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I have an exam in a difficult subject in a couple days. I had all day to study but I spent only an hour studying because I was stressed about other things. I have time to deal with those things later in the week but my mind was obsessing about it rather than worrying about the exam. I’ve also just been overwhelmingly tired this past week and I don’t know why because I get enough sleep. I am mentally not present and it’s pretty alarming. I have bipolar disorder so my psych isn’t putting me on adhd meds. my new therapist said I should ask for clonidine but I’m afraid to try it while I’m taking a class because I don’t know how I’ll react to it and I can’t afford to let my grade suffer.
I hope I can get myself back together tomorrow. Thanks for listening. | ADHD |
I've been in therapy through the Australian public system for 2 years now, with intermittent psychology sessions. I've been dissociating on and off for years since I experienced incestuous CSA in my teens.
But I've been sitting with my emotions through daily journaling and discussions. It's been incredibly rough. My husband is a saint for supporting me through it all, what with my struggle with executive function and feeling overwhelmed by the smallest of things because I'm so raw.
Today I was already feeling overwhelmed because I was having difficulty getting basic, inexpensive underclothes in my size at the local department store. So I was feeling a lot of shame about my body and it just built up into this big thing and suddenly as I was driving to the family home I had an outpouring of grief, asking "Why would they do that to me?" I've never cried over the abuse before. It wasn't until this year that I finally felt the anger, and now I'm feeling swings of depression.
I'd previously spent a lot of time in the bargaining stage, convincing myself that I was at fault. Hopefully acceptance is around the corner! | ptsd |
Does ocd come with tics? I make these weird face and mumble when I have an intrusive thought. Does anyone ever had this problem? | OCD |
So I don't have Asperger's but my brother does.
We grew up in a family where he was coddled and I was thrown to the wolves. We're now mid to late 20's. I made the choice to swim rather than sink so I progressed in life very fast. I have kids and a husband now.
My brother has not even had one girlfriend. He's expressed several times he wants a girlfriend, and a wife, and is unclear if he wants kids (which is fine with me).
Is there a kind way to tell him that he's never going to get a girlfriend unless he puts himself out there? The way Asperger's has affected him, he is shy around women and is very passive about everything related to dating. At the same time he's depressed he doesn't have a girlfriend. I don't know how to explain to him how dating works (you need to tell a girl you like her/want to talk to her/ anything indicating interest, otherwise she doesn't know you have interest.)
TLDR: Brother has Aspergers, wants a gf, does nothing to get a gf. What do. | aspergers |
Ive started avoiding the things related to my intrusive thoughts, to avoid the anxiety from it. Is this compulsion or agoraphobia or something? | OCD |
i just dont feel much anymore, i used to enjoy a bunch of things, going swimming doing karate playing video games now i just get bored whatever i do, i cant be bothered going to school my grades arent going well i just want to sleep in all day everyday, my best friends have moved away, a good friend of myn died im just tired of it, this may sound dumb but i mean no one will listen to me so why not talk to anonymous people online | depression |
I always have a “routine” before I go to sleep but last night was awful. Part of my “routine” is checking around the house to make sure no one is there. I KNOW no one is there but my brain makes me check. If I don’t check, I become overwhelmed with anxiety and fear. My brain won’t stop no matter what I tell myself. I try to tell myself I’m okay and safe but it doesn’t help. Usually I check about 2-4 times but last night I couldn’t stop. I was checking every minute for 2 hours until I fell asleep from being exhausted. It was miserable. No one in my life really understands so I thought I’d post here because I figured someone could relate. Obsessive thoughts and anxiety control my life and I want it to stop. | OCD |
Guys, I am married and have a baby and sometimes I think too much about my ex and I think I miss him or love him and think he's the one, I am freaking OUT about this, how do I know for sure that I made the right choice for my life? Help please | OCD |
Just failed my second math exam this semester. I’m going to group tutoring three times a week, I’ve missed class once in the past 7 weeks, and I absolutely bombed this last exam. It feels like I’m doing everything right and still failing despite it.
I’m trying to get into medical school. I can’t afford another C- in math dragging my GPA down. I’m going to talk to my professor, but I dont know how much help he’ll be. What am I doing wrong? Does anyone have any advice? How can I pass this stupid fucking class? | ADHD |
I noticed that I have become extremely impatient and always want to get things done as quickly as possible. Below are some examples:
1. I don’t want to run on a treadmill for more than 10 min. I can do it physically, as I used to run for 10k+ when I was running outside (thinking it could be because treadmill is boring)
2. I can’t concentrate when I am reading, I skip huge chunks of text, so that I can get the main message and proceed to the next topic. I stopped reading books as it feels very painful now.
3. The same situation is with movies/TV series - I either watch everything at 1,5x speed or skip some parts without losing the storyline
4. I used to like cooking, and always took it slowly, enjoying the process of chopping, mixing ingredients, making every dish from scratch. Now it is again painful to cook and I usually don’t spend a lot of time in the kitchen - I just make something which tastes ok, it may not even look pleasant.
5. I get very annoyed when someone tells me a long story full of details. I just want them get straight to the point and tell me how the story ended.
And there are lots and lots of examples like that… I am not sure if it is ADHD as I don’t have any other common symptoms.. but I really need help..
I understand I may need to visit a doctor, but any advice how to reduce this anxiety would be much appreciated! | ADHD |
The organization's website is AnonPTSD (http://anonptsd.org) | ptsd |
TW: CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE
Hi all. I have ptsd from multiple events, but one of the ones that I feel affects me the most is being molested by my cousin on at least two occasions. Some adults in my family walked in and interrupted one of the times, and they reacted with horror at first and then later assumed it was more innocent than it actually was because of my cousin's cover-up story. I've always felt a deep sense of shame and revulsion with myself, and no matter how much I would not believe it of anyone else, underneath it all I feel like I've been irredeemably tainted by the incest and abuse.
Less logically, I've internalized the disgust with incest and feel that it's hard for people to make peace with once they know - and I also feel that some of the triggers and behaviors that I developed because of it drives people away. I feel like I'm always trying really hard to be at my best, and kindest, funniest, hardest working, etc, because I'm scared that it's the only way that anyone will stay my friend, or partner, or whatever. It's not healthy, but it's so deeply seeded that I don't know how to get rid of it.
Has anyone had any progress or breakthroughs with feeling hard to love? I've been in therapy, and do work on my own, but I don't know how to even start with this. | ptsd |
**UPDATE: I was finally able to get my prescriptions for the rest of the month filled by a different pharmacy, with different dosages/medications. THANK YOU SINCERELY TO THOSE WHO OFFERED SUPPORT/ADVICE.**
Hi everyone - I know there are a lot of posts on this sub about difficulty filling your prescription, but I'm really hoping someone can suggest how to deal with this specific situation?
I'm truly one of us folks who struggles to function without my medication (Adderall) - My brain fogs up, I lose track of time and simple projects/tasks, etc.).
I was on a train home, asked a fellow passenger if they wouldn't mind watching my backpack and suitcase while I went to the bathroom, and when I returned to my seat, my backpack had been rifled through and my entire bag of medications had been stolen (along with my wallet and watch... :/). It was \~2.5 weeks worth.
My doctor was in touch immediately, told me to file a police report as soon as I got home and sent in prescriptions for all medications taken (I had 6 stolen). He was entirely sympathetic and had no problem sending in new ones.
When I went to my pharmacy (I have a good relationship with my pharmacist and psychiatrist), he refused to refill the 2 controlled substances I'm prescribed (Adderall and Klonopin). My doctor called him AGAIN, explained my situation, but he still refused.
HELP? I have no idea what to do - I've never filled a prescription early, brought in the police report of theft, and my pharmacist adamantly will not help me.
Can I have the prescriptions sent to another pharmacy (Wallgreens, Target, Walmart)?
I understand that it is ultimately at the discretion of the pharmacist, but I see no reason as to why he's unwilling to fill my prescription/do a partial refill at least?
FYI - Im in New Jersey
​
THANK YOU TO ANYONE WITH SUGGESTIONS FOR HELP! | ADHD |
So I’m not sure if the Titel really fits. Can’t come up with a better one, so apologies.
A couple weeks ago I got myself a weighted blanket as I have horrible sleep in generally. Got diagnosed a few months ago and also been on sleeping medication. Which makes a huge difference.
According to a guide online and on the ordering site, I got recommended 6kg but ended up with 6.8kg.
Now I feel the weight, it’s nice but I almost feel like it could be 1-2kg heavier for more effect. Is it just my imagination?
While those 6.8kg feel quite heavy when folded, I don’t feel the weight as much on my body when I lay down.
Is it worth to go up or just stay with the current weight for now and try getting used to it first? It’s my very first and I have nothing to compare it to. | ADHD |
My disability interview is coming up soon and I’ve never done this before. I’m interviewing with a different psychiatrist in my practice over the phone and I’m really really anxious because I don’t want to lose this opportunity. Quarantine was a godsend to me. I thrived not having to go around other people, not having to worry that I’d hurt somebody (exaggerated startle response on my peripherals) or that I’d get triggered by being around too many people too close to me. I was able to get everything but my scrips delivered and I could do those through a drive through so that was great too. Not having to go out lowered my stress and helped me avoid triggers to the point that I felt normal for the first time in a long time. And now that’s going away. Everything’s opening back up. And the thought of going back to college terrifies me. Not that I’m afraid of other people, I’m afraid I’ll get triggered and hurt somebody. And I did so well during quarantine. I feel like if I could just keep going like that I could be ok. Any advice for my interview? Thanks in advance. | ptsd |
My suicide would bring suffering to those around me, and that’s the only reason I’m still here. I wish everyone would just forget about me so I could finally leave. | depression |
I have a compulsion (I think) to leave all drawers and doors slightly ajar. I don’t have a “Close it and someone dies” feeling, but it just feels better to me. This drives my husband buggy and he constantly goes around closing things behind me. When he does this, it’s not like I feel the need to go back and open them. Does this sound like an actual compulsion? I have dermatillomania and adhd. And I am starting to think I have OCD as well. I am not asking someone to diagnose me. I just wonder if it’s still a compulsion if it just seems like the right thing to do with no associated threat. I can make myself close them. It just feels better not to. | OCD |
First: [A picture of right now](https://i.ibb.co/9pwJvY9/IMG-0555.jpg)
(Quick edit for [second picture of right now](https://i.ibb.co/fMWdYkj/Screen-Shot-2021-02-16-at-1-23-16-PM.png))
He is lying next to me as I am typing this. I followed all the tips I got and it worked. It felt so unreal and I am just now grasping the fact that he is really back. He gets chipped and neutered next monday.
