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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130601 | [S1] And so after a week of crying in your rental car in the parking lot at QVC, you were like, "I'm going with the knowing." [S2] I'm going with the knowing. [S1] And so tell us about that first appearance. You're standing there on a television set. There's a bazillion cameras. The lights are bright. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Y... | 27.32 | 3.331623 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130601.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130602 | [S1] I remember literally I wore two pairs of Spanx, Mel. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Not 'cause I cared how I looked, but like, I was so freaked out. Like my hands were shaking and I was sweating through my clothes. So I had on double Spanx under my dress and I remember the moment the, the camera went live, right? And there's ... | 29.8 | 3.390016 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130602.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130603 | [S1] the second. Your clock, you might think you have eight minutes still to go, and your clock will jump to one, or jump to two minutes left. [S2] 'Cause your product's a flop. [S1] Yep, exactly. [S2] And you're a flop. So you literally are racing against the clock to be successful out of the gate. So what did you do ... | 18.76 | 3.384565 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130603.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130604 | [S1] Yeah. [S2] What did you do? [S1] So, so I, first of all, I go out of the, you know, I, I go live. I remember it was like 9:59, 9:58, 9- and I'm like, "[GASPS]." And I remember I had practiced in my bathroom mirror, right? So many time- If I had known the high five habit then, I would've been way more confident. [S... | 15.16 | 3.497866 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130604.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130605 | [S1] But I was practicing in the bathroom mirror, this demonstration a million times on my wrist, how our concealer doesn't crease and the best two-selling concealers crease. And I'd done this demonstration like this where I show it and they all start to crease. So I'm holding my wrist up, trying to do this as we go li... | 24.96 | 3.300612 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130605.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130606 | [S1] Yes. [S2] ... that she's sweating through her two pairs of pangs, Spanx. [S1] Yes. [S2] And her wrist will not bend, so she cannot demonstrate that her product won't crease. [S1] Yes. And the host grabbed my wrist and was like, "Thank you, sugar," and she took over. [S2] [GASPS] [S1] And then I remember my bright ... | 27.72 | 3.303123 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130606.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130607 | [S1] Do you, did you take, so when did you take your makeup off? When she grabbed your hand and said, "Thank you, sugar." [S2] Yeah. [S1] Yeah. [S2] Did that wake you up or were you like- [S1] I, well, I didn't, it was like out of my body. I was just praying. [S2] So do you, did you like just then take your makeup off?... | 12 | 3.008284 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130607.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130608 | [S1] Well, they did a whole bare face before shot of me for that show. [S2] Oh. [S1] I have t- I've taken it off live a million times since. [S2] Okay. Okay. [S1] That first show, it was like, yeah, bare face before shot and then the after, um, and I remember walking over to the- I remember we were, gosh, six or seven ... | 29.88 | 3.362525 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130608.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130609 | [S1] Um, sold out sign came up across the screen, and I start crying. A national television- [S2] Oh, I love you. [S1] ... they cut from me and went to, like, Dyson vacuum or something. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Um, and I remember my husband came rushing through the double doors of the studio, and I, and, and, and, and he's, ... | 29.88 | 3.292194 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130609.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130610 | [S1] No one can tell you you're not the right fit. No one. And you can get all the nos in the world, but you have your knowing and, and, and, and by the way, I believe this, Mel, I believe even when you trust your knowing and then it seems like it was wrong and things don't go your way over and over and over, like I lo... | 28.4 | 3.322153 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130610.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130611 | [S1] If he, I was so desperate that if he would've invested in us then, I probably would've given him the majority of the company for almost no money. [S2] Right. [S1] Right? By the time, many years, six years later, after that day, six years later, when, um, L'Oreal bought this little company and started my living roo... | 27.32 | 3.157534 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130611.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130612 | [S1] It felt like it wasn't fair. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Um, and I can look at that in many scenarios. Sometimes we don't have some big positive outcome, but we learn a purpose through a no. [S2] Right. [S1] Right? We learn a calling through a no. Um, we learn a lesson. We build strength. We build resiliency. We appreciate ... | 26.28 | 3.48049 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130612.