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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p6_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p6_m4-dialogue_0371435
[S1] ... to back. [S2] Yeah. [S1] The, the data now needs to be collected. That's, but we've now also, but we've forgotten about the, the, uh, the truth teller. The truth teller that is a profound child in the, in the narcissistic environment. This is the kid who sees it and gets it. And they don't have a vocabulary fo...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p6_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p6_m4-dialogue_0371436
[S1] And almost through the equivalent of almost like, um, excommunicating them, like putting them in the cheap seats. And ultimately, like I said, scapegoating them. And then every so often, there's the brainwashed child who thinks the narcissistic parent is just great and doesn't see it even into adulthood. [S2] Wow....
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[S1] ... Romney. You are unbelievable. Thank you for my personal therapy session. [S2] [LAUGHS] It's funny how that happens. [S1] Oh, my gosh. Um, I learned so much and I think there were a, there were a number of things that really stood out to me. Obviously, you can't change the weather in Chicago. That's relieving. ...
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[S1] is at the core of someone who's, uh, a narcissist. And that helps me distance myself by feeling a little empathy. I know that's weird, but the empathy's kind of tied into the guilt a little bit. Like I actually feel bad. I wish this person were happy. [S2] Yeah, and I think that the- [S1] Or are they happy? 'Cause...
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[S1] One thing that so many survivors are afraid of, like, "Ah, they're narcissistic," it feel, it feel so dismissive to them is, "I don't want to lose my empathy and my compassion." [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Empathy and compassion doesn't mean you hang out and be someone's emotional punching bag. Empathy and compassion means ...
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[S1] Mm. That's beautiful. The other thing that, that I learned in this episode that was incredibly helpful, and I'm sure it was helpful for everybody else, is the moment that you said, when we role played about the calling. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] You know, like, I haven't heard from you in a while. That idea that they're n...
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[S1] ... me, I'm great. I need you to come over and I need to feel like, look at me, I've got a big family. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Not that they care about the people in the family, it's just like, look at everyone around the table. This is my family. Like you're a thing. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] You know, versus human beings who ...
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[S1] ... some rest. I love you. Like, Thanksgiving is about that we care. [S2] Wait, people do that? [S1] Yes, they do. And, uh, and, and again, those are our agreeable folks. But no narcissistic person's ever gonna do that. And that, imagine that that was your reality, that someone's like, "Hey, you need to do what fe...
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[S1] Which is why you also experience a lot of rage, right? Okay. This has been so amazing. Now, uh, when we let our audience know that we were gonna have you on, uh, the comments, the forums blew up with questions about dating and work. And so we're gonna have you back. We gotta do part two of this conversation. [S2] ...
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[S1] I'd say the, the best first stop is our YouTube channel, my YouTube channel. [S2] Will you tell them the URL? [S1] So it's...
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[S1] I love that because here's the thing, everybody. She's the world's leading expert in this. And I know that we've spent a lot of time talking about narcissism and understanding it so you can spot it, so you can get some distance from it, so you can understand the biggest takeaway she kept saying, it's not about you...
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[S1] Absolutely amazing. You are a complete gift. [S2] Thank you. [S1] Thank you for all of your wisdom, your time, your expertise, the tools, the learning today. It's just, every time I spend time with you, it deepens my healing, it makes me smarter. Um, I just love having you in my life, so thank you. [S2] Thank you ...
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[S1] In case nobody else tells you today, I love you. Uh, Dr. Ramani loves you too. [S2] I do. [S1] We believe in you and we believe in your ability to not only create a better life, but to heal from the things that are painful in your life. And we are both here to support you, so thank you for spending your most preci...
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[S1] There's no question because, you know, you have those friends in your life that you don't see very often. But every time you do, it's like no time has disappeared and you just have this like, kinda twinkle on your skin because you just love being with this person. I love you so much, Jamie. I'm actually mad at you...