I had some food, water, shelter, a litter box and a used bed sheet at the front door, but there was not much wind there. After tips I also put a bed sheet up in the wind at the rooftop door, together with more wet food and another litter box. I even went back up to take the lid of the box, and two and a half hours later he came back!
I woke up at 1:33AM, and checked on the door, nothing. Went back to sleep. Woke up an hour later, checked on the door, and again nothing. I went to the toilet and suddenly I heard the squeaky meows that are so recognisable at the front door. There he was, totally unharmed too.
I gave him some wet food, not too much at once. I think I've never seen a cat as happy as this one was. He purred the loudest and fell asleep squished between my SO and me in bed. He is very tired, and got thinner, but he is doing so well. Momma cat is not amused at all, but I guess she has to deal with it.
I originally posted to find tips to coop with myself and get through the tough days, but all your kind replies and stories about returning cats gave me hope! You really supported me and got me through it, and I feel like I am playing life on easy mode for a bit now. Thank all of you so much, you truly are the best.
Cat tax:
[Finn the cat, conquer of glaciers, destroyer of many things](https://i.ibb.co/gjdvdw5/Finn.jpg)
[Vinny the mom (names are a coincidence) who went all-in on all the extra attention last week](https://i.ibb.co/ZHtWT0r/Screen-Shot-2021-02-16-at-12-40-33-PM.png)
[Last night after taking Finn in. Leg is mine, arm is my SO's, Finn's sleeping on his shoulder](https://i.ibb.co/7Vkb45c/Screen-Shot-2021-02-16-at-12-42-42-PM.png)
Original post: [here] (https://old.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/lkfgsp/in_need_of_some_support_my_cat_is_lost_and_i_am/) | aspergers |
Edit: CW - Mention of stroke, death of parent.
Edit 2: improved word choice/diction.
Hi. First of all, I’m sorry if this comes off as rude since I technically wasn’t the direct victim of the traumatic event.
Like ~18 months ago, I witnessed my father have a massive brain bleed/stroke. We were in the driveway and I was the only one with him. Long story short he was dead within two weeks. Never spoke another word after he toppled over. The precise details of how he went down are part of what is so traumatic.
I never dealt with this trauma. It’s just been inside me all this time. And it’s taking it’s toll. Does anyone else have experience where you get physical pain and health anxiety? I was hyper focusing on minor health things for a while, but now my back hurts where my kidneys are and I’m scared because stress apparently can harm them.
I’m sorry, I’m not asking for medical advice, I’ll see a doctor. My main question is how do you guys prevent your trauma from encroaching into every aspect of your life.
I also have some other stressors that hurt but I can’t help but feel I could deal with them if it weren’t for the underlying trauma. | ptsd |
Ive been told by multiple people i yell in my sleep sometimes its a scream but more often yelling. At sleepovers people can tell when im about to yell so theyll wake up. I don’t remember the nightmares but its really embarrassing cause i have no recollection of it | ptsd |
Anyone else have vivid dreams about an ocd fear? Been dealing with this lately and I'm embarrassed to say that I've been ranting on twitter like a crazy lady on it and feeling like im seeing stuff. | OCD |
So this is probably just as related to anxiety as ADHD, but I thought I'd reach out for similar experiences and possibly advice.
For reference, I'm 27F and have been diagnosed/medicated for a bit over a year. It's totally changed my life.
My sense of self worth has always been intrinsically tied to my level of productivity. Most of the time, I'm not even producing anything. I'm just being anxious about being productive. I have to fill every moment of my day with activity or I feel worthless and frustrated. The only time I ever stop is when I'm so physically burnt out I literally can't move.
For example - when I'm not at my day job, I'm either writing and learning music on various instruments, teaching myself spanish, exercising, reading or studying to learn everything I possibly can. I can't even go for a walk without listening to a podcast or an audiobook cause I have to use it as an opportunity to 'learn something' and not waste time.
And like. I'm not having fun. None of these activities are fun anymore. It's literally just this obligation I've forced myself to have. I physically cannot relax. It drives me and everyone around me insane.
So, TLDR - has anyone had similar experience and can recommend some ways to force yourself to chill the hell out instead of just collapsing every couple of months? | ADHD |
I am tired, all the time. Even if I do get enough sleep I am tired. I always want to nap. Idk if its my sleep sucks so much that is never restful or what. It gets annoying because I might enjoy playing something but then get so tired i just lay down.
Also doesnt help that I sometimes snack to feel less tired. Even if I am not hungry. Also doesn't help when i suddenly get tired at work or behind the wheel of a car... I do wonder if maybe i should eat differently, trying to have more protein than carbs for meals... | ADHD |
I'm still trying to figure out my ADHD, what is it and what is bad habits. I'm struggling with remembering stuff or remembering to do anything RIGHT after the phone reminder comes up, but I'm in the bathroom or finishing something else so I dismiss it/silence it and forget. Or I'll still be late despite the hour long heads up alert I programmed.
Or I write stuff down only to find out I somehow wrote it on the wrong date, of even month?
I also made lists and see them and I can't find the motivation to start so I put it off feeling like I made progress making a "plan" but then I never have time to finish it.
Anyway, anyone else have this issue? Is this even ADHD if "calendars" and "to do lists" don't always work for some reason?
It's gotten to the point where everyone else is asking to remember for me...and some of them also have ADHD and successful and seem normal. so it's confusing how they can do it but I can't. I'm on meds as of last month but it's not helping as much as I dreamed it would. :/ | ADHD |
My child is more frequently refusing to do their homework. It is becoming a major point of stress in our evenings. They are moody because they can't get interested enough to start and anxious because they will get in trouble at school if they don't. It spirals. I don't know what to do about it. There is a bit of ODD in the mix so it's easy to get pulled into a useless power struggle. I am hoping medication will help but we are not there yet.
I am at a loss about what to do. I cannot stand over them while they are doing it. I have tried helping but I have a feeling it's only enabling the behavior. I would find the answer and put the page number for them to read to get the answer. I want them to understand they need to put the work in to get the answers. Reading is an important study skill. They read and comprehend fine. It is the focus and self starting.
