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Despite this sub, I feel so lonely about this disorder, it feels like we are never understood at times by others.. I would love to meet others like me irl 😔
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OCD
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I’m a parent of a 6 year old aspie and one of the things I absolutely love about him (and there’s lot of reasons!) is how neat and clean he keeps his bedroom. I never have to tell him to tidy up he just works on it every day (puts books and things away after playing with them, clothes are always in hamper, he can even put his own laundry away!!) No one in our house ever makes our beds in the mornings, but he loves how a clean bed looks (the only time the beds are made are when the cleaning people come) so he figured out how to make his bed from copying what they did. Now he makes his bed too!
sorry if this sounds like I’m bragging, but just wanted to share (with all the other parents) that there are some things that are truly gifts if you know where to look for them
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aspergers
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I can't bring myself to do it, the best analogy I can give is when I jumped of the 5 meter board, it's some instinct or fear that won't let me do it and doesn't let me make that simple step. I over think it and keep procrastinating. What should I do?
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aspergers
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21F. I am on SSRI for OCD and my sex drive has reduced alot. Normally I could masturbate using my imagination or erotica only. However yesterday I got very very tempted to watch porn. I only watched porn twice in my whole life, felt super guilty after. I had decided to not watch porn because of how there could be human trafficking and we would never know plus most sites are banned in my country (accessible thru vpn tho). Yesterday tho I got tempted and searched up porn on reddit but I felt bad and switched on VPN and found on a famous site (p*rnhub). I feel very very bad about it. A) What if the person in the video wasnt doing it out of free will B) its illegal in my country cuz of pornban. I feel terrible. I wanted to stop but I also wanted to get turned on so I went with it. What should I do?
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OCD
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So my family is coming into town. Don’t get me wrong I love my dad and my little brother they’re amazing and I love them to death. My mom (who we’ll call P for this shit story) is a totally different story.
For years P abused my siblings and I verbally and physically. She would always be screaming and slapping the second she didn’t get her way or her parenting failed. That kind of shit kept going until we were strong enough to hit back hard enough to make it hurt.
Today she keeps up the abuse by treating us more like trophies than people. She never gives a fuck about what’s going on in our lives until it has an impact on her reputation. If it’s good then she’ll jack it, rub it in the face of whoever will listen and not give a damn about how we feel about the situation. If it’s something bad then oh we better not say a word about it when we’re back in our hometown and saying shit to relatives is off the table. We’re just her gambling chips at the end of the day.
Needless to say P is a “trigger” for my ptsd. Luckily I’m living away from them now but they’re going to be coming into town this weekend and I just can’t deal. The best ways I’ve found to deal with a ptsd episode is getting fucked up until I pass out for a few hours. That isn’t an option this weekend though because I’m going to be on little brother duty and he shouldn’t have to see me acting like that. It also breaks my dad’s heart to see me struggling with this shit and that’s the last thing I want to put him through right now. I just don’t know what the fuck to do or how I’ll get through this weekend.
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ptsd
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Sorry if that question doesn’t make sense. For example the intrusive thoughts I have is what drives me to do the rituals I do. I feel like my OCD mind finds a way to connect anything to the triggers to give me impulsive thoughts. I feel like it’s not me who’s doing that, but I feel like my OCD thinks for itself and it just feels awful.
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OCD
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I suffered a rough time at the beginning of this year and thus enriched myself with new views on many topics including my personality, the human nature and sadness overall. The point is, I walked out of the dark and live reasonably well, so I should feel more powerful, it only makes sense, and the other way around, I live reasonably well because I got more powerful. But I don't, and part of me thinks that I'd be sabotaging my own values I learnt during these difficult times if I accepted that I'm feeling better nowadays. This results in lower self-esteem and continued searching for the power inside me. Why is it so hard to let go of weakness and accept that one can get better and stay this way?
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depression
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Just the idea of the possibility of being a pedophile makes me sick, yet my ocd is trying to convince me that i am.
How do you cope with this feeling? Despite all the proof that i give myself i'm still unable to convince myself that i'm not a padophile.
