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So basically I'm worried about pocd, (fear of being a pedo). I was wondering this because the I seem to worry about the way I feel in response to a thought rather than the thought itself.
E.g if I think a girl is pretty the thought doesn't bother me
But it's the fear of feeling sexually attracted, that makes me doubt if I am sexually attracted and I catastrophe and conclude I am sexually attracted and doubt myself to the point it feels real. Is this ocd ?
How do I overcome this?
I felt the same before with the fear of schizophrenia worruing about not being able to think clearly and then, I couldn't think clearly for months😭😭😭
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OCD
|
im trying to do schoolwork right now but i keep getting distracted with reddit, i just got my adderall prescription, but for some reason im like hyperfocused on reddit right now and i want to make it so i cant go on any "fun" sites does anyone know how i could do this? i have a thinkpad windows laptop btw
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ADHD
|
I obsess a lot over death and existence in general. None of my compulsions seem to have anything to do with this, though, unlike most people I’ve seen. For example, my most common compulsion is, and I know it sounds gross, licking things. I’m just wondering if compulsions HAVE to clearly relate to obsessions, like contamination OCD and hand washing, or if there can be no clear reason why you do them.
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OCD
|
I have purely obsessional ocd. Recently it’s latched on to my boyfriend which is a super amazing relationship but convinces me I have cheated all the time. I’m currently going through false memory thoughts thinking a conversation I had with a man on vacation has spiraled out of control in to all these intrusive thoughts about cheating and kissing. The guilt feels so real even though I know deep down it probably isn’t true. (OCD makes you think it “probably” isn’t). Why does ocd latch on to things we care about and try to attack us and make us doubt? None of us are bad people. But it seems like the obsessions that ocd latches on to wants us to always feel like we are doing something bad or are immoral. Mental reviewing all these scenarios obsessively gets so tiring. I’m just at a wits end.
Seeing an ocd specialist next Wednesday.
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OCD
|
I have an event that happens six times a year, and every time it happens I get very anxious and sad for no reason. There isn’t any thought behind it or anxiety, I just feel like utter shit. My therapist and psychiatrist haven’t said so, but I was wondering if this was PTSD. I have a very clear trauma that could have caused it from years ago, so I just wanted to hear what others think. Thanks
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ptsd
|
So I’ve been dealing with ptsd for the past two years, not the longest time, but it’s been pretty debilitating with taking classes in college. Well today was the first time I actually feel proud of myself for working through it all seeing how far I’ve come. I used to feel so stuck in my emotions and feelings that I felt like I’d never get better, but with work and effort I have found myself in a place I’d have never seen myself in. If you ever feel like giving up on yourself take a moment to think about what could be out there for you. Ptsd doesn’t make you any less valuable or intelligent. You are amazing and you can push through it to find what’s out there for you.
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ptsd
|
Fighting OCD isn't about tolerating the OCD signals and manifestations. It's about actively disbelieving them as well through practice. Don't dwell in the abusive relationship- instead, leave it all together and learn to live differently.
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OCD
|
Title says it all really. Saw my closest friends for the first time in 18 months (thanks Covid). In that time I'd worked out what real event OCD was and worked on exposure and resisting confessions with my partner but I've recently come off my SSRIs and could feel the thoughts bubbling up at the prospect of seeing friends again.
There were some tough spots but I feel simultaneously exhausted and invincible that I did it. OCD didn't win today.
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OCD
|
I've had multiple times including today where i was going to comment on something being good but then stopped myself incase it turned bad?
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OCD
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I feel guilty for feeling these emotions because I emotionally support other people in my life. But the fact of the matter is that I am lost and sad and empty and I don’t know what to do
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depression
|
TL;DR: depression for 8 years which begin due to trauma, I’m 24M now, feel like I’ve done everything I can but nothing seems to work. Has anyone here been in a similar position and come back from it? if so, how?
I have had severe depression and mild-severe anxiety since I was about 16. Was falsely accused of rape and my life has just spiralled ever since. Accuser admitted to lying but drama travels faster than the truth so it seems.
I’m 24 now and the only relief I’ve had in that time is the odd day here and there where I can keep my head above the water for more than what feels like half a second.
I’ve been on multiple anti-depressants, I’ve been off anti-depressants, I’ve kept a good sleep schedule, I’ve been to therapy for multiple stints, I’ve exercised, I’m in my last year at uni and just got some good grades back, I have no trouble with and am generally good at public speaking, I have a lot of friends, I have a great best friend of 20 years, I have some good people in my family (dad used to beat me when I was younger but we’re mostly good now), I’ve tried meditation, I’ve tried ignoring it, I’ve tried facing it, I’ve tried all sorts of techniques recommended through CBT sessions, I’ve tried illegal drugs that supposedly help, I’ve removed caffeine from my diet, I’ve moved to a new town, I’ve moved back home, I’ve had multiple girlfriends and have never had trouble with women, I’ve talked about it with friends and family. I try my best to live every day to be a good person and genuinely do think I’m a good person.
Despite all of this, nothing offers any release.
Last year I came close to suicide but I’ve managed to stave off doing that since.
Before things take a final turn, is there anything else anyone can recommend I try? I want to get better, I’m dying to get better, I’ll try anything, it’s just that nothing works.
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depression
|
I know I have problems socially myself so I SHOULDN'T be so harsh on others, right?
Seems like not. Whenever I'm in social setting, I get constantly super anxious when others break rules I have learned or have been forcefully taught. Stuff like interrupting, correcting, arguing, disagreeing, joining convo "wrong time" etc etc. I'm fully aware I do these things myself, but more than myself doing these things I get anxious when OTHERS do them.
It can literally be anywhere. I have to wear headphones in bus so I don't hear strangers' convos. In school if student and teacher start arguing I escape to the bathroom. If I sense two people starting to disagree or I hear someone using a word often considered wrong or awkward, or discussing topic that isn't under the "rules" I need. To. Get. Away. The anxiety os so bad it gets almost painful.
Like I shouldn't be this bothered and "perfectionist" with people surrounding me when I probably do exactly same things. Idk if it's just that I have learned how to be as perfect as possible and not to make fuzz and forced it so deeply within myself that what ever crosses the line is instant code red for me. No matter if made by me or others.
I guess I also hate the unpredictable nature of those situations. When people do something surprising or get fueled by their emotions the situations often get "unstable" and I can't anymore tell what will happen next.
Anyone else? I have tried to connect with my irl friends and family with this but no one seems to relate haha.
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aspergers
|
Has anyone legitimately been cured of this OCD and how did you overcome it? I’m tired of the same events getting stuck and replaying over and over again.
|
OCD
|
Me again with the morality/responsibility OCD, which I've barely been able to work on in any sort of therapeutic way lately due to how whacked out everything got with trying medications.
I just can't drop stuff. I don't know how to. I just don't know how to let things go.
My mom drives most of the time now because of my driving OCD, yet I still run into issues while *she's* driving.
I saw a deer out my window. Stared at it as we went by, I rarely see deer even though we've moved to a place where they're more common.
It lifted its head as we went past.
"It noticed you," disorder said. "Now it's going to run into the road, because deer are nuts, and it's going to cause an accident. All because you stared at it."
Like... all I did was look at a deer. All I did was look at it.
I didn't look behind us to see if anything happened, and it's likely nothing did, but. Holy shit. Just. Holy shit. I don't know how regular people live. I really don't know.
At an arcade, mom and I each put a $20 in to get forty bucks worth of quarters, since we have to use quarters for laundry now where we moved.
"You're gonna run this place dry of quarters," disorder says. "This is a business and they're relying on things going smoothly to pay their workers. You're fucking that up."
And then I end up with a fucking list of these types of issues in my phone, because I need to vent them to my mom or to my therapist or to SOMEONE.
You know how long this list can get?
It feels like drowning. It just gets longer and longer.
I don't know how to beat this.
I'm gonna try to call Harmony Bay Wellness in NJ this week and see if they have any openings anytime soon, since my current therapist is leaving in a few weeks anyway.
Psych wants me to try Viibryd but it has to go through my insurance and I wonder if it'll be affordable. She also wants me to go back to the 5mg of paxil before switching, instead of the 10 that I'm on now. But when I reduce my paxil, that's when I run into problems... that's the whole fucking reason I agreed to a medication that I could switch right onto instead of having to cease the paxil first..
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OCD
|
Do the mods remove posts at all? I thought I had posted something here but can’t find it. Triggering my ocd haha (not really)
|
OCD
|
So as the title suggests, I don't really know how to balance multiple friendships and I'm hoping you guys/gals/others can help. Tl;dr at the end.
Little bit of backstory, I'm in ninth grade at a quite rural Canadian high school. There's maybe 850 students in my school. I've always had a hard time making friends, but recently I've somehow (I don't know how) have made a few friends. They don't really know each other, and I don't think they'd get along as they're quite different.
I usually spend time with the one I met first, let's call her M, during classes we have together and breaks. We don't hang out outside of school. The second one I met, let's call her L, I usually hang out with during lunch/breaks as well.