I can empathize, but that only goes so far and doesn't get the work done. | ADHD |
I’ve been wondering the last few days whether my being depressed is due to my regular depression or if SAD might be a factor. I’ve never been diagnosed with it and it may be purely coincidental that I’ve been a bit more depressed since the sun goes down before 5. But I don’t know if that would even affect me since I live in a basement apartment and try not to leave it unless absolutely necessary | depression |
Ive been miserable for years and constantly trying to figure out what my problem is and why I never feel happy. Taken multiple tests online to find out wether I have depression or some sort of other illness. Since quarantine started, things got a lot worse.When I was a child I’ve always had ‘rituals’ where I repeat certain actions to feel assured. It was nothing out of the ordinary though but for over a year now my brain started constantly fixating on certain topics that were mostly very disturbing. I felt like I was the most terrible person on earth to even think those thoughts but I couldnt stop because they just kept on repeating themselves 24 hours a day. I looked into it and found out about different types of OCD and the symptoms were very familiar. I dont know for certain if I have OCD but what I know is that my brain is eating me up. I want treatment but my parents dont listen to me. It took a lot of courage to speak about it with my mom because shes usually not the person I go to when something’s concerning me.(I rarely talk to anyone because I feel like nobody would understand what im going through)Well long story short, she doesnt believe me. Says that those thoughts are ‘normal’ because she had them too when she was younger. The problem is she probably has OCD herself. I love my mom and Im grateful for everything shes done for us. She grew up in serbia and worked hard alongside her siblings and parents to live the life she has now. She had to leave behind her family to live with my dad in germany and I feel like theres some things that happened to her in her childhood or earlier life she still hasnt coped with. Im not trying to diagnose her or anything but every time me and my sister misplace something while tidying our rooms, all hell breaks loose. Shes usually very caring but as soon as anyone makes a slight mistake she starts shouting and saying things that are very hurtful without realizing it. I want help. The thoughts are destroying me and the current realtionship with my mom is only making it worse. I want my mom and my sister to be happy but that would only be achievable with professional help but I wont be getting that anytime soon. If anyone could help me and tell me if theres some online sites that could help me deal with these issues in some way id be very grateful because the only thing keeping me alive right now is the fact that suicide is forbidden by my religion. | OCD |
Everything is being erased from my memory,i have nothing i remember well,only some trauma i experienced,even those i don’t remember them in deep details..I feel like im stuck in a loop and I cant get out,I’ve lost all my friends because im depressed and suicidal i guess..i dont even remember the time i spent with them,thats a blur aswell,only pictures kind of remind me.Idk whats wrong with me. | depression |
I struggle with certain topics when people dont agree with me because I have been rejcted, abused and excluded. I honestly love debates but most conflicts have been one side forcing their opinion on the other party, which me. And I did not have the option to walk away or confront back. It does not matter if the topic is about relgion or abortion but if it is something really personal to me, which I have been made fun and I see someone who is happy when my happienss was stolen I feel horrible and just cut off the perso nand pretend they do not exist. Even their voice triggers me to tears. I know this is not norma. I know it is a sign of weakness since before i didn't care if the other perso nagreed with me since their opinion was on them. But now, even seeing teenagers playing outside can trigger me since the internet was my escapeism to forget the fact how lonely I am and how I have no one to hang out with. Especially since I was sunny, positive, nice and helpful and was abused until I self harmed and stoped washing, now seeing teenagers happy reminds me of what my life could have been, therefore triggering negartive emotions, insecurities and thoughts. Anything can trigger me now, and I have a lot bigger over reaction than I used to as a child because I supressed my emotions for years and now my emotions are scared to show them selves and I feel pain, whether I express them or not. I wish the outside world which I have isolated my self from to the pont where I have lost my social skills and now can't speak but also due to asperger, didn't hurt me so much. i AM jealous of other people. I wish I did not get so sefverely upset by seeing people smile, due to the fact that my smile was stolen and if I smiled in class I was abused further and idd not talk to my classmates who hated me. I want to be happy but struggle wit hsuciidal thoughts and depression and struggle to express my self and be verbal. I just take abuse since i have been abused by peers since childhood and now if yo uslap me or shout at me I will most likely not say anything and take it, which it self invites more abuse. I want to no longer be abused but I am too vulnerable and annoying and weird and people just always hate me n omatter how much I try to correct my self nad people please. I just wish I could develop boundaries | ptsd |
So I’ve been having issues with harm OCD. I’m afraid I’ll harm myself, babies, and people who have wronged me. Naturally I would never kill anything. I couldn’t even kill an animal. But I’m worried and here’s why
When I was a kid I remember taking little big catchers and catching Crain flies and shaking them until they died. That makes me cringe even saying that. And when my dad saw I told him “well there’s more out there anyway” like it didn’t matter I killed it. I also would step on a ton of ants. I would never even do this now but even like last year when flies get into the house i kind of enjoy trying to swat them with a towel and trying to hit them. I heard psychopaths start on small animals. Does this count?!?!? I would never ever even harm a Crain fly for no reason now, let alone something like a rat or dog
Now here’s why I think it’s just OCD. My dad always says I have a huge heart. If I was a psychopath would my parents be able to tell since an early age i didn’t have a huge heart? And like 2 weeks ago I almost cried arguing with my mom lol. And I also woke up in panic after dozing off a lot of times because I remember one day my old dog is going to die. I’m just worried liking swatting flies and shaking Crain flies and saying that weird stuff as a kid means I’m psycho. What do you guys think? | OCD |
i just been feeling so drained lately, having multiple breakdowns, just completely lost, feeling unloved, just sick and tired of everything, wanting things to end but at the same time i don’t. i’m 17 a senior, i literally don’t know what the fuck to do with my life after high school or who i wanna be. most of my close ones just ignores me and aren’t there for me. everyone’s got their shit together but not me. i don’t know how to get my shit together. what is even life anymore? | depression |
I have it so bad, I have to film or take photos with my phone to make sure I didn’t forget anything.
Does anyone else struggle with constant checking? | OCD |
Hi
Sorry to take your time.
My ocd has been getting 1000times worse than before and I don’t have a second where I don’t have ocd and therefore, I can’t do anything for my dream to come true no matter how hard I try because I waste most of my time on ocd consciously or subconsciously(most).
How can someone live if they know they can’t reach their dreams? I’m here trying harder and harder everyday but the harder I try the harder ocd tries to ruin it.
And the worst part is I actually had the ability to reach my dream and I’ve had many accomplishments when my life was ok but now it’s just me doing a test with my mind thinking about how every letter is printed, how every number is printed, how should I move my leg right now, where should my hands be, wtf has happened to my life, why are my eyes hurting, am I sure that what I know is right?, what if it’s wrong, what if … and after 20 minutes a test is done
Yay I guess
I can’t get anywhere like this so
I just wanted to know if it’s worth living knowing you can’t reach your dreams.
And if it is how am I supposed to cope with this alien inside my head talking none sense non stop. | OCD |
I suffer from Pectus Excavatum, it can either occur during birth or puberty, in my case it happened during a growth spurt at 13 and I’ve never been happy since.
As a young adult male at 21, having a deformed chest, having to look at it 24/7, cringing and feeling it it 24/7, having doctors incapable in my country to do the surgery to fix it. That knowing there’s a cure but I can’t afford surgery in America. Not the go fund me type as it would be embarrassing letting the world know I’m deformed. On top of all this bullshit having my sister die from a od when I was 17. I think of suicide everyday but the only thing holding me back is that if I die I can not leave the damage of my death with my mom as both her kids would be gone. I always had a single mom and when she’s gone I truly will be the only one left and feel like I’m fully gonna kill myself the day she leaves this world. Please those who have healthy bodies don’t take it for granted. I can not even go to the fucking gym because the more I workout my chest, the deeper my concavity gets as having a deformed rib cage causes my pecs to be deformed. I am tired of never being able to take my shirt off and never been to the beach since 13. Those who are depressed tell me the gym can ease my mind but even that will not work for me. I ask god why me, just why me? nothing makes sense anymore and I’ll die alone what female wants a guy with a deformed chest. Nobody close to me even knows how bad it is as I wear hoodies in the summer and layers all the time. It’s a lonely fucking condition to have ... I just wish I could be the way I was supposed to be but this condition has mentally fucked me up so bad. If you have no body deformations I encourage you to hit the gym and be the best version of yourself and work hard, in my case working hard in the gym I’ll still look fucking ugly as nothing can fix my deformed bones and muscle. Man fuck depression, fuck trauma of my sister being gone now. Fuck life. Fuck Pectus Excavatum I hate choosing between going to university or sacrificing these years and working construction to save up to treat a condition I didn’t wish to fucking have. | depression |
I used to have extreme social anxiety which made me assume that was the reason for my discomfort in social situations.
I worked hard to get rid of the anxiety but the discomfort didn't shift. One day I realised what I was actually feeling was boredom. Crippling boredom. I hating sitting listening to people, waiting for my turn, and wishing I was at home doing my latest project. But I've always forced myself to keep up my friendships, because society says sitting at home investing hours of hyper-focus into esoteric interests is a waste of time, and the right thing to do is sink hours into sitting listening to people talk instead.
Well the pandemic has been an excellent test case in which I have not seen my friends for a year - albeit I'm married and see my mum every day, so I've not been completely alone. But have I felt the crippling absence of friendship? No, it's been bliss TBH.
The only question is what to do now with that information :/ | aspergers |
Hey, I've been doing something new and fresh. I'm being nice to myself.
You have to do this: When you do the thing, whatever you achieve or accomplish or maybe something irritating that you don't do, stop and give yourself a pat on the back.
Take the moment to recognize it. You lay down all kinds of bad stuff all day, you need to put some nice into it. It doesn't just happen. It has to be deliberate.
Gotta build in little victories, and you have to feel them. | aspergers |
I used to enjoy videogames. Now, I only play them just bc I don't have anything to do. I don't enjoy them. It's just so boring. I used to write things, stories. I started one and it was the best one yet, but I suddenlly just stopped. I dont have the energy to write, it feels as it is just another task. Everything is boring. When I'm free, it feels like there's nothing to do. I dont have the urge to read, or watch sth either. Its just not fun. I don't know if I am just burnt out from all these things or sth else
I am just seeking advice and looking for help. I may be depressed, I may not. I dont know what to do. | depression |
I had a couple cavities. Nothing shocking but my dentist explained that I was at a high risk for developing more because of certain medications as well as a predilection for sweets... She told me I had to floss after every meal and I can’t let sugar sit on my teeth ever. If I don’t take very strict control of my teeth, I might need caps placed on.
Guys... I could feel a new obsession creeping in. I FEEL food on my teeth, especially sugars. I’ve flossed 4 times today. Most of all, I just feel like my mouth is rotting. I keep swishing with water or mouthwash to get clean.
So I guess this is my life now. See ya in hell 🙃 | OCD |
For example I was obsessed with the fear that my dog (puppy at the time) was getting too big and I was constantly looking up statistics and growth charts to compare. I also was afraid that I would have male chromosomes without me knowing it which would mean I was actually genetically speaking a boy (while I’m a girl). Another weird one is that I was afraid that when I would look in the mirror and think I looked good it would mean I was in love with myself which means I’m attracted to the same gender which means I must be secretly gay… | OCD |
Ok I’m gonna be upfront I’m really struggling rn. Brain has v bad thoughts (which I won’t go into as it will be triggering) and I’m so close to a voluntary grippy sock vacation. I’ve tried a lot of coping mechanisms/strategies and none have helped. I’ve also tried a lot of sh alternatives/distractions. Please let me know what things help you. What positive thoughts do you find actually help you? What are some reasons to live you find helpful? Some coping strategies to get through it? Some counter thoughts do the more ✨spicy✨ thoughts. Just for reference of some boundaries we are working within it is 3am where I am, I have no one I can call and I can’t be loud as I have a housemate. | depression |
Hey.. I have severe OCD and the type I'm not so certain of. I'm a gay male in a relationship wih a lovely absolutely gorgeous guy. He's the light of my world. I have severe trust issues from a past relationship and people in my life ( My parents, friends past relationship and cousins.) using and manipulating me. My OCD feels as if it will never let me trust a word my lover says even with proof of him being truthful. I was never like this it hurts.. I know it's my OCD because I get this craving to pray and or wash "lies" off of my hands. I know this is TMI but I struggled with porn in my Youth severely. It's taken a tight grip on my OCD and it tries to cope with it. I feel as if these two just make eachother worse. When my episodes go away I can completely trust him and don't feel the need to cope with porn, praying, or washing my hands. I just needed to vent. I'm frustrated with who I am. It's causing such a barrier in our sex life as well and I wish I could just be normal.. | OCD |
What do I need to know?