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OCD
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Sigh...
So I’ve been having a lot of HOCD related dreams lately because of my spike and I’ve been looking for a way to ease them
Yesterday night I looked frequencies for intrusive thoughts and OCD, it’s basically like meditation you just got to relax and let the sounds do their thing, and it worked I slept like a baby and had good dreams, I woke up at around 8 am ish and felt so relieved, I was like I’m finally making progress and the music was still going on (I think the video was 10 hours) and I turned it off and went back to sleep because I was confident that I was okay to sleep now and have a good day
I went back to sleep and had a HOCD dream, when I woke up I shouted the loudest “god fucking dammit”, I was just so pissed off, why tf didn’t I just let the video keep playing, why do I keep making these overconfident moves that screw me over, God damn I’m tired of losing to this man, what should I have done?
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OCD
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This started off as a comment on someone else's post but here we go:
I've played dnd a few times while hanging out with my friend who is a girl. The first few times it went well and they started a new campaign last year that included me. I've just been avoiding the game as it became less fun for me with everything going on in my life and more like a test I never really studied for because of the amount of practice i need. Also avoiding it because that one friend isn't there and my other close friend in the group the dm is a little busy dming and on top of all of that it didn't feel as fun as it did before. I plan on going back to it to play dnd some more and use it further my writing projects before I go back to school as an English major but I've been avoiding it and just focusing on school and life and shit. Also socializing in a group setting where everyone is there to play dnd has been hard for me. So I'm just typing all this out in it's own post instead of making it a comment on someone else's post. Also I'm probably just going to go back and do my best to get better at dnd but it's just harder than it is fun, currently
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aspergers
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All water tastes terrible. I’m having trouble drinking it without feeling sick from the taste. I’ve tried from multiple sources (work, home, filtered, bottles etc) and it all tastes very different from each other but all of it is awful. I’ve never had this issue before, just wondering if anyone else has experienced this or just me, and if it’s drug related or something else.
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ADHD
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Before all the shit happened i had a premonition about this year. i had a mental breakdown out of nowhere and i felt like something horrible was going to go wrong....
I was abused severely as a child and I feel negative emotions even those not my own as physical pain. I am terrified of people who get loud and physical when they're angry. I shutdown, my blood pressure goes through the roof, i start to hyperventilate or cry, it feels like someone is stabbing me with a knife repeatedly, my ears start to ring and sometimes it even can trigger a severe migraine that gets worse the more stressed I am.
I don't understand how humans think its ok to fight violence with more violence. Because of my PTSD I see angry or combative people as dangerous and untrustworthy. It doesn't matter what ethnicity they belong to so don't start calling me a racist or BLM hater. All the looting and violence has made my PTSD so much worse. It doesn't matter what side your on if you hurt someone then you're the one who's on the wrong side.
BLM was a great movement that was ruined by some people who decided to use it to fuel their selfish close minded aggressive agenda. we only have ourselves to blame for all this pain. Blood has spilled blood and I can feel the hot sticky iron sea lapping at my throat ready to drown me in darkness forever.
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ptsd
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It'd be nice to have someone that cared at least if im dead or not
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depression
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As some of you will know, today there is the final football match. People screaming and loud noise in general scare me, they are one of my triggers due the circumstances around some abusive behaviour in my family since childhood.
I know football is an exciting moment for many people, so I'm not mad at them, nor do I actually hope Italy lose. I hope those people have fun and get a break from their everyday problems.
And yet, my heart beats so fast when people yell and scream. The match has not yet begun and people are already screaming and blowing the horns of their cars so much.
The funny thing? I love metal music and attending metal music concerts. I guess I will be listening to metal or watching a movie for a few hours.
My brother doesn't care about football, and he would always watch a movie with me, to distract me. This year he moved to another country, and I miss him a lot.
I'm not sure why I'm writing this, I needed to let it go a little bit I guess.
