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I've been working at this job for a little less than two months, and so far things have been fine. I've got along well with my coworkers (as far as I can tell,) and with customers I just put on my "customer service" voice and help however I can.
However, today I had a really bad experience early in my shift that ruined the rest of the day.
While I was going outside to look for carts, I passed a customer who was wearing a t-shirt for a college that I'm interested in (they have a graduate program I like). I stopped her and said something like, "Excuse me, did you go to this school?" and pointed at her shirt. She told me she did, and I asked if she knew anything about the program I was interested in. She had heard of it, and told me what she knew. Then I thanked her, and we both walked away.
Immediately after, one of my coworkers starts laughing. I ask why, and she says that I was weird and the whole conversation I had was awkward. I responded that the customer seemed perfectly fine, and that she was willing to help me out. Coworker just says "that's called being polite. She didn't want to talk to you. You need to read people's body language better," then laughs and goes away.
I didn't really say anything for the rest of the day. I still feel terrible about the whole thing. I can't be angry with my coworker, because she's always been nice to me, and I'm sure it was meant to be funny. But it's times like these I'm reminded I may never fit in with ordinary people. | aspergers |
I'm a teenager in an immigrant household, and I've suspected that I've had ADHD ever since I learned about its symptoms around 4 years ago. I've done thorough research on both ADHD and many of the other disorders that some of my symptoms manifest in, and while I believe I should have a professional diagnosis to be 'considered' ADHD, I don't think there's another way to name the shit I go through.
My symptoms are affecting my everyday life in so many ways. I'm in the years of high school where grades really start mattering for your university application, but executive dysfunction makes it so I can't do anything on time.
Unfortunately I live in a very conservative ethnic household and am completely unable to even try and get diagnosed. My parents don't exactly believe in mental disabilities and disorders, even though I'm pretty sure my father isn't neurotypical. I haven't brought this up with them because I know they will push it aside.
I really don't know what to do. I can't cope with this by myself and I have years before I am able to move out and get a diagnosis. Even then, it costs money, which I can never be sure I'll have. It's so frustrating- I've displayed so many symptoms of ADHD since I was a child that went completely disregarded, and now that I know about it I can't do anything about it.
I guess I just really wish that my family would be more open. I wish they would've seen that I was 'different' from the start so I don't have to deal with this myself. I wish that I was in a position where I was able to be diagnosed and maybe even medicated. I wish I didn't have to go through the symptoms of ADHD myself as a 12 year old and find out that it wasn't normal for everyone.
I don't see an end to this, and it's really beating down my overall mental health.
I'm sorry if this isn't the norm of what people post here, but I have no one to talk to about this, and I really need to let it out. I know this can come off as 'quirky teenager who wants ADHD', but I ask that you don't see it as such. | ADHD |
Tw: sel**arm, su**i*al thoughts
Right now I am lying in bed, having panic and feeling depressed at the same time. I just hate myself so much right now because I just can't do anything right. I always try so hard and try to do the right thing yet nothing seems to be actually right. There is so much to do and I just don't know how anything works. I have no clue if I am still dissociating or not, I just know that all the last years are not real. I feel present right now but let an hour pass and it feels like it didn't really happen.
I am an adult yet I feel like I have no clue how to actually do anything. I never know what groceries to buy, often i dont have any energy to cook or there are just so many steps involved that i feel paralyzed. I can't take good care of myself either, I try really hard, really. But damn, living is a lot. It's exhausting. It's so much you have to think of.
For weeks I struggle with the urge of hurting myself, my chronic suicidal thoughts wont let me alone either. At the same time all I want is to live and dont selfharm. Like.. i dont wanna die. Living just feels like its not made for me, you know what I mean? I wont just unalive myself, so dw about that, but damn... Being alive sucks. "But what about-" yes I know. I am probably one of the few people that actually appreciate what life gives you. Colours? Sounds? Nature? Damn, so good. Just alone the human body is mindblown - let alone the brain. The brain is just so insane, its cool af. I can look at a colour and feel thankful that im allowed to see that. I love life. But the world we live in - I live in - is just not made for me (well thats how it feels like with all these stones in my way). I dont even know why the urge to hurt myself came back, its just there. I can just imagine that the pain i feel inside, the fight i am fighting inside daily, just wants "to get out". Idk.
I know I am not easy, I know I am way too much and I know I share too much about the life I am living bc everytime its too much for people to just hear about what i have been/am going through- and never do they actually know all of it. Maybe just 20%, some more, some less. But its already too much. Well, how am I supposed to LIVE with it when others cant even hear a bit of it? I am not hating on them. Its just so frustrating that Life gives me shit that others cant even listen to. Trauma is just shit. I hate it. Yet the help I need isn't there. I am poor, I have no family except my grandma i have to take care of/help. My family is toxic af, my ex left me a while ago saying i am wonderful like ????? Make it make sense. I actually had thought someone might finally stay, he was the first person to get along with my shit. But there he is gone again. And now I am totally confused, have no clue what to do nor what is wrong or right. Its all shit and I am just so lost and overwhelmed.
Its 1am rn and i am crying, listening to music and just trying to get through another painful night. A night where i just want to hurt myself and while i am looking forward for some small things its just all too much. I know it takes time. I know i just have to "get through this". But the get through this" could maybe finally end after 22 years. But maybe i am just asking for too much. | ptsd |
New therapist isn't til Wednesday, current therapist isn't til Thursday, the therapist I talk to for emergencies is on maternity leave I think, and the list of shit I can't process myself and keep writing down is just getting longer and longer
it's a mix between responsibility ocd and another form that I don't even want to go into details about because it's just embarrassing
but holy shit I hate this list and it's just getting longer and longer and it's overwhelming just thinking about it.
I want to just delete it all but some stuff ends up coming back since I never fully dealt with it, so I end up making a *new* list.
I hate this. I hate it so much.
plus if I vent it all at therapy then we don't even have time to actually work on shit.
I'm stuck. | OCD |
I dont think I ever had a "physical" form of ocd because most of my compulsion are mental and my biggest one is ruminating what is the best way to cope with it? | OCD |
**TL;DR**
*2 years ago, I [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/ccc155/diagnosed_at_32_finally_medicated_and_cleaned_my/) about getting diagnosed and medicated at 32 years old (nowadays, I'm almost 35). Still no miracles, progress still steady and I'm still doing well.*
**If you only want to look at pictures, [here you go](https://imgur.com/a/W5hUj2X).**
*You're all super cool <3*
---
Time flew by and I missed my two year update mark by a couple of months, but that's okay.
The apartment is still being kept in good shape, although I've let up a bit in the past year. I would say "Well lived in". But come, have a look at the [progress pictures](https://imgur.com/a/W5hUj2X) and judge for yourself.
What an awesome year it has been! I'm self-employed now. Have an amazing partner who heavily researched ADHD and is totally understanding and supporting. I'm (mostly) on and (sometimes) off meds, looking for a new psychotherapist/ADHD coach. Got into poetry and music production without losing interest 5 seconds later.
Corona has been great for avoiding scheduling conflicts and concentrating on myself.
---
My mood? [Same old, lately not too bad](https://soundcloud.com/slightlydrunk/same-old?in=slightlydrunk/sets/slightly-drunk) | ADHD |
Just wondering what some good books are to help with OCD. I read “Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts” and it was a great read (unfortunately a little bit of reassurance). I would like to get new thoughts on OCD because I think I have read everything possible on the internet. Also anything specifically about rumination would be great. Thanks and keep the hope up, this beast called OCD sucks. | OCD |
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[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/p13ggm) | OCD |
Hi guys,
Not sure how to explain this, but I put a lot of effort into my room/ my clothes/ and the contents of my rucksack. Each time I get home and go into my room, I feel a little more happy/ relaxed no matter how messy it is, because I love the space I've created.
I love my bedsheets, my posters, and the drawings I've done on the side of my drawers. I put care into what I wear each day, because I find it relaxing to wear things I love. Not just in how they look, but how they feel. Natural fibres and nothing too tight. My rucksack makes me feel safe because it has everything I could need if I was having a bad day.
There are so many things that can unbalance you in the world. Being unmaterialistic is often lauded, but I find objects can soothe me in this intangible way. Also, the fact I genuinely love my possessions outside their utility inspires me to take more care than I would otherwise, because it makes me feel good to do so.
Don't feel guilty for getting something you love. Show yourself how much you love yourself by surrounding yourself with things that bring you joy. | ADHD |
I just moved up to 30mg XR.. my last post was me saying if it was okay to take since the 20mg was making me happy lol. I’ve taken the 30mg twice now first one I felt like it worked a little but this second one… I don’t even know if I feel anything, it’s only been 2 hours since I took it so maybe I’m jumping the gun..
Am I supposed to feel anything? How does adderall work for you. Some people say it’s like a switched flipped in them. I felt more focused and happier with the 20mg but it wasn’t too potent and felt like it only lasted a couple hours. So I was hoping the 30mg would at least be more of that??
Anyway would love to hear your experience. This subReddit has given me so much hope these past couple of months. | ADHD |
Female in 20’s: I have a thought that I keep thinking about over and over and it is stuck. However it is not a negative thought. It is just a stuck thought. Is it possible to have a wanted/positive intrusive thought or would this be called something different? If so what? Or if I trace this thought back would I find out it has anxiety hidden behind it? | OCD |
Can someone tell me how to start to try to get meds? I used to have a therapist but meds weren’t an option there bc it was CBT type where i was supposed to get better with thoughts. Anyway. The info is overwhelming so idk where to start and price ranges and things.
In US but not used to US healthcare system.
*i mean to say my therapist would not recommend me to a psychiatrist | depression |
I’ve been struggling so bad with thinking everything is contaminated with certain things like for example, bird shit because there was bird shit on my window screen that I cleaned off but my OCD still makes me fear it is everywhere from cross contamination. It’s really exhausting because of constantly cleaning and being anxious. How do you get past the contamination theme? If you’ve ever had it, what helps you?? | OCD |
I've been dating a woman who has been diagnosed with adhd a month ago.
