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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096623 | [S1] Thank you for clarifying it. There's also inter- now, a lot of them start on the outside. There are internal clitoral nerves, we call it the G-spot. There's a lot of sensitive parts inside, but the magic is in the outside. It's like how you have to like warm up, right? You have to warm up your car. I know we're bo... | 29.92 | 3.452381 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096623.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096624 | [S1] ... responsive and the spontaneous. What happens a lot for vulva owners is our partner, who is a spontaneous reaction to seeing us naked or to seeing us in the kitchen or whatever we're doing, and maybe your partner, Chris, will grab you and say, "I'm in the mood," and you're thinking, "I just have 16 windows open... | 29.92 | 3.298896 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096624.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096625 | [S1] inaccurate information. [S2] Yeah. [S1] We don't even think to do the research. Now, my career started because I was in my mid-30s thinking, "What is wrong with me? Why aren't I having orgasms like my partner is? He's always having a good time, but what's going on with me?" And I found there wasn't a lot of inform... | 22.48 | 3.395152 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096625.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096626 | [S1] I think we need to say that this conversation today is going to hit the reset on all of that. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And my mission is to arm us all with the information that you need that is factual, that is driven by your health and self-expression, and by having more connection | 27.16 | 3.343337 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096626.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096627 | [S1] You know, it, it, it's why we're with somebody romantically. Otherwise, we're just roommates. We, we require intimacy and touch to, you know, it, it also, all this stuff is really great for our nervous system. And I think, I know with all of the shame and misinformation, we sort of are all not really sure what, wh... | 29.88 | 3.465052 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096627.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096628 | [S1] And we are, but I have always reminded you, we are responsible for our own pleasure and our own orgasms. That's number one. Number two, we often feel that it's shameful. So we grew up in an environment, again, which we talked about, where we were told that masturbation, maybe you're going to go blind. [S2] [LAUGHS... | 29.88 | 3.417568 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096628.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096629 | [S1] Those are some reasons why it's, you know, very important to connect with our bodies and give ourselves pleasure. You know, it's sex with somebody we love, and that is ourselves. So I, I have a lot of tips for that too, to get started, to, to learn to feel good about it. I encourage couples to do it. [S2] Okay. [S... | 23.08 | 3.266699 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096629.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096630 | [S1] ... the access to a brand new chapter in your life filled with pleasure and the kind of sexual experiences that you want begins with you and solo sex. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And for me personally, you know, I, I just will speak very openly about this. You know, I lost my virginity when I was really young. | 25.52 | 3.484166 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096630.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096631 | [S1] Bachelorette party. That I was like, "Oh, wait a minute. This is- [S2] Hello. [S1] ... easy. Okay, wow. Why, why, why, why, why?" You know, and, and again, I'm 55 and I, there just wasn't the information available. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Like, there was so much shame, so much just secrecy around it. And I even feel tha... | 27.24 | 3.40501 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096631.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096632 | [S1] Like I feel, not like I'm cheating on Chris, but like I'm doing something wrong if I'm in our bedroom alone and I'm using one of my vibrating toys and that I'm d- like that there's something wrong. Like I literally wait until I hear his truck leave the driveway and then I'm like, "Oh, okay. It's okay to do that no... | 24.84 | 3.49262 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096632.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096633 | [S1] Yeah, absolutely. Until we understand our own owner's manual, what actually feels good, and take a mirror and look between our legs. [S2] Oh my God, I don't want to do that. [S1] I can't t- [S2] Why, why do I have to do that? [S1] I have no male. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Because that's how we're gonna understand- [S2] O... | 14.6 | 3.1343 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096633.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096634 | [S1] ... 'cause then you understand, like, "Oh, wow, look, the left part of my clitoris is more sensitive than the right." [S2] I don't, I don't think I would do that. [S1] This is- [S2] Really? [S1] Okay. [S2] You, you gotta look at it? [S1] Yes. You gotta take a look. Yeah. It really, it's a way of connecting. And th... | 29.72 | 3.101822 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096634.