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ptsd
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Nothing I do in life keeps me content. It’s easier to push people away. I live on my own and at the moment I know it wouldn’t be safe to be home alone. I at least have my cat but even living for him is starting to disappear. I hate the Christmas decore. Just a constant reminder of bad memories. It’s been 11 years now and I still get nightmares. I don’t know if I can take another year of this. I’ll never have a wife. I’ll never reach my career goal. I just want to give up.
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depression
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I'm getting married in May next year. I've done the wedding dress shopping thing. 1st 2 shops were a disaster and left me really deflated.
The 3rd shop I go into and try on about 30 dresses. Funnily enough the 1st one gave me my bridal feeling. But I'm aware of my 'impulsiveness' so I kept my mouth shut about it being 'the dress'.
I tried on others and liked about 2. But the 1st one I knew was it. Then we go to the 2nd shop and I try on another 15 dresses. Only 1 left me with a nice feeling. It's classically better for my 'body' as it stands currently. (Classic bride shedding pounds so the little flaws in dress 1 won't be an issue, they're not even really much of an issue now)
Anyway I've had 3 weeks to think about it and decided on dress one. But according to my mother I'm being impulsive and it was the 1st dress I tried on and need to try on more in other shops. Also I didn't say to her it was the one. (I explained why)
But I'm met with well it's expensive and I want you to try on more before making a decision.
Like I've tried on 45-50 dresses already. I don't feel like I'm being that impulsive. But she's paying for it so I can't dismiss her want to try on other dresses but I feel like my opinions and wants are being completely dismissed. I said I didn't want to try on any more just to be a people pleaser to which she responded "never once in your entire life have you ever done anything to please anyone else but yourself". Which a total lie because I do it all the time. Just not as often when I lived at home at like 18. Now I'm 32 and it's all being dismissed. And I just feel like my ADHD is being used against me and I just wanted to vent.
Like for God sake can I not have an opinion because I have adhd?? Fuck off.
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ADHD
|
(Throwaway)
Hey all. first time on the subreddit
i've been looking into things and i'm wondering if i could have ptsd, or if it's just something else. i'm 16 and my psychiatrist told me i have some sort of depression or anxiety disorder but nothing has been diagnosed yet. i ask this because i'm unsure if it's worth getting evaluated for
There are a few reasons why i'm hung up about this. i don't know what a nightmare feels like. i have never gotten a panic attack in my life, just intense anxiety, and i don't know if what i feel are flashbacks or just intrusive thoughts + dissociation. (i dissociate quite often). My trauma all happened online through text so i have no physical sensory experiences to actually connect the event to, i just sort of see a blurry discord screen sometimes or remember words or thoughts
there have been times where i see something that's supposed to be a trigger but i don't feel anything. maybe it's just because i've trained myself to not feel mental pain like that but it scares me because i don't know if i'm just making all of this up. i've been dealing with this for about an entire year now, so it must be *something* but i have no idea what
i'm sorry this turned into a bit of a rant, if you have any questions please ask! thanks
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ptsd
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So I have C-PTSD and get triggered by a lot of things. Yesterday I spent 3 hours actively engaging with a trigger for a school assignment. It's been over 16 hours and I'm still not recovered from that one trigger and I'm still feeling a panic attack, altho slightly more mild than yesterday.
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ptsd
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I went to a psychiatrist a few months ago and got prescribed zoloft and xanax. I stopped going tho because the doctor would keep my mom in the room while asking me if I have any "dark thoughts". I cant have my mom know that I want to die. I told her that Im feeling better and dont need to go to the doctor anymore. She believed me. Im actually feeling worse than I did at that time. Do you know any meds that I can take over the counter? No prescription needed.
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depression
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hi everyone. i was recently told i experience post traumatic stress. although i am being treated as if i have ptsd, i haven’t been formally told i have it (nor have i asked my therapist) so instead i say i experience post traumatic stress. that being said, i also have a bit of a problem with alcohol. i love drinking but always get myself into terrible situations when i drink. my trauma happened while i was very extremely drunk. my therapist has asked if i avoid drinking and parties now since that’s where my trauma happened. yes i get scared it will happen again, but nothing can really deter me from drinking. bad drinking habits run in my family. so out of total curiosity, since i am so devoted to stupid alcohol that i put myself in a similar environment as my trauma, does that mean it is impossible for me to have ptsd?
