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4,227
Um, really @USER #irony #nothanks #UVA HTTPURL
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um really user irony nothanks uva httpurl
2,689
I love asking my boyfriend, the biology student, really complicated physics questions and seeings his brain melt
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i love asking my boyfriend the biology student really complicated physics questions and seeings his brain melt
1,786
Enjoy the bars and vineyards:victory_hand_light_skin_tone: Make sure to send postcards to the people dying in your local hospitals. I’m sure they’ll be glad you’re not bored anymore
1
If you’re going to bars and vineyards right now, just keep in mind the people who are dying in hospitals from COVID. Your entertainment is not worth their lives.
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enjoy the bars and vineyardsvictoryhandlightskintone make sure to send postcards to the people dying in your local hospitals . im sure theyll be glad youre not bored anymore
3,396
On my TL I see a Somerholic that unfollowed me tweeting retweet if you're a Somerholic to see how many are there.also i'm not allowed #Irony
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on my tl i see a somerholic that unfollowed me tweeting retweet if youre a somerholic to see how many are there . also im not allowed irony
4,246
Whoop diddy scoop poop
1
I would’ve just tweeted that I hated Kanye’s new song.
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whoop diddy scoop poop
2,661
@USER You are no fun at all!
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user you are no fun at all .
4,366
@USER @USER sounds like flat 8 are having a wonderful morn!|#HAH #NOT #WOTWOT
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user user sounds like flat 8 are having a wonderful morn . hah not wotwot
1,795
Double standards are always a fun thing #not
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double standards are always a fun thing not
3,231
I miss California. :broken_heart:
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i miss california . brokenheart
3,249
None of the big, disruptive innovations in our lives have come out of brainstorming. -Bruce Nussbaum HTTPURL
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none of the big disruptive innovations in our lives have come out of brainstorming . bruce nussbaum httpurl
80
@USER You know this is wrong don't you HTTPURL Please help us out here #EUVAT #irony
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user you know this is wrong dont you httpurl please help us out here euvat irony
1,833
Just won 3 cents on HQ words..early retirement here I come :smiling_face_with_heart-eyes:
1
I won 3 cents on HQ trivia, that is not enough to buy anything at all
1
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just won 3 cents on hq words . early retirement here i come smilingfacewithhearteyes
955
Did my cashier at Trader Joes really tell me he wishes that he could drink tea at night like me but if does he has to pee multiple times during the night?
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did my cashier at trader joes really tell me he wishes that he could drink tea at night like me but if does he has to pee multiple times during the night .
5,018
@USER @USER @USER You're arguments are obviously very impacted by the fact this family were TSI in appearance.
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user user user youre arguments are obviously very impacted by the fact this family were tsi in appearance .
287
Imma kill all you SOBs! Jk #lol #not #RedEye
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imma kill all you sobs . jk lol not redeye
3,306
nothing more I want/ever wanted in life than this move to London for a couple months to go ahead, finally being able to enjoy life a lil :crossed_fingers_light_skin_tone:
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nothing more i wantever wanted in life than this move to london for a couple months to go ahead finally being able to enjoy life a lil crossedfingerslightskintone
4,982
The Bruins announce that Chris Kelly has been named an Assistant Coach for the Boston Bruins; Adam McQuaid has been named Player Development Coordinator; and Ryan Mougenel has been named Head Coach of the Providence Bruins.
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the bruins announce that chris kelly has been named an assistant coach for the boston bruins adam mcquaid has been named player development coordinator and ryan mougenel has been named head coach of the providence bruins .
60
Oh goody. Another feckin' royal.
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oh goody . another feckin royal .
4,317
Lifes like a bird, its pretty cute until it craps on your head. #Gharwapsi #72HoursOfCrazy #PowerOfFive #lol #sarcasm #AntiConversionLaw
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lifes like a bird its pretty cute until it craps on your head . gharwapsi 72hoursofcrazy poweroffive lol sarcasm anticonversionlaw
1,796
Gah! Desperately trying to bust this cold!
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gah . desperately trying to bust this cold .