I don’t know what it all means.
I flew under the radar because I thought it was religious trauma symptoms. | aspergers |
For example, I can drive past a car accident, a person can be dead on the ground and I just don't care, I didn't know them, it's not my problem.
The same thing say, if I was on a walk and someone was dying or dead, I'd keep walking, mostly because the Police would put me as the #1 Suspect but also because I just couldn't care less.
I know it sounds dark, it probably is. I do care about some people I know, like obviously when my Mum dies, I'll take it very hard. | aspergers |
CW/TW: uncomfortable topics including pedophilia and physical abuse
Some background:
I was in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship when I was 15 with someone who was 7 years older than me. When we moved towns, my mother was never home because she was at her boyfriend's. That's the only reason I got away with being in that relationship.
During it, he gaslighted me constantly, especially after I found child porn on his laptop. He cheated on me on multiple occasions. He hit me occasionally, the worst he ever did was pull me from the bed by my hair. I was lucky that's the worst of it. I was finally able to leave after nearly 2 years May 10th of last year.
I was only recently diagnosed with PTSD after talking to my therapist about recurring nightmares and panic attacks when I see him, expect to see him but he doesn't show up (we play at the same d&d club AT A HIGH SCHOOL.) and I have mistaken strangers for him on several occasions.
I was alone pretty much all night last night after not being home alone for 2 months (my best friend moved in with me) and it was the worst night I've had. I was constantly dissociating, and I'm not sure if I've had flashbacks but I definitely thought about my time in the relationship quite a bit. During the night I had an awful nightmare and I'd rather not go into detail.
I told my mom about the nightmare and she basically told me to get over it. Her exact words were: "You shouldn't give him the power to make you feel that way." She also said I just need to get out of that headspace and it would go away.
This crushed me. She hasn't been home more than two days a week since I was 13. She doesn't know exactly what happened, and I don't think she knows how mental illness works, despite her having depression as well. I just feel like she refuses to listen to me and doesn't care what I have to say anyways.
Tl;dr: my absentee mother told me to stop giving my abuser power to hurt me and to get over it. I'm already having an awful few days, and this isn't helping. | ptsd |
Unfortunately, I have said harmful and ignorant things in the past and the fact I did that is quite literally eating me alive. I feel horrible for what I did. I feel I deserve to feel this horrible and sometimes this even makes me reach a point where I think what is the point in going on?
I worry how many friends and such I would lose over this. I worry about what could happen. Then, I feel I deserve punishment at the same time. I barely wanna leave my house and talk to anyone because I feel like a horrible monster.
Seeing things on the internet about how people cannot grow and change makes me feel worse and wonder if I deserve anything I have and if I am awful? I have grown from who I was and I am still working on growing. I hate thinking about the awful and dumb things I said in the past, even though none of them had the intention of harming ANYONE. Despite my intention of just trying to be “funny” it doesn’t mean it wasn’t harmful and okay to say. I was ignorant. How can I get past this. I feel I do not even deserve to get past this. This honestly has to be the worst OCD theme I have ever experienced.
I deleted tiktok and twitter, as those seem to be places that have the most exposure of those who have done wrong things. (I am NOT condoning any harmful actions, I just feel deleting them is best for my OCD, as they are what triggered this theme) | OCD |
For me I have wore white shirts (I got 10 and about 70 ish more shirts I don't wear as they have designs of things I have interest or different colors) and sweat shorts all year round since as I can remember (at least since middle school.) Under this routine, I wake up and look for a certain tag logo on the shirts. The older white shirts have the tag logo bigger (keep in mind all clothing is tagless/ tag printed on shirt due to the feel of them not making my sensory issues go wild.)
These shirts are 3xl while my mom says I am a xl.(although I see myself as a 4xl) 3xl means they aren't as tight and the feel isn't strangling my body. Many times I take off and put on shirts until I get that one which doesn't feel irritating on my chest.
Underwear and shorts have similar methods. I check tons of underwear before deciding that the one isn't thick. They make all boxers thick now it seems which bothers me. Even though I have around 25 pair I only wear around 8 with holes and strings I play with all day. I'm sure I look gross on the outside looking in at someone with there hand in shorts but it helps keep me calm.
I had this with socks too. Many had holes and with how long it took me to decide with socks a day my mom made me throw them out. It was really upsetting for a few weeks.
What sucks the most is doing laundry as I find it hard to understand it all together. So many different settings are on the machine. So many different combinations of detergents, softeners and deciding what can get washed together. I end up wearing dirty clothes and not informing mother as I hide anything and everything I can to avoid my family disappointment, mental health in the South of US is still somewhat taboo
I can operate the dryer on but I can't figure out if something is dry enough not tell heat well (problem that extends to microwaving and cooking. Thankfully I haven't found a way to overcook laundry) I just keep the dryer on until mom gets time to check them; especially because the dryer buzzer is so freaking loud and you can't turn it off. | aspergers |
I've always had trouble with this. I'll be having a conversation, the other person will stop talking, and I think they're done so I start talking - and we both end up talking over each other at the same time. It's very frustrating for everyone involved, but I suspect it's even more frustrating for them. I guess I just don't know how to tell which pauses mean they're done, or which mean they're getting ready to speak again.
Any advice? | ADHD |
I got diagnosed with OCD and Generalized Anxiety very recently so maybe I'm still trying to accept my situation... But, does anyone else feel like their a fraud and don't actually have OCD and just mentally weak.
Like any normal person can list out a few symptoms of a disorder and get a diagnosis even if they don't have it. Maybe after researching OCD, relating with the symptoms, and setting an appointment, I subconsciously picked up those ideas to mimic my diagnosis... I just can't shake that idea out of my mind.
My OCD ebbs a lot, so some days when my compulsions and intrusive thoughts are less and not as bad, I feel like I'm faking that I have OCD... and that compels me to do more compulsions since someone who actually has OCD would do it...and then that provides relief to myself that I'm not faking the symptoms.
Or... has my OCD just gone meta lol? | OCD |
I was wondering if anyone here has this harm obsession that feeds off the presence of people that can’t escape or get help if you abruptly attacked them. It’s really devastating the thoughts that OCD forces into my head. I feel like a monster | OCD |
Hey there! I hope you're having a lovely day!
So I am a 22yo woman with have generalized anxiety and on Instagram, I keep being shown content related to ADHD and as I relate quite a lot to it, I suppose Instagram algorithm just keep recommend it to me which makes sense but which made me question if I didn't have ADHD too. So I wanted to ask if anyone has both and how it feel like, what are the symptoms we might expect from someone with ADHD but which are "hidden" by anxiety (I hope what I am saying makes sense). I am currently seeing a therapist but for now I've seen her only once, I am planning to ask her about the possibility of me having ADHD once she knows me more but I am still however a bit since I am scared of her not taking it seriously. So yes, I hope to find here on Reddit some guidance, someone with a similar feeling!
(EDIT: spelling) | ADHD |
I've been in a less depressed state and I can honestly say I don't see any reason to bother living. What is there to live for? Love? Passions or hobbies? Pleasure? Is that really worth all the pain? I can't imagine living so long for these things. | depression |
I’m a student in high school who just got a proper diagnosis for adhd and I’m always lacking on my homework so what are something’s I can do to actually do to motivate myself to do homework I want to be better but homework for whatever reason always skips right past my mind. I want to go to a decent college but my gpa is too low to convince anyone to accept me. I’ve been researching ways to trick my brain to do my homework and get dopamine out of it but it just seems to fail each time. | ADHD |
My sibling has been heavily depressed for over a year now and nothing has changed no matter how much i try. I am also depressed so i try to convey what helps me get through it but we are just too different i guess
They don't want our parents to know but it has gone on for too long and there is no sign of it getting better. I am afraid of betraying their trust but i genuinely think it's for the best | depression |
I just feel like I'm just acting my PTSD just because multiple doctors have diagnosed me with it so I feel like I need to validate them. Like I feel nothing when I recount my trauma, I literally can talk about it straight face and unfeeling and I just feel bad and horrible that I'm not experiencing it the same as others which gives me an imposter syndrome.
I know if multiple doctors agree on my diagnosis it's probably correct, but like *my brain disagrees.* | ptsd |
I don’t know if I should go to a hospital. I had to keep myself from calling 911 when I took the meds (Seroquel) the first time because it hit me like a truck and then my heart started racing really fast. I took them again in the morning as my doctor said and it had the same effect. I only slept for about 2-3 hours each time and then just feel groggy and my vision is blurry. I tried to call my cardiologist to make sure the medication wasn’t messing with my heart but I can’t get an answer. On top of this all, I’m worried food is gonna poison me and/or my heart is gonna give out so trying to function is a huge struggle. I’m just so overwhelmed and don’t know what to do. The psych hospitals around here are talked about pretty poorly online but I know I need to take care of myself and I haven’t really been. I feel like I can’t trust anyone or myself anymore. Fuck, this is hard to write. | OCD |
Is OCD the only type of mental illness that can get intrusive thoughts? | OCD |
Does anyone have mind games they make up either as a coping technique for intrusive thoughts, or just for fun? For example, I count everything. All the time. Like, I barely ever stop, but I’m so used to it that it doesn’t even seem like I’m doing it. I count the tiles, plants, lines in the road, parts of chairs, I add up the letters in certain sentences as I hear people say things or when I read things (I rearrange the words in my head so they fit within the rules I have for the game like having more letters on the bottom line of each section of words), etc.