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096635 | [S1] And so we want to be our own best advocates for everything, right, in our life. We, like, stand up to our doctors or our bosses or whatever, but with sex, we're like, "You can figure it out." [S2] Yeah, or just go a little up to the right there. Yes, or you're inching them down or you're, like, kind of trying to g... | 17.48 | 3.126222 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096635.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096636 | [S1] ... really important to unpack the discomfort I feel on behalf of everybody listening. [S2] Okay. [S1] Okay? [S2] Please do, Mel. [S1] Well, because, you know, when you say, "I'm down for understanding my body, having solo sex, understanding which side, where, what feels good, what doesn't, so I can communicate wi... | 28.32 | 3.384829 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096636.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096637 | [S1] ... that was a hard no. [S2] Ooh. Okay. [S1] And I don't know what that's about, but it's clearly, I'm not the only one that feels that way. Anybody here in the, in the studio, we see, do I see, I, I'm seeing hands raised. [S2] [LAUGHS] | 16 | 3.389432 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096637.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096639 | [S1] I mean, I've been married 27 years. This guy has seen me deliver three children. He has helped me, like, get over the flu. I mean, he has seen me at my worst. I'm sure he would love it. Uh... [S2] Uh, yeah. [S1] What the fuck? Why, why am I so inhibited? [S2] Mm. Well, you know, there's, because we don't, literall... | 23.44 | 3.009632 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096639.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096640 | [S1] Any models of this, we tend to glorify male masturbation, right? [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] We see it in movies. We tend to say like, "Oh, I know they're gonna do it. Men gotta get theirs," you know, like American Pie and Porky's and all the movies we grew up in. [S2] Yeah. [S1] We, m- m- female masturbation is like silent... | 29.92 | 3.237491 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096640.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096641 | [S1] in the mirror, when they are in the state of arousal, when they're pleasuring themselves, they actually tend to get more turned on. Now, I, that might have been a skip of a step here because we still have some more to cover, but- [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] ... I think it's just getting over the hump of like, first off, I,... | 25.16 | 3.402076 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096641.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096642 | [S1] They can't believe that they hadn't done it once they do it because here, and what I'm talking about now is a little bit of mutual masturbation. And this is one of my top tips for couples that I just love because, well, it's all awkward and weird. And so much of what I do is literally get people over the hump. [S2... | 25.64 | 3.392889 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096642.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096643 | [S1] Okay. Okay. So this is what you're doing. Well, first, I mean, I would love you to have a conversation with Chris- [S2] Okay. [S1] ... on your next date night. 'Cause I don't think it's something that you just kind of start doing in the bedroom. I think it's great to talk about it first. [S2] Okay. [S1] And so- [S... | 16.72 | 3.254207 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096643.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096644 | [S1] I'm telling you, there it is. Okay. 'Cause we're gonna, we're gonna loop back in to your, uh, we're gonna work this into your mutual masturbation with Chris tonight. [S2] Okay. [S1] Okay. So, maybe tomorrow? [S2] Tonight. Let's go. [S1] So- [S2] Well, I'm tired. [S1] ... Tonight. [S2] Maybe tomorrow morning. [S1] ... | 20.76 | 3.403183 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096644.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096645 | [S1] ... awkward conversation you have around sex because we, so the first one is timing. And you want to have this conversation where you're both in a more parasympathetic state. So you're relaxed, you're energized, you're at ease. Maybe it's date night. [S2] Let's assume it's not date night because most people don't ... | 27.76 | 3.310948 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096645.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096646 | [S1] That's a good time to have a conversation. [S2] That's perfect. [S1] Okay. [S2] You're sitting on the couch. | 4.16 | 3.315666 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096646.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096647 | [S1] I love it. Um, so then our tone, so the timing is when you guys are in a good place hanging out on the couch. [S2] Great, love it. [S1] But I've known about date night. I know that most couples don't, but there have been so much research that shows that couples who prioritize date night have more pleasurable, sati... | 26.4 | 3.080532 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096647.