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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408040 | [S1] You know, anxious people, you'll see them be vulnerable, vulnerable, vulnerable. Other people aren't responding and they're still pushing vulnerability, where secure people are like, "If you're not responsive to this, I'm gonna become less vulnerable." They tend to look for relationships with other people that are... | 27.24 | 3.375321 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408040.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408042 | [S1] Why, Dr. Franco, do attachment styles matter? [S2] Mm. Yes. So our attachment style really impacts how we give and receive love, and thus our ability to build healthy relationships with other people. [S1] Wow. Does everybody have an attachment style? | 22.4 | 3.35175 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408042.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408043 | [S1] Yeah, we all have an attachment style. It's basically like, um, we all come into new relationships which, with a set of assumptions, and those assumptions define our attachment style. [S2] Okay. So can you give me, uh, we know that you, the four attachment styles we've already talked about, secure, avoidant, anxio... | 28.28 | 3.205727 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408043.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408044 | [S1] Doesn't go as, as deep. Whereas, um, anxiously attached people, their memory, they tend to mis- remember things and remember things as more negative than they actually were. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Um, so that's really interesting quirk, attachment theory in memory. But, you know, back to your major question, which was,... | 20.8 | 3.030457 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408044.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408045 | [S1] ... Imagine it would be harder to say, "I'm avoidedly attached and I've had these struggles in the past." Um, but- [S2] So if you were, if, I have a- [S1] Yeah. | 6.56 | 3.05931 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408045.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408046 | [S1] ... trying to depend on this one avoidant person to meet all of your needs. The more that your needs are met elsewhere, the more you can be flexible with the person that's more avoidant, right? [S2] Hmm. [S1] So the more that I feel like in another relationship makes me feel secure, another relationship I can be v... | 27.84 | 3.262336 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408046.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408047 | [S1] Does it hurt the person who's avoidant when they ghost? Is that contribute to shame or is that just a way to just kinda, you know, 'cause I, you, we- [S2] You know, yeah. [S1] Sorry, go ahead. | 11.48 | 3.31456 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408047.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408048 | [S1] ... person is like clinging, clinging, clinging, right? And, and it's almost like reflexive. They're not acting with intention anymore. They feel like they're almost kind of hijacked. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And the avoidantly per- attached person's also very hijacked, but instead it's to pull away, pull away, pull away... | 22.24 | 3.042676 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408048.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408049 | [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] But Dr. Franco, can we talk to the person who's listening right now, who just had a visceral, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] No, I'm serious because I- [S1] Yeah. [S2] I- I think that for people who are already like, "Yeah, I- I'm sick of being hijacked by my emotions,... | 29.04 | 3.461885 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408049.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408050 | [S1] ... taught you that you shouldn't and can't trust people, right? [S2] Yeah. [S1] And that your own behavior of opting out because of your attachment style has only reinforced that. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Because you're never stepping toward people. How on earth do you begin to change this if you've never experienced this... | 20.88 | 3.482905 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408050.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408051 | [S1] Dr. Franco is about to go. Okay, I'm turning this off. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Um, we're talking to you. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And for everybody who has somebody in their life like this, and I'm glad you said the, the piece about the research showing that women tend to be more anxious and men tend to be more avoidant. And th... | 29.48 | 3.255439 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408051.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408052 | [S1] I think I'm avoidant. [S2] Yeah. [S1] I don't like to talk about my feelings. I don't have a lot of friends. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Other than the person I'm dating or family connection, I don't have this kind of intimacy in terms of emotional support. | 17.48 | 3.533809 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408052.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408053 | [S1] One other thing I would love to add, um, in my own experience, and then you can talk about it, Dr. Franco, clinically, is just seeing that my husband is now very clear that he was not only suppressing his emotions, he was numbing them with a daily weed and alcohol habit. [S2] Yep. [S1] And- [S2] Yeah, you can defi... | 23.16 | 3.366697 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408053.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408054 | [S1] There might be one person in your life where you're less avoided with them. [S2] Mm. [S1] Because of how safe they make you feel. So could you be a little bit- [S2] Is there enough- | 11.08 | 3.114592 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408054.