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Hi all,
Does anyone ever have intrusive thoughts accompanied by physical sensations? In my case it’s physical nausea. Not in the sense of “that’s so disgusting I feel sick” as in I actually feel queasy.
Is there a way to manage this? I understand with ERP you are not supposed to react, but it is difficult to function day to day while dealing with both nausea and intrusive thoughts. | OCD |
You’re always reminded by other people, tv and movies that if you just stick around and continue moving forward it will get better. But what if it just doesn’t? What if this depressive empty feeling in my chest never gets filled. What do I do then? I just keep doing what I’m doing. Pretending to be happy. Waking up 5 am everyday for work to pay fucking bills just so I can live my depressive comfortable life. But what if all this is for not. And in the end all I’m doing is faking this imaginary happy lifestyle I have every fucking day just so I can die a lone, sad and slow when I’m 50. Why can’t I just feel nothing. I can live with that. If I can just be completely emotionless life would be bearable. But instead there is this hidden feeling of sadness that constantly reminds me of how absolutely fucking depress I am. I don’t want to die. I just want to feel normal… | depression |
I stood in the rain for 40 minutes instead of going to my lectures and then went back to my dorm(that I never stay at) and now I'm sitting here like a dumbass. I feel so guilty knowing my parents spent money on this because I geniunely hate this major and it's been making my depression hell. I walked into an art store and I almost cried because this only thing I had going in my life and I did nothing with it, the only thing I feel is keeping me alive. Now I'm stuck with maths and programming and seeing people passionate when I know nothing and understand nothing. I've always been depressed but it's been a while I've had this kind of legitimate sadness that it brings me to tears almost everyday. I don't know who to turn to, I don't know who to talk to. Im geniunely thinking I might not make it long even though I don't really want to end it all, but I feel so hopeless. | depression |
I’m a senior in high school, straight As, 33 ACT and really the option to go just about anywhere with my life. But I frankly don’t want to live and don’t know where to go with my life. I feel like I don’t have any passions, anything that I feel like I live for. Nothing to make a dream career or work towards. Up to this point I have just been taking classes across the board to graduate and be well rounded for when I do figure it out. But now life is getting real, I know I should go to college but I don’t even know where to begin. I don’t know how to find a career I can follow that brings me joy. Any advice because I just feel so hopeless. | depression |
I've come across various posts online about how stimulants used to treat ADHD cause accelerated ageing of the heart and skin when abused, for example the hardening of arteries in the heart.
Is this still true for people who do not abuse such stimulants?
I'm on Vyvanse 50mg daily and am extremely paranoid about ageing and coming to terms with it. Any and all input would be greatly appreciated. | ADHD |
My partner has ADHD and he doesn't have a lot of relationship experience. He has avoided relationships his whole life until he met me and he's super attached to me. We have a couple communication and intimacy issues in our relationship and he seems to not be able to read me. I'm just wondering if people with ADHD struggle to read people? The other day I was starting to think he has ASD, but I don't want to jump to conclusions. | ADHD |
Hi, I’m struggling with intrusive thoughts and obsessions about harm but i tried looking online about this type of ocd but haven’t found anything.
I’ve always had the belief that I was a people pleaser… it’s hard for me to say no to people , It’s also hard for me to put boundaries and talk frankly to people even when they are being mean or abusive.
But through a lot of research this last year, I’ve started to look into my people leasing habits and noticed that when I’m talking to someone I will automatically think that if I’m not nice to them or act like I’m happy with anything they say or do, then they will harm me …
I just had an episode with me talking to a man on the phone for work and he’s pretty old and was obviously flirting , talking with me for half an hour asking weird questions .
I felt awkward but kept laughing and being nice when all I wanted to do was hang up this Damn phone.
But …. I JUST COULDNT … There was this fear , these thoughts and images of him knowing where I live and coming to harm me, burn my house down.. poison my dogs… all these thoughts and fears kept on and on while I was talking to him.
It was like if I wasn’t nice to him then these things would come true.
And I get that almost everytime I’m in a situation where Im talking to someone . I HAVE TO BE NICE AND AGREEABLE even if it’s not what I want.
I get so annoyed with myself , I get angry and mad… my husband also finds it weird. I can understand why.
I always thought that I was just a pushover, a people pleaser coz I have low self esteem. I’ve been on talk therapy for a while and I know I have very bad self esteem.
But this last year I’ve tried to stand up for myself and that’s when I noticed that the fear behind this people pleasing and these thoughts were really something else completely.
I have ocd since childhood, all sorts but this … it’s another thing I noticed a little while ago.
I’ve noticed also that harm ocd is about us hurting someone else … is this harm ocd or magical thinking?
Sorry for asking here … I’m still looking for a good ocd therapist and my actual therapist isn’t well versed into ocd and does only talk therapy for trauma. | OCD |
I’m having a time. I know I’ll get better but I have to weather through this bad patch.
A new fun thing is I’m keeping my jaw clenched so tightly I have broken a tooth in the last week and for real my jaw mussels have gotten so big it’s changing my face shape. My partner actually pointed it out yesterday.
I have a mouth guard for when I sleep now. But it’s happening a lot when I’m awake too. Anyone got this under control? Any tips? | ptsd |
Does anyone have major triggers, but can't figure out what the corresponding trauma is?
For example, extremely loud and accelerating sounds make me feel like I am about to die. For example, a motorcycle revving its engine, an unexpected fighter jet flying overhead, low frequency rumbling sounds that sound like they're getting closer and closer. When I hear these sounds I think the world is ending. As a kid I was terrified of nuclear shockwaves, tidal waves, and forest fires, and when I'd hear those sounds, that's what I thought was happening. Now I just feel like I am going to die.
I have *no* idea where this response comes from. But my heart rate spikes, my chest gets warm and tight, and I crouch down and hide. | ptsd |
Made an earlier post where I was kinda pissed that my doctor prescribed me a type of antidepressant (Remeron) because it was known to drastically increase appetite. (Which is something I don’t want)
Decided to give it a try anyway.
Been taking it for 3 days. It’s supposed to be taken in the evening, because It makes you groggy and that’s meant to help me sleep.
instead I just jump in and out of bed to eat every hour, and during the day I don’t feel full after I’ve eaten, which has fucked up my stomach pretty badly.
All of this is making me very angry.
I sent a mail to the clinic explaining that the hunger is not wanted at all, and ased if it will stop further down the line.
From what I’ve gathered myself, the hunger won’t go away. I’m already ready to drop it, but giving them a day to respond.If they refuse to give me an alternative, I’m done with antidepressants.
I’m not taking that stuff for a month, only to then have to slowly get off it before I can try something else. Fuck this. | aspergers |
=== Background: ===
I have had severe ocd around the bathroom since I was 6 or so. I was on fluoxitine since I was 12 ish and was on it for over a decade. I wasn't great at taking the medication consistently (don't know if it is related or not) as well as the fluoxitine not really halping but then went to a psychiatrist who is helping me find a medication that works
However during trying a medication I started to have pure o thoughts (I had never really had them before) specifically pocd thoughts
Now the pocd has persisted through several medications and because my regular ocd wasn't getting better either I have given in and got on the wait list for several ocd specialists (on the international ocd foundation list)
=== Main question: ===
I am very scared to tell the psychologist about my pocd, "what if they think I really am a bad person?", "what if they don't take me seriously?" etc
How do I check if this is a psychologist who understands pocd before I tell them that I have it?
TL;DR
How do you know if a therapist is good with pocd? What should I look for? | OCD |
Hi there! I recently realized that Ritalin or any medicine with methylphenidate never worked for me after years on it. I live in Turkey but i’m going to Portugal soon to fix some burocratic things I didn’t fixed before move and to see some friends, I’m also going to see my family doctor in the final of november or in the start of December and try Vyvanse For the first time to see if it works to me.
For one side i’m excited but for another i’m scared. In Portugal there is only Vyvanse, Ritalin/Medicines with methylphenidate and Strattera (atomoxetine). i’ve been on both meds and strattera worked for some months but not 100% and nowadays my necessity to focus and function well Is a lot bigger than was when i tried strattera at age of 12/13 (in a short resume: now im an adult living by itself in a foreign country. For an normal adult would be hard, for one with ADHD is nearly impossible.) To resume in another words: if Vyvanse don’t work, im screwed. there is no other adhd medicine available in Portugal and the process of being diagnosed in Turkey would take weeks/months and would cost me a kidney as my turkish sucks and doctors that speak english are 100 dollars per appointment minimum.
I have been researching a lot about vyvanse and nearly 100% of what i have been reading on google and watching on youtube is positive, however, i would like to ask you all that are or were on Vyvanse about how was your experience and how it changed your life (if it did). | ADHD |
Hi guys, i suffer from high anxiety, panic attacks and mild OCD. its my first time taking meds and my doctor prescribed dumyrox (fluvoxamine) and also some xanxax to take on occasion which i am not rly a fan of and i might not take.
my question is what were your experience with fluvoxamine side effects? doc told me there might be some nausea and sleepiness but the thing is most of my anxiety/ocd comes from my emetophobia and the nausea side effect really scares me. also, any tips on how to manage welcome too! | OCD |
anyone else have the classic head jerk? it feels like a compulsion but it comes out as a tic. weird? anyone relate? | OCD |
I’ve done extensive research (compulsion) on all things groinal response and sexual intrusive thoughts and there are so many conflicting theories that I don’t know what to believe in anymore. On one side they’re not out thoughts but just thoughts the brain poops out to scare us but another theory is that there are no intrusive thoughts just thoughts we create to in order to give of us assurance but they’re still our thoughts, or another theory that we enjoy these thoughts and it’s not made up we just don’t enjoy the actual content of the thought but the feelings are real. The last one scares me the most, I’m at a loss | OCD |
Hey guys, this is a question I’ve been having for a while,
I have beaten most of my ocd, in fact for a long time, I didn’t have any intrusive thoughts, however, my ocd has started to come back in a different form.