I remember telling my friends this growing up and they were like “yeah…that’s not the kind of games we were thinking of lol” and that’s when I realized maybe it wasn’t the norm. I still do it constantly now at 25. It doesn’t bother me. My therapist and I have talked about it. I’m just curious about other experiences! | OCD |
Their believes, ways of thinking of how things should be done makes the world difficult for us. I'm talking about people that created how schools and jobs and society in general work.
I wish we could change it around and only keep the people that don't make it difficult for us. I wish we could redefine the rules so living is not a scam anymore, so that everything is fair. | aspergers |
I’m worried my ocd is going to ruin my relationship. For context I’m 17(male) my partner is 17(female).
I keep confessing things to my partner is I can feel honest and get rid of a feeling of guilt but it’s not fair on her.
Has anyone who’s experienced this found a way to deal with it? | OCD |
I’ve got tocd hopfefully anyways and I can always feel my genitals now and I’m hyper aware of my body | OCD |
Hey. I'm a nineteen year old agender creature. I'm finally doing it, six years of the worst dysphoria is finally coming to an end tomorrow. (Due to a typo some people thought it was a few days ago, it's tomorow, don't worry).
I geuss now is my chance to just reflect on everything. My life has changed so much, I wanted to wait until I had this surgery to go to college, so for the past year I've just been wandering the city, without any school or job it's just been weird. I've just sort of been doing random activities, wandering around Manhattan, it hasn't been bad, I've met people (including my wonderful girlfriend) and had some great experiences just wandering or doing random stuff. I geuss nothing about going to college will actually change my ability to wander around the city or do random things.
Part of me is afraid of not having genitals anymore, because a big part of me is afraid of moving forward with myself. There will always be part of me that will only ever want to be the person I was in highschool, even that person had panic attacks every night, looked a way that made me dysphoric, and yelled at people on the internet a lot. It's just weird for me to imagine never being able to do things again. and that goes back to living without genitals, even though those parts upset me, they're a part of me, and looking down and seeing something else is going to be weird. And when I look down at my current anatomoy for too long I'll start to cry because of how my body just doesn't look like myself.
A lot of the fear of transitioning kind of comes from the feeling that I don't deserve it. I often feel privleged, I live someone where bigorty is very rare (at least the violent kind), my parents are wealthy and supportive, I often feel like everything I've done for myself is a selfish act of privelge. It feels like I should be doing things for other people, and I only deserve to make others happy. There's this weird guilt of selfishness around my transition that feels like it shouldn't be there.
Then there's of course the pure fear element. Fear of going under the knife, fear of what people will think of me, fear that some thing is going to go wrong. There's just this constant voice in the back of my head worried that this will be a mistake, like, even though I know on an intelectual level that this is the only healthy option for someone like me, there's part of me that's still horrifed at the idea of destroying part of my body like this. And a lot of people agree with that voice in my head. It wouldn't be mentally healthy to succumb to that anxinty, it would be regressing to a time when I was less mentally healthy.
I think the thing that disturbs me the most, the thing that makes me most afraid to actually go through with everything, is the fact that being actually genderless disturbs me. The idea that I am alien to what almost everyone else in the world is, that I'm never go to be like pretty much everyone I see on tv, that I'm actually some strange alien creature. It's still kind of hard to come to terms that I'm actually something so alien and inhuman, that I'm actually this strange genderless creature. And even though it will make me happier, there's always going to be this deep sadness within me that I'm not a normal person, and that the anatomoy that I'm going to spending most of my life with isn't what a normal human has. Of course I know that's the way things are, there's nothing good that will come out of it. I've come to terms that I'll only be happy dressing in male clothing, or with they them prononus, I geuss I'll have to learn that I'll be happy this way too.
It's weird, my girlfreind lives with me now. Its great to just have her here. But looking at her, playing with her boobs, touching her crotch, it's clear that's never going to be the body I want. I don't hate these parts, I love these parts, I'm just not happy with them as part of my own body.
I had a party to finally say goodbye to my genitals. And it ws really great, and not just in the way any party makes me extreamly happy. Getting to present the loss of my genitals in a happy way, surrounded by my friends. Showing it as something to look forward to, something that other people are proud of me for and can celebrate with me. It made me thing of it as something a lot less scary, and something that doesn't make me any less human. It makes it seem like something to actually be happy about. And it also allowed me to explain it to my freinds in a way where they wouldn't see it as scary either. Some people tried to talk me down from it, but not as many as I expected. In general it was just a great way for me to see it as something normal, like the irl version of seeing postive representation.
And I am going to be happier without genitals. Just finally being able to feel comfortable with my body, not noticing that I have those parts and becoming unhappy. Being able to change or shower normally. Being able to just look at my body and be happy about what I am. Being able to sleep with my girlfeind naked, and being able to have her actually be able to touch my body. Just not feeling like I'm in someone elses body, not feeling like there's always a wound between my legs, not feeling like I'm some broken barbie doll. Not only not having bottom dysphoira anymore, but the bottom euphoria I'm going to feel finally having the organs I want, and just knowing I'm no longer female on a anatomical level, knowing I can never be assaulting through that area.
This was a long post. And there's a lot that's still happening. There's still always going to be dysphoria (I'll never be able to eat as much as I want due to having to maintain androgony, I'll still have breasts for the time being) , but wihout genitals I'll have a lot less dysphoria, and a lot more euphoria. I also want to feel less like a victim, I've been assaulted through my genitals before, so there's a satificaltion to not being able to have that happen anymore, and I'm thinking of getting a weapon, I have the class privilege to get one legally.
What do you guys think, has anyone been though similar feelings. I'd love any advice or support you have.
Edit: just to clarify, the surgery will leave me without any genitals, just smooth skin and a hole to pee out of. I know some people wonder what exactly I'm getting when they first hear I'm losing my genitals. | OCD |
I will go
1. I need to relearn math
2. Get my driver's license
3. Relearn Arabic, Hindi
4. Learn French
5. 20 books I started and never finished
6 . Like 6 abandoned art projects
7. Meditation practice I can't keep up
8. Journaling practice I can't keep up.
What I do instead
Meme on social media and Dance like a maniac to daft punk and Arianna grande.
Your turn ? | ADHD |
My attention span and reading comprehension is really bad, but i've to start reading books for school. i also want to start reading for my own interest.
however i find it really hard to keep track of what's going on, often my eyes just go through the text "reading" without absorbing much.
I feel bored or confused by the books i'm assigned for schoo and lose track. the subjects i'd like to read on are kind of hard to start out on (psychology, philosophy). how do i find a middle ground? how do i make myself absorb textual information properly? | aspergers |
I have to keep writing this so I can process it. And I have to keep letting myself cry.
I was visiting Cape Flattery on the coast and driving through a town called Neah Bay. There was a pack of 5 or 6 motorcycles ahead of me. Through the town they were driving slow, maybe 15 mph. They looked safe. After a few miles I lost them as I assumed they sped up and I was driving the speed limit (30) because the roads are extremely windy. In the moment before I turned the bend I was so happy. I had just seen one of the most beautiful views in the world, I met a new friend, and I felt proud of myself to do this all on my own. I was singing to Vance Joy and dancing in my car.
I turn around the bend, and the motorcyclists are everywhere. And I mean everywhere. I'm the first responder there and one man flags me down. I park my car, engine still running, flung my door open and ran out asking "what can I do, what can I do". I start hyperventilating. The man who flagged me down points to his friend who is 10 feet away from me, laying face down, groaning and twitching. His left leg was bent in a way that shouldn't be possible. His friend was screaming, "Kevin breathe! Kevin wake up, wake up!!"
I started to have a panic attack. I'm running in both directions to stop cars. I'm screaming at people to call 911. They ask whats happening, I just repeat "Call 911 Call 911 he is dying! he is dying" The thing is, nobody had any service for at least 20 miles in each direction. Even in Neah Bay the town I had just come from had no service. One of the bikers stopped a bus who had a radio and told him to drive as fast as he could to get service and radio in to 911 our location. But by this time it had been 20 minutes. Kevin wasn't moving. He was groaning less and less.
The biker who flagged me down started having the cars pass through one lane. The lane that his body wasn't laying in. After they left I walked over and watched his friend kneel down and put his hand on Kevin's back. Lightly, like he was sending him off. I couldn't stop crying and panicking and hyperventilating, and I didn't want to take away from their moment. This was their friend, not mine. The biker who flagged me down walked to me, hugged me, and thanked me. But that was all we could do.
