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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p152_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p152_m4-dialogue_0855681
[S1] ... anything in it. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] I mean, because that's life sometimes. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And I just remember, but I opened it, because sometimes you do a thing not for where you are currently, but for where you- [S2] But where you wanna go. [S1] There you go. And so I opened up a savings account, because they...
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[S1] ... the budget, and I was starting to do a little better. And I was, like, I remember I was able to save $5 a month, and I put it in there, not for the five, but five was proof. If I could do five, one day I'll do 10. If I could do 10, one, one day I'll do 100. If I could do 100, one day I'll do 1,000. And so it w...
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[S1] I, I love that you said that, 'cause I can absolutely remember years of my life where there was a savings account attached to my checking account. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] I could not afford to put anything in there. It would literally be like $0.27. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] You know, like that. And, and I made friends with the...
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[S1] Still someday. [S2] Yes. [S1] Someday. [S2] Someday. [S1] Someday I will get it in there. Someday. [S2] Dreamscaping. [S1] Okay. Let's talk about dreamscaping. [S2] Yes. [S1] What is dreamscaping?
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[S1] And so I, but I love daydreaming because it allows me to try, like, really like, um, go into the future and say, "This is what life is going to look like for me." Live there for a little bit and then bring back, bring back that feeling here and it says, "Okay, this is what you need to do for that to be life." [S2]...
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[S1] And then I ask myself, holistically, how do I want life to go? Not financially, holistically. Like, how long do I want my hair to be? Like, where do I want to live? What do I want to drive? You know, what kind of foods am I into? Like, I just imagining my full, complete life. Where have I traveled to? [S2] Yeah. [...
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[S1] If there's someone who, that's part of your dream, that they're living it, you know, maybe they're on social media and you follow their social media. You know, do they do podcast interviews? Do they have a book that's come out? Do you know them personally? Like, don't call this alone. Why? You know, the fastest wa...
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[S1] ... you about what does that look like? And then fourth, I create a plan based upon what I've learned about, "This is where I wanna be. This is what I've learned from Mel of how she got there. Let me create a plan that's focused but flexible because I'm not you." [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So it's like a, you know, there's...
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[S1] ... that, like, and it's so big for me. I started the budget Nisa because if not for Linda, where would I be? You know, that, like, I don't care if community is one person or a thousand people or two million people. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Find community and work the plan within that community. [S2] Yeah. [S1] So you can ...
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[S1] ... I love that. [S2] You ever think to yourself, so this is something I remember I, I learned in, um, in therapy when I was, uh, talking to my therapist. She said, like, I've never smoked. I have asthma, so I'm like, I do not want to take myself out of here. And so... [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] [LAUGHS] Um, and so she sa...
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[S1] Never anybody who smoked because I align with, I am who I say I am. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And so, like, that should be the aim for all that we do. So it's not like, "Oh, am I an overspender or underspender?" It's like, well, no, you're just, you align with, this is, I show up, I am who I say I am, that my goal is to b...
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[S1] ... attached to that label. [S2] I do. I do. I feel very empowered as I'm listening to you about going and creating a money list and going and doing the debt list and just really getting a very clear picture for myself. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] For myself so that I can decide in the dreamscape model- [S1] Yes. [S2] ... w...
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[S1] ... with money. [S2] Uh-huh. [S1] Then I've got the expert right here. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And I follow your steps and I can easily learn it. And so can you, as you're listening to this, you have this concept that I freaking love about paying yourself first. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] What does that mean?
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[S1] So that means I want you to ask yourself four questions before you spend any money. And those questions are, do I need it? [S2] No. [S1] Do I love it? [S2] Yes. [S1] Do I like it? [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Do I want it? [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So need it, love it, like it, want it. And so they show you that, like, needs are mos...
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[S1] in order to be okay. [S2] Yeah. [S1] So bills. [S2] Yep. [S1] Those you B's and B's, those are your needs. [S2] Yes. [S1] You know, right? [S2] Yes. [S1] Now loves are different. Loves are something that is going to bring you joy over a year from now, you know? And so that's different for everyone. For some people...