Essentially, what it will do is when I’m thinking about someone who’s died, it makes me think of horrible things like, “you deserved it” and essentially insults them.
My compulsion is saying in my head, “I’m sorry, that was my ocd please forgive me”
Does anyone else have a similar problem? And if so, how did you deal with it?
Thanks! | OCD |
I can’t take this anymore. Everything points to the idea that subliminals turned me gay. I just want it to go back. I’m so tired of this and so scared. I just want my life back and nothing is working. Why is this happening to me!? I didn’t deserve to lose my identity.
Please do not comment the following:
- “You were gay all along and are just realizing it now”
- “it’s ok to be gay”.
I know it’s ok to be gay and I was straight, it’s exhausting hearing people say that to you when you have HOCD. | OCD |
I wish I could just stop existing, people at school have said that i look like a rapist as if that was just some funny joke. I wish I could cut up my face beyond recognition, or claw out my eyes so I don't have to look at it. I'm obese and I have ADHD, in other words I really want to do work and workout but I just lay in my bed until I fall asleep. It's hard to just do things, I hate my body. I hate my voice, I wish I couldn't talk. I know it sounds stupid, all of this does. But my voice is obnoxiously deep, and I'm still trying to figure it out but I know I'm not cis. I wish I could just stop my ability to talk. I've thought about just stabbing myself in the throat, but I don't know how well that would work. However if it did work It would either make me mute or kill me and I can't really complain either way.
I'm 14, feel free to say I'm too young for any of this, I'm fine with more reasons to kill myself. Feel free to call me a dumbass too trust me I know. | depression |
I have been on ADHD meds for over a year and for a while I had help with remembering to take them every day. Now that I’m on my own, it’s hard when I can get very distracted in the morning. As y’all know, forgetting to take your meds turns into a domino affect of your memory getting worse and worse and continuing to forget for days.
I have been trying my best to come up with strategies to deal with my ADHD that don’t involve medication and so far I have found that setting reminders on my phone helps, but it isn’t completely cutting it. I haven’t yet been able to completely stop myself from getting distracted after I’ve seen the reminder. I also use my calendar and an app called Medisafe to remind me, so I get two reminders, but still lose track and forget. I think there is a setting on iOS where you can keep reminders at the top of your screen but I haven’t tried it yet.
What do you guys do that helps you remember? Anything I haven’t thought of? Maybe an alarm I don’t turn off until I’ve taken them? | ADHD |
I used to be a vivid reader, I finished the catcher in the rye in one night and one hundred years of solitude in 2 days. But for some reason I stopped reading for a couple years and now that i wanted to get back into it my mind just starts thinking about other things instantly. As soon as I read a word, i start imagining situations and conversations about me not being able to concentrate. It sucks because I really want to read but it feels like there's a thick wall between me and the book, and it should be easier now that i have noise cancelling headphones but i just can't.
Does anyone know what I could do? | aspergers |
The only thing that kills life-sucking addicting hyperfixations with this thing are the harshest insights and realizations. Damn me if I didn't set myself up for horribly embarrassing and humiliating situations that no one in their right mind being an adult would do. Every damn time I am engaged with a female that displays any hints that we might get it together, it's like a child suddenly takes over the reigns and the mature intelligent part of the brain gets tossed in the trunk. Then the damn ride begins, I push boundaries, I give off every little accountability and responsibility off to the other person and let them be the parent until they need to slap me back to reality for me to bring myself back to reality. Not only that, I also let out my animal side, I shamelessly keep intense eye contact, at times make no effort to hide my sexual intentions. And guess what, it's got alot of girls hooked believe it or not! I almost find it creepy myself and wonder what the hell they are thinking but I guess it's some innate deep rooted sexual thing that I pull out of them. It's not something i am proud of i can tell you. It's no way to go about trying to attract someone you think you would really care for.
The worst tragedy of it all is that I apparently have good intellectual resources to mask most of the ADHD symtoms (Smart, in short, according to the testing/psychologist). It's like very time there is an intelligent being inside my head that knows EXACTLY what I should do and exactly what the perfect reaction to every situation is (yes the voice is really faint but damn me if it isn't there every time) but instead it gets choked by the naughty child in my head that rears its ugly head and goes "how abouttt no?".
For the past weeks/month I have been observing and reflecting on my life and alll the dumb shit I did that was because of ADHD and I can honestly say that i am in AWE of this disorder ever since I found out I actually have it (couple weeks ago). It's a dreadful fascination. Fuck me. | ADHD |
Has anyone had any experience taking Prozac? What did you think of it? I just started last week and I am a bit anxious about medication in general. Thanks for the input! | OCD |
When everyone is blue, I'm red
Whenever I may not laugh, I do, but don't when I'm supposed to
Whenever I need to get a boner, I can't, but get one when I'm not supposed to
Whenever I need to be friendly, I end up being a dick, and vice versa
When everyone is striving to win, I'm subconsciously striving to lose
When the world is striving, I'm a degenerate loser
When the world is degenerate, I strive to be a winner
Whenever somebody comes with an opinion, I do my best to disagree with it, whatever it may be
Whenever I'm supposed to sleep early, I can't sleep the whole night, but get super tired when I'm supposed to stay awake long
Whenever the majority is negative, I try to be positive, and vice versa
...
I don't understand why it is like this. In every aspect of life, I do my best to become something that is completely different from the majority of people. Is it because I never fitted in and want to find my own way away from the normies or what could it be? | aspergers |
Like, if im in a situation where I can’t perform the compulsion my brain is telling me to do, I’ll perform my backup ritual a few times. If for instance, Im driving, and my brain tells me to close my eyes for 20 seconds, I’ll instead do my other ritual to try and “even it out”. Does anyone else experience this? | OCD |
A new study is the first to examine the relationship between post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and dozens of infection types in a nationwide cohort. Researchers found that PTSD affects infection risks for men and women differently, having, for example, more of an effect on a woman's risk of urinary tract infection and a man's risk of skin infection.
*PTSD nearly doubles infection risk. ScienceDaily. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/10/191015131421.htm. Published October 15, 2019. Accessed December 16, 2019.* | ptsd |
Seriously, since I got diagnosed a couple a. Month back my life seems to make a bit more sense (m44). However, it still sucks so I need to vent.
I wanted to go hunting today. Well not only did I look for my car keys for 40min as they weren’t there where I put them…..obviously.
Once I finally found them I packed all my gear to go out to the woods only to find out I left my winter coat and ammo at home. I mean it’s around freezing and snowy and I forget the most two important things (besides my gun(I left that one at home too before.
I hate hearing things like
- that’s so topically you
- that only can happen to you…..
Doesn’t help my ruined day out.
Oh and just to top it all off I banged my shin while rushing out so that it bled. At least I also know now thanks to this sub that clumsiness comes with the whole package. | ADHD |
If any young people out there could relate to me and want to talk, it would be great. Thank you. | ptsd |
Depressed as hell tonight; gonna grab my CBD vaporizer and take the trash out, then just stay outside in the cold and go for a walk by myself
I wish I could run away from everything, just like, detach from my body and fly someplace else like a leaf in the breeze
As my anxiety gets helped by my meds, my depression seems to take its place
Everything I do feels pointless and I can’t wait for it all to be over eventually
Alone feels like all I’ll ever really be
Just me, the smoke and the cold, open air
Why am I here | depression |
This is a bit sad for me.. this diagnosis highlights how distant of a relationship I had with my parents that my mom didn't even notice anything wrong with me.
Let me paint a picture.
My dad travelled for work a lot or stayed late at the office so I didn't see him a lot. When he was home he was usually stressed out with work and in his own head. So we didn't spend 1:1 time together. My mom on the other hand never travelled but she was stuck acting as a single mom of 2 because my dad travelled so much.
My mom worked full time and had a medical condition. So she spent a lot of time at work or at the gym taking care of her physical body. When she was home she would get to work on making dinner and then we would eat dinner together.
My sibling and I would usually be left to our own devices. My parents really liked that we got a long, because we would close our bedroom door and play dolls together all day without disturbing my parents.
Unfortunately ,I think all this time spent disconnected from my parents (them being super busy and leaving me and my sibling to spend time alone) is the reason my mom didn't notice any symptoms and couldn't report on them on my assessment. It made me sad to see this disconnect highlighted.
During my assessment I had a real struggle thinking back to my childhood. I could only pull up one or two unrelated memories.. so when I got asked about ADHD in childhood I honestly could go back to my memories to respond. So I under reported. My mom under reported too because of all the mentioned above. So I have OSADHD for lack of reporting.
After my assessment I went to a park, sat on a bench, looked up the ADHD symptoms list, and thought hard about my childhood. At some point, during the hour I was there everything started flowing. I just wish I had the memories flow during the assessment and not after.
My OSADHD diagnosis confirms that I have ADHD symptoms, but for a complete ADHD diagnosis I need evidence of symptoms in early childhood. | ADHD |
Hey, I'm not sure if I'm posting this to the right subreddit, so let me know if there's any other more appropriate; just thought other men might know how I could reach him.