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130613 | [S1] I have not seen him. Uh, the day that we- [S2] Of course I ask the petty question. I'm like, have you ever, like, seen him to, like, tch, twist the little knife in their own- [S1] So, so, uh, I heard from him one time, ever again, and it was six years later, the day that L'Oreal announced the deal. So because they... | 28.96 | 3.263007 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130613.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130614 | [S1] That's kind of surprising. 107 years, L'Oreal, a makeup company, you're, it's t- it took them that long to have the first female CEO of a brand? [S2] I hope they have many more now. That is my prayer. [S1] Yes. [S2] Yeah. | 12.56 | 3.325471 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130614.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130615 | [S1] Yeah. [S2] You were, you were the trailblazer there too. [S1] It's, uh, it's been, yeah, so many things. It's been a journey. And here's the thing, Mel, it was another woman inside L'Oreal. It was Carol Hamilton, who was head of luxury for North America. She'd been there, gosh, 30 plus years, and she championed fo... | 25.16 | 3.193479 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130615.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130616 | [S1] And that was the first time and only time since that I heard from that potential investor. [S2] And what did he say? [S1] He said, "Congratulations on the L'Oreal deal. I was wrong," is what he said, and wished me the best of luck and, uh, uh, so- [S2] That's a big deal to admit. | 15.32 | 3.290555 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130616.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130617 | [S1] you're wrong. [S2] It is. Um, and, uh, and so when you speak about petty, so I, what I did say to him was, "Thank you." But what I wanted to say, [LAUGHS] like if- [S1] [LAUGHS] What did you want to say? [S2] So in that moment, here's what I thought about. I, I thought about, um, do you remember the movie Pretty W... | 24.04 | 3.145531 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130617.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130618 | [S1] Yes. [S2] So I wanted to say to him, "Big mistake." [S1] Huge, huge. [S2] I could give you 1.2 billion reasons why it was a huge mistake. Um, but I didn't. I wouldn't have wanted to be him in that situation. You know, we probably would have been one of the most successful investments in his firm's history, you kno... | 27 | 3.289848 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130618.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130619 | [S1] You know? [S2] There's another one, everybody. Rejection is God's protection. [S1] Yeah. [S2] It's a good way to frame it. And I think when you look in the rear view mirror, you know that all the rejections you've faced, especially in relationships, were there to protect you. I think the true thing that you've tau... | 26.8 | 3.199357 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130619.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130620 | [S1] ... true power and, and grace and grit and belief is about seeing that in front of you. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Not behind you. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] That the, the rejections that you're facing right now, that you can look ahead and realize it's protecting you in this moment. Um, I had like a couple other questions that I w... | 27.32 | 3.222409 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130620.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130621 | [S1] And you also have made a huge difference in, uh, women's lives around the world because you are extraordinarily philanthropic. $40 million worth of product and monetary donations, um, to people that are struggling with cancer. And what is next for you? [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Because you are, right now, | 28.24 | 3.274788 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130621.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130622 | [S1] In the middle of figuring out on this next leg of the journey called life, what your purpose is. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And what your next thing is going to be. | 12.88 | 3.32777 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130622.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130623 | [S1] What tools are you using or how are you thinking about it? And it's really important topic because so many people, particularly after the last three years, have had a profound life change thrust on them. [S2] Yes. [S1] And they're looking ahead at an open road wondering what their | 22.08 | 3.406517 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130623.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130624 | [S1] purpose is going to be, what they're going to do. Can you just speak to that person for a minute about how you're going about figuring it out? [S2] Yeah. So one thing I just want to, um, remind everyone too, Mel, 'cause I think people put so much pressure on themselves that their purpose has to be their job. [S1] ... | 28.6 | 3.357349 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130624.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130625 | [S1] health coverage, and we need that paycheck. And, and, and your purpose can be found in the things you do outside of that, right? There's a lot of ways, uh, to listen to that knowing in your gut and, and, and then when it feels right, you know that's aligned with, with who you're born to be- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... a... | 29.96 | 3.225402 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130625.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130626 | [S1] Could I go launch a bunch of businesses? Yes. