id stringlengths 14 14 | page_content stringlengths 28 1.35k | source stringclasses 1
value |
|---|---|---|
b15151598aca-1 | down: outbursts of rage typically pump up the emotional brain’s
arousal, leaving
people feeling more angry, not less. Tice found that
when people told of times they had taken their rage out on the person
who provoked it, the net effect was to prolong the mood rather than
end it. Far more effective was when people firs... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
b15151598aca-2 | The above specimen is offered by Lizabeth Roemer and Thomas
Borkovec, Pennsylvania State University psychologists, whose | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
6afd2ceeeb76-0 | research on worrying—the heart of all anxiety—has raised the topic
from neurotic’s art to science.
10
There is, of course, no hitch when
worry works; by mulling over a problem—that is, employing
constructive reflection, which can look like worrying—a solution can
appear. Indeed, the reaction that underlies worry is th... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
6afd2ceeeb76-1 | impervious to reason, and lock the worrier into a single, inflexible
view of the worrisome topic. When this same cycle of worry
intensifies and persists, it shades over the line into full-blown
neural
hijackings, the anxiety disorders: phobias, obsessions and
compulsions, panic attacks. In each of these disorders worr... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
6afd2ceeeb76-2 | germs; she worried constantly that without her washing and
sterilizing she would catch a disease and die.
11
A woman being treated for “generalized anxiety disorder”—the
psychiatric nomenclature for being a constant worrier—responded to
the request to worry aloud for one minute this way: | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
944f1570593d-0 | I might not do this right. This may be so artificial that it won’t be an indication of the
real thing and we need to get at the real thing.… Because if we don’t get at the real
thing, I won’t get well. And if I don’t get well I’ll never be happy.
12
In this virtuoso display of worrying about worrying, the very
request ... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
944f1570593d-1 | trouble with insomniacs, Borkovec found, was not the somatic
arousal. What kept them up were intrusive thoughts. They were
chronic worriers, and could not stop worrying, no matter how sleepy
they were. The one thing that worked in helping them
get to sleep
was getting their minds off their worries, focusing instead on... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
944f1570593d-2 | potential problems, worriers typically simply ruminate on the danger
itself, immersing themselves in a low-key way in the dread associated
with it while staying in the same rut of thought. Chronic worriers
worry about a wide range of things, most of which have almost no
chance of happening; they read dangers into life’... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
88cae3c3a453-0 | that their worries are self-perpetuating, an endless loop of angst-
ridden thought. Why should worry become what seems to amount to a
mental addiction? Oddly, as Borkovec points out, the worry habit is
reinforcing in the same sense that superstitions are. Since people
worry about many things that have a very low probab... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
88cae3c3a453-1 | signaled a brain tumor, picturing herself in an accident whenever she had to drive
somewhere. She often found herself lost in a long reverie of worry, a medley of
distress. But, she said, she found her worries almost addictive.
Borkovec discovered another unexpected benefit to worrying. While
people are immersed in the... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
88cae3c3a453-2 | thoughts, so immersion in thoughts, to the exclusion of catastrophic
images, partially alleviates the experience of being anxious. And, to
that extent, the worry is also reinforced, as a halfway antidote to the | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
51f739a94c82-0 | very anxiety it evoked.
But chronic worries are self-defeating too in that they take the form
of stereotyped, rigid ideas, not creative breakthroughs that actually
move toward solving the problem. This rigidity shows up not just in
the manifest content of worried thought, which simply repeats more
or less the same idea... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
51f739a94c82-1 | The first step is self-awareness, catching the worrisome episodes as
near their beginning as possible—ideally, as soon as or just after the
fleeting catastrophic image triggers the worry-anxiety cycle. Borkovec
trains people in this approach by first teaching them to monitor cues
for anxiety, especially learning to ide... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
51f739a94c82-2 | to be taken? Does it really help to run through these same anxious
thoughts over and over?