Now the problem. I value them both as friends, but I don't want to introduce them because while M takes a long time to warm up to people, L is very outgoing once she is introduced to someone and I'm worried she might overwhelm her and things will get weird. They both tend to be people pleasers, even if L isn't quite sure how to go about it sometimes, and I know if I ask them to both hang out they will. But I don't want to make them uncomfortable.
So, how do I split my time between them without favoring one? I always spend Tuesdays and Thursday break/lunch hours in the library, which is also where L works for a co-op placement. But I want to hang out with her outside of when she's working so we can do things. But sometimes on the days I try to hang out with M, L contacts me, and vice versa. I just don't know what I'm doing. I do not have the social skills for this.
Tl;dr: How do I spend time with multiple friends without making one feel forgotten or left out?
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aspergers
|
Tl;dr I need job/ job skill ideas that dont involve customer service or need a degree cause I have "rude" verbal tics like swearing, and cant handle being yelled at. I had to drop out of college for now cause of my PTSD.
Hi, I have PTSD, OCD, ADHD, and tourettes (the first and last of which really cuts down the jobs I can think of for myself). I have trouble with handling school (adhd and ptsd) and had to drop out of college, but I'm hoping to go back one day, to finish my Human Resources degree and Spanish minor. Without a degree, though, I feel like my current job options that dont involve customer service are really limited.
Can anyone give me ideas of jobs that dont need constant quiet or have big loud noises (ptsd gave me sensory issues with sounds) and dont involve customer service (I have verbal tics, many of which are swears or sexual, and I get bad panic attacks and am really not okay for several days when people yell at me)? There are no bad ideas here, I just need some inspiration for where to seek training or apply when COVID calms down (I'm currently a driver for Doordash, which works for now but is rough on my car)
Any ideas are welcome, none are too silly. I'd also love ideas on where to start learning the right skills to be more employable for quieter/ less stressful jobs.
I guess I just want to see if there are any ideas I havent thought of or ways to get around my problems with "normal" below-degree-level jobs. Hoping to find some direction since college is probably gonna have to wait a couple of years.
I'm new to this subreddit so if I misunderstood the rules or this doesnt fit where I posted it, please let me know and I'll be happy to fix/ move/remove this post.
Thanks!
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ptsd
|
So earlier last month I was feeling suicidal. Even ran out of home in a vague and short attempt to jump into a river. After that I felt suicidal for a week or so, but then slowly I am just feeling depressed. I am attending all my college lab classes online,they require little effort but I have no desire to do any of the actual work required to complete them, or for the impending end term exams. The pain may come back later, but I just jumped into watching the anime Spice and Wolf, and reading the novels later.And as always ,I find my suicidal urges disappearing because of the anasthetic of stories. But its just a temporary fix,because I just don't give a shit honestly
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depression
|
Hello, still new to figuring out stuff about adhd. I’ve had my adhd diagnosis for awhile, but only now as an adult, reflecting back on things that I’m starting to see how adhd affected me growing up. I’ve noticed that I have pretty bad mood swings. Feeling like a roaring lion one moment to being sad ir bored the next. I notice I feel really good at night right before I go to bed I want to do a lot of things, fall asleep and don’t completely retain that energy. This could also be from my depression which has gotten better but it’s still difficult to get out of bed. I’m on anti anxiety and anti depressants and I take my adhd medicine and these mood swings still happen. Heck I decided to get re assessed just to make sure I don’t have bi polar or specific anxiety disorders also. Just wondering if these mood swings are normal for those with adhd, and how they overcame it. Does mood stabilizers help out? And yes I work out, mediate, and practice mindfulness.
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ADHD
|
I was excited to have the week off. Had so many plans to clean and prep for family. And now I’ve found myself in a bottomless pit of just plain torture.
One minute I’m so exhausted I could sleep for a month and the next minute I’m bombarded by guilt for letting my house go down the toilet. So I force myself up to do something but I quickly find myself so tired and sad I just want to go back on the couch.
Could this be seasonal, I live in the north US? How do I deal? I’ve tried working out. Drinking more water. Sleeping more. Eating. Baths. Vitamin D. I’m starting to think it’s not seasonal? Idk. Just venting I guess.
My husband has told me I’ve been on a rollercoaster the last few days and it’s made me more aware that somethings off.
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depression
|
When paying attention to someone talking to me (or anyone in hearing range), I involuntarily blink at the same rate as they are talking, it's not a tic, it just happens when I'm consciously listening to their voice, and of course I have been mocked for doing it.
It's interesting that NT's just move their eyes side to side when listening (and remembering) just like we do, but I don't see them blinking at the rate of the speaker they are paying attention to, it happens to me even when I'm trying to ignore strangers talking in the street.
Since blinking rate is related to voluntary attention (task-mode network?) and time perception (sleep is just a very long blink, like Dr. Andrew Huberman says), I wonder if it's related to my ADHD or exclusive to aspergers, since we have to pay attention "voluntarily" during conversations to mask correctly, whereas NT's compute most stimuli subconciously.
TL;DR: I think that blinking at the rate of a sound you're paying attention to is completely normal, but it doesn't happen to NT's during conversation, and it weirds them out when I involuntarily do it (mostly when they change their cadence, not all the time). Is it because ADHD or Aspergers?
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aspergers
|
Hi all! I hope you all are doing great. I am someone who really wanted to cook regularly. It took me years to come to a stage where I'm not eating ramen everyday and also my kitchen doesnt look like a murder scene post cooking. So I wanted to share some tips and tricks that worked for me.
1. Something more important than cooking is your kitchen and storage of stuff like pans, spices etc. Its easy to keep something somewhere and forget it. But to cook regularly, you need to have things in their place. Keep designated places for each item. Cupboard for breakfast and coffee, knives, pans, staples etc. Tell yourself and others where this item goes. Whenever you are cleaning up and keeping things back, make sure you keep them in your designated places. Over time this forms a kind of muscle memory and you do it without much brain work.
2. Have proper storage space for every item you have. Buy some cupboard organisers and storage for pans. You should not be piling up things in the oven if possible. Also get rid of unnecessary appliances and stuff like broken /unused pans.
3. While cooking, start with an empty dishwasher or sink. If sink is already filled, chances are it will only overwhelm you after you have some more dirty pans. So tell yourself it is necessary to take care of this right now.
4. Get excited about cooking and eating. I do this by researching about different recipes, cuisines and nutrition. Its more of a scrolling timepass for me. I love apps like tasty which have 1 min recipes (thats like my attention span). And I bookmark and keep something I like. Also I have a few items I love and are simple to make and I keep them in rotation.
5. Dont force yourself to cook at least while starting out. You need to make your brain believe it is a fun task. So start when you are in a nice mood and also preferably not hungry and starving . And start with a simple recipe you know you enjoy eating. Make stuff you enjoy eating vs ones they say are simple and easy. You know you wont eat it if you don't enjoy it. And your brain starts hating the whole process of the cooking effort. So pick recipes you enjoy even if they are a little more timetaking and challenging.
6. If you are just not in a mood to cook, order takeout or eat ramen. Dont cook one of those easy peasy horrible tasting stuff. Its supposed to be enjoyable not a punishment.
7. Clean as you go is a myth. Make as much mess as you need to. (But keep stuff in the sink and wet them so that they dont dry. ) Reward yourself and eat first and get to the clean up later.
8. Keep a time in the night for cleaning up usually helps me. If I miss, I clean up when I am in the mood to cook again next time. But keeping stuff in the sink helps them not get too dry.
9. If you have dishwasher, Unload dishwasher as soon as it completes a run. This is really a helpful thing to practice. You can then keep dirty stuff inside whenever you need and it hardly feels like a cleanup.
Happy cooking and eating folks!!
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ADHD
|
And yeah there's a better but the betters never enough. I'm starting to realize I'm really chasing nothing. I can never get to the place I want to because it never even existed and the days just flow on by. Soon I'll be nothing and there's no point waiting out the inevitable. And how fucking long will that be? Forty some years of nothing, of distracting myself?! It's fucking torture lol
It's a curse, better is lie and I should've known.
|
depression
|
During the assessment as an adult 4 years ago I was presented with a card game. 4 cards were on the table and the assessor pulled a new card and I was tasked with picking where it went. They had shapes, colors, and numbers which dictated where they went. I didn't pick up on what went where and did horrible at the end he asked if I wanted to know how the game was played I was so frustrated I said no.
Well it's been bothering me that I don't know and can't find it by googling, does anyone know what this was?
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ADHD
|
I’ve been doing better, I’ve been on medicine for close to a year now, but I still get the sense that I’m awful because the things I obsess over actually happened. I’m in therapy too.
Any tips for dealing with real event ocd?
|
OCD
|
I never thought that I had ADHD. But now that I learned about the symptoms and causes behind it, I realized that I might have displayed stronger symptoms once I reached the age of 19.
I used to be ok in school and for some reason, after 19 (23 now) I realized that I couldn’t concentrate in class, graduated with a horrible GPA, haven’t finished a book completely in years, take a long time to get my work done due to easily distracted, and many many more symptoms.