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408055 | [S1] Is there another word for safe, Dr. Franco? So, you know, if somebody's kinda new to clinical or therapeutic language, um, and you're avoidant or disorganized, but there is that one person- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... that in our world we're talking safe, but if you're avoidant or disorganized, what, how would you descr... | 28.44 | 3.461091 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408055.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408056 | [S1] Destroying this relationship and getting revenge. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And it's fundamentally 'cause the insecurely attached person d- is not aware that it's possible to express yourself vulnerably and get your needs met. Really, they think, you know, either I'm not talking about this at all, or I'm gonna have to att... | 27.32 | 3.118617 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408056.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408057 | [S1] One of the things that I love about learning about attachment styles is it feels like it's another lens or framework through which you can view your relationships and not make them so personal. You know what I mean? [S2] Yeah. [S1] Like we tend to look at | 17.52 | 3.412484 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408057.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408058 | [S1] I, I need to earn their love. If they give it freely, I, you know, I'm not attracted to that. Or if someone's t- totally secure and available, they're like, "You're just not feeling it," right? 'Cause they, they confuse them being triggered with them being in love. They confuse- [S2] Oh. [S1] Yeah. [S2] Can we tal... | 23.16 | 3.111981 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408058.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408059 | [S1] It's, uh, interesting 'cause as you're talking, I'm also thinking, boy, you see this play out in friendships too, all the time, which is, of course, you know, what your book is about, that, you know, people collect best friends, best friends, and then all of a sudden, within a year, now they're collecting a new be... | 22.88 | 3.461384 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408059.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408060 | [S1] Some simple takeaways. You've already given us one, which is to start to notice how you're feeling. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And you've talked about giving yourself the assurance and the kind of love and comfort that you need. But what are some other tools that people can use starting today to, to begin the process of bu... | 27.2 | 3.368099 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408060.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408062 | [S1] Those are some signs that you've like found a secure person. And the secure person, whether in friendship or in romantic relationship, what's gonna happen is like they're gonna keep treating you in a way that's counter to this internalized set of assumptions that you have, this internalized template. And over time... | 29.4 | 3.291259 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408062.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408063 | [S1] Can I see if some of these are examples? So like when a friend comes over for dinner and they bring cinnamon rolls. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Knowing that they brought you something, a small gesture like that, acknowledging that that is a moment, that's something like that. | 18.72 | 3.320715 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408063.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408064 | [S1] Absolutely. But it can even be so small as like, "Oh, my friend sent me a voice note today. They care about me." Or, "My friend commented on my picture that they like it." Like, like, like practice, make it a practice to receive love. Like that's really what I'm getting at here. Um, receiving love is not easy. Um,... | 22.88 | 3.261177 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408064.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408065 | [S1] Mm. This is a recent breakthrough for me. Like it's only, it makes me really sad, Dr. Franco, to know that I'm 54 and that I would say it's only in the last two months that I've noticed how much I stonewall love. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] That I'll pour it out | 19.48 | 3.506549 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408065.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408066 | [S1] I block actually receiving it. And so I've started visualizing, um, galley doors in a kitchen, you know, that swing back and forth. [S2] Yeah. [S1] As a tool to help me catch myself when I'm the one putting up. | 14.12 | 3.40324 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408066.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408067 | [S1] ... the wall and not receiving those gestures that are in your life every day. A, a stranger smiling, uh, you know, a leaf falling from a tree in the shape of a heart and it's beautiful, or your pet greeting you. Just these moments where love can blow into your life. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And how much I was not even r... | 21.16 | 3.413348 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408067.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408068 | [S1] Well, Dr. Franco, thank you. Your work is an act of love for all of us. [S2] Aww. [S1] And, uh, I will tell you that I love you for spending the time with us and pouring into us. And, uh, thank you so much because I feel like this is a really | 18.12 | 3.417917 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408068.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408069 | [S1] Mm. Thank you so much, Mel. That is so beautifully put. It's been a fascinating, amazing, revolutionary conversation. [S2] Well, I can't wait to have you back. [S1] Thank you. | 11.88 | 3.16549 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p14_m4-dialogue_0408069.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818749 | [S1] You must protect your energy from the things that drain it. You must protect your mind from the things that distract you, and protect your soul from the things that no longer fulfill you. So without further ado, please help me welcome my friend Trent Shelton to the Mel Robbins Podcast. [S2] What up, Mel? How you d... | 27.6 | 3.444267 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818749.