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[S1] For some people it is, you know, that amazing dinner. [S2] Yeah. [S1] For some people it's travel. For some people it is that dress. So there's no judgment there. Just a year from now, will this thing still generate joy for me? [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So deep joy are the things that are, the things that we love. [S2] Ye...
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[S1] You're like, "Oh, it's still cute. I remember." [S2] Yeah. [S1] You know, but a year later you might be like, "Wait, where's that shirt that I had?" You know? [S2] Yeah. [S1] And then wants are literally the opposite. Just instant gratification. [S2] Yes, that's a shop now on Instagram.
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[S1] Yes. So when you are spending money, I'm not here to tell myself no. So I, for example, this is a, well, I, I always travel, but this year in particular, I really want to go, I've never been to Johannesburg, and I want to go. [S2] Oh, yeah. [S1] And there's this, like, really cute travel group. There's, like, 15 w...
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[S1] I have too much stuff. [S2] Yes. [S1] I, I, why, why am I, and I, I do think that there is this rise in shopping and consumerism because you don't have to leave your house. [S2] Yes. [S1] You do not need to leave your house. They pull up and drop it on your doorstep. [S2] Yes. [S1] And you just constantly, it's li...
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[S1] Pull. [S2] Pull. [S1] But if you really want to pay yourself first, then you try as much as possible to stay in much, in the need and the love category. [S2] I love that. [S1] Because that means your money is meaningfully spent. You know what I mean? [S2] Yes. [S1] Like meaningfully. So I'm not here to tell myself...
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[S1] What? [S2] Yes. [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] [LAUGHS] I've been an over-saver where I had so much money saved because there is a point where it's like no more than a year's worth of emergency savings is necessary for savings. I mean, at one point- [S1] You're not talking about investing. You're just talking about savings. [...
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[S1] money because savings is not really growing. [S2] Oh. [S1] You know, it should be put to work. The purpose of, I went to people, 'cause people get mad about savings. They're like, "I want all my money to be put to work." But every belt is not meant to be a fashion Gucci belt. Some belts are safety belts. It's not ...
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[S1] ... belt in it. [S2] Yes. I'm sorry, it's not mon- [S1] ... belt. [S2] Right? It's not monogrammed. [S1] Yes. [S2] Right? The perp, the intention is for safety, and that money, although it'd be nice if savings grew astronomically, that money is just for safety. [S1] I love that. [S2] Mm-hmm. And then the excess, t...
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[S1] So good for you. Four glasses, so great. 40, you're gonna drown. [S2] Yes. I, that, that is, that's the first time I've ever heard that. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] And I think for those of us that has lost your money or nearly lost your house or lost, like, you don't ever wanna be in that. [S1] Yeah. [S2] And so I probably...
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[S1] Okay. So you're calling me a loser? [S2] No. [S1] Let's, so we've covered budget, debt, savings. And now let's talk about number four, which is credit. [S2] Okay. [S1] And this is a hugely popular topic with your audience, with everybody. How can you improve your credit score?
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[S1] So credit, if your issue is credit, congratulations, it's the easiest thing to fix. So I want you to just, [SIGHS] roof-side. 'Cause credit is the thing that people worry about the most. [S2] Yes. [S1] But quite honestly, it's the easiest to fix. Credit is tips and tricks. [S2] Oh my God. [S1] That's it. [S2] Tips...
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[S1] So first thing to understand that there are, there are multiple categories that affect your credit. It's 35% of your score is, um, is what your payment history is. [S2] Okay. [S1] Right? And so, like, do you pay the people on time? Do you pay at least the minimum? Well, then 35% of your score, you're good. [S2] Ha...