It's been pretty good so far been fun and sometimes challenging. I'm guessing for her side in terms of what things would annoy me. She mentioned back in May that I might be on the spectrum and be high functioning.
She loves going out, enjoys technology, sense she's always on the move. Likes getting things done ASAP and gets frustrated by how long it takes for me to make decisions or solve problems.
What's anyone experience dating someone with adhd? | aspergers |
Hey. New to the forum. I'm Magnus. CSA "survivor" (if you could consider what I'm doing surviving, then go ahead). and I have an issue.
I am inherently a very loud, extroverted person, but I just can't seem to vent about certain things. No matter how hard I try. Like I know what the vent would be about. I'm hypersexual, and I have issues with my gender and my religion. But the sections where I write out, even in a private journal where no one can see, feel such an immense panic that I just can't get it out onto paper.
I get that this is common, and most people can just suck it up and move on, but because I'm such a loud person, I've established a status quo with people that I will come to them when I'm upset. That's why when these things cross my mind and start throttling me, I want to be able to go to them and talk about it, but I get overwhelmed with such a large amount of panic that I just can't function. I feel like I'm denying them, or that I should tell them.
But it's not like I can just go on hiding it forever. It's a persistently invasive part of my life that has consistently made me very upset on a number of occasions but what am I supposed to do? Vent? (haha) So it's like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. There's nowhere for me to go, and I'm not currently in a place where I have access to therapy.
Does anyone have advice? | ptsd |
Hey guys,
I’d love to know peoples experiences and how they got control over rejection sensitive dysphoria? I have an ADHD coach who says she’s ‘not seen it as bad in anyone else in her career’ which clearly isn’t too great lol and I also understand it’s not technically a ‘medical diagnosis’ and just a term to describe the symptoms but people who have struggled with it/the symptoms, how did you learn manage it? | ADHD |
Hi! So, I am currently in the process of getting tested for ADHD after realising i relate to a lot of symptoms such as:
\- easily distracted
\- zones out when having to listen for a long time
\- interrupts people/talks over them
\- talks excessively
\- making careless mistakes
\- like to start projects, hate finishing them
\- anger outbursts
Those are just some of them. There are others, but I wouldn't say any of them are "impairing" my day-to-day life. Some days are good, some aren't. Some days I feel restless and full of energy and other days I feel tired and sluggish and my brain feels foggy.
Anyways, I am quite organised and responsible and I always did well in school so my parents are really opposed to the idea, calling me a liar and they kind of got into my head about it all. I am afraid that I am making things seem bigger than they really are.
Is it possible I am faking my symptoms? Am I over exaggerating? | ADHD |
Ok, so I have read in studies and know from experience (or at least I've been told what I've experienced is the following) is that aspies have poor working memory. I was recently fired having worked at a Jersey mikes for only 2 days. I had no problems socializing (surprising for an aspie I know) the coworkers seemed nice, I was kind to the customers, I swept and mopped and prepared the bread, and lifted heavy objects with ease. The mask helped with the smell and I shaved to minimize sensory issues with the mask. I didn't talk politics or anything like that. I just was making little mistakes while making sandwiches but I was improving and the staff even said so. There was just one big rush and it was my first one where there were multiple sandwiches at once and I was expected to do multiple at once.
many of my friends have said that was definitely too short of a time and they should've either pulled me aside and told me I needed to speed up or waited longer to see if I improved. One of my friends who knows a lot about kids on the spectrum said short order cook jobs are not good for people like me. I've read studies saying Aspies suffer from poor working memory but excel in long term memory yet we are good in pattern recognition but struggle with abstraction. That last one seems like a conflict but that's a tangent my bad.
I'm currently studying engineering in college, I was wondering how can Aspies be good engineers if we have bad working memories? Some people have said Einstein was an Aspie, whether he was or not many great mathematicians and physicists have been said to have Asperger's too. For several of these professions I presume you have to hold equations and concepts in your head and work with them? So I was wondering how we make good thinkers like this if we have poor working memories? | aspergers |
I found an adhd treatment that really improved my fatigue.
me: throughout all of grade school, middle school, high school and undergrad and grad school I struggled with fatigue. The fatigue was so bad I never read any full books. I found shortcuts. I did well, and its frustrating because doctors never took me seriously when I talked about my fatigue because I kept bypassing readings and finding short cuts.
Therapists: \*doesn't believe me\*. You did well, you must have done readings.
me: im telling you thats not true. im venting about how frustrating it is to have lost my entire educational experience. its so demmening for you to do exactly what doctors who resisted treating me did. People keep presuming I wasnt so fatigue I couldn't read because school. But with school there was always a way to find a short cut and still do well. You dont understand, you are 100% wrong.
Therapist: you took the lsat. you were in law school. You must have read.
Me: no , i was so tired that i always relied on shortcuts. Either very very short summaries of the material. outlines from higher students in law school. I never fully read one book or one reading assignment in law school because it took 4x as long. I only did well because I found shortcuts.
Therapist: what you are describing just isnt possible.
\_
Im sorry but FUCK YOU. SERIOUSLY. FUCK-YOU. iF YOU WANNA SAY IM SMART FINE. If you wanna say im high functioning, fine. But to fully discount the possibility that someone who is smart in your words ...could manage to successfully find shortcuts so they never had to read one book is fucking deemenning. You wanna know why doctors never took me seriously ? BECAUSE MY GRADES.
On one hand im expected to do well. Otherwise I dont get taken seriously. On the other hand, if I do well you dont BELIEVE ME? SO I HAVE TO FUCKING BOMB MY LIFE FOR YOU TO FUCKING BELIEVE ME?
Im so sick and tired of having this run around. Doctors never gave a fuck. I asked to be refered to adhd specialists and I was told NO because "you are doing fine", despite me directly telling them I WASNT OKAY. I WAS LAYING DOWN AND BARLEY MOVING MOST DAYS. I COULDN'T FUCKING READ OR WATCH TV BECAUSE IT WAS UNDER STIMULATING.
SERIOUSLY. FUCK OFF.
I opened up to you about this exact struggle. You identified me as someone who was high functioning. Yet someone when i explain to you WHAT I ACTUALLY HAD TO DO TO GET THROUGH NOT HAVING ANY TREATMENT YOU CALL ME A FUCKING LIAR?!
What the FUCK. I HATE the stigma against adhd. EVERYONE presumes so much fucking bullshit about what the consequences are that it prevents me from even opening up to a FUCKING THERIPIST.
I DIDNT READ IN SCHOOL. I DIDNT READ IN LAW SCHOOL. STOP FUCKING QUESTIONING MY ANSWERS.
edit:
Oh and your RELENTLESS suggestions that it must be just depression or another reason IS FUCKING BULLSHIT. When im telling you im treating my FUCKING ADHD, stop pretending its ANOTHER SYMTPOM BEING TREATED. Seriuosly.
"well it probably isnt adhd being treated moreso anxiety and other symptoms".
NO . FUCK OFF. YOU DONT KNOW THAT, YOUR NOT EVEN A DOCTOR. SERIOUSLY, FUCK OFF . HOW CAN I OPEN UP TO YOU IF YOU KEEP DOING THIS BULLSHIT.
Edit 2:
ALSO. her relentless insistence this fatigue is depression is enraging. Because when I didn’t know I had adhd , I allowed my doctors to run whatever medications they wanted on me to test it because I didn’t know what was wrong. It never worked .
But when I explained this she literally said “well maybe if you were resistant to getting treated they didn’t try to help your depression”.
Didn’t matter that I told her It didn’t work. It didn’t matter I told her I didn’t have depression.
Her: how long have you been tired ?
Me: my whole life.
Her: but at what age.
Me: zero, I’ve always had it.
She clearly doesn’t believe me and I’m so done with this shit. I’m telling her kindly next meeting I’m moving to a different Theripist
Edit 3: I’ve realized that coming away from every session angry and feeling judged is such a warning sign ... that I didn’t bother sticking to telling her in person. She has for 6 session disagreed with my adhd diagnosis by taking my explanations for what is going on, and saying “or it’s probably depression and anxiety”, instead of listening to me. She talks more than I do. I have to begin interrupting her to get even 40% of the talking time . I’m leaving sessions not being afforded the ability to talk about past issues with adhd because she is clearly anti adhd because I’ve done well.
If I’m so angry a day after a session, it’s clear another session won’t help me at all. I don’t have the ability to change her mind.
I emailed her being polite and canceling the next appointment.
I’m going to look for a pro adhd Theripist that allows me to speak during sessions.
Last session I explained my doctor gave me something else to help with my adhd . I explained that to her. And the response I got when I asked “why do you keep switching the reason my doctor gave me these meds in your language? I told you he gave it to me for adhd and you just said “maybe anxiety or depression”. It eventually lead to her stating “maybe your so anti depression he never tried to treat it so he gave up”... despite me never saying that happened.
I realized today that if she genuinely believes that, she fully thinks what I tell her is a lie. And I’m just... not going to get anything from therepy. She’s presuming I’m lying to her for reasons she is making up. And that won’t be undone in a few more seasons .