4,583
Is there even math cells? if there is they're not working ahh hahaha #mathisfun #not
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is there even math cells . if there is theyre not working ahh hahaha mathisfun not
4,727
Nothing like waking up to the sweet sounds of your cat trying to chew the shoelaces off your husband's new boots #sarcasm
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nothing like waking up to the sweet sounds of your cat trying to chew the shoelaces off your husbands new boots sarcasm
2,623
i was the type of kid who would just collect and sit on millions of coins or currency in video games because not having that stability made me incredibly anxious and my roommate said i should start seeing my therapist again
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i was the type of kid who would just collect and sit on millions of coins or currency in video games because not having that stability made me incredibly anxious and my roommate said i should start seeing my therapist again
1,880
And then there was none. Goodbye beard (of sorts) #MensFashion #not HTTPURL
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and then there was none . goodbye beard of sorts mensfashion not httpurl
4,747
@USER I have checked your website, where is this?! It looks like a ruse and this has made me sad as I *need* it for my new baby to match my #smokingcat top. :loudly_crying_face::loudly_crying_face: Please help! #coolestvestever HTTPURL
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user i have checked your website where is this . it looks like a ruse and this has made me sad as i need it for my new baby to match my smokingcat top . loudlycryingfaceloudlycryingface please help . coolestvestever httpurl
2,797
I’m thankful for nuggets but also my amazing friends & fam :red_heart::red_heart:
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im thankful for nuggets but also my amazing friends fam redheartredheart
4,922
My fingers smell like lavashak $smiley$
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my fingers smell like lavashak smiley
1,907
work should be fun today #NOT:unamused_face:
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work should be fun today notunamusedface
637
Idk how ppl discuss their mental health issues openly on the internet
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idk how ppl discuss their mental health issues openly on the internet
3,288
Who's the bastard that got my cat to develop the kink of liking his ass slapped? Lord knows it wasn't me and I'm scared.
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whos the bastard that got my cat to develop the kink of liking his ass slapped . lord knows it wasnt me and im scared .
977
Dear Dr. Diaz, gravity does not exist, Einstein got it wrong. I wrote a book explaining my theory, let me know if you want to read it #NOT
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dear dr . diaz gravity does not exist einstein got it wrong . i wrote a book explaining my theory let me know if you want to read it not
4,660
what if the next iteration of onlyfans was run by women? ceo: @USER investors: @USER @USER @USER @USER @USER @USER @USER software engineers (sry if incorrect terminology): @USER @USER marketing: @USER HTTPURL
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what if the next iteration of onlyfans was run by women . ceo user investors user user user user user user user software engineers sry if incorrect terminology user user marketing user httpurl
3,532
Last day in Naples with my Emma girl! :palm_tree::sun:#soeasytotakeapicwithatoddler #not #19wksandcounting.. HTTPURL
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last day in naples with my emma girl . palmtreesunsoeasytotakeapicwithatoddler not 19wksandcounting . httpurl
4,746
Yet despite this your fearless hero will nevertheless press on and watch the second film when he next gets the chance.
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yet despite this your fearless hero will nevertheless press on and watch the second film when he next gets the chance .
3,139
@USER @USER yeah I'm avoiding you by waking up at 6 AM my time so by 10 PM I'm exhausted. #sarcasm #sucksimissedyou $love$
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user user yeah im avoiding you by waking up at 6 am my time so by 10 pm im exhausted . sarcasm sucksimissedyou love
4,492
Gosh, writing research proposals are fun aren't they?
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gosh writing research proposals are fun arent they .
1,268
Haven't been on this twitter in forever!
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havent been on this twitter in forever .
2,122
Aaand..I left my work computer at home. Now I have to go get it. #BestDayEver #sarcasm
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aaand . i left my work computer at home . now i have to go get it . bestdayever sarcasm
3,561
@USER This is the sort of high-quality content that I followed you for. Keep up the good work!
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user this is the sort of highquality content that i followed you for . keep up the good work .
1,787
Blatantly obvious that Lionel Messi is now set for a move to Leeds. The Newell’s old boys network.
1
Clearly Messi won't be signing for Leeds United but it would be interesting for him to play for Bielsa.
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blatantly obvious that lionel messi is now set for a move to leeds . the newells old boys network .