This combination of mindfulness and healthy skepticism would,
presumably, act as a brake on the neural activation that underlies
low-grade anxiety. Actively generating such thoughts may prime the | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
494dd4ef0119-0 | circuitry that can inhibit the limbic driving of worry; at the same
time, actively inducing a relaxed state counters the signals for anxiety
the emotional brain is sending throughout the body.
Indeed, Borkovec points out, these strategies establish a train of
mental activity that is incompatible with worry. When a worr... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
494dd4ef0119-1 | comes to trying to escape the blues. Of course, not all sadness should
be escaped; melancholy, like every other mood, has its benefits. The
sadness that a loss brings has certain invariable effects: it closes down
our interest in diversions and pleasures, fixes attention on what has
been lost, and saps our energy for s... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
ce0bbdbbd43f-0 | distortions,” and “a sense that my thought processes were engulfed by
a toxic and unnameable tide that obliterated any enjoyable response
to the living world.” There are the physical effects: sleeplessness,
feeling as listless as a zombie, “a kind of numbness, an enervation, but
more particularly an odd fragility,” alo... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
ce0bbdbbd43f-1 | compounds offering some help, especially for major depression.
My focus here is the far more common sadness that at its upper
limits becomes, technically speaking, a “subclinical depression”—that
is, ordinary melancholy. This is a range of despondency that people
can handle on their own, if they have the internal resou... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
ce0bbdbbd43f-2 | more intense and prolonged. In depression, worry takes several forms,
all focusing on some aspect of the depression itself—how tired we
feel, how little energy or motivation we have, for instance, or how
little work we’re getting done. Typically none of this reflection is | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
c06211cfc540-0 | accompanied by any concrete course of action that might alleviate the
problem. Other common worries include “isolating yourself and
thinking about how terrible you feel, worrying that your spouse might
reject you because you are depressed, and wondering whether you are
going to have another sleepless night,” says Stanf... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
c06211cfc540-1 | feeds her depression. But if she reacted to depression by trying to
distract herself, she might well plunge into the sales calls as a way to
get her mind off the sadness. Sales would be less likely to decline, and
the very experience of making a sale might bolster her self-confidence,
lessening the depression somewhat.... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
c06211cfc540-2 | 16
One is to learn to challenge the thoughts at the center of
rumination—to question their validity and think of more positive
alternatives. The other is to purposely schedule pleasant, distracting
events. | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
f33c7d563178-0 | One reason distraction works is that depressing thoughts are
automatic, intruding on one’s state of mind unbidden. Even when
depressed people try to suppress their depressing thoughts, they often
cannot come up with better alternatives; once the depressive tide of
thought has started, it has a powerful magnetic effect ... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
f33c7d563178-1 | Mood-lifters
Imagine that you’re driving on an unfamiliar, steep, and winding road through fog.
Suddenly a car pulls out of a driveway only a few feet in front of you, too close for you
to stop in time. Your foot slams the brake to the floor and you go into a skid, your car
sliding into the side of the other one. You s... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
f33c7d563178-2 | actually showed a pronounced
increase
in intruding thoughts of the | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
bd0a612b327d-0 | scene as time passed, and even made oblique references to it in the
thoughts that were supposed to be distractions from it.
What’s more, the depression-prone volunteers used other distressing
thoughts to distract themselves. As Wenzlaff told me, “Thoughts are
associated in the mind not just by content, but by mood. Peo... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
bd0a612b327d-1 | the leading theories of why electroconvulsive therapy is effective for
the most severe depressions is that it causes a loss of short-term
memory—patients feel better because they can’t remember why they
were so sad. At any rate, to shake garden-variety sadness, Diane Tice
found, many people reported turning to distract... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
bd0a612b327d-2 | for habitual exercisers there is a reverse effect on mood: they start to
feel bad on those days when they skip their workout. Exercise seems
to work well because it changes the physiological
state the mood
evokes: depression is a low-arousal state, and aerobics pitches the | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
4cd9de088c8d-0 | body into high arousal. By the same token, relaxation techniques,
which put the body into a low-arousal state, work well for anxiety, a
high-arousal state, but not so well for depression. Each of these
approaches seems to work to break the cycle of depression or anxiety
because it pitches the brain into a level of acti... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
4cd9de088c8d-1 | eating to excess brings regret; alcohol is a central nervous system
depressant, and so only adds to the effects of depression itself.