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Right? Um, and what I feel drawn to is, is, is literally, 'cause here's the deal. Yes, I've built a billion dollar business. Yes, I have other companies I invest in. [S2] You also are married and you have two beautiful children. [S1] Yes, a two-year-... | 24.68 | 3.356837 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130626.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130627 | [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] Well, and here's the thing, is like, that's all part of my story. But when I, when I, when I look at my real story, it, it, it, meaning the part that ties deeply to my purpose, like my real story is a girl who went from not believing in herself- [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] ... to learning how to. And so when I ... | 29.64 | 3.372636 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130627.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130628 | [S1] seeing women, helping them see themselves- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... and believe in themselves and believe they are worthy and enough. And that's what makes, like, that's what fires me up every morning. So when I think about what I'm stepping into next- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... um, you know, I wrote Believe It, um, which i... | 25.44 | 3.17347 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130628.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130629 | [S1] Hold on, hold on. Um, let's just underscore that. So she writes a New York Times bestseller, donates all the proceeds from the book. [S2] Yeah. [S1] To nonprofits. Just donates them. [S2] Yeah, and the book is just, um, from- [S1] It's incredible. | 15.64 | 3.389156 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130629.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130630 | [S1] It's like a little manual that you should have on your bedside table, 'cause Jamie will be smiling at you. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And you'll see that you're not alone, that we're in this together. And her example of learning how to go from doubting herself to believing in herself is the journey that each and every one of... | 21.92 | 3.367702 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130630.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130631 | [S1] If somebody kinda has a sense that there's something more, but they don't quite have their, they haven't had that aha moment yet that you had almost 14 years ago sitting on that television set. [S2] Yeah. [S1] I'm gonna make makeup and I'm gonna bring real women and I'm gonna show my skin and I'm gonna solve this ... | 27.44 | 3.323469 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130631.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130632 | [S1] Yeah. Two things. One, waiting for it to be perfect can be the lowest vibration, big, biggest excuse. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Uh, number one reason why people just never try and never get started. So I don't think, I think it's rare to ever have complete clarity, like, "This is exactly perfect for it." And that's why, y... | 29.88 | 3.359461 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130632.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130633 | [S1] You know, he, he was saying something to me recently about, you know, almost like when you're about to aim a, a bow and arrow and you're about to let go of the arrow, he's like, "You can aim and, and turn it and twist it a few times before you let go of the arrow. It's okay to wait a little bit and just make sure ... | 29.48 | 3.273828 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130633.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130634 | [S1] Feels amazing. [S2] So does this mean you- [S1] I love you. [S2] ... you're gonna do a talk show? [S1] [LAUGHS] Maybe, maybe. You could, you could teach me all the ropes, Mal, and then, um, yeah, but- [S2] Partly. I am a failed talk show host. [S1] Uh, okay, there, n- don't even, you are- [S2] That is true. [S1] T... | 25.4 | 3.054265 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130634.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130635 | [S1] I think our steps are ordered. Why? I think because you are gonna own all of what you're doing and make it so much bigger than anyone else who owned it could have made it. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So, uh, by that definition, I think you're the most successful talk show host. That's the first thing. Um- [S2] At least in t... | 28.32 | 3.232792 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130635.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130636 | [S1] Um, and, uh, and I love too, that you can do this show on your terms. [S2] It's true. [S1] Right? You can do it on your terms and that's why it is so huge 'cause it's on your terms. | 11.16 | 3.358981 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130636.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130637 | [S1] Well, like you, and maybe this is one of the reasons why we have become such dear friends in such a short period of time. And I often say on this show that I truly believe that the best years of your life and the best friendships that you'll have are on the road ahead. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] But a lot of the reason why... | 27.24 | 3.33806 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130637.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130638 | [S1] People's lives that are just got their head down and they don't feel very seen or heard and I want to make them know that they have it within them to tap into this incredible power inside them to create whatever they want in life. [S2] Yes. [S1] And it starts with believing. [S2] Yes. [S1] That you can. And having... | 24.68 | 3.145651 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130638.