I (19F) have been living with my boyfriend (23M) since the summer, since the start of our relationship, I've noticed that he's very closed off emotionally and uses escapism to deal with almost everything; pretty early on we had this big fight where he went off on me for no reason, we talked and he said he would try going to therapy. He went to 1 or 2 sessions and decided he didn't like it; said the price was too high and he wasn't feeling such a big difference. I tried explaining that therapy takes time, and that in the beggining it will feel a lot like work, you're just being vulnerable and trying to find your footing within your mental space, and the price could be different with someone else, he might even like the treatment style more, but he didn't want to keep going either way. We settled on it, but I asked that he tried hard to comprehend himself and his feelings more even by himself, which he agreed on doing.
A while has passed since then and I've noticed him becoming depressed since a while back, even before we move in together, but it did seem to get worse then.
He's not interested in sex, he's always on edge (either sad or angry), most of the time he doesn't wanna talk about his feelings, whats going on or anything at all, even. He's been distancing himself more and more, and the few times he did talk about what he felt (and wasn't impatiently pointing that I don't understand what it's like for him, even though I ask and try reaching out constantly), he said he's unsure of his future, what to do with his life, if he's going to feel better at the new job (he currently works at a factory far from home and complains about the commute a lot, plus the job is stresseful and the pay is low, the new job is close to home and although has similar to a little more stress, pays quite a lot more), he always says that it doesn't have anything to do with me, that I'm one of the few happy thing in his life, so I don't know what else to do to help.
I've suffered with depression for a long time, and have been getting better in the last 2 years, having him around makes me super happy and I've never felt like this for anyone, so all I want to do is help him through it, but I feel like I have reached a point where I can't do anything else; I've been giving him space, suggesting activities to cheer him up, giving him support, telling him what helped me when I felt like that, but rarely has any effect, and it's very often temporary, next day or week he's back to feeling down.
I know for a fact therapy is the best thing he could do right now and we do have the money to pay for it, I even offered to pay myself or make the arrangements for him, but he doesn't want it. He always has an excuse, even saying he feels ''too down to go to therapy'', when that's exactly when he should be going. I've been studying psychology and going to therapy for years, and from what I observed about him, he's likely denying it because he feels like hiding it and escaping into games will help more than actually dealing with it; I told him sometimes the only way to solve something is going through it, and depression and trauma are just that, he understands it but doesn't seem to absorb it, or he rationalizes it in some way that just has him believing he can get better without therapy, or he just doesn't want to get better at all.
This is starting to affect me a lot, since I've been getting depressed along with him and I'm not sure how much more of this I can take without losing my progress. All I want is for us to be happy together, or at least happy.
Please give me some advice, I'll answer any questions you guys may have, I know my writing is confusing. | depression |
I have 20 years and I've had my OCD diagnose for two years now, I been taking meds since them. My family are the hard part of my progress, since they don't really accept I have a disorder, they keep blaming my bad mood for all my problems. They say I obsess with death because I'm a bad person who is never satisfied with the great things life and my family is giving me. And sometimes I think they're right.
I got a job, I work, I am constantly thinking I'm going to lose my job because I'm not worth it, I'm not capable of doing this job.
I am in a real bad mood and I don't know how to end this, I always think I'm sick or I'm going to die, or going to lose my job and die by some kind of overdose.
I look at my brother and I see so much potencial, which I can't see in me, I have never seen.
I'm tired of being afraid of living, being afraid of some mysterious ghost that hides in some corner waiting to fuck my whole life. I can't feel nothing without thinking I'm dying, I can't see a global warming photo without thinking that night the world ends, I can't speak on work without thinking I'm going to get fired for some mistake, I can't stop thinking that my fishes are going to die every time I leave my house.
I wanna smoke my last joint and finish this shot but I know I'm a coward. | OCD |
I’m looking for some tips and tricks to help with a constant state of hyper arousal. Things that I can’t find with a simple google search. TIA. | ptsd |
I just woke up with bad anxiety and my heart beating so fast and I just feel so scared of the world. I feel like I’m falling behind everyone else, I’m depressed and got out of a long term relationship. It makes me feel alone and I don’t want to be a part of this world anymore. I feel paralyzed by thoughts that tell me I’m not good enough, I need help, I have no direction in life, I’m hopeless and I just want to kill myself. I just want to put an end to everything. I don’t know when I’ll get out of here. | depression |
I had a big bout of depression and I ate only a few times in two weeks. I’ve lost over 10lbs. When I try to eat I can only get a few bites in. What should I do? I need to eat to live. But it makes me feel so sick. I regret this. I need some help. | depression |
Hello guys, I’m new here. I've been struggling a lot with awful, violent, strong intrusive thoughts that come randomly and make me feel absolutely awful, to the point I start shaking, I need to go to the toilet 5 times a day because I’m so worried that my digestive system shuts down.
Mostly these thoughts began with me realising how fragile some things are. I was looking at my cat one day and I realised that if I wanted I could hurt her somehow... just... what if? And I've had multiple other thoughts, the classic 'what if I shove a knife into my eye or stomach', 'what if I push someone down a bridge' etc... I've always been **sure** I’m not going to do these things and that I’m terrified, but with time I started questioning... what if I actually **do** want to do them? What if the thoughts are just a start of some bigger evil scheme that'll turn me psycho some day and this is just the beginning?
I started crying now because I love my kitty so much. I feel so guilty having those thoughts invade my mind all the time, I would never want to lose her, but I’m so lost and confused with myself I just felt I had to vent it here. What if I do something to her just because I get so tired of having to handle this all the time?
I’m on medication right now... 50mg sertraline Zoloft and 50mg amitriptyline before bed because I get up to pee 6 times a night and can't sleep, so it helps to keep me asleep longer... I do go to therapy as well but I’m just struggling:(
**can anyone please share their thoughts or experience? I'd be so thankful. I love you all, hold on please ♡** | OCD |
I grew up in a household with Heroin Addict parents who abandoned me with my grandparents at 12.
They adopted me but my grandfather was a narcissist alcoholic with mild OCD.
It was hellish, I was the scapegoat, I got yelled at every single day about everything I forgot about (I have ADHD so I couldn’t conform to his standards)
I was always vigilant for mood changes and panicky about what i could have possibly forgotten to do.
They made me feel worthless, when I was 15 my mom died, the same year my uncle and Great Grandmother died as well. Along with this, my grandmother who lived with me developed schizophrenia and had her first stay in the psyc ward
When I was 17 my grandmother attempted suicide.
After my mom died I became severely depressed, and I developed an Eating Disorder. Until I was 18, I would sleep go to school and go back to bed.
My bmi went to 34 and when I left I still took 2 years to no longer feel trapped and catatonically depressed.
I failed my first year of college because i had finally escaped but my brain was so apathetic//Dysthymic//or dissociative I couldnt get anything done. I could barely shower, When I asked my family for help they just told me to lose weight but i couldn’t even wake up in the morning.
I was having constant panic attacks, if someone was unreachable i was hysterical thinking they had died. It was illogical and I ended up in the counseling office multiple times in tears.
I still struggle with social interaction and i have been isolating myself for 8 years. i am 21 and I have 1 friend and my boyfriend. But I am so scared of everyone and I hate myself.
I have problems in my relationship because i am overly perceptive of facial expressions, any perceived discomfort from my SO sends me into a flurry of self-loathing and immediate deescalation.
Every tenth word out of my mouth is , Sorry.
I hope that discovering this will help me discover more coping mechanisms because i feel overwhelmed and behind in everything. I have so much potential but im drowning in fear and anxiety and hyper vigilance | ptsd |
My OCD came back very strongly after I went off my medication and a few months later had a panic attack while taking LSD. My OCD is all in my head now. But sometimes when I remember how my mom used to not believe I had ocd before I got treated, and I feel like I was just too weak. I feel like I didn’t have OCD back then but just was too weak to deal with anxiety problems. My OCD is also so much worse now then it was back then which makes me deny that I used to have OCD more. I also sometimes look back at my years and wonder if I really enjoyed them or not. I wonder if I really experienced pleasure or not or if I was depressed. I’ve had some of these depressed feelings for seven years since I was 10 years old. Combined with some of my OCD I sometimes feel like those 7 years of my life did not exist and I feel like I’ve been teleported to the present. I also wonder if I have the right to be upset about those 7 years or if I was just faking my mental illnesses. I feel insane that I’m in 2021 sometimes and just looking at the date reminds me of how bad my life is. Has anybody else doubted their mental health problems from OCD? | OCD |
I had a very strange and kinda scary bout of dissociation this morning.
I had a kinda rough night, but I was doing our regular morning thing (get up with my boyfriend at 6, make us breakfast, put his meds and sandwich in baggies, kiss him goodbye, etc.) when I realized I had "zonked out" and made 2 PB&J's how we each like them, bagged my boyfriend's, and drew a heart on the bag (I usually write/draw cutesy shit). I remember getting the bread down from on top of the fridge and putting my 2 slices in the toaster, then my boyfriend walked in the kitchen and started rubbing my back. I "snapped out of it" at his touch and saw everything done. As he was walking out the door, I asked if something was written on his sandwich (the sharpie was by the toaster, not its usual spot) and he said "Yeah, a heart. Why?" So I told him I didn't remember doing any of that. He said I was probably just still waking up, and not to worry myself too much. But I'd been up since 4ish (this was at 6:30-ish).
It's happened to me before, but mostly kind of going "on autopilot" while driving, and only realizing I'm at my destination when trying to park, or blank staring at the wall/floor while watching TV or talking to someone (or rather listening to them talk).
