wife is portrayed by Elizabeth Peña . Robert Englund is a white trash caricature , Jackson Roth , who stirs up a mob who hang Hendricks after he's released from an asylum , later becoming a target when Carleton doesn't die . Barbara Champion is a Christian group leader who also becomes a victim of Hendricks ' , attending his lynching , voicing her disapproval for his being released on the streets . The opening of the film elaborates Hendricks ' lifestyle , his torture lair , and Gage's pursuit in catching him . Then after he's caught through some stellar detective work by Gage , the court lets him out after about three years in an institution which itself is a load of hogwash . Embarrassingly , we are supposed to accept that Hendricks would transform into a timid , shy brand new human being from the sadistic scumbag he once was , in a sick way of garnering sympathy once he's treated to a wrongful lynching . Oh , and his pills are what help keep Capt Howdy at bay . . once he loses his pills , Howdy emerges and those who attempted to lynch him are in for a world of hurt . And , the film attempts to have us believe that Hendricks would be able to kidnap Genevieve again . . this was simply unacceptable as far as I'm concerned , that Carleton could be able to secure Genevieve once again so rather easily . Anyway , it's written by Snider so what do you expect ? The film is brutal featuring skin often torn through by hooks and we often see mouths stitched shut , as victims can not cry out for help . Carleton's mouth is constantly spouting gibberish regarding his insane philosophies . Film emphasizes the threat that the internet poses towards teenagers who incite gatherings with mysterious people they do not even know . . that message does have relevance , but it's muddied within such an ugly freakshow . The film awakens us to an entire subculture , regarding those who embrace external expression ( . . the term " modern primitives " ) through tattoos and piercings . |
435,833 | 9,938,570 | 200,469 | 2 | Bats | Two huge virus-based bats from Indonesia escape from mad scientist Dr . McCabe's lab infecting others in the dusty realm of small Gallup , Texas where Sheriff Kimsey ( Lou Diamond Phillips ) finds citizens being attacked viciously . The Center for Disease Control call on Dr . Casper ( Dina Meyer ) to help figure out how to stop the bats from spreading the infection on bats throughout the country . She is bewildered at why fruit bats would turn carnivorous , assaulting humans and finds that McCabe designed for them to do so . When asked why McCabe would design these bats to do such things , he answers , " Because we're scientists . That's what we do . " Okey dokey . With help from Casper's partner Jimmy ( Leon ) , she'll assist Kimsey in trying to trap the " roost " ( this is a term describing the entire bat group collectively in one location ) annihilating everyone of them before they have a chance to move on to another spot . But , will McCabe allow them to destroy the monsters he created ( . . for the military . . yawn ) ? And , better yet , will the bats comply to their wishes of staying put ? In the center of the film , Gallup is attacked by the swarming bats with people dropping dead one after the other . Really , really stupid " animals run amok " flick doesn't have a smart bone in it's body . And , the director tries convincing us with rubber bats ( which look like rubber bats ) through dizzying editing techniques and blurry stretches of the camera lens as they attack . Truth be told , they are about as menacing as Kermit the frog . Even worse , they expect us to believe that bats can throw a large male through a windshield while tossing others grown men through windowed doors . The film is an unintentionally hilarious monster flick . The cast try their best with a dumb plot . |
435,667 | 9,938,570 | 418,627 | 2 | The Scarecrow reviews " Death Tunnel " | There's this supposed fun little initiation for four girls chosen by a supposed hunk for a supposed popularity push . So the initiation takes place in an old Kentucky institution for researching and housing those who were infected by a white plague . The film's creators thought it neat to claim this film was based on real events , but the film is far from believable even as a phantasmagoria of horror . Where Booth desires to hit like a ton of bricks with thrills through a massacre of jump cuts and plays with photography and film speeds , the film comes off amateurish and laughable . When a sequence in the film is supposed to be scary , it comes off as so silly one can't help but chuckle under his breath . The idea seems thrilling enough . Four girls trying to find their way out of this huge building of decay with ghosts of those who died of disease and violence ( it's offered in the story that the administrative doctor attempting the creation of the cure may've experimented and murdered many with the compound amongst a number of other horrific acts of violence such as suicide ) . But , it appears that the director Booth through his film roll in a blender and mixed it all up so that the story is all over the place and hard to decipher through . While the film desires to say that it seems the girls are here ( as is Richie , the hunk who finds that his friends were eliminated by those ghosts running amok ) for a purpose , the film's original idea of watching characters being chased loses steam . The film is just poorly executed and hard to stay interested in . Instead of keeping the film still at all , it seems the viewer is following a wild goose chase instead of the characters . Booth can't seem to keep his camera still long enough for us to identify with the characters , but I guess he has to take up the slack of rotten , amateurish acting . The film is just a failure . The Scarecrow says , stay away from this garbage and follow some other goose chase instead . Perhaps , you'll be less dizzy . |
436,034 | 9,938,570 | 110,978 | 2 | Texas Chainsaw Massacre : The New Generation | Sick-in-the-head sequel to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise featuring another group of teenagers ( after their senior prom ) unequipped psychologically against the twisted sickos who live nearby . Only poor pretty Renée Zellweger seems able to survive the twisted onslaught lead by Matthew McConaughey ( tearing rabidly into every scene like a rabies infested mutt ) and others as she's either running for her life or going mad , with whimpers and nervous twitches as a result . Leatherface ( under disguise is Robert Jacks this time around ) is mostly dressed under female skin , wigs , and dresses ( ! ) swinging his chainsaw like a madman never knowing what it might take out whether it be a limb or door . Tonie Perensky as Matthew McConaughey's squeeze Darla is as nutty as the rest of the clan , although she looks relatively normal on the surface . Sadly she's really Zellweger's only ally . You have Joe Stevens as WE , who is always quoting something someone else has put to paper , whether it be Shakespeare or Emerson , even though the saying might have nothing at all to do with the event in front of him . Poor hottie Lisa Marie Newmyer as prom queen Heather gets thrown in a freezer containing dead skin , hung on a meat hook , doused and set on fire , & her skull crushed . What's even more sick is whose ACTUALLY behind all these psychopaths . . some man of wealth who believes that what horrors he offers the unfortunate victims is means for a more spiritual experience ! McConaughey drives his tow truck over one poor soul numerous times for fun , Leatherface slams a sledgehammer over one's head ( at least it stopped there for him ) , and Renée Zellweger actually scales the sick clan's house with Leatherface slicing bricks from their chimney with his chainsaw at her ! There's a moment in the film where Joe enjoys sticking Zellweger with a cattle-prod . And , to cap off the madness , not only does McConaughey like to cut himself with a knife when angered , he also has this robotic leg that goes haywire if somebody has this specific remote control . |
436,718 | 9,938,570 | 130,633 | 2 | The Double Garden | A stressed NASA scientist , Dr . Bragan ( James Craig ) , who finally saw the launch of his space shuttle from Cape Canaveral , takes a much needed vacation to Japan at the behest of his assistant , Paul Nakamura ( James Yagi ) , working with his relative of Tokyo , using a Venus Fly Trap he dug from a swamp in North Carolina as part of a botany experiment trying to prove that human life started from plants . Nakamura's female relative ( . . I have no information on the actress who portrayed this role ) who assists Bragan , provides him with a secluded resort , abandoned by her father because it was in too threatening a location , surrounding a possibly dangerous volcano , bad roads with frightening curves , and mountains which avalanche rocks . Using the resort's greenhouse as a lab , and the hunchbacked grounds keeper as an assistant , Bragan will embark on his mission to create the greatest creature in the Universe . Finding a carnivorous plant in the Japanese ocean , Bragan will graft it together with the Venus Fly Trap , creating a hideous amalgamation which will soon threaten a nearby village . Crummy , leaden-paced mad scientist movie with a loud , cranky , moody , bossy , rude lead character performance from Bragan , who is imbalanced from the moment the movie starts until it ends . . Craig is never likable even when his character attempts to kindly approach Nakamura's relative , a real sport who has to tolerate his unruly behavior , often sustaining his nasty shouting and barking when she questions his intentions and motives . The film is obviously made on the cheap in Tokyo with a few scenes possibly shot in America . The monster is a ghastly rubber suited creation with tentacles as hair , no eyes , arms and legs carrying Venus Fly Trap mouths with sharp teeth . When the creature reaches for a victim , the screen turns blood red . We do see , on occasion , the " hands " capturing a victim's head in it's grasp , but this is never gory because the teeth aren't convincing in the least . The version I watched was titled Revenge of Dr X , but it's actually called The Double Garden . An abandoned sub-plot had Bragan hiding his hand zippered in a black glove after cutting / infecting his finger during the grafting experiment . . we can only guess ( . . after he put a mouse in the glove , zipping it back ) that his hand was turning into a Venus Fly trap . |
436,675 | 9,938,570 | 85,224 | 2 | The Being | One eyed blob monster , a product of the usual toxic waste dumping ( . . as mayor José Ferrer put it so adequately , Pottsville was chosen by Industrial governmental scientist Martin Landau as " the most sophisticated dump site in the country . " ) , with slobbery sharp teeth and terribly sensitive to light , attack the locals by wrapping it's lizard tongue around their throats , whisking them out of the camera frame . Sheriff Bill Osco , who dresses like a truck driver , even when at the town station , is to the rescue , ready to kill the monster if he doesn't bore him to death first with his non-performance and monotone voice . The blob monster could very well be the son of a haggard Dorothy Malone . Meanwhile Mayor Ferrer's wife Ruth Buzzi is having Easter egg hunts with the children , holding rallies against the new massage parlor coming to town supposedly advocating an arrival of filth to the community , and holding an opera within her home for a gathering of town folk . Marianne Gordon , who seems to escape the embarrassment in a low-key performance as a waitress and possible love-interest to Osco ( . . why she'd even be interested in someone as lively as a block of wood is anyone's guess ) , will be the woman in peril who would eventually walk Malone home and never be seen in the film again . Now , to take a moment to talk about Landau . I think we can use " The Being " as an educational tool on how a prominent actor , at the very bottom of his career starring in this cinematic equivalent of a toilet bowl with fresh smelly turds , can rise from the ashes like a Phoenix thanks to two directors , Woody Allen ( . . in probably the finest performance of his career , " Crimes and Misdemeanors " ) & Tim Burton ( " Ed Wood " ) . I actually think Ferrer , last seen in this film driving off , quite wasted and frightened after seeing the blob monster , plays his role a bit tongue-in-cheek as a constantly annoyed Mayor who just wants to grow his potatoes and make his little town a wealthy place to earn a spot in Washington . Buzzi , is and always will be , Buzzi . . she is the busybody always organizing something , and is aggravating as ever . I imagine that those still populating drive-ins as this flick came out ( . . I'm guessing , temporarily ) probably cheered when Buzzi was on her way out of the picture . I think Dorothy Malone is a sex icon thanks to her work with Douglas Sirk , specifically her delicious nymphomaniac in " Written in the Wind " , but is handed a terribly thankless ( . . practically meaningless , if the script hadn't made her son the one effected by the toxic waste ) role in this steaming pile . On Jackie Kong's directorial decisions come a narrative voice at the opening after a radio DJ tells us about rain showers and thunderstorms moving into the area , prophetically announces doom to the little town of Pottsville , Idaho . She also gives us a run-down at what the surviving characters did with their lives after the incident at Pottsville is over . The climactic showdown between the hilarious monster and Osco should earn some good laughs . This hunk of excrement will probably work the best for fans of rancid schlock . I did find the drive-in sequence near the beginning pretty fun . . the movie playing equals " The Being " in quality which I find irony in . There's an attack scene where the monster , in gelatinous form , oozes from the air conditioning vents and radio to somehow kill a couple making out . It also puts an arm through a deputy holding his heart . Most victims , though , are pulled away by the thing . Best kill is probably the poor kid who tries to escape the monster getting his head removed . |
436,002 | 9,938,570 | 435,665 | 2 | The Scarecrow passes off a few thoughts on HotD 2 | Terrible , boring zombie sequel is only marginally better than Uwe's horrible first film . It consists of a group of soldiers going into a zombie plagued college campus to find a certain type of blood which could assist in finding a cure for the infection . These soldiers are your typical lambs to the slaughter and none of them are that drawn out ( or at least aren't very interesting ) so you don't feel a sadness at the pit of your stomach when they are disposed of . The film has the typical zombies biting humans and blood splatter . It even has the same munching on guts . It just doesn't do anything for the zombie genre to give it memory . And , the story's climax is rather anti-climactic and ridiculous . One wonders how two people can submerged in an army of zombies and not get bit ( for they are the main stars who seem to always manage escapability ) while others seem to get bit rather easily . The film sole motivation is to show people getting bit . . nothing else . Just go watch a Romero film for lasting effect . |
435,979 | 9,938,570 | 96,118 | 2 | Unhappy Campers . . Unhappy Movie-watcher | Absolutely putrid slasher film has not one redeeming quality . It has Camp Councellor Angela ( Pamela Anderson . . awful as the killer ; her quips when she wastes people aren't even amusing ) on the warpath slaying teenagers who act the least bit naughty or resist her pleadings for good behavior . We run the gamut of boring , clichéd killings such as the slashing to the throat to one kid looking for his Freddy clawed glove , a kid who gets a chainsaw , one girl who gets drilled , one who gets shoved into the crapper ( filled with leeches ) , one who is roasted , etc . It doesn't have one original idea to offer and is merely a waste of time . That is unless you want to see Valerie Hartmen's ( who plays the slut Ally ) tits . Most of the violence occurs off-screen so even that will not satisfy . |
436,334 | 9,938,570 | 98,320 | 2 | Shocker | A serial killer of families , Horace Pinker ( Mitch Pileggi , really overexerting himself ) , makes a deal with a demon or evil spirit or something for which provides him with an opportunity to travel from human body to human body thanks to some sort of electrical current spawning from a botched execution in the Chair . He has one main goal , other than killing as many families as possible , and that is to kill his son , Jonathan ( Peter Berg , whose face remains frozen in a state of cluelessness for most of the picture when he isn't constantly running from the killer ) . He already brutally murdered Jonathan's mother and lover Alison . . he even kills the guy's football coach and pal ( Ted Raimi , Sam's bro ) . Michael Murphy ( why is he in a movie like this ? ) portrays Don , Jonathan's foster father and cop trying to nab Pinker and then worried about his son Jonathan sore afraid he's losing his mental faculties as well with all this talk of Pinker flowing through the bodies of different people and electrical outlets . Jonathan's pretty lucky Pinker couldn't shoot if his life depended on it because he wastes two different guns trying to plug him . Once Pinker has become this electrical traveling journeyman , only one thing can stop him from taking over a host shell until the lifeforce is sucked dry . . strong willpower or a specific heart-shaped necklace worn by Jonathan's beloved victim of Pinker . Soon , Pinker and Jonathan battle inside the television switching from program to program until his football buddies shut off the main power to the city closing the gateway of electrical travel . Really , really awful Wes Craven vehicle is bad beyond mere mortal words . It has lots of special effects in it , but the story-telling is so insipid , uninspired , and reckless you never fully know how the hell Pinker could accomplish such a feat . The film is crippled by ineptitude thanks to the premise's overall goofiness . What also hurts is the fact that Alison's ghost seems to fight Pinker . . how ? The necklace that seems to weaken Pinker and how Alison just communicates away with Jonathan . . these elements just compile to create an unmitigated disaster . By far one of Craven's worst films . . if one didn't know Craven's other films , probably couldn't believe there isn't an amateur in the director's chair calling the shots . I mean the film never makes much sense and creates situations for it characters as it goes . What a disaster . |
436,951 | 9,938,570 | 447,448 | 2 | Slaughterhouse Massacre | Perfectly dreadful , no budget slaughterhouse slasher that's sluggishly paced , with poorly executed gore attacks and wretched performances from a talentless cast . The director , Paul Gagné ( emphasis on GAG ) also stars as the killer , Marty , whose been dead for 10 years thanks to a group of college kids who hung him in revenge for his murder of their friend ( . . barely surviving this , he also beheaded by a naked girl whose sex partner was stabbed in the back with a sickle ) . Marty is conjured back to life thanks to a rhyme , spoken by four college students within the chalk outline of his fallen body . He stalks them throughout his darkened slaughterhouse , sickle in hand , killing each when they're at the most vulnerable . The only way , according to some myth , to stop Marty is to behead him . Lame story-line apes the Bloody Mary tale , to bad effect , and Gagné shoots a lengthly walk through of the slaughterhouse hoping to build dread , instead inducing the viewer into a comatose state . . dare to try not to nod off as the four students , football stars Bobby ( Vaedynn Orland ) & Justin ( Maurizio Rasti ) and their girls , Tina ( Stacey Denson ) & Stacey ( Shaila Vaidya ) trip through the abattoir for several minutes , screaming multiple times , before locating the place where the killer was finished off . Marty mines Freddy Krueger , cracking wise , as he pursues his prey . The film has an opening sex session with a couple in ' 93 , who are to be attacked by Marty , which then segues to a class room where a teacher warns Justin and Bobby of passing a class assignment or else suffer a failing grade ( . . this whole scene could've been left on the cutting room floor , only servicing the plot in regards to them being college students ) , retreating into a rather pointless and annoyingly long party with drinks , weed-smoking , and naked lesbian chicks kissing . Finally , after half an hour of tedious filler , does the film finally find itself in the abattoir where the slasher formula develops . Skip this one and save yourself an enormous amount of boredom and aggravation . . SLAUGHTERHOUSE MASSACRE is a taxing experience that just isn't worth it . Attractive leads , Vaidya and Denson , do provide nice eye candy , though . I'm definitely an advocate for low budget filmmakers , but suggest at least finding enough funding to adequately deliver decent production values and effectively executed graphic violence . Of course it also takes talent and many low budget directors have actually created a real sense of dread and spooky atmosphere . . in SLAUGHTERHOUSE MASSACRE , such is not the case . |
435,692 | 9,938,570 | 93,974 | 2 | Silent Night , Deadly Night Part1 . . OOps , I mean part 2 | Ricky ( Eric Freeman ) , the brother of Billy ( the killer from the first film ) is the psycho donning the Santa outfit . . well , for a moment or two . . this time , explaining to a psychiatrist what occurred to his brother years back . This screen time is merely a shameless excuse to save money while taking cash from paying customers who ventured in to see it . They practically show most of the first film and then we get thirty or so minutes of Ricky killing people . The most inventive kill comes when he attacks bookie with an umbrella that opens after being thrusted through the stomach . He provides us with little snippets of his past while chatting with the psychiatrist ( . . who stupidly insisted that a security guard wait outside the room . . this understanding that he's in the room with a man who shot numerous people for no reason whatsoever ) . We get a little understanding of a possible love-life with Elizabeth Kaitan's Jennifer . There's a confrontation with Jennifer's former boyfriend who has a smart-Aleck mouth and says the wrong thing which sets off Ricky's trigger leading to the use of jumper cables as a weapon ! The film has a truly sickening scene where Ricky goes on a shooting rampage down a suburban street killing as many innocent people as his gun allows him . Even more despicable than that is when Ricky attacks a wheel-chair bound , facially scarred nun with an ax . Eric Freeman is truly awful as the killer of the film . Even worse is how the film tries to turn this putrid slasher into a comedy . Dreadful trash . |
436,576 | 9,938,570 | 382,443 | 2 | The Thing Below | A creature , found inside a meteor that was buried deep near the earth's core as an oil rig was digging for a new energy source , escapes from a canister housing it . It's tentacles spring forth to enter the victim's body erasing their identity and taking control . The thing can also telepathically read your thoughts if an individual gets too close causing hallucinations as a means of drawing victims near . It's up to Capt . Jack Griffin ( soap opera vet Billy Warlock ) and his minor ship crew to find out if anyone on the oil rig is still alive and can inform them on how to stop the alien force before it consumes everyone . Clichéd flick is your basic rip-off of John Carpenter's THE THING and INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS . This perhaps could've been more fun if Jim Wynorski had found a good make-up effects designer instead of opting to go with the horrible , putrid computer effects instead ( they are so cartoonish they elicit laughter instead of terror ) . As a creature feature this film flunks because it doesn't have an original bone in it's body or a creative leg to stand on . Warlock is fun as the hero , but the other characters are rather boring . Destined to find it's true home on the Sci-fi Channel where these kind of dreadful flicks , with terrible cheap effects , can live and breathe . |
436,326 | 9,938,570 | 82,559 | 2 | Hell of the Living Dead | A group of police officers , a reporter and her camera-man run afoul of New Guinea zombies , awakened from their death sleep by toxic vapors released accidentally from Hope Centre Nuclear plant . The police officers are supposed to meet the island that houses the Hope Centre plant , even though reporter Lia ( Margit Newton ) and her cameraman have no idea what their plans were . They run across a tribe who have not buried their dead , paying the price when they awaken with hunger for human flesh . Our " heroes " soon run up against another zombie horde when they stop off at a fancy estate and once they reach the nuclear plant destination . What were Hope Centre's real motives behind their nuclear program and will any of our " heroes " survive to tell the world that secret ? Bruno " Vincent Dawn " Mattei's zombie " film " is a laughing stock of badly edited tribal / nature footage , incredibly mindbogglingly rotten dialogue , over-the-top acting , and terrible make-up ( what's with the green and dark black mess scattered throughout the faces of these zombies ? ) . Some zombies turn immediately , others turn quite slowly . There's a social message in the plot regarding what the Hope Centre was concocting thanks to the government's desire to find an answer to overpopulation that gets little acceptance thanks to a film whose sole purpose is to sicken and repulse . Zombie gore in abundance and this has to be the film's main draw . . if you read the numerous " positive " user comments , even the most die-hard zombie fans claim this one is " so bad it's good . " I just thought it was bad , but so many have found enjoyment in this laugher . 10 pages of user comments ! I was in awe that a film like this could inspire so many opinions on it . I do say that this film is specifically designed for fans of flesh-eating splatter and masochists who enjoy terrible film-making . Some really wild scenes include a child turning on his father once he dies from a nasty flesh-wound , a dead elderly woman zombie with a cat that emerges from her torso ( ! ) , and a tribal woman ( with her child suckling her breast ) eating maggots from the eye socket of a rotted skull . The slow-motion nature scenes seem like little more than padding for the film since there's nothing much else going on . The Goblin score ( mostly ripped from Romero's DAWN OF THE DEAD ) is a welcome presence in this wasteland of ineptitude . |