A more constructive approach to mood-lifting, Tice reports, is
engineering a small triumph or easy success: tackling some long-
delayed chore around the house or getting to some other du... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
4cd9de088c8d-2 | bring to mind another patient who was in even worse shape (“I’m not
so bad off—at least I can walk”); those who compared themselves to
healthy people were the most depressed.
18
Such downward
comparisons are surprisingly cheering: suddenly what had seemed
quite dispiriting doesn’t look all that bad. | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
fafcb0519fd0-0 | Another effective depression-lifter is helping others in need. Since
depression
feeds on ruminations and preoccupations with the self,
helping others lifts us out of those preoccupations as we empathize
with people in pain of their own. Throwing oneself into volunteer
work—coaching Little League, being a Big Brother, ... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
fafcb0519fd0-1 | as part of a sentence-completion test. Other tests showed that this
small act of mental avoidance was part of a larger pattern in his life, a
pattern of tuning out most emotional upset.
19
While at first
researchers saw repressors as a prime example of the inability to feel
emotion—cousins of alexithymics, perhaps—cur... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
5dd1e314cb7e-0 | with the sentence about the violent roommate and others like it, they
gave all the signs of anxiety, such as a racing heart, sweating, and
climbing blood pressure. Yet when asked, they said they felt perfectly
calm.
This continual tuning-out of emotions such as anger and anxiety is
not
uncommon: about one person in si... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
5dd1e314cb7e-1 | distressing emotions, or are they simply feigning calm? The answer to
that has come from clever research by Richard Davidson, a University
of Wisconsin psychologist and an early collaborator with Weinberger.
Davidson had people with the unflappable pattern free-associate to a
list of words, most neutral, but several wi... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
5dd1e314cb7e-2 | the neural wiring of the visual system, if the display was to the left
half of the visual field, it was recognized first by the right half of the
brain, with its sensitivity to distress. If the display was to the right
half of the visual field, the signal went to the left side of the brain | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
11cff8a13d3e-0 | without being assessed for upset.
When the words were presented to the right hemisphere, there was
a lag in the time it took the unflappables to utter a response—but only
if the word they were responding to was one of the upsetting ones.
They had
no
time lag in the speed of their associations to
neutral
words. The l... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
11cff8a13d3e-1 | and show a pattern of left frontal activation while just sitting at rest
that is associated with positive feelings. This brain activity may be the
key to their positive claims, despite the underlying physiological
arousal that looks like distress.” Davidson’s theory is that, in terms of
brain activity, it is energy-dem... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
3ae124ef119c-0 | 6
The Master Aptitude
Just once in my life have I been paralyzed by fear. The occasion was a calculus exam
during my freshman year in college for which I somehow had managed not to study. I
still remember the room I marched to that spring morning with feelings of doom and
foreboding heavy in my heart. I had been in tha... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
3ae124ef119c-1 | attempt to patch together some semblance of answers to the test. I did not daydream. I
simply sat fixated on my terror, waiting for the ordeal to finish.
1
That narrative of an ordeal by terror is my own; it is to this day for
me the most convincing evidence of the devastating impact of
emotional distress on mental cla... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
f727ceb6a71a-0 | on the comparatively trivial routines of the work or school day; for
the clinically depressed, thoughts of self-pity and despair,
hopelessness and helplessness, override all others.
When emotions overwhelm concentration, what is being swamped
is the mental capacity cognitive scientists call “working memory,” the
abilit... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
f727ceb6a71a-1 | achievement. Studies of Olympic athletes, world-class musicians, and
chess grand masters find their unifying trait is the ability to motivate
themselves to pursue relentless training routines.