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[S1] And I love you and I'm just grateful to be here for you. [S2] Wow. [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] Okay. [S1] Just that. [S2] I think the episode's over now. [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] Now we gotta go back in time because, you know, I think one of the reasons why I wanted to have you on is because the entire mission of this show is to...
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[S1] ... to take the simple steps that sometimes feel impossible, to pursue your dreams, to improve your health, to create greater connections, to believe in yourself. And Jamie truly is not only the professor of purpose, but her life story is a demonstration- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... in cultivating belief. Belief in your...
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[S1] ... belief in your intuition, belief in God, belief that things will turn out. And so I want to go back in time because, you know, I've heard you on the stages that you speak around the world, talk about how you started as a waitress in Denny's. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And then from waitressing at Denny's pursued a drea...
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[S1] I would love to start there. [S2] Mm. Yeah, waitress at Denny's, um, full uniform name tag to prove it. [S1] Oh, I forgot they had uniforms. [S2] Oh,
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[S1] ... a uniform, uh- [S2] What was your favorite thing on the menu? [S1] Oh, gosh. I love the pancakes. You know what? Just, like, simple. Um, it's so funny how our steps are ordered, I think, in life. [S2] Mm. [S1] And so often, I remember being a waitress at Denny's. I remember feeling, and, and maybe, um, maybe s...
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[S1] at the Denny's I worked at was a disaster. Like they would take an hour to get pancakes out. [S2] Huh. [S1] So I learned to talk to people so that they wouldn't leave. They often did leave, um, or they'd throw like a dime and a penny on the table and leave. [S2] As your tip, as if it's your fault. [S1] Yeah, exact...
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[S1] ... huge season of setback in my life. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Um, of self-doubt. Uh, I have a skin condition called rosacea, and for me it started getting really red, really bumpy, uh, and I would be anchoring the news live, thinking like, you know, "Okay, this is it, this is it." And I started hearing in my earpiece, ...
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[S1] So can you explain what that means particularly to somebody who's listening. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Who may feel like, I know I'm meant for something greater. [S2] Yes. [S1] Why the hell am I at this step? And this does not feel like it is like on the path of where I'm supposed to go. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So what do you mea...
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[S1] Yes, yes. [S2] What does that mean? [S1] Let me frame it around our topic of purpose, right? [S2] Okay. [S1] So often people feel empty because they feel like, "Oh, my purpose needs to be some job. It needs to be my job, or it needs to be this, this grand thing I haven't figured out yet." But for those of us that ...
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[S1] born to be a generational cycle breaker in my family. [S2] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. [S1] That is an incredible purpose, right? Purpose can be like, "Oh, I've been having a hard season for a long time, and when I actually just take a minute and say hi to someone else who's lonely," maybe it's like in the, in the coffee line...
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[S1] Like a sense of alignment when you're doing something in your purpose. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And I think that the big mistake people make is they think it's this end goal, right? A lot of times when people, uh, hear my story and they hear the, "Oh, Denny's Waitress builds billion-dollar company," they think my purpose...
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[S1] In the journey of how I did it. [S2] Yeah. [S1] I took this massive risk, right? Taking my makeup off on national television when I was told not to, um, and, and being brave enough to be seen. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And helping other women realize, uh, that they're worthy and enough exactly as they are, seeing them as ...
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[S1] It is waitressing. [S2] Yeah. [S1] It's pushing carts in a supermarket. [S2] Yeah. [S1] It's working in the back house of a restaurant. [S2] Yes. [S1] That's my story too. Helping my best friend on her paper route. Uh, busing tables. And I think when you work in retail or you work in a service job- [S2] Yeah. [S1]...
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[S1] And when you can bring that level of service to the job that you have right now, even if you hate it, even if tre- people treat you like garbage, even if the, the, the, the back of the house is not getting those pancakes out on time and people are angry. [S2] Yes. [S1] If you can bring a sense of grace and service...
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[S1] When things start working out. Because you don't ever forget what it's like to be treated like shit. [S2] Yes. [S1] Because somebody was mad that their pancakes weren't out on time. [S2] Yes. Yes. And also, you and I have had this experience where we've truly gotten to see and be almost every type of person in eve...