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130639 | [S1] You know, on that topic of friendship, I love so much that you are the friend that people need to your audience. Like, and, and what I mean by that, and I'm honored to be the friend for this episode with you, to everyone. And, and what I mean by that, Mel, is I think you and I love each other for who we authentica... | 24.72 | 3.299358 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130639.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130640 | [S1] help pull each other into who we're becoming. [S2] Yes. [S1] And I think so often, and that's why I love, um, and, and your show also, as you know, of course, but I just want to call it out, that your show can be this for people who feel like, "How do I find those friends that pull, help pull me into my future?" B... | 29.88 | 3.437501 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130640.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130641 | [S1] ... important because we're talking about purpose. [S2] Yeah. [S1] To try and, and, and add friends to your circle who, who truly want the best for you. Not just what they think is the best for them in you, but like want the best for you. And you do that for me. I do that for you. [S2] Yes. [S1] This show, your sh... | 23.28 | 3.427513 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130641.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130642 | [S1] Um, I wanna just highlight one final thing, and then I have a surprise to tell, um, you listening to us right now. Yes, we have a surprise for you. It's really exciting, with Professor Purpose over here. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Um, [CLEARS THROAT] and I, I, I'm having like a menopause moment where like the drawbridge i... | 29.28 | 3.111883 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130642.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130643 | [S1] Everything you say is- [S2] ... order this. [S1] ... for them. [S2] Hardly. Hardly, but I appreciate you saying that. Um, I think one of the things that I've learned, and it took me a long time to learn this, is that there is so much success and happiness to go around. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] And when you lift other peo... | 21.48 | 3.241205 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130643.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130644 | [S1] ... that, um, your success comes faster and it's richer. [S2] Yes. [S1] Both emotionally and in terms of monetarily. And, um, I just remembered what I wanted to say, and it's this. And it goes back to purpose, it goes back to that knowing and staying connected to your intention and this unique thing that you have ... | 25.88 | 3.444083 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130644.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130645 | [S1] Your knowing is yours. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And you have to stay connected to it, and you have to keep describing it or advocating for it or explaining it to people so that they can see it too. And it's not until you demonstrate what you see in your own heart and mind by continuing to walk toward it, continuing to talk... | 29.24 | 3.277023 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130645.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130646 | [S1] Because it's your knowing. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Not theirs. And so in a weird way, a ton of nos or a lot of friction or bumping up against things as you're trying, you can't understand, "Why don't people get this? Why isn't this working?" It's because it's your knowing, not theirs. | 14.48 | 3.319312 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130646.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130647 | [S1] Amazing. Okay, so the surprise. [S2] Okay. [S1] So my, Jamie Kern-Lima has just given you a frickin' master class. She put you in the seat next to her as we have driven down a 15-year journey in her life. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And just insight after insight after insight. And I'm really excited because Jamie also want... | 29.24 | 3.471005 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130647.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130648 | [S1] Just go to the comments and in all caps, and we will put this in our, um, description below, in all caps, just say, "Question for Jamie. Question for Jamie." [S2] I love it. [S1] And we are going to consolidate all of your questions and we're gonna have Jamie back. | 20.8 | 3.373895 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130648.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130649 | [S1] That is why I love you. [S2] I love you. [S1] You're just the frickin' best. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] And in case nobody else has told you, I wanna just make sure that we end by saying that I love you. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] I know Jamie does too. | 15.08 | 3.25175 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130649.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130650 | [S1] Yeah, I love you also. And, um, and you're worthy of your greatest hopes and your wildest dreams and all the unconditional love in the world and, and your purpose and worthy of grace. You know, the grace that you want to give yourself on this journey. And we're all in it together. That's the beauty and power of yo... | 28.24 | 3.372877 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130650.