Is it possible for ADHD to appear late? Or is this some different issue
|
ADHD
|
I don't have a lot of empathy for other people. I'll feel a bit of empathy if I hear about something that happened to someone, and then I'll just forget about it. I only feel a lot of empathy if it's about something wrong I did directly to someone or they're showing a lot of emotion. I don't want to be like this though, I care about other people and I want to feel more empathy for them. I have a loving family and I want to care more about their lives and feelings like they care about mine.
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aspergers
|
Suffering from HOCD and its getting worse its even with family. Throat feeling, penis swelling, heart beating, feeling anxious, intrusive thoughts. I don't know how to stop it and it keeps making me depressed. I don't know what to do anymore.
|
OCD
|
Hi guys!
I don't know how to describe this feeling with adequate accuracy, but if i don't do compulsions, or i feel that i have missed the "opportunity", to fix my problem with compulsions, i have different feelings in the head. Of course it's not physical pain, but the feeling is just as bad. Like your brain is in a microwave, sometimes it feels numb or tingly. So my head always reacting to what i am doing about my OCD. This feeling is one of the reasons i give in to compulsions sometimes.
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OCD
|
I will preface this with my trauma has nothing to do with dogs themselves or anything related to animals.
I have been DXd with PTSD for over a decade and have received therapy off and on (poor, sporadic health insurance access, little to no community resources at times, etc) since I was diagnosed. My PTSD continues to be disabling, unfortunately.
I have had my dog since she was a puppy. She will be 6 in April.
2 years ago I had surgery and had to leave my dog with someone. When I got her back, she was reactive and barked at everything, generally anxious, and did not respond to most commands. She is now unable to go off leash, walk in public areas, is scared of most common noises, and barks l at random times for no apparent reason. I have gotten her the best trainers I can afford and she is on meds, but experts in dog behavioral health have said they haven't seen such a severe case of anxiety in a dog, and she is probably as good as she can get at this point. She functions throughout most of her day and isn't a bite risk, but she still gets triggered by things and struggles to calm herself.
The problem is that her barking triggers my startle response and I'm now hyper aware around things that may startle her, and around her. I know it's not her fault,but it still triggers me. For instance once time I set a book on the table and it made a weird noise and she barked in my face and then cowered and hid, and now I'm hyper vigilant about anyone setting a book down.
When she barks suddenly, my resulting panic attack can last 1-4 hours. Sometimes she does it in the middle of the night, even just 1 sudden bark can make me spiral. It isn't a continual bark like how some dogs bark at a window, it's a couple of full volume scream like barks and then her being extremely scared/anxious.
I live in a studio, so I can't separate her from me, and I can't afford to live in a different place, and she can't do doggy daycare etc.
My partner suggested once that I rehome her, but I cried for hours thinking about it. I've worked on my startle response for so long and she's undoing every small step I make in it. And I fear that I'm making her worse, too.
What would you do in this situation? Is anyone else triggered by this kind of thing? Were you able to fix it? My therapists said the flooding is really bad for me but I just can't imagine rehoming her.
(Not looking for advice on dog training/vets because again I have those, lots of second opinions, she's on meds, we follow reactive dog protocols, etc.)
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ptsd
|
Completely underplayed my symptoms at my ADHD assessment. Was like my brain somehow forgot how much I’ve been struggling or I didn’t want to seem completely crazy/incapable. I still got diagnosed though, but feel like my Dr won’t take me seriously now and I won’t get the help I desperately need. I know I just need to explain this all to him, but I’m worried he’ll think I’m making it up just to get on meds. Really pissed off at myself right now, especially as I waited so long for this appointment and feel like I need help ASAP.
Anyone else experienced this?
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ADHD
|
Hi Reddit.
I just started on Concerta again after 6 years.
I stopped taking Concerta 6 years ago because I felt like it wasn't working anymore, and i was starting to feel depressed which i thought could be because of the Concerta, i then tried to start on Elvanse but that made me feel really bad.
Anyway i just started on Concerta again today, and I'm not feeling very well. I don't really feel any kind of calmness i just feel anxious, sad and wired - i know it's my first day but I'm just afraid that it's gonna make me feel like I did 6 years ago, because I got a really bad depression after that whole period and had to drop out of school. I was hoping to hear how Concerta was affecting you the first time you took it, eventually after a break?
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ADHD
|
Hello! I recently was diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type and was prescribed straterra and Wellbutrin (low doses since they’re synergistic). I started taking straterra about 5 days ago. I had already been on Wellbutrin for a couple months.
I’ve always had a higher than normal heart rate (around 90bpm) before the straterra.
However, I’m noticing my resting heart rate is even higher now since starting straterra. Like 110-120bpm just while sitting. I’m a bit concerned to see what will happen if I try to exercise
Is this normal? Will this side effect subside in a couple weeks after my body acclimates? Thank you!
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ADHD
|
I would like to know how to deal with this.
I'm forever searching for internet sites, TV dramas and movies that I've seen before in my head and found interesting.
The act is really tiring. But if I don't do it, it becomes a compulsive thought that I might miss out on the best content. It's really hard. My fingers get tired, and my eyes get tired. But I can't stop thinking about it. But sometimes I can't find it. I get really stressed out and very tired at that time.
But I can't stop looking for it.
I want to give up, but I can't stop looking.
I would like to know how to cope with this.
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OCD
|
I have this compulsion where I use plenty of soap when I wash my hands and the bottle gets empty really quickly because of how much I waste it. My parents (who don't wash their hands) complain about it almost everyday but don't know that it's because of OCD. I haven't told them the reason because it's useless trying to talk to them about my mental health. They never listen, it's like there's no way their kids can be mentally ill. My mom barely even talks to me unless there's something for her to complain about. Sometimes it doesn't even feel like I'm their child. Her constantly yelling and talking to herself makes it more difficult for me to do my compulsions and concentrate on them, especially mental compulsions and it makes me so mad I want to bite myself and rip my hair off.
Also my day was going fine until she came home. Of course everything always has to be ruined. Finally was away of problems and she had to make another one. And nobody listens.
|
OCD
|
How do others deal with the brain hamsters that spin up treadmills and cause second guessing around relationships?
I'm seeing someone truly wonderful, and I run into serious doubt around my fitness for her when we aren't together.
I have no rational reason to doubt myself or her actions or intentions, but the doubt arrives when I can't sleep.
Should I ever say anything about this? How do others cope?
|
ptsd
|
The last week of June, I walked into "K", a large chain grocery store. They had just opened up a new store, and they were doing on the spot interviews. I had been trying to find a job, but had so far been unsuccessful. I was the 2nd person that day for interviews, and the 1st one to be hired on the spot.
A week later I got the call to come in for training. I was so excited. The next week, I knew about half the stuff I needed to know for the area I was assigned to. I enjoyed working with my coworkers, and management was nice to me, if a bit overgenerous with the hours assigned. I had even started to build up a reputation with the customers as a cheery employee they could trust. But in week four, I had the worst panic and anxiety attack I've ever had. In the middle of my shift.
My coworkers, attentive as they are to each other, took to essentially babying me any time I started to feel stressed. My managers actually made it so if I started to feel overwhelmed, I could go to the cold room, where we prepackage meats and cheeses for customers, but I would feel bad leaving only one coworker to deal with customers, as we were understaffed. And some of the regular customers even noticed my change in demeanor.
Yesterday, I went into work, and not even 30 minutes in, I had to leave. I was so stressed and overstimulated coming in yesterday, that I broke down crying, and it got to the point that I had a nosebleed. It was then that I realized that I wasn't prepared for this. The stress was too much, my anxiety and aspergers was spiraling out of control, and I was tired. So today I'm going in to resign. And today was the first day in the past month and a half that I've been able to wake up almost anxiety free.
Don't kill yourself for these jobs. Its not worth it. Management and coworkers may be nice, and customers my not always be mean, but if a job is not the right fit, find a new one or give yourself a break from the working world if you have the ability.
|
aspergers
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I don’t know /pocd
Well here goes I’m going to be brief and very detailed as possible ,I’m 26 female and I don’t know if it’s pocd or the real thing .okay so for starters I do suffer from anxiety and sometimes depression from as far as I can remember,I’ve dealt with bizarre thoughts in the past ,such as intrusive thoughts.I remember reading something about an high profile person getting caught up in cp and that made me start thinking about should I watch cp?.what is cp?.but I quickly realized that is something I didn’t want. To do and it was wrong .I’ve been watching porn since I was 11.it was normal porn but over the years I started watching different types But I have never watched CP.and don’t want to.i have never looked or touched an child sexually or thought about them in that way.I love kids I’ve always dreamed of being a mother,but sometimes I used to be nervous of the future like would I be a great mom or what if I abuse my child ?.different things .but fast forward when I used to masturbate I always think of celebrities who are 17,18 who are attractive but I never thought it was an problem because I would think it would be fantasy and that I wouldn’t actually do it in real life .and I have been doing this for 2 years now .but I noticed that when I’m near my god kids I start having thoughts like what if I touch him ? Or should I touch him but I always dismiss it and move on and feel bad afterwards because I have never thought about any kids that way.so fast forward 2 weeks ago after I masterbated .I was watching a documentary or something and it triggered me thinking I was an p and I start feeling guilty of all the things I’ve masterbated too and I have thought some stuff I’m not proud of .but it was like it was sudden and I couldn’t sleep And it was like it just kept replaying in my head to the point I started crying and overtime it subsided but I keep having these thoughts convincing myself I’m a p and yesterday I was near my godson and a thought popped in my head saying touch him touch him it was like an urge.but I resisted and I feel so bad because i love kids and now I don’t want to have any and I feel like killing myself I don’t know where these thoughts came from all of a sudden and why I couldn’t fight them off .I came across a photo of a preteen girl and while I was looking at the photo a thought popped in saying picture her in a bra and I immediately got disgusted and scared.I’m just on autopilot I’ve been googling and googling and just don’t know what to think .I’m just tired I’m just on the brink of tears and killing my self because I can’t accept that I’m this way .I’m so scared I don’t even want to leave the house or anything I was fine couple weeks ago now i don’t know who or what I’m doing I don’t have anyone to talk to I’m scared .