In reality ... my doctors gave me nearly every anti depressant available . I let them do that because I knew they had to to help me. But she didn’t ask if they did. She presumed it. So.... she’s presuming a lot without asking me... so this won’t work | ADHD |
Ok so I keep on getting ocd that asks me to sell my soul to satan (im christian). Basically i keep on getting intrusive thoughts that tell me to sell my soul to Satan (im a Universalist christian but i dont wanna take the chance that hell is real). Wtf do i do? | OCD |
how do you stop intrusive thoughts?
i know someone will say just accept them and they'll slowly subside but i try and try but they just keep coming back
can someone help me with this? or please? | OCD |
Its too the point where I feel groinals and swelling from my brother. I can't live like this anymore its too much and I don't wanna be gay. It feels like I'm just denying it because why else would I be feeling this way. Even typing this makes me feel like I'm heating up. Suicide is the only way out for me since I won't be able to live the life I want to. And don't give me that "but you will hurt your family" I don't care anymore and they are better off without me anyways. | OCD |
My OCD effects me heavy and I've only now got around to asking the doctor for help, they've prescribed me clomipramine but I'm hesitant with medication because I'm a former addict, does anyone have any experience with it ? Thankyou 🙂 | OCD |
I have been taking Concerta 18 mg XR (Methylphenidate) for about 5 weeks. Every time I take it, I have to lay down and take a nap. It completely drains me. My brain feels great - I’m in a good mood, my social anxiety is diminished, I feel calmer and more attentive. But I’m so fucking tired.
My prescriber told me that she had never heard of this happening on Concerta in her entire career, that it’s pretty much impossible for it to make me fatigued, and that “doctors would want to study me” if this is true. She thinks there is some other cause making me tired. However, it only happens when I take my pill and I’ve had recent blood work that was totally normal. Also, I’ve had two pharmacists tell me that it’s very much a thing, and I’ve read about other people on Reddit having this issue. Today I took two of my 18 mg pills just to see if it got better or worse with a higher dose. Within an hour, I had to take a nap. I slept through two alarms & wound up asleep for 4 hours!! I woke up feeling unrested, yet it was a sound sleep.
I’m so frustrated I could scream. I mostly love the way this medication makes my brain feel… but I can’t operate with this much fatigue. I kept hoping it would get better as my body adjusted but if anything, I think maybe it’s progressively gotten worse. Two things I have also noticed with Concerta versus Adderall & Vyvanse are that I still don’t feel very motivated, & my appetite has not decreased at all.
I was initially diagnosed about 15 years ago, as a college student. At that time, I tried Vyvanse, Strattera, & both instant release and extended release Adderall. Vyvanse and Strattera made me angry all of the time and just did crazy things to my mood. Adderall XR is what helped me the most, and although I do remember that I sometimes felt sleepy after taking it, it was nowhere near as bad as the Concerta. I suspect that was actually caused by untreated insomnia. I had to stop treatment for my ADHD when I moved to a state with draconian prescription laws, so I’ve been struggling along untreated for over a decade before being prescribed Concerta a couple of months ago.
Maybe it’s worth mentioning that I also feel very sleepy after taking Prednisone (steroid) which my doctor told me was extremely rare. Probably irrelevant, but figured I would throw it out there to see if anyone had a similar experience.
Any advice or anecdotes I can share with my prescriber? Am I crazy, or is Concerta fatigue a real thing? Help.
TLDR: Concerta exhausts me. Prescriber thinks that’s impossible. Brain feels happy but very tired. Advice appreciated. | ADHD |
Hey everyone, I already posted this in r/rocd l, but I want more responses. Am I uncapable of love? I wanna share my story. I was dating a girl for 2 and a half months, she loved me, but i was always having these doubts, I think that's what ruined our relationship. From the third time we went out, i started to get this uncomfortable feeling inside me. Maybe because i was feeling that she likes me, but i was unsure about my feelings. I was afraid that she likes me more than i like her. So when we were dating, i ocasionally felt good and maybe i felt the feelings. I understood that she is right for me, because we were really alike, i thought that she was like female version of me. But most of the time i still felt that haunting bad feeling inside, that feeling that i dont like her. But after we broke up i really felt bad and hurt, i thought, i broke her heart first with my unsureness, so why I'm the one that can't get over her? Fast forward to now, I'm almost in a new relationship, she is very understanding of my problems, my mood swings, she's very very beautiful inside and outside, but i still have that bad feeling inside me, that can't let me completely relax around her. I have a fear that i will ruin another relationship, she will get tired of me. I am blaming myself constantly, like we already broke up, and i messed up, even though it's going great, because i'm already programing myself that it's what's going to happen. Sometimes i feel like I just can't feel some emotions, like love, but i hope that it's just ocd blocking them out. | OCD |
When I was younger (grades 1-5), I was one of the only students to be put on a 3 strike rule, I had sandbags put on my lap, gave an exercise ball instead of a chair, and used an electric typewriter for any written work. Specifically, in grade 3, a teacher who disliked me very much sent me home with a yellow envelope that contained information about ADHD for my parents, advising them to get me checked at the doctor. They brushed it off, and that's how it has always been. I spoke to my sister about struggling in grade 12 who referred me to my nephew's doctor and I spoke to him 3 times, 2 months apart from each appointment. He really did nothing for me, didn't propose any solutions, but he did acknowledge that I may have ADHD. Never got a formal diagnosis.
When I transitioned to high school, the issue steered away from impulsivity and turned towards focusing while studying/reading/listening and memory. It has grown much worse today. It will take me an hour to watch a 10-20 min video because I constantly have to skip back to rewatch portions. When reading, I have to reread a page multiple times to fully comprehend it. I also find it especially hard to listen to people, not because I’m not listening, but what they're saying goes right through me and I sometimes ask them to repeat what they said, sometimes I get embarrassed to ask people to repeat themselves.
I get unmotivated a lot and doubt myself when I have a hard time studying. All my siblings graduated from university and have extremely good jobs and all have families of their own, so I question if I really am struggling with mental health or if I'm just making excuses and I dwell on this thought a lot.
When I'm watching a recorded lecture, youtube video for my courses, or reading, I'm always thinking of something outside of what I want to focus on which is why I have to replay a video or reread a page. It's also the reason I don't get much sleep at all. My sleep is different every night. I either sleep during the day and study at night or the other way around. This is because I'm always thinking of the most random things. I'll think of events that happened during elementary school or a conversation I had with someone earlier in the day, or I'll get out of bed to check if I set my alarm, if my mac is charging, or if my door is locked. These are some reasons but it's almost always random. My sleep issue is the reason I miss some classes or meetings and I always make up a reason because "sleeping in" sounds like I don't care about the meeting or class, and I don't want to give off that impression.
I have a hard time socializing with people and I think the main reason why is because I isolated myself during all of COVID. I spoke to nobody other than my family and one close friend who moved to the University of Alberta. This was never an issue in high school and I'm an outgoing person, but it just feels impossible.
I haven't told my family about any of my struggles because I don't want to worry them. As a matter of fact, I give off the impression that I'm completely healthy and everything is going well when in reality it's the opposite. I haven't opened up to the one doctor I talked to because I feel like he didn't take me seriously and it seemed like he just wrote me off and assumed I was doing ok.
More recently I feel both my self-esteem and self-worth have drastically dipped. I feel like I've completely sunk into apathy and serve no purpose or benefit nobody. I get very intrusive thoughts, and I know for sure I won't act what's on my mind, but I get suicidal thoughts very frequently. Regularly, I'll genuinely believe that I don't belong in university and that everyone else is more experienced and smarter than me. I wish I could go back to before I accepted my offer and made the effort to take care of myself or at least reach out to a doctor who gave a shit.
All my siblings are in their 20's, all making 6\* and living lavish lives. They are smart and were smart in university, knowledge allows for independence and It hurts me to know that I won't be getting any of that in the future. I am happy for them, but not happy with myself.
I've never been in a relationship or ever been close to anybody, I think the reason for this is because I'm insensitive, but I wish I could meet someone who going through the same struggles as I am who I can commune with. | ADHD |
I was able to go a whole year without thoughts surrounding my orientation. Instead they were more focused towards other things.
What I noticed was when I wasn’t so worried about HOCD anymore, I looked back and couldn’t believe I was so worked up over that.
Well I’ve have had a major relapse and I feel even worse than I did before. I can’t stop googling and questioning myself. I have probably been on Google for over 9 hours the past two days searching up forums about the topic.
Which has led to major triggers and even more anxiety along with obsessing over that.
Are there any tips or ways to help. It’s getting to the point where I don’t know if I’m gonna be okay. | OCD |
Those two things are my kryptonite. When faced with either I either break down emotionally or I freeze up, either way the aftermath is I end up feeling alone and worthless.
I have recently begun looking for a new job and this is now ever present and definitely interfering with my confidence.
Anyone else ever have issues like this and what is your coping strategy? | ptsd |
I’m 54 and have taken adderall as needed for 20 years. Dose is 10mg and I never built a tolerance since I don’t take it often. I was pretty good at compensating for my symptoms without the medication. This is no longer true. I changed manufacturers because I thought that was the problem. It didn’t help. I doubled to 20 mg Saturday as a test and it helped slightly.
I am starting to get frantic because I have absolutely got to start functioning better at work.
Has anyone been through this? And if so, what did you do about it? | ADHD |
I'm not even sure this is an OCD thing as my therapist said I only have "borderline ocd" or "ocd tendencies" but I'm having a really hard time and honestly just need to vent about it and I'm not sure where else i would even go to talk about this. (Also I tend to over explain sometimes to make sure I get my point across so I'm sorry this will be long).
Since last night it feels like everything that could go wrong, as far as things that affect my ocd tendencies or whatever, has started to go wrong.
I have an avoidance thing where I absolutely cannot do certain things unless I know at least one of my parents are home and not planning on leaving the rest of the day. For example listening to music on my phone, watching videos or using photoshop on my laptop, and stuff like that. Otherwise I'm convinced something bad will happen. Usually something with me physically, because sometimes I have really bad random dizzy/lightheaded spells/panic attacks, but possibly something else too. It's a little bit hard to fully explain but that's the gist of it.
Well yesterday my mom wasnt feeling well and didnt go into work, and my dad had the car all day. She never goes anywhere when shes sick so I spent the *entire* day watching YouTube videos and using photoshop on my computer and listening to music on my phone while cleaning. It was actually a really good day at this point and I was very productive because of it. Only for them to suddenly say they're leaving at like 11pm. Which instantly made me anxious because I was not expecting it and them leaving meant that I had broken my "rule".