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818750 | [S1] I mean, it's been a long journey, you know, just with a lot of stuff, so. [S2] Well, you've changed a lot of lives, Trent. And one of the things that you always say is you say that the number one thing that stands in the way of creating a more positive life is that so much is robbing you of your peace. [S1] For su... | 25.92 | 3.306023 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818750.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818751 | [S1] somebody's true loyalty to you. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So I love to say, when a benefit ends, that's when the loyalty stops. And so if you're drained, if you're empty, if you're always questioning things, if you're not fulfilled, you don't have peace in your life, that means the people around you aren't right. And some... | 24.8 | 3.398416 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818751.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818752 | [S1] I can already feel the person that's taking a walk with us right now or listening in their car going, "Oh, God." [S2] Yeah. [S1] I, I have, I know exactly who you're talking about in my life, Trent. I wanna go a little bit deeper because I personally think, Trent, that so many of us go through our lives and we're ... | 29.8 | 3.414307 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818752.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818753 | [S1] ... that, that was probably a tipping point where you're like, "Wait a minute. There's a lot of people that were around me when they could say they were friends with somebody in the NFL." [S2] For sure. [S1] But now that I'm not doing that, is that what you mean by benefits? And can you help somebody that has neve... | 28.4 | 3.425109 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818753.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818754 | [S1] When you say no, that's when you will see how somebody really feels about you. And if no changes the relationship, then I would like to say that relationship wasn't real in the first place. So when I started saying no, aka the benefits, "Hey, nah, I'm gonna go out to dinner tonight. Nah, we're not going to the clu... | 27.6 | 3.314645 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818754.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818755 | [S1] ... the position that I had in your life. So no longer can I be the person that you can use. No longer can I be the person that allows, uh, non-reciprocation, meaning that if I give it, I expect to receive it. [S2] Yeah. [S1] If I'm giving you support, I expect you to give me some support in some type of way. It d... | 29.72 | 3.432796 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818755.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818756 | [S1] You gotta look at your life and say, "Okay, I need to change these people's position in my life." It doesn't mean that you kick them out your life and remove them, but sometimes you have to learn how to love people from a distance. [S2] Mm. [S1] And that's hard. [S2] Very hard. [S1] But I have to do that, and that... | 17.8 | 3.273773 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818756.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818758 | [S1] ... or that chapter of your life, but when you start to prioritize your health or some side hustle, that the position changes. Wow. What's one of the hardest things that you've had to do as you've started to realize, "Wow, like this person's only in my life because they're used to getting something from me that I ... | 24.72 | 3.398727 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818758.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818759 | [S1] So many time, think like, which time? Um, but I would have to say, I learned this in high school. Once I, and it's hard sometimes, Mel, when you're the person that is the success out the group. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Even in high school, I had a group of friends, and obviously we all wanted to make it, Division I footb... | 28.6 | 3.322262 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818759.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818760 | [S1] One of them, he would try to talk to my girlfriend behind my back. I'm like, "Come on, bro." [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Right? And... | 5.76 | 2.833871 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818760.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818761 | [S1] You know, in listening to this story, I'm gonna share something because I think a lot of you listening will see yourself in Trent, that you are working side by side with a group of people. And I think this happens in a lot of instances. You're going for Division I with dreams of making it to the NFL and being a pr... | 27.32 | 3.430358 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818761.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818763 | [S1] You can't be friends with the person that wants your life. And as a human, it's natural, I feel like, to have an emotion of jealousy a little bit. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] But when jealousy turns into envy, I think that's when it becomes a problem. [S2] Yes. [S1] I always say envy is jealousy unchecked. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1]... | 29.48 | 3.261872 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818763.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818764 | [S1] ... the life that they have. [S2] Yeah. [S1] When you don't know what they suffered through, what they've been through, when you don't know how much work that they put in, and you start to feel like their blessings are meant for you. I call it counting people's blessings. It's almost like counting someone's pocket... | 29.84 | 3.281453 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818764.