**i do not want to self diagnose at all, this is just purely curiosity**
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ptsd
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I won't go too much into detail because it'd be long but basically he started being racist, I was stunned by this and just... Couldn't speak to be frank, I didn't know *what* to say, he hasn't seemed the type to be like this, this was truly out of nowhere!
And then he went off about ADHD being a "personality trait" and nothing else and autistic people (or "people with autism" as he put it) are attention seeking -insert slur- that didn't deserve to live and he just went on and on and on and I just fucking sat there, not moving or talking or even blinking the normal amount. What was I supposed to say?! Or do?! What?!
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aspergers
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Here’s the events.
- Saturday: Notice that my meds are getting into the single digits. Make a mental note to call on Monday.
- Monday: Actually remember the mental note! Hurrah! Call and leave a voicemail requesting a refill. Say I have three days left when I actually have five, because my doctor’s office has a record of filling my prescription late, and the pharmacy is closed on weekends.
- Tuesday - Thursday: Radio silence. It’s a busy week.
- Friday, 10AM: Take my last med. Think to myself, “Weird! The pharmacy still hasn’t texted me! I told them to turn that back on last month.”
- Friday, 2PM: Go to the pharmacy. _They have no record of the prescription._ Fuck!! I assure the pharmacist that it’s not her fault.
- Friday, 2:20PM: Get home post errands and immediately call the doctor’s office. “How many do you have left of the Vyvanse?” NONE, because I called on Monday and the pharmacy had no record of them being sent in. “Okay. Well… looking at the record here… they were sent in today at 2PM so they’ll be ready to pick up later today :)”
ARRRRGH!!! I did everything right and I still feel like an idiot!!!! I’m not going to wait until 6pm on a Friday to pick up my meds! Honestly I should have done it Thursday to avoid this situation. What if they had been out of stock?? That’s why I give myself a couple of days of buffer by saying I have fewer pills than I actually do.
I guess they have a record of the last time I’ve called to refill and will not send the prescription in until it’s been exactly 28 days, no matter what. The risk of me selling two (2!!!!!!) pills is TOO GREAT!!! They couldn’t possibly send it in when I ask!
Time to find a new primary care doctor, a task which is both easy and fun to do with ADHD :)
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ADHD
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I(16m) recently moved states, before I moved, I informed my teachers and coaches about my moving situation, they were upset to see me go, but really supportive about my whole situation. I was a bit sad and will, my coach told me that he looks for those who can stay strong during these types of situation. I embraced those words and tried to stay strong, saying goodbye to a few friends. But a week after my transition, I’am feeling sad and dead inside. I try not to look back but I do, and for some reason I get reminded of some random person every day from my old school. Ehh I hate this feeling. To make matters a bit idk worse, my moving situation is still ongoing, my parents are looking for a house or apartment to rent, when there not looking for a house or apartment, we stay at our uncle’s house, and it seems we might spend the Christmas. And that am grateful for, but this gray feeling feels regretful and a bit mad, mad at myself for not doing certain thing. I guess my last day of school felt unfinished yk, maybe I haven’t fully processed my transition idk…
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depression
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I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for the past four years. He’s the first long term relationship I’ve ever been in and I’m the first person he’s ever dated. Lately I’ve been really depressed and my mental state has been plummeting. I think I need to take some time for myself but I don’t know how to tell him in a way that he’ll understand. Most times I try to talk to him about my feelings he doesn’t understand and thinks I’m just being overly emotional. I even tried to break up with him a little over a year ago but he convinced me to stay. I’m afraid if I try to do it again the same thing is gonna happen and I’m going to be stuck in this relationship forever.
I just need time to focus on myself and fix my stupid pointless life but I know he’ll never understand that and I’m afraid he’ll overreact when I try to tell him.
I don’t know what to do I’m so fucking tired and I feel like I’m going insane
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depression
|
I’ve had a rough time of it lately. I’ve been in a bit of a depressive episode I think, but it’s not how it normally is. Emotionally, I feel kind of fine, but I’m just not doing anything. And when I do feel awful, it’s because of the consequences of not doing anything.