So then they left, and I accidentally fell asleep and skipped dinner, which is when I take my meds. So I woke up and realized and started to panic because I skipped a dose by a few hours, but I went to take it then and it turned into more panic because, even though I know i didnt take it, my brain kept telling me like "but am I sure?? What if I did? Maybe I did and I just dont remember?" And even though i know i didnt take it I cant convince myself that I actually didnt and I didnt accidentally take extra.
Now, of course, I can't find my phone anywhere. Normally that wouldn't be a huge deal cause I actually have two phones (one of thems old and doesnt make calls), but the one I lost has all the apps on it that I need to do one of my morning "rituals" or whatever where I have to interact with certain apps in a certain order everyday before I can move on with certain things in my day. So now I'm freaking out cause it's gone.
AND, on top of everything else, the app I use to stream the tv show I watch when I'm feeling anxious isn't working. So now I'm left without it, making it even harder to cope.
Idk what to do. How do I cope with all these things going wrong at once? I'm very anxious and now, since so much is happening one after another, I'm convinced that its gonna like, add up and something even worse is gonna happen as a result. I'm really stressed and anxious about it and I'm not sure what to do. | OCD |
I’ve been dealing with this for 3 years now and i don’t know if it will ever get better. I thought maybe highschool was stressing me out but I’ve graduated last year and nothing changed. In fact everything has gotten worse. Nothing I do is good enough. Nothing I do works. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how much longer I can take this. At least my mom is around. She’s really been the only thing that’s stopped me from going over the edge.
I think I’m just lonely. I don’t know if being suicidal from loneliness is a normal thing or anything but it’s really the only thing I have to go off of. If that’s the case then I’m still fucked. I don’t have the confidence to talk to anyone. The only “friends” I have are people who aren’t even on the same continent as me. | depression |
So long story short, I’m 28f and I think I have ADHD, but I’ve never been diagnosed. I’ve had doctors tell me that the symptoms I experience could be a result of my anxiety and depression. However, I think it’s the opposite. I think I’ve had untreated ADHD for so long that my depression has manifested as a result. I know I’ve had anxiety since I was a kid. My question is, how can you tell? Is there a way to tell? I relate to so many of the things posted in here, but I don’t know if it’s some wicked combo of my other mental health issues. Help? | ADHD |
Is it normal to constantly feel sadness? Even when you're with people, but especially being alone. Also, not having any will-power to study, go anywhere, responding to texts, talk to some people. Or am I just being lazy? I'm missing someone very much and I think that's the main reason I feel sad all the time | depression |
Even about trivial things.. if I go back and feel "unsatisfied" with what I said (even hours later, even if at the moment I felt satisfied) and come up with an "add on" it'll stick in my mind until I say it again to the person I initially explained it too. It creates so much anxiety as I know its compulsion and I try to fight it but it feels like a frog in my throat that I just have to let out. Also its weird to just bring it up again, although the person probably forgot all about the initial explanation. I ask myself why this is important to explain again.. why must this person know this information? I know they dont. But I feel the need to do it anyway. Anyone else? | OCD |
Can ptsd cause memory loss? I was abused all my life and some part of the family still in this abusive relationship. I struggle with intrusive thoughts, nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks, triggering words, memory loss
I’m so forgetful and I understand this is normal but i feel like it’s worse that the normal
I don’t remember anything from the age about 16 under (only bad memories) - i’m 22 and still to this day don’t remember a lot of things. It was that bad I didn’t know that 3 of my siblings i lived with for years was my siblings until a few years ago. | ptsd |
I think everything is my fault and I’m just making a big deal out of it. I was drunk and he was sober. I was 17 and he was almost 22. I didn’t say yes but after a while when he asked if I was okay and I said no he stopped. Maybe he was just a good guy who made a mistake. I don’t know maybe it was all my fault. I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know I feel like such a fucking fuck up. | ptsd |
I have noticed, in almost every single (mostly NT) person i have EVER\* spoken to, people are concerningly comfortable with interrupting others when they are speaking...it's very very strange to me. you will get a chance to speak, why interrupt ? and it's just not even necessary.. there are a select few people i have spoken to who dont ever interrupt me while speaking and those people just so happen to be aspie as well..each time i spoke to them i would frequently pause, waiting for an interruption and they always just say the same thing "im listening"/"why did you stop talkking i was listening". just genuine, attentive listening. people constantly say i am a "great listener" and "easy to talk to"...its probably because i genuinely listen and dont interrupt them every 2 sentences.
whereas around NTs, i get CONSTANT interruptions..especially amongst the more entitled folk. i watch them even interrupt each other.
and may i not even get started on the constant interruptions from customers on the job who interrupt me so much..if they only stopped talking for even 30 seconds, their questions would be answered...(got started anyways ha) but no, they interrupt me over and over and what could take 5mins ends up taking 10-15 because they just wanted to run the show and give no room for explanations..i just dont understand this, genuinely. there are a lotof NT behavior i do get, but can at most get some sort of an understanding..THIS\*, i do not understand the level of comfort in doing it..as if it's \*normal\*, even.. | aspergers |
Depression + anxiety. It's strong enought so I cant do almost anything consistently, and the little I achieve is basic and still very hard.
But money is needed to live.
But every time I try too hard I get even more depress and anxious.
I'm already working on it, going to therapy, but it takes time.
Since I'm very clueless about what to do I thought maybe someone here lived something similar, or have any idea.
Life sure is hard. | depression |
*may be triggering for those who’ve been in abusive relationships* - I’m new here pls be kind
I am trying so hard to hold it all in, keep a brave smiling face. And I am hurting so fckin hard, 2 years after the horrible incident.
I battle w PTSD (for several reasons) & I am feeling triggered recently. I studied psychology in undergrad, so naturally I analyze every single sensation I’m feeling. I had a recent traumatic event (lost a job again), the coronavirus outbreak, and had a near car accident rushing from my full-time job to my restaurant job. I had my first panic attack in a year & felt insane afterwards. Like “everyone is watching me”, feeling extremely sensitive, and emotionally drained.
I’ve worked ~60+ hours a week as a 25yo just to make fricken ends meet (I have lots of student loan debt I haven’t even touched yet). I’ve also been sexually assaulted (while in college).
Right after I graduated college, I moved to a new city (following a whirlwind summer). And my trusting self dated a narcissist. He was the worst person you can imagine. Gas lit me, called me horrible names, & used my mental health struggle as ammo in any fights. He was a raging alcoholic with a history of abusive relationships. His ex was even in prison for life (wtf) for drunk driving & killing an elderly person. This tumultuous relationship only lasted 2 months, but I grew resentful, depressed, anxious etc. afterwards.
Fast forward to last year, I was fired for being “depressed” in my shitty office job. I’d lost 40 lbs from anxiety & not even thinking I deserved to eat (my abuser told me to go kill myself, called me a fat whore, an idiot, and the list goes on). I then had to move back home w my mother as I had no money for rent & felt like an absolute failure (I now see this was the best move for me, but was so distraught).
Why the hell am I unable to move past this? I’ve completed CPT therapy with my lovely therapist, see her weekly & take an SNRI (which I absolutely hate, the side effects are horrific). I exercise & take care of myself & I am now dating my childhood crush/best friend.
I feel I am pushing him away, and built up a wall & I need to let this shit go, for good!
I’m so angry.
I’m so upset.
I’m resisting the love I deserve & dragging these chains from a hateful man.
How can I trust again?! Thanks for reading, I’m just so fricken frustrated & sick of my heart beating out of my chest at the thought of my abuser. | ptsd |
I just increased my dosage on Aduvanz (european Vyvanse) from 50mg to 70mg.
30mg was too mild.
50mg turned me into an angry/irritable sweaty zombie with anxiety.
And now on 70, it seems most of the side effects have dialed down. I am much less irritable, my focus is stable all day and I don't even notice the comedown. Anxiety is much better too.
According to my doctor the side effects should increase with the higher dose, so I am confused.
Has anyone else experienced this with any meds? | ADHD |
sorry i can’t go into detail but i have only told a few of my friends about what happened. see, the perpetrator was my friend and is friends with a lot of my own. it’s been 6 months and initially i felt an inexplicable need not to ruin his reputation (i know, stupid). i have only recently opened up to a couple of my (and his friends) who have been very supportive. both told me to express my anger to the perpetrator but i don’t know how i would do that. i feel like it’d be debilitatingly triggering plus i wouldn’t know what to say. granted, i WANT to unleash my anger unto him but i don’t know how i’d handle any number of responses he could give. he’s unempathetic, obviously and would most likely shrug it off which would break me. i want him to face his consequences. his life has gone on as usual and everyone who knew about it bought his “it was a mistake” rhetoric. we were both drunk, i was almost blackout and he was moderately intoxicated. everyone who has talked to me says that this is not a valid excuse for him to use but everyone around him and himself buy(s) into this idea so much that anytime i’ve opened up to those who knew but accepted him again anyway often dismiss me... i don’t know. i just want to cuss him and his cronies out lol but my avoidance is screaming not to
sorry if this is incoherent. any advice would be greatly appreciated. thank you | ptsd |
My depression started around 14. At about 19 I decided I wanted to die, but I didn’t have the guts. So I started smoking cigarettes with the intent of killing myself with lung cancer in the distant future. I’m now 38 and still smoking, but now I’d rather not have cancer. | depression |
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[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/oicv74) | OCD |
This phone. This phone will be the death of me.
It takes me so much god damn effort to go about my day being productive and unwinding sustainably. And all my phone wants me to do is keep scrolling, keep eyeballs locked to the content. Keeps me from getting good sleep, keeps me from going outside more, from exercising more, from enjoying a book or practicing a new recipe.