4
And, with a steady
rise in the degree of excellence required to be a world-class performer,
these rigorous training routines... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
f727ceb6a71a-2 | beginning early in life, they can pursue an arduous practice routine
for years and years. And that doggedness depends on emotional traits | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
fec281383221-0 | —enthusiasm and persistence in the face of setbacks—above all else.
The added payoff for life success from motivation, apart from other
innate abilities, can be seen in the remarkable performance of Asian
students in American schools and professions. One thorough review of
the evidence suggests that Asian-American chil... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
fec281383221-1 | believe that anyone can do well in school with the right effort.” In
short, a strong cultural work ethic translates into higher motivation,
zeal, and persistence—an emotional edge.
To the degree that our emotions get in the way of or enhance our
ability to think and plan, to pursue training for a distant goal, to solve... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
fec281383221-2 | between impulse and restraint, id and ego, desire and self-control, | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
dcfc71ff2bfe-0 | gratification and delay. Which of these choices a child makes is a
telling test; it offers a quick reading not just of character, but of the
trajectory that child will probably take through life.
There is perhaps no psychological skill more fundamental than
resisting impulse. It is the root of all emotional self-contro... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
dcfc71ff2bfe-1 | seemed an endless fifteen to twenty minutes for the experimenter to
return. To sustain themselves in their struggle they covered their eyes
so they wouldn’t have to stare at temptation, or rested their heads in
their arms, talked to themselves, sang, played games with their hands
and feet, even tried to go to sleep. Th... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
dcfc71ff2bfe-2 | pressured; they embraced challenges and pursued them instead of
giving up even in the face of difficulties; they were self-reliant and
confident, trustworthy and dependable; and they took initiative and
plunged
into projects. And, more than a decade later, they were still | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
fff1c720d620-0 | able to delay gratification in pursuit of their goals.
The third or so who grabbed for the marshmallow, however, tended
to have fewer of these qualities, and shared instead a relatively more
troubled psychological portrait. In adolescence they were more likely
to be seen as shying away from social contacts; to be stubb... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
fff1c720d620-1 | attention from focusing on the temptation at hand, and to distract
themselves while maintaining the necessary perseverance toward their
goal—the two marshmallows.
Even more surprising, when the tested children were evaluated
again as they were finishing high school, those who had waited
patiently at four were far super... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
fff1c720d620-2 | children learn to read.
9
This suggests that the ability to delay
gratification contributes powerfully to intellectual potential quite
apart from IQ itself. (Poor impulse control in childhood is also a
powerful predictor of later delinquency, again more so than IQ.
10
) As
we shall see in Part Five, while some argue t... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
e02778da031b-0 | and so represents an unbendable limitation on a child’s life potential,
there is ample evidence that emotional skills such as impulse control
and accurately reading a social situation
can
be learned.
What Walter Mischel, who did the study, describes with the rather
infelicitous phrase “goal-directed self-imposed dela... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
e02778da031b-1 | 11
But when it
comes time to make a simple decision, such as whether to watch her
son play football, her mind floods with thoughts of disaster. She is not
free to choose; her worries overwhelm her reason.
As we have seen, worry is the nub of anxiety’s damaging effect on
mental performance of all kind. Worry, of course... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
6f1530d9ee4e-0 | their
academic performance, no matter how measured—grades on
tests, grade-point average, or achievement tests.
13
When people who are prone to worry are asked to perform a
cognitive task such as sorting ambiguous objects into one of two
categories, and narrate what is going through their mind as they do
so, it is the ... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
6f1530d9ee4e-1 | whose anxiety undoes their academic performance, and those who are
able to do well despite the stress—or, perhaps, because of it.
16
The
irony of test anxiety is that the very apprehension about doing well on
the test that, ideally, can motivate students like Haber to study hard
in preparation and so do well can sabot... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
6f1530d9ee4e-2 | hand, can use anticipatory anxiety—about an upcoming speech or
test, say—to motivate themselves to prepare well for it, thereby doing
well. The classical literature in psychology describes the relationship | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
dd3429bed375-0 | between anxiety and performance, including mental performance, in
terms of an upside-down U. At the peak of the inverted U is the
optimal relationship between anxiety and
performance, with a
modicum of nerves propelling outstanding achievement. But too little
anxiety—the first side of the U—brings about apathy or too ... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
dd3429bed375-1 | problems, whether intellectual or interpersonal. This suggests that one
way to help someone think through a problem is to tell them a joke.