436,963 | 9,938,570 | 469,111 | 2 | I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer | Four teens , about to graduate from high school , are part of a prank which leads to the accidental death of a dear friend , prepared for military service , whose dad was a police chief . Using the disguise of a former killer , from the first two " I KNow What You Did Last Summer " movies , the prank frightened the locals as a manhunt is underway due to the fact that those responsible made a pact of silence . A year later , July 4th , those who made this pact of silence will face an unknown psycho , dressed in the fisherman's slacks and wielding a wood-handled hook , dying one by one . Anyone with knowledge of the tragedy , keeping a vow of silence , are in grave danger . More of the same except this one has a cast of no-names and the killer in a fisherman's outfit , stabbing the victims with his hook whose identity is a real howler . The pacing lags like a snail , the plot is on life support with situations and characters very similar to those in the first . It'll feel like you're watching a cheaper , inferior version of " I Know What You Did Last Summer " . " I know what you did last summer " is spoken throughout as if the filmmakers insisted on reminding us of what movie we were watching . The director tries to implement jump scares which fall flat and jump cuts among other modern film-making techniques which annoy rather than startle . Unless you're a die hard fan of the first two films , not needing anything refreshing or interesting , hoping for that " same-ole / same-ole " effect , then this might work for you . It's minor budget shows . Nevin , as the final girl Amber is adequate , if average as the lead . Torrey DeVitto as Zoe , the alt rocker . David Paetkau as the Ryan Phillipe a-hole from the first film , Colby , Amber's ex-boyfriend . Seth Packard as the trickster who couldn't deal with their silence regarding the participation in an act that led to a good pal's tragic death . Ben Easter as Lance , the dead pal's cousin who knew about the prank and kept his mouth shut ( . . he's also the pretty boy who carries a torch for Amber , with them rekindling a few sparks present from the previous year ) . Most of the murders happen away from our sight , showing the looks on the character's faces as the hook stabs them , although one clever death sequence shows a police deputy impaled on a fork-lift tine . And , a combine harvester is used to okay effect . There's nothing special here and I'd say to look elsewhere for a decent slasher flick . The killer's mystery , for those who find importance in this aspect , will leave you rather underwhelmed , if laughing to yourself . But , it shouldn't have been made in the first place . . a , uninspired cash-in direct-to-DVD flick , that's instantly forgettable . To be honest , I had to fight nodding off . |
436,664 | 9,938,570 | 75,035 | 2 | Panic | A laboratory experiment goes terribly wrong leaving a scientist , Professor Adams , radioactively infected with a horrible mutation effecting his whole body . Now a grotesque cannibal lurking the underground sewer tunnels of the town of Newton , the powers-that-be are planning to drop nerve bombs if the monster isn't found and killed in time , so that the viral contagion Adams is currently carrying will be contained . If this drastic decision is to be halted , Captain Kirk ( David Warbeck ) , Adams ' lab assistant Jane Blake ( Janet Agren ) , and Newton's Police Sergeant O'Brien ( José Lifante ) will have to race against time to find the mutated fiend and save thousands of innocent lives . During this chase to find it , the monster is scouring streets targeting citizens , feasting on flesh , retreating to the sewers periodically to escape from harm . Rampaging through a theater , it finds a female as others flee , tearing away at her face right before Kirk is able to catch him . The monster breaks into the locked door of a Catholic church , invading a sacristy as a priest helps his choir boys find escape , murdering him as the padre defends his kids . Kirk's boss , Milton ( Franco Ressel ) unloads two shot gun blasts into the beast before it rips away at his leg . Even Kirk is able to unload an entire gun of bullets into the thing without downing the monster . This monster has quite a threshold , as Kirk and O'Brien flood the sewers with gas hoping to corner it after sealing off escape routes . That monster is damned elusive , that's for sure , quite motivated to keep on going , no matter the resistance it faces along the way . The version I watched , on a 50 pack of Mill Creek films , is incredibly murky and seems to be cut . The movie's absent of gore and the monster itself is wisely hidden in darkness , with only mutated ( . . latex ) flesh made visible as light briefly flashes on it while in pursuit of new victims to eat . I didn't think the monster is very convincing when the film finally unveils it at the end . I won't lie , this was a pain to sit through ; positively boring , with an absence of thrills . If the plot were even remotely original or effective , I might've enjoyed it more . On paper , this hybrid of suspense elements ( monster on the loose eating folks ; threat of spread virus ; possible nuking of town ) should be a winner , but under the direction of Tonino Ricci , it plods along at a languid pace covering familiar ground formerly trampled on by more capable filmmakers . In the version I watched , the scenes of violence disappear from the screen as the monster often engulfs the entire frame . Even as Kirk and O'Brien survey the crime scene carnage left in the monster's wake , Ricci fails to give the viewer the gory goods . Just a sheer disappointment that , if handled by someone else , might've been better . An Italian production with the story set in England ( why not Rome ? ) . |
436,930 | 9,938,570 | 428,251 | 2 | Venom | Venomous snakes , carrying the evil removed from the souls of murderers and sadists , attack a gas station owner / tow truck driver , Ray ( Rick Cramer ) when he removes a voodoo witch ( responsible for " milking " the evil using snakes as the hosts to house them ) from her car dangling over a bridge after an accidental crash . Ray , newly possessed , leads a bloody rampage in his path as he aims for the final in a generation of voodoo witches , Cece ( Meagan Good ) . A group of young adults , such as grieving Eden ( Agnes Bruckner ) , who recently lost a loved one , and her boyfriend Eric ( Jonathan Jackson ) are what stands in Ray's way of ridding himself of future " cleansing . " In one scene , when Ray aims to kill Eden , we can see the snakes slithering under his skin . Slowly , Ray is turning into something else , growling loudly in anger . Can Eden and Eric survive Ray and , with help by an undistinguished voodoo witch , kill him ? Or , will Ray end the line of witches allowing him to go on killing innocents forever ? If you can accept this preposterous , cheesy premise then maybe there's entertainment value here . It'll come down to that , I believe . There's only a modicum of truly graphic violence as most of the bloodshed happens off-screen . The snakes , when they briefly appear , aren't that convincing . Mostly profanity and certain throat slashings ( Ray uses a hook to kill most of his victims ) keep this from complying to the typical PG-13 rated standard . Agnes Bruckner , blossoming into a beautiful young woman , is too talented for drivel such as this . |
436,668 | 9,938,570 | 276,011 | 2 | Children of the Living Dead | Lame-brained zombie film , with film-making duties by various participants of " Night of the Living Dead " . This particular flick concerns teenagers who died in a vehicle crash over a cliff thanks to a zombie , Abbott Hayes ( A Barrett Worland ) , who wasn't killed in a small town extermination . Hayes resurrects their corpses by biting them , and as a group they pursue live human victims as a major car dealership development is underway . The film centers of the blossoming relationship between Matthew Michaels ( Damien Luvara ) , whose father is the head honcho behind the dealership , and Laurie Danesi ( Jamie McCoy ) , the small town waitress . Sheriff Randolph ( Marty Schiff ) is in cahoots with the developers in pulling up the caskets and headstones from a cemetery burying the loved ones in a mass grave to save money . Abbott Hayes will lead his zombie troops on a raid on the diner as Michael , Laurie & Randolph hole up awaiting help from the development workers . I think many might wish to check this one out for the opening fifteen or so minutes where make-up effects legend Tom Savini goes bad ass as a survivalist town deputy who takes out zombies singlehanded . The opening of the film resembles the close of " Night of the Living Dead " as townspeople work as an organized hunting party eradicating the walking dead with guns and rifles . Once Abbott Hayes is introduced ( . . first looking like a corpse , and when the film moves fourteen years later , resembles a monstrous ghoul ) the film sours immediately . The screenplay is uninvolving never remaining focused with the film becoming an uneven and tedious exercise where boredom sets in like gangrene rotting away the viewer's patience . . well , that's what this film felt like to me , gangrene rotting away my patience . I kept hoping that something would come from this film , but when you have dialogue this putrid with a cast equally as painful , there's no hope at all . I am not sure this will even work for the most enthusiastic zombie fan . The final showdown at the end has workers , with plenty of weapons and ammunition toiling with the zombies in hand-to-hand combat ! While the fighting occurs , Abbott Hayes is shown delighting as the carnage ensues . Hayes seems to be merely in the film to wickedly grin as his minions attack pea-brained human clowns . What a travesty . Actor Bill Hinzman tries to put some energy into the photography , but that shot in the arm can do little to inject life into a film where quality whithers minute to minute . This film would've done better to follow Savini throughout the film wasting zombies rather than focus on a car dealership development and the dull relations of a would-be couple . Savini and some minor moments of zombie gore lift this to 2 stars instead of 1 . |
436,174 | 9,938,570 | 416,918 | 2 | Lethal Eviction | The tenants of a decrepit apartment complex fall prey to a killer hidden slightly out of the camera frame with the viewer only getting a glimpse of hands and , at times , a shadowy figure in the darkness . The film's main focal point are " twins " Sarah and Tess who are staying in adjoining rooms but never seen together by anyone other than us ( . . and even that is through an oddly tilted mirror ) . Sarah is the quiet , kind , caring sister while Tess is a grungy , sad , volatile who was recently a member of a psychiatric facility . Amanda ( Stacey Dash , who looks terrific ) , with assistance from dear old daddy , Gus ( James Avery ) is the new apartment manager who wishes to relieve herself of older tenants so that she can hike up the rent . Then there's Tess ' former attending physician Dr . Sheppard ( Judd Nelson ) who has been having a recurring nightmare of his murder at the hands of his former patient . Shep will seek her out because he's afraid that Tess is still not mentally well and needs help . Soon a drug-pusher Sarah has a history with named Brian ( Adam Huss ) , an old busybody , Elsa ( Michael Learned ) , and two goofy friends of Brian's ( Mark Shunock & Marshall Cook ) are all potential victims . Sarah has a transvestite pal named Hector ( Andy Martinez , Jr ) & a new love-interest named Ian ( Todd Babcock ) . Carpenter , in the leading " dual " roles , is pretty dreadful , Judd's had better hair days , the film lacks any suspense , is boring & cliché . Seek your entertainment elsewhere . |
435,839 | 9,938,570 | 267,440 | 2 | Do You Wanna Know a Secret ? | Simply awful slasher , molded from the I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER type of fodder , has beautiful wealthy college students spending spring break in a Florida condo being murdered one by one . A misfire in every category imaginable from properly built suspense to the executed death sequences . . nothing is handled properly and the characters leave little more than caricatures you root to see decimated as quick as possible . Del Tenney ( The Curse of the Living Corpse ; I Eat Your Skin ) , of all people , executive produced , co-wrote , and stars as a priest in a pivotal role whose relationship to the killer I guess means something to why he's psychotic . The revelation of the killer is awkwardly handled and ineffective , probably not surprising a soul who watches it . There are a lot of attempted jump scares , with one character popping out to frighten their friend , which couldn't even manufacture a few cheap thrills , because they are so calculated in such a tepid way . Most of the attacks occur off-screen with bleeding throat cuts ( . . or pools ) representing the only real display of violence . The protracted finale , where the killer goes on and on with the actor desperately trying to make his villain as diabolical and demented as possible , is embarrassing and tense-less . There's not one single positive to derive from this clichéd and dull exercise with the pretty cast making little effort to rise past their one-dimensional roles . And , for pity sake , they could've at least allowed us to see Joey Lawrence get decapitated or something for withstanding the misery of sitting through this junk heap for 90 agonizing minutes . Dorie Barton , as the heroine final girl , Beth Morgan , who the killer seems to be obsessed with , couldn't be more vacuous and uninteresting ( . . oh , she was in rehab , and takes pills for her nightmares ; such intriguing exposition ) . Chad Allen , cast against type as a very intimidating " friend " of the group ( . . who happens to disappear from the film first , setting up the idea that he's the first victim ) , has a tough hill to climb with his role , so steep he eventually stumbles , rolling uncontrollably with no end in sight . Jeff Conaway , needing some cash I guess , has the beleaguered FBI agent role , whose daughter's murder motivates him to seek out the killer , leading him to Florida . Jack McGee has his usual a$$hole role as a smart-mouth Florida Police Chief who is often nose to nose with Conaway's agent . Oh , the answer to the title's question . . not really . Because once you get the answer , you will wonder why you bothered with this anyway . |
436,219 | 9,938,570 | 94,298 | 2 | Warrior Queen | Sword and sandals smut with Sybil Danning ( who looks bored throughout the whole film ) as the supposed Queen of the title . The film depicts the life of various people before Pompeii is blasted by a volcanic eruption . Donald Pleasence ( Claudius ) is ruler of Pompeii , who tries his damnedest ( . . to no avail ) to please his highness , Danning ( Berenice ) , through forms of entertainment . You have pretty bad actress Tally Chanel ( Vespa ) vacantly portraying a beautiful blonde virgin ( . . cackle . . snort . . ) slave becoming a love interest to her valiant hero Rick Hill ( Marcus ) who rescues her from strongman brute Marco Tullio Cau ( Goliath ) as he attempts to violently molest her . You have porn star Samantha Fox as the wife of Pleasence's ruler who carries a lustful torch for Hill's Marcus . This is pure exploitation where slaves are hung upside down naked as the rich toss out wagers for them as if they were cattle . You have sounds of orgiastic pleasure on the soundtrack echoing the chamber halls where the film spends ample time showing the same boring sex scenes gratuitously repeating over and over . There are some coliseum gladiatorial combat sequences like the discus throw where Goliath stabs a member of the audience heckling him and his opponent in the belly with the poor guy's guts sliding out . You have an arm wrestling match where if the loser's hand falls onto the spike he dies of poisoning . Pleasence tries to please Danning by capturing doves in a net . . yes , sad , isn't it ? Goliath forces a royal , out-bidding him on Vespa , to swallow an obscene amount of gold coins . And , to top it all off . . juxtaposed in this cheap-ass film , during the volcanic eruption that closes this travesty , are scenes directly lifted from another movie . Geniuinely awful movie might be perfect fodder for Grade Z connoisseurs . . it's rancid cinema of the lowest order which might work wonders for masochists looking for the next painful experience . Pleasence's role might be worth some laughs if you don't pity him . At the very least , the film has nudity in abundance and could be excepted as enjoyable trash . You've been told , so don't come crying to me after you waste precious amounts of time alive on this heap of garbage . Fantastic VHS box cover , though . If Danning would've showed her tits , I might've been kind enough to give this three stars instead of two . . oh , well . |
436,699 | 9,938,570 | 127,282 | 2 | Shrieker | Hunk of trash only the Full Moon Studios could make has a group of college kids , staying for free in an old hospital with no one knowing , as a demonic creature with two faces ( barely visible the entire film because of incomprehensible lighting ) passes through walls killing each member who has a certain sheet of paper with ancient markings . Someone amongst them ( it won't be too hard to prove , but a slight twist is so uninspiringly revealed and limply executed you'll just scoff ) is the mastermind behind who the beast kills and must be revealed before it kills everyone . Cheap , badly acted mess has a " That's it ? ! " kind of weak ending that'll have you exasperated at why you just wasted your time . Tanya Dempsey , who couldn't act her way through a wet paper sack , has the heroine duties as the newest member of the college rooming bunch named Clark . Oh , and the title refers to the sound the beast makes before it attacks it's next victim . |
436,648 | 9,938,570 | 318,040 | 2 | Evil Breed : The Legend of Samhain | Karen ( Bobbie Phillips ) mentions , after one of her kids gets out of hand with his lame annoying jokes , that she'll never survive this trip . . boy , is she ever on the money . Karen is a school teacher taking her group of kids from the Shepley College of Historical Studies to the butt ugly locale of a run-down manor in the major dung-heap of Ireland . . surely there are places in this country more appeasing to the senses than this ? ! The caretaker of the manor , Gary ( Simon Peacock ) warns Karen and her students to stay on the path and not to stray into the forest . There's a myth regarding the Sawney Bean Clan , a ritualistic druid cannibalistic inbred family celebrate Samhain ( the end of Summer , October 31st ) " Feast of the Dead " where sacrifices are needed to appease the spirits . Gary is supposedly clairvoyant , his cousin Pandora ( Ginger Lynn Allen ) tells us , because he was born on Samhain . Funny , because he sure doesn't see outcomes well or even give advice accurately . Nearly everyone dies ( . . even those who never stray from the path ) and he doesn't even see his own gruesome fate . What this monster we hear breathing is a victim of way too much inbreeding . . it's face resembles a malformed mushroom and it looks like a hideous reject from a Mad Max picture . It doesn't take long before the " evil breeder " is killing everyone . Paul ( Howard Rosenstein ) is Karen's love interest who made the wrong decision coming to Ireland without his girlfriend's prior knowledge . Horrible formula slasher doesn't stray from the norm . It's minuscule budget shows loudly and the characters are assembly line clichés churned out yet again to be slaughtered in the usual gory ways . Most of the violence flashes across the screen quickly with not much dwelling on the breeder's acts of death towards his victims . Lots of guts get pulled out during the fast edit cuts as one scene whisks to another . Seeing Gillian Leigh's gorgeous naked body for a moment or two isn't incentive enough to recommend it . Phil Price has the really irritating trickster character , Steve , often shedding bad jokes . . how he is able to get Leigh's Barbara naked in the shower for some action is anyone's guess because I have no reason why he'd stand a chance with such a hottie . Brandi-Ann Milbrant has the fortunate role of Shae , the quiet virgin smart girl ( who is also quite hot ) who we know will be the one chosen by the screenplay to survive . Jenna Jameson drops by long enough to get her heart cut out of her chest ( at least we see her breasts momentarily before her chest is opened up ) with a few minor lines about two missing friends she's looking for . The film's main problem is that the story and character development grinds to a halt because it's realized that none of them are at all interesting so director Christian Viel just lets loose his monster to run rampant causing carnage , obliterating an entire cast almost in one fail swoop within ten minutes . Oh , and Richard Grieco has a minor opening cameo as a victim who strayed off the path to tent camp with his chick . |
436,883 | 9,938,570 | 244,452 | 2 | Campfire Stories | Two unfortunate college males , heading for a shin-dig with girls , flatten their tire when coming close to hitting a hitcher ( Jamie-Lynn Sigler of " Sopranos " fame ) on some highway surrounded by woods . She leads them into the woods " to find help " and they meet a forest-ranger named Bill ( David Johansen ) around a camp fire who tells them " scary " stories supposedly teaching them lessons about life . The first is about what occurs to some idiot , scumbag jocks who mess around with a school janitor who just happens to be an escaped convict who was able to flee his asylum by murdering the psychotic doctor performing " pain threshold experiments " on him . They get in over their heads when the boys " chase " him into the woods and truly realize just who their up against . Three criminals , leather-jacket punks , and their equally repellent chick that hangs with them , attack and rob a powerful motorcycle-riding ( ! ) Indian with a magic bag . They start smoking his stash of wacky weed and suffer horrifying hallucinations which will effect them physically as it does mentally . Two young couples stay at a country-house for the night for a little game of " truth and dare " , drinking , and sex while a killer begins to pick them off one by one while filming the action on video camera . Poorly produced , gore-less , and about as scary as a Sesame Street episode . The violence almost completely takes place off-screen and it is apparently ( because the whole film seems shot on someone's camcorder ) because of a zero budget . Each story within the film is yawn-inducing instead of gripping and the entire cast elicit little sympathy from the viewer . The second story has horrendous computer effects during the hallucination sequences . David Johansen as the story-teller Ranger Bill is laughable . Jamie-Lynn Sigler as Natalie the hitch-hiker barely registers . |
436,379 | 9,938,570 | 401,449 | 2 | Axe | Raven ( Darlena Tejeiro ) & Ashley ( Andrea Bogart ) just stopped into a bar after hiking a nearby mountain and run into a nasty group of bikers led by TJ ( Thomas Crnkovich who overplays the raspy voice and just doesn't provide much menace as the head biker of a band of motorcycle baddies ) . Stealing one of the gang's motorcycles , Raven and Ashley get run off the road and have to walk on foot after evading the bikers trying to catch them . They found a money bag containing stolen loot which belongs to the sheriff ( the corrupt sheriff who gets a cut of a stolen 300 thousand lifted from a location not specified ) . At a decrepit flea-bag inn , they catch a few zzzz's before TJ and his gang run up on the owner of the establishment , Ned ( Joe Goodrich ) and his employee , Doug ( Stephen Ferguson ) . TJ wants his loot and Ned decides the money should line his pockets so a shoot-out presumes . What none of the characters know is that an escaped loony , nicknamed the " Axeman " ( Tim Sitarz ) is on the rampage chopping anyone to pieces he comes in contact with . You have the owner of a bar , Robert ( Jason London ) who also conspired with Ned for the money . Everyone , including the heroines , want that damn money which results in nearly an entire cast wasted until a few survivors remain . Ivan , The Axeman is a ridiculous unstoppable killing machine who is stabbed numerous times , shot in the back numerous times , pinned to a stone wall by a truck going really fast , & even falls off a mountain . . yet , he still keeps coming ! London is dreadful as Robert , the turncoat who seems friendly and courteous but is anything but . In a minor sub-plot , we follow the sheriff ( Nathan Anderson ; the one looking for the loot that is supposed to be his share ) and Ivan's psychologist , Margaret ( Fiona Loewi ) as they are trying to find Ivan . Bogart is smokin ' as Ashley , wearing barely little ( exposing her incredibly sculpted figure ) and Tejeiro as the main heroine Raven is quite cut as well . They are VERY easy on the eyes and might provide enough motivation to waste your time . No-budget stinker with poorly staged axe-murders . Most hilarious scene . . Raven and Ashley , driving a station wagon , can not outrun Ivan who is chasing them on a four-wheeler ! |
436,285 | 9,938,570 | 76,009 | 3 | The Heretic | A Priest ( Richard Burton , sleepwalking ) has his work cut out for him when he must somehow destroy Pazuzu , a demon buried deep within Reagan ( Linda Blair , blossoming into a young woman ) . When going deep within hypnosis , interlocking thought and mind with Reagan , Father Lamont discovers a possible Voodoo Priest Komumo ( James Earl Jones ) who has power over Pazuzu . Lamont will seek out Komumo , against The Church's order to break away from a case where he was only to investigate the reasons behind the mysterious death of Father Merrin ( Max Von Sydow ) , in the hopes of joining together to defeat Satan's angel and save Reagan from certain future horror . Louise Fletcher portrays Dr . Gene Tuskin , Reagan's doctor in charge of seeing that Reagan gets proper psychiatric care . She invented the tacky , wacky hypnosis machine with it's strobe light and mechanical sound . She is a scientist and simply will not accept that Reagan has some sort of supernatural evil buried within ( in a startling sequence where she is interlinked with Reagan , Pazuzu almost kills her gripping her heart in it's evil grasp ) . I will not take up for the film overall , because I think it's crap like the majority , but will give credit to William A Fraker for his stunning cinematography and the great Ennio Morricone for his eerie , spine-tingling score which brings an atmosphere to this wretched exercise it really doesn't deserve . The dialogue and acting is anything but great and Burton looks embarrassed ( I read that the only reason he'd even accept this role was that he'd get the lead psychiatrist role in Sidney Lumet's marvelous , " Equus " ) to even be in it . Fletcher has her bright career moments , but doesn't spark or even glimmer in her role . She's like an actress just starting out trying to remember her lines . All this could be because they do not believe in the material and no inspiration seems to be in the story either where we follow ESP and Voodoo mumbo jumbo , not to mention we actually " ride " on the wings of a locust in a dream as Burton's Lamont is being led by Pazuzu to the Voodoo Priest within Reagan's hypnotic state . The final climactic showdown is merely the tip of the iceberg in that it is a noisy , ridiculous , special-effects laden incoherent mess which leaves the viewer ( . . or at least me ) feeling like they do not know what just happened . It's derivative and laughable and closes the door on the fact that this film couldn't be saved from being a laughingstock and disappointing considering those involved . |