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818765 | [S1] And what he was saying was, if you're around a group of friends that aren't the athlete, that aren't successful- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... guess who's gonna be in the paper? Not them, you. [S2] That's right. [S1] And so, at a young age, I understood that. But you gotta be careful for those people that really want your l... | 18 | 3.169985 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818765.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818766 | [S1] That's powerful stuff right there. 'Cause I don't think we think about that. Like, I'm, I'm the kind of person that goes through life thinking everybody has the best intentions. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Even though I know that when I was much younger and I hadn't done the work that I've done, that | 14.52 | 3.49024 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818766.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818767 | [S1] You can be friends with a person that's a terrible person. You know, birds of a feather flock together. As much as you want to say, "No, I'm not like them," or, "I'm not like that," if you hang around it, the perception, and people say, "Oh, perception doesn't matter." It does matter to an extent because there's s... | 26.04 | 3.263065 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818767.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818768 | [S1] And so, there's times in my life where I knew opportunities didn't come to me, not because I was a bad person or a bad kid, it's because I was around an environment that scared those opportunities away. I'll say it like this, Mel. [S2] Say it. [S1] Don't be friends with somebody that you wouldn't want to trade pla... | 19.68 | 3.395171 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818768.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818769 | [S1] Well, you know that, that, uh, quote that they say that you are the average of the five people you hang around with. I actually don't think it's the average. I think the lowest common denominator in that group is what everybody sings to. [S2] That's right. [S1] And that doesn't mean that you shouldn't be compassio... | 19.76 | 3.399043 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818769.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818770 | [S1] Watch how they treat the people who can't, who, who can't do anything for them. So I'm always looking at not how you treat me because especially when you're in a position, they're going to treat you a certain way. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] But I watch how you treat other people that cannot do a thing for you. I watch how ... | 25.96 | 3.303673 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818770.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818771 | [S1] That's true. Um, I also love what you're saying about, you know, you said this thing about not trading places with somebody, and I want to make sure that as you're listening, what Trent's talking about is character. [S2] That's right. [S1] That character is where you really need to focus because that's where you'r... | 29.84 | 3.389697 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818771.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818772 | [S1] He is always talking about ideas. He's talking about his family. He is talking about business. He is talking about dreams. He is talking about the impact. And one thing that I really value in a friendship is somebody that does talk about ideas and their family rather than talking about other people. [S2] Yeah. [S1... | 29.68 | 3.470198 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818772.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818773 | [S1] Yeah, so, [SIGHS] this one's deep. There's obviously obvious enemies. [S2] Okay. [S1] You know, and honestly, I respect those. I respect the people who I know don't like me. I do, I respect it. I respect the people online that say, "Tren, I hate your guts." I respect it because at least I know where you stand. Now... | 27.72 | 3.40635 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818773.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818774 | [S1] When you give something you're excited about, trust their energy. Are they excited? Do they change the conversation and make it about them? Do they put more doubts in your life? Do they put more fears in your life? Do you get information that they're talking about you behind your back? [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Like they'... | 22 | 3.295538 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818774.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818775 | [S1] Because I like the words, I'm proud. But at some point, there should be actions. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] I'm having events for free. You're in the city. Have you ever listened to the book or the podcast? You ever liked the post? So if you're that proud of me, like you say, it would show in some form or fashion. Not sayi... | 28.56 | 3.215619 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818775.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818776 | [S1] Doesn't come from familiar faces. And it's okay. Sometimes, as I say, God will place stranger in your life to take you to higher places. And I have to realize that. And so, with these enemies, the obvious ones are the things that do all these things behind your back. [S2] Mm. [S1] But it's the ones that you feel t... | 18.72 | 3.222018 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818776.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818777 | [S1] Yeah. I, um, think you tend to notice that in periods where you're changing and growing. Because whatever it is that you're changing and growing and doing in this next chapter of your life, the person knows they're not going with you and it's confronting to them. [S2] That's right. [S1] Like I've had very similar ... | 22.4 | 3.206549 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818777.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818778 | [S1] Every one of your best friends began as a stranger. [S2] That's right. [S1] The person that you're dating and married to began as a stranger. And I think a lot about this test. I wonder if you use this test. | 11.64 | 3.368618 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818778.