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(for context, I have scrupulosity).
So basically a few months ago I started having this “urge to laugh” thing. My mind reads a lot into things, and it would “twist” certain (usually morally wrong) things until they reached a thought that would make me want to laugh.
Not to long ago I read a comment online telling me that something was sacreligious that I had no idea about! I avoided it ever since. But of course, my mind started noticing it everywhere and would read into it all the time. All of a sudden, my urge to laugh took over it. I would be sitting in class, my mind would see the thing, and “twist” it up into an image/way that would make me want to laugh. I kept feeling the urge. I would sit there in class, crying because of it. How could I want to laugh at something knowing how horrible it actually is?
I found a post of someone with the same problem. An urge to laugh. (Except they didn’t have the “twisting” thing). Someone replied to them saying they want to laugh probably because of how ridiculous the thought is.
That made me feel so much better. I no longer felt bad about my laughing urge. But then I realized: “Even if i’m laughing because it’s ridiculous, I’m still laughing at it, knowing how bad it is”. I felt so guilty. I accepted that i was in the wrong.
That same day, before i went to bed, I got another “twisted” version of the thought. I had the urge to laugh. But i didn’t feel guilty. I was done. I sat there and let myself laugh at it willingly, at all the variations my mind could twist up.
Then i’d realized what i’d done. The guilt took over me. I was so confused. Any opinions?
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OCD
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Hey! (M26)I’ve been recently diagnosed with adhd and just started treatment last month. Currently I’m on 150mg of bupropion (welbutrin). I’ve got a follow up appointment next week to talk with my doctor to see how things are going but as most of you know it’s hard to keep track of or even remember what happens most days. I struggle with remembering to record or write stuff down because if I don’t do it at the moment then it won’t happen and I might notice I’m experiencing a side effect or feeling a certain way during the day but I don’t feel the need to write it down. Do any of you guys have any of your own tricks or things you’ve gotten into the habit of doing that works well with your adhd brains?
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ADHD
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So I’ve had this issue for a long time now. It’s not consistent, it doesn’t happen ALL the time, but it happens so often that it raises concern for me.
It seems to happen only when I’m masturbating, not so much when I’m with a guy (I’m a gay guy). So whenever I start to masturbate I’d get random flashbacks of some previous traumas I’ve went through and it would turn me off completely. Sometimes I can overcome this by going at it for a while, others it completely stops it. But masturbation is almost always associated with some anxiety attack for me.
The way I interpret this is that (and correct me if I’m wrong), the same neurotransmitters responsible for ejaculation and sex drive are the ones that stimulates or causes your anxiety, which explains why lots of anti-anxiety meds causes sexual dysfunction (or at least that has been the case for me).
So am I the only one feeling this way or is this common? And if it is common, how can you overcome this without resorting to meds (I’m leaving meds as a very last resort for now).
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ptsd
|
I'm not a teenager anymore and when all this started these were just episodes of thoughts coming and going.
It became slightly worse when I had to move to another city for my college life, some days it was better some days I felt like shit. When the pandemic started and I had to come back home these thoughts started feeling like urges/desires which was a terrifying thought itself. I kept ruminating about it and after a year of dwelling over the same thoughts, "what if I sexually hurt someone for being such an idiot?!" Or "what if I hurt someone for what they did?" What?! Nothing of this even makes sense, today my condition is that somewhere my mind is trying to convince me this is real.
I fear what if someday I get these what if questions and the reply is "yes" this thought is giving me severe panic attacks. My brain hurts man. I'm tired. I wanna live, I wanna be happy. I wanna love. I don't know if someone else is going through this as well. I hope not.
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OCD
|
I've heard several times that only 15% of autistic people in the UK are employed. While this statistic is pretty indicative of both unaccomodating workplaces and the demands of modern society being hostile to those of us on the spectrum, it makes me think about the 85% that aren't employed. How do you guys survive? What mechanisms are in place? It might sound like a basic/dumb question, but it's something I've been concerned about lately.
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aspergers
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idk if this is related to OCD, but i kind of starting to experience anxiety every night before goin to bed, these intrusive thoughts always pops up in my head like what if i dont wake up tomorrow? what if one of my family members dont wake up, and i wake up and seeing them crying and panic that someones not waking up. It always happens to me, and i kinda rely on my sleeping positions to like avoid those from happening, like if i sleep on my right, everything will be fine then seconds later my mind opposes and i need to sleep on my left immediately, then so it goes until i fall asleep without tryin to.
i also have these thoughts abt dead celebrities and its even worse, like i really cant sleep at all, some several nights that i havent slept on, cause i always picture their faces which creeps the hell out of me, and feel like theyre around me, its crazy that im more afraid of them than some people who died in our village....
i really want to know what these stuff are called, cuz im really scared to know that maybe im the only person suffering from this
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OCD
|
Nobody in my direct family does not have ADHD, i heard autism could co-exist with it (which i do have by the way) bit i have nobody in my family with autism in my family. both of my parents are bipolar, 2 of my uncles have bipolar, my great grandfather has schizoactive bipolar and my father has dyslexia.
how does this give me ADHD I do not get it.
I have all the issues with adhd plus the diagnosis but how i got it is a mystery to me..
I was wondering if i was misdiagnosed with ADHD and really have bipolar but deppresion isnt a big issue with me as "mania" would be.
I dunno does anybody have any similar situation?
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ADHD
|
I am recently diagnosed with both OCD and ADHD. I have been in search for a medication or medications that work well for me for 5 years now, I have tried lexapro, prozac, paxil, strattera, ambilify, effexor, and a few more I can’t remember the names of. I just started paxil so I am unsure of how it will work. All of the other medications I have reacted pretty negatively to. I have never had that great of a psychiatrist so I feel that’s partly why this has been such a long journey for me. Just am tired of trying so many different medications, It’s a lot for my mind and body to handle and overall makes me feel more mentally i’ll then I was in the first place. I am looking into finding a specialist but those are very inaccessible in my area sadly.
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ADHD
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How do you guys handle intrusive thought spirals? I've been living with my parents for three months and I can't stop spiraling. Some days I feel secure and like I can love myself, but then I wake up in the morning with a knot in my stomach and the cycle starts again. Any help or advice would be appreciated.
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OCD
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I don’t know if this is a place where I’m necessarily welcome to share this stuff but I hope so because I have barely anyone who has OCD around me and everyone thinks I’m crazy for these things. I wanted to share with you guys things I do personally because of my OCD
Whenever someone says knock on wood, I have to knock on my head with my left hand 3 times, moderately hard. It has to be perfect and if I don’t hit the place on my head I do it again and again until it feels right
Whenever my boyfriend goes to work I have to tell him to be careful. I just gotta.
Ever since I was a kid I have gotten hyperfixated and obsessed with random things.
Every night before I go to bed I have to watch the first video in my YouTube recommended, no matter how long it is.
I can’t take my necklace off because of fear. And when I leave my house without my bracelets on I feel really unsafe
During TV shows or movies something has to happen the way I envision it or I’ll feel a sense of unease the rest of the movie. Thankfully I’m usually right.
Let me know if you think any of these aren’t OCD related or if you share any or any thoughts really.
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OCD
|
My harm ocd flares up at night time, and it comes to a point where I actually imagine going through with the thoughts, kinda like "what would happen" situation, and its bugging me cause I dont want to hurt anyone, or I'll have ones toward myself. I recently started therapy.
Mostly did an introductory and my first real session is soon, I totally forgot the day, but I feel like I need these to go away first. I have so many problems I need to talk about but I'm scared of my harm ocd.
I talked to my mom about it, and while she understands I have ocd intrusive thoughts, she doesnt really understand it fully, cause she asked me if there was any truth to these thoughts. I mean I also think she might get intrusive thoughts but idk, cause she said she also got simular thoughts before.
But I feel scared of myself, I wish I slept at night so this wouldnt be a problem anymore.
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OCD
|
I don’t know how to fully express this because I’m feeling pretty catatonic today, and when any emotion slips through it’s like this extreme despair that makes me just want to fucking die.
Me and my ex girlfriend broke up 6 years ago. Given that I was abused and abandoned by the rest of my entire family growing up, I never really felt like anyone loved me or cared about me, until I met my ex.
I grew to be attached to her in a way that you might imagine anyone would to the first person that ever loved them. She ended up replacing what my family was supposed to be to me. She was the first person that ever made me feel like I was good enough for them.
And then out of the blue, she ended up leaving me in the worst possible and most painful way she possibly could, and left me to get back together with her ex boyfriend who abused her and killed her dog while they were in a bad stretch. It was the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced in my life, and the one person who ever loved me ended up abandoning me too and made me feel like I wasn’t good enough.