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[S1] We understand who, who's listening and watching you right now. [S2] Yes. Yes. [S1] I understand who real people are who built, you know, who bought, who bought my products. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And, and, and so when you mentioned steps are ordered, it's like, you know, no matter where you are in your life right now, wh...
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[S1] ... this toolbox of understanding, uh, and getting strong enough and equipped enough for the purpose you step into. [S2] Amazing. So professor of purpose, Jamie Kern-Lima, right there. That's your takeaway number one. The steps are ordered. Believe in that. [S1] Mm-hmm.
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[S1] And this moment is helping you. It's giving you something. So that is one major tool that you used along the way. Let's go back to that moment, 'cause I think you were 28 years old, right? When you're sitting on television in Seattle. [S2] Yeah. [S1] You are a local news anchor, you're living the dream, you're on ...
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[S1] is breaking through on camera in front of everybody. [S2] Yeah. [S1] The makeup that they put on you. [S2] Yes. [S1] And you've got people in your ear telling you, "There's something wrong with your face." [S2] Yes. [S1] And you're realizing, "Holy cow, the makeup that they've put on my face cannot cover the rosac...
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[S1] Yeah. I didn't feel it until they set it in my ear and, and my earpiece. [S2] Oh. [S1] And then what would start to happen was I would get so nervous and stressed out 'cause I kept trying to cover it, um, during commercial breaks. I could feel my heartbeat in my ears. [S2] Oh. [S1] So I remember, what I remember i...
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[S1] Anchoring the news. And people think when you're doing that, you must have all this money, but you really don't get paid much at all. And I- [S2] No. [S1] I took my little paycheck that I had and started spending it on, um, department store makeup, uh, professional artistry makeup, drugstore makeup. I couldn't fin...
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[S1] ... between those two. And it wasn't until I had this big, big aha moment of why I needed to do it, that pushed me over the edge. [S2] Okay, so what is the aha moment? [S1] Yeah.
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[S1] Yeah, so, so, so I realized one day, I'm like, "This makes no sense. There are thousands of makeup companies out there. How does nothing work for me?" Right? Then I had this moment where I realized I've never seen a model with bright red bumpy skin saying, you know, selling makeup. Like, you always see these Photo...
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[S1] and inside, they always made me feel like I wasn't enough. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And I had this moment. I was literally on the new set when this happened, where I was like, "Wait a minute. What if it's not just about launching a makeup product? Like, like what if I could actually figure out how to do it?" Which I had ...
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[S1] And how can you now use that, making it through, to help someone who's going through it? [S2] Okay. [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] That's like a mic drop moment from our professor of purpose, Jamie Kern-Lima. So again, I like to unpack these things to make sure. [S1] Yeah. [S2] This is a, this is a, I always say this is not j...
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[S1] I want to make sure nobody's left behind. [S2] Yes. [S1] And there was billions of dollars worth of wisdom that you just dropped. And so I want to try to unpack it for anybody that is listening to this and you have this sense that you're made for more. [S2] Yeah. [S1] So one of the things that I heard is, look in ...
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[S1] There are other people that are dealing with this. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And that if you can figure out how to put your energy into making this better for yourself, and you bring other people into the fold with you, you now have something that's worth working on. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Because it helps you and it's gonna hel...
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[S1] 14 or 15 years ago. So we're talking 2007, 2008, correct? [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] In my opinion, Jamie Kern-Lima is the reason why we have this Real Beauty movement. There always has to be the first person, and she was it. So when you look around the, the Internet and social media and you see people doing naked faces, t...
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[S1] You have something inside of you that is a problem, something that you can solve, and you could be the first to change the way that people think about an issue. And so, Jamie, let's pick up the story because how do you go from this aha moment, like, "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God," to doing something? [S2] Yes. ...