Laughing, like elation, seems to help people think more broadly and
associate more freely, noticing relationships that might have eluded
them otherwise—a mental skill important not... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
dd3429bed375-2 | for the box holding the tacks, and so come up with the creative
solution: tack the box to the wall and use it as a candleholder.
Even mild mood changes can sway thinking. In making plans or
decisions people in good moods have a perceptual bias that leads
them to be more expansive and positive in their thinking. This is | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
561119b6589e-0 | partly because memory is state-specific, so that while in a good mood
we remember more positive events; as we think over the pros and
cons of a course of action while feeling pleasant, memory biases our
weighing of evidence in a positive direction, making us more likely to
do something slightly adventurous or risky, fo... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
561119b6589e-1 | learned about the D grade. What do you do?
19
Hope made all the difference. The response by students with high
levels of hope was to work harder and think of a range of things they
might try that could bolster their final grade. Students with moderate
levels of hope thought of several ways they might up their grade, bu... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
f9476a571508-0 | compare students of equivalent intellectual aptitude on their academic
achievements, what sets them apart is hope.”
20
As the familiar legend has it, Pandora, a princess of ancient Greece,
was given a gift, a mysterious box, by gods jealous of her beauty. She
was told she must never open the gift. But one day, overcome... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
f9476a571508-1 | in this sense. Some typically think of themselves as able to get out of a
jam or find ways to solve problems, while others simply do not see
themselves as having the energy, ability, or means to accomplish their
goals. People with high levels of hope, Snyder finds, share certain
traits, among them being able to motivat... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
f9476a571508-2 | touting Biondi as likely to match Mark Spitz’s 1972 feat of taking | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
c61397bd995d-0 | seven gold medals. But Biondi finished a heartbreaking third in his
first event, the 200-meter freestyle. In his next event, the 100-meter
butterfly, Biondi was inched out for the gold by another swimmer
who made a greater effort in the last meter.
Sportscasters speculated that the defeats would dispirit Biondi in his
... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
c61397bd995d-1 | general, things will turn out all right in life, despite setbacks and
frustrations. From the standpoint of emotional intelligence, optimism
is an attitude that buffers people against falling into apathy,
hopelessness, or depression in the face of tough going. And, as with
hope, its near cousin, optimism pays dividends ... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
c61397bd995d-2 | assuming there is nothing they can do to make things go better the
next time, and so do nothing about the problem; they see the setback
as due to some personal deficit that will always plague them.
As with hope, optimism predicts academic success. In a study of five | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
949655d7decf-0 | hundred members of the incoming freshman class of 1984 at the
University of Pennsylvania, the students’ scores on a test of optimism
were a better predictor of their actual grades freshman year than were
their SAT scores or their high-school grades. Said Seligman, who
studied them, “College entrance exams measure talen... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
949655d7decf-1 | first three years. Seligman found that new salesmen who were by
nature optimists sold 37 percent more insurance in their first two
years on the job than did pessimists. And during the first year the
pessimists quit at twice the rate of the optimists.
What’s more, Seligman persuaded MetLife to hire a special group of
ap... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
949655d7decf-2 | interpretation that is sure to trigger apathy and defeatism, if not
depression. Optimists, on the other hand, tell themselves, “I’m using
the wrong approach,” or “That last person was just in a bad mood.”
By seeing not themselves but something in the situation as the reason | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
755622f4ca6b-0 | for their failure, they can change their approach in the next call.
While the pessimist’s mental set leads to despair, the optimist’s
spawns hope.