436,709 | 9,938,570 | 105,121 | 3 | The People Under the Stairs | Fool ( Brandon Adams ) has life a bit difficult . His mother is dying of cancer and sister trying to make ends meets with several children by different dead-beat fathers who are no-shows . They are told to leave their crummy apartment dwelling which is so scummy , rats would have a hard time adjusting . They are merely just another case in a whole line of unfortunate renters evicted from their homes by sicko brother and sister landlords ( Everett McGill & Wendy Robie ) who have kidnapped males ( they have been stuck inside an isolated room in the basement so long they look like ghouls ) searching for the perfect son . They also have a female who they abuse named Alice ( AJ Langer ) who they call daughter , but she is just like those boys down stairs . . her existence is in a room constantly being patronized by mommy zealot constantly referring to others ' certified trips to hell not even giving a second thought to the nightmares she has caused in her . . and brother's . . violent wake . Fool is coerced by thuggish thief Leroy ( Ving Rhames ) to steal gold hidden in the landlords ' home and once inside they become trapped . Leroy is soon dispatched in grisly fashion while poor Fool must find ways of escape using different little halls inside the home introduced to him by Roach ( Sean Whalen ) , one of the aforementioned abducted males who has adopted a form of transportation as means of getting food from Alice upstairs . If there is a place to scurry , the tongue-less ( cut out by the landlords ) Roach can find it . Fool learns a lot from Roach who soon becomes victims of McGill's shotgun blasting ( he carries the blaster everywhere he goes ) . It's up to Fool to put an end to the crazies once and for all . Fool also wishes to help out the poor souls trapped underneath the stairs and Alice . As expected , Fool will run into pratfalls from time to time because the pair have booby traps and other devices all throughout the house and keep the windows locked & sealed off . This film is absolutely bird-brained . Wes Craven wishes to expose the rich and how they treat the lower class who work under them struggling to make ends meet , but how can his message really be heard underneath so much silly chaos . And , Everett McGill must have been part of the program that made Lee Majors the 6 Million Dollar Man , because I've never seen a man get hit over the head with so much and continue as if nothing happened . I mean Fool hits him over the head with a metal toilet top , a flower vase & a fireplace poker . Robie is throttled in the knee with the poker and stabbed yet continues . Who are these people and how strong can they actually be ? There are disturbing layers I don't even wish to think about only hinted at such as skulls and skeletons dangling about in the room housing the unfortunates , and , at one point , McGill is dressed to the nines in S & M leather suit . There's a scene where the dog lunges right into Fool yet he's able to defend himself against a massive , monstrous pit bull ! And , at one point Fool blows up McGill with dynamite for Petesake and his body remains undamaged ! Logic and credibility never have a chance to survive in such a film as this . |
436,297 | 9,938,570 | 223,268 | 3 | Faust : Love of the Damned | What a mess this was . There are some fans of Wishmaster evil demonic genie Divoff who plays , I believe , Lucifer here ( . . with albino white hair ! ) and he certainly has a way of exhibitioning pure evil with the way he tilts his head and twists his face . This film seeps every ounce of artistic integrity from the original play bludgeoning us over the head with Ringo knows what . Faust himself was once this artist named John Jaspers ( Mark Frost , incredibly hammy ) whose lover was killed by her portly pimp and his accomplices , wishes revenge to the point he'll sell his soul , gain from Divoff these Wolverine-esquire titanium blades , kill those who did his ole lady in , and face the consequences for his harbored anger and blood-lusting vengeance . Divoff has control over him and forces him into destroying a Chinese Consul meeting wiping out something like 19 people . Jeffrey Combs is a detective who wishes to know why he did it as Faust ( in human form at this point ) is catatonic . A psychologist , Jade ( Isabel Brook , a stunning beauty ) who uses music to get inside what makes the mad crazy , soon becomes a chess-piece between Divoff's Lucifer and Faust ( still John at this point ) . Soon Divoff is through with his acquisition and buries him alive , but the joker kills a skeleton choking him ( huh ? ) and returns from the near trip to hell as a steroid-n-crack version of the Daredevil who obliterates , I'm guessing , more than 20 or so people ( and a slew of damned cops . . I figure the entire police station was emptied into Faust's feverish wrath ) . Divoff has a chick by his side , Claire ( Mònica Van Campen , melts fervent heat right from the screen ) always trying to seduce someone into robbing her master of his power since Lucifer's human shell is weakening ( . . I don't know , ask those who made this damn thing what the point is of Lucifer staying in a weak body when he should be able to invade many of those who worship him ) . She loves showing her breasts ( they are quite delicious , I must say ) and cavorting around like a cat in heat . Jade has issues . . a buried rape from someone whose face is covered in wax ( you think this sounds silly , wait until you see the method of torture used to project who the rapist was ) and she falls in love with the John . Combs soon joins allegiance with Lucifer and the poor Jade is tricked by him into Divoff's lair . . she is a hostage at the mercy of her captors . Meanwhile , Claire who desires Lucifer's seat will perhaps get her wish . The film throws the kitchen sink at you . . are you willing to duck ? Because , the climax has this beast summoned from hell , Faust trying to save Jade from being impregnated by Lucifer , Combs swallowing a serpent removed from the stomach of Lucifer's Claire who betrayed him , and a blood , sacrificial orgy of Satanists . Phew , I'm telling you , this flick is messed up ! |
436,314 | 9,938,570 | 433,386 | 3 | The Grudge 2 | Kayako's evil will transcend the confines of the cursed house and spread somehow as a result of it almost being burnt down . Karen ( Sarah Michelle Gellar . . how she got top billing for doing practically nothing I'll never know ) is in the hospital and blamed for burning the house . . and her beau . . alive . Aubrey ( Amber Tamblyn , who is handed barely anything to work with yet does more with less than Gellar did in the previous film with more screen time ) is commissioned by her dying mother . . who always expresses how disappointed she is in Aubrey . . to go to Japan to find and bring home Karen . What Aubrey will encounter is the very evil Karen warns her to stay away from . Three teen girls will also dare go inside the house . . with two playing a prank on the third resulting in poor Chicago apartment dwellers receiving damned Kayako's evil when the terrorized chick returns home while her prankster international school chums become victims . Aubrey will attempt to stop Kayako with the help of photographer Eason ( Edison Chen ) . The film alternates between Tokyo where Aubrey is and Chicago where it appears the curse has spread into America . An unbearable snoozer which never catches fire and croaks along at a languid pace . I don't think the main problem is the direction as much as the sloppy screenplay which , from American Stephen Susco , tries cobble together ideas inspired by Shimizu's far superior first Japanese film using American actors and fails because there is zero development . The film is solely built on scares which ( unlike the first film ) come off as unintentionally hilarious . It feels laboured and uninspired , but who could blame director Shimizu when you're stuck with such material to work from . I believe that when Shimizu works from his own material , the characters are better inserted and more fleshed . It might take away some scares , but in a film where he writes and directs ( . . like the far superior Ju-on 2 ( 2003 ) ) there's a nice subtle yet creepy vibe that permeates . This film seems to want to cram so much into a 95 minute running time that most of the sequences set in Chicago fall flat . This film is polished and has some cool special effects , but they don't scare as much as evoke giggles which shouldn't be the intent but are . |
436,912 | 9,938,570 | 85,750 | 3 | Jaws 3 | An underwater sea park is attacked by a great white with a bite radius of nearly a yard . When it attacks a underwater tunnel , with many civilians trapped inside , it's up to Dennis Quaid and crew to weld a plate in place of the breach . Simon MacCorkindale portrays a Brit photographer who likes the media spotlight , but courageously offers to be " live bait " ( . . and is in the film's best sequence as the shark chows down on him with the camera recording this inside the mouth , really a remarkable effect ) as a distraction for Quaid to complete the welding task without harm . Bess Armstrong is Quaid's lady love who decides to go down and watch his back just in case the shark swims toward them . Louis Gossett Jr . is the head honcho of the theme park who watches in horror as his dream goes up in smoke thanks to the shark's desire to feed . The 3D effects just aren't very good . . they might've worked in 1983 on the big screen , but just make the viewing experience now a burden . The 3D effects look like just that . . separate from everything else . What hurts even more is that nothing really happens for nearly 1 hour and a half until the shark makes it's attack on people in the water ( mainly Lea Thompson , the love interest of Dennis Quaid's brother John Putch ) . The shark effects range from good to awful . . especially rotten is the scene where the shark breaks through the glass housing the control room with Gossett Jr and company . The cast , except Bess , are merely going through the motions and it's quite easy to see that the franchise was about finished off . . JAWS : THE REVENGE would be the death nail on the coffin of the Jaws franchise . |
436,082 | 9,938,570 | 462,359 | 3 | Incubus | A wreck leaves a group of adults , led by Tara Reid , stranded in the middle of the Montana Mountains . They seek shelter from the cold and find a seemingly abandoned scientific installation , housing something sinister within . The film opens with one lab-coated scientist chasing another female lab-coated scientist , which ends in both killing each other . The young cast finds the dead scientists and attempt to find any way out as quickly as possible . Their entry into the place , led down by a rope , snaps leaving them stuck inside . . they must find a way out immediately because an experiment those scientists were working on , locked into a bullet-proof cell holds a comatose killer ( . . notorious for the murder of his kin ) with feeding tubes inserted into his body keeping him alive . It seems that this killer has the ability to invade the dreams of those who sleep , taking possession of their bodies and minds operating them at will . He was the cause of those scientists turning on each other , behind a hidden scientist who murders one of them with a screwdriver when they attempted to find the generator which would keep the lights burning inside the installation , and soon invades members of the group when they fall asleep . Reid and company hope to find a way of stopping him , attempting to use his method of travel against him long enough to somehow escape the installation or else . But , the killer is far more powerful than they realize . . To be honest , the methods of the killer are fleetingly explained in the film , mostly through the conjecture of Reid's character Jay , who read through some appropriately detailed papers and videotapes left by the scientists . Your liking this movie will solely depend on if you buy the premise of the killer's invasion abilities . Reid as your lead ought to dissuade more cautious viewers who might not wish to waste their time on this film . There's some graphic violence ( the killer bites his own tongue out as a child in a flashback sequence , committing the same act through one of the characters we follow in the film he invades ; the fate of Jay's brother , who is badly wounded by the attack of the scientist , with the use of a screwdriver ; accidental suffocation with a plastic bag over the face of one of the remaining characters when an attempt to trap the killer while inside the body of another backfires ; the unfortunate murder of one of the group believed to be still possessed by use of a wrench ) and the darkened halls of the installation where a killer could be lurking around any corner provides some eerie moments . But , I couldn't really find much to recommend truthfully , unless you are a Tara Reid fan . . she's certainly had better days , although her fake breasts jiggle up and down throughout her constant running from evil in pursuit . I found her dialogue , concerning the idea of leaving your body when you sleep , rather funny . The final ten or so minutes I found rather ridiculous ( . . well , I found the whole premise rather ridiculous , but getting back to my point . . ) as the killer somehow , despite what one remaining character along with Jay does to him , roams free , talking awfully well for someone without a tongue , as he easily snaps a neck like Chuck Norris . This flick is basically characters is search of an exit while being picked off by a killer that has a unique method of terror . |
435,768 | 9,938,570 | 85,701 | 3 | The Hunger | If not for David Bowie's short but strong performance , some good aging make-up effects , three beautiful leads the camera adores , and a token lesbian sequence between major actresses you'd normally not see partaking in this sort of thing ( Scott's lone accomplishment in this film , because it's sure not the terrible editing job ) this hunk of smutty bile , director Scott would hope you'd find a stylish vampire tale , would be less of a discussed cult item . Scott tries to pass this thing off as an erotic European type of vampire horror cinema , but all the doves , windy see-through flowing curtains , and blood trickling in specific arty shapes down skin , can not salvage no content in story or plot . A terrible film . Oh , the synopsis , or lack there of . . a vampire femme , Miriam ( the lovely Catherine Deneuve who brings little depth to this character . . perhaps the script provided little chance to do so ) from Egypt with her pendant always hanging from the neck , watches as her chosen lover John ( David Bowie ) is beginning to rapidly age with no stop in sight . She wishes to put him away up stairs in a casket letting him realize that the whole " you'll live forever " has it's disadvantages . We also see that other caskets join him as she fondly speaks to each love personally . Her next conquest id Dr . Sarah Roberts ( Susan Sarandon ) whose field of study is immortality . . or slowing the aging process down using primates dying of a rare aging disease as guinea pigs . The film shows how Sarah succumbs to Miriam's cold advances ( one of many failures . . this supposed bond comes off unsuccessfully because Scott doesn't allow the plot to grow ; they meet and have sex without much room for small-talk ) and faces " the hunger " . . that yearning for blood that drives the vampire . Cliff De Young portrays Sarandon's lover and colleague at the government funded institute they work . |
436,955 | 9,938,570 | 887,770 | 3 | Plasterhead | Four college students are on holiday driving to Miami for some sun , making the mistake so many idiotic characters in slasher movies make . . instead of staying on the main highway , the driver , Steve ( Josh Macuga ) decides to take a " short cut " onto a country road leading into " middle of nowhere " West Virginia . Almost out of gas , the group encounter a book bag containing money and a person's belongings ( . . a journalist we see fall into the trap of a psycho at the beginning ) when David ( Ernest Dancy , the token black character with attitude , who likes hip hop and saying the f-word ) finds it while draining his lizard . Nearby town of Rolling Glen ( . . with no gas station ? ! ) has a buried secret that will be unleashed on these kids and selected citizens before the night is over . . a black truck driver named Ray Williams was severely beaten , face rendered a hideous visage , by drunken locals and dropped at the old Dixon place in Ellis . Ray's body wasn't recovered because he isn't dead . . far from it . Creating a plaster mask to hide the monstrous face he now endures , his identity and humanity lost , now lives off the animals of the wilderness , killing anyone who dares " invade " the territory of the Dixon area . David pleads with the others to leave for Miami with the 500 dollars they found , but Steve's girlfriend , Maggie ( Kathryn Merry ) insists they seek out the identity of the person whose bag was found . An address of the Dixon place written on paper in the unknown journalist's bag , Steve and company find it , deciding to stay the night due to the fact that they are in fact out of gas . Audra ( Raine Brown ) and Steve decide to wait at the Dixon house while Steve and Maggie see about information regarding the nearest gas station , heading for a local bar . That's where they hear about the local legend , and the truth regarding Rolling Glen's crooked sheriff , Earl Taggart ( Gerard Adimando ) who covered up the attack on Williams , the ones responsible never seeing a moment in prison . Returning the house , Steve and Maggie will find out from David that Audra's missing and the terror commences . Polished cinematography aside , PLASTERHEAD is simply another cheap , run-of-the-mill slasher with limited graphic violence shown on screen . The fate of Audra is pretty unsettling ( Williams uses barb wire to drag her by the mouth from behind ) and another victim's guts appear from an open wound . The killer of the title is merely a black version of Jason Voorhies . . uniform , walk , weapons , everything . The bad casting of Adimando , fighting a thick New York accent , doesn't convince as a hick sheriff . The premise has been done to death regarding college kids making the wrong turn into West Virginia due to heavy highway traffic . And , I have a really hard time believing these kids are gonna pick up 500 bucks and constantly pursue the identity of whose cash it is . The most unpleasant moment is the make-up work for Williams , seen at the beginning , before applying the materials needed for his plaster-cast . Raine Brown , as slutty Audra , fails to convince with that phony Valley-girl imitation . . a bit old for such a tired cliché . None of the characters rise above their stereotypes , and the cast is pretty amateurish . Jason Snells score loudly intensifies , attempting to add suspense to a movie that lacks atmosphere or dread . The house is about as menacing as Micky Mouse and doesn't particularly seem as ancient as the Rolling Glen locals ( . . or the outsiders who make plenty of snide comments regarding how old it looks ) would have us to believe . The film does feature a really grim conclusion , but PLASTERHEAD lacks the necessary budget needed to truly grip us . . having to shoot away from Williams ' attacks on victims proves this . Confusing attack on employees at a diner made little sense to me . . how come Williams decides to attack them ? If they have been around for a while , why would he just up and decide to kill them ? Ludicrous performance from Tom DiNardo as Artie , a foul gas station mechanic who doesn't have any fuel for Steve and his friends ( . . woefully attempting to sound and act like a disgusting redneck , his New York accent remains bleeding like an open wound as DiNardo fails miserably to hide it ) . If you wish to have realistic hick carciatures , hire southern actors who actually have an accent . . don't hire New Yorkers who sound like they came right out off the streets . A real waste of time . |
436,700 | 9,938,570 | 411,805 | 3 | Necropolis | Scientist Charles ( Peter Coyote , who must've either had a stroke recently or bad facial plastic surgery for his face seems frozen in one direct position ) is up to no good in his experiments with the undead pumping them in glass chambers with foreign agents within steam testing their motory functions among other things . What is really happening is the corporation he works for , Hybra-Tech , are creating Uber-Zombie Soldiers to enforce their will over the entire world . Zeke ( Elvin Dandel ) , a motorcycle friend of Julian ( John Keefe ) suffers and ill-fated crash , but instead of being carried to the nearest hospital the ambulance transfers him to Hybra Tech research center . Katie ( Jana Kramer ) , working as a security staff member , notices that her ex Zeke is being carried in and informs Julian . Cody ( Cory Hardrict ) , a hacker wiz , taps into Hybra Tech's main frame and discovers where they are holding Zeke . So as a collective group , Julian and his Scooby Gang head off to Hybra Tech to rescue their friend . Once inside , Julian finds out some ugly truths about his Uncle Charles regarding not only what he really does with Hybra Tech , but also what truly happened to his parents whose car crash may not have been an accident as led to believe . To make matters worse , there's a security breach which unleashes the dead from their cages resulting in an outbreak . Charles is able to break from the gang's clutches as they must find a way out of the building before being brain-food for the zombies . There are some hilarious moments where the boys have hand to hand combat with zombies while hard rock music blazes away on the soundtrack . When our heroes shoot the zombies , they seem to hit every part of the body besides the most vital one . . their skulls . Not to mention that the whole purpose of getting into this situation . . rescuing Zeke . . is compromised when he gets bit not long after escaping from the clamps locking him on a table . As the film continues , it just gets sillier and sillier with some of the most ridiculous zombies you've seen . It's really crap . |
436,514 | 9,938,570 | 1,204,883 | 3 | Boogeyman 3 | The Boogeyman manifests itself when a female college student , whose father was psychologist Tobin Bell from the previous film , reads his journal truly believing in it's existence giving the ghoul life . The girl , Audrey ( Nikki Sanderson ) returns to college where the Boogeyman lifts her off the ground , strangling her as best friend and roommate Sarah ( Erin Cahill ) looks on in horror . After Audrey's death , Sarah keeps the Boogeyman alive by constantly referring to it , researching past cases where others encountered the legendary ghoul , and insisting to her friends that the thing is real . Soon everyone begins believing it , and her friends are stalked one by one , falling prey to the Boogeyman as it besieges them . Yawner is chock full of wacky death sequences ( . . such as a girl dragged into a washing machine , one victim's face slammed into a broken bong , another pulled into a chest ) and buckets of blood ( . . blood oozes down walls , out of washer-driers collecting into a pool on the laundry room floor , out of ventilation ducts , splashed all over potential victims ) . This film is closer to the very first film as the second was more of a slasher . The closet itself ( . . a source of fear for Barry Watson's character in the original film ) has a vital role in perhaps producing some scares to more wary viewers who jump easy . The ghoul itself pops up on folks , appearing , disappearing , then reappearing once again to spook those who decide to believe in the Boogeyman . Director Gary Jones features nudity in this film and often displays these attractive college girls in small , tight shirts and panties . The film has an amusingly ironic twist . . the lead female character , Sarah , is a psych major going bonkers thanks to a creature brought to life by her own fears . Sarah even has a radio program with her psychology professor helping students with emotional problems ! So imagine how her pals react to claims of a ghoul which threatens her entire dorm ( . . in the film's best sequence , an entire hall of bloody bodies are seen in Sarah's nightmare , perhaps a premonition ) . To be honest , I watched this movie because of my wife . . I really thought the first two films in the series were crap ( . . although , I did think the original had a few moments ) , and didn't enter in to this sequel expecting anything of value . Others might find it a bit scary , but the whole ordeal was rather predictable & the special effects were cheap and tacky for the most part . The characters ( victims ) were cardboard for the exception of Sarah . The Boogeyman itself resembles a witch from some grimm fairy tale , never on screen for any substantial period of time , just flashes of it's presence attacking victims . |
436,786 | 9,938,570 | 368,774 | 3 | The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things | The Heart Is . . is a certifiable horror film . . a journey into the abyss that no child should have to take . Jeremiah has the misfortune of being the son of Sarah . Sarah takes Jeremiah from a certain wonderful childhood with tenderhearted foster parents and instead lives with a mother who experiences a long series of sexual relationships with various men , uses various drugs , and enjoys listening to punk rock . Jeremiah gazes into an unkempt adult world his young eyes have no reason to witness . Through this unbalanced pretentious film , Argento makes the child's journey dizzying and uncontrolled . We witness a series of abuses from different males such as physical leather belt whippings to sexual abuse . Sarah even has him wearing a dress pretending to be her sister ! When he is left by his mother , the adoption agency sends him to a family's religious commune headed by Pastor Peter Fonda ( talking about bizarre casting ! ) , but even here he can not escape certain violent acts taken out on one of his " brothers " by Grandfather ( Fonda's name in the film ) as a form of punishment . This is merely an ambling coming-of-age ( in the most extreme form ) which is about as entertaining as chugging battery acid ( . . for which I'm not surprised Argento's Sarah doesn't attempt to try ) . I'm guessing there's a point to this but I was too disinterested to care . |
436,732 | 9,938,570 | 328,655 | 3 | Wolfhound | A successful author , Colum ( Allen Scotti ) returns to his ancestral home in an Irish village with wife , son and daughter in tow hoping to rekindle possible memories of slain parents he never knew . What he does discover is that inside him lying dormant is an animal desiring to get out . Threatening his well being is an imposing , gruff villager , Macroth ( Brian Monahan ) who may very well have been behind the death of his parents . Colum's wife , Stella ( Jennifer Courtney ) , wishes to go home , quite a city gal longing for her hot coffee from Starbucks , having a great deal of trouble adjusting to her new environs . What's worse is that she feels a rift coming between her and Colum whose behavior is questionable . Colum realizes that an Irish wolfhound scouring about his cottage's grounds is in fact the animal form of a beautiful , voluptuous woman , Siobahn ( Julie Cialini ) who wishes to make passionate sexual contact with him . After succumbing to Siobahn's seductive allure , Colum finds the beast within starting to emerge , while Stella yearns to leave without him if necessary . Meanwhile Macroth eyes Stella causing quite a bit of friction between all involved . What Colum and Stella soon find is that the village folk are not all they appear to be . Ambitious but lackluster fantasy regarding a village of people who can actually transform into animals . Like Macroth who changes into a wolfhound like Siobahn . Another changes into a crow . The plot resembles the story of Cat People ever so slightly , but I had a problem with how the fantasy element of transformation is handled . . it deserves more exposition as does how Colum's parents died . I think a great deal of the film is little more than getting Julie Cialini as naked as possible . Certainly her delicious naked flesh doesn't hurt , as long as she kept her mouth shut , but I didn't think she had that many sparks with Allen Scotti , for whom is her sexual partner during a few scenes . I never thought their love-making provided the right amount of erotic heat which is surprising since chains get thrown into the mix and blue light ( . . often quite an effective tool for erotica ) within night scenes never quite elicits fireworks . The fight scenes between Macroth and Colum never catch fire either and have clumsily inserted dogs growling in the attempts to sell the beasts themselves attacking . The morphing sequences from human to beast leave much to be desired . Special effects in this film just are too cheap to effectively convey what the director so desires and he often has to resort to the use of objects to cloud humans before and during their transformation to , I guess , save on what little budget he obviously had . There's an unnecessary sex scene between Colum and two lesbian women ( . . Julie K & Regina Russell ) that should also be erotic but comes off surprisingly empty because the director fails to establish whether or not they're actually even on top of him ! I'd suggest seeing this merely to see Cialini naked , slapping Colum as he's chained to the bed while on top of him having the ride of her life . She also has a rather effective strip scene , removing her gown inviting pleasure . Maybe the problem is the lead actor , Scotti , who fails to generate fire with his new lover or a sense of love with his wife . The character of Stella spends most of the screen time upset with her husband's decision to leave home , feeling distant from Colum , or warding off Macroth's advances . |