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[S1] Do I? [S2] Yeah. [S1] Yeah, I have a brother. [S2] So your brother says, "Sis, can I borrow your car?" [S1] Yeah. [S2] I've never been in an accident. So you've got two drivers, never been in an accident. One just got their license, one that's had it for years. It's not the same. It's the same for credit. Length o...
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[S1] Gotcha. [S2] Just like no driving experience is a bad driver. [S1] Gotcha. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So you have three ways that you can boost your credit score pretty quickly, like even up to 100 points. What are they? [S2] Yeah.
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[S1] Yeah. So my favorite way is, um, I learned this from, like, a debt lawyer. [S2] Okay. [S1] He was, like, 'cause after I lost everything and my credit score, like- [S2] Yes. [S1] I learned the embarrassing way, like, I, I was teaching, like, classes, 'cause I told you, I was, like, "As I did my way, I'm gonna teach...
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[S1] And I was like, luckily it said like, "Tia Lice," and I have a sister named Tracy. I was like, "I logged into Tracy's account. Let me just see." [S2] Right. [S1] [laughs] Can you imagine? I was like, "Wait, is that a five?" [S2] [laughs] [S1] And they were like, I was like, "Anyway, let's talk about how to raise y...
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[S1] One of the best things to do is, he said, pay off a credit card in full every month. But like, so then I realized, like, so he said, "There's something about paying off a debt in full that makes the credit bureaus say, 'Yay.'" So think about your credit score as your GPA, your grade point average. [S2] Okay. [S1] ...
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[S1] ... financial life, right? And so if you want the, the credit bureaus, the teachers, to give you like really great grades, they love to see an A every month. An A plus in credit is when you pay off a debt in full. And so- [S2] So you're talking like if we were to go the method and look at, you line up all your, yo...
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[S1] It's like, boop. [S2] Yep. Just, but it'll be, look, give a look. It'll give you A, but just that A, that one month. But we wanna get an A every month. [S1] Okay. [S2] And so, I like to get a credit card with zero balance or pay one off to zero balance, and then I look at my money list and say, "What is my least e...
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[S1] Yes, and especially if you're, you're in that zone where you're like, I'm trying to put groceries on the table. How the hell am I going to raise my credit score? [S2] Yes. [S1] I gotta, I gotta get to the store and buy some chicken. [S2] Yes. [S1] I'm not worried about all this other stuff. [S2] Yeah. [S1] But you...
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[S1] ... for you. [S2] There you go. If you do that, that was tremendous. [S1] I love that. Wow. Any other tips in terms of boosting credit score? [S2] So another tip is just to like, it's, remember I said, uh, 30, 35% of your score is, um, payment history.
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[S1] Yes. [S2] And so one of the best ways to do it is to just automate your bills from your bills account. 'Cause you don't, that's the payment history. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] And so if this is only though, 'cause not everyone makes enough to cover their bills. This is for those people who make enough to cover your monthly...
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[S1] Oh, I love that. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] All right, let's talk about the fifth thing we need to master, which is how do you increase- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... your money?
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[S1] So best way to start to increase your money is where you currently work. You know? [S2] Okay. [S1] I would be looking like, "Am I paid?" Like, let's look at like what Glass Door is talking about. [S2] Yeah. [S1] You know, but you have to keep in mind not just your role, but the size of company. I promise you the, ...
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[S1] Before you ask for money, create something that my sister calls the Go Me file. That's your brag book. And so whenever she does something at the company, she writes it down. She says, "Mm, Go Me." [S2] Yeah. [S1] Right? And so ideally, the Go Me-
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[S1] ... things on your list are ways that you made the company money- [S2] Yes. [S1] ... so you can quantify or save the company money. [S2] Yes. [S1] She's like, "If you can't quantify it, figure out how to quantify it." [S2] Yes. [S1] You know? And then that way, when you go and you sit with your manager or your bos...