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818779 | [S1] It's easy for me to share what's going wrong with people. But I am highly selective about who I share wins with. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And it's made me realize that my circle of people that I truly trust is so small because there aren't a lot of people that I feel | 24.48 | 3.270618 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818779.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818780 | [S1] I'm afraid at times it makes people uncomfortable. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And it changes someone's viewpoint of who you may be. But I do know not celebrating your wins | 12 | 3.260223 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818780.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818781 | [S1] As I would say, just in a prison, in what you're doing. And like you said, that should tell you a lot about who you're around. If you can't talk about your wins, like my best friend, I can talk about any win, and he's happy. He's hitting me up before I even know certain things. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] You know what I m... | 24.04 | 3.070937 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818781.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818782 | [S1] But I do know this is true and maybe you can relate. When my circle got smaller, my vision got clearer. [S2] Mm. [S1] Less became more. Jay-Z says it best in one of his songs, he said, "You know, there's not many of us." And he said, "But still, there's plenty of us." Because sometimes it's the bigger the circle, ... | 22.56 | 3.254405 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818782.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818783 | [S1] I don't believe is shown in numbers. Strength is shown in loyalty. You can have a million people, but if you have 10, 20 loyal people, that's all the strength that you need. So don't, you know, be afraid that, "Oh, I don't have a lot of people." It's okay, because you can always grow. But I know that's changed my ... | 24.4 | 3.319814 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818783.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818784 | [S1] Not only going deep, but talking about how your life has changed by thinking about a smaller circle that's aligned energy and mindset and vision wise. And for those of you that are listening, particularly in your 20s. [S2] Yeah. [S1] You know, you're gonna be 40. [S2] [LAUGHS]. [S1] I'm 55. I'm like, I can't belie... | 26.64 | 3.38086 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818784.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818785 | [S1] I think this is something that you learn with age. [S2] Yes. [S1] That in your 20s and in college, everybody like, roams in packs and big groups. And as you start to get a little bit older, you start to see and experience the wisdom in what Trent is saying. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And that there is so much power in findin... | 25.92 | 3.443733 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818785.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818786 | [S1] are vibing at the same energy and that are aligned in terms of vision and mindset. And, you know, I wanted to just share a little bit because I bet you have some wisdom on this too, to really pull apart reasons why people that are closest to you may struggle with being happier for you. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And being ... | 25.52 | 3.489958 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818786.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818787 | [S1] is somehow robbing me of my success. [S2] Yeah. [S1] That their happiness or their good relationship, I kn- I couldn't see it in that darkness as an example that it was possible for me. And, you know, I wanna dive a little bit deeper into why people that love you can really struggle with supporting you. And, you k... | 28.52 | 3.463778 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818787.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818788 | [S1] I'll say this off top. In my life, when I got cut from the NFL, that was the lowest. [S2] Okay. [S1] Like, I was a hater at that point in my life. Like, I didn't want to see anybody win. It was everybody else's fault. It was my parents' fault for not making me fast enough, right? It's everybody's fault. I was find... | 27.64 | 3.247739 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818788.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818789 | [S1] Sometimes we think the best way to heal our pain is to give pain. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And for me, if I can make people feel like I feel, then I'm not lonely no more. Misery loves company. So your happiness, it offends me because I'm not happy because I feel I deserve that life. So when I was at home and watching Pey... | 29.68 | 3.258258 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818789.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818790 | [S1] You haven't. [S2] You don't have time for it. [S1] You don't have time for it. And so, that was my issue, that I was not happy. I lost something that I truly cared about. I felt like my life was over. And so, what do I do now? I'll just bring other people down to join my misery. And so, I had to look in the mirror... | 27.32 | 3.246639 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818790.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818791 | [S1] If you're not happy with your own life, how could you ever be happy for someone else? You can't give what's not inside you to give. [S2] It's so true. What turned it around for you? 'Cause you're literally like the most positive dude I know. [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] I mean, everybody's hanging on every word. 15 million ... | 27 | 3.144999 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818791.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818792 | [S1] How would you coach somebody to take that wisdom around regret and apply it to themselves right now? Somebody who's, you know, 22, graduated from college, or maybe didn't go to college, and is like, "I, I don't even know what to do with my life." Like, how do you harness the future you to come into this moment and... | 27.96 | 3.3627 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818792.