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OCD
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Anyone else been "accused" or have it "mentioned" that they are "childlike" ? i have had this thrown at me many different ways. i do not think i am child like, but then again i find i really do not know how i am portraying myself to the world.
I also have had a few people say i "seem" female. i am male. and not interested in any transgender nonsense. i am happy with my sexuality. but its just something people have brought up. am i alone here?
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aspergers
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I meet my therapist every Thursday for the past five years. Never missed a session and it’s really starting to pay off.
My kids are enjoying my company and feeling safe to be themselves. They feel free to talk about their emotions with me and there’s more laughter in my family. I’m getting my life back and I feel happier everyday. It’s wonderful.
The recovery method isn’t hard to do or hard to understand. And the process of PTSD are understandable and have a logical and rational underpinning.
I’m saying this to you because if I can recover then you can too.
You can do this. You got this.
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ptsd
|
When I leave for work I check my doors like for 2 solid minutes again and again. I know I lock them, but still check it again ''just to be sure''. Same with stove I bend over and smell it like crazy fool, and pointing fingers at stove knobs making eye conctact to make sure they are on ''off'' position, same with water in house searching for water leak, or checking my gun through jacket in work/store etc. if it isn't cocked thus breaking idea of concealed carry. Fuck it would be funny watch myself bend over stove and try to smell some hint of gas if it wasn't so sad.
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OCD
|
I started taking Focalin xr 10mg last Tuesday.
First few days were ok. I was underwhelmed and thought maybe they needed to up my dose. Thursday and Friday I felt almost nothing, which was very disappointing. Decided to take Saturday off to see if I was already building up a tolerance?
Sunday I had to work a brunch shift. I felt a little jittery and scatterbrained the whole time. I do not feel like my medication helped. Also decided to take yesterday off because I didn't feel good after.
Took my meds today and...I feel terrible. Anxiety, heartburn, jittery, on the verge of tears. I'm so confused because this medication was such a game changer for me in high school. I've put a call into my doctor.
Do these side effects go away? Or is it a sign I'm on the wrong medication?
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ADHD
|
Hey, I have been wanting some advice regarding this issue. I’ve spoken to my therapist about this, but she hasn’t offered much help :( After a few incidents i wont go into detail, i’ve become very sensitive to the smell of weed. Smelling it and being around someone smoking it can cause me to panic and feel high. My therapist told me to just use affirming words to ground myself bht sometimes that doesn’t help. living in an area where a lot of people smoke weed, i’m worried about how much more this will affect me and my everyday life when i don’t know when i’ll be sent into a panic just trying to walk to the store or something. any advice to help combat this?
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ptsd
|
I’m tired but to sad to sleep I’m hungry but not at the same time I wanna do my homework but am to laze I wanna die but I don’t wanna leave my stuff bunny behind The voices won’t stop but I’m to tired to shut them up I feel like a disappointment but there is no but I just wanna scream but don’t want to get yelled at I just wanna disappear but have no where to go I just want to be alone I’m sorry for what happened I shouldn’t be alive good night
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depression
|
I have just almost randomly come across an article on TOCD and I instantly knew it was it.
For background. I have taken quetiapine and venlafaxine for misdiagnosed bipolar for most of my twenties (until I managed to withdrawal from efexor) and the only good thing that came for it, was a substantial relief from compulsive tics. But i was never diagnosed OCD nor do I believed i fit the criteria.
Fast forward to this year I was diagnosed adhd, which made a lot of sense. I've taken 2 types of methilphenidate and now taking lisdexamphetamine.
Minor improvements of adhd hyper symptoms but most noticeably, my compulsive tics are making me (and my partner) insane.
While searching for info online i came across an article establishing the parameters for TOCD diagnosis and there is absolutely no question that's exactly what i have.
Fortunately the next appointment is next week and I'll be able to speak with doc about it.
If you have OCD and adhd i would love to know how stimulants impact, or not, your non adhd symptoms.
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OCD
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and his response was ‘that would explain that thing you do with your hands’
what does this mean? haha i also have pretty bad Tourettes, always have. not sure of the correlation or anything?
|
aspergers
|
i (31f) had an appointment today and i again voiced my concerns about maybe having adhd, but she’s adamant that no one ever gets diagnosed as an adult and if they do, it’s only because the doctors aren’t very good. she then went on to mention that if i did have it, a teacher or a parent would’ve definitely noticed and i would’ve gotten help back when i was a kid. so is she just misinformed or is there no possible way that i could’ve flown under the radar all the way into adulthood?
she also recommended that if i really wanted to pursue this i could go to a local specialized clinic and get tested, but that she personally would not diagnose it. i just feel very lost because it’s only recently that i decided to get help for all the issues i have, and for her to tell me that it’s probably just anxiety and absolutely nothing else feels like a slap in the face.
**edit:** thanks everyone! your responses have really calmed me down a lot. obviously my doctor isn’t very well versed in the intricacies of adhd, so i’m gonna take a look into the specialized clinic. thanks again!
**2nd edit:** thank you all once again for all the lovely and thoughtful responses! even if it turns out i don’t have adhd, there’s so much support in this sub… i had no idea how helpful y’all would be or how much this post would blow up. i thought i’d just use this space to answer many of the recurring questions i’m receiving here and in my dm’s: i’m from los angeles. i’m on medicaid. my progress reports and report cards all the way from kindergarten to high school mention things like a lack of attention, forgets to bring materials to class, has trouble with homework, only seems to put in effort in subjects she likes, argues with teachers, and is too talkative. i wouldn’t be surprised if my mother also has adhd because we’re very similar. yes, i am familiar with how to adhd. my psychiatrist has been practicing for 15ish years. i hope this helps because sadly i can’t respond individually to everyone. thanks again everyone!
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ADHD
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I ask this because looking back I had the whole list of symptoms as a child/early teen. Hands were bleeding from being washed too much, had to run to my room as fast as possible when I turned off the lights otherwise I would get murdered by the hidden serial killer in my closet, you get the jist. I want to stay away from self diagnosing but Im very confident I suffered from OCD symptoms. Im 19 now and for the past years ive just been trying to figure out whats causing my mental distress. The problem is nowadays I dont really deal with things such as checking if the door is locked over and over, or counting every step on a staircase like I used to. But on the other hand I do deal with intrusive thoughts 24/7 and I constantly have to tell myself to snap out of it. I tell myself to “shut the f up” out loud 20 times a day and I have a really hard time with things like dishes because the thought of touching old nasty food is repulsive to me. I just feel a little more doubtful now because I dont really feel the more “outward?” symptoms of OCD, and it makes me question whether its an actual problem as of today. Wondering if any of you had similar experience? Im really trying to get a psych soon just looking for some advice while I wait.
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OCD
|
Hiya all. Hope yall are doing okay. To introduce myself I’m 17, male and not diagnosed with depression. I don’t think I have depression idk really I could but I can’t be asked to test or whatever. However I do want to die all the time and it’s a passive thought all the time. I see a random object and think about how I’d kill myself with it, extremely random but it happens. I’d like someone to talk to maybe just to let me know what to do. I work a lot I have two jobs and college to attend to. It keeps me busy and my mind away from suicide. It physicals kills me as some day I’m doing 12 hour shifts with only a sandwich one drink and a 30 minuite break. But I don’t hate work as such it keeps me from my own death. If someone wants to talk or even just sees this thanks. I hope your doing well.
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depression
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I'm trying to do something remote from home cause I am not in the best shape so I'm looking for remote jobs but I don't think I have any of the skills needed to do even entry work
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aspergers
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Not sure if this is the right sub but I got sent to a psych ward late last December. Since then I get nightly flashbacks before sleeping to the cop calling my mom, the ambulance lights, being put in the back of a cop car etc. This happened at a job because I broke down and told my boss I was suicidal and self harm. I’m temporarily not working at due to covid-19 right now. Any tips can help on how not to think about this every night before bed.
Edit: I’ve been on Zoloft since January and not longer feel as depressed and haven’t self harmed since December too.