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096648 | [S1] Oh. [S2] Believe it or not. [S1] Okay. [S2] It's, it's the bedroom. We love the bedroom to be left for sleeping and for sex. [S1] Okay. [S2] Keep it a sacred space. The conversation is happening outside the bedroom, on the couch, on a walk, on a road trip when you're in the car because that way it's less awkward b... | 23.24 | 3.433405 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096648.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096649 | [S1] Then you could say, so we got the timing, tone, and turf. So we've just covered all of those. And then you could say, you know what? I think that I, you could even be honest. I've masturbate when you leave the house and- [S2] I got to tell him. [S1] ... I think it would be really hot to masturbate together. Do, wh... | 28.2 | 3.307148 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096649.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096650 | [S1] Just came in his truck. [S2] He's leaving, going down the driveway and parking down the street and you're in your house. You could be together. [S1] I am going to have this conversation and I feel, why are we so embarrassed about this? | 15.64 | 3.08196 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096650.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096651 | [S1] We talk about everything, from finances, to your kids, to who's walking the dog, to where are we going out to dinner, to this, to that, to the other thing, to what's hot, you need a pair of khakis, I'm going to the mall. Like everything. [S2] [LAUGHS] Okay. [S1] And we don't talk about this other than, do you want... | 21.8 | 3.342776 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096651.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096652 | [S1] I created these pillars of sex IQ, sexual intelligence, I call it, because what I realized after all these years, Mel, that everyone wants a quick fix to get in the mood. They're like, "I, what's wrong with me?" [S2] Yes. [S1] "I'm not in the mood. Tell me one thing." They're like, "Okay, Dr. Emily, what's the pos... | 27.08 | 3.38265 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096652.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096653 | [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] Yeah. A big one here is breath. Our breath anchors us in the present moment. Maybe everyone can do that with us right now. If we count to five, and the kegel is those P, and men and women can do them too. I just want to say all genders get to do kegels. It's the, the P stopping muscles where we start,... | 25.56 | 3.288346 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096653.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096654 | [S1] And then you just find that now we're on the same page. Like we are in this together. Like we're, we're, like let's get refocused. And now, you know, we just, he'll do it to me, I'll do it to him. So that's one of them. Because a lot of us do this shallow breathing. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Maybe we learn it in porn, lik... | 29.88 | 3.170726 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096654.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096655 | [S1] I love that tip. Especially the deep breath in and the Kegel, it just moves the shopping list right out of my mind and brings you right back. No, I'm serious though, because- [S2] I know. [S1] ... the, the number of people that wrote in, both about libido and the lack of a libido, which you just addressed by basic... | 25.96 | 3.43983 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096655.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096656 | [S1] Mm. Okay. An orgasm is essentially the most pleasurable muscles, muscle spasm. [S2] Oh. [S1] In our body that we can have. It's really just like the science of it is that we are really just feeling. So it's a point of where we | 22.4 | 3.148995 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096656.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096657 | [S1] and a lot of tension, and you're going to have pleasure in your genitals and throughout your body. [S2] Is it true that you had 23 orgasms in one night? [S1] [LAUGHS] It is. [S2] How- [S1] It was actually a long day. It was, it was, it was a way with a boyfriend, um, but it is true. [S2] Can, can we talk about tha... | 20.64 | 3.272231 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096657.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096658 | [S1] celebrate or prioritize or center on female pleasures. And so I was away with a partner and I brought like my toys and my lubes and we were playing around and I just started to count. And I was doing all the things. You know, some was with him, some was with, you know, fingers and mouths and toys and just water. A... | 27.92 | 3.393979 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096658.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096659 | [S1] Well, hot sex is, is really subjective in a way. I think for many people, I would define hot sex, though, as consensual, mutually pleasurable sex where everyone's communicating and having a good time and feel safe, cherished, adored, and hot. [S2] That sounds pretty hot. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] And how do you switch up ... | 28.44 | 3.290346 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096659.