So, that brings me to my question to you all: What's your "Dissociation Story"? What was a big one that you did things you don't remember? | ptsd |
My short story. I accidently watched a violent video in the internet 2 months ago and my body suddebly had reacted severely. The most bad thing that I have since is that absolutely absence of energy. I almost do not go outside, have a severe depression, very weak and i feel that i do not have my previous sharp intelligence anymore. I had a hope that this condition will go away, but it becomes worse. I had severe suicidal thoughts. Phycisian prescribed me antideppesants ssri, i tryed it, but felt myself very bad and stopped. But it seems i will need to continue them.
What is interesting is that i do not afraid that video. But my body had reacted.
Say guys please, is it possible for this condition to go away? Is it possible to return to my previous condition? I just never had a good health and I strenghthened it very much by this year and suddenly I lost the all. | ptsd |
Several things have happened to me/been caused by me in the past couple months. I (F23) was working 6 days a week and barely making enough to pay my rent. I was in the process of getting out of a toxic relationship. And an animal died in the wall in my apartment (worst smell I've ever experienced) and my leasing office refused to get it out.
I literally broke down on the phone with my dad and he offered to come get me and all of my stuff. I live 5 hours away from my family and have for 6 years because of the aforementioned toxic relationship. My landlord let me out of my lease without any penalties after I threatened to have a health inspector come out, so that was solved.
However, I told my work I was having a family emergency and have not been back in a week. I am still on a mental rollercoaster trying to figure out everything that just happened and where I'm going to work and how badly I've messed up these past years. My boss and coworkers are texting me asking if I'm okay and if I'm coming back and I have not contacted any of them after that first time.
I feel like I'm losing it. Does anyone have advice on how to handle a lot of stressors at once? I've literally sat staring at the screen of the last conversation I had with my boss and I just couldn't make myself text her. | depression |
I don’t understand, in every situation I’m in there’s an annoying motherfucker in the back of my mind whispering criticisms and fostering the growth of self doubt. I’m constantly doubting myself, even in the face of compliments. I shutdown praise to a point where I probably come off as a dick. I can’t take a compliment to save my life, I’d say compliments go in one ear and out the other but they never even make it to the first ear. Well actually, that’s not completely true, I can take praise for doing like a champ… but I struggle to internalize praise for being.
For example, I box, and if someone were to praise me for “winning” a sparring session, I’d take the compliment. But if someone praised me for being a good boxer I wouldn’t. It’s like this for everything … Investing, working, boxing… whatever. It’s relentless. My therapist often brings up impostor syndrome when I tell her these things, but I think it’s deeper than that.
I’ve been doing good and lately I’m constantly showered with praise, yet somehow I can allow my critic to convince me that either A. I’m putting on a front and fooling everybody, or B. they’re praising me because I’m so bad that they pity me. And they pity me so much that they think I need a compliment to lift me up and give me confidence.
It’s so bad, I’ve been trying so hard to not listen to my critic but it was hard for me to even acknowledge the fact that I’ve put myself in a good position in my life. I objectively know that I’ve come a long way, and am in a position that many people my age are envious of, but that’s not enough to shut down the critic, the critic can be productive sometimes, propelling me forward, but often times it’s destructive and exhausting.
My confidence is extremely short lived and malleable, it’s annoying. I’d love to hear from anyone who is dealing with, or has dealt with this in the past. But any insights would very much appreciated. Thank you. | ptsd |
Have you ever wronged someone, they find out, tip toe around it and you never really have a resolution? Im dealing with that right now. Just tell me what you think i did or what I did so we can move on! Is it that hard? Does anyone else think like this? | aspergers |
Yesterday, my emotions were all over the place. I was afraid that i will start to belive in delusional ideas. I was measuring again how much do i belive them. It felt like im on edge of beliving them. This made me scared. I wanted to cry. Then i calmed down because i realised that its stupid, but then i got scared that i will start to have that feeling of dread again, which made me scared again. It was an emotional rollercoaster. My dad doesnt understand my struggles with this and he makes me more anxious. He told me that i will destroy my life if i continue down this road, that made my anxiety extremly high. I cleaned my room to calm myself down. I started to have intrusive toughts about suicide which made me even more scared than SchizoOCD. The toughts felt so real. I finally calmed down and went to sleep. Today i woke up and felt good, but them it started. A tought that im possesed by demons. I actually got scared that its true. I actually belived it for a few minutes. My brain goes: "If there is even the smallest chance that you are possesed, you should be scared." And i really was scared of it. Then my toughts that i may have schizophrenia actually gave me relief. I started to tell myself: "Everything is fine,you are just a schizophrenic and you need to see a doctor and everything will be ok."
I was actually relieved. Now im scared again guys, scared on how my life is going to look. Im 21 years old, im possibly schizophrenic, i am scared that the doctors will not be able to help me. Im afraid of suffering like this. I am on 50mg of Sulpiride for my anxiety, and at the beginning it was helpful, but after this, i think that pills arent working. I just want my life back. I want to be free of this toughts and to be happy again. I want to hang out with my friends, to get a nice girl. I want to live like a normal 21 year old. Currently i am aware that it is impossible that i am posessed, but im scared that i will start beliving this again. My hands are shaking from fear of all of this. It looks like the tought "you are just schizophrenic" is a compulsion for "you are posessed" or maybe im wrong. I dont know anymore. The world sometimes seem "wierd" to me, but i know for a fact that the problem is in me, not the world. Im so confused and scared guys. Im afraid to prey and to belive in God because then i could belive in demonic possesion which would make me scared. I dont even know how to explain this in words. I cant wait to see my therapist. I have so many questions. I just want to live normally again.
EDIT 1: A few minutes after writing this post i see how stupid everything about this is. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! I really hate my brain.
EDIT 2: An hour later. Logical reasoning and common sence obviously didnt get me anywhere. Im currently trying to accept these ideas, and even convince myself that they are true. I will force myself to belive these delusions. I dont care anymore. | OCD |
I sh and not much blood came out, I hate when that happens cuz then if feels like I failed. I like when a lot of blood come out of the cuts, the warmth on my skin | depression |
My job is a TAship, mostly just grading. Our head teacher is super busy, she teaches three massive classes. A student answered some questions on a computer graded quiz correctly, but with a different format than the computer’s answer, so it marked them wrong. He emailed me asking about this, so I went in and fixed it so that he got credit for his answers, told him thanks for letting me know, and then sent email to my head teacher letting her know what happened. I was trying to make her workload lighter, so she would not then have to go fix the grade, but now I am worried. Maybe I should have asked her whether I could fix the grade before I did it? I am worried I overstepped my bounds.
Edit: Thank you so much everybody, my head teacher said she did not think about it at all, and to go ahead and fix grades if anything similar happened again. Haha I am very relieved. | aspergers |
I went for my 2-week check-up today to go over how my medication has been helping or not helping. Going through titration at the moment and definitely need a higher dose. I showed up for my appointment today and went to the wrong set of buildings. I called to let them know that I was there, but went to the wrong set of buildings and was across the street. The receptionist asked my name and who I was seeing. I told her and she informed me that my appointment was actually yesterday. I hope my psychiatrist doesn't think that I just came in for meds to not return. I have to call to reschedule on Monday because I am transferring locations where I work Saturday and don't have a schedule. My days have been blending together due to many stressful events happening in the last two weeks. It wasn't that I forgot about my appointment just lost track of what day of the week yesterday and today was. | ADHD |
It hurts and I just don’t know how to stop it. Feels like I’ll be miserable forever. | depression |
Does anyone else feel depressed or hopeless when looking at other people or like people watching?
Maybe I'm judgemental or cynical?
Sometimes just the sight of strangers, what they're wearing how they look, speak etc is enough to make me feel hopeless and scared and ultimately depressed. Damn this shit. | depression |
Hey y’all. I’ve had a few hard months depression wise and am
just trying to rethink a few things and habits to make things a little easier for myself. I’m trying hard but it’s still difficult and part of me just wants to give up. Is there anything any one told that helped you motivate yourself and keep on pushing? Obvi nothing like it gets better but anything that made you find hope or at least a reason to keep pushing against the weight. | depression |
I feel stuck. I don’t want to ever feel the things I felt that made me become this way. But my therapist says I have to remember all that stuff and allow myself to feel it in order to heal from it. And I have to expose myself to the things that feel like they might destroy me or make me destroy myself. I’ve worked so hard all these years of my life to just be ok. To not break down at every moment. To feel stable. And how can I convince myself to risk losing everything? | ptsd |
So I’ve been taking generic Ritalin 10 mg twice daily for a month-ish and it’s been okay, better than Adderall IR in terms of health. But there is one side effect I can’t shake and it’s overstimulation.
Everything feels like it’s too much to the point where I can’t get anything done anymore because my brain is overwhelmed by everything around me. I’ll clean, cook, and exercise perfectly on schedule. But when it comes to my job for example, I can’t perform as well as I used to because I can’t form a thought and put it in the computer or solve problems as well. Unmedicated I couldn’t find the motivation to code but when I did I could do it with relative ease. Same with my hobbies like painting, I can’t form a thought, not in a zombie sort of way but in an overwhelmed sort of way. My brain is so full of information and thoughts racing at once it becomes foggy.
Basically if a task is just physical it’s easy but if it requires my creativity or intellect I can’t seem to focus. I feel so jittery all the time. The symptoms feel like my blood sugar is low but I have too much energy as well.
Is this normal? I had bad physical effects on Adderall IR, really extreme muscle cramps, insomnia, and emotional flatness but it didn’t effect my actual thinking process like this, I worked really well on it actually. I thought an extended release medication would be bad for me because of the insomnia issue so I rejected Concerta but from what I hear it feels a lot smoother? I just don’t know what a good medication would feel like and I don’t wanna waste the $80 for a session with my psychiatrist if this is normal basically.