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[S1] And then we doubt him. [S2] But we don't do anything. [S1] Yes, 'cause we doubt him. We doubt him. We think like, "Oh, someone's already done it." [S2] Yes. [S1] Or, "Oh, whatever." First of all, if you're out there right now and you think, "Oh, you have an idea or, or a way you wanna show up in the world," or, or...
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[S1] Say that again, Jamie, for the people that are like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, kids, calm down." Uh, I, wait, Jamie just said something. I was doing my dishes. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Say that again. Talk about the fact that this matters. [S2] This is huge because I think the biggest reason we talk ourselves out of things is ...
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[S1] What I have learned and then proven, and I want to tell you too about, oh, I'm going to get so excited. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] No, because, no, when you do this thing, like, don't be shocked then when there's millions and millions of rejections and people don't get it, right? Um, uh, uh, because it's never been done b...
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[S1] Whatever you do, if it's authentic to you, it's actually, by definition, it's never been done before. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Right? And so, when you show up that way, don't be surprised if not everyone gets it right away. Or, you know, in my case, all the experts I put on pedestals all said no. That this idea of, of, o...
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[S1] Can I ask you a question real quick? How did you go from the, uh-huh- [S2] Yes. [S1] ... to starting? So what did that look like? Like, 'cause I think, like, if you're in this space where, you know, let's just use an example. You've never actually
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[S1] You don't know the fir- You, you, you have this thing about catering- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... that you just can't get it out of your head. You wanna do these events, you wanna- You've never actually done this, 'cause you had never- [S2] Yes. [S1] ... done anything with makeup. You had no idea what you were doing. [S2]...
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[S1] leaning on that, why I had to do it, and why I felt like it was going to be part of my purpose, was a big thing that helped me actually take the risk, quit my job. [S2] Wait, you quit your job because you had an aha moment? [S1] Yeah, it was deep. I was like, if I had- [S2] What did it feel like? [S1] It felt like...
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[S1] I would wake up the rest of my life with this pain in my gut, this longing, knowing I was created for more. Um, it felt like if I didn't do it, I would have the pain of regret. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And if I did do it, I might have the pain of failure and maybe the pain of embarrassment and the, maybe the pain of, "Oh...
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[S1] ... but very little savings. [S2] 'Cause you didn't pay yourself for the first three years that you did this. [S1] First three years. So basically, my husband and I wrote this business plan, right? [S2] Yeah. [S1] Um, quit our jobs, dove all in in our living room. We poured all of our savings into it. I thought, M...
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[S1] ... every penny we had into it and I, once we actually created a product by, and we were scrappy. If you wanna know how- [S2] And how did you create a product? Like, are you in your kitchen buying stuff at the grocery store or how does this even work? [S1] Okay, so, no, so, so first, um, I love that, you know, tec...
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[S1] that, uh, manufacturers are, are, are makeup company's closest held secrets, right? Like closest held secrets. They won't disclose who they work with, but a lot of these big manufacturers work with all the top brands that you see, or a handful of them. [S2] Gotcha. [S1] So I started- [S2] So, so are you saying tha...
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[S1] ... handful of companies, and then some do it in-house as well. [S2] Gotcha. [S1] Um, so what I did was scrappy. I walked into a Sephora, I wrote down the name of every single brand in there, went home, you know, I had no money, right? Cold call every single brand and say like, "Oh,
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[S1] ... scrappy, um, and, and trying to figure it out. All of our money had went into, uh, the product development formula and the advisory board of the product. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And I thought, okay, now we have a product that works for me, right? This was after hundreds of formula iterations. I thought that was gonna ...
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[S1] ... doing that. [S2] You want to know what it was? [S1] Yeah. [S2] We still believed in it, but we weren't sure how we were going to make it. It was like friends and family that were like, "Uh, wait, you quit your job? Are you sure you should have quit your job?" Or, "Wait, you still haven't made any money? Like, ...