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[S1] I made the company $100,000 last year. [S2] Right. [S1] Or I saved the company $30,000. [S2] Right. [S1] So me asking for this 2% raise, I mean, you know, I'm undervaluing myself. Look at the value that I bring. [S2] Yes. [S1] And so starting there is a great place. [S2] Yes. And this is really backed up by resear...
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[S1] ... that will determine your ability to make more money or your ability to get a promotion is whether or not you make your contributions known. [S2] Yes. Yes. [S1] And so that go me list- [S2] Yep. [S1] ... is a critical habit because you're going to forget. [S2] Yes. [S1] And without that, you don't have the abil...
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[S1] That's it. [S2] I call it, this is what I tell my mentees, I call it illustrating your Oprah. And so I, like Oprah, right, is a type of, like if, if right now in this room we said, "Hey, if we could gather, um, you know, $300,000, Oprah is going to showcase all of us on her social media, open up her Rolodex and, a...
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[S1] Right. [S2] Hundreds of millions of dollars, right? [S1] Right. [S2] Because we know the value of Oprah is so obvious that it's just illustrated in the way she navigates. And so whenever I'm not getting paid as much as I want as a speaker or someone trying to undervalue me, I ask myself, "Have you illustrated your...
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[S1] That is a business. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Do not give that shit to your friends for free. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Because you will start to resent them. [S2] Yeah. [S1] For them wanting to, for, you know, them kind of taking you for granted. [S2] Yeah. [S1] No, you're taking yourself for granted. [S2] Yeah. [S1] So people are g...
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[S1] I can't quit my job. [S2] Yeah. [S1] I advocated and they gave me a small amount, but it's not enough. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] You also talk a lot about, well, what else can you do? Is there side hustles? You mentioned it as part of your story. This has always been part of my story on the side as I was climbing out of d...
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[S1] Um, so what are some of your favorite side hustles that you recommend for folks that are like, okay, I, I don't need to go out on the weekend. And if I'm working on my side hustle, I'm both making money and I'm not consuming and spending more money. So what are some high side hustles that you like? [S2] Well, one,...
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[S1] You know, it's like, "Oh, I'm a teacher." Like, who doesn't want a preschool teacher babysitting? I don't have to get regular pay. [S2] Yeah. [S1] You know, I can increase my pay. And then two, um, what do you do at your current job so there's not this additional learning curve? [S2] Oh. [S1] That's huge because n...
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[S1] I can tutor. I teach all day. [S2] Yeah. [S1] You know, when I was teaching preschool. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Babysitting. The kids love me. I'm, I'm such a, you know, I'm, this is what I can do. And so that was a perfect side hustle for me, you know? And so say if you were like, um, I don't know, like a, maybe you work ...
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[S1] ... a home health aide or something like that, or, you know, maybe organization is something. You're like, you know, I'm a- already helping people in their home get their things together, and I love orga- or- organizing, I can do that. You know? It's important to do the math before you jump into it, because some s...
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[S1] And so is the math gonna math? You wanna make sure whatever side hustle you choose, that you do the math ahead of time. You know, that if you are gonna invest, let's just say you're a really great baker, you know? If you are gonna invest like, um, and maybe you're gonna, uh, invest time and energy and money into l...
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[S1] ... than before, you know? [S2] Yeah. [S1] So just being mindful, like, make sure that the math makes sense. Get things that are aligned with, like, what you're already doing and what maybe you have a certificate or a degree in so you could get paid more. [S2] Well, I love that. Any final parting wisdom? [S1] I'll...
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[S1] The cars paid off. I like our car. His thing was always, 'cause I have a stepdaughter, Alyssa, he would always be like, "Well, if Alyssa's good and you're good, I'm good." [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] You know? And it took for him passing away to make me realize that- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... it's enough. Like, I have enough. I...
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[S1] Yeah, he just, I just, it's a lot, it's, the loss is great, but not just mine, you know what I mean? [S2] Yeah. [S1] And so, like, I'm just have, so blessed to have experienced that kind of love. I was loved so, so, so well, that even without him being here, that love still resonates, like, through me and around m...