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ptsd
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My fiance is set to come over on monday and her and I were hoping to be intimate but now not so sure. Any thought of contact like that is triggering. She feels so whatever about it like it doesn't bother her. But I still feel ashamed and I get that I can't control it but that still doesn't change the fact that I wish I could. I wanna get better. I want to be okay. I don't want my ptsd interfering with my interpersonal relationships. I can't put up with this for the rest of my life. This is unbearably exhausting. I feel so ashamed.
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ptsd
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Everything was going through my head. I had that lingering "evil" feeling which I know is my OCD in my head waiting to attack. Then my thumb just moved while trying to do the buckle and it grazed them. I feel so bad. I love my friends and don't want to hurt anyone.
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OCD
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Whatever I do, I cant stop throwing stuff. I remember when I was in middle school, (before I started taking my meds) I thought it was funny to throw a water bottle into a crowd.(because why not **¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯** ) It ended up hitting someone and I got suspended for 3 days, :( Still to this day even when I'm NOT on the meds, I still feel like throwing stuff, not at random people, but if I'm with my friends I think its funny to throw random shit. Like one time I threw a waffle fry from chick fil a at the back of my friends head for no reason lmao. They say its getting annoying as fuck and I'm trying to stop but I genially cant. But anyways how do I manage this and stop?(I take Adderall xr not sure if its important in this situation) (P.S Im not throwing out of anger)
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ADHD
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Do you have interests that is normal to you, but weird to others, me I have an interest in collecting coca cola bottle caps.
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aspergers
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I am 22 years old and I almost got my degree. However the lasts months I already was struggling, but the last weeks it’s getting worse.
I feel so lonely on this world. First I never had a girlfriend, went on a date or whatever. It really hurts me, because I tried so hard and never got any results out of it. I am really scared I will end up forever alone. I hate it. Tried online dating, but just not a single girl matched with me. I am such a loser. Second I really am feeling lonely because the pandemic. I do not see my friends nearly as often as before. I can always text them, but that is nowhere near the interaction in real life. And I something feel that I am disturbing them.
I just don’t know what to do with my life anymore. I am going to need to find a job, which is already hard. But I don’t have the mental energy to do it all anymore. I feel so lonely every day again. I feel like I don’t really belong on this world. I am here, but also I am not. When joining social activities I am there, but at the same point I am just there. I don’t really feel that I am part of it. And afterwards I feel even more lonely. I really struggle with what others think of me. When someone doesn’t reply to my text I already start to think: “what have I done wrong”?
My wish is to get a good job, meet a girlfriend, start a family and spend good times with friends. But in reality I have never had a girlfriend and I have no idea where to find one and if I will ever find one, I haven’t found a job yet, I don’t think I will ever start a family alone and idk about the rest of my social life.
I rather just die.
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depression
|
So I get terribly distracted at work. I've found out it's because my balance is awful and I also can't move my eyes properly. Long story, but my brain is using it's energy to compensate and keep me upright. I also am on a computer for my job, so it's not helpful that my eyes can't focus.
As to my ASD, well, that's part of it too, and I'm sensitive to sound, unfortunately. I spend my day at work listening to audio files and typing them. I've started to realise my ASD is a lot worse and more exhausting than I thought. I had my first Aspie nap yesterday and it was so refreshing. I wanted to stay like that all day. Now, at work, I'm feeling overwhelmed right from the start. It's also a bit boring as far as work goes.
For the aspies that have a job, I was wondering how you deal with overstimulation and overwhelm when you have to work. Any and all suggestions welcome.
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aspergers
|
I have such a difficult time being honest about my diagnoses. I always hide them, hide myself, and hide my symptoms. I barely leave the house in fear that someone will notice and metaphorically drag me to the town centre to stone. I find open and honesty to be a very brave and honourable thing, especially in the name of spreading awareness – when other people do it. When I speak up I feel terrified that all the stigmas of this disorder will find me and stick to me.
I’ve decided it’s time to face my fear of this and be honest with the people around me. I decided, after attending a book and zine festival, that I would use that as my outlet to share my experience.
I put together a 50 page zine on PTSD to both spread awareness and my honest experience.
Sadly, having put it up on my Etsy store and social media offering a free PDF copy or $10 printed copy, none of my friends or family want to read it. They have each individually said it is because it contains triggering content and so they would rather not. This is 100% understandable, but it is difficult for me to say I’ve experienced any sort of catharsis from knowing no one has seen it. What is the point of being open if there is no one to witness?
So I figured I would offer the same here. Maybe some of you would be interested in reading it and seeing the similarities and differences between us.
Here is a link to PTSD & Me to order a printed copy (I’m off work on an unpaid medical leave so the money just goes to groceries):
https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/785724575/ptsd-me-zine-mental-health-and-wellness?ref=shop_home_active_1&frs=1
Or a free digital link (you can download a PDF copy at the bottom of the screen or view it directly):
https://indd.adobe.com/view/c0997c2e-b355-46f0-9931-76ef6464aae6
Feel free to leave your thoughts and opinions in the comments or send me a DM.
I hope you’re all doing okay today.
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ptsd
|
Throughout my whole life, I've never understood poems. I'm not some rough neck dude who doesn't "get" sentiment or emotion, or can't be "moved". I'm a sap for a good story, and love an emotionally tangled ride in a good movie, book or even comic. I even watched a few romcoms and unironically liked them. (50 First Dates and Stranger Than Fiction come to mine)
But poems? I don't get 'em. People are so moved by poems, to me half the time they don't even make sense, and when they do, I don't get why they're so moving. "You're right, love is like the wind and can stop at any moment. okay. I guess that's a meaningful poem? Sounds like life to me."
Is it possible to have an "EQ" so high you ironically stop liking poems because they're "basic" perhaps? Because half the time it isn't so much I don't understand the poem, it's that it's not remotely moving. Most of them feel like they were written by people in r/im14andthisisdeep.
Perhaps I have not been introduced to legitimately good poems?
Having said all that; "Epic" Poems that read more like a story, with characters and a narrative I can totally get behind.
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aspergers
|
Essentially, my gf and I come from very different upbringings. I was blessed with a home where we never moved, traditions were very fluid and big moments were always celebrated to the max. Now, that’s not to say my family was super functional, because were actually not and I have a lot of trauma from it. But, we did have those things and seemed to pull it together for those moments. Now, I will say that my mother and I are especially enmeshed. This and seeing her disrespected constantly growing up, has made me very defensive over her. I always said if anyone was out of line with her, they’d be lucky if their mouthes weren’t swollen shut enough so they could say sorry.
Now, my gf on the other hand had a lot of loss growing up. Like 3/5’s of her family tragically passed before she was graduated from highschool. This meant a lot of moving, not much consistency and often being alone growing up wine she had no siblings. She didn’t even ever have a pet before I met her.
Now that there is context, in January my gf and I were chillin at my moms. She just retired and had received a statement showing her yearly earnings since she was 16. My gf and I added them up and saw it was over a million dollars, like I said I love hyping up my mom so I started cheering and what not and my gf said “it was the average” or something to that effect. I brought it up then and we let it go, but it recently came back to me and I had to ask for more insight and she told me she was just making a statement and didn’t mean to be rude or hurt my mom and actually thinks she has overcome so much to do well and would never try to take anything from her. She was crying hard and eventually after talking about it from an hour started to breakdown and say she was sorry she wasn’t enough and that all her trauma ma have made her not enough and I felt like shit and said I was sorry and appreciated her letting me dig as much as I did. We’ve had a rough patch recently and agreed to have a fresh start and so far it’s been good and I just want this off my mind. I fear that one day my mom will pass and I will hate my gf forever from stealing that moment from my mom. My mom said she didn’t notice, but I feel like she’s just saying that to comfort me.
It’s happened before like at christmas where I gave a speech about my grandma who is passed and after the speech which was long, my gf said “you talk a lot” and I got upset and went to my room. My family said it was uncalled for and the didn’t take it as rude and that I do talk a lot. She apologized to the point of crying and said she couldn’t ever do anything right.
We speculated that perhaps because she has lost so much and not had very many big moments that when she sees them coming up she just doesn’t know what to say or says shit that seems rude to someone who’s very emotional like me. Or perhaps she runs from them and so she makes a comment like that to get away and out of the emotional moment happening. Despite bigger reasons she said she was 90% sure it was just a comment that was objective and not rude.
Please help, I just want us to move forward and me to get off this and not feel that it’s so detrimental and hopefully y’all can help me see that.
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OCD
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i know this might get a lot of negative feedback knowing that the causes of ocd are currently unclear and there is no known way to actually cure it, you just learn to manage it. I have heard about some people "ending" ocd through meditation, things like "qi gong" (idk if i got the name right), and eastern methods for developing mental health and awareness. But is there any documented case really for someone magically ending ocd once and for all? or even undocumented, i would love to hear storie, because why not? there is nothing to lose really.
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OCD
|
So I feel like I’m autistic and definitely match some of the criteria. I am 37, female, and somewhat successful career-wise and also have a good marriage. But sometimes I feel so awkward and different that I start to hate myself. On one hand I would like a diagnosis to help explain why I have difficulties (mostly socializing problems), but on the other hand, I wonder what good an official diagnosis would do for me. I also don’t want to be disrespectful of people who have official diagnosis when I don’t or have people think I am making up my problems. I don’t know…any advice would be helpful.