She ended up leaving him. In the last 6 years, I’ve tried to reconcile with her and get back together a number of times, but it never worked out. The last time I saw her in person was 4 years ago, and we got into an argument and ended up being on really bad terms. I haven’t seen her or talked to her since June 2016.
Last night I saw her at a bar I’ve been going to for the first time since then. It looked like she was with a new boyfriend the way they were talking and interacting. And all the feelings of not being good enough overwhelmed me again. I’ve seen this guy around the neighborhood. Everyone seems to like him. He’s taller, more muscular and just overall better looking than I am. He’s charismatic. I also think he’s fucking obnoxious. But she’s with him now.
I never had a real chance with my ex. She was always going to leave me for someone like that. I was never good enough for her. I want nothing more than to find a way to just painlessly kill myself, because I can’t tolerate that feeling, or having to know that she’s with someone better than me, or just isn’t with me anymore in general. I can’t take it anymore.
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ptsd
|
23M
I've realized my entire life basically I've never had a close connection with anyone. I had some turbulence in family to put it lightly and I was never close with my parents. I grew up with them around but they were never affectionate, we never talked much and they were drunk a lot. I could count on one hand the number of times ig hugged them or heard I love you
Even as a kid I remember recognizing that I was on my own at home and just stuck to my toys or video games or whatever.
I've had social anxiety for as long as I can remember and have only had a couple close friends ever but even then they're guy friendships where you play video games and hang out a lot but never share your emotions or get that serious. I had one serious relationship but it was mainly a long distance relationship and I think emotionally abusive and manipulative anyway and I never felt like I could fully be myself or be supported.
Nowadays I just basically don't talk to anyone, I go to work which is retail so I put on the fake customer service cheer and act like I'm connecting with people but it's all just a script. Then I go home alone and play video games, or if I do go anywhere I go alone. I go out to eat alone, to movies and concerts alone, I work out alone, go to the store alone, whatever. People probably say it's sad going to a movie, concert or restaurant alone and I really agree but not like I have anyone to ask to go. I spend my whole life alone with ear buds in it feels like.
I just want to connect with people and have a real meaningful relationship where I can tell someone I'm not doing well or tell them that I am and they'll be supportive either way. I've realized I've never had a single person I've been emotionally close with and now I don't know how to socialize and I feel like I'll be lonely forever. I'm 23 and have never had someone who might even just care how my day was I feel like.
I don't talk to anyone really, don't hang out with anyone, don't feel like anyone really even cares about me. I just go through my daily grind, alone, and that's it
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depression
|
I tested positive for covid so I’ve been isolating in my room to keep my family safe. At night I normally go down and fill up my water bottle in a very specific way but today I got my dad to fill it up but now I’m lying in bed panicking trying to convince myself that it’s ok and I’m not going to poison myself by drinking from it.
Spoilers, it’s not doing well. I’m quite stressed.
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OCD
|
So next month I'm going to have to see my abuser again and I'm freaking out about it. I still have flashbacks occasionally and I am scared seeing them will make things worse. I can't tell my parents about the abuse due to many reasons and since I am an adult so I was wondering if anyone has tips to not freak out too much.
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ptsd
|
Specifically the thoughts or problems or thoughts you face currently with OCD. You don't have to go into detail at all. I feel like everyone thinks their OCD thoughts are crazy and it definitely makes me feel less alone when I hear about someone else's.
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OCD
|
Hi all, I’d like to talk about my contamination OCD and a very specific problem it has caused me. What happened recently has been a big wake up call and a prompt for me to do more to address my OCD.
So I suffer from contamination OCD and my main compulsion is the need for my bed to be clean. No one else can touch my pillow and I have to be clean before going to bed. Besides showering, the T shirt I wear to bed needs to be clean. As a result, I would wash my T shirts separately from the rest of the family. When it came to drying, I was afraid to use the tumble dryer and would set up a drying rack in my bedroom with the windows open for ventilation.
Besides being a symptom of my OCD, why is this significant? Drying clothes indoors increases humidity and this can have a big effect on items in the home. I keep a lot of books and expensive toys/collectibles in my room, most of them neatly stored away in a wardrobe. “Don’t worry, you keep the windows open!” Well, I did until a few months ago. We had construction work on the front of our home. This was done by my dad, who is self taught and he used a power saw to the brickwork on the front porch. Unfortunately, he gave zero warning and the windows had been left open. Within seconds, all the rooms in the front of our home were caked in brick dust. I was paranoid about opening windows after this (perhaps rightly so) and for a month there wasn’t enough ventilation to my room.
Where am I going with this? Remember those books and toys/collectibles? The lack of ventilation has caused them to deteriorate and develop mould. My need for cleanliness and paranoia about dust entering through the windows backfired. I had easily thousands of pounds worth of stuff that might have to be thrown away. I’m still in the process of checking the damage and seeing what can be salvaged.
These may just be material objects, but they were bought with my hard earned money. I’m a geeky person and these are the things I love. If I hadn’t checked, it would have continued and I would’ve had an even bigger problem.
So, a big wake up call for me. I need to make changes to my life. Whether it’s therapy or self help, something needs to be done.
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OCD
|
Hi all, just to let you know I have been on my journey for around 5 years now. Slowly but surely with medication and changes in my life I have become a much more positive and functional adult. The thoughts probably won’t ever go completely but I can brush them away and live a much happier life than what OCD dictated I could.
You might be at the start of your journey or well on your way but your OCD thoughts do not define you. The fact that you feel guilty over what OCD says to you, shows that you are not the thoughts you are having.
You are all wonderful people and soon you will be able to see and feel it too. You will always be more loved than you can know, accept the love don’t question it.
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OCD
|
I went two days without picking at my acne and now, with my parents picking me up tomorrow from college and staying up way too late, i scraped at my face for like 2 hours and now im a bloody mess and my face looks like a mine field. I just want to be normal and heal...
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OCD
|
I think my sister has severe OCD. It is affecting her life greatly. She has her own area in the house which is a mess and unsanitary and no one is allowed to touch anything in that area. This area kind of includes the laundry room. I saw some spare changed collected on the machine and wanted to put it in our family coin jar to use. But then she got really mad and said that the coins are dirty and I have to watch my hands. She said my hands are now contaminated and I am spreading something around that house which would then make her condition worse because she says she now has to clean everything or she will be afraid to touch things. I try to reason with her but she is so stubborn and starts getting rlly angry and emotional.
What am I suppose to do in this situation? Should I do what she says? Or should I not do it because I feel like it is providing temporary relief and enabling her.
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OCD
|
So I’ve been seeing a trend of people claiming they got “ PTSD” from a work meeting, getting their order wrong , being in a line too long, being in traffic & basically having any inconvenience in their life. It’s annoying & disrespectful af to people who actually have had real trauma am I the only one pissed off at how much “ptsd” is thrown around ? Like it’s the same as just being upset?? (PTSD has ruined my life & I can’t even drive without panic attacks due to my very serious car accident yet People are claiming they have ptsd like it’s cool 🙄)
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ptsd
|
How do you deal with knowing you lost your years to being stuck in trauma response? I recently started therapy and we have discovered I’ve spent the last few years in trauma response, rarely leaving the house because of it. I’m 18 soon. I don’t feel like it, and it feels unfair. I resent others who are turning 18 and are comfortable with it, having lived their lives. I’m stuck at 14 experience wise, and the last few years haven’t really been living just, trying to survive and get to a place where I can live. I struggle to be grateful.
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ptsd
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I always kinda knew about it, but it’s really starting to affect my life now and trying to come to terms with it is difficult.
I can’t walk on the sidewalk and step on any cracks, and if I do then I have to immediately do it with the other foot otherwise I’ll feel really.. i guess frustrated is the best word for it.
The obsessive thoughts, like I get actually EXHAUSTED because I will be deep in the rabbit hole of obsession.
Oh and never feeling like I locked my front door, and if I convinced myself that I didn’t then I am absolutely 🙄 getting robbed, or if I think I didn’t turn off the stove, then I have myself convinced that I burned the apartment complex down because of it.
My mother used to get up in the middle of the night and check the front door multiple times to make sure it was locked. Should’ve known it’d be passed on.