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[S1] We're really fortunate that we have you. Thank you for sharing that. [S2] Thank you. [S1] You're welcome. I, um, I feel very grateful that you are now my friend. [S2] Thank you. [S1] Thank you. And the thing is, is that when you don't understand money,
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[S1] And you were going to make me cry. When you don't understand money and you're really scared about where you are, it clouds everything that's important. [S2] Yeah. Until it comes crashing in your face and you waste it. Like, you know. [S1] And you spend all your emotional energy in that shame. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And y...
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[S1] Yeah. Because it can, like, you know, there's so much joy to be had, even if you don't have, like, it's, if you don't have enough for your basic needs, obviously, that's really hard. But for many people, that's actually not the case. [S2] Yes. [S1] You know, that we are making ourselves sick and unhappy from a pla...
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[S1] You know, your parents want to see you, you actually have enough. And it's not going to be until they're gone that you're like, "Oh, I wish I would have," you know? [S2] Yeah. [S1] And so, like, I'm fortunate that I, something in me, I mean, I believe in a divine power. Like, and a year and a half before Jarell pa...
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[S1] No, no. And I believe in your ability to change your life. And so, um, if you want to do that together. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] [LAUGHS] I don't know if I'm going to get through this, but, you know, and in case, um, nobody else tells you as you're listening to us, I wanted to say, I love you. [S2] I love you, yeah. I lo...
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[S1] And, uh, we believe in you. [S2] In your ability to change your life. [S1] Absolutely. And Tiffany just gave you all of the information and tips and tricks and strategies that you need to go do it. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So go do it. Whew! Oh, my gosh.
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[S1] Do you even know what's happening in your body and your brain when you consume alcohol? I don't. [S2] It impacts our behavior, our sleep, our mood, and many other parts of our body system. [S1] When a lot of people make a cocktail at home, it's like glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, and there's three shots right there...
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[S1] Yeah, so, I mean, the way alcohol that we drink happens is through a process called fermentation. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So, um, something that has sugar, like grape juice, or if you think about, um, beer, you know, barley, or potatoes, or other, um, often starches are fermented, and in that transformation process they...
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[S1] And so early on, there were lots of studies showing that low risk drinking or moderate risk drinking were actually healthy. [S2] I think I remember something about like, a glass of red wine is really good for you, the antioxidants. I don't know if that's the red wine lobby telling us that. [S1] Yeah.
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[S1] ... that. [S2] Yeah. [S1] One criticism of those, um, studies showing that low-risk drinking is healthy is that the group that is often used as sort of the comparison group are people that don't drink at all. But it turns out that many people who don't drink at all may not be drinking because they have chronic hea...
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[S1] used infrequent drinkers as the sort of control group or the comparison group. And I think that's really helpful to understand the data that way. Um, there was a really big study actually this year that looked at hundreds of thousands of people that had been surveyed since the 1990s all the way through the mid, um...
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[S1] Breast cancer is one that's strongly associated with alcohol use. [S2] Wow. [S1] And so factoring that in as you're making your decisions about alcohol is really important. [S2] Um, what is it about the molecule of alcohol that increases your risk for cancer?
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[S1] and they would be okay. But there is a point where you cross a threshold where you can no longer repair the damage, and that's when you get to a stage called cirrhosis. So from fat deposition, then you start getting scarring. Your body lays down all this scar tissue because of the chronic inflammation in your live...
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[S1] Wow. How does alcohol impact the kidneys? [S2] So alcohol, one of the main effects that people have probably experienced is it makes your kidneys less sensitive to a hormone your body produces, um, called ADH or anti-diuretic hormone, and so you pee more. So if anyone's ever noticed that when they drink, they sort...
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[S1] Yeah, I think it is important to understand sort of what are the risks that we often don't talk about and assume that this is, you know, harmless thing that's just a part of life. My personal perspective is that every health behavior exists on a spectrum. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And it's really understand, uh, important...