Like, I got a temp job at my dream company but I think I’ve burned that bridge because I’ve been working from home and meant to do 20 hours a week, but so like 5. And badly.
And that’s just one part. I’m not showering, going outside. Just laying in bed scrolling. And it’s really gotten me down.
**TLDR/Conclusion:** I thought I was doing nothing all day because of a combination of depression and not managing my ADHD. While it’s certainly related, I think it’s actually more that I am basically addicted to escapism.
Have you struggled with excessive escapism? Have any advice?
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ADHD
|
I say this because it took ME to point out to the psychiatrist, my team in the hospital, my GP, my psychologist, my cognitive behavioural therapist and my addiction counsellor that I might very well have ADHD.
Please don't miscronstrue going to get diagnosed as hoping or looking to get diagnosed.
I went in with all my observations about me in tact and written down. I knew I was different and it took some literature, a nudge from a friend and some serious honesty with myself to pay up and get assessed by a specialist.
I once again emphasise that nobody - not even my family saw it - Only me. Nobody of any certified profession thought about it until I brought it up with them.
It took ME to enlighten the professionals. It took ME to get the referral. And it was ONLY ME who got myself into a position of being diagnosed and subsequently medicated.
For as long as I can remember, my mental health was lead by the professionals. It resulted in a misdiagnosis of bipolar disorder whereby I was subsequently medicated with an antipsychotic for a long term illness which numbed my thoughts and - at times - induced seizures if I was hyper stressed or fatigued.
It numbed my thoughts and deluded me into believing this is now everybody must live.
I went down a drug fuelled rabbit hole, became addicted and reliant on psychoactive drugs which was a recipe for disaster with me being an epileptic already on anti psychotics. It resulted in me being checked into psychiatric care where I was deemed "phenomenally complex" - a bipolar epileptic on an anti psychotic who was poly drugging and had a pretty poor relationship with alcohol - and somehow also graduated the most difficult college course in the college he went to (I guess when you think how you're living is normal, you step up and work harder despite the rampant emotional cost).
When I was eventually taken off the antipsychotic I chose sobriety which was its own challenge. I can now happily say that I'm no longer misdiagnosed nor on that awful tablet and I've been sober for 460+ days (according to my stay sober app; that means I'm 25% of the way to 5 years sobriety and I've saved the best part of 4,000. In my current financial situation I could now comfortable pay off my car loan).
I crawled through, as Morgan Freeman put it, 500 yards of shit and was the only man to come out clean the other end".
It relied on therapists in psychiatric care that actually gave a shit. From there on out, it relied on me. I stayed honest with who I was because sobriety gave me the clarity of mind to do so.
But nobody - and I mean nobody - saw the ADHD signs and symptoms but me.
I'm 30 years old. I'm sober. I'm not bipolar. I struggle with impulsivities and emotional regulation. I'm now medicated for ADHD.
I have never looked back. It has changed my life, and it was me who allowed that to happen.
**Be honest with yourself and don't let somebody else tell you, in their own flowery roundabout way, that they know you better than you know yourself.**
Hope everybody has a nice Monday. ❤️
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ADHD
|
I totally dont tolerate psych meds, i explode each time being on it.
What can i do ?
I tried all the bench of medication and each time its either : Severe constipation, severe diarhea, no results etc.
I feel completely lost
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OCD
|
DUNE is already one of my favorite movies. I started reading the book because the movie was so good, and there are even more connections.
It's about the creation of humans. What really goes into a human and makes them who they are. Thousands of years of crossing bloodlines, accumulation of culture and history, constantly culminating in every new human. This movie glorifies the development of a human coming of age, and an entire empire being spent for that human's potential.
It's all huge cosmic forces shaping humans. Ancient history, planets and ecology, wars and beasts and culture, training, philosophy and religion, relationships, politics, chemistry, psychology. The witches have their plans that infect everything. You see forces converging at every instant. It's beautiful.