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aspergers
|
Is it possible for Vyvanse to just stop working or not work at all? I started out on 20mg a few weeks ago and felt somewhat of a difference at first but now I don’t feel anything. And I feel slightly more agitated/ can’t sit still or think straight? Should I tell my doctor now or wait when I see her in a week?
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ADHD
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I’m not sure if this is entirely to do with ocd, but is anyone else able to feel what other people are touching?
|
OCD
|
Today has been very difficult. I haven’t been able to rest. My mind keeps obsessing and over thinking about new and old things. It’s making me feel anxious. I’m struggling with letting go of the past and struggling with trying to ignore flaws in things. My mind keeps also creating hallucinations and images when I open and close my eyes. I want to be able to do the tasks that I need to do around the house and do my fun hobbies but these obsessive thoughts and images keep me from enjoying things. I also still keep getting headaches and head tingles and it’s such an annoying feeling.
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OCD
|
I am 20 years old and I recently got diagnosed with ADHD by my doctor. For background, I did grade in high school and all that stuff, I was almost at the top of my class I had great grades I was always in the advanced classes and I always did my work. I kept up with all my courses and on top of that I also played sports and was involved. Now that I’m in college however I’ve been struggling a lot with classes. I’ve missed a bunch of them because they’re not required for attendance, I’ve been behind for forever, and I feel like im never going to catch back up.
Looking back now I do see a lot of the symptoms such as the constant fidgeting and being distracted by the smallest things. I’m constantly called out for interrupting others because I just have to get what I want to say out, the aggression. But on the other hand, I could “hide” it so well that it seems like I don’t even have it at all.
I’ve been in a constant circle of trying to embrace that I have ADHD and trying to find help for it but then the 180 of being come inside I don’t have it and I’m just simply lazy and I don’t want to do anymore work now that I’m in college.
Maybe it’s a mental game but whenever I talk to a medical professional about it I feel like dirt condescending and in the back of their mind they don’t think I have it either than that I’m just in this for the meds. And I’m scared to tell people in my life about it because what if they to also think that I’m just faking it.
With that and with the stress of school and all this feeling I just feel like a fraud all the time. Like I’m an imposter and someone’s gonna find out.
The diagnosis itself was really quick the first time it took a total of maybe 15 minutes of talking and she said “Yep sure I can give you a prescription for Adderall”. But in my mind it just felt like I faked it and she took my act, so I didn’t take the medicine at first. I don’t know when and got two more ADHD evaluations both online but both very in-depth taking at least 30 minutes each.
Maybe I’m overcompensating now but I still don’t know what to do from here. All three valuations came out that I have it and I guess I should believe it but what now?
I’m sorry it’s a long read, I just need to rant and if you can give any type of input at all into whatever I said I would appreciate it a lot. Thank you.
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ADHD
|
I'm currently seeing an OCD therapist, but they can't prescribe medication for me. Along with OCD I have depression, so I'm interested to see if medication would help both improve.
But tbh I don't really know how this works. Do I talk to my GP? Do I make an appointment with a psychiatrist?
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OCD
|
I hate dating with every fiber of my being because it brings up a lot of emotional trauma/microagressions from growing up with cerebral palsy. I'm hypervigilant and can never relax, even if I like the guy and I'm not able to get to see my therapist for a few days. Just wish there was someone I could talk to about it in private because I'm frustrated/anxious/confused. I either push guys away or trust too fast; is this normal?
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ptsd
|
For awhile now all I can think of is how cruel and cold this universe we live in is. We are beyond insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Our lives are like grains of sand in an infinite beach we all suffer and for what? We are born, fall in love with our parents and for what? They just die and leave you. It’s a net negative result. I would’ve been pure neutral if I had not been born but being born instantly equals suffering for someone. What’s the point of long relationships since I will just grow to love this person that will inevitably leave me one way or another. Our dreams and achievements really don’t mean anything because in the end I’ll die and all the knowledge and skills and feelings and emotions I had will cease as I return to the void.
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depression
|
As the title says I’m not exactly sure what a flashback is. I’ve been saying that I’ve had flashbacks but really all I’ve been experiencing is going distant and remembering/thinking the event. Are those flashbacks?
When I get triggered I remember the events but more extremely.
Does anyone have any idea what the proper term is?
-spooxy
Edit: I figured it out. I’m sure that those are flashbacks. Have a good day/evening/night y’all
Edit 2: so they’re intrusive thoughts not flashbacks, thanks u/Sun_will_rise_again :)
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ptsd
|
Hi everyone. I have been battling with this for so long and I really need some help. I graduated highschool 2 years ago. I went to a boarding school that didn’t allow us off campus and I had no deodorant/antiperspirant. The supplies store was closed. I thought it would be okay to go a week without it! Big mistake! I stank on the 7th day. I live in a tropical climate btw. Anyways a friend in my dorm told me that she noticed but assured me that she was the only one that picked up on it. Anyways I ended up asking everyone and finally someone had an extra one. I wished that I had asked everyone instead of those I knew well. To avoid the embarrassment. It’s been 2 years now and I can’t forget that incident.I am now obsessed with antiperspirants and how my underarms smell. Now I find myself even eating pieces of deodorant (Please don’t judge). These thoughts consume me everyday that I was a “nasty” individual she’s thinking about me being “nasty” and I just want these thoughts to be over. Any tips please I’m begging you. Thanks.
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OCD
|
I recently got diagnosed with OCD and am having trouble distinguishing the anxious/somewhat paranoid thoughts I’ve always had from intrusive thoughts. Whenever my husband and I are having sex or if we get into an argument, I have the terrifying thought of “what if there are cameras in here and people are watching us have sex/listening to us argue and they’re judging us?” and it freaks me out. Logically, I know it’s highly unlikely that this is the case but whenever those thoughts come into my head, I’m not 100% sure what the truth could be. Are these instances examples of intrusive thoughts? I struggle with believing that OCD is actually what I have and am constantly checking this sub/the internet to try and learn more to see if it lines up. Thanks in advance!
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OCD
|
at age 15, 2015 to age 16 1/2, 2017… I was depressed as hell because a multitude of things that I’ll build the courage to post about eventually. But I finally became okay around late 2017-early 2019 I fell in love with myself and I didn’t ever want to be that sad and confused about myself again… but now at age 22 I’ve realized I’ve been depressed for 3 years consistently with no one to talk to. I’m isolated by my family. I stay in bed/room alone all day and my social anxiety has been at an all time high these past few years… I’m really going through it bad… everyone would be so much happier with me gone…
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depression
|
I came across a short story novel written in the 50's called "Flowers for Algernon". It was very touching as well as heart churning to read. I really liked it. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flowers\_for\_Algernon](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flowers_for_Algernon)
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aspergers
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Long story short my friend overseas asked me for a favor and I told him I would do it but after realizing it was too complicated I told him no, then he kept begging me and I said I'll try and then said no again.
I feel bad for not being able to help him and for changing my mind a few times. Any advice how to deal with guilt of a friend
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OCD
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Anyone else find they feel the need to eat meals in front of YouTube/tv show? Alot of the times I'm not even paying attention to it and just have it the background, but I find it super uncomfortable to eat while it's quiet or in a cafeteria setting with other people with a video playing. I find I either lose appetite , or eat really fast barely chewing the food just to get it over with.
Is this an adhd thing or maybe more an anxiety issue?
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ADHD
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Hi. One of my friends quite frequently gets worked up to the point of panic attacks over really small things that to me would be unnoticeable. Such as her hairbands not feeling right, or her clothes not being folded "the same", or furniture being slightly misplaced. I'm not sure if this because of OCD or if these are even symptoms off.
But I wanted to know how to properly help her as she can get really really upset over it and can get quite aggressive towards other people "because it'll never be the same". I don't know if anybody has had a similar experience or something that helped them?
Anyway apologies if this post isn't appropriate to the subreddit, thanks for any help.
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OCD
|
Personally i love spending hours in front of my computer, mostly doing research and editing film material etc.
but from time to time when i type for a short or long amount of time i get a really yucky sensation in my wrist and in my fingers. it feels almost like a tendinitis, except it isnt. (i also get tjis from typing on my phone). i feel super grossed out and nervous and can’t sit still.
i was wondering wether anyone feels this too?
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aspergers
|
Ever since my trauma was inflicted about 2-3 years ago, my life has drastically changed. I already was sort of traumatized by my own family issues, a previous heart break, and excessive drug use. But being in a sexually, mentally, physically, and emotionally abusive relationship those years ago was probably the most scariest thing I’ve ever been through.
As of this year, I have been clean off of drugs besides marijuana (a wax pen). I have been becoming healthier on the outside and my mindset has been changing since I’ve left highschool especially. but I can’t stop having flashbacks.
I also haven’t been able to talk romantically to people anymore. Everything they say feels manipulative. Like they just want me for sex. They just want to take control of me. And I feel sorry for turning everyone down because I’m too broken inside. Hell, I can’t even have sex anymore. I’ve tried many times to have a friends with benefit or hook up. I tense up and then I get reminded. and sometimes I just start crying. It is the worst. How tense I am about sex scares me genuinely. I’m worried about when I turn 21 and have to see a gynecologist and have a pap smear. And being in absolute pain.