4,020
Sweet United Nations video. Just in time for Christmas. #imagine #NoReligion #irony HTTPURL
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sweet united nations video . just in time for christmas . imagine noreligion irony httpurl
4,144
“I can’t believe the new Spider-Man trailer spoiled End Game! I really thought Marvel went to all that trouble to bring Spidey into the MCU to just kill him off after one movie!” HTTPURL
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i cant believe the new spiderman trailer spoiled end game . i really thought marvel went to all that trouble to bring spidey into the mcu to just kill him off after one movie . httpurl
2,732
@USER imagine your delivery being 2 hours late, and imagine calling up your service team only for them to hang up at 10pm, coincidentally the same time the office closes. But it’s okay, my £3 delivery fee is being refunded though :oncoming_fist_light_skin_tone:
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user imagine your delivery being 2 hours late and imagine calling up your service team only for them to hang up at 10pm coincidentally the same time the office closes . but its okay my 3 delivery fee is being refunded though oncomingfistlightskintone
689
Breaking news: @USER is going back to @USER Wow! Just Wow. What a signing. What a transfer window for United. What a home coming. Love it.
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breaking news user is going back to user wow . just wow . what a signing . what a transfer window for united . what a home coming . love it .
1,940
babe stop i’m about to gleek
1
this can go two ways. babe stop im about to cum OR babe babe stop im about to cry
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babe stop im about to gleek
241
HTTPURL Because, progress.. #AnEyeForAnEye , #PeshawarAttack #Taliban.. Surely this will bring peace and justice? #sarcasm
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httpurl because progress . aneyeforaneye peshawarattack taliban . surely this will bring peace and justice . sarcasm
4,415
@USER Does it imply you can get off facebook using crack or cocaine? #sarcasm.
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user does it imply you can get off facebook using crack or cocaine . sarcasm .
1,314
@USER try Naheed akhtar & nayyara noor too. gOLD stash.
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user try naheed akhtar nayyara noor too . gold stash .
838
happy one year vegetarian to me :red_heart::seedling:
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happy one year vegetarian to me redheartseedling
4,435
Soccer game should be fun today..:face_with_tears_of_joy::face_with_tears_of_joy: #not
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soccer game should be fun today . facewithtearsofjoyfacewithtearsofjoy not
2,045
I've compiled a list to debunk the gatekeeping morons saying #StarWars is too "male focussed". Leia Organa, Jyn Erso, Rey, Bastila and Satele Shan, Hera Syndulla, Padme, Iden Versio, Nightsister Merrin, Cere Junda, Asajj Ventress, Sabine Wren, Bo-Katan Kryze, Shaak Ti, (1/)
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ive compiled a list to debunk the gatekeeping morons saying starwars is too male focussed . leia organa jyn erso rey bastila and satele shan hera syndulla padme iden versio nightsister merrin cere junda asajj ventress sabine wren bokatan kryze shaak ti 1
522
Like Tyndall's system I just think Robert Hubbs should play more he gives us another scorer and a consistent 3pt shooter that our O needs
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like tyndalls system i just think robert hubbs should play more he gives us another scorer and a consistent 3pt shooter that our o needs
2,831
Oh crap, Mac shutdown corrupted iPhoto so hours of rebuild ahead, so might as well eat and drink! #FestiveFattyBumBum
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oh crap mac shutdown corrupted iphoto so hours of rebuild ahead so might as well eat and drink . festivefattybumbum
4,115
#FederervsDjokovic intense! What a match!
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federervsdjokovic intense . what a match .
2,481
Hello @USER I just had my food shopping delivered by a man called Gary and honestly he was one of the nicest drivers I have ever had. He was attentive, talkative and was interested in how our days had been. Please can you let his managers know. Asset to the company.
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hello user i just had my food shopping delivered by a man called gary and honestly he was one of the nicest drivers i have ever had . he was attentive talkative and was interested in how our days had been . please can you let his managers know . asset to the company .