I got in my car and drove to the next place I could stop. I laid on the grass, tried to take deep breaths, and prayed. I can't stop picturing it. I had to drive home 3 hours the next day and I saw a motorcyclist and started crying. I saw an ambulance and started panicking. I am on edge and I can't sleep. I don't know how to end this, I just needed to write. | ptsd |
I have never experienced a low like this before, or atleast from what I can remember. I am normally very rollercoaster with my moods but anymore it is just panic attacks and then right back to an immense amount of depression. I just fear something is wrong with me health wise that the doctors are missing that’s causing this. My health anxiety is taking over my life. | OCD |
I broke my leg on may 1st when i was visting some family friends with my dad and brother. I had 6 fractures, 3 plates, 13 screws and 3 scars on my right leg. Ive spent about close to a week in a hospital and the first couple nights I couldn't sleep because my brain kept going back to when I broke my leg. I kept reliving the memory, the fall and the pain. And still being in school i was worrying my ass off about school work, and since my brother broke my charger for my laptop I couldn't work until I came back home in Alberta. So I've spent all my days just worrying about work and reliving my fall, but that soon wouldn't even be the less of my worries for I have a screwed up family (as one does)
Now to explain what kind of family I have is to explain that, I'm first generation Canadian; on both sides of my family. Both of my parents sides are from the former USSR, their point of views are so dramastically different from mine. As in they think that the younger you are the more stupid you are and the more elder you are the more superior you are. My fathers grandparents live downstairs from my moms place (my parents are divorced and long story short, we have a long history of trauma coming from both sides... Life is so much fun...) And they had a bed for me to sleep on... I didn't complain because it was bad enough that I'm suffering from the pain from the leg, even though I hate my grandparents (they also gave me trauma, we love that so much😑) and one of the many mental illness I have anxiety! With that anxiety I am very touchy with how people approach me, especially with the people who gave me pain in the past. Being back home on may 12th, I was ok with being back. It wasn't until 2 days of them asking me constantly questions and wanting to eat I finally snapped after 5 months of keeping my cool and being happy... Even after telling them on the first day that I dont want to bombarded with them asking me anything. They continue doing the same thing... Being a man of his words I do ask when to eat... When im not being asked. It actually makes me less hungry and more agitated. Its like a waitress asking you is everything ok every 15 minutes, now imagine having a broken leg and you can't go on walk to calm yourself down... That was my life up until my birthday...
To many times I have just ignored them because I just didnt want to deal with them, to many times I had respond angrily and to many times they talked behind my back to other family members. While having mind you a curtain for a door... To many nights ive cried myself to sleep, to many days wasted with my mind racing trying to justify myself and going to vain because I can't change what they think. There's been so many days and nights where I wanted to kill or hurt myself even more... They thought the stuff that I wanted them to do (dont touch/talk/approach me unless I'm asking for something) was just a joke and that I'm just joking... I really wasn't. Its one of the ways I actually put myself together. Backstory, I've had PTSD since I was a kid back in my hometown Toronto, Ontario and between being 4 and 17 I figured out how to help with my PTSD and how to calm it down and one of the ways is to distance myself from the problem and have a breather before I go back in. But I couldn't do that because A. I had a broken leg B. My grandparents are short minded and C. I had no privacy and to explain that my room is my grandparents closet and computer room... They just a single teen bed in the corner and I couldn't move anything because then they would be mad and bluh bluh... Now if we remember that i said my grandma likes to talk about me behind my back to my family? Yes now every time she goes to a video call or phone with any of them I can hear everything... I dont know if its verbal or mental abuse but it got me bad. And because of this, I got into a cycle with them. I would sit in my bed or sit at the computer probably doing digital art or homework, one of them would walk in and i would say nothing because I'm getting tired of them. They would come even closer to me to touch/talk to me (yes they would touch me to get the attention i dont like it at all) and I would respond with something Idk it sometimes would be grumpy because its like... "Oh it's you again...😒" I wouldn't say that but that was my mood. They would say something that they want to do I wouldn't be in the mood to do anything with them and would respond nicely before they got on my nerves... They get on my nerves and I bark back and then she would tell everyone... This has exhausting mental cycle that I been through for over 8 weeks... And when I talk about it to my dad, who helped me through the broken leg and all that and being that these are his parents. He would give me advice on how to deal with them... The problem is I did them all... And its still the same respond... I given up with reasoning with them... I'm done with crying everyday... The stress with the leg and being back in the same environment that I've been the last 7 to 9 years... yeah I'm kind of done... I can't wait to walk a lot better, to get a job so I can money again and just be out of this toxic household... And not to mention when ever I complain to my family about how I'm in literal hell with them and that I need a breather, they just say "stop complaining your no better then them"... That actually broke my spirit for a long ass time. Its like I'm force to live with them, they have free speech in this house But when I'm feeling unsafe and unhappy I'm in wrong... My morals are so messed up I genuinely dont know what's right or wrong anymore...
__________________
Sorry if this is so messed up in how this is structured, but not writing for awhile does that😁 | ptsd |
It took a lot of memorization for me to get this down, but I really struggled to read analogue clocks for a long time. I also had issues with telling what was my right or left side. I'm not sure why because I was known to be an intelligent child, but I often felt really stupid since I struggled with understanding the most simplest of things. It also took me a very long time to figure out how to tie my shoes, and I'm pretty sure that I'm tying them wrong, but I've never bothered to research the proper way to tie shoes. It's one of the reasons why I leave my laces loose so that I can just slip my feet into my sneakers. | aspergers |
Anyone else try ketamine infusions for their un treatable ocd. I’ve been struggling with ocd since middle school and no medication works. Recently I’ve been getting ketamine. 6 treatments. I’m then gonna get Magnet therapy. So far this seems like it might work. | OCD |
\[26,F\] If somebody is coming around the corner, or behind me, like any person will very normally do, and I don't see them, they very well might "spook" me. And I scream, like no joke, I absolutely scream a terrified "I'm about to get killed" shrill, like I have a HORROR MOVIE loud, up-pitched scream that terrifies the other person who accidentally spooked me. It's very embarrassing, but also, it feels so awful to think that the other person thinks they did anything wrong when they're literally just... existing normally, I just happened not to have seen them. I do believe this is a trauma response.
Yeah.... I am SO embarrassed, and feel bad, by it. It happens very frequently too. Once it happened at the mall. I was lost in my thoughts in the cafe sitting by myself at a table when "suddenly" a nice janitor came over and offered to take the plate I was done eating from away to the trash... it was so unexpected to me because I didn't notice them coming up at all, all of a sudden, to me, they were there. So I screamed in reaction, and I screamed so loud that the entire mall from the cafe went silent... the janitor apologized, like so genuinely and she seemed SO SAD to have made me feel so terrified (even though she didn't...), like, of course it's not her fault, I was so so so embarrassed, I just got up and left while profusely trying to tell them it's okay, it's something with ME.
Like.. I'm NOT terrified, I'm NOT afraid... that's not the emotion my scream is meant to convey... but it does. That scream is more like an innate response to unexpected stimuli I didn't percieve. Which yeah. Obviously my brain has to see it as a threat and call to help. It's just so totally embarrassing.
It's so sad to me to see people think they did something wrong when it's me getting spooked. It's like a one or two time a week thing. I have come to know this as a trauma response from somewhere but have not dived that deep into where it comes from.. but I have a lot of childhood trauma. I just want my jump scream to stop... like.... after somebody literally just walks up behind me in the most normal way ever.
Anybody else deal with this ? I feel like it's getting WORSE in my adulthood. WTF do I do??? It's been getting worse (as in happening more and more frequently) for years. | ptsd |
I am grieving my moms death. I am sad and angry and no one gets it. I wouldn’t commit suicide, I couldn’t do that to my kids but… maybe I just don’t belong here anymore. I can’t be around other people. Everything they say hurts me or makes me mad. And then my anger causes more hurt. I just… don’t know what to do. How can I just disappear? | depression |
i dont know if this just just me, but when ive only just woken up, i dont care about my ocd and can easily say no to it? i definitely still feel the anxiety and thoughts but i can ignore it so much more easily. its like i have a certain time period after ive woken up to do a bunch of things before it wears off. its kind of nice, like a snapshot of "normal" every now and again. it doesnt happen often but when it does it almost makes me sad; is that what life is like for everyone else?? but even *without* the thoughts too? i still feel like that now to be honest. it doesnt happen when im tired before i go to sleep, and only tends to happen if ive just woken up. maybe its because im well rested. maybe its because im too tired to do anything other than shake the thoughts off. does this happen to anyone else?? and if so, do you know why it happens? | OCD |
Ever since the pandemic started, I’ve been partially working from home. Now and then, I’d have to visit a client’s business. Yesterday evening, I was asked to visit a clients business today. So I did, what I normally do. Packed a bag, got organized and made sure I was reading for the morning. Everything was fine, until it wasn’t.
Through the entire night, I couldn’t sleep. I kept, waking up and couldn’t find my rhythm. I set an alarm, for 8am and got up at 6 am instead. Before I knew it, time had passed and it was time for me to get going. I left on time, but when I got outside and started walking. I realized, I didn’t have my phone. I was mad, because it’s winter here and it meant I had to take everything off to walk into my place.
When I got inside, I grabbed my phone and started putting on my boots at the door. When I got outside my door, I put on my jacket and looked for my keys. I was freaking furious, I always do this. Forget something and then leave something else behind. I decided, screw it and walked into my apartment to get my keys because I was now running late.
I made it to the visit on time, luckily everything went smoothly. Then my luck ran out, because after I finished buying some groceries. Guess who, drops their wallet on the damn street. I always check, if I have everything. I noticed, my wallet was gone in seconds. I hate forgetting my wallet, I’ve done this so many times. I had to sprint, across traffic to grab it. Now my leather wallet, has indents from the salt they put on the streets. I swear, days like this make me want to scream lol. | ADHD |
I get the worst intrusive thoughts ever, and I feel like I have to constantly reaffirm to myself when reading news or stories that what someone did is fucked up. Like I know it's fucked up so why do I have to tell myself it's fucked up? And then it spirals from there because now I'm questioning my morals. | OCD |
I’m sixteen and was diagnosed with Asperger’s when I was eight.
Whenever my mother vents about her more bossy, clueless and naive sisters, one more often that the others, she’ll comment on how it’s gotta be a ‘little spectrumy stuff involved because it comes in the family.’ (No other family members have been diagnosed. She more often than not says that after citing about how said family members are selfish or clueless. This is usually followed by her defending while because apparently my ASD runs in ‘the family’ or because she sees my own symptoms and says that she knows that better than I do. This always annoys the hell out of me whenever she does it.