One source of a positive or negative outlook may well be inborn
temperament; some people by nature tend one way or the other. But
as we shall also see in
Chapter 14
, tempe... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
755622f4ca6b-1 | property; there is a huge variability in how you perform. People who
have a sense of self-efficacy bounce back from failures; they approach
things in terms of how to handle them rather than worrying about
what can go wrong.”
24
FLOW: THE NEUROBIOLOGY OF EXCELLENCE
A composer describes those moments when his work is at ... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
80d52ee082b9-0 | peak performance during two decades of research.
26
Athletes know
this state of grace as “the zone,” where excellence becomes effortless,
crowd and competitors disappearing into a blissful, steady absorption
in the moment. Diane Roffe-Steinrotter, who captured a gold medal in
skiing at the 1994 Winter Olympics, said a... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
80d52ee082b9-1 | of spontaneous joy, even rapture. Because flow feels so good, it is
intrinsically rewarding. It is a state in which people become utterly
absorbed in what they are doing, paying undivided attention to the
task, their awareness merged with their actions. Indeed, it interrupts
flow to reflect too much on what is happenin... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
80d52ee082b9-2 | consciousness, dropping the small preoccupations—health, bills, even
doing well—of daily life. In this sense moments of flow are egoless.
Paradoxically, people in flow exhibit a masterly control of what they
are doing, their responses perfectly attuned to the changing demands
of the task. And although people perform at... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
c161faa7c60e-0 | success or failure—the sheer pleasure of the act itself is what
motivates them.
There are several ways to enter flow. One is to intentionally focus a
sharp attention on the task at hand; a highly concentrated state is the
essence of flow. There seems to be a feedback loop at the gateway to
this zone: it can require con... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
c161faa7c60e-1 | flow are incompatible with emotional hijackings, in which limbic
surges capture the rest of the brain. The quality of attention in flow is
relaxed yet highly focused. It is a concentration very different from
straining to pay attention when we are tired or bored, or when our
focus is under siege from intrusive feelings... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
c161faa7c60e-2 | capture and hold their attention, their brain “quiets down” in the
sense that there is a lessening of cortical arousal.
29
That discovery is
remarkable, given that flow allows people to tackle the most
challenging tasks in a given domain, whether playing against a chess
master or solving a complex mathematical problem... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
9295073f0fdd-0 | would be that such challenging tasks would require
more
cortical
activity, not less. But a key to flow is that it occurs only within reach
of the summit of ability, where skills are well-rehearsed and neural
circuits are most efficient.
A strained concentration—a focus fueled by worry—produces
increased cortical acti... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
9295073f0fdd-1 | 30
The same
happens in boredom. But when the brain is operating at peak
efficiency, as in flow, there is a precise relation between the active
areas and the demands of the task. In this state even hard work can
seem refreshing or replenishing rather than draining.
LEARNING AND FLOW: A NEW MODEL FOR EDUCATION
Because f... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
9295073f0fdd-2 | fame and wealth for the most part drifted away from art after
graduating. | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
72690ac6a191-0 | Csikszentmihalyi concludes: “Painters must want to paint above all
else. If the artist in front of the canvas begins to wonder how much he
will sell it for, or what the critics will think of it, he won’t be able to
pursue original avenues. Creative achievements depend on single-
minded immersion.”
31
Just as flow is a ... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
72690ac6a191-1 | spent most of the hours during which they were not studying in
socializing, hanging out with friends and family.
When their moods were analyzed, a telling finding emerged. Both
the high
and low achievers spent a great deal of time during the week
being bored by activities, such as TV watching, that posed no
challenge ... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
72690ac6a191-2 | will be enjoyable to them in the future.
32
Howard Gardner, the Harvard psychologist who developed the
theory of multiple intelligences, sees flow, and the positive states that
typify it, as part of the healthiest way to teach children, motivating
them from inside rather than by threat or promise of reward. “We
should ... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
522a56cf071c-0 | domains where they can develop competencies,” Gardner proposed to
me. “Flow is an internal state that signifies a kid is engaged in a task
that’s right. You have to find something you like and stick to it. It’s
when kids get bored in school that they fight and act up, and when
they’re overwhelmed by a challenge that th... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
522a56cf071c-1 | be emboldened to take on challenges in new areas,” says Gardner,
adding that experience suggests this is the case.