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818793 | [S1] ... the future you is coming. [S2] For sure. [S1] Whether you like it or not. [S2] It's coming. [S1] And if you're listening to this, here's what I know about you. You actually do want to be better because you're listening to something and you're spending time with me and Trent because you know that Trent has figu... | 28.4 | 3.380461 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818793.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818794 | [S1] Unclear communication puts unfair expectations on somebody. [S2] What does that mean? [S1] That means that some of you are expecting a change from somebody without communicating. You're expecting somebody to be something for your life, but you haven't communicated it. Somebody might be disrespecting your boundarie... | 28.64 | 3.26884 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818794.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818795 | [S1] It's kind of like when you have a birthday party. [S2] Right. [S1] You're sending the invitations. You can't control if somebody comes or not. If they don't show up, don't complain about that I moved on or I had, we had fun and you didn't show up. This is what I'm doing with my life. I'm no longer living like this... | 29.68 | 2.970857 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818795.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818796 | [S1] You clearly communicate what you expect from them. It's up to them if they want to live up to that title or not. [S2] I love that. I, I, I love the focus on, I'm not gonna live in regret. I'm gonna grow into my fullest possibility. There was a moment where you were about to sound off and you paused. [S1] [LAUGHS] ... | 26.32 | 3.417546 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818796.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818797 | [S1] You were like talking about two weeks ago. You're like, "I'm going somewhere." [S2] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. [S1] And I was about to, "Mm." [S2] Well, I was about to put some information out there, probably from two weeks ago, that, you know, I want to protect the conversation. [S1] I, I respect that. [S2] You know. ... | 15.84 | 3.27518 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818797.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818798 | [S1] There you are proving your character. First of all, your ability to stop yourself and your ability to say with class that, "I'm just not going to talk about that." [S2] That's right. [S1] "That's a boundary for me." [S2] That's right. [S1] And I respect that. And that's important for you to both see that happening... | 20.32 | 3.417493 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818798.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818799 | [S1] Because that's what you need to do. [S2] Yep. [S1] That's what you need to do in your life. Um, how do you handle situations where you stood by somebody, but when you needed them, the favor was not returned? [S2] Some deep questions. So, | 20.76 | 3.535449 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818799.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818800 | [S1] I'll start by saying this. I do believe that we are put on this earth to be used in a way of helping people, in a way of growing people, in a way of certain times being there for people. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] But I don't believe we're put on this earth to be misused. | 19.16 | 3.051831 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818800.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818801 | [S1] My next question. Every one of us wants to know the answer to. How the heck do you develop rock solid principles that are aligned with you? Because what you just said, I think, is the secret to creating the life that is meant for you. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And aligning that life with what you value and with really what ... | 28.08 | 3.268364 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818801.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818802 | [S1] And this notion that you're loyal to your principles, not loyal to people. 'Cause I hear exactly what you're saying. I mean, especially those of us that are parents, we use that. [S2] Right. [S1] Come on now, after all I've done for you. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Right, with our children. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] All right, Mo... | 27.64 | 3.414927 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818802.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818803 | [S1] Every time. And every time that I didn't ignore my principles and I stood on my principles, it didn't make sense at first. Sometimes I immediately regret, like, "Dang, I'm missing out." [S2] Right. [S1] But down the line, I'm saying, "I'm glad that I chose to stand on my principles." So what do you need in your li... | 26.4 | 3.207499 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818803.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818804 | [S1] You know, one thing I want to acknowledge you for is that we were going to do this interview a couple months ago. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And I got to give you a huge shout out because Trent texted me, um, that week and was like, "Mel, Tristan, your son had this opening football game. I am not going to miss it." And bei... | 22.84 | 3.531635 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818804.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818805 | [S1] You can reel back your own emotions and you can step back into both making decisions for yourself. And I also think this ties back to you being actually a very good supportive friend. Because when you're in your power and you are making decisions based on your principles, you're not letting those emotions rise up ... | 28.88 | 3.348493 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818805.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818806 | [S1] Pace. What does that mean? [S2] Yeah. Um, you're a runner, right? [S1] I used to be. [S2] Okay, so you know what a pace set is, right? [S1] Yes. Yes. It's very bad. Like I've- | 8.96 | 3.45695 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818806.