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[S1] Because of the things that have happened in their past. [S2] Yeah. [S1] They don't know how to trust their intuition. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And I get a lot of questions about decision making and how to truly, in a situation like this, where you are burning through your entire life savings. [S2] Yeah. [S1] You have left ...
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[S1] and, and, and you didn't listen, or even your gut was telling you, right? And you didn't listen, and you think back to those times, and you start to develop pattern recognition. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Um, of how it felt in moments in your life when you trusted yourself, or didn't, and what happened, and you get better ...
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[S1] What does it feel like for you? [S2] [SIGHS] I feel- [S1] In both situations. Like, can you describe what it feels like for you when you're like, "Yep, no, that's a no." [S2] Yes. [S1] And what does it feel like for you when you're like, "I'm sticking with this." [S2] Yeah.
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[S1] Yeah. It's, often it's the tiniest of feelings in my gut, right? Some people describe it as like a still, small voice. I pray about it. I ask God to give me the answers and I try to live the answers. [S2] Do you feel the answers that God gives you? Like, is that what happens for you when you do this? [S1] Like, ri...
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[S1] Right? And, and we get these feelings, but so much around us is so loud. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] You know? And we just learn over time. And by the way, not to go, this could be a whole other episode, but especially as women, from the time we're young, we learn not to trust ourselves. We, we, we walk into our parents fig...
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[S1] often with your friends and you- [S2] Or making other people happy. [S1] Making other people happy. Uh, people pleasing. We're rewarded for, for, for pleasing everyone else and, and almost ignoring what we feel. So, so if you're someone who's an adult right now going, "I don't even know how to hear my own gut or t...
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[S1] if it's five minutes a day just to thinking about moments in my life where I trusted myself, where I didn't. Um, and if you don't remember any of them, start now. [S2] You know what you just inspired me to think about? [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] I don't even know if it's possible to do this. But imagine if you could go thr...
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[S1] If you don't want to go to that party tonight, don't go. If a friend asks you something and you feel obligated, out of guilt, to lend them that thing, don't actually lend them the thing. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Eat what you want to eat tonight for dinner. Don't just go to wherever your friends want to go. Like, I think th...
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[S1] And you start building that muscle, right? And the more you do that, some, some people don't even pay attention to what they actually want to eat for dinner. They're just like, "What sounds good to everyone?" But to your point, when you start paying attention, then you also start building that knowing of hearing y...
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[S1] ... intuition. Here's how I think it's po- I think it's way more likely and, and, and you're gonna actually discover more than one purpose- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... often if you're really tuned in to your intuition and, and, and your intentional about it. But what I'll say for someone who feels like they can't hear t...
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[S1] Right? Um, uh, Trent Shelton, our friend, says, says one day the things you're going through right now will be the things you made it through. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And what I would say to someone listening right now is,
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[S1] I believe often when we go through the hardest times in our life- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... it's for one of two reasons. [S2] What are they? [S1] It is to either equip us with the strength we need to carry the weight of our success that's to come- [S2] Mm. [S1] ... to carry the weight of our purpose that's to come, or w...
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[S1] By one day helping someone else who's going through them. And- [S2] I love that saying, that you're best equipped to help the person you used to be. [S1] Yes. Yes. Yes. [S2] So let's go to that moment, Jamie. You're three years in.
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[S1] You've burned through the money. [S2] Yes. [S1] You have been told, "No," by everybody. And even though you have leveraged all of the steps that were ordered along the way, and like an amazing Denny's waitress, you can talk to anybody. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] You can hustle. You can figure it out. [S2] Yeah. [S1] You h...
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[S1] The first, uh, was in the form of a crazy, painful rejection. So I thought, "No." Um, so we got a call from a big potential investor. [S2] Okay. [S1] And very famous for launching all these sort of unknown brands and making them big products we all buy in grocery stores. And, you know, and I thought, and they got ...
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[S1] this pretty woman moment, right? Where I was like, "Oh, he's gonna save the day." And so we started taking meeting after meeting, uh, and, and we, it got down to the final meeting with this huge investment firm. And, uh, it was in person. My husband and I actually flew to the meeting, and the head guy was about th...