293
Happy Birthday to Chris Lowe of Pet Shop Boys. Your music is the backbone of my existence. #chrislowe #happybirthdaychrislowe #petshopboys HTTPURL
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happy birthday to chris lowe of pet shop boys . your music is the backbone of my existence . chrislowe happybirthdaychrislowe petshopboys httpurl
3,393
When parents ask about your mental health during parent-teacher conferences :smiling_face_with_hearts: (and you don’t tell the truth because, like, gestures broadly. But still!)
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when parents ask about your mental health during parentteacher conferences smilingfacewithhearts and you dont tell the truth because like gestures broadly . but still .
2,738
Thank God that the wait for an appointment is only until February. #sarcasm
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thank god that the wait for an appointment is only until february . sarcasm
4,828
@USER One day I want to travel with my bestfriend :globe_showing_Asia-Australia::airplane: HTTPURL DONE DID TRAVELED DA WORLD!! @USER :red_heart:
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user one day i want to travel with my bestfriend globeshowingasiaaustraliaairplane httpurl done did traveled da world . user redheart
5,107
why is there a hotdog on|HTTPURL
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why is there a hotdog onhttpurl
4,254
Nicholas Sparks has been manipulating women to believe that guys (in reality) are as sensitive as the male characters in his books. #NOT
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nicholas sparks has been manipulating women to believe that guys in reality are as sensitive as the male characters in his books . not
2,965
Yeah, the prom is the most important event in your life #irony
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yeah the prom is the most important event in your life irony
2,246
did SM change the DCM thumbnail??
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did sm change the dcm thumbnail .
1,447
Always fun when buses don't turn up! It's my favorite waiting outside in the freezing cold for them for like half an hour :smirking_face: #Sarcasm
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always fun when buses dont turn up . its my favorite waiting outside in the freezing cold for them for like half an hour smirkingface sarcasm
48
I have a love hate relationship with the night shift.
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i have a love hate relationship with the night shift .
5,114
@USER how many championships? You trying to say that makes him worth more than Saban?
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user how many championships . you trying to say that makes him worth more than saban .
839
Don't think it's possible to fully understand poetry without experiencing a New York winter.
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dont think its possible to fully understand poetry without experiencing a new york winter .
1,860
And if you’re not going to vaccinate yourself, stay home, wear a mask when you go out, etc. Know that not being vaccinated means you have a moral responsibility to do your best to not spread this disease.
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and if youre not going to vaccinate yourself stay home wear a mask when you go out etc . know that not being vaccinated means you have a moral responsibility to do your best to not spread this disease .
1,577
For the first time today I've been dancing around to Xmas songs whilst tidying. Hahaha definitely in the Christmas spirit. There are some wonderful people out there. :red_heart::Christmas_tree::red_heart: Hope everyone has a lovely Christmas :kiss_mark:
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for the first time today ive been dancing around to xmas songs whilst tidying . hahaha definitely in the christmas spirit . there are some wonderful people out there . redheartchristmastreeredheart hope everyone has a lovely christmas kissmark
3,614
I hate plane rides but I wanna go to so many different countries #irony
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i hate plane rides but i wanna go to so many different countries irony
4,597
today im grateful for: •old friends + their moms •kittens •shakira
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today im grateful for old friends their moms kittens shakira
4,687
just impulse bought a mandolin and in 3-5 buisness days i will impulse learn some jigs
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just impulse bought a mandolin and in 35 buisness days i will impulse learn some jigs
1,491
Balak to Balaam: "Come now, curse this people for me..for I know that he whom you bless is blessed, and he whom you curse is cursed." #irony
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balak to balaam come now curse this people for me . for i know that he whom you bless is blessed and he whom you curse is cursed . irony
2,895
When your #sarcasm is so advanced people actually think you are #stupid.. HTTPURL HTTPURL
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when your sarcasm is so advanced people actually think you are stupid . httpurl httpurl
4,739
@USER @USER @USER Why type of lube did you order? I may have extra in my detached garage
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user user user why type of lube did you order . i may have extra in my detached garage
170
@USER yes mother as you wish#not
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user yes mother as you wishnot
5,100
Look!: #Poulan #Chainsaw #New HTTPURL #shopping #chain #not #saws #start #starting #will #wont
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look . poulan chainsaw new httpurl shopping chain not saws start starting will wont
2,296
Having to be up in four hours sounds great #NOT
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having to be up in four hours sounds great not
2,990
If BJPee hv balls ,do dare to lift ristrictions 2mro ahead of Modi's #Kashmir visit,Kashmiris wl show u how much thy love #Modi.|#sarcasm
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if bjpee hv balls do dare to lift ristrictions 2mro ahead of modis kashmir visitkashmiris wl show u how much thy love modi . sarcasm
3,340
SUNS TO THE FINALS LET'S GO #RallyTheValley
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suns to the finals lets go rallythevalley
2,500
Just update: Vueling has now changed the time of the flight 5 times in the last 12 hours. Reassuring.
