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• Daniel Kahneman's concept of thinking systems (System 1 and System 2) and how they interact |
• How System 2 (higher-order thought process) has limited resources and can be lazy or overused, leading to decision fatigue |
• The impact of stressors and constraints on making choices, including major life changes |
• The role of conditioning and training in shaping one's thoughts and behaviors, especially from ages 0-5 |
• The blurred lines between having a choice and not having a choice when it comes to activating System 1 or System 2 thinking |
• Awareness of oneself and one's motivations |
• Identity formation and how past experiences influence current choices |
• The relationship between emotions and decision-making |
• The importance of self-awareness in recognizing when it's time to make a change |
• Causation vs. correlation and avoiding making unfounded assumptions about the consequences of a particular choice |
• Integrity as a choice and not an inherent trait |
• The importance of awareness and understanding one's motivations and choices |
• The role of defenses and self-preservation in limiting awareness and making choices |
• The distinction between blame and understanding the factors that contribute to one's circumstances |
• The need to examine circumstances from a lens of "why things are the way they are" rather than who is to blame |
• The importance of effort, intention, and deliberate action in creating change |
• Conditioning oneself through habits and processes to make choices and create outcomes |
• Considering long-term consequences of choices (e.g. 10 minutes, 10 months, 10 years) when making decisions |
• Viewing choices as a hybrid of present and future needs and constraints |
• Algorithm of choice: making decisions based on personal values and identity |
• Aligning choices with self-perception and sense of identity |
• Influence of environment and habits on decision-making |
• Importance of congruence between outward choices and internal priorities/values |
• Recognizing individuality and respecting constraints when optimizing life choices |
**Adam Stacoviak:** It seems we always have a choice. While we may not feel we have choices, somehow, despite our best efforts, we always have a choice to make. We say "We had to do it that way" or "We had to do this thing." Meanwhile, we really did have other choices, it's just a matter of they weren't as good-looking... |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Yeah, I wholeheartedly agree. I think it's interesting -- there's patterns or themes that emerge as I work with people in the process of therapy, and the words "I had to" or "I didn't have another option" come out so often... And the interesting thing and why I think this is a really big d... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yeah... There's this big idea that this is just one big simulation. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Yeah, right. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** It's kind of like that. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Yeah. And I think the interesting thing is not everybody makes the same choices - of course, because they're not the same person, and they don't have the same preference, goals, desires, all of those things. And so it gets really muddled sometimes in life, especially when we encounter obst... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** But you should... \[laughter\] |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** ...if you don't wanna pay a lot more money, or go to prison, right? |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Right. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** So there are these constraints that always go with choices. An example - I think about this with looking at building a home. People would say "Well, this is the home I wanna build", and then they go look for the land they wanna build it on, and then they buy said land, and then they go to ... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Right. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** ...when in fact this is just choice. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** \[03:57\] And then from choice comes change, and change is constant... |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Right... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** ...change is hard... I'm gonna reference a book that I'm sure that you've read, and hopefully a large portion of the audience has read, and if not, you should definitely read it. It's easy; it's maybe a few hours' read, but it's "Who moved my cheese?" Such life lessons you will learn from reading th... |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Right. Oh, I love that. It's so true... Even in talking about trying to navigate relationships, and life, and whatnot, that I often say people are predictably unpredictable... Right? |
**Adam Stacoviak:** That's right. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** And that change is our one constant. But people have a lot of feelings when it comes to change... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yeah. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** And as we talk about these different topics, it's just interesting how much we end up going back and referencing where we started with those fundamentals of being human, and how we talk about emotions... Because guess what affects our choices? How we feel. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** That's right. Gosh, yes... How I feel definitely affects my choices. Because if I'm feeling good that day, I might be more positive, have a more positive outlook; I might even be more social, so more connection... |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Sure. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** ...maybe even deeper relationships with people because of that. But if I'm feeling bad, I might choose to isolate and retract, and I'm not making connections, I'm not open to new opportunities, and now suddenly I'm down and I'm making down choices. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Yeah, I think about it a lot with people in terms of vocation. People create a plan, they go to school and cultivate the skills they need to do to cultivate that plan, and then they do said job/career for X amount of time, and then they go "Oh, shoot. This doesn't fit anymore, but now I ha... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yeah. There's the term "I've painted myself into a corner." |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Yeah... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** And that's kind of what we do with our life, we sort of paint... I think the terminology comes from maybe painting the floor; most rooms have four walls, four corners, and so what happens is you don't think about the process of painting the room's floor, and you literally paint yourself into the cor... |
This metaphor though is pretty interesting, because you feel locked in, you feel like change is not possible... But you said before about this aspect of hope - if we lose hope in the future, hope of change, that we will begin to dwindle. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Right. Yeah, exactly. It's interesting how working with people, just little nuances and words can make such a difference... And I love it when people get this awareness of the concept of time, and recognizing "Well, maybe I can't make that change yet." |
**Adam Stacoviak:** \[08:17\] Yeah. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Not yet. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** The parentheses with yet is a big super-power. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Right, because you know what that "yet" does? It changes actually how I feel. Because remember how we talked about this perception of threat; when I'm fearful, what my brain does because it's adaptive, it's environmentally adaptive to go "I see far and narrow." So my ability to see alterna... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yeah. But how often do we use constraints in a positive way though? For example, we've just had a conversation on the Changelog that's gonna come out next week with Stephanie... She was writing this book, and she gave herself a constraint of "Okay, I've never written a book before." |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Okay... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** "...and I have to give myself a deadline, or I won't do it." |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Right. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** This is an example of a constraint used in a positive way. |
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