435,831 | 9,938,570 | 378,491 | 3 | One of them | A group of teens have the misfortune of falling prey to hoodoo worshiping occult masquerading as a Catholic school for troubled girls . The town doesn't discuss the place and we see what one villain , underneath a hood and robe , does to Trina , a member of the school trying to get away from her pursuers . Trina's uncle is out to find the real truth of what happened to her and will uncover some grisly truths he might've never expected . Anyone with information regarding the cult often wind up dead . A young male and female are actually the leaders of the cult and commit the violence towards those they want as ghostly minions to serve them . Only brother and sister , Liz & Jeremy might stand a chance against this cult , but leaving appears to be a problem as escape does seem unlikely . Corny , micro-budget occult thriller with the typical terrible acting and silly supernatural goings-on . The gore effects range from decent to awful according to method of death . The wood chipper death is a howler ( it actually looks like the victim throws himself in ! ) and the hoodoo elements are really cheesy . There's even a voodoo witch and ghostly apparitions throw in the bungled mix for good measure . |
436,106 | 9,938,570 | 47,898 | 3 | Bride of the Monster | A very sickly Bela Lugosi stars as Dr . Eric Vornoff , a scientist who wishes to make supermen so he can take over the world . He has a pet rubber octopus and massive lab assistant , Lobo ( Tor Johnson ) he whips when the mute beast doesn't obey his commands . News reporter Janet Lawton ( Loretta King ) pursues the reasons behind missing folks who were being either consumed by the octopus or treated to Vorkoff's failed experiments . She is soon captured by Vornoff who will attempt to use her as an experiment , but LObo takes a shine to her . Janet's fiancé , Lt Dick Craig ( Tony McCoy ) will be in hot pursuit , following his girlie's tracks eventually finding himself in the swampy lair of Vornoff . Capt Tom Robbins ( Harvey B Dunn ) will have to rescue not only a pesky reporter but his own detective as well . That's if his inept Keystone cops don't foul things up . Typically pathetic Ed Wood feature with cheap sets , laughable octopus with men unrealistically " captured " within it's tentacles which never move , Tor Johnson's " method acting " ( haha ) , amateurish acting , jokes and the cast's delivery which fall flat , an enormous stunt double who doesn't even remotely favor Lugosi fighting Lobo , gun shots which fire directly point-blank at Lobo yet never even cause him to flinch , dreadfully laughable brawl between Lobo and Craig ( . . and , especially Lobo and Lugosi's stuntman ) , and clumsily inserted scenes ( . . such as a lightning bolt exploding a house into flames , and a shot of Vornoff supposedly falling into the octopus ' pit , but one can clearly see that the victim captured was another character thrown in it's clutched earlier in the film ) . Lugosi's sincere portrayal is admirable despite how ravaged his body is of time and vice . His use of " hypnotic " hand ( . . something which many might find reminiscent to Lon Chaney from the silent age ) to put Janet to sleep is a bit embarrassing . I do think Wood was so proud of having Lugosi in his film as evident with the long scenes where his mad scientist exposes his dementia when confronted by those who threaten his work . |
435,711 | 9,938,570 | 51,173 | 3 | Voodoo Island | Scientist Phillip Knight ( the always marvelous Boris Karloff , even in this ) who debunks myths and superstitions as folly for the weak-minded , is sent by a major hotel industrialist to a specific island to see what has turned a man ( Glenn Dixon ) into a living zombie who appears healthy , but shows nothing on his face . Knight's secretary , Sarah ( the simply stunning Beverly Tyler , who just looks fantastic from the moment she appears on screen to the close ) and " designer " Claire Winter ( Jean Engstrom ) come along with Knight along with the industrialist's right hand man Barney ( Murvyn Vye ) . Matthew Gunn ( Rhodes Reason ) is the skipper who will boat them to the mysterious island and Martin ( Elisha Cook , Jr . . who might . . gasp . . just die again in yet another movie ) who stands to benefit financially from the success of a resort area if one is created on the supposed voodoo island . Upon once getting to the island , they encounter carnivorous plants ( ! ) , a voodoo cult who are shown often poking their heads slightly out of the forest leaves , and , gulp , possible death . It's corny , there's just no way around it , but fans of cheesy B-movie chillers might bask in it's lameness . The killer plants look like rubber inter-tubes , the hokey romance development between Sarah and Gunn is filled with horribly limp dialogue that might make you snicker , and could very well have the worst performance of Elisha Cook , Jr's career . His death scene towards the end is hilarious instead of frightening . . the supposed impact of that scene elicits guffaws instead of fear . Karloff shows why he was such a wonderful actor and presence on screen when he can even make the flimsiest dialogue leap somewhat . He's damn good even when facing a dead body wrapped in killer leaves and stiff " Native Chief " Friedrich von Ledebur who looks bored out of his skull . The stench from this stinker can be smelled a mile away , but somehow Karloff still comes out of this unscathed . Known by many to feature an open lesbian seeking a relationship as Winters tries every way to convey her lust for Sarah . |
436,968 | 9,938,570 | 192,731 | 3 | Urban Legends : Final Cut | In the wake of Wes Craven's phenomenally successful SCREAM there was an army of cash-in clones that emerged and , sad to say , I was one of those who went and watched a slew of them at the multiplexes . This revisit dredged up all those bad memories of disappointments . Director John Ottman ( . . who seems to be a jack-of-all-trades , but he wisely decided to compose music instead ) and writer Paul Harris Boardman set the film within the trappings of college film-making referencing movies and having characters running around sets getting killed by a masked psycho wearing all black ( . . I think that's a fencing mask he was wearing , not sure what that was for , but oh well ) . URBAN LEGENDS : FINAL CUT follows the formula of characters stalked one-by-one , all members of Amy Mayfield's ( Jennifer Morrison ) crew . There's a link , of course , and it's a irksome twist which leaves a sour taste . It's hard enough sitting through lamely executed death sequences which lack any potency whatsoever , but to endure the final climactic revelation ( . . which deals with Amy's deceased Documentarian father , yawn ) just adds an extra kick to the groin . Good news is Morrison would move on to the popular television show HOUSE , and has blossomed into a lovely woman , and good actress . She's not bad as the lead , but her character is a direct model to the established Neve Campbell final girl which would populate the resurgent post-1996 contemporary slasher for years to come . Amy is often alone and fleeing from a determined pursuer , narrowly escaping . There are red herrings in the form of Trevor Stark ( Matthew Davis , who was in EVERYTHING at this point and time ) , the twin brother of a slain talented college filmmaker , and Toby ( Anson Mount ) , a Director of Photography who so desires to win the prestigious Hitchcock award that he walks out on Amy out of contempt for her " intruding into his genre " . Trevor solidifies himself as the worst protector ever in a slasher as Amy can never depend on him to be there for her when she's being chased by the maniac ( . . it's obviously designed to cast doubt on Trevor ) . Amy's film-making project is to film a series of Urban Legends , a horror movie consisting of grisly vignettes but her crew are getting killed , not showing up to the set the next day . Soon she is the target until the typical ending featuring the room of suspects , a killer's identity uncovered and the scramble for a weapon . Hart Bochner ( Terror Train ) is a hip bit of casting as a film school scholar , Professor Solomon , and Loretta Devine returns from the first film as a college security guard , Reese Wilson ( . . such a welcome presence in a movie that doesn't deserve such a vibrant personality ) . Joey Lawrence even stops by as Graham , a student with a wealthy father who has connections into the industry . . this would be one of MANY clunkers for " Joseph " after BLOSSOM . Eva Mendes has a thankless role as a lesbian assistant to Amy , Vanessa . . far from the sultry tasty dish she'd soon become . The opening kill-scene packs a punch ( . . concerning an actress who is drugged , finding herself in a ratty apartment buried under ice , her kidney removed , attempting to escape , her stitched womb pried open by the killer before using a broken window glass to behead her ) but the subsequent murders leave much to be desired . Other recognizable faces include Anthony Anderson as a make-up effects wiz and Jessica Cauffiel as a really terrible actress , who couldn't even scream effectively . Rebecca Gayheart ( . . the psycho from the first film ) has a cameo at the end as a special wink to URBAN LEGENDS . Very similar to SCREAM 3 , and certainly not as entertaining or clever . Unfortunately , an even worse sequel ( . . how could that be possible ? ) would come much later , BLOODY MARY . |
436,911 | 9,938,570 | 98,136 | 3 | At Hamilton High . . it's prom night ! | Alex ( Tim Conlon , quite terrible in the lead ; he resembles Zach Galligan to me ) is just your average guy flunking high school and a loser on the football team . He meets up , one night , with the demonic presence of ole Mary Lou Maloney ( Courntey Taylor ) who we see explode from her grave at the opening and they have a tumble . The next day she's gone and he only has the American flag as covering for his nude body when students walk in ready for classes while Alex scurries to the restroom . Alex has a steady girlfriend , Sarah ( Cynthia Preston , a cutie pie ) and best friend , Shane ( David Stratton ) , but all that changes when Mary has an impact on his daily doldrums in high school life . She kills teachers that stand in the way of his passing school ( Mary Lou even fixes his term paper to an passing grade ) and gives him the supernatural ability to score winning touchdowns . All she wishes is for him to be hers . With Sarah in the way and guilt regarding his burying the bodies of Mary Lou's victims , Alex begins regretting his ever meeting this ghoul . Soon , Alex breaks up with Mary Lou , as preposterous as that sounds , and let's just say she doesn't take it lying down . Mary Lou's wrath will be aimed at Sarah ( . . and his friends and school mates ) with poor Alex being sent to jail for the murders of his teachers when the corpses are found buried on the football field underneath the sod grass . Of course , a showdown will occur on Prom Night with Alex breaking free from jail and meeting with Mary Lou face to face . In a bizarre state of affairs , Alex agrees to go to " zombie hell " with Mary Lou in exchange for her ceasing the bloodshed . Though he does this , Sarah won't just give him up that easy . Bird-brained , really stupid exercise is drenched in clichés . . as a matter of fact the flick is drowning in them . Alex is a weak protagonist because Conlon is so awful . Attempts at tongue-in-cheek humor fall flat because most of Mary's quips aren't very funny or even slightly amusing . The school intercom jokester has most of the funny lines . The ending in zombie hell sums up the moronic approach of all involved . And , really the string of outrageous killings , committed by Mary , are quite unnecessary . Mary has really been turned into a joke . |
436,684 | 9,938,570 | 100,618 | 3 | Initiation : Silent Night , Deadly Night 4 | Reporter Kim ( Neith Hunter in an awful performance ) , tired of working the Classified section and Calender at her male-dominating newspaper , decides to follow the unusual suicide of a young woman whose body was found charred from the waist down . What she walks into is a coven of strange witches led by Fima ( Maud Adams ) who wishes to use Kim , through various oddball witchcraftian concoctions , to bring back her daughter ( . . who indeed is the burning suicidal girl who took the plunge from the top of the apartment complex ) . The witches have this belief that Kim can rid herself of the parasitic males who have " ruled " over her by carrying out the ceremony of " Isis " where she would sacrifice the brother of her lover ( . . and co-worker ) Hank ( Tommy Hinkley ) . Kim is reluctant to do any of the things Fima and her co-horts desire and often faces bizarre hallucinations as big bugs ( cock-roaches mainly ) and larvaic worms rear their ugly heads everywhere she frequents . The biggest bug she can't rid herself of is ogre-like Ricky ( Clint Howard playing his usually disgusting troll who Yuzna embellishes by photographing him with imaginative angles ) who is the coven's gopher / soldier doing their bidding so that their ceremonies and such get accomplished . Will Kim be able to escape the clutches of the witches ? Or , will she suffer the same fate as Fima's daughter ? Your usual Yuzna weirdness . Lots of nasty bugs grown to massive size to give those who dislike them the creeps thanks to Screamin ' Mad George's workshop . Hell , even Kim's spaghetti " breathes " at one point ! There's a grotesque scene where Kim begins to morph into a worm and really violent scenes where Ricky attacks people such as Kim's boyfriend Hank with a steak knife or like choking Hank's father with Christmas lights . Oh , and Yuzna makes sure to show us why this film is in the series as a fourth film ( . . other than merely exploiting the title for his own purposes ) by showing an excerpt of the previous sequel where the blind girl dreams of being nearly attacked by the killer Santa . The film really is merely an exercise in disgusting effects with a spit of witchcraft thrown in for good measure . One talent Yuzna shows is how to express creepy facial expressions out of rust on doors and through tree branches as they often form faces . Phantasm fans might dig the minor role Reggie Bannister has as Eli , the man in charge of the successful newspaper Kim wishes to become a reporter at . |
436,857 | 9,938,570 | 80,711 | 3 | Fade to Black | Film nut Dennis Christopher fuses Hollywood fantasy into his mental framework and can not distinguish what is real as he kills an assortment of people who fracture his ego . Whether it be his boss or punk-bully Mickey Rourke , each die by one of his villain alter-egos ( such as Dracula , The Mummy , or Richard Windmark's lunatic gangster Tommy Udo from " Kiss of Death " ) until Christopher's Eric Binford is completely taken over by fantasy . Tim Thomerson is a police psychologist who wishes to help Eric before he gets himself or others killed . The Eric Binford character is overwhelmed with this passion for a Marilyn Monroe lookalike ( Linda Kerridge , who stunningly favors her quite a bit ) he believes is the real woman . He'll do whatever it takes to have his paramour . Terrible film had potential . The clips from classic old films selected and spliced within certain scenarios featuring Eric would've been a great idea if a better actor with greater depth played him . Christopher , following his success in " Breaking Away " , isn't up to the task and shows his character as erratic and unfocused . It's hard to watch him for one hour and 45 minutes as he overdoes his maniac scenes . He just doesn't have what it takes to draw you into his pathetic existence . Thomerson and Gwynne Gilford ( as Officer Anne Oshenbull ) have very underwritten roles as the ones trying to figure out how to get to Eric . . who is so far hidden within the madness of character personalities . James Luisi is Capt . Gallagher , a cop who sees Thomerson's type as a quack who merely gets in the way of real detectives . . although he's right about Eric . The film rather pursues the kind of possession Hollywood holds over those who love film too deeply . To partake in the experience of film to the point that it engulfs you separating you from the reality around you . If only a better actor could've been chosen as the lead ( and the film stayed on one course instead of going all over the place at times and not focusing enough on the police trying to stop Eric and his murderous ways ) the film might've had some potential . |
435,781 | 9,938,570 | 82,966 | 3 | House by the Cemetery | Stupid , retarded exercise works merely as an excuse for gore and abandoning any chance of providing us with a decent enough storyline to hang our hat on . The gore provided may be the only attribute he can give us because the family is not interesting , the acting is bland and limited , the incoherency runs rampant as Fulci uses all kinds of oddball sub-plots to try and connect his abilities to splatter the screen . This family moves into this haunted house , and don't seem to get the idea that . . well , they might ought to leave ! This family ought to have their head examined for taking this dump anyways . This group of three just can't help but journey down that f'n basement time and time again . . even after the father is attacked and bloodied by the bat ! You think I'm about to venture into a basement where a big ass bat just ripped chunks of flesh from the hand . . these idiots obviously didn't get the point that hanging around in a spooky place may not have very many benefits . The stupid blond kid sure can not seem to get the point . . he goes down there so many times it's hard to feel sorry for him . It's funny , the kid can remain trapped in that basement ( . . with miraculous doors which lock in place as if the killer down there had the abilities of a telepath ) forever and the creepy nanny ( . . the most underwritten character of the film whose strange behavior is never explained ) is down there like ten seconds and her neck is hacked repeatedly . This film is the perfect example of shocking gore and nothing else . I must say , after seeing so many praise this hunk of trash , that I might be one of a brave few to go against it . Oh and the damn dubbing of an adult's voice in place of that kid grated my nerves about as much as the music's stops and starts . |
436,402 | 9,938,570 | 33,760 | 3 | Invisible Ghost | Really weird Sam Katzman production with an unusually sympathetic performance for Bela Lugosi as the doomed Charles Kessler , a respected citizen in the community who is unknowingly strangling his hired help at the hypnotic command of his loony wife ( Betty Compson ) . Charles ' wife ran off with another man , but he always had hope she'd return . For some strange reason , Charles ' gardener kept her hidden from him so that he wouldn't discover her in such a psychologically damaged way ( . . she had survived a car accident which killed her lover , resulting in irreparable mental damage ) , yet she returns almost every night to force Charles into a hypnotic state ( . . his kind face twists into a homicidal menace , hands clinching his black coat , lurching along until finding the next victim to die , often startling them ) the result being another strangulation . Charles ' daughter , Virginia ( Polly Ann Young ) worries about her father due to the mother's exit from their lives , how he hasn't come to terms with the separation , always believing she'll eventually return . A portrait of her hangs where Charles can gaze upon it each and every day . When a maid is murdered , Virginia's fiancé , Ralph Dickson ( John McGuire ) is convicted of the crime for he had relations with her at one point , and Charles ' butler , Evans ( Clarence Muse ) overheard the two in a heated conversation where tempers were tested with uncharacteristic words said that provided motive . The nail in his coffin was that Ralph couldn't tell of his whereabouts because of his state of mind and no alibi for that night of the murder . After his execution , Ralph's twin brother , Paul surprises Charles and Virginia and is invited to stay . . mentioning how his brother was convicted on reasonable doubt , he was concerned that the wrong man was sentenced to death and seeks answers . Meanwhile , Charles continues to kill at his wife's command . . how long can it go on before he's caught ? I'm never quite sure what Mrs . Kessler's motivations are for forcing Charles to commit murder to people who are of no importance to her in any way . The film provides a reason in her not returning because he'd kill her . . HE'D KILL ANYBODY . The " HE'D KILL ANYBODY " approach was all that writers Al and Helen Martin had to go with in giving an excuse for Lugosi to strangle folks . The idea of hypnotism as well is rather poorly realized . . how could she hypnotize him in the first place ? The film's feature reason for Lugosi to kill is terrible and extremely flawed , but he himself rises above such material because he provides a kind , polite , and caring character completely oblivious to the fact that he's the one responsible for the murders under his own roof . Surprisingly the production values are rather good , the film is professionally made with fine camera work and solid B & W photography . It's the story itself which is preposterous and far-fetched . Whatever the case , Lugosi is the draw here even if the plot itself doesn't accommodate the performance . |
436,128 | 9,938,570 | 96,119 | 3 | Sleepaway Camp III : Teenage Wasteland | Tongue-in-cheek slasher spoof , made back-to-back with the previous installment , Unhappy Campers , from director Michael A Simpson and writer Fritz Gordon , has serial killing transsexual Angela Baker ( Pamela Springsteen ) assuming the identity of Maria , a street kid she plows through with a garbage truck , so she can infiltrate a new Summer Camp near where she was once counselor . The camp is an experiment where underprivileged and rich youth join together in a unified setting proving that " we all can get along " no matter what kind of family and locale we come from . It goes horribly wrong when Angela , under wig , returns to her " Angel of Death " role murdering those she considers morally corrupt . Three wilderness groups are formed with the various youth camps spreading out with a counselor assigned with Angela wiping out one set of victims at a time , moving to the next one when she's finished . Before you know it , there are few left to slaughter . Cute red-head Tracy Griffith ( Skeeter ; The Final Power ) as a suburban band student , and potential boy-toy , East LA Latino " thug-with-a-heart-o-gold " , Tony ( Mark Oliver ) soon find themselves baring witness to Angela's rampage perhaps doomed to the same fate . Kooky B-movie character actor Michael J Pollard has a funny role as one of the founding counselors , with a Playboy bunny belt buckle , who tries landing a wealthy " skank " in a tent , actually succeeding before Angela corners him for execution , sickened at his fornication . Cliff Brand is a cop , Barney Whitmore whose son was beheaded by Angela , the third counselor hoping to someday catch and kill the murderess responsible . Sandra Dorsey is lazy counselor Lily who has her campers performing menial tasks for her such as taking away the trash and bringing her bug spray . Her demise , through the use of a lawnmower , is rather unique . The other victims are the same clichés paraded out for Angela to dispatch in one way or another . Those who either rent or purchase the DVD should check out the raw gore footage included in the special features . While most of them pretty remain intact within the finished product , there's a beheading from Angela's ax ( . . showing hands still moving with gushing blood flowing ) and a nasty aftermath of a victim hoisted by Angela up a flag pole falling head-first splatting to the ground , that are rather memorable . While the sequels to the franchise have a fervent cult following ( . . Angela using various methods to destroy human lives , following up each murder with a type of witty / witless one-liner ) who embrace them as cheesy 80's slasher flicks , I really find them rather joy-less exercises , with most of the murders cheap and clumsy . They are really no different than those repeated Friday the 13th sequels , with Angela assuming Voorhies ' role , with the exception of her being a chick and alive . The idea that Angela can kill so many without being discovered is a stretch , to say the least , especially with all the screaming . And , while many love the warped humor Angela provides , this sequel even strains to deliver in that category , giving us something to smirk at here and there because most of the characters are developed for us to despise so that we can giggle when she destroys them in creative ways . One victim has his arms removed by a rope tied to a jeep Angela drives . An ignited fire-cracker is used on a practical joker's face . Angela uses a stick to pummel victims across the head . One is shot several times by a gun into the chest . Tent spikes are hammered into a victim's hand and head . But , even though they sound gruesome , director Simpson shies away from displaying the gory goods for the audience clamoring for such violence . |
436,869 | 9,938,570 | 95,889 | 3 | Poltergeist III | Carol Anne is sent to live with her aunt and uncle ( . . because actor Craig T Nelson & JoBeth Williams knew better than to return for another bad sequel ) , Bruce and Pat Gardner ( Tom Skerritt & Nancy Allen ) in a posh newly built skyscraper , attending a school for gifted students with psychological problems . Her cynical psychiatrist , Dr . Seaton ( Richard Fire ) reawakens the dormant Reverend Kane ( Nathan Davis , taking over for the late Julian Beck ) while putting Carol Anne under hypnosis , and he returns to torment the girl , using mirrors as a method of travel . Soon Bruce's daughter Donna ( Lara Flynn Boyle ) and Donna's boyfriend Scott ( Kipley Wentz ) are captured along with Carol Anne by Kane , held hostage on " the other side " and it will be up to him and Pat , with help from Tangina ( Zelda Rubinstein ) who felt Kane's emergence immediately flying to Chicago to the aide of Carol Anne , in order for their safe recovery . . their love will have to relinquish them from the clutches of Kane , who wishes to find the light . Embarrassing close to the franchise , a soulless exercise in special effects with more mirror gags than I ever want to see again . Most of the film features an endless series of special effects sequences with little care given to the characters , and leads Skerritt and Allen must keep a straight face during attacks by frozen cars in the high rise's parking garage , and their daughter's exit from the petrified corpse of Tangina . You have a watery hole , in the parking garage , with arms pulling Carol Anne into the other side , Pat and Bruce caught in an elevator falling at great speed , evil reflections serving as doppelgangers for those Kane wishes to torment , and lots of dry ice . Kane is little more than a tool used to create goofy special effects , rather than an effectively creepy character produced by Julian Beck . You see Kane pop up from time to time in mirrors ( . . one scene shows a row of Kanes looking out of rooms as characters move down the hall , followed by closed doors ) and he's even beheaded by a shovel , his face melting away . Heather O'Rourke's little shoulders have to sustain the anvil of mediocrity this terrible film places on her . Such a tragedy that such a little girl would die so young and not get an opportunity to better service her career from junk such as this sequel . Rubinstein's Tangina has become a joke , her dialogue no longer substantial , but cringe-inducing . Glossy cinematography and a nice homage to Sampson from the second film ( . . an important necklace around Tangina's neck becomes vital to possibly rescuing those captured ) help a little , but the almost complete reliance on special effects weighs down any positives in the film's favor . And , Scott's whereabouts remain a mystery leaving a gaping hole in the plot ( . . along with how certain effects sequences are stuck together with tape and super glue ) and the character of Seaton , who has a ridiculous theory regarding Carol Anne's ability to cause mass hypnosis , was obviously created as a way of poking fun at know-it-all psychiatrists who think they always have an answer for the unexplained and supernatural , no matter how remarkably asinine their logic sounds . It's simply sad that this would be O'Rourke's last completed film . The pits . |