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818807 | [S1] Yes, yes, it's very bad. Like I, I'm very slow. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] I, I'm actually famous for, I ran the New York City Marathon which abun, with, with a bunch of girlfriends, and then we went and ran the one in Houston. And we were just doing it to kinda get away from our spouses 'cause we could disappear to trave... | 27.84 | 3.456531 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818807.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818808 | [S1] That's exactly what I'm saying. You're loyal to your pace. So a pace setter is somebody who sets the pace. Often in Olympics, you might see somebody run out in front and they set the pace and they drop off. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And what I've seen, and I wanted to touch on this, 'cause you had talked about, you know, ... | 29.68 | 3.332338 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818808.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818809 | [S1] But it's not another opportunity to see his first eighth grade basketball game. That's a moment. So I think about that. Like, I can create other moments, but I can't get this moment back. And me losing so many people in my life, I understand the value of moments. [S2] Yeah. [S1] But being loyal to my pace simply m... | 18.28 | 3.227971 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818809.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818810 | [S1] So if you've ever seen somebody run a race and they're trying to keep up with the next person, and they're trying to do what the next person's doing, they burn out. That happened to me plenty of times in half marathons with friends. I'm trying to keep up and I don't finish because I am trying to run a pace that is... | 26.32 | 3.294494 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818810.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818811 | [S1] I doubt it. [S2] So some people, I might look like a, a cheetah, and that's okay. But the pace works for me. The pace keeps me from burnout. The pace keeps me in my peace. And so I think a lot of people out there, their pace setter is scarcity. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] Their pace setter is comparison. Their pace setter i... | 28.76 | 3.286487 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818811.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818812 | [S1] Is it your confidence? If confidence is setting the pace, it's like, okay, they're doing that, great for them. But I'm confident in myself that I will get to my finish line when I need to get there. So that's something I wanted to share because it's something that's really changed my life and my journey and me bei... | 29.68 | 3.213283 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818812.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818813 | [S1] ... that she's going to figure it out. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And I think this is a very common thing, whether you've just gotten a divorce or you've been laid off, or maybe you started a career and you now, oh my God, don't know what you want to do 'cause it's definitely not this thing, that you can start to panic and n... | 21 | 3.553113 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818813.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818814 | [S1] But how do you, so like for somebody who's like, "Trent, I want that so bad, Trent." [S2] Yeah. [S1] "How do I do that, Trent?" Like how do I, if I'm feeling like I'm spinning out of control and I've made all these bad decisions or I don't know how, how do you even begin that process of internal alignment and trus... | 22.72 | 3.46635 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818814.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818815 | [S1] But I stopped trusting my plan so much. I trusted my plan that I would have to adjust at some point. I trusted my first steps. And if my first steps didn't go right, I trust that there was something bigger for my life. So that's the internal alignment- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... that I talk about. It's a knowing in you... | 27.44 | 3.313898 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818815.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818816 | [S1] is what breaks through the darkness and the lack of hope. [S2] I call that soul momentum. [S1] Soul momentum? Ooh, that's a good term. [S2] Yep. Soul momentum. 'Cause momentum, as an athlete, I know how powerful momentum is. It's the invisible force that changes everything. And I fall in love with possibility. Wha... | 26.76 | 3.329195 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818816.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818817 | [S1] But most people, again, we look at the external, we say, "Oh, well, me just getting out of bed, it's not gonna change anything." And that mindset will never serve you. So, you know, create some meanings in your life that serve your soul and control what you can control and pray about the rest. [S2] You know, in yo... | 20.48 | 3.179698 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818817.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818818 | [S1] Oh, man. So- [S2] And you're laughing, so I'm like, uh-oh. [S1] I wasn't gonna call it know your worth, but I feel like this year, or just in my life and everybody, I feel like we need to be unapologetic some more and actually demand your worth. It doesn't mean that you're kicking in the office door and say, "You ... | 20.32 | 3.247965 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818818.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818820 | [S1] But if you were coaching somebody who does not have the faith that you have. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] But that really is like, but where do I even begin in terms of demanding my worth for myself? What are some small steps that somebody could take, Trent? | 13.96 | 3.452744 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p150_m4-dialogue_0818820.mp3 | [
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