More generally, the flow model suggests that achieving mastery of
any skill or body of knowledge should ideally happen naturally, as the
child is drawn to the areas that spontaneously engage her—that, in
e... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
522a56cf071c-2 | in controlling impulse and putting off gratification, regulating our
moods so they facilitate rather than impede thinking, motivating
ourselves to persist and try, try again in the face of setbacks, or
finding ways to enter flow and so perform more effectively—all | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
887f278e27a1-0 | bespeak the power of emotion to guide effective effort. | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
b4914ad3a88f-0 | 7
The Roots of Empathy
Back to Gary, the brilliant but alexithymic surgeon who so distressed
his fiancée, Ellen, by being oblivious not only to his own feelings but
to hers as well. Like most alexithymics, he lacked empathy as well as
insight. If Ellen spoke of feeling down, Gary failed to sympathize; if
she spoke of l... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
b4914ad3a88f-1 | bewildered when other people express their feelings to them. This
failure to register another’s feelings is a major deficit in emotional
intelligence, and a tragic failing in what it means to be human. For all
rapport, the root of caring, stems from emotional attunement, from
the capacity for empathy.
That capacity—the... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
c4dc68309fc1-0 | devised a test of empathy, the PONS (Profile of Nonverbal Sensitivity),
a series of videotapes of a young woman expressing feelings ranging
from loathing to motherly love.
2
The scenes span the spectrum from a
jealous rage to asking forgiveness, from a show of gratitude to a
seduction. The video has been edited so tha... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
c4dc68309fc1-1 | Empathy, it should be no surprise to learn, helps with romantic life.
In keeping with findings about other elements of emotional
intelligence, there was only an incidental relationship between scores
on this measure of empathic acuity and SAT or IQ scores or school
achievement tests. Empathy’s independence from academi... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
c4dc68309fc1-2 | he says. One rule of thumb used in communications research
is that 90 percent or more of an emotional message is nonverbal. And
such messages—anxiety in someone’s tone of voice, irritation in the | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
6e74f3f0509a-0 | quickness of a gesture—are almost always taken in
unconsciously,
without paying specific attention to the nature of the message, but
simply tacitly receiving it and responding. The skills that allow us to
do this well or poorly are also, for the most part, learned tacitly.
HOW EMPATHY UNFOLDS
The moment Hope, just nin... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
6e74f3f0509a-1 | apart from other people. Even a few months after birth, infants react
to a disturbance in those around them as though it were their own,
crying when they see another child’s tears. By one year or so, they
start to realize the misery is not their own but someone else’s, though
they still seem confused over what to do ab... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
6e74f3f0509a-2 | an American psychologist. This sense is slightly different from its
original introduction into English from the Greek
empatheia
, “feeling
into,” a term used initially by theoreticians of aesthetics for the ability
to perceive the subjective experience of another person. Titchener’s | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
686423caa45b-0 | theory was that empathy stemmed from a sort of physical imitation of
the distress of another, which then evokes the same feelings in
oneself. He sought a word that would be distinct from
sympathy
,
which can be felt for the general plight of another with no sharing
whatever of what that other person is feeling.
Motor ... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
686423caa45b-1 | the National Institute of Mental Health showed that a large part of
this difference in empathic concern had to do with how parents
disciplined their children. Children, they found, were more empathic
when the discipline included calling strong attention to the distress
their misbehavior caused someone else: “Look how s... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
a68fb0c99f47-0 | away, Fred would look back at her, and the cycle of pursuit and
aversion would begin again—often leaving Fred in tears. But with
Mark, Sarah virtually never tried to impose eye contact as she did
with Fred. Instead Mark could break off eye contact whenever he
wanted, and she would not pursue.
A small act, but telling. ... | emotional_intelligence.pdf |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.