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096661 | [S1] ... directed. It's like, I'm getting shit done. I have a mission. I'm going to go, right? Now, I, I think, Mel, we might be similar in this way, but I live a lot in my masculine energy. I run a business. I'm, I, I, I manage people. I've got a thing going on in my, I mean, I just, I, I, I'm a business owner. I am a... | 29.88 | 3.403812 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096661.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096663 | [S1] ... build. And so it gives him space to take up his masculine when I'm more in my feminine. [S2] Is dropping into that type of energy for yourself something you could do to increase your chance of having an orgasm tonight? [S1] Absolutely. | 14.36 | 3.295082 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096663.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096664 | [S1] If you can learn to cultivate that energy, because remember sex is energy, orgasm is energy. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And, and I, I'm telling you, Mel, the thing that has been the most useful for me is remembering to, is, is breath work and meditation and letting the day fold. Because if I just get into sex without any o... | 29.88 | 3.316877 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096664.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096665 | [S1] It could be connection. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] It could be, it could be experience, intimacy. I think a lot of times, yes, orgasms are amazing, but even when we don't center sex on orgasm, we find that we might actually have more. Because when we're constantly thinking about, "Is it gonna happen? Is it gonna happen?" A... | 19.84 | 3.300137 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096665.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096666 | [S1] And then you have to listen. Now, again, I can't say this enough. You're like, "What do you mean?" You, they, a lot of times they're in fight or flight now. Perhaps they're on the defensive. You've never talked about it. [S2] They're like, "Oh, babe, let's go." [S1] And you know this is- | 10.32 | 3.07046 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096666.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096667 | [S1] Babe, let's go. [S2] [LAUGHS] Yeah. Right. Some might be like, right? Like, oh. But some, hopefully, they're like, "Oh, wow. I hear what you're saying. Tell me more about that." And we have to remember that we don't want to be defensive. We want to listen, and then we just explain them, give them the facts. Like, ... | 29.24 | 3.033372 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096667.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096668 | [S1] I wanna make sure everybody, Volvo owners or not, just heard that. We're slow cookers and on average we're talking 20 minutes of arousal. And I like these terms because it, it's making me understand my body. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And it's making it less about what you do, what I do, that this is literally how my body ... | 28.84 | 3.297736 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096668.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096669 | [S1] ... game time, and you're like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I need 20 minutes to really get the, the arousal engine going." That's not unique to you if you are a Volvo owner. And it's important that we all understand that and embrace that fact. And look, you, I know we're now gonna get all kinds of ... | 28.72 | 3.335058 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096669.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096670 | [S1] ... embracing this and being able to not feel shame around it. And I like what you said, how do you feel about that? How does that sound to you? That that's the way you serve up the sex compliment sandwich. That you- [S2] Relieved. [S1] ... then ask them how they're feeling. And that conversation in and of itself,... | 23.76 | 3.428111 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096670.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096671 | [S1] In a relationship that has not been having sex for a long time. And as a sex therapist, what is a long, what do you define as a normal, healthy amount of sex that doesn't include penetration, everybody? We're talking about- [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] ... actual moments of consensual pleasure with one another. How often | 24.92 | 3.444391 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096671.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096672 | [S1] And so how do you broach that for real- [S2] Mm-hmm. Okay. [S1] ... in your relationship? Because there were a hell of a lot of people that wrote in about it. | 8.24 | 3.322886 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096672.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096673 | [S1] So, this is, again, remember we talked about how sex, there's few theories around sex and desire and fantasy. There's not, um, th- there's a guy named Jack Morin, and in the 70s, he started talking about this. He started looking at desire, and he started looking at what is actually our turn-ons, what's going on in... | 29.76 | 3.351423 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096673.