436,822 | 9,938,570 | 1,034,447 | 3 | Hydra | Yet another perfectly awful Sci-fi Channel CGI monster movie . Yet another variation on The Most Dangerous Game has four unlucky human prey , selected by a millionaire because they had prior criminal records and were able to " escape the system " , kidnapped and dropped on a supposedly uninhabited island with an actual living multi-headed hydra of Greek myth who follow the heat of their chosen victims , chomping down on those they catch . Tim Nolan ( George Stults ) is personally selected by boat captain Sweet ( Michael Shamus Wiles ) because of a personal grudge which occurred in Iraq . Nolan is an ex-commando so he's a resourceful survivalist who can assist his fellow hunted , Gwen ( Dawn Olivieri ) , Crick ( James Wlcek ) and Ronnie ( Texas Battle ) using his brains and skills in an attempt to evade both the hunters ( . . each wealthy paying their " supplier " millions so that they can hunt their prey ) and the hydra . Meanwhile , the hunters themselves find the hydra isn't effected by their superior weaponry . . if you blow of one of the heads , it grows two more ! Nolan and the group soon discovers an archaeologist , Valerie ( Polly Shannon ) whose expedition found the island with her the only remaining survivor . She informs Nolan that in order to truly defeat the hydra is to cut off the heads with a mythical sword of Hercules himself , buried in small lava pit ! Got all that ? ! Alex McArthur is millionaire Vincent Camdon and Jana Williams is his trophy wife , Dixie . They orchestrate and prepare the hunt for their clientèle . The CGI for the film is as dreadful as you'd expect as the hydra chomps down on human heads and it looks unrealistic and laughable . The whole mythical aspect of the Hercules sword and how the hydra is effected by it will induce certain chuckles from an audience with an inability to take any of this nonsense seriously . Stults , as he was on 7th Heaven , is as stone-faced as ever . As expected all the villains get theirs , each getting ripped apart and eaten ( . . including one poor soul who is shown swallowed whole ) . |
436,753 | 9,938,570 | 89,181 | 3 | Future Kill | During my struggle to stay awake during this borefest , I fought through my near-dosing off to discover some silly plot regarding fraternity schmucks , quite incredibly obnoxiously annoying , running into trouble with a psychotic , radioactively damaged half-human / half cyborg named Splatter who sends his soldiers after them for the murder of their prestigious , politically vocal leader ( . . for whom Splatter killed himself , setting them up to take the blame so he could become the leader ) . These face-painted freaks form a group who express their feelings anarchically , though non-violently , living on dilapidated streets abandoned by the " civilized world " voicing their concerns regarding nuclear disarmament . Anyways , most of the film has these five frat goons running throughout darkened streets with graffiti walls , as Splatter and his punks pursue them . Thankfully for these guys , they find a punk chic to assist them on their journey out of this rather ugly terrain with which they're unfamiliarized . This territory the frat guys are immersed is a veritable labyrinth of streets and alleys with the idea of an exit out most difficult particularly when crazies and Splatter's bunch occupy nearly every turn . Yeah , I was duped like others thanks to the HR Giger poster which is most excellent . If only he had been the designer of this dreck . . this is not the case and we , the viewer , are left a film modeled after , of all movies it seems , Walter Hill's THE WARRIORS , except this film doesn't have the style or grit that film has . The film has a plethora of unfunny bits and lame confrontations between the frats and the punks with hand to hand combats often laughable . The setting is rather interesting , and there are some atmospheric uses of neon light , but it's not the environment that's the problem . . it's the plot and characters within the environment that grow tiresome . The saddlebags under my eyes weighed heavier every minute this movie continued . Yes , Texas CHAINSAW stars Edwin Neal ( . . quite a funny voice-man , who has an entertaining interview on the DVD I rented for this flaming turd of a film ) and Marilyn Burns have " key " roles as opposing members of their faction against the government resulting in the final conclusion within a building complex at the end . Neal's character Splatter uses these metal spikes which emerge from his metal arm to kill his victims . |
436,693 | 9,938,570 | 76,683 | 3 | The Sentinel | Universal's answer to " The Exorcist " isn't a very good one . Unfortunately , the film offers bland , unimaginative direction from Michael Winner who wastes an outstanding cast with a screenplay massing crater-sized plot-holes . Not to mention , it's unbearably silly never explaining certain key elements within the story . Model Cristina Raines moves into a high-rise owned by the Catholic Church with a creepy , blind priest John Carradine , who holes up in there always at the window . She begins to suffer faint spells and nausea . What's worse is tenants she meets in the building such as Burgess Meredith ( with a cat and a canary ! ) and a young Beverly D'Angelo as a lesbian . Ava Gardner ( looking great at 55 ) is the Realtor who showed Raines the place . Cristina's lover is Chris Sarandon , whose wife " committed suicide " after finding out they were having an affair . José Ferrer has a small role as the " Priest of the Brotherhood " who informs Monsignor Arthur Kennedy to be careful as he heads to the very high-rise not only housing Carradine but Raines as well . Sarandon sends a hired-hand up to the high-rise one night to check out a certain room above Cristina's apartment where she heard metallic clanging and other loud racket . He winds up dead the very same night Cristina " kills " her DEAD father in a nightmare . Screaming mad on the street , Cristina does indeed have blood on her which leads police detective Eli Wallach and partner Christopher Walken to investigate them with sure certainty that it all somehow leads back to Sarandon who is a hot-shot lawyer who once beat the cop in court regarding the whole wife's suicide . That case is really a motivating factor is Wallach's dogged approach to finding out whose blood was really on Cristina and if Sarandon has anything to do with it . You also have Martin Balsam as a professor who understands this type of Latin Cristina mysteriously understands and unbilled actors such as Jeff Goldblum as a fashion photographer and Tom Berenger as a man interested in this certain room that has become available in the very room ( now renovated ) that Cristina once stayed in ! What bothers me more than anything is lack of explanation . Towards the end of the film Wallach and Walken are forgotten and we are left wondering why they just up and quit investigating . Their characters are just left on the back-burner . How the priests know that " now is the time " when a certain man will die and must be replaced to guard a certain gate in that high-rise and why Cristina suffers through the trauma she does isn't adequately explained . How certain ghosts just appear to Cristina and disappear when she tries to show Gardner the rooms they occupied during a cat's birthday ( see for yourself ) isn't adequately explained . Not to mention Gardner's role in the grand scheme of things . . she brings people to that high-rise , but what is really her reasons in the film ? It seems like this film should've been longer and cleared things up left lost to a rushed conclusion that is just laughable when it should be scary . |
435,795 | 9,938,570 | 454,919 | 3 | Pulse | To be honest , this Americanized version of Kiyoshi Kurosawa's film is just . . americanized . The plot is essentially the same except completely elaborated upon instead of elusive like the Japanese film . We get all the information on why these ghosts do what they do and how they got here . Why the red tape is essential to keep them at bay , and also we learn how they travel . The ones that die turn into ash , but we actually see how the ghosts take over those who have to surrender their life force . Victims are left with only a shell of what was once a vibrant , living human being . Through technological means , they are able to seek out and destroy those who use such equipment as cell phones and computers . The numb skull who unleashes the " virus " is Josh ( Jonathan Tucker ) , a master hacker who taps into these ghostly apparitions which roam free in our world taking the will to live from humans leaving them to slowly turn into eventual ash or to commit suicide because the pain as they dies drives them into a deep abyss of depression ( as one victim friend of our heroine Mattie explains . . the slowly dying tastes like lead with each breath taken ) . Mattie ( Kristen Bell . . I like her , but she deserves a better vehicle to express her talent which is unfortunately dormant in dread like this movie ) is Josh's girlfriend and through her we see the chaos that erupts thanks to the ghosts that lurk as clear shadows ( almost like river pool ripples we can see appear in moments ) . After Josh's death , Dexter ( Iam Somerhalder ) receives his computer and finds out what Josh was up to finding a video diary mentioning a computer guy named Ziegler . Ziegler might hold the knowledge on how they came unto this world and how to stop them . Also , Dexter finds a possible computer part that might execute the virus of ghosts that Josh had hidden in a safe place on his computer . We see a city in complete desolate ruin where nearly an entire populations is gone . The film strip is drained of color like other Americanized remakes of Japanese films and for once I'd like to see a film show vibrant colors . This film looks like it was shot on the outskirts of Antarctica or something . . completely dreary and lifeless . The characters have no life , the cast is going through the motions . The film has no energy or heart . When you pay more attention to how great Bell looks in her tight jeans than what her character is going through in the movie , something is indeed wrong . |
435,691 | 9,938,570 | 155,975 | 3 | Psycho : the remake | What can I add that hasn't already been said . It's easy to criticize Van Sant for his direction , but pretty much anyone sitting in the director's chair calling the shots wouldn't have been able to successfully pulled it off . I think the decision to remake that film was a hasty , not-well-thought-out idea . The first time I watched the film , it didn't trouble me as much as tonight's viewing because it's so easy to see that this whole remake was a bad idea . Vaughn just doesn't have that ability Perkins has . . not many , if any , do . Heche as Marion is merely a casualty of bad dress ( who ever fashioned Heche must've had a grudge against her ) . Poor Viggo just looks plum out-of-place and silly in his cowboy-dress as Sam Loomis . William H scores in his role as nosy Arbogast who gets so close to the truth it costs him his life . Julianne Moore , who carries a back-pack and walkman for Petesake , is the representative liberal modern gal full of cynicism and bitterness . . it's hard to watch her stuck in this parody of a role ( . . although , certain shots show her beauty ) . Many of the shot-for-shot scenes pretty much copying Hitch's style makes the whole film seem but like a waste of time . Even worse is when Van Sant tries to put his stamp on the film in awkward little images during key moments ( such as the infamous shower sequence and the unveiling of mother ) . One complaint that didn't bother me too much ( . . well , actually a tiny bit ) was the flick being shot in color , although Van Sant's use of color is odd , especially in how the Bates Motel looks as well as Bates Mansion . Wardrobe seems to be aimed as a joke , although I'm never sure if it's intentional or not . The shower sequence remains pretty much the same instead it's real blood in the tub this time . I did like one image as Van Sant's camera closes in on Marion's eye as it loses life ( . . although the shot of the cloudy sky is bonkers ) . |
435,901 | 9,938,570 | 889,181 | 3 | Dark Fields | A group of obnoxious high schoolers are on their way to a concert when they find that their car is running low on gas . The driver , dweeby , pimple-faced Drew ( Ryan Hulshof ) also gets the gang lost , having missed the highway leading them into hicksville , where a sinister farmhouse and massive barn reside on a country road . Clownish Zach ( Brian Austin Jr ) , his fraidy-cat ( . . the kind afraid of her own shadow ) constantly complaining girl-friend Justine ( Lindsay Dell ) , annoying immature jock Josh ( Eric Phillion ) , and high school hottie Taylor ( Jenna Scott ) find themselves looking for Drew when he leaves to find a possible fuel pump nearby the farmhouse never returning . As they search through the farmhouse and barn , they encounter a backwoods psycho whose face is hidden by long messy black hair , quietly awaiting each victim before attacking from behind when they are most vulnerable . Those who are able to get away , head for help and a phone trying to stay one step ahead of the predator . Obvious Texas Chainsaw Massacre clone lacks any tension whatsoever . Despite some eerie locations such as the abandoned farmhouse falling to waste and ruin , a barn still equipped with livestock and hay , and a slaughterhouse up the road from the main setting of the film , there should be an abundance of atmosphere . But , it seems instead of building dread , director Al Randall builds boredom as his cast spend 85 minutes of the film searching for either each other , a phone , or assistance . Walking , walking , and walking some more , these characters are always looking with little action taking place . The violence on display is lacking as one victim sticks his hand in the blade of farming equipment ( dumbass ) attempting to prove that no one is among them , one victim is stabbed with a screwdriver , and another is knocked unconscious by falling hay . Jenna Scott as " final girl " Taylor , is very attractive eye candy , certainly nice to look at for 90 minutes , often seen pulling off her shirt with the director establishing just how developed she is under her bra , has no personality whatsoever . She's merely on screen , constantly keeping her hair out of her face , belly exposed after scissoring her shirt early in the movie . Taylor's confrontation with the killer during their final showdown is numbingly ineffective , devoid of tension . The killer spends a lot of time off-screen as the two girls run around trying to find a phone , easy prey yet the predator seems little inspired to catch them . When he does trap the two girls in the slaughterhouse , he moves so slow and gives his quarry plenty of time to fight back . Just a terrible climax following a tiresome 80 or so minutes of wasted time . |
436,595 | 9,938,570 | 92,006 | 3 | The Scarecrow reviews " Star Crystal " | Believe it or not , I actually enjoyed this obscure B-movie as a child . But , one sees a film differently with more astute eyes . The film seems outdone by everything all at once . The budget is perhaps ( next to simply bad writing and overall story development ) the main culprit in this film's demise . You can tell how things are elevated ( you can tell a part is being picked up by a wire ) , not to mention in one shot you can actually see the rod that moves the model space ship . The cast for the film are simply not very good at exposing the trauma within the characters and the dialogue , which is sheet-thin and unimaginative doesn't assist them . The story seems to be two separate films . . one horror and the other a weeper . This makes the film completely uneven . It starts as an alien clone as this creature and these crystals " birth " from a rock taken by two astronauts from Mars . They want to put a laser to it , but perish thanks to such thinking . As an act of survival , the alien defends by killing . . basic fundamentals for defense against anything violent . Once it is on board a space shuttle , several crew members feel threatened and react with hostility against something they don't understand . Somehow , the alien starts out as goo and begins to shape and form over the course of the movie . Also , these crystals seem to provide the alien the basic fundamentals of learning and power . The alien , through the power of the crystals , is able to elevate and control anything . The crew are at the mercy of this alien as it kills three of them when they try to kill it ( not to mention exploding a space station early in the film ) . Yet , once the alien begins to read , through the memory banks of the computer , the Bible , it comes to know Jesus and becomes much more understanding and kind to the two crew members that remain . The film is pretty preposterous for it just doesn't know where to go . . it's as if we see the director is throwing all kinds of ideas at us expecting us to enjoy the botched narrative . It seems to be a real horror film , with some pretty good gore with goo and blood . Then comes a morality play which just seems to be an unfortunate detour which is just laughable . If you read through the credits on this film , it's clear that no one made it very far . . the whole film is quite amateurish and bad . There does seem to be ambition , but ambition needs talent to fully evolve into a good movie for which this film lacks greatly . |
436,727 | 9,938,570 | 89,269 | 3 | Hellhole | Cult cast highlight trash movie regarding a poor young woman who finds a leather-clad , slick-haired , Elvis-sideburns , hood strangling her mom to death with a scarf . He was simply supposed to retrieve bank statements for a corrupt psychiatric doctor and he just got carried away . The poor woman is Susan , portrayed by the petite beauty Judy Landers . The killer is Silk , portrayed by Ray Sharkey who seems to be enjoying his part as a hired vulgar fiend who torments his victims with relish . Susan , attempting to escape Silk , falls from a building , bumping her noggin and garnering amnesia . Matters only worsen for her as Susan is sent to a mental hospital under the care of the sociopathic Dr . Fletcher ( . . played cold-blooded by Mary Woronov ) who enjoys performing experimental lobotomies on patients who " misbehave . " Working along side her is Dr . Dane ( Marjoe Gortner ) , who wishes to help the patients , while Fletcher seems to enjoy them for homicidal kicks . The Hellhole of the title is a prison and lab for those patients who are mistreated to the lobotomies . . we get a look at one of the failed procedures as Dane and Fletcher insert a large hypodermic needle into a religious freak and watch as she trembles and convulses into catatonia and death . Will Susan be treated to such a punishment as she pursues an escape route or will the kind orderly Ron ( Richard Cox ; who is actually an agent trying to infiltrate Fletcher's operation so that the lobotomies to innocent patients will end ) be able to save her from a horrifying fate ? The crooked doctor hired by Silk to recover the bank statements ( . . and later recruiting the slime-ball to pose as an orderly within the hospital to torment and terrorize Susan for she saw him murder her mother and to find out about where those bank statements are hidden ) is Monroe ( Martin Beck ) . Robert " Maniac Cop " Z'Dar is a hulking guard named Brad who , along with other men , forces patients into the hellhole and has a rather lame / disappointing fight with Cox's Ron towards the end . Edy Williams gets naked a lot as wacky patient Vera , often engaging in lesbian encounters . As a matter of fact , this film carries several Women-in-Prison characteristics such as the copious amounts of female nudity when the patients are in the showers ( . . there's even a hilarious cat fight between Vera and another patient over another woman ending in bare knuckle fisticuffs ! ) . Silk wishes for Vera to find evidence on Ron for he doesn't trust him . . Vera is basically a love-doll for Silk to sexually ravage , and she doesn't seem to mind it at all . Sidnee Hammond ( Terry Moore ) is the one Ron communicates with . . she needs hard evidence that will convict Fletcher of her inhumane crimes . The film wallows in sleaze and the presentation is scuzzy and imbalanced . . with a more polished screenplay this could've been a lot better . The motivations of the characters are often in question ( . . even Susan makes a few dumb decisions which leave you scratching your head , such as places she runs to hide ) such as why Fletcher makes such a outrageous , hasty decision towards the end regarding her experiments ( . . and not escaping from the place opting to instead confront Dane who is releasing the damaged lobotomy patients ) and allowing Silk to run free throughout her establishment boggles the mind . So many problems like how Susan remains unharmed for so long and how someone as sadistic and obviously psychotic as Fletcher could hold such a high-level position over an institution , exist , and the flimsy set up of the story . . a killing over bank statements . . really doesn't help matters . And , why would a doctor as Monroe ever hire such a loose cannon as Silkis anybody's guess . Poor Marjoe Gortner is stuck in yet another lousy movie , the guy just couldn't catch a break . And speaking of Gortner , why would his psychiatric scientist agree to work with such a disturbing individual as Fletcher knowing that she was unreliable as a doctor and human being ? And , why would he continue working in such an absurd environment with individuals he doesn't get along with ? Even decisions he makes at the end as Fletcher wishes to abandon their work , kind of lacks logic ( . . he'd be willing to jeopardize his career releasing patients that had been tested on like guinea pigs he himself contributed to ) , although maybe the filmmakers were hoping to humanize him a bit because in working out a formula he was hoping to cure brain ailments . |
436,052 | 9,938,570 | 420,294 | 3 | The Beginning | Who would've thunk it . . a polished turd . Boy , a lot of money was sunk into this film . The camera-work ( . . and how the characters are framed through artistic placements ) is good and this , like other modern horror flicks of it's kind , is lensed in that dark , grainy cinematography . Though , it's main problem is that this prequel creates no mystery . We have seen the main killers in the film from 2003 so we know they won't die and that the unfortunately selected victims will have no chance . How can we root for them if we already know the outcome ? R . Lee Ermey returns to ham it up as deranged psychotic " Sheriff Hoyt " , but even his routine is tired . The well is indeed dry as a bone . It felt very familiar and is coldly executed . . the filmmakers weave an empty , hollow gorefest where Tommy / Leatherface ( Andrew Bryniarski . . no Gunnar Hanson , that's for sure , merely a robotic killing machine ) gets to chainsaw through victims a lot . He gets to skin . He puts on his mask . We get to see pretty Jordana Brewster , running for her life drenched in hubby's blood . The stylistics just can't save a same-ole , same-ole horror film which seems uninspired by Hooper's original masterpiece . I guess that's what is missing . Sure , the filmmakers try some black humor on for size as Hoyt gets Tommy to saw off Uncle Monty's bad leg , but seeing as the cutting job was sloppy , decides to have his boy clean up his task by lopping off the other one for balance . |
436,626 | 9,938,570 | 406,706 | 3 | Devour | A young man ( Jensen Ackles ) , with a very promising future , finds that his violent dreams are becoming frightening real when an Internet game , called The Pathway , introduced to him by his troubled pal Conrad ( Teach Grant ) might by controlled by Satan himself ! What's even worse is the fact that his " waking " nightmares are used in killing his friends and family . He seeks comfort in the arms of beautiful nurse Marisol ( Shannyn Sossamon ) who attends to his crippled wheelchair ridden mother . Dakota ( the very , very sexy Dominique Swain ) is Jake's friend / sometimes-lover who was a product of molestation and now receives visits from her professor so that she can pass . Aiden Kater ( Martin Cummins ) is the creator of The Pathway game , who practiced black magic in Satanism . Ivan ( William Sadler ) is the Master Satanist who quit teaching others when Aiden supposedly sacrificed his wife and child to the Devil . Jake has a deeper connection to Ivan than he realizes . There's reason why he has survived while others , such as his two friends , succumbed to suicide after killing those who caused them harm in life . I felt the development of the premise and it's characters feel rushed . I felt like there was some post-production tinkering which leaves plot holes and inconsistencies . Such as what happens to Dakota . While we actually do see what occurs to Conrad from the phone call that coerces him through emotional manipulation into murdering a person he had issues with , we might not see his death take place , but do get a glimpse of the horrifying " suicide . " But , Dakota's exit from the film isn't fully realized and all we really know is that she murdered the man troubling her finishing herself off through self-mutilation . It's a scene totally left out of the film and is quite an important part of the development of the story . Anyway , later Jake is knocked unconscious by Conrad's ghost ( ? ) and he awakens in Aiden's plush mansion . I can't understand this , but oh well . Aiden is here to inform us who Jake really is . Instead of developing Aiden , he's plopped in the flick for a few minutes and dispatched . Ivan's wife , Anne , is a major part of the grand scheme of things and we see who she has been emulating so to stay close to Jake . The final thirty or so minutes really rushes a build up during the film . Someone calls Jake's Uncle Ross on the phone . We do not know who it was . It would've been nice to know . He later is found by Jake and Marisol . And , then the film makes a bold statement that what we have witnessed , including the revealing of the Demon behind the Pathway possessions , could be just figments of Jake's demented mind . He asks for us to help him . The director and screenplay writer are the ones who needed help the most . Oh , and I do admit that Swain is an absolute sexpot , but perhaps she could try other roles that just the slut . She's become quite typecast . |