Thanks for reading this, if you did. This was more so to help me come to terms with it. Cheers to moving on
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OCD
|
I am officially diagnosed with PTSD but am currently not in therapy for it. Years ago I had a therapist tell me that these symptoms are connected to my PTSD but I never really thought much on them because they usually didn't affect my day to day life and when they did I was able to laugh it off with whoever was unlucky enough to see a full grown woman drop to the ground due to a sound. Yesterday however I was working the till when my boss threw something heavy behind me and it was really REALLY loud. I automatically screeched and fell to the ground in front of customers. My boss glared at me and told me to quit being unprofessional. Now I'm extremely embarrassed and kind of pissed off. When these "episodes" happen it's like I lose control over my body and just go absolutely limp. I literally can't help it. Does anyone else experience this or anything similar?
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ptsd
|
I'm currently in a mindset where everything seems to give me anxiety and uncertainty. I'm under deep anxiety and it feels like I can't control these feelings.
I know many of you recall what an OCD attack feels like. It's like my mind is working a lot more irrationally than usual. I don't know how to stop it.
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OCD
|
Some days I feel like my OCD will never get better. I’ve always been a hoarder as well, and just had random crap lying all over the place (which I’ve been working on improving over the last year). My landlord did some work in my apartment in June and vacuumed even though I told him I’d get it, then immediately dumped the canister. Normally I’d check through to make sure nothing “important” (life savings —lmao— jewelry, a sd card, a small puppy idk) was in there but I didn’t have a chance because he threw it away.
Tonight I sat there brooding that I could be missing something I won’t even realize until much later down the road. I hate the way my brain works.
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OCD
|
I have a complicated history with meds. I was diagnosed originally at 6 and was on and off meds my whole school career. When was on my meds I was healthier smarter and more successful at school, but I was less fun to be around and less personable in general, with a much shorter fuse. Because of this I developed a resentment towards the meds because i felt like I was only useful on the meds but i was only "happy" off of them. This led to me quitting them for a while, then getting back on them over and over throughout school when my grades dipped enough to gorce me back on to avoid failing.
I quit meds in college about 10 years ago to see if i could "do it on my own". I didnt. I failed calc 3 like 4 times and dropped out with an associates and some game design certs. Essentially the most useless group of degrees possible. Since then I've managed to find work on my own and am making decent money. So I've eventually gotten to the "making it" stage, which im proud of.
I've also had to have my thyroid removed due to a cancer scare in 2019 and am now on thyroid meds permanently. One of the main reasons I stopped meds was because i didn't want to be dependant on meds to "exist", but now I am dependant on them to exist literally. I feel like I am mature enough to retun to them now and not have the same resentment that I had in the past because I've proven that I can survive without them.
I'm primarily concerned about the type of person I'll become going back. I like being as relaxed as I am when I can't remember anything long enough to get mad about it. I feel like people like me more that way, and people can always tell when im on or off meds. I feel like the very thing the meds do to make me more effective also make me more angry and offputting. So I always have to choose between being an effective asshole or to be happy and useless.
My questions are:
Are any of the meds better about the personality?
Is there anything I can do to minimize the personality change?
Is there anything I should be looking for in a person who would be prescribing these to me or is an online service sufficient?
Also the last time I asked about being put back on medication the doc treated me like a druggie and told me thqt they "arent that kind of place" so should I not be trying to go through a doc? I dont know if i can afford a specialist. I have cigna insurance if that helps.
Any experiences or advice is appreciated.
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ADHD
|
Journal #3:
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Procrastination.
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I'm lonely and like just posting it to avoid remembering.
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Prone to spelling errors.
Bad with syntax.
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I'm actually antisocial.
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I do not understand or conform to social norms.
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Like I have no social media.
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I don't count this as social media because no one knows me and idc.
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Like i do not fit in on reddit.
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Which is good, but it makes me come off wrong.
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Anyway, please leave I like making these for some reason.
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Therapist said I should write so I will.
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I have a paper due Monday. The soul crushing loneliness.
Men with trauma are treated super poorly. I know I need to take responsibility but im so stressed all the time. Everyone wants me to be perfect and im such a failure.
My depression doesn't really stem from anything real I guess. Just comes in waves so I try and ignore it the best I can.
My social anxiety is terrible but I'm a terrible person garbage really.
Fuck I want to d. I'm so fucking lonely. I love my loneliness and hate it.
Being alone means the pain can stop. No more anxiety. However, I need to get on with my life.
I'm so fucking whiny. Shit. Tbf. If none of the makes sense its fine im just writing to write.
I don't matter. Im so bad at talking to people. Im weird and have nothing to offer. I can't write to save my life. And I'm dumb. Fuck.
I guess I should get a diary or some shit god I hate Reddit its sooooooo toxic but its the only place I can just be free tbh. I hate big platforms that require you to be friends with the people you know in real life.
Everyone I know hates me because I suck and I'm a loser.
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depression
|
Hello guys!
I’m close to starting my treatment and I’m super nervous and scared that it wont work like i have imagined, that the side effects being too severe that I’m stuck with staying "like this" forever.
I can’t imagine living a fulfilled life the way i so deeply want it to, so I’m kindly asking you to share what changed you personality wise when you started getting on meds?
Positive and negative sides. Not only ADD/ADHD related. Are you happier?
I’m a 25 year old girl(woman) who would really like to get an education soon.
I would really appreciate your answers, please and thank you🤍
Excuse my English
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ADHD
|
I'm not sure where to ask this so I am just putting this here since I know ptsd can affect memory. If this is not a ptsd thing feel free to correct me.
I just straight up don't really remember them happening. Last night i was with my grandma and she said i was sobbing curled up in a ball on the floor dry heaving and then i just went silent and was suddenly fine. I was very exhausted today and was throwing up a lot and i didn't really know what happened until she told me. I remember last night being rough and starting to tear up a bit but that's about the extent of it. I tried retracing the things i did last night and i still don't remember that happening. Does anyone else experience this?
edit: i asked what time this happened and she said it was about 2:00am i thought i went to sleep before then but she said the lights in my room were still on and i wasn't in bed when she came in. could this be sleep walking?
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ptsd
|
I live on the third floor, under the roof. Locking the door at night and checking it multiple times has become an obsessive compulsive behaviour to me. I always find it easier to ditch a behaviour completely (=just closing the door) instead of lowering the checks to a minimum. But now I'm concerned about how obsessive or reasonable my door-locking is. So I ask you (or: the people without door-checking compulsions) what a normal, healthy behaviour would be in this case?
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OCD
|
I started taking effexor after paroxetine didn't work for me, and I've been taking it for about 8 days now and tbh I don't feel better, ik I have to wait to see results but I just want to know if anyone had good experience with it? And if u did how did it help u?
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depression
|
my depression is starting to return, for months late last year into april of this year i was severely depressed. suicide attempts by noose, addicted to smoking weed, vaping, drinking, pills. but for months over summer i felt better than ever. now, i entered sophomore year in highschool and my grades started dropping, i started lacking motivation for my favorite hobbies. i started just zoning out in school, unable to even grasp the idea of paying attention. i started cutting recently and i feel like it relieves the pain, the stress, anxiety. my 2 other friends who have done it before started to talking to me about it, and i wish i never told them. they’re talking to me like a therapist, like someone who’s never done it before. yet they have. they’re coming off as someone who i can’t relate to, knowing i very well can. it just fuels my drive for suicide even more. i feel like a burden to everyone around me.
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depression
|
Sorry for formatting, I’m on mobile.
I don’t often get crushes or like people enough to get into relationships. However, recently I made it official with someone that I really like and I’m really happy at the moment because of it. The issue is, I feel like I’m hyperfocusing on the person and the relationship, to the point of abandoning everything else.
I’m a university student, and finals are rapidly approaching. I have a lot to do for school and my job, but instead I’m spending my not-so-free time with them, or daydreaming about them, or messaging them, etc.
The hyperfocus makes it feel like nothing else really matters right now. Since I’m getting my dopamine fix from them, my motivation for everything else is at an all time low.
I guess I’m just wondering if anybody has any tips for pulling myself out of the relationship hyperfocus (without pulling myself out of the relationship ofc lol) so that applying myself to school and work is a bit easier again.
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ADHD
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I took Ritalin 10mg today and it was a weird sort of thing. I didn't feel anything until 45 minutes into it and then my heartbeat started to increase and I started having a cold sweat. And then I started to feel very sleepy. A couple of times my focus just went on some spot in the room and my eyes would just fix on it without thinking. I didn't feel I could study or do anything like that. I finally gave in and slept for about 45 minutes. The sleep itself was very weird like my brain was sleep and hyper functioning at the same time. It was like I was awake and asleep at the same time.
After waking up I drank cold coffee( I know you shouldn't do that) but didn't do anything else. I did feel that the prolonged drowsiness from sleeping that I usually have was gone.