I’m becoming increasingly lonely. I have been sent into a sort of relapse in my eating disorder as well. I’m so adamant on getting a revenge body and to not be the same person I was during the abuse. I’ve been doing a lot of strength training, but also restricting to the point I am dizzy. I can’t help it though. My flashbacks send me into anger. I get sucked out of reality and it’s like I see the trauma play through again and it feels like I’m literally trying to pull myself out of my head. Then I just go harder on myself. I have already lost about 7 lbs this past month.
I want to be dangerous I want to be strong. I want to walk out of quarantine knowing nobody can fuck with me anymore.
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ptsd
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I just recently got diagnosed (2 days ago) i’ve been watching a lot of educational videos about it (despite me already knowing a lot because i researched before really being sure to speak about it to my counsellors) and i’ve been sharing facts and aspects about adhd to friends and families and they seem so disinterested or annoyed when i do. I feel annoying and stuff. Does anyone else relate? I just am so excited due to me struggling so much and not being able to get accommodation or really say OH it’s this! due to the lack of diagnosis when i recognized symptoms from childhood.
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ADHD
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I read hundreds of stories about ocd and can never find someone with what I have. I cant even blink or look around. It destroys every aspect of my life a d I just want to k ow if it’s just me. When I blink I have to look at certain things and shit and it ruins my life.
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OCD
|
My biggest dream used to be about having kids and parenting, I used to think about it a lot since I am not a mother yet, but something started to happen: I am having intrusive thoughts saying I want to hurt my kids in the worst way ever. I HAVE NEVER WANTED TO DO IT. I WILL NEVER WANT THIS.
Now I feel so guilty, I feel like I shouldn't want to be a parent anymore, if my future kids hear about it they would hate me forever. No parent think those things about their kids. What is happening? Should I give up? I can't accept this is happening and I really want to pretend it never happened like I never thought about these kind of awful stuff. But I would be lying.
I can't deal with this anymore, I want to get out of my brain, my life, I want to get out of me. I want to be anybody else but me. I can't forgive myself for letting my ocd think about those terrible unforgivable thoughts. At the same time, I can't abandon the dream of being a mom, but I have to, I'll learn, because parenting would make me feel guilty and I would never have a piece of mind (but maybe I will never have peace anyway)
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OCD
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I am once again, after a relatively okay year and half, in the latter camp. I have no plans to kill myself and don't think I ever will, it'd be too easy. But I definetly wish I was dead, that I wasn't alive. I don't see life getting better in the future or atleast ever being worthwhile.
The only reason this last year and half had been relatively okay was because the whole world was on hold. I don't see myself ever being in a relationship, having kids, being loved, loving someone. I'm struggling through university in a degree I hate but have no way out of, because what else would I do. This degree is the lesser of two evils.
I don't see how I'm ever going to get a job, I have absolutely no self esteem to sell myself in a CV or job interview. My anxiety can be so bad that I struggle to leave the house, when my depression is as bad as it currently is I don't even leave my room for weeks, except for food.
One advantage of being a student is that there is some flexibility around it all. Even if I have a bad few months, I can catch back up with a lot of effort when things aren't so bad. You can't do that with a job. I can't just decide I can't bear going into work today like I can as a student.
But I don't have plans to kill myself. I don't want to kill myself. I dont even necessarily want to die. I just don't want to be alive anymore, I wish I never existed. Because this existence is far too painful and tiring to be worth it.
But I can't tell anyone this, because as soon as you bring up that you don't want to be alive everyone thinks that means you're gonna jump off the nearest bridge.
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depression
|
I really hate this about me but I have a problem when it comes to posting photos on social media. I feel the need to look perfect, so I spend a lot of time editing and looking at photos of myself. I don’t do anything extreme and feel happy with the way I look. I mostly manually apply portrait mode, touch up makeup, and add a tan.
I also feel the need to have a ton of photos taken of me, when I know I want to post about it, because I want the perfect photo.
But more recently, I have been extremely obsessive over photos I want to post of my Halloween costume. The main reason is because I want my ex to see how good I look since he last saw me and because I’ve been working out really hard to look good for this costume so I want to show my hard work.
I took maybe 300+ photos, narrowed it down to 5, and edited them to look “photography quality” and literally spent all of yesterday doing this, just obsessing over making them look as perfect as possible. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and hate that I’m this way. I barely post on social media but feel like when I do, it needs to be amazing.
Does anyone else have this issue with photos? How do I work through it?
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OCD
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I suppose my story is not entirely untypical in many ways: I was bullied at school, only had a few close friends growing up, and have struggled with employment for the entirety of my adult life. Naturally I have often felt the need to withdraw from society to a greater or lesser extent, albeit never thus far with it being a permanent intention.
With the pandemic things changed for me in that I was actually given good reason to stay away from people, and I didn’t mind that at first. My family and I were desperate to move house due to neighbour troubles, and it was bad enough that I was willing to move away from a place where I had a few friends nearby. At that stage we were in full lockdown and I’d developed a little emotional distance by virtue of having not seen any of them for so long-literally months on end. Our new house is wonderful but now, after months of wanting to be alone, I find that I am desperately craving the company of other humans.
I have something called Alexithymia, a common crossover with autism, which affects the ability to process and understand emotions (including your own). It also can mean that you don’t feel/register emotions until quite a long time after the triggering event...so it took me a while to realise what a pickle I was in. There are also not many people of my own age group in the area. I have been looking at social clubs and groups (never my kind of thing honestly but I have tried) as well as apps that allow you to meet people in your area (which are pretty much all dating apps in spite of claiming to be for both friendships and dating, not that I’m adverse to dating as well, but that’s a whole extra layer of complexity).
At the moment I just come from work and feel very empty and unfulfilled which is making me quite emotional of late. I don’t always get on too well with my family so it’s a weird place to be right now, even if I do have hope for the future. I’m genuinely amazed sometimes at how neurotypical people manage to juggle work and an active social life. I don’t even work full-time but feel very burnt out regularly-may have some form of chronic fatigue but not sure. So finding friends in the local area who I don’t have to travel far (no more than half an hour or so) to meet would be a major advantage.
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aspergers
|
I hope this is allowed because I don’t know where else to talk about it!!!
Ho-lee-sheet you guys. I haven’t been this insanely and constantly horny since I was 14. I’m constantly sneaking off to get off now-a-days. And the crazy thing is that my SSRI took my ability to orgasm for YEARS. I could only orgasm if I really concentrated and even then it was weak and typically unsatisfying. BUT NOW? My doc increased my daily Adderall from 20mg XR (which did nothing for me) to 30mg XR with a 20mg IR in the afternoon AND MY GOD!!! Not only did it bring my sex drive back from the dead, I can actually achieve orgasm in less than 5 minutes. And it’s ridiculously STRONG. Like I’m having at least 3 earth-shattering orgasms a day lately. Honestly I think the endorphins are helping my mood as much as the Adderall lol.
Anyway, does anyone else experience this??? I’m a woman, btw, if that makes a difference! Every time I look it up online it talks about the opposite affect on men and Erectile dysfunction… so I’m curious is anyone else has this side affect!
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ADHD
|
I’m new to this sub, but suffer from OCD and depression. My corgi recently got sick. GI bug. Yes, Ive been in contact with the vet. He seems mostly back to himself. He just turned 8. I can’t get over obsessing about every little behavior or change in him. Also having he fear he is going to die. It has caused me such torment. He is my best friend and always by my side. I’m fairly lonely and he is my comfort. I could not think of life without him. I’m really suffering. Can someone please give me some advice or help?
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OCD
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I’m just really fucked up rn and need another human being to talk to.
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depression
|
Does anyone else hate receiving gifts? Or someone buying you things?
For ex., someone paying for your lunch or buying you a birthday present.
As for the gifts, it isn’t just about the money, but also the pressure of having to receive it. Like smiling and thanking them when uncomfortable, being watched and judged on reaction, etc.
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OCD
|
Hey guys long time lurker here and i just wanna vent. I feel like ocd is robbing me of everything i wish my life i could be. The people i love are frustrated by me, girls that i like hang out with me until they see who i really am, and even my best friends think im crazy. No one understands what its like and they think ocd is just wanting your room organized or your shoes in a row. Its so hard to find people that understand and have any compassion left. It takes alot out of you when your best friends tell you your insufferable because you just constantly seek validation every 30 seconds. I try to not talk about it but im bad at hiding it and my insatiable thirst for reassurance seeps back in. I dont wanna be like this and i hate myself but no one understands they just think im annoying. The therapy feels like it works but i feel like its plateaued and im not improving like i thought i would. Its taking everything i got too keep going and i just wish i had someone that wasn’t a paid professional to just understand how it feels. Does anyone feel the same?