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[S1] We're gonna pass on investing in cosmetics. And I was like, okay, can you tell me why? Because I'm so used to hearing no. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And I was like, okay. Even though really I was devastated, but- [S2] Well, yeah, 'cause they just led you on and you just went through it and this was supposed to be the meeting...
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[S1] ... so hopeful, and I was so desperate. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And, um, he says, he got very quiet, and he says to me, "Do you wanna know, you know, do you," or what, I said, I said, "Can you tell me why?" And he says to me, "Do you want me to be, uh, really honest with you?" And I said, "Yes, please." And he got really ...
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[S1] That's it. [S2] Yeah. [S1] As somebody who loves you and is your friend, when you shared that story with me and hearing you tell it again right now...
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[S1] I literally go, "I'm a kill that motherfucker." [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] I, I go, I have that, my knowing goes, "Oh, yeah?" [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] "Oh, yeah? You think, okay, okay." [S2] Yeah. [S1] "Okay, let me, let me show you." Like it's that, like I get that sort of mojo thing going when somebody says no like that, at a...
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[S1] Sort of this wake up call that my knowing often feels like, "I'll show you." [S2] Yeah. [S1] You missed out. You'll be sorry. What is yours sound like? [S2] And it's almost always true. That's almost always true.
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[S1] Right. [S2] What is your sound like? So is yours like, "Mm," or is it more of like- [S1] I mean, in that case, I was devastated and at the same time had this strong, it, it was just a peace. Honestly, in that moment, it was a peace, he's wrong, and that didn't make sense in my head. Why? 'Cause I had had three yea...
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[S1] You know, it's easy for someone to go, "Oh, wow, she built a billion dollar company. She must've just got lucky." Or maybe she just had so many connections. Or we always think, but, but really what it comes down to sometimes, in this case, that big moment for me, do you listen to the nos or do you listen to the kn...
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[S1] ... do when you don't even know the next step. So you got this kind of, you know, jerk who's like, "Yeah, they're not gonna buy it because of your body type," and this, that, and the other thing. You're like, "Yeah, you're wrong, motherfucker." [S2] Yeah. [S1] But what do you do next?
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[S1] And, and so the next right step, the next thing that feels right when you can't even see how the heck it's gonna work out. [S2] How do you even determine what the next right step is? [S1] Yeah, you just get, for me, I just get still. I pray, I pray. [S2] Yeah. [S1] You know that. [S2] Yeah. [S1] I pray, uh, and I ...
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[S1] Right? And, and try to live that answer, whatever it is, and take that next right step. And I just felt, I just had this knowing I was supposed to keep going. And even when it didn't make sense, and, and, you know, I remember crying myself to sleep. I remember writing in my journal, um, "Know Your Why, Then Fly, G...
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[S1] so successful today or, you know, and I just kept trying to sort of build this toolbox of things I could lean on, um, but I- [S2] And how did, how did QVC come about because- [S1] Oh, yeah. [S2] ... you-
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[S1] Built IT Cosmetics and it became, because of you, the most successful beauty brand on all of QVC. You did over a thousand appearances. [S2] Yeah. [S1] So how did you even get onto QVC? Because that, in and of itself, is no small feat. [S2] Yeah, well, you know, their, their head guy of beauty, who's like a legend,...
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[S1] And was this before or after this guy was like, "No, we're not investing." [S2] After. [S1] After? [S2] After. [S1] So she has now gotten three years of no's. [S2] Yeah. [S1] They're almost out of money. Her intuition is knowing that she's gonna fly girl fly. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] So she is still showing up to a beau...
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[S1] who has been broken up with you is attended. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] So everybody that has said no to her- [S2] Yes. Yes. [S1] ... you know, she walks in and it's like, "Oh, here's this chick again." [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] The IT chick, right? [S2] Yep. [S1] The IT cosmetics person that has been sending me this stuff and c...