Is this reasonable to be offended by? | aspergers |
I have been dealing with my depression again for just over a year. The biggest issue is nostalgia. Especially on these cold autumn and winter nights. I want nothing more than to go back to when things weren't so bad. I get so bad, all I can do is lay in bed, in the dark and do absolutely nothing.
Even now, both cats are in bed cuddling up with me and I am shutting down. Wishing I had my old apartment, my old set up, and the friend group not split up. My autism makes it worse. Having to move every couple of years, never able to keep similar set ups. I've been in this apartment 2 1/2 years and been forced three times already to change the layout.
If you read to this point, thank you for taking the time to hear me. I am trying to adjust, and doing it poorly. I'm struggling in general to keep myself moving forward. | depression |
Hey there! I’m 24 year old woman with ADHD and am a newbie to the group and thought with how large it is, maybe you guys could help me. I’ve been an android user for a long time but recently switched to Apple because of my personal life. I struggle a lot with executive dysfunction, and the Google play store had a fantastic time management app blocker that really helped me with things like going to bed at a reasonable hour and not being late to work because the executive dysfunction locked me onto my phone. Unfortunately this app is not available for Apple. I’ve downloaded and tried 6 different apps from the Apple Store and none have been what I need. I’ve also tried the focus settings within the screen time settings and those haven’t been what I needed either.
I need an app (free or paid. I don’t mind paying if it means better success in my daily life) where I can create profiles of certain apps being blocked at certain times everyday without having to turn them on every time. With my old app, I could select every individual app, put them into a folder, and say block those apps from 5:45am-6:30am and again from 10:15pm-11:00pm with the morning block happening Monday through Friday and the night block happening Sunday through Thursday. I could also tell the app to give me 5 more minutes so that I could wrap up whatever I was doing. The app then wouldn’t allow the blocked app to open if I tried and if I did, would give me a screen with a customizable message (“go to work!” and “go to sleep!” were the ones I used). But I could easily change the times or which apps were blocked. So what is your favorite App blocker, and why? Can it do what I need? How much was it if it’s a paid for app?
Thanks in advance for your time! | ADHD |
i just scheduled a consultation for tms to treat ocd. have any of you ever tried it? did it work for you? pros and cons you experienced? | OCD |
I get that am depressed but I get these intrusive suicidal thoughts everyday. What I'm wondering is if my ocd might be part of it. | OCD |
It makes me violently angry that so many people are still doing this, especially in the wake of a global pandemic. It bothers me so much that I become visibly angry for a good while after I see it and have trouble interacting with other people politely because I’m so disturbed by it. It’s to the point that I cringe whenever I even hear someone cough knowing there is a 95% chance they are doing it into their hands.
There is literally no excuse for it, toddlers know to cough into the crook of their arm. And before you say it, yes it is most DEFINITELY preferable to cough into the open air as most of those droplets dissipate and fall to the ground almost immediately, whereas when you cough into your hand you literally go on to infect every surface you touch for 6 hours or more or until you wash/gel your hands. Ditto on coughing into a paper thin Kleenex, same thing. It is absolutely impractical to count on being able to wash/gel your hands immediately every time you cough or sneeze, even if you are a woman carrying a purse.
If there was ever a time to put a stop to this idiotic practice that probably predates lobotomies, it was a global pandemic. Yet not a word was uttered by any of the multiple political leaders or global health experts that had the entire world’s attention reinforcing the importance of correcting this moronic behavior. | OCD |
It makes me feel incredibly lonely seeing everyone happily dance, cheer and hangout with the people they love. Yet, here I am at School, being seen as the "weird" one. What did I do to deserve getting my face pushed in the ground, getting my mind teared to making me want to mercilessly end the lives of every student at my School.
But, I guess I gotta trust the arrogance of those people saying that "it's just a phase" or "life will get better". Trust me, if those same people had the same experiences I had, they'd be crying on social media for compliments all the time. | depression |
I have one form of OCD professionally diagnosed (dermatillomania) but I can’t tell if I’m showing symptoms of another or if it’s just anxiety (also diagnosed). I will bring it up with my therapist if anyone can help me and goes on whether or not I’m showing symptoms of it, especially since the obsessions do not tend to bug me too often but can cause lots of anxiety at night. A common thing I think is that I’ll see someone on my ceiling (get this one at any time) or that I’ll see someone on the walls (normally only at night). They’re all random things but that one happens often, but one that doesn’t happen too terribly often but isn’t rare is that I’ll think I’m about to hear a gunshot from upstairs and i need to go hide so I chill in a closet for like 10 minutes and this one was brought to my attention when I almost left my bath to go hide for no reason. Afaik we do have a family history of OCD and my sister has very bad OCD that constantly interferes with her life. So do you think this could’ve purely be anxiety or should I let my therapist know things like this and intrusive thoughts have worsened along with my anxiety? (Let her know the thoughts specifically I mean) | OCD |
Okay I so, I started driving September of this past year right? So far I've gotten into two fender benders, one of which ended in an at-fault insurance claim since I scratched up the side of her car, and the other I dented a guy's license plate when I backed into him.
This only happens when I'm over stimulated on the road. And I don't know how to stop it. For some reason I just windows blue screen crash in my head for an instant, and in that instant is when I make a small dumb mistake, which ends me up in this situation.
I've been trying to drive as little as possible for this reason, but I have to get to work and drive for work sometimes. I'm thankful that no one is hurt by my dumb mistakes, but I'm really scared that one day someone might be.
Anyone got tips for driving with ADHD? Did you guys also get into small fender benders when you started driving?
Usually my reflexes are really really good, it's just when there are too many things happening that this happens. I'm bawling my eyes our right now because I don't want to end up hurting someone. Any advice or support is appreciated.
I'm also unmedicated and have been since August. I get health insurance in January so I'm planning on going in to get it then, and hopefully it helps. | ADHD |
Sometimes you just wanna hug your bros and it feels good to do so. And then you get that “oh god why do I want to be physically close to my friend at I actually gay” moment.
Can anyone relate? I thought my HOCD was over after I stopped checking my groinal response every 3 seconds but it find new ways to come back. | OCD |
So I started on Adderall the other months, and my psychiatrist prescribed me 5mg and said that I could scale up to find the right dose and go up to 30mg. I had been taking 15mg and when I refilled my meds, he prescribed 30mg pills instead of the 5mgs.
The 30mg dose has actually been great, it feels much more effective. BUT, I have been grinding my teeth and clenching my jaw constantly, which I think is causing a really bad headache.
Now I could just call and ask for the other dose again and refill it, but here's the fun part: my dad lost his job several months ago and September was the last month I was covered under his health insurance. I missed the deadline for my state's healthcare so this month I am uninsured!
To make matters worse, in a fit of frustration after an emotional conversation with my partner, I hit myself on the head three times. I have no actual desire to harm myself, I was just upset with myself at how I handled the interaction. I rarely get so angry/frustrated that I don't know what to do with my body and regretted it moments after. I didn't think it was that hard, but I'm worried that it might be contributing to the headache (the headache did start beforehand though). I'm also feeling even more dumb because like I said, no health insurance this month so I can't get anything checked out.
Really just needed to rant and put this somewhere so it's not all in my head. | ADHD |
When I was younger, maybe from 8-12, my mother was sick a lot. She has bipolar and now so do I, along with PTSD. She was either asleep on the sofa because she was so depressed or manic in a hospital for months at a time. I don't blame her, it wasn't her fault, however I feel like this still effects me. When someone bails on plans or is busy with things, I feel like I am back at that place. A kid with a sick mother and an asshole father. She is doing fine now, but I feel that the issues are still strong. Does anyone else go through this? | ptsd |
Hi guys! So I take meds and I found an issue recently: my appetite. I know that's a common side effect, and I pack lunch and everything, but when I try to take a break at work (I'm a nurse), I'm turned off by my food. I was thinking, I'd still like to eat something to fuel my body, but things like frozen meals, or bigger meals doesn't help. One day i packed some frozen lasagna but opted for a yogurt instead. I just would like to reach a middle ground. Would love some ideas! | ADHD |
I just can't do it, it's been almost a year since my car accident and I can't get through the night without reliving the car accident. The worst part is that every time it happens I have physical symptoms that I can FEEL in my dream. That tight, heavy feeling in your chest, the ringing in your ears, the racing of your heart. I just don't want want to go to sleep. I don't. It's too real feeling! I'm tired of reliving it and that everyone thinks I'm fine! A freaking semi crashed into me! How is it that I'm supposed to be mentally fine just because I was physically fine!?
All the mean rumors spread around my tiny town, the false stories that were used because all of the eye witnesses refused to stay to tell the officers what they saw! I had to go to work and hear complete strangers talk about "the idiot that doesn't know how to drive". It wasn't failure to yeild, I was in an intersection and a semi swerved into me to avoid a pedestrian who was notorious for causing car accidents (was arrested two days later for being a major meth dealer in town).
Why me!? The pedestrian who caused the accident told the officer that "he was watching and saw me drive into the highway" right after he said to me straight after the accident, "It wasn't your fault sweetheart. You didn't cause the accident, he swerved into you to avoid something..." Why did he lie to the officers!? Why did he get away with it!? Why did they believe him!? Why did the other eye witnesses leave me hanging out to dry...!? The semi driver that swerved into me even took advantage of my families insurance and asked for over 25k because "the accident aggravated a preexisting back injury."