435,778 | 9,938,570 | 81,318 | 3 | City of the Living Dead | Moronic gory exercise about a priest who hangs himself in a Dunwich graveyard resulting in the opening of gateway ( s ) to Hell . How this comes to happen is anyone's guess . I'm guessing it's the significance in the location . In folklore , Dunwich was built over the ruins of Salem . . the witch's playground . Now , how hanging yourself in a graveyard in a town once housing witches is one thing , but how a priest's suicide unlocks the gates of hell is another . If Fulci would just take the time to explain the reasons why a priest's suicide could do such a thing , I might be a little closer to accepting this poor excuse to throw up gore scenes and supernatural hocus pocus . The zombies are incredibly photographed , but understanding how they come to be and why the priest brings them back to life confuses me . Okay , this priest hangs himself , comes back as some sort of ghoul who finds victims , scaring them to death . Once they are dead , the victims come back as zombies pulling brains out of poor people's skulls while their backs are turned . Some actually come from thin air , I'm guessing because they represent some sort of fear , but trying to come up with answers to all this foolishness was tiresome . Some perv named Bob gets a drill all the way through his skull thanks to a vengeful father whose daughter was almost molested by him . The film has a woman psychic who actually dies during a séance where she sees the priest kill himself . . how she awakens and why are a mystery . Anyhow , she gets a reporter to take her to Dunwich to find the remains of the priest before " ALL SAINTS DAY " because if he arises , the dead will walk amongst the world to feed on flesh . . they do already , but that is beside the point . You know , thanks to a psychiatrist who lost his girlfriend to the priest's fear ( . . and comes back as a zombie ) , the three find the burial tomb of the priest , but it is too late since ALL SAINTS DAY had begun . Oh well , Fulic just abandons that whole line letting the priest die anyway when he gets a cross thrust through his stomach as his torso burns to ash ( . . and so are his relatives who rise momentarily to moan a bit ) . The film is so incomprehensible and badly conceived , one should simply watch for all the bloody effects like one of the priest's victims who vomits up her intestines . Have a nice day . |
436,201 | 9,938,570 | 237,894 | 3 | Video Violence 2 | Howard and Eli return in this satiric sequel , as hosts of a pirate public access station snuff show where they mutilate and dismember special guests ( . . the guest on their show in this movie believes she's test screening for a role in a splatter movie ) invited and unknowingly volunteering for their own destruction . Eli and Howard provide their bloodthirsty audience with a series of violent acts to this actress such as scissoring through her arm using the veins as a way to give the camera the finger , extracting her eyeball , removing her thumbs , etc . The show also has commercial breaks featuring recordings of murders to other victims including the damage inflicted on a victim tied to a home-made electric chair , what happens to a pizza boy thanks to three man-hating women who decide to kill for the first time , what employees and customers of a video store do to an outsider attempting to rent some movies ( . . nice use of saran wrap and a blow-drier for this particular girl ) , a newly hired employee at a grocery mart is used by her bosses as an example for their new experimental devices such as a slice'n'dicer that chops fingers into little pieces and a blood drainer if you have a taste for something different , and a little pet monster for sale who can kill your children if you are a tired parent looking to decrease the members in your family . Sicker , more twisted ( . . and more tedious and outlandish ) sequel from writer / director Gary Cohen stretches his premise a bit thin . The two twists at the end are amusing enough , I guess . Many of the gore gags ( . . like the exploding face of the victim being shocked in the hot seat ) are more laughable than before , but slasher fans who liked the first film from Cohen might get a kick out of this one . I kind of found this sequel rather long-in-the-tooth , wearing out it's welcome pretty quickly . Uke and Bart Sumner , as the warped duo , are living it up again , cackling and giggling as they torment their new victim . Everyone in the film seem to be having a good time . |
436,223 | 9,938,570 | 796,306 | 3 | Bone Eater | Construction workers disrupt the Native American burial ground of a large , hulking skeletal monster which disintegrates it's victims with it's touch , breath , or bone sword ! The head honcho over the resort project , Krantz ( Jim Storm ) orders his construction crew to keep their skeletal findings secret for much would halt the continuing development if the nearby Katona tribe caught wind that remains were being dug up and disturbed . An aging Bruce Boxleitner , likable as always , stars as half-breed Sheriff Evans trying to keep peace between the Katonas and Krantz's crew . The peace was strained , at best , but with that skeletal monster running rampant making it's victims vanish without a trace , soon Krantz wants answers to why members of his crew are missing . . Evans begins losing citizens as well . Evans is warned by Katona Chief Storm Cloud ( Michael Horse ) that an ancient demon , the Bone Eater , has been loosened and can only be stopped with a sacred war axe ( . . the axe was removed by a worker who found it's remains with the weapon lunged inside ) now in the back seat of his daughter Kelly's ( Clara Bryant , who wears tight jeans and shirts to reveal how daddy's girl has grown into quite a striking lady ) boyfriend's truck . Evans must somehow defeat the demon if the killing will stop . . and this must occur before the Eclipse or it's power will become too strong for anyone to vanquish . A solid cast , floundering in an embarrassing horror outing . The CGI , isn't very good , although the monster could've been quite threatening if done with a better budget . It rides a horse made from dust chasing after it's prey , for Petesake ! Some cameo appearances include BUCK ROGERS Gil Gerard as Evan's deputy Big Jim , STAR TREK's Walter Koenig as a coroner , & HOUSE's William Katt , as a Country Doctor attending to the wounds of Evan's deputy . None of these cameos last longer than one minute or so . . sad , really . Adoni Maropis , impresses in an underwritten role as a brooding Katona , Johnny Black Hawk , who wishes to use the Bone Eater to drive the white man off his tribe's land . Jennifer Lee Wiggins portrays Kaya , a tasty dish of a Katona female whose against Black Hawk's hatred for the white man and wishes for Evans to follow his Indian blood regarding putting an end to the Bone Eating monster . This might be worth sitting through if just to see Boxleitner dressed in war paint and Indian garb . I felt for the actor , to be honest , as Bruce tries to keep a straight-face in such a terrible movie . In yet another over-worked and tiresome cliché , Bruce's sheriff has an estranged relationship with his daughter , whose 17 , hot , and wanting to date the " bad boy " . . although this winds up being an underwritten sub-plot as is most of the plot concerning the killing skeleton and many of the poorly developed characters . |
435,729 | 9,938,570 | 81,248 | 3 | Burial Ground : Nights of Terror | Dinner guests for a professor / archaeologist find out they're on the menu instead when the undead , from a crypt unearthed by their host , come a calling . While this might appeal to zombie fans ( . . and , from what I hear , this flick has quite a following ) , I thought it was rather poor with no real explanation as to why the dead would rise and behave in the fashion of George Romero's zombies eating flesh and innards . Bizarre angle where a " young boy " Michael ( Peter Bark who actually looks older than the actress portraying his mother ) lusts after his mommy Evelyn ( Mariangela Giordano , who really loves to widen her eyes ) groping her sexually in one scene . The zombies are often merely extras wearing Halloween masks . . that's how effective some of them aren't . There are scenes of gut-munching and neck ripping for the fans who desire this sort of thing when they watch their zombie movies . Some nudity and sex . There's no plot to speak of other than one dimensional characters in search of an exit off the grounds of their host's castle with slow zombies lumbering after them . An eerie electronic score ( think " Forbidden Planet " ) does add ambiance where the film often fails to deliver . |
435,714 | 9,938,570 | 371,920 | 3 | Rottweiler | Typically awful Yuzna exercise , this time mining the " monster dog " genre having this human-eating , bloodthirsty mutt chasing convict Dante ( William Miller ) through this totalitarian country . He is bitten twice by it , but somehow , despite how others are torn to shreds , escapes his clutches . This film embarrassingly finds numerous ways , when there shouldn't be none , for Dante to constantly evade dire harm . It's essentially a series of near-death scenarios as he is caught by one prison guard with cowboy boots ( ? ! ) who was in possession of the rottweiler , is pretty much raped by some former-whore named Alyah ( Paulina Gálvez ) , who becomes lunch , with a daughter , runs into three drug-runners who are interested in the boots he stole from the prison guard he blows away , and finally makes it to this metallic city ( which resembles Pittsburgh or Chicago ) where prostitution runs supreme with constant trafficking of drugs and narcotics . Dante's memory has been dodgy since beaten to a pulp by the sickening leader , Kufard ( Paul Naschy out of all people . . inspired casting , I'm sure ) of this country's prison unit , or whatever it is , and he pursues the love he was separated from when circumstances brought them apart . There's this game called Infiltration where certain products of wealth ( Dante and Ula ) see if they can escape dangerous , patrolled waters . . whatever . Dante spends most of his quest searching for Ula ( Irene Montalà ) when he isn't barely surviving the killer dog out for blood . There are certain repressed memories Dante is trying to retrieve and it concerns what happened that night he and Ula were caught by Kufard . This also concerns the reason the rottweiler is beyond mortal . . it had some sort of scrape with Dante resulting in it's skeletal structure ( . . and teeth ) being changed partially into metal which means it can rip people apart for the hell of it without anyone doing much to him . He's pretty much a robotic killing machine . This film contains some graphic neck attacks among other flesh ripping from the killer mutt . Yuzna shows it pulling away vital organs from the torsos of victims , chomping on the skin around the skeletal remains of human meat , etc . |
436,433 | 9,938,570 | 107,568 | 3 | Midnight 2 : Sex , Death & Videotape | A sequel shot on video from director John Russo has a psychopath , Abraham ( Matthew Jason Walsh taking the place of John Amplas from the first film ) , the only survivor of those backwoods Satanist killers from the first film , is hunting victims across Pittsburgh luring females to their doom through the use of a camcorder and his charms ( . . although , the targets must be pretty desperate to fall for this guy who'd give most chicks the creeps ) . In the same methods used by his family in the first film , he bounds his victims to a wooden chair in a confined room ( . . in this film , the basement of a house he's renting ) , torturing them to death . Rebecca ( Jo Norcia ) , a pal of Jane ( Lori Scarlett ) who we see strangled by the film's killer while having sex , decides to risk her life by baiting Abraham , so that a detective , assisting her in the disappearance case of Jane , can ensnare him . But , what Rebecca doesn't realize is that when Abraham studies a potential victim , he keeps tabs on her , and finds that she is spending free time with the detective , concocting a murderous scheme of his own . Extremely low budget feature loses the creepy aesthetic that made the original Midnight so interesting . Perhaps it's the decision to shoot on video that does this film in because the effects used in the sequel are limited , and there's no doubt that Savini's work in the previous Midnight are unmatched in quality . Russo has his killer talking , talking , talking the audience to boredom . Instead of actually performing the torturous methods he has prepared for his victims , he embellishes through dialogue to them how he'll harm them . The film consists of a hell of a lot of footage from the previous film , perhaps in a move to pad this even to 70 or so minutes . I found it incredibly tedious as Abraham can't shut up , with Russo , as writer , having his psycho embracing his audience with the inner-workings of a wickedly sick mind , breathlessly chatting away about his " career " and the pleasures that derive from it . He also dotes on perhaps losing the urge to kill if he could find someone to love . I found lead Walsh rather unconvincing and not the least bit chilling , frightening or effective as the killer . He gave off nothing that would send shivers down my spine . Maybe it's his incessant talking for a great deal of the running time , looking at us the audience with a constant grin , that left me wanting to eject the disc to call it a day . I dunno . The acting , from local Pittsburgh theater types I guess , doesn't knock your socks off , and Rebecca's laughable attempts to escape ( . . where she runs to trying to either hide or get away ) induces groaning . This film has been pretty obscure , a hard-to-find film many fans of the first have been seeking after . I hope it's worth the wait for you , because it left me rather underwhelmed to say the least . |
436,028 | 9,938,570 | 385,218 | 3 | Scarecrow Gone Wild | Jerk hazer Mike ( David Zelina playing this college frat man as one major bastard you want to see die right away ) and his college cronies leave hypoglycemic diabetic Sam ( Caleb Roehrig ) hanging on a wooden cross along with this scarecrow which is a legendary ghost story . They get PO'd at Sam who essentially goes into shock and aims a swinging punch at Mike that lands across his girlfriend Patty ( Kristina Sheldon ) instead so leaving the poor guy hanging is his punishment . Somehow , Sam's soul " emerges " with the inanimate scarecrow who comes from the cross to destroy everyone who left the poor guy there to rot . Mike and the gang send the uninitiated dorks back to bring Sam down but they are the first to receive a swinging blade across their throats . Mike and his posse head for the beach to gulp booze , play volleyball & bicker until the scarecrow arrives to end their little soirée . Sam's substitute brother Jack ( Matthew Linhardt ) is supposed to look out for him , but decides to sleep with new love-interest Beth ( Samantha Aisling ) instead . So when he receives a cell-phone message from Mike concerning how they left Sam hanging on the cross while they were off at the beach taking in the sun and sand , Jack is frenzied with fear . Beth's estranged father is a doctor and he agrees to see after Sam's condition after they cut the nearly dead young man down taking him to emergency hospital . Returning to the beach to confront Mike because of his negligence ( . . not to mention Jack's promise to coach Ramsey , played by UFC fighter Ken Shamrock , regarding no hazing ) , Jack and Beth will face the same straw-stuffed assassin that is bumping off the others . Coach Ramsey , who was part of a past hazing incident that went awry causing killer-scarecrow-mischief , has to confront some demons himself as he informs the survivors of the group about what they are up against . Babes , boobs , and blood . . this flick follows the basic slasher guidelines . Yet , this flick also carries the typical slasher traits of corny characters , acting , dialogue and overall plot . The flick shows signs of it's low budget particularly in the violence as most of the real action takes place off-screen instead of showing it happening up , close & personal . What appears on screen is mostly the aftermath of the killer's vengeance : one fellow holding his guts , another with a stake ( holding up the group's volleyball net ) plunged through his chest , blood spatter after a woman gets hit over the head presumably with a large rock , one chick laying dead after the scarecrow hit her with the SUV , etc . There is also some dubbing problems where it's clear the sounds of their voices often don't match the movements of their lips . . particularly the unintentionally hilarious sequence where Ed ( Travis Parker ) , wannabe rock star , is singing to his buddies a horrible song they all seem quite impressed with . |
435,672 | 9,938,570 | 287,497 | 3 | Infested | Imagine if the unseen suicidal victim of " The Big Chill " secretly loathed the group gathering together after his funeral , in his memory , unleashing a deadly army of genetically engineered flies that enter the human body , taking control of the host , forcing them to attack those who haven't been invaded , as one by one become infested victims . Well , " Infested " is such a movie . And , as you watch , this film directly rips from " The Big Chill " with characters almost identical to those from the popular film from the 80's . I kind of chuckled to myself at the one responsible for causing the infestation towards the group who were supposed to be his pals , thinking that perhaps writer and director Josh Olson was poking fun at " The Big Chill " whose characters are a bit self-absorbed and self-important yuppies who wax existential at how they have changed since they last gathered looking at their lives differently . . Olson plays on that and then turns the swarm on them , with brutality often inflicted on the human hosts . It was like Olson was saying , " Take that you materialistic intellectuals , with your ideals and fancy lectures on how everything's going into the crapper as you live lavishly and comfortably ! " There's this use of bad 80's music in possibly endangering the flies that will probably cause some giggles and light kills them , so the characters at least have a fighting chance , even if it's minute . The effects are below-par , of course , and the CGI swarm of flies fail to impress . There's a great little icky scene where Zach Galligan's television actor Warren attempts to nurse a nasty flesh wound where a long gash forms down his leg with flies seen underneath the skin . But , there's one attack on a headless corpse , still invaded by flies , who is set on fire with laughable CGI that will have you rolling your eyes . Many Mighty Morphin Power Rangers fans should chuckle at former heroine Amy Jo Johnson , the final girl who must square off with the " King of the Flies " , who lets the f-bombs run rampant . Despite some early banter and a glimmer of exposition , it doesn't take Olson long in inflicting these characters with the infestation . Mark Margolies has an amusing cameo as a very unorthodox priest , with an especially entertaining closing scene . |
436,373 | 9,938,570 | 96,426 | 3 | Waxwork | David Lincoln ( David Warner ) sells his soul to the devil and murders the ancestor of Mark ( Zach Galligan ) at the beginning by putting his head in the fireplace as it was burning wood . Mark , Sarah ( Deborah Foreman ) , China ( Michelle Johnson ) & Tony ( Dana Ashbrook ) decide to got to a Midnight showing of a Waxworks . . this is a " museum " whose proprietor is Lincoln who hasn't aged a bit . Each museum exhibit is actually a gateway into another time where the classic monsters of horror await those who enter and are gullible to believe that these creatures can harm them . You have the worst Dracula in the history of cinema in Miles O'Keeffe , horrible werewolf costume representing John Rhys-Davies , J Kenneth Campbell as the Marquis de Sade turned into a cartoon , and the Mummy . Other creatures such as an alien , zombies , and Frankenstein's monster never get their full due because director Hickox can not slow the movie down enough to provide us with any kind of substance to hold a hat on . I swear this film is held together by plywood and string . Poor Patrick Macnee must do with a character called Sir Wilfred who has been planning an attack on Lincoln for sometime . The film is episodic showing what each character faces as they enter ( . . or are thrown into ) each exhibit . There's plenty of gore and the lovely Deborah Foreman is probably enough to give this film a go . Obviously lovers of the classic Universal horrors might find some worth in this drivel , but I have a feeling they will find the make-up work of these creatures as laughable to the point of disrespect . The whole film ends with Wilfred's unit of " soldiers " doing battle with the monsters once they are released from their " cages " after the museum is provided with enough souls by those who venture into the other world . It's a mess of bodies and violence that can become unbearable . |
436,264 | 9,938,570 | 247,303 | 3 | The Shaft | An elevator shaft , seemingly possessed by a malevolent force , is behind a string of violent attacks on innocents hitching a ride inside the prestigious American landmark Millennium building in New York City . Pleasant elevator repairman , Mark ( James Marshall ) , always having the same troubles holding employment , is basically holding this current job thanks to pal Jeff ( Eric Thal ) . Unfortunately , Mark comes across newspaper reporter Jennifer Evans ( a pre-stardom Naomi Watts , who is horribly dressed in this film . . it had to be some sort of gag ) who misquotes him risking his job and causing the police to label him as a possible suspect behind the evil elevator's malfunction . Mark finds that his friend , and colleague , Jeff had a friend who died tragically . . Jeff is also seen speaking with a lab-coated scientist named Steinberg ( Michale Ironside ) who was canned from a failed military project concerning bio-chip technology fused with the genetics of dolphins . The idea that you can cross computer technology with real living tissue could lead to quite a handsome profit . Could this be the cause of the shaft's going berserk ? Joining forces with Jennifer , who shows him a collection of cataloged recordings showing that the supposed suicidal ride of a rollerblader being pulled into and thrown out of the wicked shaft was merely a matter of seconds , Mark will seek to find the truth . When Jeff turns up dead , and it seems a cover-up is taking place labeling him a deranged terrorist , Mark will be extra-motivated in discovering the truth regarding the elevator and how to stop it . The question is will Steinberg , who is passionate about his life-s work , let Mark destroy the evil causing the shaft to kill ? A great cast squandered in this perfectly dreadful horror-comedy where it's clear from the get-go the director is winking at you that this hunk of waste is supposed to be giggled at as a tongue-in-cheek parody . If only it were entertaining or funny , but alas it isn't . Loaded with profanity , the film has an ugly streak amongst it's supposed good-natured humor . A B-movie failure that was a chore to sit through . It only has some gory bits , and that cast , going for it . Ron Pearlman is wasted as the head of Meteor Elevator Repair . |
436,568 | 9,938,570 | 99,994 | 3 | Leatherface : Texas Chainsaw Massacre III | A boyfriend and girlfriend traveling through Texas on their way to Florida have the misfortune of running up against the likes of Leatherface and a brand new clan of nutcases ( including a young Viggo Mortensen ) . The film shows a barren landscape of dirt and forest . The forest is the setting at night and inside it is where Leatherface and his clan ( including a mother with a mechanical voicebox and a father whose been dead quite a long time ) live . . a compound very similar to the one we are familiar with from the first film . Ken Foree is Benny , a hunter passing through who almost hits the couple trying to flee Leatherface who had just tore the trunk door off it's hinges . Will Benny be able to help the couple escape the cannibal clan's clutches ? I watched the mutilated version with studio demanded cuts . If it weren't for the excessive profanity , this could've easily covered the PG-13 market because the gore is missing . Even true graphic violence almost always appears off-camera . The ending feels like it was hacked by a chainsaw . And , Benny must have 9 lives , because there are at least three different instances where , for all intensive purposes , he should've been killed . The flick's cannibal clan aren't that demented enough and the direction is rather limp . There's no moment in this flick that raises you to a different level and the photography is just not that effective . The film might increase in quality a notch if the gory bits are inserted , but I'm not sure if even that will help much . The flick is uninspired and silly . Leatherface , despite his BIG chainsaw , isn't that menacing or memorable . Kate Hodge , as the terrorized female , is not very good . She really isn't even put to the test like often happens in other films . It also feels like it aspires to be a macabre comedy which might work if the humor was smart enough . It could just come down to Burr's direction which is anything but stellar . |
435,697 | 9,938,570 | 92,796 | 3 | Creepshow 2 | Trio of tales based on Stephen King stories within an anthology which doesn't hold a candle to the first film which not only featured more stories , but more entertaining , gory ones . The first is titles OLD CHIEF WOOD'NHEAD and is about three bastards who decide to pillage a kind husband and wife ( George Kennedy and Dorothy Lamour ) who run a department store . It ends in both being murdered by Native American heel Sam Whitemoon ( Holt McCallany ) who wanted the family jewelry given to the couple by his father Ben in accordance to owing them borrowed moneys during poverty-stricken times . A tall wooden Native American named Old Chief Wood'nhead comes to life to destroy them . The second tale is about four teens who decide to drive to a river spot holding a raft in the center . These kids realize that some massive form of sludge is coming towards them as they make their way onto the raft . One by one , the sludgy oil slick " eats " them until there's little choice but to try and swim for the shore where their car is parked ( the radio was left on ) . But , will anyone be left to take that swim ? The third is about a successful lawyer ( Lois Chile ) who is returning home after a tryst with a male prostitute . She accidentally hits a hitchhiker , and yet leaves the scene of the crime . What she doesn't expect is the hitchhiker's ghost who keeps returning for his ride . To be honest , this anthology is very mediocre and features decent , if uncomplicated , gore effects which expose how cheaply made this was . The cast isn't as lively as the previous film and the wraparound is made in weak animation one might expect to see on NBC in the 80's Cartoon Age . Just disappointing . The stories themselves also lack bite or true scares which also hurts . THE RAFT comes the closest to creating blood-curdling terror because of the difficult situation the young characters face against a blob that has you when it grabs hold . Stephen King has a small role in the segment THE HITCHHIKER as a truck driver and make-up extrordinaire Tom Savini is " The Creep " our guide through the tales . |
436,920 | 9,938,570 | 90,849 | 3 | Class of Nuke ' Em High | Tromaville High has become an amoral wasteland of filth thanks to the aftereffects of the nearby nuclear plant's accidental release of toxic waste . Unrestrained chaos crammed with absurd violence and crude behavior . Rather horrible , obviously intended to be , mess of a film with the filmmakers cutting loose the reins allowing the untalented cast free reign to ham it up . Craft was far down Troma's list of objectives for this gory sleazefest . The honor society are punks with eerie face paint jobs and wacky outfits . The German teacher who becomes a member , through a " toxic kiss " has the streaks down one side of her face that really gave me the creeps . The toxic monster , which dispatched the ANNOYING punks towards the end , is pretty cool , though . Kind of movie trash connoisseurs will embrace wholeheartedly . |