This fucking phone warps my reality, robs me of time and daylight, wastes my energy and focus. I fucking hate it and i fucking hate that I'll never be able to abandon it because of all the ways this addiction is enabled and encouraged by my surroundings. I hope I can get the high ground over this fucking thing before it kills me. | depression |
If anybody feels like venting and just talking just text me! I’m going through a rough anxiety right now and it would be a good session to calm down. | ptsd |
I can't accept the fact that I've been raped. I feel so numb and sad. How have you guys moved on if you've experienced this? Does it get better? | ptsd |
Someone is messaging me and posting harmful material in my inbox | OCD |
I definetely have social anxiety, I frequent a college (actually university I'm italian) but I skipped every class because I feel like I'm being judged by everyone around me.
Anyway, I'm not sure if I have depression because there are actually some occasion in which I'm happy. When I spend time with friends I genuinely feel happy. On the other hand though I cry myself to sleep almost once every week and I have zero control on my life. I usually get up very late and I spend a lot of time doing nothing. There are days in which I enjoy doing things while other day I can't find enjoyment in anything. And I really feel guilty about how I'm spending my time becuase my parents are paying for rent and college and I'm just wasting their money. I also feel bad because I don't have a real reason to feel this way, a lot of my problem could be resolved by just working hard but I can't find the strenght.
By the way I'm 21 and I feel this way since I started college. I especially hate feeling this way since I remember my last year of high school as a great one and I really miss the person I was back then. | depression |
Hello all,
I wonder if any of you experience the following, and if so, what you have figured the issue to be. I'm trying to sort out why this is happening to me in an attempt to try and remedy it. Here I go:
Whenever I try to focus, like read something, watch TV or even type this message on my phone, I get this sense of mental overwhelm. It may be anxiety but I hesitate to call it that. It's like my brain gets all flustered. Physically, I can feel myself tensing up and I stop breathing properly. It's like my brain doesn't want to read, or watch TV or listen to music or talk to people. It's peeling away because of this overwhelm and I'm sitting there trying to get it to finish what it is doing. To engage. Almost like beating it into submission. I keep getting up to calm down by eating or drinking something, or popping anxiety pills (which I used to do more in the past - I am trying to stop now) or even masterbating or exercising, but it doesn't improve once I've done those so called "calming" or self soothing things. I can feel this tightness above my forehead as well along my hairline.
Anyone else experience this and have figured out what it may be and possible solutions?
I'd really like to participate in life and not just sit here because everything is too overhwleming to do, or constantly trying to soothe myself.
Thanks ahead of time for your shared experience, insight and help. | aspergers |
I need to be in bed around 10 so I can get up around 5 or 6 to start my day and have some personal creative time before work at 8. This schedule really keeps my mental health at its best. My wife, however, is naturally a night owl and tends toward a sleep schedule that's more like 2am-10am. My problem is that I *cannot* get myself to go to bed when she's still awake. I remember this being a thing when I had roommates, too. I hate going to bed when someone else is still up. So I just end up sitting on my phone scrolling aimlessly for hours, or "going to bed" and sitting in bed doing the same thing until she joins me. The moment she's in the room, I put down the phone and can go to bed. I'm guessing it's the need for stimulation mixed with FOMO, even though we aren't necessarily interacting at all. Just the presence of another body is all it takes.
Does anyone else deal with this? Any tips on how to manage this particular behavior? I'm already on adderall, but obviously that doesn't help much at night. | ADHD |
As I child I was insulted very badly , to the point of being triggered.I keep ruminating about the words they said & the pain they did to me , & how I want revenge . Solution? | OCD |
>The new research indicates that PTSD develops along two separate tracks: one involving fear conditioning and intrusive thoughts, and one involving symptoms associated with depression.
>Those two tracks could be separately identified and treated, the team behind the study says. Based on this evidence, it's "critically important" that potential PTSD sufferers are diagnosed and given help as early as possible.
[Science Alert](https://www.sciencealert.com/new-study-maps-out-how-ptsd-develops-in-the-brain-in-its-early-stages) | ptsd |
Anyone else obsess over people and think about them for days straight? | OCD |
Sometimes it feels great to be told I am high-functioning, other times I feel as though I am the easy patient that therapists are relieved to talk to. It's not that my therapist isn't doing her job, or anything like that...I guess it's that I feel things are minimized for me at times. I'll catch myself saying I'll be okay, and it's not that I'm bullshitting, I just wish for a little more feedback, or expression that I am cared about. I have a daughter who has all but received an official diagnosis for BPD, which is incredibly difficult to deal with when she is a trigger for me. She learned some very unhealthy modes of trying extract what she wants out of people from her Dad (we have been divorced for some time) I have an opportunity to express how I am feeling relatively soon, I would love some suggestions on how to approach it. | ptsd |
I have tried everything. I have made it as o virus to my teacher as I possibly could be. No medication, mental hospital, therapy, or psychiatrist has worked. I have become too depressed. Too far gone. I've become too suicide. Too worthless. I'm 15, 265 pounds, and autistic. I am failing most of my classes. I spend most of the days in my room alone. I can't do this anymore. What am I supposed to do? My social anxiety is too severe. What are my options?, | depression |
I can't keep seeing her story anymore. I've realised we can't go back to the same friendship we had, despite she trying I can't help myself but feel down everytime I see her with someone else. I don't know what to do at this point. Though the situations improved a bit as I am getting over her. But everytime I see a post or story of her with someone else, I partially feel happy and mostly feel sad, reminding me why I couldn't be with her. I am not even confident about myself anymore. That self confidence that I had built for past 3 years, gone down in pieces, well that's just a dramatic way of saying it. Or life just showed me the reality, it is what it is. Just venting | depression |
I'm not english sorry for my bad Eng. I'm having too much break downs in these last months please help me i didn't have a therapist about it | ptsd |
Hello all. I'm so sorry this is so long, but I have so much to say and I really have never broken this down before to anyone.
So I have recently been noticing that I am exhibiting some patterned behavior that has escalated noticeably within the last year. It really never crossed my mind that this could be more than random activities or anxiety-based thoughts but with the progression I began suspecting this might be more serious than I thought.
To preface, I have always had very slight variations of some of these habits but never to this level of frequency and intensity. I do have anxiety and I have high functioning autism, so I assumed behaviors like this were always a product of one or both of those two issues. I am currently three weeks away from finishing my masters degree. I live with my partner and some friends in Oklahoma, but when school is in session I live in upstate New York by myself with a randomly assigned roommate I don't really speak to. I make this trek from Oklahoma to New York every three to five months or so for the past two years. I have been uncharacteristically overwhelmed and stressed as the degree requirements are coming to a head. I considered that the heightened stress and my isolation could be causing these behaviors to increase.
These are some of the reptitive things I'm noticing:
- I was offered a job over the phone last week. I have been waiting for the official offer letter via email but I have not received it yet. This caused me to begin thinking that a certain blue candle I had when I got the call about the job offer had been the reason I received thw good news. Then I switched to a white candle the next week and I believed that the reason I haven't heard back from them yet with a follow up is because I switched candles. It bothered me to the point where I felt like if I didn't buy the blue candle again soon, I would never hear from those people offering me the job again.
- I always like to fill my Brita filter up once it gets to half way empty. One day I was in a bit of a hurry and contemplated not filling it once it was half empty. I then had a sudden thought that if I didn't fill up the Brita filter right then, that I would leave the house and get in a car wreck.
- I have been on a weight loss journey recently. Every morning I weigh myself and take off my glasses before doing so. I have begun to think that the way and place I put my glasses down on my bathroom counter is directly affecting if I will have lost or gained weight when I step on the scale. This thought has caused me to test the way I put my glasses down (left side, right side, glasses folded, unfolded), in hopes I can find a position that causes me to lose weight.
- This is an older one but more prevelant lately. I think that if I don't lock the door behind me, my roommate will be upset and therefore I will have bad karma that will affect my school endeavors.
- I have been having spells of feeling the compulsion to clear my throat every minute or so. Once it starts, it takes a couple hours for me to get over it. If I don't clear my throat when I feel like I need to, it almost feels like I'm drowning because there is fluid in my throat. These spells come over me almost daily, sometimes multiple times a day. It gets to the point where my throat will hurt and I have to apologize to the people around me because it's so frequent. This is very new, within the past 8 months.
These are some of the main patterns I am noticing recently. Like I said, I have always had minor issues like this but I always chocked it up to being anal and just really liking patterns. But it is escalating rapidly as of late.
Any insight on this would be appreciated so much. I'm starting to get concerned about my ability to tell the difference between what is real and what is a paranoid delusion.
Thanks 🫂 | OCD |
So I will start off by saying, my anxiety is at its lowest aside from the stress I feel from all of the things I’m not accomplishing.
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD. I’ve dealt with issues in the past, but I’ve always had people around me that were able to help pick up the pieces I was dropping as I bounced around from one thing to the other. With my husband traveling for work the last few months, I decided to get help because I have to do better for my children when he is gone three weeks a month. I have been under a ton of stress as my list of things to do/finish gets longer and longer with each day that passes. Seriously, ALL of my anxiety is circled around my unmanaged ADHD.
When I was diagnosed, the psychologist put in my chart that I needed to manage my anxiety before starting stimulants. I understand the reasoning, but he says they do not allow their patients to be on anxiety meds of any kind and stimulant medication. I feel like I’m in a catch 22. My appointment is this week to discuss treatment options, but I am considering canceling to save the out of pocket unless I can get a handle on the anxiety so they are comfortable treating me.
Counseling is not an option at the moment as all of my extra funds are tied up with an upcoming surgery. Anyways, how do you keep your anxiety manageable as you attempt to keep your home under control while not actually getting anything done all day? 😬 I should have asked at my last appointment, but I was struggling to process it all. | ADHD |
If I lived in Paradise I would still find something to obsess over. Sure, stressors put on by workload that our society demands, lack of social interaction etc. very often amplifies it. The relationship between social factors and pure genetics and brain chemistry is complex.
But please, stop ignoring medical science because you want to earn internet points by dunking on capitalism.