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just update vueling has now changed the time of the flight 5 times in the last 12 hours . reassuring .
1,286
Anyone calling vaccine passports unworkable needs to explain how it's different to requiring ID to enter a nightclub.
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anyone calling vaccine passports unworkable needs to explain how its different to requiring id to enter a nightclub .
4,209
can’t believe I’m weighing up spending £12.50 on a hotel chocolate advent calendar for myself .. but the heart wants what it wants :confused_face:
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cant believe im weighing up spending 12 . 50 on a hotel chocolate advent calendar for myself . but the heart wants what it wants confusedface
4,151
@USER @USER @USER shit healer
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user user user shit healer
1,399
@USER @USER Why do so many educationally subnormal Trump supporters really think Alaska is not part of the US?
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user user why do so many educationally subnormal trump supporters really think alaska is not part of the us .
4,841
Lights went off at my school so now we trying to learn with one emergency light on in the classroom how great! #Not
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lights went off at my school so now we trying to learn with one emergency light on in the classroom how great . not
3,153
@USER @USER @USER because as long as she's a victim she'll have white knights trying to save that damsel in distress. #irony
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user user user because as long as shes a victim shell have white knights trying to save that damsel in distress . irony
3,833
#Irony, on the Same day, the 50th anniversary of the #FreeSpeechMovement, a brave critic, was abandoned by our conformist #Press.
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irony on the same day the 50th anniversary of the freespeechmovement a brave critic was abandoned by our conformist press .
3,610
was not back in the states for even 5 minutes before someone ran into me at the airport with their suitcase and said “ope, sorry!” I’m home $smiley$
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was not back in the states for even 5 minutes before someone ran into me at the airport with their suitcase and said ope sorry . im home smiley
5,002
The worst is when they consider things like "conservative tribune" as a credible source of information. Totally not bias. #sarcasm
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the worst is when they consider things like conservative tribune as a credible source of information . totally not bias . sarcasm
850
Breaking news! #not RT @USER Mario Balotelli isn't a team player, according to Adel Taarabt HTTPURL
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breaking news . not rt user mario balotelli isnt a team player according to adel taarabt httpurl
4,753
Got complimented on my skills in da kitchen today by both my managers and the head chef lfg :smiling_face_with_sunglasses:
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got complimented on my skills in da kitchen today by both my managers and the head chef lfg smilingfacewithsunglasses
2,922
Well throwing up at 6:00 am is always fun :smiling_face:| #not
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well throwing up at 600 am is always fun smilingface not
2,309
Its a marshmallow world in the winter :musical_notes: #getthisoutofmyhead
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its a marshmallow world in the winter musicalnotes getthisoutofmyhead
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@USER Excited for season two $smiley$
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user excited for season two smiley
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because learning for the finals is fucking amazing. #not
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because learning for the finals is fucking amazing . not
2,830
@USER Prepare to get mucked #not #imissedu
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user prepare to get mucked not imissedu
2,347
#finalsweekgotmelike Ugh. Make it stop. #finals #finalsweek #EWU HTTPURL
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finalsweekgotmelike ugh . make it stop . finals finalsweek ewu httpurl
2,798
#SocialMedia Where it's perfectly normal to talk to people in pictures ! #Sarcasm
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socialmedia where its perfectly normal to talk to people in pictures . sarcasm
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Today the wonderful cashier lady at white creek told me that people either need to 1. Get laid Or 2. Get a life
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today the wonderful cashier lady at white creek told me that people either need to 1 . get laid or 2 . get a life