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096674 | [S1] We were not, we didn't have a lot of attention, our needs were ignored, maybe we were emotionally neglected. So when it comes to sex, what makes us feel aroused and feel safe is, you know, when I fantasize or I think, "Oh, my partner," I want them to spend time sort of worshiping my body and giving me praise. And ... | 29.88 | 3.272356 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096674.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096675 | [S1] ... Threesomes. That's like a common one for men and women in America. Like threesomes, group sex, like it's very common. Or I like to think about, but we don't necessarily need it to happen, but we like it to fantasize about it. Or we like, a fetish is actually a requirement for arousal. So unless I see feet, lik... | 28.92 | 3.385803 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096675.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096676 | [S1] Light some candles. I love massage candles, Mel. They're like regular candles that you light and they, or you're going to get a care package and the, you light them for like 20, 30 minutes and then they go out and you pour it on your partner and it's, don't do this with a regular candle, but it turns into the most... | 29.88 | 3.357537 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096676.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096677 | [S1] Um, this could be a few things. This could come from shame, feeling like you are actually not supposed to have pleasure. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And from losing control. So maybe they feel the orgasm is coming up in their body and they're so afraid of what they're gonna look like, what it's gonna sound like, they actual... | 29.88 | 3.357279 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096677.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096678 | [S1] Uh, something called vaginismus or vulvodynia, which means that every time something goes inside of them, they have pain. [S2] Hmm. [S1] Any, it could be a tampon, it could be a finger. And it's not always the cause of trauma, but for many women, they, they had some kind of assault and so their body has literally ... | 26.12 | 3.345147 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096678.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096679 | [S1] ... that. Um, I mean, that's just a few. There could be sexual thoughts that are, that are disturbing. It could be avoidance of sex, um, flashbacks. [S2] Great. [S1] A lot of it is body too, stuff. So that's, those are some signs. [S2] Um, you have a PhD in human sexuality. You're a sex expert. You've been studyin... | 24.84 | 3.308956 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096679.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096680 | [S1] Yeah, I, I, I think so. We, it is possible for us to have sex and get attached in the way of like I have sex- [S2] Emotionally. [S1] ... with a person. Yeah, I, I, absolutely. Um, it's possible for everyone to have sex and not get attached if they are | 15.12 | 3.264989 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096680.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096681 | [S1] And that's your responsibility. That's Dr. Emily's- [S2] It's your responsibility. [S1] ... huge message here, is that you are responsible for your own sexual pleasure. Two final questions. You talk about a yes, no, maybe list. Why, what is it, and why do we all need one? | 16.72 | 3.509445 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096681.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096682 | [S1] I'm de- I'm printing it out and bringing it to date night. Christopher Robbins, get ready. He's not gonna know what hit him or bit him, depending upon what's on the yes, no, maybe list. [S2] People love it for date night. I've heard a lot of great stories, Mel, so let me know how it goes. [S1] Now, f- can we botto... | 26.8 | 3.390446 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096682.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096683 | [S1] ... Touch and intimacy away from the orgasm. [S2] Wow. Dr. Emily, I think on behalf of all the vulva owners and penis owners, I want to say- [S1] [CLAPS] | 12.64 | 3.355049 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096683.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096684 | [S1] Wow. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for helping us create the best chapter of pleasure and sex of our entire lives. I am so excited to report back in detail, not on the podcast, with you. [S2] I'm here for you, Mel. [S1] I know you are. I know you are. Thank you so much. It's just been a real honor to be with you... | 28.12 | 3.19369 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096684.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096685 | [S1] Okay. Hey. [S2] Here I come. Okay. Ugh. [S1] Hold on a second. Oops. Can I have the con- the thing? [S2] [SIGHS] [S1] Chris sees you. He walks in the room. And again, I don't want- I hate- This is why I don't speak in- [S2] Oh, you can use- [S1] ... gender- | 19.16 | 3.209736 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p111_m4-dialogue_0096685.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303241 | [S1] You ask, I answer. And my friend and colleague Amy McGlynn, who you've heard on this podcast, is going to be reading your questions rapid fire. Let's fucking go. [S2] Okay, Lee asks you, Mel, what are things you've learned from these guest speakers you've had on the podcast that you've implemented yourself? [S1] O... | 29.4 | 3.442612 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303241.