TLDR; For people who have found their perfect medication and dose describe how it should feel? | ADHD |
Hello fellow OCD community, here's a question for you: is it \*possible\* that my symptoms extend beyond OCD and into psychosis, or has anyone else experienced similar things?
Some examples that stick out:
One time when I had stayed up all night -- and I'm super sensitive to sleep deprivation -- I thought I seen something float into someone's hand when they grabbed it. It could have been an illusion based on my position (I was above them looking down) or the object (a bunch of laundry) but maybe I really did misperceive this.
Another instance of having not slept: I totally misheard my mom asking what I wanted to eat as "you know too much". This happened so long ago that I don't really remember what exactly she said or if it was phonetically similar, but this kind of 'sinister' misperception sounds a lot like psychosis?
In another instance, there was some kids playing in the snow outside my window and it seemed that one 'teleported' slightly above where I thought they were. Maybe it was just my eyes readjusting, or my brain 'skipped' a few seconds of information -- either way it's fuel to the fire that I have some latent psychosis.
I don't think I've ever had any standalone hallucinations per se, but instances like those above definitely make it that much harder to write off my condition as 'just OCD'. Are perceptual errors like that somewhat common? Have any other people here had similar experiences?
Thanks for any responses. | OCD |
I struggled with depression when I was younger up until I met my gf at 21, I always assumed the reason I wasn't productive was because of it. I'm now turning 30 and it's hitting me how unproductive 'ive been for so long and depression wasn't the cause. I don't have a diagnosis for Adhd, but from everything i've read in the last couple of months it kind of fits me perfectly. Going to the Doctors to get things started seems like an immense decision. I talked to my Dad about it a month ago and today he asked why i haven't made the appointment, i don't have a reason why other than ADHD.
At this point in general my family pretty much hate me for missing birthdays, messages and pre-planned events. I have a spare room full of stuff i buy people that i never give. I'd just accepted that i was a bad person for missing important things. Discovering that i might have ADHD has honestly made me feel a lot of relief but talking to family is just a battle to validate my opinion. I don't want this to define me but ive had a enough discussions already of why don't you just be more organised and me responding thats the problem im not because of ADHD.
I understand the conversations about being more organised are coming from a loving place, but saying just do this simple reminder to make another simple task easier ignorant of the situation.
Thank you for reading if you have any tips please let me know. | ADHD |
My OCD is always trying to tell me there's a big problem within me that I should be trying to solve. In 7 years I have never solved it and yet none of my worst fears have been proved true.
I believe that choosing to not put any energy into my fear is a risk worth taking to live a happy life. I am not perfect at never responding to my OCD but even what I have done has improved my life exponentially.
Maybe you are an evil person or something terrible is going to happen, but so far you haven't been able to prove that your fears are true. You can't prove they aren't true either. No matter how much you analyze the thoughts, feelings, sensations you fear you never come to a conclusion. The world is uncertain and we actually don't have much control over it. But what we can do is choose to live in this moment and accept it for whatever it is. Negative thoughts, unpleasant feelings, unwanted sensations will come but they need not define us or prevent us from enjoying life. Its okay to not feel okay.
I hope this concept resonates with and helps you. | OCD |
I have always found myself hopeless because it just felt like things were not going to be better even though I know it isn't true (due to past similar circumstances). I would even half joke that my purpose is just to be either lazy or sad all the time.
Anyway, going back, I FEEL RELIEVED AND EXCITED
Why I feel relieved:
1) I got officially diagnosed with ADHD-PI last week and I'm starting to take my medicine tomorrow (after trying to find it in different pharmacies).
2) I am glad that my very first semester in college is gonna finish in a few days.
Why I feel excited:
3) I'll be taking leave of absence on the following semester (hopefully it will be approved by my university).
4) I'll be using it to figure what I want for my bachelor's and to improve my mental health (since I'm also battling anxiety and depression on top of my ADHD).
IM JUST SO HAPPY TO TAKE THESE BIG STEPS OAHFNADKSK 🥺 | ADHD |
Also does it still happen if you take anti depressant and anxiety pills? | aspergers |
went to a psychiatrist and got diagnosed (well the cuts on my knuckles didn't need no diagnosis but anyways) he just gave SSRI's and told not to talk or think about it to anyone (and all this with a general disinterest ). I really haven't given my 100% to overcome and don't wanna take no medication for lifetime should i go to a psychologist now for cbt ,erp because i don't want to take no medication. help
also its clear to me that taking serotonin medication will only help till the time i stop but what after that . | OCD |
This is a rather personal post and a difficult one.
When I was a young boy I was diagnosed with ADHD by my school psychologist then handed over to a psychiatrist who promptly put me on medication. I went back to live with my mother as I did every other 2 weeks (life of a child in a divorced family) and my anti vax mom was obviously extremely upset and immediately took me off of the medicine and told me ADHD isn’t real. I was a child at a young age would grow so frustrated I’d punch myself repeatedly, self harm in other ways repeatedly and all over the simplest of things. I couldn’t pay attention to a single thing in school and upto the age of 7 never actually spoke any words … ever. I couldn’t speak, tie my shoes or ride a bike until I was 10. At 10 I was diagnosed. Now slowly I grew out of these behaviors though I wasn’t medicated. I grew resentful of the idea I had ADHD. Anyone who called me as such would receive my scorn. It didn’t help that the only advocate for my diagnosis was my abusive step mother who very shortly after would begin to abuse me in other horrible ways. She was my enemy and since she wanted me diagnosed I hated the idea of it. Now I am an adult and I have done everything to cool my anger and my frustrations. Yet still I get so angry and mixed up in my head I have to resort to breaking things and punching myself, usually in the head.
I now live with my girlfriend and I don’t think she knows the extent of my anger and I pray she never does but she obviously knows about my inability to concentrate, how easily I’m frustrated, disorganization, and self harm history. My lingering symptoms make me feel as if the diagnosis is accurate yet it hurts so bad and I am so afraid to be ADHD. I know it may sound silly but the reasoning for this post is to seek help among people who know what some of these issues are like and start actually getting the help I need. Thanks. | ADHD |
TW for slight mention of suicide I guess
Title says it all.
I'll shout things like "no thank you very much" "fuck off" "I wish I was dead" "don't want to think about that"
Sometimes I'll whistle really loud or shout-sing.
Not sure if I'm just wierd. | OCD |
this is practically my downfall as a human - i’m absolutely horrible at explaining myself because my mind is 10 steps ahead of my brain, and i always end up leaving out really important information or getting overwhelmed by how much i need to explain, and so forth. this is especially bad with school assignments.
it’s frustrating when i know what i’m talking about but can’t articulate it, even with WRITING | ADHD |
Whenever I send a text to a friend and they don't answer within half an hour or something I get really anxious. I start to make up all kinds of stories why it may be so. Maybe I did something awefullt wrong in our last encounter or maybe they just don't like the fact I am texting so often or maybe they left their phone on silent because something horrible has happened to some family member of theirs.
Sometimes they resond later in the day or in the evening, but other times they choose not to respond at all. Especially this last case hurts a lot. But if I then text again a couple of days later it's like nothing had happened.
I can't really talk to them about it because I'm afraid that that would make it only worse.
You people also experience something like this? | aspergers |
I was given Lexapro 10mg in 2019 because I was struggling with depression. I was just diagnosed with ADHD-I last week and not medicated yet.
I want to see if anyone else had their RSD and emotional dysregulation improve drastically with antidepressants. Before meds, those two issues were very serious and almost debilitating. I see a lot of people mentioning RSD and I feel kind of strange that I cannot relate to them much nowadays.
Thoughts? | ADHD |
It didn’t happen lmao. The day before were supposed to go on the date, she said “I’m sorry, I forgot I was starting a new job on that day, we can def reschedule but it’s gonna be awhile I’ll be busy.” I was disappointed, but I accepted it. That was the last day we talked. She’s been active online multiple times but just ignores my message. I think I got ghosted. | aspergers |
Hey everyone,
Not sure how else to title this since this thought only occurred to me yesterday evening. Does anyone else have little to no perception of fashion sense? My family bought clothes on my behalf during my late childhood and teen years. This emerged after disputes during my childhood about what they would be ok with purchasing when we were in the store. For example, if there were shoes I wanted to wear that were available in my size, I would be seen as the difficult one because I insisted. I eventually gave in and said they can just purchase them for me after I gave them my shirt size, pants size, and shoe size. Even early in my undergraduate (5 years ago to be exact), my parents cleared out my old wardrobe so I would only wear polo shirts and jeans. The only t shirts I have left and are still gifted after all these years are university themed nowadays. To this day, I still wear the shirts, polos, and jeans my folks purchased for me despite living independently because of finance management as a graduate student (don't exactly have the disposable income to change my wardrobe back to the way it was). Fortunately, none of these clothes give me sensory issues and they still fit like a glove like they did 5 years ago so that's not an issue. I also make sure regular maintenance (e.g. laundry day, ironing if needed) is done and I know to not wear clothing over multiple days or leave them wrinkled.