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035547 | [S1] What is it? [S2] So my work really is about identifying avoidance and overcoming avoidance. That is it. [S1] Why do we need to do that? [S2] Because avoidance is rubbing us from our past life. It's keeping us prisoners of our own thinking and our own behavior, and that keeps us in our own mental jail. [S1] I know ... | 24.8 | 3.281807 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035547.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035548 | [S1] And she says to me, "Do you see that gentleman there, the elder gentleman? Let's go talk to him." And my stomach melt dropped. I was like, "No, I'm not talking to him. What are you talking about?" Like, you know, that anxiety in your, pit of your stomach just- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... turning? And I was like, "I can'... | 27 | 3.118946 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035548.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035549 | [S1] Right? It's robbing us from our lives and no one is talking about avoidance. I'm so glad that you caught on to that, Mel, because that's right. Like, people are talking about the fevers. That's how I think about. [S2] The fevers or fears? [S1] Fevers. Like- [S2] Fevers? [S1] Fevers. That's- [S2] What do you mean b... | 24.24 | 3.358225 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035549.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035550 | [S1] That's actually the opposite of what you should do. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Because if you are scared that you're gonna have a panic attack at work so you don't go to work, you're making the anxiety bigger than you. Avoiding that thing or avoiding the situation that may happen makes the fear bigger. [S2] That's exactly ... | 18.88 | 3.500999 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035550.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035551 | [S1] Right. This is a great example of this person because the instinct, and it's biological, right, is to go away. So you start to worry about having a panic attack. I've worked with lots of people that have panic attack. And so your work, you have this horrible panic attack, and then your brain basically now is sayin... | 29.8 | 3.295276 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035551.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035552 | [S1] But then if you take a whole week out of work, then what are you doing? You're basically trying to take away anything that is potentially going to trigger anxiety. But the minute you step out of your house, you can't avoid for long. [S2] Right. [S1] You're going to come out with a baseline anxiety so high, that no... | 29.4 | 3.176042 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035552.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035553 | [S1] Just do it, the way Nike tells us to do. [S2] Right, right. [S1] Doesn't work with anxiety. You can't tell somebody that's having panic attacks, just go work, right? But can you drive towards work? So you're not gonna work for a week. Okay, I'm with you. [S2] Yep. [S1] Okay. | 11.72 | 3.192278 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035553.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035554 | [S1] I, I've been in this boat too. [S2] Right. [S1] Where the anxiety's been so debilitating that I, I've actually had anxiety so bad that it built and built and built and built up inside me when I was a second year law student, that I convinced myself that there was no way that I could get on a plane. | 21.08 | 3.396421 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035554.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035555 | [S1] and go to Albuquerque, New Mexico, where I had landed a summer job, and be able to live and work on my own. And I... Talk about avoidance. I called that law firm and told them that I had had a family emergency. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And I had to not come. This was two days before I was supposed to get on the plane. [S... | 24.36 | 3.549862 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035555.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035556 | [S1] I wish I knew you then because see, there's two pieces of avoidance that we were talking about. They were beautiful, right? The first one is the perception of threat, right? You've flown many times before in your life, but now your brain convinced you that that flight was a threat, a perceived threat. It's not a r... | 19.52 | 3.394275 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035556.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035557 | [S1] The long-term cost of avoidance, the prices that you pay. Think about this. You did not go in a summer internship that I bet you worked really hard, Mel, to get. [S2] Yeah. [S1] I, I imagine that was like a big ticket. And your brain, just in that moment, said, "Playing equals lying, not gonna do it." And then we ... | 26 | 3.300685 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035557.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035558 | [S1] After my grandmother forced me, I started to think about life. There's two things she did for me, actually. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Let me just add the second one. So one was push me to approach instead of avoid. The second one was at 16, she gave me The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho to read. [S2] Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. | 16.44 | 3.191313 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035558.