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303242 | [S1] Dana Kay White changed my goddamn life. [S2] Yes, she did. [LAUGHS] And ours too, in the podcast studio room. [S1] Oh, my gosh. [S2] She cleaned up. [S1] I no longer organize. I use her tidying method. And I am forever walking around the house with something in my hand because of this trick that she taught us wher... | 23.08 | 3.441198 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303242.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303243 | [S1] Awesome. And piles are an ADD thing too. You have to work hard, right? If you have a lot of piles- [S2] It's true. [S1] Yeah. So, okay, great. Next question is from Patsy. She needs some relief here. She says, "Mel, how do I stop looking at my ex's social media to catch, to catch a glimpse of their new life?" But ... | 28.36 | 3.471246 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303243.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303244 | [S1] Because you, there's something familiar about feeling that intensity. And I don't know, if you, if you block somebody, can you look at them? We need to, can somebody research this- [S2] We need to figure that out. [S1] ... and come back to it? Because I want to give a specific example of how you do this, because y... | 29.4 | 3.43222 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303244.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303245 | [S1] You have to do it. You have to do it. But you can't trust yourself. [S2] Oh, thank you. [S1] You can't trust yourself. [S2] Yeah. It says here from, uh, just a quick Google search, "No, you can't. Once you block someone, you cannot see their profile and they can't view yours." [S1] Great. [S2] So- | 19.36 | 3.354788 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303245.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303246 | [S1] So there's the answer. [S2] Yeah. [S1] You have to block them. Block them on every single platform because you cannot trust yourself. You are an addict to this because of the emotional and chemical and, you know, all the fancy shit in your brain, the neurotransmitters, this, the receptors, that, that are firing. A... | 27.16 | 3.49789 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303246.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303247 | [S1] and to realize how your past is in your day-to-day life in the present. This is why you do not have the future that you want. Get this fucking past out of your present, block this shit, and move on. [S2] Right. Block it, stop it, kick it to the curb. Next question. Sarubi says, "Mel, what's your star sign?" [S1] I... | 27.84 | 3.370107 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303247.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303248 | [S1] You're a Libra. Is that- [S2] I'm a Libra. [S1] Does that mean anything to you? [S2] Um, well, I was born on October 6th, and what I have learned is that apparently the most common birthdays on the planet are October 1st through, like, the 7th. [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] Why? New Year's, baby. And, um, is that too much in... | 27.24 | 3.486247 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303248.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303249 | [S1] I like to think, like the Lieber sign, I'm a very balanced person. Um, and when I get out of balance, like I erupt, I apologize and come back in. It doesn't mean I'm always perfect and in balance, but I feel best in alignment. [S2] All right. Here's a good one. [S1] Okay. [S2] From Missy. She says, "Mel, do you ha... | 24.92 | 3.388307 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303249.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303250 | [S1] You are about to be born into another world of which you have no understanding of consciousness. And I believe that when you die, the same thing happens and you are born into a whole different world that we have no consciousness of. That's what I believe. [S2] I never heard it put that way, Mel. How, how did you c... | 26.12 | 3.476243 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303250.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303251 | [S1] ... incredible. [S2] Yeah, it, it was not what they, they taught in Methodist Church. [S1] Right. [S2] Which is what I grew up- [S1] Or biology class. [S2] Yeah, or bio- I don't know. I just think about it on a spiritual plane. I really do. And, you know, I, I grew up going to church and, um, I am one of those peo... | 24.08 | 3.241155 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303251.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303252 | [S1] But that, you know, that's a person that is no more representation of God or the universe than you or me. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] That, you know, it's really inside of you, this ability to connect to something deeper and to act in the outside world as if you give a shit about people. | 19.56 | 3.393001 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303252.