I then talked to my mother for whole 2.5 hours and I could continue but now she was getting tired. She did notice I sounded more 'happy' I guess. She asked if something good had happened and I told her about the Ritalin.
After five hours, my mind is clear and I don't feel depressed but I didn't get anything done.
Also I lost all appetite and now I'll probably force myself to eat something.
Overall the experience was not bad but it didn't give me that focus. I'll still give it more time though
Edit: is all this normal ? Also is there a way that I could increase its effectiveness?
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ADHD
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I can’t remember anything. Not conversations I had last week or I hallucinate things that didn’t actually happen. How are we supposed to finish school with bad memory loss?
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ptsd
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My OCD conflicts with my faith, my faith conflicts with my OCD and it all just feels wrong. I used to enjoy my faith and spirituality and now it just brings guilt and distress. It just all sucks cause I love my faith but now it’s the thing that’s bringing me the most pain.
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OCD
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In *The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome*, Tony Attwood mentions that many children with Asperger's focus more on the physical world than the mental world of themselves and others. For example, typical children during recess may be playing a game of soccer together, while the kid with Asperger's is off to the side, fascinated with the drainage system (how excess water is drained during rainfall, say).
He says that children with Asperger's may focus on parts of objects, and find objects more interesting than people. This can lead to engineering knowledge and other useful things, but can also result in a lack of understanding of how people think, feel, and interact.
Would you say that you fit this pattern, or at least did when you were younger? Although not everyone with Asperger's seems to fit this pattern, it does seem to supply at least one hypothesis about why Asperger's leads to social problems. Hyperfocus (having special interests) is a big part of Asperger's, and if you hyperfocus on the physical world (like an engineer) instead of the mental world of yourself and others, then surely you'll end up missing big chunks of understanding. It can be a matter of lack of practice, maybe partially irreversible if that lack of practice occurred during a critical period, or maybe totally reversible with dedicated study and focus.
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aspergers
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I recently developed a fear of sleeping thanks to my health OCD. I'm convinced that if I fall asleep I'll die and no one will be around to help me. It's terrifying and I'm just, exhausted.
Does anyone have any coping mechanisms for this? I would love to try some out. Thanks.
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OCD
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It’s about taboo ocd. Please I feel like I deserve to die
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OCD
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I feel like I’ve turned off my verbal pain responses and I don’t know how to turn them back on because they’ve been off so damn long. My mother would scream at me if I was in pain or having panic attacks or crying.
How the hell do I turn my damn verbal pain responses back on? I can be in so much damn pain and still not have the ability to say, “Ow!!” Or “Fuck that hurts!!”
I honestly scare myself when I’m in pain at this point now that I’ve realized it with my CFS and I don’t know what to do because I downplay my pain so much and then end up in worse pain…
And when I do say Ow! It sounds forced and unnatural to me because I don’t have practice with verbal pain responses.
Edit: Thank you all so much for responses, I’m trying to reply to them as much as I can! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
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ptsd
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I fantasize about leaving everything and having a fresh start in a place where no one knows me. Nothing will miss me, and i wont miss anything in my current life. I can leave all my possessions except my phone and money ofc. Maybe write a goodbye letter to my parents. Im infatuated with this idea.
This is kinda akin to suicidal ideation where a personhates their current life and wants to end it, but im wondering is this is sorta the same thing but less extreme?
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depression
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Hi, not entirely sure if this is the right place to post this, but i’ve been diagnosed with 1st level ASD at 20. I’ve started opening up about it to family and friends, because the diagnosis has really shone some light on my life, and why i never really felt like i fit in or why i never had many friends. Anyways, i’ve had some mixed reactions to my telling people this. My boyfriend has been my rock through all this, because he already suspected that i might have ASD before i was even diagnosed. My parents have been very accepting of it too. However, my siblings don’t believe me and keep telling me to get a second opinion. They seem annoyed when i mention it, but right now it’s a big realization that i want to talk about with my family. Some of my friends have been very supportive, but for the most part they just say that it’s not true or that “everyone’s a little autistic”. That one is especially frustrating. I think i’ve become so good at masking my neurodivergency having just thought i was weird for my whole life, that people don’t necessarily see how different i’ll act sometimes. Anyways, i could really use some advice on this, as i don’t want to have to provide several psychiatrists diagnoses every time i tell someone that i’m autistic.
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aspergers
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This isn’t an attack on everyone just I feel like I have to ask this. Comment only if you want to help or post your only agreement and why you agree
Why do people with Aspergers/autism feel like they have to attack one anther? I feel like I sometimes get attacked from other people in the spectrum then I do with NT’s. Do people in the spectrum feel better for attacking others also in the spectrum? I just can’t understand why it happens? Do you guys agree or maybe explain it to me so I can understand better why it happens a lot?
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aspergers
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I’ve been dealing with different kinds of ocd for a while now, all having to do with doing something morally wrong. For the last month I’ve been terrified that I thought about hurting my mom in times of anger and just can’t remember, and eventually I just accepted that yeah, maybe I did have those thoughts in the past but I know that I don’t have any memory of them now and that I’d never hurt her. Skip to today, I’ve been having intrusive thoughts whenever my mom is irritated at me or whenever I THINK she is, and and just random moments. For the first part I’m terrified of thinking something rude about her at any time, especially when angry, and sometimes I get thoughts like mean ones calling her names when I feel slightly annoyed and that appear right after I realize I feel a little annoyed or the moment I start checking to see if I’m having thoughts. So I label that as intrusive. But then, I was more annoyed one day and my mom asked me to help her out away tools in a tone that ticked me off and but I told myself, don’t outwardly show that you’d rather be in your room and just help her so she doesn’t feel worse. But then when I picked up the tool I had a flashing image of myself hurting her and instantly yelled “NO” inside my head but I did not want to think that and most obviously didn’t want to DO that. So since then everyday I feel terrified around her, just checking and analyzing every thought and feeling and it happened again today, where I asked my mom a question and heard her say “what.” in a tone that would’ve made me feel irritated, but I knew she didn’t actually say that and my brain sent me a flashing image of me slapping her and I said “NO” again, but this one felt more real than the other one… idk I guess it felt more like a physical sensation or something I would’ve wanted to do rather than just an intrusive thought. (Btw I’ve had those moments before where I’ve had a slight urge to like slap my moms arm or leg when I’m irritated by her)
This terrifies me. The fact that in the past I’ve had the thought and felt the physical urge to slap her or yell or something horrible when I was angry, and that I didn’t think anything of it at the time because they weren’t intrusive is so fucking scary. Idk what to do
One more thing was that I was walking into my house after the long day that was today, (and after that thought/urge trigger earlier with the question I asked and her response) I felt so tired and worried and just wanted to go to my room and get away from my mom so I couldn’t have the possibility of hurting her. I banged my head on the garage door which normally would piss me off a ton, but I kinda just said “you didn’t open the garage door enough” to my mom and walked inside and laughed a little. My dog greeted me and started going crazy in between my feet and almost tripped me and I said “coco don’t trip me or I’m gonna lose it” since I’d already hit my head before and was t feeling super happy about it.
I guess my fear is that when I was with my mom that that urge or intrusive thought or whatever was real, and what that means about me. How do I cope with the possibility that sometimes I have the urge or feel like slapping my mom when I’m not in a good mood? And how to I cope with me saying “I’m gonna lose it” in regards to my dog almost tripping me. I feel like a dangerous person. I know for a fact that I’ve never ever hit my mom, ever, but I do know that I’ve had the flashing thought and urge to do so when I was angry in the past. How do I deal with that???
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OCD
|
Hey everyone! I am a 28m & have recently began accepting my ADHD diagnoses. I was originally diagnosed when I was 10, but just compartmentalized it as fake; I must just be lazy, unmotivated, [insert self-blame]. For 18 years I’ve just white knuckled everything. Felt like it took me twice as much effort to do mediocre work. Finally connected the dots that this is ADHD & not just me being a scumbag, which was incredibly relieving, but also frustrating.
I have an insatiable appetite when it comes to new possibilities, hobbies, interests, etc. which is incredibly rewarding in my personal life, but an absolute shitshow in my professional life. I have been working in sales since I graduated college, which is fine for the first 6 months of the new job, but after that period (sometimes shorter) I find myself firing off new career paths like a western gunslinger.
Corporate America is out, I am going to be a firefighting ski bum. That’s all good, but I really need to become a Uber successful entrepreneur! How about an avalanche observation worker? It feels incredibly immature to have so many wacky ideas in the old noggin, but they feel so real. And ultimately they make me dislike my job even more. “If it wasn’t for this stupid job I’d be well on my way to X career!”