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035559 | [S1] I'm sure you've read the Alchemist, right? [S2] Yep. [S1] And she did it because the narrative in my brain was, you know, growing up poor, single mother, my mom fighting so hard to get us somewhere. And I should tell what everybody listened to is my grandmother was not really my grandmother. She was the mother of ... | 26.44 | 3.363316 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035559.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035560 | [S1] I really don't know what's going to be in my life. You know, I want to eventually pursue a medical degree or I want to do this, but my mom is never going to be able to pay for college. So what happened? And the alchemist shifted my perspective. [S2] How? [S1] It was this idea, well, there's a sentence in the book ... | 26.36 | 3.090684 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035560.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035561 | [S1] Just maybe I could do it. That maybe I could, by approaching and changing the topic. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And eventually I became an exchange student. I came to the US. I spoke no English. It was disastrous in the first six months. And then I, I wanted to stay. My stepdad is like, "You know, you have to go back to Br... | 22.8 | 3.20259 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035561.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035562 | [S1] And every step, I have to tell you, avoidance will knock on the door. So when I tell my story, people are like, "Oh, it's so incredible, so bold." No, I'm scared shitless a lot of the times. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] It's the bottom line. And I wanted to avoid when I was at SUNY Buffalo. | 14.6 | 3.319339 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035562.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035563 | [S1] 100%. And I remember that time, I was like, "You know what? If I don't apply," I remember my grandmother, "If you don't try, you don't know." And so I applied. And, and so I shared this in the spirit of like, we can't get rid of anxiety. I know everybody wants to, but we can't. What we can get rid of is avoidance.... | 27.24 | 3.371176 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035563.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035564 | [S1] Can you believe this? [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] No, I, I, I just don't, I want you to know this. It means so much to me. Like, it's just, the ten-year-old, I have tears in my eyes. A ten-year-old me would not believe that I'd say, "Jumel Robbins," I mean, you're such an icon. You inspire so many. You, I've seen you fight... | 25.68 | 3.328934 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035564.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035565 | [S1] Thank you. It does feel that way. You know, it's, it's interesting. For the last 10 years, I've spent all this time in Mass General taking CBT out of the ivory tower in the streets. [S2] Okay. What does that mean? [S1] So I, I create a program that I work with community organizations where I train paraprofessional... | 29.8 | 3.502462 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035565.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035566 | [S1] program that we can get an entire organization to cool off and apply skills in everyday. So this young man, I'm not going to talk to therapists like me, right? But they are going to talk to their peers. [S2] Yes. [S1] And if their peers knows the brain, knows how to regulate it and can teach them skills, | 18.04 | 3.391183 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035566.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035567 | [S1] We actually had a, a story of a young man that didn't shoot somebody. [S2] Wow. [S1] Decided not to shoot somebody because he basically paused and said, "If I shoot somebody," he reframed it. He said, "If I shoot this person, I'm back in jail like my father and my grandfather." [S2] That's incredible. [S1] Can you... | 29.72 | 3.413649 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035567.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035568 | [S1] That's incredible. I want to back up a second and talk about CBT. [S2] Let's do it. [S1] So for anyone listening that's like, "CBT, is that the, is that that like non-high marijuana stuff? No, that's CBD." [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] "CBT." You, you're the professor in this. Explain what CBT is. [S2] Cognitive Behavior The... | 27.44 | 3.381028 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035568.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035569 | [S1] and how we feel. [S2] Can you explain to everybody the sequence of what happens? Like, what is the order? Is it like that something happens outside of you, you have a sensation, then you act, or you have a th- Like how, what is the chain that we want to become aware of if we're going to apply the skills you're goi... | 20.24 | 3.328153 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035569.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035570 | [S1] Absolutely. So any kind of situation, I woke up, my brain started to spin and basically said, "What if Mel Robbins doesn't like me?" It was the first thought I had this morning. I have to just be honest with everybody listening. [S2] Sure. [S1] No, I mean, the anxious brain never quiets down, right? And so that th... | 29.8 | 3.020455 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035570.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035571 | [S1] ... this sequence. Well, it depends on the entryway. For me, it was a thought. [S2] Yeah. [S1] She's not gonna like me. [S2] Yeah. [S1] It'd be anxious, and then I wanted to behave a certain way. But they ping-pong, right? If I laid in bed a little longer, I bet it would have gone this way. | 13.04 | 3.226559 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035571.