Also, anxiety and depression aren’t the only mental illnesses. | OCD |
Hi! I was diagnosed with ADHD just in the 8th grade. I was given Adderall, and it worked well, but I stopped due to the side-effects and my parents always told me they didn't want me to become completely dependent on a stim in order to work or do basic tasks.
I'm going to be seeing the psychiatrist in a week- my first time in three years since I was initially diagnosed and given Adderall. I'd like to request a non-stimulant medication from them, but I'd like to know the kinds and how well they've worked for you guys so far. Any and all advice/information would be greatly appreciated. | ADHD |
I have decided that I must go on meds for my ocd (religiosity type) and anxiety, as much as I don’t want to. Since I already suffer from poor sleep/insomnia and heartburn, my biggest concern is that any med I’m prescribed (whether SSRI or other type) will exacerbate these two issues.
I have been reading studies about which meds cause the least amount of sleep issues and/or heartburn, and it seems that it is user dependent and there is no consensus.
Does anyone have any input on anything they’ve read, experienced, been told to better guide me on the right med for me? My pdoc prescribed lexapro. But the entire session she was looking at her computer as I was talking and I had to repeat my medical conditions a few times before she even acknowledged it, so her recommendation seems sus. | OCD |
I have never been formally diagnosed, but I've struggled with various obsessions and compulsions throughout my life. It was much worse when I was younger - the most insidious one was an obsession with the pattern left right right left, which can just be condensed to left, allowing the pattern to expand infinitely and do so very quickly, and of course the pattern must always end on left wherever it occurs, which usually related to how I moved some part of my body - not fun stuff, at all. I was always eventually able to rid myself of whatever such obsession/compulsion I was stuck on through sheer willpower, even if it took months or years, but now as an adult I am left with one remainder that is so long-lived and tightly integrated into how I act that I don't even know where to begin in trying to rid myself of it because I engage in the behaviors without conscious thought.
Basically, whenever I touch a smooth surface, I sort of imagine that I've left a ridge of sweat/dirt/grime/whatever behind if I touch it improperly, and this must be swept away. If I am, for example, flipping a light switch, I will operate the switch (which is almost inherently an improper touch) and then sweep away the spot I just touched, all in one motion, without thinking about it and without anyone ever noticing. When I click a mouse button (which is usually but not always an improper touch), I will click and then drag my finger back along the button with zero conscious awareness of this behavior. I can do things like type and play piano with improper touches without issue because my subconscious is aware that I am constantly touching the same surfaces and so I can just make sure the last touch is proper and leaves behind no ridge. Obviously putting this into words brings to mind how pointless and crazy this is, but I've never been able to will myself out of the behavior like I was as a child. I have tried intentionally touching surfaces improperly without following up with a sweep, which leads to 5-10 seconds of immense discomfort and grabbing at my own fingers, followed by not caring, but it never gets easier and as I said the behavior is subconscious so it doesn't seem to make a difference.
Where do I even start with this? | OCD |
Man, I've been taking a tolerance break so I've had nothing for my panick attacks so I went out and bought a 500mg cbd tincture, its incredibly useful Holy fuck. Like I can process shit normally, this is the 5th day since trying it. | OCD |
I just started Adderall XR yesterday. I’m on 20mg twice a day (is that a lot?). I was only recently diagnosed with inattentive type ADHD, so I’ve never taken any stimulants before today.
I also have a history of migraines, and am prescribed Ajovy, Maxalt, and Nurtec.
I knew headaches could be a side effect, but in my mind, I was like, “Oh, big deal. I get migraines all the time. They’re probably just minor headaches that people who don’t get migraines think are terrible.” No. I woke up at 3am sweaty, nauseous, and with my head pounding. I felt hungover.
Luckily, I do have all those migraine meds, so now that I’ve taken them, I seem to be okay for the most part. I only get like 9 “emergency” migraine pills a month, though, so this cannot be my permanent solution.
Please tell me there’s something I can do to prevent this, or that it’s just my body adjusting and this will only happen for a week or so. Or that maybe if I only take one dose a day, it won’t happen??
I have a follow up with my doctor in 3 weeks, so I feel like it’s not going to be an accurate follow up if I don’t take it at least a few times a week. She told me I can basically take it when I want and skip days. Is that accurate?
But anyway, I have a huge project at work this week and cannot miss a single day, so I’m afraid of what will happen if I get a migraine that I can’t rid of.
This post is entirely too long, but I’m panicking. 😅 | ADHD |
Like I always count when I wash my hands or go up the stairs or something, and I can’t let myself finish on the number 6 because that means I am a bad person or I am somehow inviting the devil into my life even though I don’t like evil things at all. It makes no sense but here we are lol, man this condition just invents ways to make me uncomfortable | OCD |
I've been having trouble explaining complex ideas and events. Rather than explain the idea or event, I try to explain all the details, often infodumping, and neurotypicals (and some autistic peers) will have trouble grasping or following what I'm trying to say. Maybe part of the reason is I get stuck on details rather than a broader main idra, there is no "main idea" my explanations have, or there is a lack of "coherence" ("central coherence" theory?).
Examples typically include topics that upset/distress me or that I have a negative emotional attachment to. Today, I had difficulty explaining my concerns between getting a varicella vaccine, asking how long I need to wait to get a COVID vaccine, the fact I got a TDAP vaccine a week earlier, and my worries that my employer wants me to get vaccinated for COVID as soon as possible. Another example: I lose coherence and get upset/break down when discussing why I have anxiety when dealing with communication with supervisors. I can provide more examples if needed.
The longer and more complex an idea is, and the more negative emotional attachment I have to it, the harder it is for me to explain it (and sometimes even understand it).
Do you guys experience something similar? | aspergers |
Every night, this thought is giving me hard times. I am constantly reminding myself about my failures in life, about how I can not do simple tasks like everybody. Even if by some miracle I get through med school. What if I kill somebody with this horrible concentration. I just don't know what to do. I am scared. Yeah, as everybody around me. They tell me that: When I need to do something, I JUST DO IT.
WELL, when I need something to do, I lose at least 4 hours, and then I want to cry, and Then don't know why I am tired. Then I want to cry because I looked at the clock. Then I drink coffee, then become even more sleepy or just start to Panic as a stupid monkey
* Because of financial reasons | ADHD |
hey everyone i’ve been wrestling with a diagnosis for a couple years and want to know if it’s worth spending $ to get tested. i’m positive i struggle with generalized anxiety disorder and i’m not sure if it’s isolated or connected to potential OCD.
i have invasive thoughts a lot about small things that inflate into anxiety spirals and thought loops. i cant seem to shake it no matter how hard i try (ie convincing myself i have an STD or cancer etc) and it causes me great emotional pain and suffering.
i also constantly touch my face/facial hair and when i tel myself to stop because it’s not good for my skin i can’t seem to end my habit. i twist it, sometimes pulling out hair in my face . obviously i don’t like when i do it but it’s such a bad habit that i resort to when i’m anxious it basically happens all the time.
i also struggle picking out my clothes because they look “weird” on my even though i’m sure it looks good. i’ll end up with piles of clothes when i try and dress to just chill on my friends couch to do nothing, and it causes me so much stress.
i’m also struggling with keeping counters messy, i feel as thought i have to wipe them or i won’t be able to stop thinking about it. same goes for when i leave my house. I check for my keys 4 times every-time even though i register that i put them in my bag. and when i come home i have an irrational feeling that i’ve left my stove on or somehow my house will be on fire. i’ve left social events early to “check” my house when i know deep down that nothing is wrong.
i guess i’m asking for guidance. Anything will help :-) | OCD |
My grandma left me a message saying she bought me a moped, but if shes going to call me by that old name, then I don't want it. I am a man now, they've known this for a long time.
Then I get up to go make muffins for me and my wife for breakfast, and I find myself stumbling into flashbacks. Nothing HORRENDOUS like it usually is. Compared to the usual, this is pretty benign.
I just hear the song Material Girl blasting in my head overlapped with my stepdad taking away my comfort items out of spite/ for his entertainment and calling me materialistic and my mother calling me selfish for reasons I could never possibly grasp.
And I realize now that the reason I have issues meeting my own basic needs is because of them telling me stuff like this. I feel bad even having to spend money on myself to buy soap that I like, FUCKING SOAP.
I'm gonna try to be mindful today and maybe try to delve into some reading I've been meaning to get to.
Good luck to you all today, please wish me the same | ptsd |
Starting a virtual platform for meditative art sessions. Freebies under enroll. Any advise or tips would be helpful too. Make art, be relaxed and learn coping strategies [art healing ](https://www.therapeuticarts.org/book-online) | ptsd |
Holy crap I’m depressed right now. I also have PMDD and I’ve had an IUD in for over A YEAR AND A HALF and i’m STILL bleeding and getting severe depression occasionally. Part of the problem is I haven’t been taking my antidepressants so i started again two days ago but the other part is I got my period again when I SHOULDNT I’m so pissed. I saw my gynecologist yesterday for the first time and got a neuva ring to go with my IUD and just praying it works.
I found a stimulant medication that helps my ADHD but I work 12-14 hr days and it only lasts 8-12 hrs.
I’m trying to set goals and be healthier but it never WORKS and i’m SICK of it. How do you guys stick to a routine and a healthier lifestyle? I can’t even manage my MONEY i’m broke or in the negative 24/7 and i can’t take it anymore! | ADHD |
I chose the name because I had finally come to terms with something personal which has affected me for much of my life. My family learned about the name I chose and incorrectly believed it was about to lead to self-harm and death. | depression |
Does anyone else get these after opening up to a new person?
I spent the evening with a new friend and our conversations got pretty deep, and I ended up opening up about my ptsd and my traumas. It was well received and everything went fine. The next morning I woke up feeling terribly insecure and overwhelmed with anxiety.