436,396 | 9,938,570 | 97,136 | 3 | Cutting Class | Someone is bumping off the teachers of a school and it's up to the lovely innocent Paula Carson ( Jill Schoelen , always a sight for sore eyes , especially when bending over in a short skirt ) to find out who it is . Is it her hot-headed boyfriend Dwight ( Brad Pitt ) or the recently released ( from a mental institution , no less ) Brian Woods ( Donovan Leitch ) , often hiding behind bushes and other objects to stare at Paula ? Someone shoots an arrow that lands in the torso of Paula's district attorney father ( Martin Mull ) who is out hunting ; he's the one responsible for putting Brian away for the murder of his abusive father . A running gag of the film has a hurt Mull trying to seek assistance , but never seeming to get it . Roddy McDowall has an amusing minor role as the high school principal , Mr . Dante , who lusts after Paula . . who could blame him for that ? The film follows Paula's uncertain search for the killer ; as the film continues , she's not quite sure if it's Brian ( who does seem like an appropriate suspect ) or her beloved Dwight . CUTTING CLASS is the 80's slasher formula on it's last legs . . the well has dried up and creativity is lacking . The murders are half-hearted and uninspired . . the film wreaks of tired clichés . You might even say CUTTING CLASS is a performance of the last rites for the 80's slasher genre . In my opinion , the only reason to see CUTTING CLASS is for Jill , wearing only a shirt to get the paper at the beginning of the film , and in a cheerleader uniform . . that is far more entertaining than this lifeless , stale exercise in tedium . I thought Leitch ( . . and Pitt , actually ) was terrible in the lead , and not the least bit convincing . |
436,389 | 9,938,570 | 430,684 | 3 | Tomb of the Werewolf | Elizabeth Bathory ( Michelle Bauer , REALLY getting into the role ) agrees to sacrifice female victims . . and , most importantly , bathe in their blood . . to her Lord Lucifer in exchange for eternal beauty and youth . A broke , yet brimming with charm , final descendant of the cursed Daninsky line , Richard ( Olen Ray alum , Jay Richardson ) asks for the face , Melanie ( Danielle Petty ) and producer Tony ( Leland Jay ) of the low-rent television program , Current Mysteries , to host a show at his family's European home of the infamous late Waldemar Daninsky ( Paul Naschy , merely in it for a little bit to get paid , but one can see he at least cares ) . Waldemar was on the verge of losing his beloved Eleanor ( Stephanie Bentley ) to the black plague when Ebath posed an offer he doesn't refuse . . in exchange for Eleanor's life , he sells his soul to Lucifer's angel , yet in return is cursed with lycanthropy . It is written he attacked , and killed , Eleanor when under the full moon curse . Imprisoned and killed with a silver cross embedded in his heart , Ebath will hypnotically force Richard to release Waldemar from his slumber , removing the large dagger as the werewolf emerges from his crypt to kill again . During the day we see a weary Waldemar looking on in sadness from the bushes and over cornered walls of his estate and the crew of Current Mysteries remain around the manor conducting their affairs . What Richard was seeking is supposed treasure , but this was merely a ruse by Ebath for unleashing Waldemar once again as anyone who has the misfortune of standing in the path of the werewolf will be torn into . Meanwhile , aging skin will force Ebath to chose another victim of the Current Mysteries crew for their blood . Well , to be honest , this is a sex movie without the special ingredient one watches it for . In actuality the film is smut masquerading as a horror film . . perhaps , that's why the sex scenes are removed . The distributer perhaps wanted this film to be marketed as a legitimate werewolf horror flick . . to it's credit there is some werewolf carnage . Some torn throats as flesh is ripped away as the werewolf munches away quite rabidly . Bauer really just let's it hang out as E Bathory just bathing in the red stuff and slurping away . In the version I watched , there's ample nudity ( mostly breasts ) and the lesbian sequences consist of groping and kissing . The cast is equipped with porn stars so you ought to know where this film's head is mostly at . . but , without the sex , the film really only consists of bad actors and uninspired dialogue . I rented it as a Paul Naschy / werewolf completest , but one shouldn't go into this thing expecting a massive amount of thrills . At least if the sex had remained , a certain crowd could've had that aspect for pleasure . As is , the film is cheaply made trying to have us believe the setting is in Europe with poor effects . For Fred Olen Ray fans only . Danielle Petty is quite striking as the raven-haired Melanie . . both in and out of clothes . |
436,292 | 9,938,570 | 840,304 | 3 | Ice Spiders | Prehistoric spiders , found in Afganistahn , are used in a DNA splicing process with live spiders from this age with their growth secretly altered by a governmental scientist ( David Millbern ) for their strong silk . . a notion conceived by our brain-trust in the secret portion of the government believe this silk can equip soldiers with bullet-proof armor among other things . The spiders are ravenous & bloodthirsty and obviously break free from the secret installation in the mountains where a ski-resort is located . Those tourists , and a team of skiers training for the Olympics , and the ski-resort personnel's lives are in grave danger as these different looking deadly monstrous spiders attack with a vengeance devouring their victims intensely . It'll be up to a past ski-pro ( Patrick Muldoon ) , who trains clients of the resort ( . . and in charge of teaching the ski-team , as well ) how to ski for he seems to be the only levelheaded person around . He befriends Dr . April Summers ( Vanessa Williams ) who works at the installation , but keeps their work there confidential . But , when she returns to the installation and finds her colleagues ' body parts strewn throughout , and one webbed to the wall with his legs removed , she will have to break her wall of silence to save lives . With Muldoon , Summers will have to find a way to stop the spiders which have them barricaded in the lodge , with only a matter of time before the things find a way in . Meanwhile , the ski-team , and the proprietor of the ski-resort ( Stephen J Cannell ) , are stuck in a school bus after an accidental crash , with a black widow spider slowly webbing them inside . The military are trying to find a way to keep from killing the spiders because of specific commands / codes they can not break , but will need Muldoon and Summers assistance . Muldoon and Summers wish to kill the spiders so that their threat to the outside world will be purged . But , our cunning slimy scientist Millbern will do whatever it takes to see his spiders back in the laboratory for more experimental testing . This is simply another clichéd monster movie where the government screws around with nature leaving the end result of dead innocents attacked by creatures of immense size . The computer effects are as mediocre as always since Sci-Fi Channel productions often do not create realistic enough effects to satisfy . There are some gory bits where limbs lay in cakes of blood as Summers looks at the carnage that ensued from their attempts at merging the DNA of two very different species . These government people will never learn . This contains the same clichéd heroes going through the motions and the same evil scientist who gets his comeuppance . Nothing new here to report , just same-ole-same-ole . The climax with Muldoon being chased down a slope with one hand while the other is carrying a torch producing heat to antagonize the spiders so that they will become trapped by the military waiting down hill is preposterous . And , the twist with a possible cover-up after all that has taken place is pure rubbish . I mean , there's no way anybody could cover up that much carnage . |
436,537 | 9,938,570 | 99,697 | 3 | Graveyard Shift | This is one that goes under the title , " How To Make a Bad Creature Feature . " Still , it's completely trashy nature charms me somewhat . It certainly has enough filth , garbage & rats to satisfy anyone who loves to immerse themselves in low-rent horror . Down in the bowels of a cotton mill lives something quite sinister , with an appetite for factory workers who venture anywhere near his lair . John Hall ( Dana Andrews , who is simply a lifeless blank ) is a mysterious drifter who wanders into the position of running a Graveyard Shift textile machine once operated by someone else who saw something massive and fell it that blasted machine providing the rats with nourishment . Warwick ( Stephen Macht , a hoot as he overextends his character's menace to the extreme ) is the manager of the mill with a bit of a nasty streak which hides under a vile visage . Tucker Cleveland ( Brad Dourif , who easily steals the film with his limited time on screen ) is the exterminator of the mill who works day and night wasting those rat-vermin who wish to rear their ugly heads from the bowels . This mill should've been closed down forever , but Warwick has a way of extending time for a 4th of July clean-up where those who decide to work for double-pay , including Hall and his love-interest Jane ( Kelly Wolf ) , will find true horror down in the basement of the place . I have no right whatsoever recommending this hunk of pure trash to anyone , but those who enjoy rats and garbage may find it amusing . It's full of nefarious , colorfully animated characters like Macht's evil manager and Dourif's exterminator which may bring a delight to trash-lovers everywhere . Highlights include Dourif's exterminator explaining to Hall about an experience in Vietnam which inspired his choice of occupation where a prisoner of war is used as meat for specially trained rats ( as he expresses in exact detail , Dourif gets so caught up in the intensity of the character he sheds a tear . . that ought to bring a bit of respect from some that an actor of his caliber would care so much to give away part of himself to such a rotten movie ) , or how Hall traps the monster in the textile machine . But how Warwick goes over the edge , insanely with face paint used from grease of an old jar , as he chases after the creature has to be the ultimate highlight . I think the best audience for this type of film is those lovers of bad Creature features , because in it's own ugly way , this film can be entertaining . But , it doesn't have one good bone in it's body , so others might wish to stay as far away as possible . |
436,601 | 9,938,570 | 314,204 | 3 | Creature Unknown | Steve ( Chris Hoffman ) gathers a group from high school for a reunion at the cabin location where his twin brother Wes went missing . While they are there , a reptilian creature in the shape of a man ( reminded me a lot of the Gillman from CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON ) awaits in the wilderness choosing the right time to pick them apart one by one . A biker , Ellen Ripley-type time female bad-ass , Kat ( Chase Masterson ) has an underground military bunker she practices experiments in , while it also serves as a place of safety from the thing on the bloody rampage . Kat knows more than she's telling ( she also suffered the loss of a child ) , but there's another novelty twist most of the group have no idea of . This creature might just be more human than they realize . . and it's former identity might shed some light on a deception only one other person has been hiding since Wes ' death . Kat holds the key to many of the mysteries that unlock as the group remains near the cabin . Thankfully , a large portion of the film stays away from the creature which leaps in the air while we also see a hazy screen when we look through it's eyes . The film has Dawson's Creek-type melodramatics which often hinder any real tension that needs to build in a little monster movie . The direction is very bland leading to a relatively dull experience instead of eliciting scares . The cast is rather life-less and uninteresting . Pretty Maggie Grace ( THE FOG remake ) might be the only draw for this film . |
436,291 | 9,938,570 | 974,583 | 3 | Lake Placid 2 | A sheriff ( John Schneider , really stuck with some corner one liners when he blasts the monsters ) must contend with several large crocodiles which are eating locals . His past lady-love , Helen ( Sarah Lafleur ) , an animal conservationist , along with an egotistical wealthy hunter ( Sam McMurray ) and his sidekick Ahmed ( Joe Holt ) will assist the sheriff in his duties to take each croc out . They try to pry knowledge about these crocs from Sadie Bickerman ( Cloris Leachman , the only thing that works in this film is her nasty loathsome character who loves the crocs more than people ) who loves her " babies " and seems unwilling to give them jack squat . Making matters worse is that the sheriff's son ( Chad Collins ) , and his love-interest Kerri ( Alice Ziegler ) are fending for their lives after a couple of the crocs devoured their high school pals . Leave it to the always reliable Sci-Fi Channel to drop another rotten giant monster movie of low quality in our laps . . this one having the misfortune of being a sequel to the entertaining B-movie that came out year back from writer David E Kelley and director Steve Minor . While that film had a very enjoyable cast consisting of Bill Pullman , Bridget Fonda , Oliver Platt & especially scene-stealing Betty White ( . . Chloris plays Betty's sister in the sequel ) , this sequel has no-names with limited ability to even convey a minuscule of charm . It could be because the dialogue is so laughable and special effects so poor . How can anyone , much less Schneider proclaim the quip , " Afterwhile , Crocodile ! " and make it work ? |
435,884 | 9,938,570 | 474,531 | 4 | Oasis of the Zombies | Leaden paced , practically unbearable zombie film which features very little of the undead attackers . Jesús Franco effectively shoots the desert dunes , but his camera lingers on a lot of unimportant details regarding the planned expedition in search of an oasis in the Sahara desert containing 6 million dollars of gold stored there by Nazi German soldiers who died in a shoot-out with British soldiers in WWII . Leading the expedition is a college student , Robert ( Manuel Gélin ) who discovered the truth about the gold reading his slain father's ( Javier Maiza ) diaries . Robert's father was betrayed by a colleague , Kurt ( Henri Lambert ) who desired to have all the gold , along with his wife ( Myrian Landson ) , carrying two workers to help him dig up the buried loot . Besieged by the risen corpses of those fallen German soldiers , only Kurt escapes alive , badly bitten on the throat and haunted by what he had witnessed . Despite seeing Kurt die before his very eyes , undaunted , Robert forges ahead to greet a friend of his father's , a sheik ( Antonio Mayans ) who helped him recuperate after the firefight with the Germans . Warned by the sheik to not go to the oasis , Robert is still unpersuaded ( . . some guys just can't take a hint ) and will be assisted by his lead towards the direction of the dangerous oasis . Before setting off for the sheik's palace , Robert and his friends met a professor , Konrad Deniken ( Albino Graziani ) and his assistant , Sylvie ( Caroline Audret ) who had planned to go to the oasis . Sylvie actually had sparks with Robert's pal , Ronald ( Eric Viellard ) before she and her boss headed off for the oasis . Robert and company find the oasis and discover Professor Konrad , Sylvie and their crew unconscious after an attack by the zombies ( . . only Sylvie , with cuts and bruises , and a critically harmed Konrad , still alive ) . . but , even this doesn't turn Robert away from attempting to find the gold and staying the night . Robert has to be one of the most bird-brained characters in movie history . . and his friends aren't off the hook either . I mean seriously , what evidence isn't presented over the film's running time that doesn't say that going to that oasis is a really ill-advised idea ? ! And , not surprising , Robert's friends are under attack as the sun vanishes and the rot-faced undead Germans descend upon them . Franco uses a lot of zoom and really shoots faces up close . There's a great deal of repetition , though , and it grows increasingly tedious because there's no imagination in shooting the same images over and over . The zombie faces are grotty and worm-infested , and this is actually rather effective , but the music score and bizarre sound effects ( full of a series of really odd noises ) that accompany them are just annoying and uneventful . Scenes featuring characters are often drawn out . . this would be okay if they were even remotely interesting , which they are not . And , you know , it's really hard to feel any sympathy for a group of people who continue toward a destination with every possible warning of danger is displayed before them . You just want to shake the moron out of them . The zombie attacks are not the least bit gory and Franco doesn't spend very much time on the swarm of undead as they mob a victim . The oasis and the surrounding sand are of more interest to Franco than the story itself . The film devotes a lot of time to Robert's father's courageous fight against the Germans and his romance with an African named Aisha ( Doris Regina ) after her people help him heal his wounds , setting up the plot regarding the oasis , Nazis that dies there , and the gold everyone covets . It's 82 minutes than feels more like 2 hours . Hardcore zombie fans will probably find this hard to sit through unless they fast-forward through all the uninvolving filler . There are some incredible uses of the sun ( . . as it lights the desert horizon ) which show that Franco can indeed spellbind you at times , even if the pace and characters do not . My favorite sequence has Franco shooting the darkly silhouetted zombies emerging over the dunes , after arising from their sandy graves , making their way towards the group , in the climactic showdown . |
436,107 | 9,938,570 | 59,199 | 4 | Frankenstein Meets the Spacemonster | Aliens from a planet devastated by an atomic war seek Earth women for new breeding stock to re-populate their nearly extinct species ( . . looking human with costumes reminiscent of the old Flash Gordon serials from long ago ) landing in their little space pod on a stretch of land in San Juan , Puerto Rico . Princess Marcuzan ( Marilyn Hanold , wearing a funny hat ) & her lieutenant Dr . Nadir ( Lou Cutell , with an applied dome and pointy ears ) have their men interrupting NASA's series of take-offs by blowing their space vehicles to pieces . One such interruption messes up scientist Adam Steele's ( a young James Karen of " Return of the Living Dead " fame ) mandroid operating the vessel , creating a fusion of hysteria , confusion , and mania , while also badly damaging one side of Frank's ( Robert Reilly ) face . Frank comes across several innocent bi-standers trying to defend themselves , killing the folks by strangulation or machete ( . . one fellow was chopping wood , attempting to defend himself and being hacked to death in the process , off-screen ) while traveling incoherently from one place to the next with seriously troubled programming that needs repairing . Steele and his assistant Karen ( Nancy Marshall , who cares for Frank ) travel with military man , General Bowers ( David Kerman ) to San Juan where Frank was located . . the exact same place where the alien ship had landed . While kidnapping bikini-clad hotties touring the beaches or go-go dancing , Princess and Nadir test their captive women for " purification " while Steele and Karen find Frank really in a worsening state . Karen is told to go for help while Steele works on his creation but she is kidnapped by Pricess ' men and caged near their pet furry monster Mull . Seeking information from Karen , soon Steele and Frank find the whereabouts of the alien ship . Steele will have Frank stay near the ship as he goes to call Bowers to cease firing on the aliens for fear of killing innocent women inside . But , Princess ' men drag Frank inside ( why ? ) and leave him on a table unguarded while they plan to blast off in fear of suffering major damage . But , Frank has other plans and a battle with the beasty Mull will commence with hopes of Karen and the other captured girls hoping to escape . Terrible make-up effects , cheap sets , badly inserted archival footage , clumsy dubbing , and hilarious monster are either a glutton of punishment or amusement for the viewer . Hanold and Cutell seem to know what kind of movie they're stuck in , and , as the evil alien leaders , play their roles with a sense of fun . . a tongue-in-cheek attitude by them , with Hanold stuck in a funny costume and Cutell in silly alien make-up , they are able to chew scenery . I especially enjoy the homo-erotic sequence where Hanold's Princess is getting a good look at one of her collected specimens as Nadir grins widely . Reilly walks around in a stooper , with a silly-putty face disfigurement for a large portion of the film , when he isn't attacking some poor soul . His fight with the monster is a real hoot . Fans of Ed Wood and Grade-Z schlock will get a kick out of this more than anyone else . There's no reason why Frankenstein's name should even be mentioned in this movie or it's title . Used probably to sucker viewers to the drive-ins to see it . Some 60's songs and odd musical arrangements are layered throughout this disaster of a film . This is indeed a turkey sure to delight fans of rancid cinema . |
436,653 | 9,938,570 | 35,096 | 4 | The Mummy's Tomb | Cheap , mediocre sequel to the successful " The Mummy's Hand " has presumably dead evil Professor Andoheb ( George Zucco ) preparing his predecessor Mehemet Bey ( Turhan Bey ) for the quest of revenge overseas to America using mummy Kharis ( Lon Chaney , Jr who has no reason being in the disguise . . any stunt man could do the same credible work lumbering around and choking victims ) in the goal of killing the surviving members of the Banning family whose patriarch Stephen ( Dick Foran ) and assistant Babe Hanson ( Wallace Ford ) retrieved the mummified corpse of Princess Ananka from her tomb in Egypt . . Andoheb considers this an outlandish act of desecration and wants the family to suffer for doing such an awful deed towards an ancient Egyptian custom . Bey and the mummy Kharis find a nice hideaway in a cemetery where the High Priest of Karnak can work as a caretaker in disguise . Every Full Moon , Bey will feed Kharis a form of liquid derived of several Tana leaves which will keep him not only alive but subservient to his master's wishes . Bey commands Kharis to kill Stephen and his sister Jane ( Mary Gordon ) , while also biding time for Babe to return so that he will become victim # 3 . Dr . John Banning ( John Hubbard ) plans to wed Isobel ( Elyse Knox ) , but doesn't know that Bey secretly covets his fiancé making plans to kidnap her with Kharis ' help . John's life is in danger because of his father . . he's also the last remaining member of the Banning line . If Bey has Isobel , there's no chance of any more Bannings being born . The police must find Kharis and the one responsible for his carnage . . Bey . This film is a continuation from HAND set years later as members of that film , Foran , Ford & Zucco all appear in " aging " make-up providing wrinkles showing the gaps in time as Andoheb has been preparing for the deaths of the Bannings . The cornball romance of John and Isobel seems merely in this plot so that Bey will screw up endangering his perfect plan which was being carried out successfully before he loused it up . And , Bey merely sees her frolicking with John on the grass . . the whole " love-at-first-sight " rubbish really didn't wash for me . Plus you have the mummy being able to kill people with one arm . . is any mummy really THAT powerful ? This film also uses a ton of footage from the previous film to save budget on this sequel to it . There really isn't that much story here and yes , typical of Universal monster pictures , even in America a mob of people will light . . ho hum . . torches going after Kharis . You know how it'll end . . John and the super-powerful Kharis will square off in some huge mansion with fire burning all around them with the evil one being engulfed in flame . |
436,683 | 9,938,570 | 56,528 | 4 | Slaughter of the Vampires | A vampire ( a hammy Dieter Eppler who moves as fast as lightning with little to no dialogue ) terrorizes Aristocrat married couple Wolfgang ( Walter Brandi ) and large-chested Louise ( the ravishing Graziella Granata ) in an old granite castle where he rests his coffin in the wine cellar . The vampire also eyes the other females ( including the little girl of a gardener as well ) . . he just wishes to infect as many of the ladies as possible . It will be up to Dr . Nietzsche , vampire slayer ( Luigi Batzella , always puffing a cigar ) to stop the bloodthirsty menace or else . Despite lavish castle setting and the ruins around it , good fluid camera-work , and attractive lighting , this flick suffers from really bad dialogue and dubbing that's hard to shake off . It has too many dull patches and often feels a lot longer than 80 minutes . Eppler isn't very impressive as the vamp despite having a towering presence . . something's wrong with that . Granata as the fetching Louise makes delicious eye candy . Bloodless bite sequences and we never see puncture wounds where the vampire bites his victims despite those neckless gowns Granata wears ( and with such an enticing neck , wounds should certainly show ) only adds to the problems of the film . |
436,267 | 9,938,570 | 37,099 | 4 | The Mummy's Ghost | Lon Chaney Jr returns to lumber along as the mummy Kharis seeking his mate , Annanka whose soul now resides in the beautiful host of descendant Amina ( Ramsay Ames ) . Andoheb , High Priest of Arkan ( George Zucco ) leaves Yousef Bey ( John Carradine ) in charge of Kharis to continue their evil-doing ways . Tom ( Robert Lowery ) must find a way to save his beloved Amina from certain future mummy terror . Routine , predictable entry in the Kharis series proves that nearly every film follows a specific format / formula . The city is threatened by a skulking , one-armed corpse masked in wrapping who seems to have been gifted with superhuman power to choke the life out of able-bodied men who are restrained with relative ease by a mere chokehold from Kharis . Frank Reicher , who saw Kharis in action . . and knows a great deal about Egyptian history . . in the previous film ( The Mummy's Tomb ) , proves that anyone who happened to survive a previous encounter with the mummy is sure to die if he returns in the next flick . Well produced , but lacks originality that would set it apart from the other films in the series . Sadly , Carradine sleepwalks through his role as the evil Yousef Bey . Embarrassing script mistake has Kharis , who is known for donning a crippled , lame right arm , carrying an unconscious Amina with both arms for long distances with no ill effects . One aspect , the shocking climax where Tom's attempt at heroism doesn't go according to plan as Kharis holds his damsel-in-distress hostage , lifts the film from the doldrums slightly . |