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035572 | [S1] Right. [S2] Wow, okay. [S1] We, we need, whenever the anxiety happens, this is a trick that I can share with everybody, that you can use and you can do it right now. How do you pause, is the question, right? | 9.96 | 3.395002 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035572.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035573 | [S1] Take a piece of paper and literally write down your thoughts, link them to your emotions, link them to specific behavior. What do you want to do? And this is why. What we know scientifically is that writing activate the prefrontal cortex. [S2] Hmm. [S1] The prefrontal cortex, the part that helps us organize, execu... | 20.88 | 3.354088 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035573.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035574 | [S1] Let's take the example of being afraid to go into work. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] That you are worried that something's gonna happen. Your boss is gonna be a jerk or you're gonna have a panic attack or you're gonna screw up that huge, uh, sales meeting that you have. And so you have that feeling of just, I- I need to, lik... | 28.24 | 3.481874 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035574.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035575 | [S1] ... things here. The first one, I would write down the specific thoughts, right? [S2] Okay. [S1] Um, a lot of our anxiety is fed through what we are saying to ourselves. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Right? We started to have heart pounding. We've been talking about heart pounding. If I came home from the jog and my heart was... | 24.4 | 3.015825 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035575.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035576 | [S1] That's all it is. [S2] True. [S1] So we pause. Okay. I'm gonna mess up the sales meeting. Right? Right? I'm gonna, I'm gonna eff it up. That's what I'm gonna do. Okay. Once we pause, then we wanna be able to ask questions of our thoughts, right? Let's interrogate. Let's become lawyers together. [S2] Okay. [S1] Wha... | 28.92 | 3.264689 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035576.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035577 | [S1] 100. [S2] 100. Okay, so based on that, what's the probability that you're going to mess it up? [S1] 2%. [S2] 2%, okay. So maybe you are going to mess it up. There's 2% chance. Um, if you mess it up, what is the worst that will happen? [S1] Um, I'll be embarrassed. [S2] Mm-hmm. Have you been embarrassed before? [S1... | 26.96 | 3.487097 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035577.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035578 | [S1] When was the last time they fired you? [S2] Uh, they haven't fired me. I'm still employed. [S1] Oh, really? That's amazing. So maybe they'll fire you, but sounds like the probability is small as well. [S2] Yes. [S1] But there is a small probability. [S2] Yes. [S1] Now, has anybody in this company ever been fired o... | 19.24 | 2.973548 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035578.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035579 | [S1] Well, they've laid people off, but I don't think, not that I know of. [S2] It, it sounds to me like your brain is basically saying, "I'm gonna be embarrassed, and then they're gonna fire me on the spot, and I'm gonna be humiliated, and I'm gonna be in the corner all along." [S1] Yes, which makes me want to avoid i... | 24.88 | 3.194015 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035579.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035580 | [S1] So what can you say to yourself based on your performance in the past that might change the narrative in your brain right now? [S2] Ooh, um, that I've been nervous before and I've shown up and done a good job in the presentations. [S1] And when you say that to yourself, how does it feel? [S2] Like I don't believe ... | 27.16 | 3.471387 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035580.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035581 | [S1] ... upon you. [S2] And when we just start to change our perspective, shift our thinking- [S1] Yeah. [S2] ... we don't believe right away because there's so much history of the anxiety-driven thoughts. So I don't need you to believe it. What I need you to do is be able to say that to yourself over and over again, a... | 23.96 | 3.234036 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035581.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035582 | [S1] That's so true. That is so true. Can we unpack avoidance? [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Because it's not just an anxiety response. [S2] No. [S1] Like, I'm thinking about the number of conversations that people avoid, the number of situations that people avoid, uh, the number of experiences that people want to do. Like, I, I c... | 28.64 | 3.403846 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035582.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035583 | [S1] But you're avoiding something. [S2] Oh, yeah. [S1] So, talk to us about what avoidance looks like, what are surprising, uh, kind of symptoms or ways that people avoid things. [S2] I'm definitely going to talk about avoidance in a second, but before, I wanted to commit to go skydiving with me. Come on, Mel. We can ... | 26.72 | 3.404305 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035583.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035584 | [S1] So the only reason I went there is this. So I learned I had a fear of heights, hiking Yosemite National Park. I had no idea. My whole life I just said I didn't like roller coasters. [S2] Right. [S1] You know, I wasn't avoiding roller coasters, I just didn't like roller coasters. [S2] Yep. [S1] Who needs to go on r... | 28 | 3.108055 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035584.