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303253 | [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] Gorgeous. [S1] Well, I'm glad Missy asked that question. [S2] Me too. [S1] Great question. Okay, here's the next one. How to, how do you deal, Mel, with difficult parents of your kids' friends? So this person's in a friend group with her kids' friends, and these other parents are being pains in the as... | 27.04 | 3.358015 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303253.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303254 | [S1] And you see it all the time with that sort of fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth grade lane. [S2] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. [S1] And so how you deal with it depends on the age of their kids. And I also find that, um, just having a direct conversation is the best way to deal with it. [S2] With the parent. [S1] Yeah. | 23 | 3.281138 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303254.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303255 | [S1] Like if the parent is kind of trying to pull the, "We didn't get to mine, he's feeling left out," just be like, "Look, I'm not going to ne- I'm not gonna facilitate my kids' friendships." They're at an age where they can be friends with who they wanna be friends with. And it's not about leaving people out because ... | 28.52 | 3.404441 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303255.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303256 | [S1] And it means the parents, the parents, in my opinion, who are acting like shit are extremely insecure people. The people that need their kid to be on the starting lineup of everything, so they're up the coach's ass. We all hate you. We do. We all hate you. [S2] Kind of do, yeah. [S1] Yes. And the parents who need ... | 29.88 | 3.428696 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303256.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303257 | [S1] Mm-hmm. We're hearing you, Mel. I totally get that. All right, Skip says, it's kind of a deep question. Skip says, "My wife is pregnant and I'm struggling." Skip is struggling because he's feeling neglected from the lack of intimacy. [S2] Oh. [S1] He says, "Am I crazy?" He says, "How do I show my wife love and bri... | 29.88 | 3.247183 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303257.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303258 | [S1] It's true. [S2] I, it is true. I'm laughing at the truth. Yes, it's the truth. [S1] You know, you could, uh, as, as, as long as her stitches are healed, you could draw a bath and the two of you could sit in the bath together and you could massage each other's feet and have a glass of wine. You just gotta pump and ... | 23.96 | 3.424531 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303258.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303259 | [S1] Yeah. [S2] And if what you're talking about is, you know, when is she gonna give me a blow job? When am I gonna have an orgasm? When are we gonna have sex? You gotta realize she has grown a cannonball and launched it through her vaginal canal, which is basically a major renovation to your downstairs. [S1] [LAUGHS]... | 27.44 | 3.424036 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303259.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303260 | [S1] I don't know if I remember the exact first time, but I remember being terrified of having sex after having a kid. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Is it gonna hurt? Is it gonna pull the stitches? Like, oh my God, I, I don't wanna get pregnant again. Like just, ugh. And so, | 18.32 | 3.360628 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303260.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303261 | [S1] But the second the baby comes out and it's all hanging there, and now you wanna have sex? [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Give me a fucking break. | 12.92 | 3.307499 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303261.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303262 | [S1] ... with a grain of salt, but what the real takeaway here is really cultivate intimacy with a conversation first and talk to her about it. And make her feel like anything that works for her is okay. That will make her horny as fuck. [S2] [LAUGHS] I love it. [S1] And congratulate | 29.48 | 3.320521 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303262.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303263 | [S1] Congratulations on the new baby. [S2] Yeah. Awesome. Okay. Mel, I don't know if you could answer this question, but we're going to give it to you. From Betsy. She says, "Can you, can you talk about life insurance and tell me how it works?" [S1] Not really. [S2] Okay. Nay says, "Mel, how did you know you were dysle... | 20.2 | 3.209584 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303263.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303264 | [S1] Going to Taylor Swift with my two daughters, Mother's Day weekend in Paris. It is my 55th birthday present to myself. [S2] Beat that. [S1] [LAUGHS] | 17.64 | 3.228995 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303264.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303265 | [S1] Give him a treat and tell him to stay. It's right there in that little wooden bowl. [S2] Okay. Okay, cool. [S1] Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know, what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and en... | 22.64 | 2.82571 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p112_m4-dialogue_0303265.