I watched the movie a bunch of times and I'm half way through the book. I love finding a piece of art that's so incredibly absorbing. It stimulates on so many levels.
There are clear Existentialist ideas built into the story. Nietzsche's self-overcoming in the trial with the witch early in the movie (and constantly throughout). The interplay of future and past to constantly create an unexpected present. The incredibly heavy consequences which are the true judge of behavior (rather than abstract morals or afterlife).
Plus it's visually stunning. Very powerful.
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aspergers
|
This was prompted by multiple breakdowns and panic attacks witnessed by my discord friends. They told me I needed to seek therapy, which I thankfully started doing so. I've been putting it off for years now. After some introspection, I realized I might have OCD, like my uncle.
Main difference is that his manifests in obsessive organization iirc while mine, looking at my past and current behaviors, manifests in me worrying that I made someone mad, that people hate me, that people on the internet are out to get me and cancel me and then ruin my irl life... things like that that results in me near constantly seeking reassurance via dms or doomscrolling as well as endlessly apologizing and making whatever situation I'm in worse. It's even manifested in me obsessing over the book of Revelations when I was still religious in early college, and this resulted in numerous anxiety episodes and a panic attack in late 2012 and early 2013, plus a similar anxiety episode in the March 11, 2011 doomsday prediction that left me staying up until midnight to make sure the world wasn't ending.
What's worse is that I've been partaking in fandoms on tumblr over the course of 7 years to the point where I ended up addicted to scrolling through social media, and I had to delete Tumblr, Twitter, and Discord as a result of these sites' effects on my mental state, triggering these obsessive anxiety ridden thoughts and all. It's way too easy to doomscroll through fandom blogs and tags and make my symptoms worse.
I'm amazed at the amount of people having similar issues as me. I never really had a way to describe how I was feeling until now other than the fact I had anxiety issues if not an outright anxiety disorder. My therapy assessment is early next month and I'll make sure to mention this to the therapist.
So... guess I'm starting my journey to getting better after all these years.
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OCD
|
Obviously procedures and tests aren’t the same everywhere, but I remember there was one where the psychiatrist gave me 4 white and red blocks. Some sides were half red half white, some were just red, some were just white. She gave me a picture to replicate on the blocks. At the end she gave me a picture which was much larger than what the blocks could create and had too many edges. When I said it was impossible she said to just keep trying and I did until I just told her I gave up. To this day I cannot figure out what the “correct” way to do this was can someone explain?
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aspergers
|
For anyone else out there who has Kaiser Permanente for health coverage you already know the bullshit I'm having to deal with. For those who don't know: these jerks have essentially gutted their entire psychiatry dept. for some bullshit sampler platter that combines various forms of therapy. For me at least It's some multi-disciplinary fuckery that centers around some "action plan." I just want to get some help, and while I understand there is a give/get when it comes to getting help as I don't want to add a bunch of homework to my already busy day.
Supposedly they have referrals to outside services but I am getting nowhere with them on this, the triage/intake person is not calling me back, and I know that even when that happens it's going to take weeks, possibly months to speak to someone. It seems like the help I need NOW keeps getting punted down the road. Curious to hear from others with any similar experience, but mostly it feels good to vent. At the very least I'd hope to steer people away from KP because they are a milquetoast provider with absolute dogshit mental health services.
I feel really defeated by this nonsense.
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depression
|
I don't know how to organize this, so I'm going to just start typing. I'm currently 17 (I'll turn 18 in March), it's my senior year of high school, I'm having a mental crisis, and I don't know what to do anymore, so I'm going to post this on Reddit in the hope that I might somehow find something helpful.
For the last year or so I've been worried about what's going to happen to me after highschool. Now that I'm approaching the second semester of my senior year, I'm starting to realize how screwed I am.
Honestly I can barely wrap my head around the idea of having a job and fending for myself as an adult. I can barely handle things on my own now. It takes me hours and hours to finish simple homework assignments because I can't focus. I find myself literally staring at assignments for hours not getting anything done. To top it off I've been having these bizarre mood swings that are triggered at the drop of a hat. One second I'm on top of the world, super social, and really hyper. And then an hour later I'm having an anxiety attack because of a homework assignment or because I ran out of time to workout for the second day in a row. None of it makes sense but I can't control it. I've been having these anxiety attacks every few days recently and I hate it because my brain shuts down and I can't process anything that's happening.