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035585 | [S1] So could you go back to Yosemite now and be with those cables? [S2] I, 100%. [S1] 'Cause what I always used to say is, I'm not afraid of heights, I have this feeling that I'm falling. [S2] That's exactly what fear heights is. [S1] And that's what I don't like. | 12.56 | 3.357569 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035585.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035586 | [S1] But that's, that's just biology, Mel. That's just biology. And it's the same biology behind avoidance. So, so you asked me about avoidance. So avoidance is anything that we do- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... or don't do- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... okay, in response to a perceived threat that is designed, so there's a perceived thre... | 23.84 | 3.168708 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035586.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035587 | [S1] Huh. [S2] So let me, let me unpack this for us. [S1] Please. [S2] I call it the three R's of avoidance. You either retreat, react, or remain. Okay? So if we retreat, what do I mean by that? It's what you're doing about skydiving. You have this thought and you're like, "I'm just gonna move away." Retreating is movi... | 29.88 | 3.2023 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035587.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035588 | [S1] that. We retreat by not having conversations with people. We're not ahead. We are thinking, we are ruminating, right? We're moving away from discomfort. [S2] Mm. [S1] For some of us, avoidance is reacting. That's how I avoid. Whenever something threatens me, perception of threat, an email about somebody that I don... | 27.24 | 3.157038 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035588.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035589 | [S1] I can't believe you said that, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and I press send. And then I'm, like, stuck on email jail because now I just reacted without thinking. And that's avoidance, right? I'm avoiding discomfort. [S2] I don't know if I understand that. So, so, so I understand the retracting. [S1] Mm-hmm... | 22.36 | 3.302539 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035589.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035590 | [S1] I'll give you several examples. So reacting as a form of avoidance, something happens and you have this comfort. Okay. Give an example. Dan Harris, I was just recording with him last week and he, he gave a great example, personal example. He said, you know, whenever I feel threat, the way he reacts with anger. [S2... | 22.96 | 3.397693 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035590.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035591 | [S1] ... that you're like, "Ah!" And- [S2] That's it, because you, your dog barking is creating some discomfort in your body. That discomfort in your body, basically, you have to attack the discomfort so you feel better, right? Responding to email, anger, um, grabbing a drink too fast. Have a bad day and you're just go... | 26.84 | 3.466619 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035591.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035592 | [S1] You know, and it's funny, we can slice and dice the hours of avoidance, but like you're basically trying to move a, moving towards discomfort and, and, and reacting, right? Versus retreating, you're moving away. [S2] Gotcha. [S1] Let me do the third one and then we can unpack a couple of examples. [S2] Okay. [S1] ... | 22.8 | 3.465252 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035592.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035593 | [S1] What you do have are moments every single day where your emotions get triggered and you're uncomfortable. [S2] That's it. [S1] And what I'm gathering from this conversation is that your work is really about creating a baseline of people of emotional peace. [S2] That's 100% it. [S1] That when you are uncomfortable,... | 28.16 | 3.388887 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035593.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035594 | [S1] 100%. It, it, it, it's like we're, it's, it's, I love that you said it's a lie. It is a lie because the discomfort that we feel facing things is so much less than this monster that we create in our head of what they would be like. I bet when we go sky diving, you come off of that plane, you're gonna be like, you k... | 29.88 | 3.418513 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035594.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035595 | [S1] liberating to overcome a fear. [S2] That's true. [S1] It's like, and, and you're right. Like once you're out of that plane, the discomfort, and, and you feel some fear jumping out, but then all of a sudden your whole system quiets down and you're like, "Oh my God, I'm living my best life." And that's what I wish f... | 28.36 | 3.340301 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035595.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035596 | [S1] We're biologically wired to avoid. So the brain is amazing, right? It, it does, it, it cannot differentiate real threat from perceived threat, right? Our brain's wired to do what? To predict and protect. That's what our brain is doing. It's protecting us from danger, and it's predicting, and it's predicting based ... | 29.88 | 3.258846 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p74_m4-dialogue_1035596.mp3 | [
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