The main reason I bring this up is because I noticed that what I wear comes across as a "style" and that I had the sense to pick it... when in reality I didn't. I understand that wearing clothing and maintaining good hygiene is all a self respect thing at the end of the day (e.g., looking nice and no stink shows caring for others. We all know how much stink is disliked by most people.) However, despite compliments I received on my "style," it's hard to take those because I never had that sense in the first place. Does anyone feel similar? | aspergers |
Hey . Thanks for reading . Please reply . I suffer from a lot of types of ocd but today I only want to talk about my religious ocd and magical thinking . One day I had a thought and in that thought my mind gave me a challenge and the condition was that . If I won the challenge then God will help me fulfill all my ambitions and dreams but if I lost that means devil will fulfill all my wishes and I lost the challenge . Now I am afraid that the devil will now fulfill my dreams . Now I feel like giving up on my dreams . I don't want anything from the devil . Please help | OCD |
I see pictures from last year and I don't recognize this happy person that's smiling, laughing, singing and dancing. I can't even picture what that feels like anymore. I hate my self. I'm so lonely and miserable. No one has time for me. And if I did reach out to someone what would I even say?? Hi I'm depressed? Cue an uncomfortable and awkward conversation. I'm so afraid to be rejected and hurt that I can't even bother to talk to anyone. I just want someone to reach out to me. I want someone to ask me if I'm ok. I've dropped off the radar and no one noticed and no one cared. I can't live like this anymore. How am I supposed to make it through the holidays if I can't even make it through a Tuesday? | depression |
When an aspie says, "The toaster doesn't work", it means that the toaster doesn't work. When an NT says that the toaster doesn't work it could mean anything from "the toaster doesn't work" to "I swallowed a tack and now my ass won't stop bleeding" to "It's time we addressed the evils of capitalism".
In conclusion, aspeis have difficulty communicating.
​
Look for part 2, coming whenever the hell I feel like posting it. | aspergers |
I just need some encouragement and kind words. I abruptly quit therapy 8ish months ago. I am terrified of starting again and rehashing everything that makes me who I am. I know I exist outside of my experiences, but I just don't feel like spilling my guts again and getting to know another stranger. But it's time. I've been having meltdowns at least once a week for a couple months and the stress is enormous. I've been in bed for two days now.
My partner finally sat me down and told me it's time to find a new doctor. I'm just so overwhelmed and I feel defeated by my own illness. I'm very unwell right now, but I just don't know if I can do more years of appointments. I was doing so well and now I'm back to square one. | ptsd |
I still feel awful over my mom hating me, I don't know what I did wrong. I know she's delusional but her actions make no sense if she's so psychotic. Pretty sure you have to be somewhat decently self aware to manipulate someone and even commit DHS fraud. And hold your cool when the person finally snaps at you after years of abuse, that way you can look like the calm on who's in the right. And to lie to others. She was a munchie sure, but to what extent does a munchie by proxy is self aware? Honestly. Because it went from "I'm retarded" and "I have a mind of a 11yr old" to "in possessed by an evil spirit" to "actually, I'm an animal that needs to be locked up and watched at all times" in her eyes.
Then I find myself in more abusive situations where it all boils down to me being a burden on society. Just an emotional punching bag. No purpose. If you don't want me around so badly, why do you get fussy when I try to leave?? Why do you treat me like a little child when I make my own decisions when you try so damn hard to say I'm nothing but a bum and I'm this and that and every awful name you can think of...
I tried contacting this one dude because I want him to validate me again, and have me have a purpose. Even though it's just some sexual relationship we used to have.. Yet he won't respond. It just goes to confirm I'm worthless. That I mean nothing. And all I ever do is ruin everything. | ptsd |
I used to be so determined when I was younger, such lofty aspirations.
But now I know that even if I put in the most effort I could, I would never get anywhere. Ill never be able to make a difference in the world, Ill never contribute to anything. Best case senario, Ill just be another guy, living day to day hoping for a break.
I suffer now, push myself beyond what I can endure, just to get into a good school, so I can suffer and push myself there, so I can suffer and push myself to get a good job, so I can suffer and push myself to get paid. And that's it, that's all there is.
If I'm not going to benefit humanity, and I'm not even having a good time, what's the point? It doesn't matter if I live or die to the world, and it doesn't matter if I live or die to me. | depression |
so people at work gave me safety boots and took him home without trying them, next morning i put them on and there were a little bit tight in front my toes were squished together a little, my first thoughts were "is it too tight or safety boots are meant to be that way? little tight to keep your foot in place?"
I tried to loosen the lace a little bit but didnt work, so i decided to put it back in the box and take to them so they can replace it with a bigger size, on my way there i kept thinking about my foot dimensions , the distance from toe to heal, the width of the foot and height of the foot, i dont want a bigger boot i just want something a little bit wider i kept wondering whether the bigger size would be too big.
wondering "should i just wear it and forget about the whole thing?, or should take it back to them and risk getting a bigger boot that doesnt fit?"
i didnt know what to do and my brain crashed leaving me standing there on the street carrying a shoe box looking completely confused, thankfully my neighbor drove by and gave me a lift to work, he told me i should have it replaced. | OCD |
It’s a mindless world after it all, so I’ve been wondering if there’s anyone experiencing the same. | aspergers |
Last week I had something traumatizing happen at work. Since it happened in the workplace every time I go there I feel weird still. Like shock therapy almost because I am exposed to where the event happened every single day especially since the person who did it not only got away but has done it again since my experience to someone else. My work offered time off/therapy but I feel like even with time away it won't help and only time (months will help things get better).
My time is consumed with researching the event I even bought a Discovery+ subscription so I can watch documentaries about the crime that happened to me happening to others and their experience with it as well as the people who do these crimes them explaining their side of things. I haven't been communicating with my spouse I just go home and go into a room by myself on my laptop and just watch these documentaries/read reddit threads about the same crime. I thought this was going to pass in a few days but it hasn't.
Socially I bring up what happened all the time when we are not talking about it I find a way to bring it up.
When I do try to do things other than that I feel like I am underwater almost like my body is there but my mind is not. I tried playing video games with my spouse or watching a new tv series to get my mind off things but it seems like I am unable to concentrate no matter how hard I try.
I have lost my appetite. I was on a really great eating schedule I was eating healthy foods and getting enough calories now I feel full all the time and when I try to eat I can only get a few bites in and its usually of something very unhealthy like take out because I can't bring myself to grocery shop.
My sleeping has been off either I wake up very early and can't go back to sleep or even if I get a full night sleep it doesn't feel like I have. I do have dreams I had a dream that it happened again and I had a dream that I am just a work. Which is weird because I rarely dream.
IDK it just gets me that the person that did this probably has zero care in the world that he did it.
Is all of this normal I have not been diagnosed at all because I have not seen a therapist yet. | ptsd |
Recently I saw the movie ‘Mary and Max’ from 2009 and i felt the max character is so much like myself.
So i started to google it and i realised that I’m showing 9 out of 10 symptoms to have an asperges syndrome.
I knew that something is wrong with me all this time. That I’m not like everybody else. I strongly think that I’m an asper so if anybody had a similar experience like mine please feel free to share cus i wanna know more about it and i wanna get over it. | aspergers |
i look at some certain people and i see them. i see their lives and how they’re living and feeling. my eyes seem to be capturing how beautiful they are all of the time. they are are truly beautiful, they’re nature. they’re like magnets. i see how they attract all these people because of their natural vibes. i’m even attracted to them, to their energy and optimism and empathy they possess for other people. my mind wants them and i want to attract beautiful people into my life that want me to be friends with them too. i want myself to be happy as some are when they are with others. i it doesn’t happen. i seem to always be alone, by myself. myself | depression |
So I just wanted to know how you guys deal with sexuality or if there's a pattern in how aspies approach sexuality.
Obviously everyones approach to things is different but I wanted to see if any of u is uncomfortable or uninterested in sex. I struggle with understanding sexual attraction and im pretty convinced I'm asexual. I know many girls on the spectrum are too, so maybe there's is a correlation with autism and lack of sexual desire/lack or interest in sex? | aspergers |
I have been acting like I can deal with my symptoms on my own for a long time now, and realizing that adhd is ruining my relationships and job among other things is what kicked me in the ass to get help again.
I’m honestly emotional about it, today is the best I have felt mentally in a very long time that it is almost overwhelming, I cried lol. I jumped straight back into 40mg as I used to be really good with 50. This feeling of clarity, focus, motivation, it’s a lot to take in for this first day. I feel excited about the future now, about how I’m going to be, I’m so happy that I can be closer to “normal” again.
If you’ve been putting off treatment like I was, whether it be medication or other forms, it’s not worth it to keep pretending like nothing is wrong. You don’t gotta handle it alone. | ADHD |
there’s just so many things that happen in a day that i cant keep up. the due dates, the cleaning, the dishes, the emails, they pile up and pile up until i cant even see the bottom anymore. its so disheartening to even try to catch up on them now, cause i know how long itll take to finish; and in the meantime the others are just growing in size. i feel like if i had a real pause on my life i could finally get things in order enough to be able to deal with these things, and then finally be able to invest time in things like school and job applications and driving school. i dunno it just feels like theres never a break long enough for me to even start on the mile long list of things i have to do. so basically in the meantime i do nothing as they continue to get worse | ADHD |
I’m basically at my wits end here looking for a way to get rid of these nightmares. I’m scared to fall asleep, then when I finally do I’ll sweat through my clothes and sheets, mumble to myself, and sometimes literally wake up screaming. I just want the memories to go away completely. I’ve heard hypnosis can help “get rid of” unwanted traumatic memories, does this really work or is it bullshit? I don’t wanna risk retraumatizing myself if the odds are it won’t work. I just really need to find a way to be able to sleep without these awful memories coming back in the most horrifying way. | ptsd |
I used to be extraverted. I used to be able to talk to anyone, be they a celebrity or a homeless person, I treated everyone equally, with respect. I remember at a convention once. We had a party, security came and asked us to tone it down. I bribed them with a smile and a drink and did the same when the cheif of security came and we partied til dawn.
Now, I spend most of my days in my apartment, hardly talking to anyone anymore. Hardly invite friends over.