436,596 | 9,938,570 | 85,693 | 4 | The Scarecrow sadly reviews " House of the Long Shadows " | I have to admit that seeing Cushing , Lee , Price , and Carradine in the same room together gave me thrills and joy . What saddens me is that their great monumental teaming is in this turgid exercise which is , at times , a daunting task just to sit through . While the film has some wonderful lighting and the manor for which Arnaz , Jr stays is ominously photographed . Sadly , it's the ebb and flow of the film itself that disappoints . The film is a mixed bag for me . While I pleasured every moment the great stars spent on screen , they were stuck within a story that was a trial to watch . What hurts even more is that bore of a character played by Arnaz , Jr . who ought to thank his lucky stars mama was Lucille Ball for he did nothing for the film whatsoever except prove how bland and unlikable that prick of an author could be . I wished that Lee would spring from the shadows and bite a plug out of his neck so I could continue to watch the other stars for whom I really desire to see . The film is supposedly about an author who bets his publisher he can write a horror novel in 24 hours . His author has a manor for Arnaz , Jr to stay in and so this is the place for all the " action " to take place . Arnaz , Jr . finds that the manor is filling up with mysterious characters who represent the Grisbane family ( Vincent Price as Lionel , Peter Cushing as Sebastian , John Carradine as Lord , and Sheila Keith as Victoria ) . This family harbors a dark secret which is held within a sealed room in the manor . Christopher Lee portrays Corrigan , someone who buys property and is to possibly purchase the Grisbane estate , but there's more to him than meets the eye . Julie Peasgood portrays Mary Norton , Arnaz , Jr . ' s publisher's assistant , and possible love interest . The film follows Arnaz , Jr as he tries to uncover the mysteries that lurk behind the Grisbane family for deaths start to occur thanks to the " curse " in the house . The film has some genuine moments of Gothic atmosphere , but unfortunately too many twists at the end , not to mention not enough screen time for the legendary horror kings make everything such a waste . Arnaz , Jr . just doesn't have any charisma and I just kept feeling like there should be more to this film than ever materializes . |
436,573 | 9,938,570 | 350,061 | 4 | Ripper 2 : Letter from Within | A group of deeply troubled teens take part in an experimental " humanizing " program once they are all sedated . It's a means of facing the horrid evil that plagues their delusional fantasies , using serial killer , Molly ( Erin Karpluk ) as the catalyst . The program seems to hinge on how Molly reacts to the virtual world created once they together are induced in a deep sleep . The terrifying element is that the evil inside Molly indeed separates and for the first time she is normal without the evil . But , the birthright and genes of being a descendant of Jack the Ripper wish to reunite with Molly and it is represented by a hulking figure covered with a giant Grim Reaper-esquire cloak . Each member who participated in the program are being annihilated by the evil manifestation within the dream state and when you are killed in this realm , you die in reality . Will Molly be able to deny the evil which wants to reconnect ? The doctor behind this project , with all it's flaws , is Samuel Wiesser ( Richard Bremmer ) who honestly believes he can remove what ills those who are not normal members of society . The flick basically rips off A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET with a cloaked Ripper in place of Freddy absent the goofy macabre wisecracks . The film is ambitious enough , but doesn't have the budget or smarts to hold together . The premise , though , comes off rather silly and confusing . It's not gory enough and the ending really only fuels the incoherency of the whole picture . The film is just too herky-jerky for it's own good . Does have atmosphere to spare , but that's pretty much it . |
436,948 | 9,938,570 | 52,646 | 4 | The Brain That Wouldn't Die | Frankenstein gave birth to many hell spawns in the Mad Scientist genre and one of the most notorious cases of this is none other than THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE . Positively bizarre in every shape and form , this movie gives you exactly what it says in the title , the disembodied head of a nurse , decapitated during a violent crash , is kept alive thanks to an experimental serum , created from the genius of a brilliant , but quietly psychotic ( . . perhaps to fellow scientists , he'd be referred to as " emotionally driven " ) , scientist . Jason Evers is this very scientist , Dr . Bill Cortner , and his fiancé , the one whose brain was kept alive , is Jan ( Virginia Leith ) . Jan doesn't want to live and realizes that the serum keeping her from death is providing great mental powers . A monster resides in a locked room , a victim of Cortner's various transplantation experiments , is very angry , and wants out . . Jan has a mental line of communication with this thing and is concocting a plan to free it so that her miserable existence can end . Meanwhile , Cortner scours around town looking for a delectable body to transplant to Jan , finding one in an enraged model , Doris ( Adele Lamont ) , a man-hating beauty whose furor derives from the abuse of a former lover who left a hideous gash down her left cheek . Cortner's assistant , Kurt ( Leslie Daniels ) , has an ongoing war of words with Jan over her being stuck in the very uncomfortable position and current predicament . Kurt's left arm is withered and crippled and he continues helping Cortner despite how obviously psychotic he truly is , because of that hope of potential success in the transplant ion of limbs and flesh through a truly perfected serum . Jan's only ally in stopping Cortner's madness is the beast in the locked room and he must be freed . The premise is just beyond crazy and all you can do is watch in awe as the whole movie transpires . Leith as Jan is a hoot , full of vitriol , vehemently opposed to her fiancé's dangerous scientific methods and immoral conduct , constantly voicing her displeasure in regards to being a head in a tray . Her feud with Kurt is an unintentional comedy , the way they attack each other's current weaknesses , and the insults fly . The monster's facial make-up looks like a botched version of the Cyclops creature , and the man portraying it is huge . The handsome Evers drives around checking out the ladies he comes in contact with as jazzy burlesque music plays in the background . Lamont as the bitter model is also noteworthy , spitting venom at lecherous photographers who want to get more cozy with their luscious subject . It's also amazing how Kurt can not , for the life of him , stay away from the door of the beast , and clumsily opens a hatch ( . . a hatch just big enough for the man-monster to fit his giant hand through no less ) resulting in getting his arm ripped off ( . . this occurs off screen , but Cortner later finds him , and the walls of his lab , a bloody mess ) ! The final climactic sequence ends rather abruptly with your typical laboratory going up in flames just before Cortner is about to sever Doris ' head ( . . to spark the scene , Cortner tapes Jan's mouth shut because she won't shut her yap ! ) . . it's a given that the monster would eventually free itself from the cage containing it . |
436,089 | 9,938,570 | 283,974 | 4 | Return to Cabin by the Lake | Preposterous sequel stretches credibility to a great degree as diabolical sociopath Stanley Kaldwell returns this time infiltrating the movie production of the novel he wrote for the garden drownings , assuming the identity of a second unit director he murdered . Film pokes gleeful fun at Hollywood , with a tongue-in-cheek script taking shots at tyrannical directors who sleep with their actresses ( . . looking for a way up the ladder ) and dislike anyone challenging them for complete spotlight . Brian Krause , who I thought was dreadful , overacting to the point where the satire felt incredibly forced , portrays the loud , temperamental director who doesn't like the fact that his second unit director and screenplay writer , Alison ( . . played by Dahlia Salem ) seem to be taking over the production . Andrew Moxham is Paul Parsons , who is the brother of a victim from the first film . The film's dark humor this time takes the idea of a serial killer actually operating as director of a movie set and exploits it for all it's worth . Nelson again ably slides back into his psycho role without any difficulty , with Stanley as clever as ever , using his brains to commandeer a film production , killing whoever he has to in order to maintain full control of his work , letting no one stand in his way . . that is until Alison realizes who Stanley really is . Alison is the type of ambitious writer who wants to capture the essence of her subject . . what motivated Stanley to kill , why would he do such a thing , and what led such a man down this dark path ? The humor of Alison actually working with that very man is also part of the satire at the heart of this dark comedy thriller . Of course , you get the inevitable showdown between Alison and Stanley , with a really ridiculous , unbelievable conclusion regarding the killer's fate ( . . quite a hard pill to swallow ) . Unlike the first film , which was photographed with sophisticated polish , director Po-Chih Leong uses unnecessary techniques which are not needed ( . . such as shooting an all kinds of weird angles , slow-motion in a sepia color , and several instances which are captured on video ) and rather annoy instead of impress . This sequel , to me , just wasn't on target as much as the original , with a lot of the humor less effective and more obvious . |
435,731 | 9,938,570 | 87,796 | 4 | Mutant | Toxic chemicals in the water ( dumped there by employees at a plant titled , New Era ) turn locals in the little town of Goodland into zombies . " City boys " Josh ( Wings Hauser ) & Mike ( Lee Montgomery ) are traveling on vacation when they come across some rowdy locals of Goodland who drive them off into a massive ditch . When Mike is attacked by something that drags him underneath his bed at a boarding house ran by a mysterious old lady ( Mary Nell Santacroce ) , Josh is left wondering where his brother has vanished to . The creepy lady tells him Mike wasn't in his room so Josh sets out to find him . The town has become derelict as Josh searches for his brother when he meets a school teacher , Holly ( beautiful Jody Medford ) tending to her sick uncle's tavern . They will soon become allies in a battle against zombies whose skin is a ghastly , ghostly white with yellow goo replacing red blood in their bodies . . if the zombies touch you , a steam becomes present and the acidic grasp kills . Alcoholic Sheriff Will Stewart ( Bo Hopkins ) , who is reeling from the accidental shooting of a child when he once a big city cop , is quite bewildered at what is happening to his town . He'll have to join forces , albeit reluctantly , with Josh to stop the carnage of the zombie outbreak . Can Will convince outstand law enforcement of the horror that has overwhelmed his little town ? Can the outbreak itself be silenced or is the threat to the entire country a possibility ? Average zombie flick doesn't have much originality . The closing final twenty minutes ratchets up the suspense as poor Josh and Holly become besieged by the monsters they once knew as regular people . There's a harrowing school sequence where Holly loses a young student she is trying to protect to the toxic little monsters as they invade a restroom . The film expects us to believe Josh & Holly could escape an army of those things as the screenplay allows them too much leeway , illogically , apart from them . Take a scene in an abandoned gas station where they are absolutely surrounded , yet the toxic monsters , a crap-load of them , don't simply attack when there's absolutely nowhere to run . Time and time again , the screenplay allows Josh to escape certain doom . The plot is just too unrealistic . And , how the zombies mutate ( from drinking toxic water ) after a lengthly illness seems rather far-fetched and silly . Jennifer Warren portrays Dr . Myra Tate who is a former squeeze of Will's and the town's female doctor whose assistant changes into a mutant attacking her . |
435,918 | 9,938,570 | 303,732 | 4 | Bloody Murder 2 | Camp counselors , preparing for the closing of the year shortly after the kids have gone , are picked off one by one by the supposed Placid Pines boogeyman , Trevor Moorehouse . Moorehouse is the mythic killer talked about in scary campfire stories , and is the one felt by many to be behind a slaughter of a group from five years back . Tracy ( Katy Woodruff , showing off her incredible body in tight clothing ) lost her brother Jason to the killer ( . . or , at least in her nightmares ) and now must face him herself since it's clear that she is to be singled out as the chief heroine of this flick . Her love interest is Mike ( Kelly Gunning ) who might just be the killer , or is at least one suspect the plot offers us while another might very well be the group's boss , Rick ( Arthur Benjamin ) . The killer wears a white mask and does his nasty work with the usual tools such as a machete ( in the film's most inspired kill , a drifter on his way to college gets his leg cut off and thrown to the side ) , an old-fashioned stone , and a butcher knife . Most of the violence occurs to each victim when they find themselves alone often looking for another ( yawn ) . Is this killer really Trevor ? Or , is there a killer one of them . . ala Ten Little Indians ? Almost a direct model of the Friday THE 13TH franchise for the exception of the mystery involving who the killer is . The red herring is an insult . . a complete , unabashed rip from Friday THE 13TH . The stylish direction on a low budget can not compensate for the uninspired story-line which just doesn't freshen stale material remade in countless rip-offs over and over again . It does have Tiffany Shepis ( becoming a cult icon for horror fans for she doesn't mind showing her terrific body in all it's glory ) , who portrays horny Angela , who loses one beau and immediately hops onto Tracy's man . The film doesn't really add anything new in the bloodshed-department , either . It does have a following , and I guess I've seen worse . Still , this is nothing more than a slasher retread . |
435,803 | 9,938,570 | 271,210 | 4 | Slasher take on " Rope " | What if you had the genius of Hitchcock's ROPE and took a giant crap on it . . this foul-mouth , modern updating on the perfect murder ( s ) has this psycho named Nick ( Rick Otto , looking like a young Ethan Hawke , without the talent , merely a cocky obnoxious a$$hole ) whose holding a going-away party for his pal , Jimmy ( Lucas Babin ) who is ( un ) surprisingly missing as their friends gather together to drink and smoke weed ( . . often through this very unusual bong ) wondering where the man-of-honor is . Quietly , Nick murders each one , through various methods when the others as a group are away , developing his perfect plan in place . The professor , obsessed with the art of crime and death , Hal ( Glenn Quinn ) is who inspired him to attempt such a feat . Despite Nick's use of damaging weapons , the director cleverly avoids showing any grisly violence . The film really plays with the wickedness of the situation as various people attempt to leave the party , dying at Nick's hand when he gets them alone . " R . S . V . P " is almost completely set in Nick's uncle's pad , except for the opening sequences setting up the rest of the film ( . . a murder investigation leading into a class , taught by Hal , and the beer drinking toast between Nick and Jimmy ) . Brandi Andres portrays Jim's girlfriend , Nick's ex , who the screenplay sets up as the final girl . Jason Mewes pretty much plays his Jay character from " Clerks " as a wise-cracking druggie , care-free and the life of the party . He easily steals his scenes if you can appreciate his brand of comedy . Despite director Mark Anthony Galluzzo's ambitions , this is really just another run-of-the-mill slasher where you realize that the killer will eventually make that one mistake , despite somehow amazingly succeeding in carrying out a parade of murders without getting caught thanks to a screenplay that allows him to , which will lead to his downfall . Veterans character actors Jonathan Banks and Lynch icon Grace Zabriskie portray Walter and Mary Franklin , Jimmy's uncle & aunt . I treasured their time on screen , because they bring a sense of relief that you can appreciate , especially once they " exit " the film and we're back stuck with the hard-partying brood . The film is full of sequences involving discussions on death and those whose lives revolved around murder . . . along with plenty of sex jokes and Mewes tongue wagging at the sights of tight female asses in jeans . Slasher fans might enjoy some of the tongue-in-cheek murders such as what Nick does to an uninvited guest , a neighbor from next door who interrupts the well-developed plan . |
436,137 | 9,938,570 | 790,686 | 4 | Mirrors | Major spoilers perhaps present . - - A night watchman ( Keifer Sutherland ) , once a detective who accidentally murdered an NYC cop while undercover , is taking an obscene number of drugs to kick his lingering alcohol problem stemming from the unfortunate crisis which removed him from the force . His duty is to periodically check throughout the damaged ruins of a once lavish mall overcome by fire due to a supposed nut-case who set it afire hoping to destroy the mirrors which occupied the entire establishment . What this watchman , Ben Carson , never imagined is that the " lunatic ravings " of a man , who claimed that the mirrors were responsible for the murders of his family , would actually be true ! Soon the mirrors target their intentions towards Ben and his immediate family , estranged wife , Amy ( Paula Patton ) , son and daughter Michael & Daisy ( Cameron Boyce & Erica Gluck ) , and particularly bartender sis , Angela ( Amy Smart ) . Like those plagued by the mirrors before him , such as the film's opening victim , the night watchman he replaced , Gary Lewis ( Josh Cole ) , Ben will face a harrowing crisis . . stopping whatever evil lies behind the mirrors hoping to uncover the secret so that he can save his family from harm . When his own attempts at destroying the mirrors fail , Ben discovers that the evil force wishes for him to find " Esseker " , and so his pursuit begins . There are some things I enjoyed in the theater from Aja's latest dud to hit theaters unwelcome ( . . why is Fox releasing this film in August instead of October , where a much greater opening would've at least came ? ) . The Mayflower mall at night is really a spooky place . . . and a perfect " haunted house " where mirrors and horrifying cries of victims are used to supreme effect as Ben and his flashlight comb the darkness for discoveries . The idea of finding yourself completely vulnerable to the demonic forces that can kill using reflecting mirrors , and foretelling just how little room for escape there is because " mirrors are everywhere " . Two gruesome deaths are presented unflinchingly . . a victim's throat is sliced with the wound opening up in ghastly fashion thanks to his evil reflection ( . . not by his own hand which makes the kill even more outrageous ) & a victim whose face is ripped apart from her mouth ( . . ouch ! ) . There are creepy scenes where a reflection remains in it's stance even as a person moves away from the mirror ( . . nice visual effects for these sequences ) . But , the film's final 30 minutes or so as Ben discovers that a mental hospital was once underneath the Mayflower for psychiatric patients by a doctor using a peculiar technique with mirrors ( . . to free the evils plaguing those burdened with such psychological traumas as schizophrenia ) , and that a particular patient , perhaps possessed with demonic forces , was released from there , Aja's film treads familiar territory . And , the final climax between a certain nun discovered who might hold the key to his family being saved , as they make their way to a secret room , walled up by brick due to the Mayflower mall , and Ben's family finding themselves in a supernatural battle with the evil working through the mirrors , really tests our threshold for accepting such contrived and ludicrous situations . The screenplay does whatever is humanly possible to save Ben's family even though we know that if the evil behind the mirrors really were allowed to , they would've killed them all . And , when a certain nun agrees to help Ben , and is overcome by evil , it's the same old cop versus demonically possessed human except with explosions and toppling stone and pipes . And , as one realizes that Aja just can never resist , there's a twist at the end concerning Ben's fate which is a yawner . Aja really needs to get out of this Hollywood studio system that is raping him of the skills he might possess . And , could someone PLEASE save Amy Smart from such dreck . Man , Sutherland gives everything he has to this role and I applaud him for his efforts . |
436,966 | 9,938,570 | 922,642 | 4 | Tooth & Nail | A small community of young adults ( . . and a mute kid with roller skates ) whose leader is a professor ( Robert Carradine ) , living within the confines of a massive hospital in a major city after civilization has fallen apart due to the total absence of gas-fuel , fall prey to an ominous group of barbaric cannibals who collect a victim a night for their feast , led by the sound of a horn . This all starts when three from the group find a fallen young woman , Neon ( Rachel Miner , of the previous year's " 8 films to die for " feature , PENNY DREADFUL ) who claims that the cannibals are called Rovers and slaughtered her whole family . Soon , the group fall one by one to these madmen , as their leader is the first to die , leaving them to fend for themselves with little hope of survival . Through this horrifying ordeal , one must strengthen the others as a leader or else they all perish . Actually , for a good portion of the film , it's quite intense and suspenseful because there seems like such little hope for these kids , without a head once he's removed ( . . the kind of leader who was quite smart with goal of starting over , competent in his abilities , whose weakness was trust which leaves him vulnerable ) against such amoral brutes with a nasty visage and even nastier weaponry . . they resemble extras from the second Mad Max film , THE ROAD WARRIOR . Vinnie Jones is a memorable heavy , with his evil smile , bulging eyes & whistling scythe as he spins it around ready for blood shed . Michael Madsen , who at first appears to be the leader of this group , has a minor role as the cannibal " Jackal " who whistles towards his quarry before using a two-sided ax to do his damage . Rider Strong ( . . who also appears in 2007's " 8 films to die for " entry BORDERLAND ) has a strong role as the aggressive Ford , the kind of character who thinks mostly of saving his own skin . He voices his opinion loudly often antagonizing instead of helping to solve their terrible situation . Michael Kelly ( . . as Viper , who leaves the group , tired of being bossed around by Carradine's professor . and is an awfully good shot with a crossbow ) , who many might know from the DAWN OF THE DEAD remake as the irritating mall security guard whose attitude towards the survivors was quite unkind , has a heroic role towards the end as the kind of tough character who everyone else quietly respected , despite his rather negative reactions to what the community was trying to accomplish . I'm not sure why Carradine ( . . who most identify from REVENGE OF THE NERDS ) isn't used in horror more . I think he's a welcome presence , and I sure hated seeing him exit this so early . The one thing this film direly needed was an adult presence . The film has some ferocious attacks on the kids , which are slickly handled using the darkness of night ( . . and a camera which moves the right way to avoid seeing the initial stabs into flesh ) , to avoid real graphic displays of carnage . I think the best thing going for the film is the cold , dank darkness of the hospital setting , even creepier at night . The post-apocalyptic premise is touched on here and there ( . . mostly through dialogue ) but the overall theme comes straight from HILLS HAVE EYES . But , I found the whole " wolf in sheep's clothing " twist absolutely ridiculous , and once we find out who is guiding this cannibal group , I couldn't take the film seriously anymore . And , Nicole DuPort's character Dakota , a soft-spoken , rather weak member of the group who was sleeping with the professor , putting her complete faith and life in his future plans , metamorphosing into a bloodthirsty savage with warrior paint , nearly had me laughing my ass off . And , to be honest , this whole method of executing the victims one at a time , using this specific time at night to hunt , had my eyes rolling . If you want to eat people , just f'n do it . |
436,666 | 9,938,570 | 85,918 | 4 | Mausoleum | I feel that even the supporters of Michael Dugan's " Mausoleum " would agree that this is purely an effects movie using the old possession theme as a method to do so . Bobbie Bresee's a troubled wife , Susan Farrell , whose businessman husband , Oliver ( Marjoe Gortner , who doesn't have a prayer , stuck with a dense dope of a husband whose wife is clearly in need of serious help and is always hesitant to do what's appropriate for her welfare and safety ) is always working , away trying to close money-making deals while she's left to contend with a demonic possession handed down to her cursed family . It seems that a demonic spirit calls young Susan ( . . visiting her mother's grave ) , who had lost her mother and is struggling to accept it , to a creepy mausoleum with a crypt in the center ( . . with crawling rats on top ) . The crypt contains the spirit and it is set free by Susan , the result being her possession . The film focuses on Susan , as an adult , slowly taken over by the spirit as it targets unfortunates who come near her during the day . Susan's psychiatrist , Dr . Simon Andrews ( Norman Burton ) , will witness the evil spirit after putting her under hypnosis , and reluctantly vow to put an end to it so that she can be saved . John Carl Buechler's monster designs are given the star treatment in this movie and some fare better than others . I think many of the latex make-up designs on Bresee range from effective to rather unconvincing . But , I cut him some slack since this was one of his first movies and he would improve soon after with his own directorial debut of Troll . There are some icky scenes such as Susan's poor Aunt Cora ( Laura Hippe ) , while levitated in the air , has her chest split apart where we see her rib . And another suffers a horrifying fate when his chest is torn open by little beasties protruding from Susan's chest when she's in demonic form . One victim , for no reason he deserves , is merely delivering a plant for the recently murdered gardener and is invited into Susan's house , her demonic spirit causing the side of his face to bleed and break open . Maurice Sherbanee is the grubby voyeuristic gardener , Ben , who suffers for his desire to get randy with the missus . One man is burned alive in his car ( . . which soon explodes ) just for causing Susan some annoyance at a bar ! The clincher is an employee at an art store on the second floor of a mall who informs Susan she could not purchase an already sold painting , getting levitated in the air and dropped to his death . A constant is Susan's eyes glowing green ( . . actually , I found this rather effective , even if primitive by today's standards ) before the evil spirit murders someone . Besting the mediocrity of most of John Carl Buechler's special effects are Bresee's exposed breasts ; she often invites males for potential pleasure by showing off her body in lingerie and sexy gowns . I think director Dugan was ambitious and attempts to sell his story of possession , but the budgetary constraints are simply too much to overcome . The levitations are particularly corny and will likely cause giggles . When you're creatures look like rubber designs , it's hard to find them scary . |
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