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[S1] drinking alcohol? My opinion is that we shouldn't be thinking of it as a health benefit. So I would never, as a doctor, say to a patient, "I think you should start drinking a glass of wine a day for your health." [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] We used to, people used to say that, you know? Again, this idea of a glass of red w...
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[S1] ... the safest thing would be to do none of it. [S2] Right. [S1] So if your goal is to have zero risk, you should probably never drive your car, never go skiing, you know, never fly in an airplane, never eat bacon, never go out in the sun, and people aren't going to live that way. So I think it's really important ...
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[S1] But I love what you're saying, which is you need to wake up and understand what your motivators are and what you actually care about in this moment in your life. And if you care about producing more at work or being more present or reaching your potential, you got to look at the role that alcohol is playing in you...
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[S1] ... that we're not even aware of what the serving size truly is. Because when a lot of people make a cocktail at home, it's like glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, and there's three shots right there. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Or you've had a number of big glasses of wine, which basically mean you have had all seven glasses of w...
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[S1] Yeah, and I think there's so many important points buried in that. So first, we all lie. I tell my dentist I floss every day. I don't. We want people to like us and approve of us. So I sort of expect people will lie to me, especially if they don't know me. [S2] Right. [S1] And for most people, because of the treme...
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[S1] That is powerful. Now, Dr. Wakeman, where I want to pivot to next is I'm starting to see this picture where as a researcher and a renowned expert on this topic, that you are talking about kind of the big risks that can happen. I want to focus a little bit on amplifying the day-to-day impact- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... ...
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[S1] Yeah, this is, I think, an area of growing research and understanding. And I think people are really interested in sort of drinking during menopause as well and what, you know, what are the, what, what to think about all of that. Um, a couple things. I think many of the symptoms that people experience during menop...
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[S1] Yeah, and people may be surprised to hear that 'cause it makes you fall asleep quicker. [S2] Yes. [S1] So often people are like, "Oh, alcohol helps me sleep 'cause I fall asleep so quickly." But when we think about sleep architecture, there's different cycles to sleep. People are probably familiar with like REM sl...
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[S1] ... causing a hangover. [S2] Why is anxiety one of the biggest kind of symptoms of a hangover, an alcohol withdrawal? [S1] Yeah, it's probably the effect of these byproducts that then, you know, are still impacting your, the way your body functions, your brain, and it takes a long time for your body to excrete the...
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[S1] When you really stop and think about the roller coaster you're putting your brain and your hormones and your body through, like it does make you pause. And that's kinda, that's what I wanted to do with this conversation, is to make you stop and think about what's actually happening. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And the reasons...
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[S1] ... take, uh, someone who's in their 50s, who really shouldn't have volume loss in their brain at that age, but if they've been using alcohol at a very heavy amount for a long time, we'll often see their brain looks like a much older brain, um, because of that shrinking. And then there are very extreme examples li...
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[S1] and they're drinking. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And so I really wanna hear your advice about what specific things you should do and what mistakes we need to avoid when there's somebody in our lives that we're concerned about. Like how do you approach this? What's the best way to bring it up? What is the worst? And by the wa...
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[S1] I think people have heard these notions of, like, tough love, enabling, hitting bottom. Those are probably the biggest fallacies. So, for people who aren't familiar with those concepts, the idea that tough love is that, like, you really should make things hard on a person, that, that if, if sort of consequences pi...
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[S1] Now, it's complicated because you're impacted by their behavior. [S2] Yes. [S1] So it's very easy as a provider, one of the things I love about doing this work, 'cause I've been on the other side and had family members, and it's a different experience. As a doctor, like, whether or not my patient continues to drin...
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[S1] that it's not doing it for the person's benefit. So if you kick someone out of your house, it's not going to necessarily help them get better, but there may come a time and a place where people need to do that for their own emotional safety or well-being. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Um, but for that human being, to help som...