I have decided to try to pick a field I’ve actually been interested in. But am terrified the pattern will continue into areas I’ve put on a pedestal. Does anyone else feel this way or am I just a man-child? If you do, have you ever successfully broken this wheel?
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ADHD
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I’ve always known that I’m an emotional person but I’ve recently noticed to what an extreme extent it affects me.
I don’t know if this is how everyone works but I feel like my whole world shifts depending on how I feel. Like I dont have real opinions as it’s all dependent on what I feel at the moment/the moment I learnt or got to know about it. Does this make sense? Instead of reacting to things at face value, it gets stuck in my web of uncontrollable feelings and thus I tend to be a social cameleont.
I am very forgetful, I can’t remember movies, songs, titles, names, faces etc. but I always remember what I felt about a certain thing. I know if I liked something and I can sort of describe exactly how something made me feel, but I never remember the actual substance of it.
It kinda feels like I’m not in control of things as everything is dependent on what I feel, and I can’t control my feelings.
I kinda just needed to rant. I’ve come to terms with the fact that this is how I function, but it’s often extremely overwhelming and I feel like my core person is like, fluid? It’s confusing to live this way.
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ADHD
|
Hey all, This is my first post after snooping around for some time.
I just wanted to see if there is someone who goes through similar things I do.
I had problems and anxiety regarding my appearance for my whole life even though people tell me, that I look fine/ok but since about four years this anxiety has mostly shifted to my hair.
I am constantly worrying about if I am really losing my hair or not (checking multiple times in the mirror, comparing photos for hours, counting all the hair I loose over the day and comparing myself to others).
This has turned into a real obsession and on some days it is the only thing I think about, and it is really impacting my personal life, work life and sanity overall.
I feel like I have to convince myself multiple times every single day.
I try to resist and let the thoughts just be in my head/fade away, but it is just too exhausting.
Thank you.
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OCD
|
My two siblings and including myself all have ADHD. Our food goes down very quickly. This lead us to find out that each of us has a serious binge eating problem. Maybe it is just a coincidence or maybe its not. My friend who has ADHD says she binge eats to the point she feels sick.
So I was wondering...could binge eating be linked to ADHD? It would make sense. Us people with ADHD are under stimulated and so when were bored we try to find anything to stimulate us, that has to include eating right? Because in a way food makes us feel good, boosting more stimulation.
Like sometimes I can't watch something without eating. My siblings have this same problem too. It's odd. What do you think?
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ADHD
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You know, when in history, you learn about all of those kings and princes, who century by century continue to make the same mistakes, like everything is one big circle? Well, fuck me, because I've officially become a hamster, running for my worthless life.
*\[For context, I'm 16, been struggling with depression and anxiety since I was around 12. Also, my English's shit and my writing ability is non-existent, so sorry if something is incorrect or whatever\]*
I am so done. I've been trying to get better, I've really been, but no matter what I do, I always return to the same place. It might take a month, a quarter, a year, but in the end, I can never escape the circle of depression. If that makes sense.
During the last year, my mental health has reached its peak. I finally had some time to work on myself, but as it turns out, I've been treating the symptoms rather than the cause of my shitty mental state. And here I am, ready to call it quits, because if things get worse, or they will be even worse than the 1st year of high school ( worst time of my life), I will not make it through winter. And the fact I don't really have anyone to rely on doesn't help one bit.
So, my question is, is there any way to stop this fucking circle of depression? And make sure you can stay sane for longer than 10 months?
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depression
|
I'm on disability for autism and ptsd and since getting approved and getting my check and card, I actually smiled for the first time in my life. A real smile. I know how to fake smile and I didn't realize that any time I've smiled without meaning to, it wasn't real. Until that one real smile, the sides of my mouth tickled, which never happened before. Maybe I have real smiled before and just wasn't happy enough?
Anyway... I want to get even happier. I got a new computer and vr headset because I heard that can help a lot, but I've seen so many people suggest a therapist.
But... I have agoraphobia as well as ptsd and going out is a nightmare and every time I go out I'm in bed for a day or two after. So does anyone know a good online therapy site? Or if there's in home therapy?
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ptsd
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Overheard coworkers talking yesterday about anxiety/depression screenings. How prevalent they were with routine health checkups and the number of questions asked.
It was weird to hear how incredulous they sounded. And I’m over in my cubicle thinking “if only you knew how much some people tried to avoid those questions and act normal despite of things then you might understand the reason behind all the questions”.
My childhood was so messed up that it’s odd thinking about people being able to go through normal life *without* being plagued with anxiety/intrusive memories/mentally freezing up.
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ptsd
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I've been experiencing symptoms of ptsd to some extent since I was a young child, starting with recurring dreams. I kept getting traumatized in different areas of my life and was finally diagnosed with ptsd recently at 21. I got triggered a couple days ago and since then I've been feeling pretty awful and debilitated. Everything feels very difficult to do and my anxiety has been really high. I have no idea what to do with myself. I had to withdraw from my university classes a little less than a month ago so school goals are all on hold. So its just been trying to continue providing for myself and working. Even then, I feel like the only thing I can do right is go to work. I'm making small strides with eating but both that and cleaning feel overwhelming. I think the reason selfcare is so difficult might be tied to emotional neglect. I'm having trouble processing it but I'm realizing emotional neglect was present and connected. I just feel lost and upset.
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ptsd
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Does anyone feel tired at the end of the day when on meds?
I started taking Ritalin since last week. The meds worked for me. I can get so much shit done at work. There is one strange side effect tho. I feel exhausted at the end of everyday. Literally exhaustion, muscle sore and all that.
I used to work out a lot, like running, HIIT and all that. Usually in the evening or early in the morning. I find it impossible to work out in the evening now.
Has anyone experience this before? Would this be a temporary effect? How do you manage it?
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ADHD
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I guess I was 9 or younger when I was assaulted by my family member he thought I was asleep and so he touched me the places I did not like. It happened often and I just pretend to be asleep, wishing it would stop. Sometimes I used to kick or pinch him, but I never spoke a single word. This continued for about 7 years I guess with intervals. I started hating nights and I am still scared of the dark. I never let him hug me or even keep his hand on my shoulder because I felt extremely uncomfortable. I always feel extremely guilty that I have always lied about not having my first kiss because I have been kissed before(i have never told anyone about this before). It all comes back to me, especially at night. I have tried self-harm multiple times (pinching myself to bleed, punching the wall, etc.)
But this isn’t even the worst part, the worst part is that I talked about all of this to my mother and she chooses not to do anything about it. She just asked me to “be normal’’ about it as she wants me to have a good relation with him. I did try therapy but I had to leave it mid-way because my mother asked me to. So that did not work out either. I have trouble getting intimate or even trust someone and I just do not know what to do about it. If anyone can suggest to me some way to cope with this it would be great.
PS: this is my first post ever on Reddit so I really hope I haven’t mentioned anything off-limits.
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ptsd
|
Hey,
I was recently diagnosed with OCD about a month ago, though I've always had suspicions that I've had it.
One key indicator was an undeniable obsession that I'd have towards certain noises, amongst many other indicators. The first noise was from an old home video. It featured my older sister and I when we were younger. She said something indistinguishable in the video. I needed to know what she said. Not knowing what she had said had kept me up at night. It has kept me up at night in my recent years, despite me first having watched the video over five years ago. It isn't a frequently recurring thought now days as it was in the past, so I've managed.
This next sound happened recently. A few weeks ago. I saved a video of my boyfriend from Snapchat. The initial reason I saved it was because what he was doing in the video was funny. It wasn't until after I played the video back that I noticed a funny noise he had made. The second I heard it, my chest tightened. When I hear something that I absolutely know I'm going to obsess over, I know it immediately. I'm not sure how, but I know. I start playing the video over and over again, eventually becoming emotional. I know I need to delete the video or else I'd spend an irational amount of time replaying the five second clip to hear the noise he made. I make sure to delete it from my trash bin so that I could never recover it.
It's currently about 4:20 a.m as I'm typing this. I spent the entire night searching ways to potentially recover this video, trying over ten "recovery apps". I need to hear the noise he made, or so I feel like I need to hear it. It's causing me emotional distress, and for what? It literally doesn't matter, but the sound lives rent free in my head.
I started seeing a therapist regarding my OCD, but they haven't been much help. I hope to find a new one eventually. Has anyone experienced something like this? How do you cope, because I'm literally losing it. I think the recurring yearning to hear the noise will subside with time, but since it's still fresh, it's killing me.
Thanks in advance.