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_m4-dialogue_0270652 | [S1] You and I are digging into the fascinating science, research, and psychology of drama. [S2] Do you use language like extremely, literally, always, very, really, never. Do you feel anxious or bored when things are calm? Do you end up gossiping and stirring things up? Drama's not about making sense. It's about makin... | 25.68 | 3.208378 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_m4-dialogue_0270652.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_m4-dialogue_0270653 | [S1] Dr. Scott Lyons, welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast. [S2] Thanks, Mel. I'm so excited to be here. [S1] I'm thrilled. And so I want to start with- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... the most obvious question, which is, what do you mean when you say addicted to drama? What does that even mean? | 17 | 2.876045 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_m4-dialogue_0270653.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_m4-dialogue_0270654 | [S1] It's the unnecessary turmoil. It's the exaggeration. It's the performative aspect of the, the use of, the dysregulated use of energy, action, emotion, and the dysfunctional way of adaptation. Like- [S2] Okay, those were a lot of big words. [S1] Those were a lot of big words. We can break them down. [S2] But the mo... | 29.48 | 3.263546 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_m4-dialogue_0270654.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_m4-dialogue_0270655 | [S1] I think this is super easy to spot in other people. [S2] Yeah. [S1] It's the person who's like the bull in the China shop, and everything's about them, and they're very blustery. [S2] Yeah. [S1] But you just included me in the definition when you said unnecessary turmoil. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And I never considered mys... | 27.48 | 3.480546 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_m4-dialogue_0270655.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_m4-dialogue_0270656 | [S1] Yeah. [S2] ... that there are many areas and examples in my life- [S1] Yeah. [S2] ... where I create unnecessary turmoil- [S1] Yeah. [S2] ... for myself. And so, for the person listening, can you just go even deeper? [S1] Yeah. [S2] Could you walk us through- [S1] Yeah. [S2] ... some of the questions that you migh... | 24.6 | 3.407195 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_m4-dialogue_0270656.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_m4-dialogue_0270657 | [S1] But at a cost. [S2] Right. And the thing to think, remember about gossiping, is if people do it with you, they always do it about you. [S1] Exactly. Uh, you crave extreme situations and sensations. [S2] Hmm. [S1] So that might be big feelings, it might be big actions like par- you know, like jumping out of an airp... | 28.56 | 3.446914 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_m4-dialogue_0270657.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_m4-dialogue_0270658 | [S1] This is the victim form of drama. [S2] This is the victim, but it's also what we call drama bonding. So it's a way of feeling connection. So it's like, "Hey Mel, oh my God, you're not gonna believe who I saw in the lobby. He gave me this weird look," and all of a sudden you're saying, "Oh, tell me more," and then ... | 23.44 | 3.398508 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_m4-dialogue_0270658.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_m4-dialogue_0270659 | [S1] If you find yourself generalizing one bad situation and making it universal. So it's that, like, someone cut me off on the road today and, ugh, what a terrible day it is. [S2] Or everybody that I've met is a loser, I'm not dating. [S1] Yes. [S2] What's up with men? I can't handle this anymore. Yes. Okay. [S1] Yes.... | 24.72 | 3.457858 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_m4-dialogue_0270659.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_m4-dialogue_0270660 | [S1] Yes. Yeah. It's like, "Ooh." Yeah. Um, the, the catch phrase, "It's always something." [S2] Always something. [S1] It's always something, you know? And I have other friends who I'm like, "It's always something." And I go, "What's always something?" [S2] And they should just look at you and be like, "You." [S1] [LA... | 18.72 | 3.420144 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_m4-dialogue_0270660.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_m4-dialogue_0270661 | [S1] That, that is true. Yeah. Um, you feel more alive under pressure. So like waiting to the deadline to get things done. You're preoccupied with fixing things. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Mm. Uh, you play out a scenario or interaction over and over again in your head, even changing the story line a little bit at each time, and... | 27.32 | 3.428957 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_m4-dialogue_0270661.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_m4-dialogue_0270663 | [S1] What are some of the signs that you might feel internally? [S2] And it's important, again, to recognize how we view someone addicted to drama on the outside is different than how people feel on the inside. [S1] Okay. [S2] So from the inside, you might say things, "I don't feel like I can direct my own reality. I d... | 29.72 | 3.499594 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p113_m4-dialogue_0270663.mp3 | [
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