I am generally pretty open about my PTSD but usually don't go into details unless someone asks and I trust them. Even so, I always feel so stupid and vulnerable the next day. It's completely exhausting and triggers symptoms. However, I feel like the more often I open up about it the easier it gets.
I've struggled with PTSD for about seven years and some times in my life are much easier than others. But whenever I wake up feeling shameful for being honest and having to remember everything I've been through, I am reminded that this disorder will exist in me indefinitely. | ptsd |
I know I’m not using the right word to describe this, but what would you call this theme? I don’t know how to explain it to my T and psych. For example, isn’t that Christmas song about Africa that says, “do they know its Christmas time at all?” Offensive and ignorant? I heard it today & thought that I couldn’t believe they played it in the radio. Or I wonder if it’s cruel to feed a dog the same food every day and pull them by their neck (leash w/collar)? Or I wonder if things are actually homophobic or racist, etc???? I examine things so deeply… I want to describe it but I can’t. How can I word this? | OCD |
Is it the intensity of negative feelings? Or frequency of obsessions? Or frequency of compulsions? | OCD |
When I was masturbating an intrusive thought popped about a family member popped in my brain and I got turned on or at least I did please if anyone can explain this I am at a breaking point | OCD |
I have been struggling to process information it’s takes me so long to understand something and I always need so much clarity and explanation like for it to be explained to me! Only then do I feel good if not I start to feel sad and I don’t really understand why it happens. Does anyone else experience this? | ptsd |
This isn’t an ad, I just found this app and it’s literally changed my life and I wanted to share with other people who may struggle with cleaning due to their ADHD.
So the app is called Sweepy.
It has rooms already set up with daily, weekly, and monthly cleaning tasks already. You can also add custom cleaning tasks.
Then as you clean it, you complete the task and it resets the “cleanliness” gauge and slowly depletes until it’s time to clean that section again.
It also sends out reminders and notifications that “hey it’s time to clean!”
I struggled so badly with creating a routine and cleaning from my adhd and this app has changed my life. For once in my life my apartment is clean and functional.
Thought I’d share so others can use this app too. | ADHD |
i just started graduate school in a literature program (first quarter). every time i sit down to try to write a paper or any
assignment i have a crisis and subsequent breakdown--to the extent that i worry that that the effect is now pavlovian. i feel stupid and inadequate and this disorder makes it almost impossible to sit down and get any work done, which is compounded by the sense of hopelessness and shame (as i cannot meet a single deadline). i just want to be a prof one day at a cc, but at this rate i'm scared grad school may kill me. | ADHD |
Hi,
Im always ruminating about my past mistakes even little ones, and I don’t know why ! everyday I remember a random event that happened in the past and I start ruminating about it. besides feeling so anxious and uncomfortable I also feel the urge to confess it to my boyfriend I feel like I’m not true and dishonest and when I keep it to myself it get me anxious more , I don’t know what to do , is it related to ocd ? Anyone has experienced this ! | OCD |
I get these daydreams where i imagine every possible worse case scenario which could happen to me or people around me such as car crash,rape,homelessness ect. And i can have multiple a day.they used to upset me but now im used to it so they dont bother me much anymore and these have been becoming less as i have another weird thought thing to.
Another is about a person that i become attatched to.its not romantic in anyway ,its more i guess a safety thing as this person has the answer to everything and saves me all the time like a superhero i guess but again theres worse case but theirs good cases to.but this one is everyday pretty much multiple times a day and it gets kinda creepy because i know i wouldnt want to be thought of constantly if it was the other way around.
But i dont have any rituals or compulsions.i guess the only thing i have is a safety aspect where i always have my id cards,money,know every bus route in my local area even by bus stop order in chronological order,and if im out and my phone get low i get super anxious but isnt this something everyone does to make sure their safe.
But is this ocd or something else? Is it normal because i thought it was untill i was told it isnt normal.i though everyone gets this so just get on with it like everyone else | OCD |
I naturally have a high heart rate and low blood pressure (90/55, 95 resting heart rate).
I decided after 40 years and going back to work after having children that I should probably treat this condition.
I’m on 10mg of v!v@nse (started 3 days ago) and my resting heart rate was between 126-140. I couldn’t do anything and was basically paralyzed.
I managed to get it below 110 after taking anti anxiety medication, but is there a way to stop your heart rate from spiking?
I would ask my doctor, but I’m the first person she’s treated with adhd and she’s following the psychiatrist’s notes.
I’m not asking for medical advice, just on what might have worked for you or is this a major warning sign. | ADHD |
Normally for me, if I’m at work or working on writing or some passion of mine; my OCD is mild and I can completely distract from it.
But some days I’ve got nothing to think about and my mind runs rampant. What are some tricks you have to distract yourself in times of rumination? I seriously need a way to get my mind off things. | OCD |
Me and my friends have been friends for 3 and a half years, and in all that time we've never really had a serious conversation with each other. We have great jokes and inside jokes, but I'm really yearning for a proper relationship with my friends.
What kinda conversation could I make with my friends that would get them to be serious without turning it into a joke?
I was thinking of simple stuff like teachers or whatever and then go from there, but whenever I do it just goes back to jokes. I feel like if I said something serious at the beginning they would also just make a joke about it.
Any ideas?
TL;DR: I've had quite a long relationship with my friends but never had a serious conversation. Not even half joke half serious. How do I change that? | aspergers |
Hello All!
I wanted to share with you all my nephew who is walking across the country, meeting with people where he can bring the conversation to more people about PTSD. He is trying to share what has helped him, talk to people about getting help, and bring awareness. I just thought I would share. I am very proud of him. Hopefully, he helps some people or gets them to get help.
Please note I was not asked to post here, I just thought maybe some of you would be interested in talking with someone passing through the USA on a long walk (6k miles).
Well wishes to all!
[\#PTSDwalk](https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/ptsdwalk?source=feed_text&epa=HASHTAG&__xts__%5B0%5D=68.ARCpZg9Xp43hwl90Ko6sv7VhYr8Gj6R6sqhS6SvNdKgCDwhHONV3SW_hseQRt_2o5XmIPx4MoAffEONCqxJUZxc9TkreQkSG2MbglYDM6TivGLDUnHtpTqR3nV-CsZ9Gtd3NZeGqOW9V19yjzBFPMkvRRiEaEmOWxe-uFZU6hPmxqnuIJE8NWl-gzPFRD26NCALIaZPhX_Nz9KY7082VjkbYJASFjJi2vsu05m3M5AX4hOAym9joxD4whpduAHkGhLZgyI6zvJTEHwB-NaAGj88EIT3ziJXFmZFqJTOw4hNw-OQICOZfXw9qAvSaoUmSMvo9qpxWEhSmedt-1q2P3WFmoDwhevO6_CKxYIBGZ3aQuxIlsEK58QSbNB2TpcCcsRLiUWKvakSpJO0J2oyvW5Z9syWyXJEwIWKRiAAPSP5S&__tn__=%2ANK-R)
[https://youtu.be/\_VulmdTWRO8](https://youtu.be/_VulmdTWRO8) | ptsd |
I started Pristiq (similar to Effexor) 3 months ago, and I’ve noticed the longer I’m on it, the worse my OCD symptoms and intrusive thoughts have been. Has anyone else noticed SNRI’s exasperated things? | OCD |
Now being 17 im almost 100% confident that I got OCD. To start off Im a healthy individual even labeled as a “gifted way above average/top charted child” But its not all that sunny as I got OCD as I said. I knew that there was something wrong all my life but now I finally got a name for it. Whole my life I have an obsession with the number 3 as my ocd views it as a perfect number. I got to perform a random action at a random time 3 times. Why? I dont fucking know. I also perform rituals involving the number after getting an obsessive thought. Sometimes it is like if I dont bang the table 3 times the pope is going to turn gay. Wtf. I also have an obsession with perfection and symmetry being a lazy messy person on top of that. When I was a kid and a tiny mirorr would get lose and the other wouldn’t I would yeet the toy and refuse to play with it. Finally its the thoughts that haunt me questions about myself that I know the answer to but they wont fucking leave me alone tho. For example Im having a mental breakdown at 4am if I like F1 or MotoGp more when the answer is f1 and I never watched a motogp race and dont plan to. But I cant think of anything more my brain is stuck. | OCD |
I have come to the realization that I have OCD or GAD. I extremely afraid of HSV. I feel like I need a therapist but I don’t know how to bring it up to my parents because they don’t know I have this problem. I find it embarrassing, I don’t talk to anyone about this. I am so afraid of this virus because I know that so many people have it, it can be asymptomatic, and there’s no cure. I have convinced myself that some of my family members have it even though I’ve never seen them with it. I find myself becoming distant from my family because of this issue. This started in January. I ended up getting tested once after seeing a video on how you can be asymptomatic and I was afraid I had it so I got tested; negative. I have intrusive thoughts about this virus. I always think I’ll get it by touching objects others who have this virus have touched. I often think that I’ll get it by talking to someone, and think what if they are talking to me and accidentally spit and it lands on my lips. I find myself overly washing my hands and face. My hands and face are now chapped and cracked, I have been having to apply a cream to my hands&face because of how dry they are. | OCD |
Hellooooo!
This is a two parter! Im sure it will be long winded bc ya know: ADHD.
First part:
What do you do for a living? Do you like it? How does it support/impede your ADHD?
Second part (the long winded part about me):
I recently turned 40 (until very recently almost all of those 40 years I have coped with my VERY specific “personality” …unbeknownst to myself that I actually have ADHD). I have been fired from/walked out of all jobs that require me to work a typical 9-5/sit in one place for too long! I find most things incredibly boring and I just don’t take work seriously. I’ve always gotten “in trouble” / challenged authority/ rolled my eyes at people who care about pushing papers around a desk all day. I hate tedious, low reward work. I just… can’t. Zzzzzz…
Over the last 10 years I was organically drawn to the fast paced service industry life (constant dopamine hits ! Weeee!) . First as a barista/coffee shop manager and then in the last 5 years I have built my own business as a successful pet sitter and dog walker. (Another service based industry with constant movement and reward based dopamine hits alllll day long!). I do well at it and I love it.