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OCD
|
this year has been rough, despite covid i’ve been through more downs than ups. i lost my job, gained it back and then got let go because of budget cuts, i had a falling out with one of my best friends since highschool realising he was never my friend, almost lost my brother to jail, got contacted and abandoned by my father AGAIN, lost my beautiful aunt on my birthday only to find out months later she passed away, went through one of the toughest break ups alone and literally got my house broken into last night.
when i was 18 i had this horrible numbness, i fought through it and came out on top. im now 21 and it’s back. during my break up and my brothers trial i felt that familiar feeling, the daily wave of pure soulless horror. my comforts became tedious, everything became meaningless, i was alone. it hurts and idk when i’ll feel better again but i’m really proud of myself for fighting. sure everything feels meaningless and i feel nothing daily, but i wake up. i never give myself credit but im getting through one of the toughest times i’ve faced, there might be worse to come but im stronger than i was when i was 18.
for everyone who’s facing depression, i’m proud of you all! you’re all trying and that’s a start!
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depression
|
Would I be called out for not saying what my trauma is if everyone else does and if I don’t in a therapy group?
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ptsd
|
For a long time my therapist has said I had a lot of OCD tendencies but she never referred me to get a diagnosis (I think its because they are short staffed and they dont usually do referrals) and I was wondering how I should go about actually getting a diagnosis. She, along with other online therapists, agree that I "probably have OCD". She just wont refer me to get an official diagnosis because its something they dont do much in that office.
I'm thinking of seeing an OCD specialist.
Another reason I want this so badly is because i want to make it clear to myself that all of those fears arent true. I absolutely HATE the fact that right when I'm realizing what a huge span OCD has taken up (realizing certain months/years of fear were ocd themes, etc) OCD latches onto itself. By that I mean that lately I've been afraid everything I've thought intrusively has all been true secretly. it is incredibly annoying.
I just want something to blame for all of this immense pain *other than myself.* For so long I blamed myself, and being in this in between is so weird because i constantly feel like i "dont truly have ocd".
That being said, let me know your thoughts on me getting an ocd specialist, or anything else I should do.
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OCD
|
Hi everyone. ive recently been diagnosed with clinical depression and am in the midst of getting medicated. however, ive been taking vyvanse 30 mg for the past (almost) 3 years now. Can this make my mental health worse? will I gain weight from the antidepressants even while taking vyvanse? do the two drugs counteract each other? if you’ve had experience, i’d appreciate it if you could share! thank you
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ADHD
|
Currently dealing with 30 questions about how it affects me from the NHS. I also let slip in the first round of questions the word "anxiety" and now they are mining me for information about that too
fuck I did nothing differently for this job than any other job, but they decided to be difficult. was due to start on Monday and I am still answering questions for the bureaucracy rather than for my health.
Time to go back into the mental health closet and pretend to be neurotypical for the man
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ADHD
|
Hi all!
I'm sorry if this post is a bit out of place, but it's the middle of the night for me and there's not really anyone to talk to. So I'm hoping someone here would be kind enough to offer their opinion.
Just for context I'm a 22 year old male with no documented mental health history aside from a disputed Aspergers diagnosis.
I've never considered myself seriously depressed. Like everyone I go through ups and downs, and controlling the frequency of those ups and downs has been harder than dealing the feelings they bring.
At times I've considered seeking professional help because in spite of having a great life, with my largest complaint being that I stress about time management, I often find myself with a creeping suspicion that something about my state of mind is... Dull? Somewhere between discouraged and grieving, I suppose?
Anyway, not to get off topic, one thing I've noticed since I was very young is that cute things leave me deeply sad. Stuffed animals, animated creatures, most things with big eyes, small things that represent innocence or purity. Even my own dogs, or my sister's children when they were newborns. They just make me sad, despite my love for them.
For the longest time I didn't think a ton of it. My theory was that cute things represent innocence and I'm sad that none of us can maintain ours forever.
But after 15 or so years of noticing this, I've noticed that the only people I know who have echoed this have all ended up seeking clinical help. That makes me wonder if I'm used to this issue to a point that I don't recognize its severity.
I'm considering the option of seeing a professional, but I recently moved to a country where mental healthcare isn't exactly robust, so that will be a bigger process than typing this out.
I'd appreciate any thoughts anyone can offer. Thanks for taking the time to read it all!
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depression
|
Well tbh I don’t even know. I seen a lot of people with harm ocd but I have it with guns. Don’t get me wrong I have ocd just saying like punch that person or stab your mom. But with the guns is stronger. It’s like I feel like when I move out I can easily get a gun and become a mass murderer. I try to say I can control myself but it feels like I can’t
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OCD
|
last night I dreamt about making up with someone who seriously fucked me up during the aftermath of me witnessing the suicide of (for simplicity) my girlfriend about 3 and a half years ago.
She was a friend of hers and an acquaintance of mine, and she was pretty fucking awful.
I’m pretty sure she spread a rumor that I waited 2hours before calling 911, which isn’t true at all. We called as soon as we had a full realization of what happened, probably about 2minutes.
She blames me for “letting her”
she blames me for “having her to myself” that night because she claims she was “supposed” to be at a birthday party that night where she “would have been able to get real help”
at the funeral I was talking to someone there about a sentimental thing that meant a lot, something really sweet that she (gf) had done, and here comes the friend from hell. She stood right between us and looked me in the eye saying “oh, I wanna hear this” with a fucking attitude and making it seem like I was bullshitting.
She’s said things like “I wish I was there I would’ve handled it so much better than you”
Hearing that someone envied the worst fucking thing that ever happened to you is awful. So anyway this ones a real winner right?
last night I apologized to her in my dream but it makes no sense cause I didn’t do shit to her!!!!!! She fucked me up!!! She spread lies about meeeeee!
apologizing to her would be taking blame for the things she thinks I should be blamed for and you know what? It’s not my fucking fault.
my gf made her choice, I did what was realistically in my power, and it changed nothing. She’s gone. She wanted to be gone.
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ptsd
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Not all of these people are uneducated as far as History, Science, etc goes, but many of the most popular are...and they teach kids fashion sense, how to dance, and how to sing. Which, in itself, isn’t bad. Yet the mainstream media reports their every Tweet, their every Facebook post, their every public statement regarding climate change, the economy, foreign affairs, etc. I may even agree with the majority of what they say...still, people should focus more on what the experts have to say. Rappers, actors, and comedians don’t belong on CNN and MSNBC.
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aspergers
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I do this a lot. One the the things I've noticed with my own adhd is when I'm in verbal conversation with someone, I will often have a difficult time adequately conveying my thoughts to them with words. The reason I've found is because in my mind I'll have some train of thought that starts at point a, then goes to point b, then c, and all the way up to z. This happens in a matter of seconds, too fast to communicate verbally, so when I put my thoughts into words I'll often jump from point a straight to point z, leaving out all the points in between that brought me to point z. I do this without even realizing it, and as a result some of the things I say out loud just don't make sense and lack context, but they totally do in my own mind. The reason I bring this up is because it makes me wonder if this is the same process that causes me to skip over letters or words when writing and typing. It's like my brain is processing more thoughts than it can output via written or verbal language. Like having a super fast cpu that can output 200 frames per second but a monitor that can only output 60. I wonder if this could also be why I feel like I can express myself so much better through music? With my guitar I can instantly convert what I'm feeling into musical form, downloading every thought and emotion into the notes on my guitar without leaving anything out.
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ADHD
|
*You’ll never guess what happened next* (Sorry for clickbate title.)
Hey everyone, turns out that even when using a pill organizer, and keeping it properly stocked, problems can still happen. Went to bed at midnight, then this “morning” I woke up, and in the morning haze thought it was between 6-7 am (checked my watch, I swear) popped my meds and lay back down a bit. Suddenly I wake back up and realize that it’s only about 2 am. I’d just taken a dose of Vyvanse some time around 1:45 am 🤦♂️ . Wow, that’s a new one. Was able to nap a bit and now I’m at work on ~3 cumulative hours of sleep.
Guess I’ll have to keep the organizer just out of reach or my bed from now on… not particularly looking for advice, although I’ll take it 😀, just thought I’d share a silly anecdote. Hoping to change meds to one that doesn’t have Vyvanse’s annoying two hour induction time, so I won’t be tempted to take them as soon as I wake up again.
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ADHD
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i just want to be happy man. i lost interest in everything. all i do all day is play tetris and cry. i dont wanna talk to people or anything and i dont even know why anymore. nothings getting better its just getting worse. i cant help myself. i told myself i’d never harm myself but its really getting to that point. all my parents do is mock me for being sad and get mad at me for not doing my responsibilities. what the fuck is wrong with me. i even take meds and go to therapy but nothing fucking helps. fuck my life. how do i just end this all. i didnt think my life would be at its worst at fucking 14 years old.