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[S1] Yeah. [S2] It's that. [S1] Oh, God, this chick again. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] With the, with the skin, with the, okay. [S2] Yeah. [S1] So you're at this thing. [S2] Yeah. [S1] You've been told no by the big, big, big, big, big person. It's been three years, so we're talking like 2011, 2012-ish. What do you do? [S2] So ...
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[S1] No, so what it is, it's, it was this big, um, cosmetic executive women award show. [S2] Okay. [S1] And why you're there is you are, you get a three-foot table, you're demonstrating your product. You're hoping that someone who walks by either wants to carry your product in their stores- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... or all...
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[S1] and, and then all the brands you can imagine, right, are there. And there's 6,000 women walking. And when I got there, I saw QVC had this huge booth in the background, and you're not allowed to leave your table, right? And I couldn't afford to get kicked out. Um, but I just kept having this feeling like, okay, I'v...
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[S1] got over there, made my way to one of the buyers, introduced myself, poured my heart out. Like, was sw- I remember sweat just dripping through my clothes 'cause I was freaking out, down to no money. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Um, I'll cut a real long story short, but she gave me her card, um, and, uh, you know, it's like whe...
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[S1] but she actually meant it. And I, I flew out, had a meeting with her. We got a yes, my first big yes for one shot on QVC. And what it meant, Mel, was I was gonna get this 10-minute segment live on the air, live in front of 100 million homes, and I either had to sell enough product to hit their sales goal- [S2] Yea...
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[S1] Okay. [S2] And- [S1] One to two orders a day, everybody. [S2] Yep. [S1] After- [S2] Yep. Three years. [S1] For almost four, yeah, three years of this. [S2] Yeah. [S1] How, this is like- [S2] And barely keeping the lights on, um- [S1] And so now you get this, you get your shot. [S2] I get my shot. [S1] Like there a...
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[S1] Well, QVC, it's, I mean, you know, it's unlike stores where you can walk in and there's thousands of products in one space. They're one minute of air time, can get one product. So you're competing with the volume of like Apple iPhone or Dyson vacuum. You have to hit these highest sales goals. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And w...
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[S1] Uh, 6,000 units of product, shipping it in, going through legal, going through QC, going through all of it. And then I learned if I go on air and it doesn't sell, I have to take it all back. [S2] Oh, my God. [S1] And therefore go out of business, right? So you should never, ever, ever accept a purchase order. You ...
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[S1] ... purchase order and a little bit more. So I took the little bit more, we hired third party consultants. I'm like, "I'm going all in. I wanna do the best 10 minutes I could possibly do. I, I wanna, I wanna have no regrets." And they all told me the same thing. [S2] Which is? [S1] Which is, if you want a chance a...
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[S1] ... never been done. So we're, is this 2011? [S2] This is 2010. Yeah, end of 2010. [S1] So 2010, everybody. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So this was not something people did. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Like we're talking about the person who changed the industry. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Right here, and this is the moment you're hearing it. A...
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[S1] And she listened to her knowing. So when you walked into QVC with normal human beings, no flawless models, no one with perfect skin, all ages, all body types. [S2] Yep. Yep. [S1] Did people say, "Wait, you can't take them on the air?" Or was there any, like, were people like, "Oh, she's got, this is just gonna be ...
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[S1] Um, I let them, yeah, I let them know I wanted to. And QVC was great, you know? The, here's the thing about QVC is, like, they want everyone to be their authentic selves. [S2] Yeah. [S1] It's just, this has never been done this way before. [S2] Okay. [S1] And I wish I could say it was easy for me to just go, "I'm ...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130600
[S1] ... every time. [S2] Okay, everybody stop. The professor class is in session. Do you hear that? That inauthenticity, being fake, trying to do something everybody else's way because that's just, you're too insecure to do it your way. [S1] Yeah. [S2] That never guarantees success. [S1] Yeah. [S2] Authenticity, your ...
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audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p72_m4-dialogue_0130600.mp3
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