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[S1] ... role in someone's life, you need to fill up those spaces with other things. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] I think our sort of Puritan roots as a society is we have this idea that like, you're doing something bad, you need to just pull yourself up by your bootstraps and knock it off and white-knuckle it and, and in fact, l...
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[S1] are part of the person's journey to ultimately getting well. [S2] Um, if you're the one that really just wants to cut back. [S1] So if you're listening and you want to cut back on alcohol use, I think first figure out your why. [S2] How do you help them figure out their why as it relates to their relationship with...
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[S1] ... relationship in your life. [S2] I thought I knew a lot about this topic, and it just goes to show you, there is always something new you can learn. So I have another question, Dr. Wegman. What is your message to someone who is struggling with their relationship to alcohol? [S1] Yeah, I think I'd like to just t...
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[S1] We were living our lives, managing our stress, managing our weight, doing all the things. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And then all of a sudden, you can't put your finger on it, but something's changed. [S2] That's exactly what everybody says.
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[S1] Please share this with every single woman that you know, because what you are about to hear will change your life and hers. Without further ado, please help me welcome Dr. Haver to the Mel Robbins Podcast. [S2] Thanks for having me. [S1] Thank you. [S2] So excited to be here and share all things menopause. [S1] Yo...
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[S1] In, you know, our nurse practitioners, much about menopause care outside of the most cliche of symptoms and how to manage them. We're going to live a third of our lives like this. [S2] A third of our lives- [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] ... like this? [S1] A third of your lives. And, you know, after reproductive options are t...
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[S1] I'm not gonna be able to reach that goal. [S2] So why is it that there is so little information about hormone changes and menopause and you go to your doctor and it's sort of like, "Oh, well, you're gonna deal with this for about 10 years," and then, you know, that's just the way that it is. What, what is up with ...
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[S1] We get 94,000 articles. We only get 10% of the funding. That means 10% of the brainpower, 10% of the research for the last third of our lives. And, you know, we do live a little bit longer than men, but we're going to spend 20% of that in poor health, in decline, in disability. And this is avoidable. [S2] I hear t...
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[S1] ... to hell with that. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] I'm, I wanna live a good life. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] I wanna feel like I can go to the gym, I can play with grand babies, I can roll on the floor, I can climb a mountain, I can run a company, I can do all these things. And I'm not, I'm refusing to just accept the medical defin...
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[S1] about 10% of our egg supply. [S2] Well, hold on a second. By the time you're 30? [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] You've already lost 90% of the eggs that you were born with? [S1] That's correct. [S2] I don't know why I never knew that. I, I, I kinda feel sorta dumb that I've gone through 55 years of my life and I did not know t...
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[S1] Wow. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And you lose your period because you have no more eggs, so there's no more need to go through that cycle. [S2] You can't ovulate. So, yeah. There's nothing left. [S1] Holy cow. [S2] But doesn't it make sense?
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[S1] There's nothing left. [S2] Holy cow. [S1] But doesn't it make sense now? [S2] Of course it makes sense. [S1] Why it's harder to get pregnant when you're older, why you're more likely to have a chromosomal abnormality, you know, because the number and quality of your eggs is declining with age. What happens for fem...
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[S1] But I've never understood this before. Because when you really just put it in the context of you're born with a million eggs. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And from the moment you start your menstrual cycle and the hormones are going up and down, there is a purpose associated with the design of your body. And once that stops,...
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[S1] ... hell? [S2] People are studying it. Um, you know, it, when we look at OB/GYN, the residency- [S1] Yeah, and that's what you are, right? [S2] ... Women's health. Yes, I'm OB/GYN, women's health. Super proud of what I learned in my training. [S1] Right. [S2] Pediatric gyne- you know, gynecology, oncology, surgery...
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[S1] Okay. [S2] And testosterone and progesterone. You know, like we were, we were living our lives, managing our stress, managing our weight, doing all the things. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] And then all of a sudden, you can't put your finger on it, but something's changed.
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