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depression
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Want to taper of meds, what ways of coping with depression symptoms, negative feeling and suicidal ideation do you know?
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depression
|
I have autism, level 2.
I need supervision and care, my iq is below 60.
I can’t drive because I struggle with directions and short term memory, I’m very slow. If it makes you feel any better just know there are people who can’t drive at all, like me.
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aspergers
|
Ok, I’m so fcking done rn. I’m not going to slave for some stupid organisation that has disgusting idiots living there. I’m not going to slave away for society bc I didn’t finish college. Fck that shit. Yeah I’m not going to sit and take people’s bs
|
depression
|
Man even writing this post is giving me anxiety, I never want to see another porn video again, all porn has given me this last couple months is more and more problems, like you guys don’t understand how much it scares me, I’m pretty sure it’s because my brain took notes of all the porn related things that happened to me (like all the times I’ve checked certain porn and it backfired, or times where I had intrusive thoughts while doing the deed) and now associates it with fear but is this just avoidance? It’s good to quit porn but this might just be a bad idea since I’ll just keep getting more scared of it. I like women but seeing them now doing anything remotely sexual just gives me intrusive thoughts and fills me with dread, I don’t know what to do, every time I watch porn now (not a lot) I’m always cautious and obsessive about what I’m going to accidentally stumble on and what I might accidentally masturbate to or what I might accidentally orgasm to, or if my thoughts are going to make me masturbate to something messed up, I used to never think about this stuff but now I’m constantly paranoid, I never want to watch it again
|
OCD
|
My older sister is 36 years old she's been depressed for years now . Dropped out of school in 20's and she just spiralled . She has always had low self esteem and insecurity problems . She finds comfort in food and eating, she also has a tv show character that she's been obsessed with since she was a teen and she spends a lot of her time daydreaming about them. I think she hears voices in her head sometimes because i see her having conversations with herself and making strange faces and she does this at any time even if she is talking to someone in person. I'm very worried for her, she does not live in reality. I think she has a lot of undiagonsed issues. I an 22 and i have my own mental health problems ...i suffer from depression too but its not as bad as her . She had no job , no friends....no goals nothing. She is literally dead already and just existing . Its a very sad situation , she needs help so badly but my parents dont see it as mental illness...they would never understand. I don't know what is going to become of her and her life. I too am fighting my own struggles but its sad to see someone else just disintegrate before my eyes. Crazy thing is i dont think she is suicidal at least she has never expressed any intent or tried to kill herself. I have done that before but she never has and her life is so much worse than mine. I don't know how she is surving or what keeps her going. Living in her head must be hell on earth ! I am so serious , i wonder what thoughts she has inside her head because i just dont see how she carries on, even just staying alive. She is completely defeated and broken down. She will not get better on her own or anytime soon. I think she is too far gone... its so scary. I thought i was bad and i know you can't really compare struggles but it really puts things into persepective. I think i am lucky enough to have somethings that keeps me tethered to reality , no matter how bad it gets and it has gotten very bad ...like i have a few friends i can talk to...i have some goals i think i want to achieve for myself..i want my life to get better somehow. I dont think she has any of that. She has nothing at all. How can someone live like this? How is this possible? Being human is the most terrifying thing ever , i hate that there are people in this world who have to live like this. I hate that people are just suffering with no way out. Why does it have to be this way? Why are people just put on earth and they suffer all of their life ?? Why?? Why is it so bad for some people??? Is there any reason at all? Is this all some big fucking joke? Does nothing even matter at all?? Sorry i just had to vent and if you read all of this thank you. I'm just so tired of everything.
|
depression
|
https://www.boredpanda.com/obvious-hint-from-girls-guy-missed/
This explains exactly why us Aspies never get dates or get laid. We don't get the hints that NT's use.
Don't be dropping hints at me. If you wanna go out, just say it.
|
aspergers
|
This is pretty vague so it doesn’t trigger anyone, but even saying this out loud is helpful. I don’t think I could even say it again.
I’m pretty open about my traumas. I’ve always found a way to survive along side them, though in part that rides on dissociation. Before, my dissociation kept me going but it was unhealthy. I was doing well with therapy, acceptance, and tools.
There’s this one thing that happened when I was much younger. This is the tough one. This is the one I feel shame for and haven’t been able to feel that it wasn’t my fault. It’s not. I know that all of this is not my fault. My brain understands, but my soul won’t listen.
I haven’t been sleeping because when my body rests, I can’t fight the memory away. I have a mix of feelings right now because on one hand, I said it aloud. On the other hand, I’ve never been able to because the shame makes it feel like it will be a mark on my soul. It plagues me.
My therapist said that it might be coming up because I’m stronger now that I’ve worked through a lot of the other things, but if that’s the case then why do I feel so crushed by this.
So I don’t know why I’m posting this, but I’m proud I said it. Thank you for listening and I’m sending love to all.
|
ptsd
|
I have OCD and one of my obsessions is that if I have earbuds, headphones, or a headset on, everything *must* play through each ear at the same volume. If one side is just a bit louder than the other it sets me off. My ears are more sensitive than most so it is even easier for me to pick up on these nuanced differences.
I've had this Playstation 3 Gold headset since it came out and it has been my best friend when gaming for years because it is the *only* headset I have ever found that meets this need. I've tried just about everything when it comes to finding a new headset because this one has been on its last leg for a long time and it finally died on me earlier tonight.
In short, does anyone have recommendations for a headset that might solve this problem of mine?
|
OCD
|
Now. I am 18 and I don't have a driving test yet and I am not doing it in the nearest time possible. Anyway I "suffer" from ocd since 5th grade on elementary school and it holds onto me every since.
I would like to have my own car, to drive, to travel with my family or friends but back in my mind, something tells me "What will happen, if you jumped out of the car" or "what will happen, if you drive over this person". To be honest, even though it's just my visions of future I truly believe that this would happen and I don't want to harm myself and mostly someone else. I joke around that, if I had a car, I would drive right into a tree, because that "something" is just here and it wants to see, what can happen if you do something not corresponding with laws and morals.
I am not schizophrenic in any case, but this really bugs me and scares me to say in the very least
|
OCD
|
Why?
1. Not being in control of a situation or myself is one of my worse fears. Any time EMDR has been described to me, I feel like it sounds like hypnotism? I hope that makes sense
2. the whole “unlocking past memories” bit scares me a lot.
3. If my brain has been protecting me all this time from these bad memories, should I really be opening that can of worms up?
What if something even worse happened to me that I cannot remember? What if I get worse?
What if I “get better” ? Will I even still be me? I don’t know what I would be like without this part of me. I’m like weirdly “scared” to loose my disorder(??) I think maybe I’ve just gotten used to it and the unknown is scary?
Idk anymore im just so scared of revisiting my trauma and getting worse
Would anyone mind sharing their thoughts on this or experiences with EMDR? I don’t know what to really do, I have an appointment with an EMDR therapist next month and im kinda terrified.
|
ptsd
|
I’m feeling pretty down right now, like I’m stuck in my head with all these painful thoughts, I just don’t know what to do anymore.
|
depression
|
It's a waste of money and time at this point. I’m coming from an abusive family that doesn't treat me any better than they did before. I got an overwhelming hefty amount of workload. Sometimes I forget that I’m a living being. I lack affection. I haven't touched a human skin informally. What can my therapist do about it? Nothing. What can I do about it? Nothing except I keep doing what I do till my body won’t take it anymore.
|
depression
|
I started taking Strattera 4 days ago, and all I have noticed are the side effects of it so far.
• To begin with, I have noticed an increase on the “brain fog”. you know that feeling when you cry your eyes out, and the next day you feel like an emotionless zombie? yeah, thats how I have been feeling. I feel so out of it and zoned out, and even my friends have noticed it.
• I am constantly either really cold, or really hot. if not one, then both. especially at night time when I am trying to sleep. I have also noticed a increase in my heart rate. my heart rate normally runs a bit faster, compared to others. but even when i’m laying down and havent moved in 10+ minutes, it feels like my heart is going to explode.
• I am still having problems with focusing, fidgetting, misplacing every fucking thing i own, forgetting things, etc. but my mind seems to maybe be a little quieter? (other than the 20+ songs that are stuck in my head 24/7)
• the dry mouth is also affecting my sleep, causing me to have that constant tickle in the back of my throat. but this isn’t the first time i’ve had a medication that has done that, so I think i’ll live.