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OCD
|
I’ve been depressed since I was in the 9th grade. I opened up to one of my friends and my sister and they didn’t believe me saying “your not depressed!” So I kept my feelings to myself. But eventually things were getting to be too much and I asked my parents to take me to therapy. But my parents pulled me out of therapy bc “they couldn’t afford it” but I am almost positive that this was a lie they just didn’t see my mental health as as important. I know this bc they magically were able to pull out thousands of dollars to pay for my sisters therapy but just didn’t want to pay for mine. Then one day in about 11th grade, I was working up the courage to open up to my parents about my thoughts of suicide but then my parents and my sisters decided that day to talk about how committing suicide is selfish (my luck 🙄) and how they would be angry at anyone in the family that committed suicide. So you can imagine how deflated I felt in that moment. Last year, on my 18th birthday I moved out and decided to get therapy on my own, thinking to myself that now I can get better and get help. But my therapist wasn’t ever actually listening and asked me the same questions every session.
So now, I don’t see the point in asking for help. Im just hoping at this point my depression doesn’t swallow me whole.
That sounds so depressing, but I had to get it out somehow.
Im just convinced that a lot of people don’t actually care about how you are doing and that whole, “don’t be afraid to ask for help” thing is utter bullshit. People don’t actually help or actually care.
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depression
|
does anyone else get like a rush of euphoria after getting some really good reassurance? it genuinely feels like i’m taking a drug or something. and even though i’m aware it won’t last long and i’ll be spiraling again soon, it’s nice to just have like 5 seconds of hope and happiness. this seems like the hardest compulsion to starve because i genuinely can’t handle the dread of uncertainty which never seems to go away
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OCD
|
Almost 5 years ago, I was at the deepest point of my life at 17, with ptsd, hypersensitivity, depression, anxiety who lead to a suicide attempt
I can still remember that day like it was yesterday.
And I have been through so much who keep remembering my first aggression and the period around it since.
But
Today, I'm preparing for the most important day of day of my life tomorrow.
I completely restarted my life only my real friends stayed, my family really really helped me ( it's hard to say that since they are the cause of half my problems). With in mind that I will never hurt myself in any way (it was not so easy and not really true either even today but a lot better), and that I will do my best to find a dream to chase it.
So, tomorrow I'm passing the most important test of my exam to become a cabinet maker I already have my high school and apartment to continue my studies next year.
I have a job this summer and I participated to some contest who went really well.
I almost lost my guilt of feeling good. I'm still dealing with a lot of stuff , having really bad times and weekly panic attack but I feel like I'm ready to live now and that I find my f*cking place.
My biggest fear right now is still to fail everything im the most important time. You now destroying everything you've done in 4 years in 30 seconds because of a panic attack or a shit like that. I hope the self confidence i gained in this 4 years are justified and that I'm capable to make it.
I'm shaking and crying writing this.
I'm really happy to be capable of writing this.
It help me I hope it can help, even only one person.
Edit : I wanted to post this in r/depression since ptsd never was my first mental issue but I really like people on this sub and they are against positive post (can be understandable when you're living a really bad time.)
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ptsd
|
Hello, I've recently been getting involved with someone on the spectrum.
To make a long story short, we went out last Sunday. In my opinion, things went great. We were cuddling while watching a movie at a drive in cinema, and we were holding hands. She, at one point, stole my hoodie, and never gave it back. We laughed a lot, tickled eachother and had a good time.
The next day I saw that she had forgotten her lip balm in my car. So I texted her and let her know. She told me to just give it to her next time we met. I asked when we would see eachother next. Instantly I thought "Hey, I need to be more direct, it might sound like I'm asking when we're going to see eachother in a non-romantic way." (we work together). So after she said she didn't know, I told her "I'm asking you out, when do you have time?". She again said she didn't know, and that she would let me know when that was. I told her that was fine, to just let me know whenever, and that it should preferably be during a weekend. She responded "Okay".
Tuesday at night time I was thinking about her. So I asked her if I could call, and she agreed. I called, and I proceeded to tell her something along the lines of: "Hey I was thinking about you". We both began laughing a bit at that, as I know she dislikes cheesy things, because she feels awkward/doesn't know what to do. I became a bit self conscious and said something about "Is that weird?" or something that included the word weird at least. She responded that "You are weird". I do not think that was meant in a bad way, though.
Anyhow, then I continued, and I told her:
"Earlier I was told by someone that it's good to be direct, and I sometimes struggle with opening up and expressing my feelings. I just want to let you know that I care a lot about you, and I like you. I sort of realized it after I made you the star." Referring to a star that I, at one point, cut of a yellow rag as a joke, which we've both been talking a lot about.
Her response was silence. I waited for a little, and asked her if that was a bad/negative response? (To try and be direct and clarify). She told me that it wasn't, but that she was just tired. She then let me know she'd call me the next day. I told her that sounded good, and we said our goodnights.
The next day I was awaiting a call, but I didn't receive one. That was yesterday. I figured hey, she might have forgotten about it/just needs time to process it. Another day went by, nothing. Now I'm here, 48 hours later, and I'm getting a bit anxious.
To clarify, she has told me things such as "You mean a lot to me" and "I don't wanna lose you". So it's not entirely new territory. Did I do something wrong here? Cause to my NT brain, I feel like my attempts at being direct make me seem a bit aggressive (in the first example) and needy (in the second example). While I've asked a friend who's NS, who told me he doesn't think that's the case, and that it was good I was direct and honest.
I guess I just need someone in here with more expertise on this to let me know to calm down and give it more time.
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aspergers
|
Hi Reddits, I began my first year in Uni October 10th studying for a double major in Law & Economics. The year before that (prep.) was hard and intense, but it was a very positive experience (and the only one) academic-wise (schools included). Have had trouble with my ADHD for as long as I can remember.
The past month was tough, and the intensity escelated quickly. Sadly, I find myself studying to exams only couple of days before, not reading the relevant cases to the different classes, neglecting some materials, etc. And it wasnt like that, its just that i feel like im always out of breath but not acomplishing anything! And please dont get me wrong, I want to win. I desire it more than anything.
But i need help.
I thought of asking for advice on how to be more "on it", maybe schedule templates / methods / whatever... Moreover, when the meds wear-off at about 16:00, im so useless and tired. Sometimes, they just make me feel like that anyhow, even in the mornings... Anyways, Maybe you could teach me? Thanks and much love to you all.
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ADHD
|
So I'm sure like 99.9% of the people here in this OCD reddit have intrusive thoughts and well mines started about 1 or 2 years ago and while I've managed to cope with them I still have bizzare and uncomfortable thoughts from time to time, thoughts like oh I'm secretly a serial killer or I want to harm someone which is never true but it sure does feel like it, and with those thoughts I try to block them out by saying "Oh this anime character is a villan obviously who kills a bunch of people" as a way to release the thought or word "murder" and "kill" out. Another thing is that sometimes on the Internet I see memes that include blood or killing jokes which really triggers my thoughts and I click it off Immediately pretending I didn't see it at all and think of something else but it never ends up working, I think of cute puppies but then my brain decides to say "But those puppies actually bite and kill people" which completely ruins it for me and then the whole thought of "What if I'm a serial killer" becomes "What if that person over there is going to hurt me or what if I might bump into that object!?!?" And it becomes a cycle of confused emotions as thoughts go on and off while other ones go off in the background as well so I take a nap but I can't since I'm just moving around in bed mumbling "No no that's not true oh no! Wait that's not right! No no!" So then I try to go finish writing my wattpad stories or draw and it does work and the thoughts fade away which I'm really glad, there has only been a few times where it hasn't worked but that's only cuz I'm really interested on making stories or art look good. But I just need answers on the other stuff on what I said ealier about confusing feelings and racing thoughts that scare me and make me uncomfortable, sorry if it just sounds like I'm rambling like an idiot but really...I feel lost...
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OCD
|
I’ve been doing pretty well dealing with my intrusive thoughts, unfortunately the Internet is a place that’s hard to escape really bad triggers and I’m feeling physical sensations for the first time in awhile. Really makes the intrusive thoughts harder to deal with.
|
OCD
|
I’m back home and I am slow to get up and do normal things. I’m also depressed but I’m on meds that work. Even though I am feeling absolutely awesome on them, it still takes me a while to do things because I just don’t want to do them.
Do nuerotypical people hit the ground running in the morning???? *Like, what is the expectation* I am susposed to meet from my parents. I’ve always been slow to get out of bed unless it was an absolute time crunch, even then I would roll out of bed and be out the door in 15 mins back in high school (which my parents hated).
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aspergers
|
Frens, does anyone know of a weekly planner that has weekdays on the right page and a BLANK PAGE on the left side?
I realised it would be perfect to have one like this but I have found zero options. I’m on the brink of learning bookbinding to make one myself haha, but I know it might come out quite ugly and I have to study for the finals too, God help me
If you know of a planner like that or maybe a place where you can design and order one like that, please do tell, you’ll save me so much stress :,)
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ADHD
|
Everyone says that they’re not fantasies because I don’t want but i wonder if i do actually want them. Almost all my intrusive thoughts are sexual and it confuses me because i get a groinal response to them. I’m worried that i would enjoy them on some level. It feels wrong to ignore them because it feels like i should be paying attention to them
|
OCD
|
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