Unfortunately dog walking -though I do make decent money!- is not something I can see myself being able to retire from or physically keep up with. It’s hard work. 7 days a week, 12 hour days. Miles and miles of walking every day no matter how hot or cold. Ouchie on the body.
As I stated above I am 40 and in decent shape now but I doubt I can walk for hours and hours a day when I am in my 60s or 70s. And god forbid I get in an accident and get injured- I have no job security. My body is my work.
So … I am mentally preparing to transition into a new career within the next 5 years or so. (Oh also , I have had people work for me and I have contemplated growing the business and getting myself out of the physical work and just transitioning to a manager position but I really hate managing people . I’m too much of a codependent people pleaser perfectionist lol 😂)
Running my own business is incredibly challenging but I’m good at it. As someone with ADHD it’s amazing I have succeeded at it and I am proud of myself . ( My book keeping is A MESS though! but I hired a book keeper and accountant to do that boring tedious work for me to prevent me from going to jail lol)
There are so many perks to my job! Mainly : I don’t have to work with humans!!!!!! I don’t have a boss! No one can see or judge my frazzled brain! I can listen to podcasts all day long and get to ponder the nature of existence and go down all the rabbit holes of the things I am interested in learning on any given day! I can cry in my car if I’m having a triggering day! No one can see or judge my frazzled brain! I get to hide to plain sight from society!! And it goes without saying : I love animals so spending all day long with my dog and cat friends is a dream come true!
BUT I’m in almost constant pain from walking so much. My shoulder and neck is jacked up from strong dogs pulling. And I never get a day off. It’s the troll toll I must pay to live this free wheeling amazing lifestyle 😆
I just …. can’t imagine what else I am possibly qualified to do that will not make me feel insane or like I’m a rat in a cage. I don’t have a college degree and all my work experience is based in the service industry .
Also major relevant side note:
My true interests/passions do not lie in the material world. I am a spiritual seeker who is obsessed with learning about the nature of consciousness. I am not money motivated and being around humans is very anxiety inducing for me.
Should I go to school for a theology or religious studies degree?? Is it even possible for me to sit through a class?? I don’t know !!
Am I screwed from being so spoiled?? My beloved job really is great but damn... I don’t think I can do this forever. 😭
I would love to hear any and all advice !! | ADHD |
Hi everyone
Hope you are doing well.
I really need your help and advice. I need to be able to focus on my studies after my work is finished which is around 6PM. My question is, how can I take Ritalin at 6PM (only evening with no morning dose) and be able to sleep at 12pm so I can wake up the day after for work.
I only have these 6 hours of free time for my personal studies and I need to be able to concentrate.
So if any of you know how to use Ritalin in such scenario or if you have other medications (especially supplements) that work for concentration from 6pm to 12pm, please let me know.
I highly appreciate your input
Thanks | ADHD |
I've got a problem; for a long time, many times I have walked into a room and unconsciosly started fiddling with something, I would randomly start tapping my foot when doing something boring, sometimes I just get these random bursts of energy and concentrating is sometimes almost impossible, even when a person is talking directly to me.
I've seen nigahiga's video on the topic and howtoadhd's vid as well, so I'm 90% sure that I have it.
But how should I ask my parents to get a test since nobody in my family has had it before. I tried some things, like asking my parents what ADHD was one day, and bookmarking the 2 vids as ADHD Thing -1 and ADHD Thing - 2 and added some stuff to my google search so it would show up as autocomplete. But they didn't think anything of me bringing it up, and ignored the bookmarks and autocomplete. I even left a vid open for an hour but they didnt see it.
I want to bring this up lightly and it seems that the only way to do that is to talk to them directly. How should I go about doing this? Any help would be highly appreciated. Thanks! | ADHD |
I’ve noticed I either overjam essays with the same idea just repeated in different words or I make it so short and straight to the point.
My teachers don’t understand how my brain works and keep on telling me to write more but not too much! But when I write 3-7 paragraphs they don’t usually accept it? Especially me English teacher who is extra harsh with me because apparently “I can do better”
The reasoning is because he was my history teacher and I’m well versed in history. English and history are not the same | ADHD |
[Here's last week's thread](https://old.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/mmt198/hows_your_week_going_so_far_weekly_post_164/)
Suggestions are ALWAYS welcome on how to improve the threads I post at any time. After all, I do this because the community wants these threads to exist, and I take the time out of my day (every Thursday and Saturday) to post the weekly threads, to ensure the community gets what it feels it needs.
**So, continuing with the theme... /r/aspergers, How is your week going so far?** :) | aspergers |
I don't know how any of you have the strength to get your diagnosis... I struggled 2 years with trying to get help and wasn't able to bc I was scared I was gonna get something wrong. So I spent this time researching and "making my case" as to not get misdiagnosed (I'm a woman, so that adds to it). I have a huge document where I add all my symptoms and things that might be related. Now, I was finally able to get over my fear and call a GP.
Had my appointment, he told me I might very well be right about my hunch, so he'll give me a note for a psychiatrist. Looked multiple up and was able to call today, they told me they have a spot in May but can't diagnose me, I'll have to go to an "ambulant clinic" near me first (don't know if that's the right way to describe it, it's what it's called in Germany). So I reached out to a clinic near me and they told me it's a four year waiting list. I was absolutely crushed. How is anybody supposed to get help under these circumstances??
Another clinic further away told me to first get a note from a psychiatrist (in May) and then call again. It just feels like a horrible and painful game of hot potato and nobody will help me. It's so hard deciding to and being able to get help already, this is just completely bringing me to my breaking point. I hate it here... | ADHD |
I feel like my life is a mess. I can't remember the last time I was genuinely happy for more than atleast 1 hour. One hour, I'm like "Yeah, I'm good" and the next minute I wish I went to sleep and never woke up again. To be honest, I've been spiraling downward in everything in life, I can't focus properly on studies, I'm addicted to social media (I'm trying to come out of it), my parents think I am a failure (which I accept). I've done nothing but let down the people in my life to this day. I never live up to expectations, I hate my current household, because the environment is so toxic, I have friends, and I while I feel like I am socializing, but at the same time I feel lonely and desolate inside. I even started a relationship more than a month back, but I am afraid that the guy might want to leave me, even though he does reassure me, I still have that tiny doubt in the back of my mind, because I am paranoid, an over thinker, and I usually mess up because of this. I have some important exams coming in 2 weeks which will shape my future, but honestly I am so demotivated that just want to curl up into a ball and never come back into the world again. And at this point the only reason I even am alive is because of my friends and my boyfriend, otherwise I don't think I would've been here this long. My parents are toxic, they think mental health is just an excuse for weaklings, so I can't even go and see a therapist. I've been sleeping less, self care has reduced, everyday I wake up with a sense of guilt, I procrastinate and just feel isolated, and lonely, and seeing my peers all happy in school makes me wonder how they manage it. I feel like a useless piece of pessimistic shit.
I just want to start focusing on myself and my studies, but I don't know how to go about it. So if someone could give some tips, I would try it out and see if it works so that I can improve my life, be a better version of myself, and get out from this deep, dark pit in my mind.
(Also, how to handle with social media addiction would help)
\-Just some random failure. | depression |
So basically I wanna preface this posh by saying my parents are interesting in this situation.
Both are doctors, so they do in fact understand this is a real issue, but they also immigrated to America from India, and have a little bit of stigma in the mental health field.
But at the same time, my mom in particular really wants me to see a therapist. She knows I struggle with ocd and other trauma related issues but I’m just too scared to do it.
I am a freshman at college and I don’t think I could do remote therapy because my roommate is in the room pretty much 24/7 (gets annoying lol) and I don’t know how feasible in person is because I don’t have a car at college.
On top of that, I feel scared. What do I tell people when I have therapy? What’s my “excuse” for being busy, and what if people see me there?
I’m sorry for seeming backwards but I really just want to ask some people with similar situations about this because I really want to go to therapy and better myself but the social prospect of it all scares me (I worry a little bit much about being judged) | OCD |
Does anyone else really struggle with speaking coherently to get your point across and not pausing mid-sentence to think about how you're going to finish the questions or sentence, or tripping over your own words? I feel like I sit at my desk spending plenty of time thinking about how I want to ask something or tell someone something. But when it comes time to actually walk up to them and talk, it comes out as a garbled mess that I have to spend more time talking to make it more clear of what I am asking. I was never good at speeches in school and absolutely hated my debate class in high school. Also, I'm usually perceived as quiet because when I want to say/ask something I have too much running through my mind I don't know how to convey my message efficiently, even though I know what I'm talking about, so I get discouraged. Any tips on how to improve this?
This is basically why I like texting and email so much more than straight dialogue or over the phone. I can actually spend the time to think and organize my thoughts. I can type something out and read it over a million times to make edits and reorganize it to make more sense. Also probably why my messages are typically long like this simple question... | ADHD |
I hate the feeling of being dependent on meds just to be able to do simple things like communicating with others, working, and focusing. It makes me feel useless as a person.
I know it's because of ADHD and that's why I'm facing these problems. But sometimes I can't help but compare myself to ‘normal’ people.
Edit: Thank you so much to everyone for your kind words and support. I’m feeling better about myself now! And I’m Sorry that I didn’t reply to everyone. I know what I want to say to each of you but it’s so difficult to write out my thoughts.
Thank you guys!! | ADHD |
Idkif this is ocd or not but I get obsessive intrusive thoughts sometimes like randomly in my head something will pop up like I have to blink five times or hold my breath for thirty seconds or something bad will happen sometimes I can ignore them especially when the demands are are too ridiculous but now this has phased into my videogames. For example I can’t make certain decisions or something bad will happen. Idk if this is ocd or just basic anxiety but yeah I’m just sad | OCD |
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