I've give up on most communities, gaming, roleplay, conventions in general.
All because I'm afraid to open my mouth. I simply don't know what offends people any more. Just for not going along with the political narrative, wich I try to get away from by immersing myself in hobbies.
If I play doom I'm a male chauvinist who hates women.
Likewise If I point out that I didn't like Cpt Marvel, but loved Sigoney Weaver in Alien.
If I like anime and Japaneese cuisine, it's cultural appropriation.
If I point out I'm bi, but don't attend pride, because of people wandering around in fetish gear infront of children I'm phobic. Or if I don't frantically cheer at Dezmond is amazing I'm a biggot. Likewize if I question people beeing attracted to minors or make up genders what have nothing to do with biology. I'm expected to simply know peoples made up genders, where ad before it was blatantly apparent. I refer to everyone as you, but still I get screamed at.
Mentioning that I've dated trans people does nothing to dissuade people.
If I reject the advances of females with male genetalia I'm a phobe yet again. I'm not even allowed to have sexual preferances. Ironically the same freedom the lgbt community used to stand for. Instead it's forced on me.
If I don't like a certain movie because gay/lesbian characters are just used as tokens and portrayed as near comical tragic stereotypes without any background or character development I'm seen as as a biggot.
If I question the government selling off our country's natural recources to the point people are freezing to death because of high electricity prices, because we have to buy them back I'm called a nazi.
If I want our country to govern itself I'm called a nazi.
If I mention the waves of rape, murder and robbery in major cities. I'm called a nazi and that I should respect their culture. The fact that an 8 year old girl was brutally gangraped to death is irrelevant. I'm a nazi for even mentioning it and told the girl was probably a rascist.
When I try to talk to pople who engage in hobbies and try to keep politics out I'm doxed, banned and hated, hung out simply for not agreeing nor wanting to discuss politics withing a given hobby.
I'm called a nazi, despite opposing any totaliterian idiology, despite laying down flowers on the graves of the brave soldiers who died stopping the actual nazis.
I can't take this woke bullshit anymore.
I'm the most hated thing on the planet.
I'm a white male.
So I ask you, is there any place left for me, or will you hate me just like rest? | aspergers |
Does anyone else struggle with fear or dysphoria around eating/nourishing yourself? Any tips? I'm feeling very alone with this. | OCD |
like not the facilities where u have to interact with the other patients and stuff | depression |
CSA survivor.
So in 2018 I was dx with bipolar 2 but experienced my first episode in 2017.
Later in 2017, around December I was severely stressed and depressed
from a situation and started this phenomenon of seeing shadows and quick movements at the corner of my eye. Actually scratch that, it began in September when I was feeling okay but was able to ignore it. When I hit that depressive rut in December this is when the symptoms intensified and I also started believing strange things. I functioned normally but the symptoms persisted. Eventually the depression ended but the “seeing things” persisted for about 3 months after. This would only ever occur in my house btw. I told my psychiatrist all of this and he said this is schizoaffective disorder as by definition, people with bipolar who have psychosis outside of major mood states have schizophrenia on top of their mood disorder. It was such a heavy diagnosis and I was so high-functioning I refused to believe it. I didn’t even think I was really hallucinating, figured it was just weird anxiety even though these would only ever occur when I was NOT anxious.
Now I have noticed that over the years, I’d have these symptoms edging back but very rarely and less intensely as that time.
Most profound being this year. In June, I visited my cousin in VA and outside her house I swore I saw a black shadow or so at the corner of my eye. It was so random it startled me. While I didn’t particularly enjoy the trip and was stressed at times trying to figure out what to eat or whatever else came up, I wasn’t in any major mental health episode. Also it was strange because I’ve never had this occur outside the house before.
In July, I transitioned to a new therapist and left my old psychiatrist. For the intake, I had to get evaluated by a nurse practitioner and she was extremely positive I had PTSD and said I’m more ptsd than bipolar. She even scoffed at the schizoaffective dx I got prior to and said those experiences I had were paranoia which is common with ptsd. I felt some doubt it was ptsd related because it was so different than my other symptoms though but I was happy with her evaluation, especially since I suspected ptsd for years. Now fast forward to this month and I’ve been depressed the whole time. About a week ago I’m doing dishes and see things at the corner of my eye once again. Startled me badly. Happened dozens of times recently and I got scared so I told my therapist.
I read this sub and i had no idea hallucinations and paranoia were THIS common with the disorder. I also didn’t know intrusive thoughts about other, unrelated traumatic events were also common. What’re your experiences with hallucinations?
TLDR: Dx with schizoaffective bipolar 3 years ago but dx with PTSD this July and told the psychotic symptoms that lead to SZA dx is part of PTSD. What’s your story with hallucinations in this disorder? | ptsd |
If you can swear in Morse Code then they cannot censor you as it is already a bunch of beeps.
Silences only space the message.
Now you too shall ponder. | aspergers |
There's normal curiosity and research and then there's this. over the years, this has caused me so much distress. I've been to residential, worked on this, and well its gotten bad again. Let me explain- so I'll get any topic stuck in my head, let's say hobbies. Let me walk you through what I do
1. Google hobbies
2. put all the links in a bookmarks folder
3. go to tiktok/any other social media and type in hobbies on my phone, then I will save everything of 'interest'
4. then I take those tiktok/any other social media thing and airdrop it to my computer. after that, I write down anything of relevant interest into a stickies. then that stickie gets moved to my notes. Currently my notes folder is like 47 notes... and I have over 200 photos. People say to delete but I cannot
5. Right now I have 3 folders that are full of 600 items that I have to go through
​
I would rather do anything but this. This really keeps me from living but I can't seem to stop
​
I don't think anything bad will happen if I don't research, I just feel the need to know everything and I feel great discomfort if I don't this. Logically, it is impossible to know everything about something and unfortunately the way social media is set up there will always be things to screenshot. Also these things that I research they are of interest to me, it just goes to extreme next level. | OCD |
TW: Sexual Assault
You know in movies when a kid has "their" bully? Just this one person that picks on them more than anyone else? When I was in fourth grade, I had one of those. He was in fifth grade. I remember his name, and I even vaguely remember what he looked like...
He and his little sister bullied me ruthlessly. Until one day, suddenly I was his "girlfriend" (I don't remember how this happened). Every day on the bus, he would make me touch his penis. One time he even made me touch tongues with him (that may not seem like much, but it's traumatic as a kid).
This happened for the whole year. It was also the only year I had ever ridden the school bus, which contributes to the trauma. Now I always choose a window seat when on a bus (looking out the window helps to distract me, as well as he would always use the window seat as to not get caught).
I hid this from everyone until I was in high school. I wish I had told someone. I wish I had told someone immediately.
I don't know why I'm posting this, or why I even wrote it. | ptsd |
I posted here yesterday about being nervous and worried about this screening but the lady doing the assessment was really nice and not biased at all.
We had a long conversation about my life and struggles and also did one questionnaire.
In the end she said I am autistic, now I gotta wait 18 months for the final and official diagnosis.
I felt like crying even though I expected this result, but at the same time I’m feeling so free, like a huge weight off my shoulders after so many years! | aspergers |
I am the type who has a different special interest every couple of months. I pick up on something and then study it, dissect it and live and breathe it for months, basically until I am satisfied and can move onto something else.
When I have a special interest, I'm the happiest most content person in the world. I have consistently had something to obsess over for the last year and quarantine has been a piece of cake. People actively contacted me to tell me I'm the only person they know who seems to be taking it well. Sadly, for the last month, I haven't had any intense interests and it is becoming quite stressful now. I've been reading and watching lots of things, trying to revisit some old stuff but nothing is latching onto my brain.
Does this happen to anyone else? If so, how do you cope with it? Any advice is greatly appreciated. | aspergers |
Attention: this comment mentions suicide.
So, idk how to begin this. I can't stop crying. Last Friday I found out that my friend killed herself. We were in the same class in 8th grade. We were good friends. I haven't talked to her in years, but I remember when Ive found out that she was going to be my classmate in the next year that I was super excited and happy. But she never showed up and I was devasted with that. I haven't talked to her since then. I'm 20 now.
When I heard the news I was only shocked, but when I told my mom I simply started to cry. She was a genuinely good person, always happy and laughing. She was funny and talented and protective of her younger sisters. She was my friend and she is gone.
From what I heard she took her life because of depression which only makes me even more hurt because when I think of her all it comes to my mind is joy.
I didn't knew I was going to be this affected.
She was there for me when I lost my cat, my first time dealing with death. And all I want to tell her is that she's not alone, that I remember her, that I'm her friend, that I could help her.
Tomorrow is her funeral and I can't even attend it because I'll be out of town. Seeing the notice of her funeral, it's surreal.
We are so young we shouldn't deal with this.
I want to ask for your help, how can we help others to not do this. It's hurts so much and I haven't spoke to her in so long, I can't image what her family is going through. What can we do to help others who are dealing with depression?
What I also want to point out is that, even if you think that you have nobody, that no one cares for you, there's always someone. I care for her. Yet I bet that she didn't knew. Please, you are not alone.
Lamento Inês ❤️ (2001-2021) | depression |
I had an extreme panic attack and OCD episode and I scratched myself and hit my face really hard, is this normal to do? | OCD |
I'm constantly reliving the worst parts of my life every time i close my eyes. I just woke up from the worst one I've had yet.
Therapy isnt helping. Its just opening doors I wish would have stayed closed. I dont know if i can keep doing this every day. This is hell and i am so desperate for it to end.