• I also haven’t had much of an appetite. the most i’ve had in the past few days is some chicken tenders, but even then i’m not that hungry.
has anyone else experienced this? am I just overreacting, or is this a normal thing?
|
ADHD
|
I've recently discovered a phrase that really helps get me through the day, and battle the struggle with incessantly trying to distract myself. This helps me stay grounded and present.
"I can always focus more."
When I tell myself these words, I do my best to remember just how fucking amazing I am when I am focused. When I am focused, I can do anything well and I can apply this focus to even the most mundane task by being aware of each moment. Typing is a skill I can improve with focus. Cooking is something I'll improve at with focus. But to do that, I gotta stop typing and finish cooking my pizza lol.
"I can always focus more."
|
ADHD
|
Things have been rough lately. I broke up with my fiance of 5 years today. And I went to get a haircut, and the lady who cut my hair was just so nice and helpful. And I know it's small but seeing my Hair look different almost made me cry. Idk if this is is silly but it just made me feel idk. Like I shed myself and now I'm a different person. I just dont know how to feel
|
depression
|
So I've been trying to not do a compulsion for about a week and a half now, and I've noticed that in that time my intrusive thoughts have gotten a lot worse.. to the point where although I refuse to give in to my compulsion, there's a voice saying that I should just do it so the intrusive thoughts will stop.. and that I must like the intrusive thoughts to keep this going when I could just stop it if I gave into my compulsion - making me feel worse. I know that's just an OCD trick tho. I know by doing this id get a moment of clarity, although it would just make it worse in the long run. Its just hard :/
|
OCD
|
I (14 AFAB) finally got an official diagnosis! My old psychiatrist was a bit of a dick and refused to even try to see if i had ADHD (he said i couldn't have ADHD since i'm a teen and its normal to teens to not focus)
today, i got a diagnosis and meds! it feels so good to know that there is nothing wrong with me! ;)
|
ADHD
|
Hello all, recently, I got a kitten. Im a first-time cat owner and Ive found my ocd will flare up in the weirdest ways about him. I always am worried that Im abusing him. Today I grabbed him by the leg (briefly) to keep him still to pick him, and then he tried to get up on my couch and I kinda hit him with my foot lightly to try to get him to not jump up. The part I am worried about is that I hit his face with my foot, I don’t think I fully registered it was his face, and it was very light (more like a shove, not sure the difference even) and I know he was definitely not hurt.
I want to say I would never ever hurt my cat on purpose, Im just never sure if I shove him too hard or am “too rough” with him. Im not sure how to even discipline a cat to be honest - and I think a few months into getting him I gave him a light smack like on his butt or something, but Im trying to do things differently because I dont want him to be scared of me. Basically I need help, am I a bad pet owner? Do I hurt my cat? What can I do to be better??
|
OCD
|
Prime example: I was scrolling reddit when I came across [this video](https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/lnj4p8/this_face_will_not_leave_you_indifferent/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) and I’m just...crying now? Like it’s too cute and now I have to cry? I don’t know it makes zero sense
|
aspergers
|
I got triggered yesterday and have been in a constant panic attack ever since. Its 5 am. I'm restless. Tired. Cant sleep. And feel like I'm reliving every single traumatic experience I have ever been through. And there is multiple. It's like it's coming back to haunt me. I want to fully recover because I can't do this anymore. I'm pregnant. I want to emotionally be there for my baby. I'm trying to heal. But it's so hard.
|
ptsd
|
I notice I automatically do this when I am beggining to obsess, ruminate or generally feel like I am going to have a breakdown, strong reaction, strong feeling. I have to explain in details everything I am thinking and Often I am stuck texting for an hour because I keep thinking New stuff. It's like my New coping skill but I hate it. It makes people tired and I look weird even if they are my close friends. I am wasting way too much energy. Its like I am getting this weird validation by doing this. As if I am stuck in a one way street and am stuck and won't go back. At times like these I can't use distraction. I literally feel this very strong urge to get it all out of me. Journaling doesn't help because I think it doesn't give me the same validation and reassurance dare I say. I want to stop this. It's so repetitive to talk about the same insecurities, problems, ocd etc. God I need to stop but this urge is so strong. I have it right now. I feel like I need to get to the bottom of what I am feeling. I haven't slept all night because I worry I won't and therefore it become a self fullfilling propechy. My friend grew tired of me and told me I am dramatic and create my anxiety and that its my fault. She is right. I am tired of this. My wrists Hurt from typing. And my chest hurts too.
|
OCD
|
Hi,
I very often have a very uncomfortable urge to move repetitively, I can only describe it as restless leg syndrome but all over my body.
I know this is heavily related to ADHD but my question is why is it sometimes much worse and other times manageable?
What works for you? Could it be certain foods etc...
It's so uncomfortable I move joints repetitively until the point of pain because that's a nicer feeling and I'm extremely sick of it but don't know how to manage it!!
Any ideas would be much appreciated.
Thanks!
|
ADHD
|
i cant heal from the trauma and that made me cause some and i feel like a monster and i can never be honest and its constant shame and regret and im either going to kill myself or repress it so much i develop did or something. i dont want to be evil im so sorry, i didnt know how fucked up i was by things i didnt understand until it was too late
|
depression
|
It's so dangerous i feel like OCD tries to hide to stay safe help i need to express it fully and idk how which ends being misunderstood or too vague....
|
OCD
|
I know this might sound a little strange or out of place, but does anyone feel the need to ritualistically keep sleeping until they wake up and feel “clean”?
- If I have a bad dream, I must fall asleep again, no question.
- If I think of something unclean as I wake up, I have to fall asleep again.
- If I make any type of major error during my waking hours, it “pollutes” the rest of my day, so the minute I am free I must fall asleep to cleanse myself.
- If I have any sexual thought, I, again, need to fall asleep to cleanse my mind.
Unfortunately, many times these compulsions are barely doable, since I do not have infinite free time. But they are consuming a significant portion of what I do have and I spend my whole day waiting to fall asleep. And, again, maybe this is out of place, but I’m curious to see if anyone else has anything like this.
|
OCD
|
I'd appreciate any advice, please. I don't have the energy to write a novel about this problem, so I'll make it brief. My mother, who I love more than anything, has bipolar and I'm having a very hard time with this. She won't take her medicine. If anyone has been or is in a similar place, I'd love some feedback, please.
-
Edit : thank you for the advice, friends. I appreciate your help 💜
Edit 2: sorry for the late response. I'm not a minor and never meant to scare anyone. I'm living on my own. Thank you for the kind comments
|
aspergers
|
I’m asking because I’m not very sure, but I was in a mildly traumatizing situation recently. And I don’t know if I’m just paranoid or if I’m showing signs of ocd and I don’t want to self diagnose myself.
|
OCD
|
Hey !
Do u gays have/have had thoughts like: what if i dont need to start therapy and taking meds ? What if its my new way to live?
Its so scary i know i want to start but this thoughts say no
Btw today therapist prescribed me resperidon and fevarin and im so scary to start
|
OCD
|
Im 33 and had good grades my whole life so ADHD was never suspected. I have an extreme motivation problem, where I only get things done if there is essentially a gun to my head. I figured this was due to anxiety/depression , so my dr prescribed prozac for me, but the results were terrible and I decided that Im not comfortable taking antidepressants. my dr suggested exploring stimulants as a way to keep me motivated . My issue is that im a single mother of 2 very young kids and i need to have a lot of patience with them. I was hoping the prozac would help me be less of a yeller . I've only taken the ritalin once (10mg) and I noticed that I def felt more focused and like I could get shit done, however it made me extremely irritable and more anxious than my usual baseline. Is there something I can take that will motivate me like stimulants do but not make me an angry shittier mom?
|
ADHD
|
This is my first post and I'm really new to this. At the moment I'm in a bad place, lying in my bed, heart pounding, afraid of university. Recently I have troubles eating, problems finding sleep and I'm unsure about my future. I also have constant suicidal thoughts since years, but I use them to feel better and never acted on them. I also had professional help a few years ago and got diagnosed with social anxiety and hyper sensibility. I'm not sure if this could also be an undiscovered case of depression, which is really hard to grasp for me, since I can write this almost emotionless (which I'm definitely not always), while my body clearly tells me something is wrong. Any advice what I could do or try would be really appreciated, thank you!
|
depression
|
Also, it's way too embarassing. Talking about those compulsions
|
OCD
|
When I'm depressed, although I feel like shit, I'm alot more calm and I do less stupid shit. When I'm not depressed I think I'm so funny and usually embarrass myself, I also make last minute decisions like quit my job or I'll break my phone on purpose just because I think I need a break from it.
|
depression
|
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