I got so screwed, I couldn't even share my name publicly for weeks and had to temporarily hide my FB page. The case was finally closed in January of this year, the accident was in July of 2020. No one cared that they were mentally tormenting a kid who had just survived a t-bone wreck with a semi going highway speeds! I'm afraid to cross the highway now, I won't do it unless both ways are clear. I get honked at so much. I have so many panic attacks. The smell of gasoline makes me cry. Standing on asphalt in the heat makes me cry. Thinking about it makes me cry. But I have no choice but to drive, I jumped right back into driving because I knew I had to, but I drive by that intersection EVERY DAY and relive it. I can't stop replaying it! It's like this horrible, horrible visual earworm! But it's not annoying like getting a song stuck in your head, it's literal torture.
There's no one I can even talk to, my family says that I'm being dramatic and attention seeking whenever I try to talk about it. I can't even get to therapy! My parents stopped helping me get to therapy because, and I quote, "My therapist taught me to fight my mom back and be disrespectful." I was originally in for low self esteem and extreme depression CAUSED by the narcissistic behavior of my mom (little to their knowledge, they think I've had a "great" childhood).
I am quite litterally traumatized by my car accident and my parents don't even care to help me because it was "so long ago and your mother was with you and was closer to death than you were." How does that make any sense!? We were BOTH physically unscathed! It was a miracle that I'm thankful for, both of us should have died. A couple days ago I heard of an accident that was like mine, with a semi going the same highway speeds, and the victim died on contact. But why is my mom the only one who is "permitted" to vent? Why can't I...? Why will no one sit down to talk and listen with me...?
I don't know what to do! Make the nightmares stop! I need help! I need advice!!! This is ruining my life!!!
Something I forgot to add:
Because of certain medical things, I sleep a lot. I can't fight it. It wins when it wants to win. But that never stops the nightmares. Before the accident I never had nightmares. And now it's just the same nightmare over and over again. I can't even avoid them by not sleeping if I wanted to... | ptsd |
Anytime I say I'm having a hard time, my friends tell me that they're pulling double and triple shifts while I "sit around." They can't see how I could possibly be hurting when I don't work right now. Some pople have stopped respecting me, even suggesting that my struggles with ptsd as an excuse for laziness.
It seems like either people see me as a disabled loser, or a lazy layabout. People treat me like I'm entitled for not wanting to be pushed to my breaking point at a job. I know I can't possible do what it takes to be employed in this economy right now, and even 40 hours was too much before; it was barely sustainable for me.
Maybe that means I'm weak and disabled, I don't know. It's making me start to doubt myself and feel really insecure, like a parasite on society.
I feel like a loser, a failure, and a broken person when people talk to me as if I'm an inferior or weak for being unemployed.
It's rare that anyone comes right out and says it, although it does happen, but mostly the tension is under the surface; I feel it often.
Honestly, it makes me want to fucking give up. | ptsd |
If I wasn't put off by the name of the fuckin disorder. Hyperactive. Hyperactive to neurotypicals means people with adhd run around like crazy people and constantly forget things.
I never had problems sitting still.
But the hyperactivity doesn't ome from the body. It originates in the hyperactive brain. And hyperactive brains don't always manifest as hyperactive bodies.
Just, fuck me. I'm twenty-five goddamn years old, almost twenty-six. I could have gotten help for this bullshit YEARS ago if it had been appropriately fucking named. Petition to rename ADHD as Executive Function Disorder (as I saw someone suggest) or maybe even Hyperactive Brain Disorder. Then people can get the help they need right a fucking way. Fuck. | ADHD |
I need to run the scenario in the title past you guys because I've just been told by multiple (non-ADHD) people that they've never experienced this and I can't believe it.
Last night I was looking up these reversible octopus plushies because I really wanted one. Well, apparently I bought one and I have a hard time believing it because to me, it kinda feels like a fever dream?
Like, I remember looking at the plushies on my phone and wanting one, but the memory of me actually buying it feels like a dream? Like a little unreal and a little too blurry to actually be real?
Is this an adhd thing?
Please tell me I'm not the only one doing this, I really thought it was a thing everyone did! | ADHD |
I’ve gotten so used to the ruminating that my normal way of thinking is just gone. I feel like a vegetable all the time. | OCD |
I have a problem. And its fristrating me more then i was already frustrated.
I wanted to play on my DS. I got it out, i know its charged. And i cant remember qhere i put my damn game cards. I have them in those little blue containers that hold 4 of them each. I had 2 or 3 of them i was using.
Ive checked every spot i could think of having them.
All my drawers, all my bins, all compartments and bags with pockets. All in my room because why would i ever take them out of my room, right. And now im worried i accidently managed to put them inti the donation bins ive been meaning to take in. Even thiugh i very clearly checked and knew i hadnt put them in anything i put in those bins. So, where the hell did my DS games go, and i swear if my brothers took them.
Any of yall have suggestions on where to look?
For refrence i still live with my family so it could litterally be anywhere.
Update: i found them. Protip: confront your siblings about it before struggling to find them for an hour and a half.. | ADHD |
Every day feels the same. Lame, alone, pretty much isolated from everything. Nobody seems to want to talk to me or do something… Whats it even worth if there is nothing to live for? How do you stay motivated, happy and thankful? It’s hard for me at the moment :-( | depression |
Tell me the cool things that you want to tell everyone but can’t for whatever reason. Could be about a movie or game your really into that no one else really knows about, whatever. I’ll try and listen/respond to everything. I’ll even start
I play Stellaris, a grand strategy space game. They recently just released a new DLC and I’m loving it! It’s all water/pirate themed, it adds a new advisor voice that’s a pirate captain! I don’t have friends that play Stellaris but maybe someone else here does and can share my excitement for it.
Even if no body else knows what we’re talking about it feels nice to get it out :) | ADHD |
Does anyone else have to focus on keeping your eyes to stay in place? I’m not even cross eyed but i have to concentrate so my eyes don’t end up in different directions. | OCD |
Before I begin this word vomit I just want to preface by saying, yes I'm aware I need a therapist but it is expensive and I don't have the money yet as I will detail the reasons why below
I didn't realise I had ADHD until earlier this year. I always chalked up my awful memory, my spacing out and a bunch of other things to me just being ignorant and a failure. Yes I have severe depression and anxiety too, to boot. But I can link them down to stemming from the fact that I had undiagnosed ADHD and a bunch of trauma and abuse that ensued after that.
I really did feel like I could find help for the first time and genuinely felt a little alive when I got my diagnosis... only for my doctor to say a referall to a specific clinic which (in their words) every other practice was cool with referring people to was not an option for them. My only option was going private or being on a three year waiting list. (Added note, co workers who also have adhd had been booted from said list after years of waiting for no reason) so there went my only inkling of hope.
I work at mc Donalds. I hate it. I hate it with a burning passion because i feel so overwhelmed and my performance varies from day to day. Some days i can do amazing, and some days when they depend on me I can do nothing but yell at myself inwardly as i space out into nothing and feel the disappointed stares. But i had no choice as it was the only place that accepted me during covid.
I'm so fed up of customer service. I just want to work from home. But i can't, as i dropped out of my degree due to university bullying and being unable to keep up with the work especially from home because the ptsd kept me from going back to campus. On top of this, it didn't help that the head of course did nothing even when i mentioned i wanted to disappear from the stress.
I get severe anxiety attacks just trying to apply for jobs because if i can't even be reliable performance wise at freaking mc Donalds what makes me think id be any good at anything else?
I could try going back to university, but id need therapy for the PTSD PLUS documentation of my ADHD (which requires either a LOT of money for private or an unreliable 3 year wait) which would be impossible money wise right now.
I could switch jobs but end up disappointing my next employer with my performance.
I feel like I'm at a dead end. I just want to feel normal. I want to follow my dreams like everyone else all i want is to work and have a safe home to return to. But i can't even trust my own brain to function at the bare minimum to even achieve half of that.
I'm just praying for a miracle at this point. | ADHD |
I hope it’s okay to post here, I’m not diagnosed with anything, sorry if it’s not, I can delete it
SoI’ve basically been hiding it all nonstop from when I was really young cuz my parents hated it and would teach me/force me to stop and stuff. The only problem is that it gets really distressing and honestly I don’t really know how I’m supposed to deal with it all, and I don’t really know how to stop either tbh. I’ve always felt like I was weird or stupid or oversensitive for it, and the fact like half of my family is albeist doesn’t help. So how do I deal with my possible autism and stuff? And how do I do that without my parents knowing? And also, how do I just let myself be me around people I know will accept and support me?? | aspergers |
I don't have nightmares so frequently anymore, but my dreams are stressful and vivid as hell. I constantly wake up mentally exhausted. I take prazosin and hydroxyzine, and they help, but the vividness and exhaustion is still there.
I'd really love to just, not dream. Go to sleep - nothing happens - then wake up. I've read cannabis can be effective at dream suppression, but there are so many types. Does anyone have experience with this? Do I want sativa? Indica? | ptsd |
I'm glad to be asperger, I always had been.
Recenty joined reddit and asperger's subreditts, now I'm seeing a lot of aspies that struggle a lot whit life, and I feel kind of bad to know how many people struggle whut things that I learn to overcome.
there are any other happy aspies out there for me to talk with?
or maybe to someone who struggles and needs help, I don't know. | aspergers |
My impulse control is abysmal. I zoned out HARD at work (food service) and I saw a fly zooming around and before I could even think next thing I know I’m jumping up and clapping my hands together trying to kill it. Except I was right under our ceiling-mounted menu TVs and I’m 6’1” so naturally I banged my head and scared the shit out of my tiny coworker. My head is fine but the TV hangs funny now. I literally could have cost the company so much goddamn money in that moment. Me and my weird lanky body are a danger to society. And I didn’t even catch the fucker | ADHD |
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