How can i ever be normal when my brain is just a home theater system for the most traumatic parts of my life on repeat over and over and over. Please anyone give me some hope. Any hope. I just dont have any left. | ptsd |
I suck at being social, I get anxiety over just talking to people and I don't know why, I always feel the need to hide or run away when there are guests over, I littearly have 0 friends. Just leaving the house is a battle, I'm always ashamed over how much of a loser I am, how much other people are better then me, because they've accomplished this and that, while I'm completely usless and can bearly talk to people. You should never compare yourself to others I know, but I can't help myself from doing it, those thoughts just come.
I can't even get a conversation going with someone without shiting on myself afterwards with negative thoughts, and thinking they hated me, feeling shame and quilt over small things. Life is fucking hard man. I get nervous over talking to family members, I can't be myself even around them. I'm so insaine, and sick of myself, why can't I function like a normal human being, I look normal why can't I be normal.
Idk why I am like this. Idk why some people have it so easy to do the things I Simply can't. People effect me. I'm starting to lose hope, nothing works anymore.
I tried meds and it was great, but then the effects stopped working, I tried breaks, I tired taking lower dosage, higher dosage, even tried taking months off then coming back, but I'm stuck in this loop now, where taking medication just makes everything worse then it already is.
I'm trying to learn how to drive right now, and I've gotten pretty good at it, but whenever I'm with a driving teacher, I get overwhelmed and anxious over them talking to me, and have thoughts in my head shiting on me constantly, witch makes it hard to focus on the drive, and I just keep fucking up because of it, and that kills me, the fact that people have such an strong effect on me, that I littearly can't function and do something I normally would be available to do, because I'm ashamed of myself when talking to other people.
It's been like this my entire life, I think it's just something I was born with, even when I was 6 years old, I didn't dare to speak to people, when I was in kindergarten I remembered not answering when they asked what I wanted to eat, and my brother would have to tell them what I wanted. I would just not speak to anyone, I don't if it's a lack of trust, or what it is, that makes me terrified of other people but it's been like this from as far as I can remember, I'M SO SICK over it controlling my life, knowing how fucking good life could've been had I not been a coward.
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 13. I denied meds then because I though it was fake and made up, because that's what people told me. Started taking meds at 22, and now I'm 23. I realized these years how hard adhd has fucked my life up, specially with this driving thing, I can't focus because I'm constantly thinking about how ashamed and awkward I am, and just filled with regret. I don't think I'll ever be free from my mind, it is such an evil thing, idk why it hates me. It's like I've got this curse that won't leave me. | ADHD |
I've just sent my assignment today, and now I'm officially a college student!
I'm making an online course of game development, and I'm pretty excited, but also very nervous. Regardless, I've never been so determined IN MY LIFE. My executive dysfunction may really hold me back, but I'm doing my best to fight it. My mother and I are already considering medication, and I'm gonna start adapting techniques to help me concentrate better. Listen to lo-fi, use a kitchen chronometer to manage time, etc.
I know it's naive to be so optimistic, but I can't help it. I'm really giving it my all and I hope it pays off. | aspergers |
Hi all -
So I have clinically diagnosed OCD, but I have some other things that may be part of my OCD or may just be quirks and I'm not sure.
I really don't like it when my mouth is uncomfortable. I almost always carry gum (because I used to have really bad breath and I don't want to go back to that), chapstick, and a water bottle. I get anxious if I don't have these things around. I remember one time I was watching a movie at home and I couldn't find my gum after eating dinner and I got really anxious for a bit. The same happens with chapstick. I don't know if this is OCD but my therapist is leaning towards they're just quirks. Any thoughts? Thank you! | OCD |
Any females who experienced abuse revert back into being timid/girly/or young?
I used to love edgy/goofy/cool styles but slowly I converted to loving pink/cutesy things/girly/soft styles and just in general all things girly and frilly.
I’m 27 and feel like I’m acting like a teenage girl again with my style.
Idk if it’s okay to embrace that since it’s comforting or if it’s something I should be careful with.
I even find myself acting that way in relationships now too? This is embarrassing but the whole baby girl thing/being protected is so appealing to me now. I don’t want to be a kid or act like one but I do tend to attract to taking on a super submissive or timid like role? Blah
Edit: To the person who DM’s asking if I wanted to be your baby girl.. How tasteless can you possibly be. | ptsd |
So yesterday I was watching a video and I started to imagine what if she morphed into a demon, now my head is making me think I saw this in real life even though I know I didn’t, I even wrote down that I didn’t when my mind was clear because the anxiety started to come on. But what if I did see it that would mean I’m schizophrenia | OCD |
I have been going to my current therapist for about a year. He has been very supportive and has pulled me out of a very dark place back in May.
Last week, I got a call offering me a job. They sent me a list of documents to put together for the payroll etc. They said they'll call me back in about three days to confirm an appointment at their office to collect the documents and sign the contract.
Yesterday, they called back saying they are rescinding their job offer and didn't disclose why. Today morning, my social media was flooded with an old friend of mine receiving an award for helping abused women. She had made fake rape accusations against me in the past. I was crushed.
I called the therapist for an emergency appointment. I went to his office and as I told him how horrible I felt, I saw him physically recoil as I cried and he said very generic things. I could sense by the words he used that he was withdrawing.
He then ended the session in about 5 minutes even though I hadn't stopped crying. He told me he couldn't help me and wouldn't elaborate about why.
I guess I'm in denial right now. I know to expect people I'm emotionally invested in to be toxic.
But I don't know what to do when people who are expected to be objective like the therapists, even some people who are reading this, are choosing not to help.
I don't know why life wants me to be hopeless. | depression |
I’m an ER nurse in a major urban hospital severely affected by the current pandemic. We are having the same issues involving lack of PPE as elsewhere and are doing our best to be safe while trying to help our patients. I’m a little more anxious than usual and a bit more stressed, but I’m maintaining just fine. My fiancée on the other hand is not. She has a history of ptsd, anxiety, and depression. She is on several meds that work wonderfully during normal times and will smoke a little pot when she’s more anxious than normal. The past few weeks it hasn’t been enough. I assure her that I’m being as safe as absolutely possible and tell her the truth about Covid patients so she knows I’m not sugar coating things. I explain to her all the measures we’re taking and that I honestly feel as safe as can be expected. None of this is working. She tearful nearly everyday. Before I go to work, she is either incredibly clingy or she shuts down. She obsessively reads everything on social media and is on the porch smoking pot constantly to maintain. Yesterday she exploded in rage at how “when they call you heroes it just means you’re willing to do what they’re afraid of, but they don’t give a fuck about you!”. I’m looking for ideas or mechanisms that anyone can help me with to help her. She is so miserable and unhappy that it breaks my heart, I want to make my love feel better and happy again. This is not going to end soon and I don’t think she’s just going to adjust. Thank you in advance anyone with any helpful suggestions. | ptsd |
Although this isn’t a mental health sub, I feel more comfortable posting here. Just a quick warning as the subject matter I will be talking about is pretty triggering.
A few days ago, I was in a mental hospital. I felt safe there as I had friends but I ended up leaving early. The staff were quite cruel and when I told them I still felt suicidal and wasn’t prepared/warned to leave they told me that if I do anything, it’s my own choice. It felt like they didn’t believe me as my mental illness (suspected BPD) works in a way where I have reactive suicidal episodes. They saw me happy, almost manic earlier with another patient and decided I was well enough to go. I’d have at least liked a warning.
Anyway, last night I went to A&E as I previously ran away and felt out of control again. Worst I’d felt in a long time. We get there, I talk to the nice doctor and an hour later the mental health worker comes in. He immediately mocks me. “My eyes are up here”. I had to force eye contact despite being autistic. My notes say I am but he still got offended at me for not making eye contact. He had these huge, angry eyes. He then told me he read what the nurses at the hospital told him and accused me of wasting his time. Apparently they overheard me saying something about coming back to the mental hospital? This set me off more because I trusted that nurse. It feels like he read my notes then deciders I was a bad person. I don’t even understand why he had to come if I wasting his time? I was polite and calm at first, but then I panicked and asked who he was- he responded with “I’m in the mental health team”. He also made fun of the way I spoke, thank god he didn’t hear me stutter. I lost my cool and raised my voice a bit and looked all panicked. He said “don’t start all that”. I told him I’m leaving and he said “I won’t stop you, but don’t to be causing problems for your Mum”.
I ran out the hospital and felt like the biggest piece of shit in the world. I ran over to the train station and wanted to jump. I was screaming and punching myself, really confused and disoriented. This was at about midnight. Police had to find me and bring me back-thankfully, they were nice.
I don’t know the man’s name. I have never wanted to report someone until now and even my Mum was furious about what happened. There are no eyewitnesses and he already lied once, I don’t even think he will get told off. | aspergers |
I am in desperate need of help. My GP diagnosed me with adult adhd in June this year after misdiagnosing me with depression and bipolar disorder and then prescribed me methylphenidate which did not seem to be the right stimulant for me so I switched to a psychiatrist who then prescribed me 5mg adderall ir which didn’t improve anything and then upped my dose to 10mg ir and I felt like a whole new person but the effects only lasted half the day so she switched me to 10mg xr and now I’m right back to not feeling any effects from it and she refuses to switch me back to the instant release which would make a lot more sense for me to just take a 10mg ir in the morning and another in the afternoon because those actually worked for me. I don’t understand why she’s refusing to switch my dosage. I’m 23 years old and not at all abusing my medication I’m just trying to get the right dosage that I know I need and my psychiatrist has no other explanation on why she won’t switch me back to the ir other than she doesn't want to. I asked why she wouldn’t multiple times and her only answers were that she didn’t want to | ADHD |
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