I also feel horrible because of how much stress I'm putting my Mom through. She's so endlessly helpful and supportive but I still have the audacity to get pissed at her when I can't control myself.
I've had bad anxiety for as long as I can remember (maybe it is related to my ADHD) but the anxiety I've been having recently is worse than anything I've experienced before and I feel like I'm losing control. The only time I feel completely relaxed is when I'm spending time with friends.
I've been seeing an executive function coach since the beginning of the school year but I feel like it's going no where. I thought it was helping and I was getting more organized a few weeks into the school year but then as school got more intense it just kind of collapsed and I can't get myself to even try anymore. The only thing that's been even a little helpful recently is my Adderall prescription. I recently switched from 25 mg of Focalin to 15 mg of Adderall and it seems to be positively impacting my mood, but as soon as it wears off I'm fucked.
A few months ago I decided that I need to take a gap year. My plan is to get a job for the first 3-4 months, save up some money, and then travel and take some time to try to understand myself. The only problem with the plan is that I don't know if I'm going to have people to travel with. I don't want to travel by myself. I know that alot of people would probably love solo road trips but for me, it would be horribly boring and stressful to travel alone.
I know I want to go to college at some point but I don't know what I want career wise so I have no college plan. I desperately want to do something that makes me happy, but all that makes me happy right now is listening to music, working out, hanging out with friends, and being outdoors, none of which really lend themselves to a career path.
I get really anxious about posting anything on the internet so I'm going to post this quickly before I overthink it and decide not to. It's already way longer than I thought it would be.
Even if nobody reads this, it was nice to type out all the thoughts that have been racing around in my head
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ADHD
|
So this is my first job. My new workplace uses something called the scrum board and sprint weekly. It's where you enter alllll the tasks for the week in a rapid logging sprint and then it has an estimated time and actual time it took. I find this incredibly difficult to keep up with and somewhat toxic too.
I always meet deadlines because I'm anxious, imposter syndrome blah blah. But my inattentiveness and my easily distracted nature means I don't start something and only take an hour to finish it. It may take me 3 hours to do the same task. And I can't log that here.
I find it toxic because lol it's a mental healthcare organisations and I didn't expect to have such a tightly scheduled and watched experience at work. I'm so depressed every day and demotivated.
My therapist said learn to game the system. Any advice or support you can offer me?
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ADHD
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As a little bit of background, I don't have a diagnosis of PTSD but I believe I have a lot of the symptoms. I was psychologically & emotionally abused by my ex for nearly 3 years and was also sexually assaulted by them. I get nightmares about things that happened and get panic attacks triggered by various things (included small things like people speaking in a certain tone or just anger in general). I'm struggling with depression at the moment also (have had diagnosed depression for many years).
Today I was making my way to work as usual but before I even took my seat on the bus I started having a panic attack. A person who I could not see entirely instantly reminded me of my ex. The hair, the clothes, the glasses. My ex, so far as I know, lives in a different city these days so it's unlikely it was them but that didn't stop me panicking. I tried to get a better look at them so I could reassure myself it was a different person but that just made it worse as I still couldn't see their whole face and the more I looked the more it looked like the person I fear, right down to the bitten fingernails. I can't shake this panic that the person was in fact my ex even though logically I know it can't have been. I'm just freaking out right now.
I don't know what the point of my post is but I don't feel as though I can talk to anyone IRL right now as my fiance is struggling with his own depression (very severe to the point of suicidal ideation/planning and self harm) so I don't want to burden him with anything else and I just need to get this out.
TLDR : I don't have a diagnosis of PTSD but think I may have C-PTSD. I saw someone who I thought my abusive ex on the bus today and I've been having attacks all day. I needed to vent.
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ptsd
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This may sound like a really dumb question, but I don't get it. I may never see my abuser again. And yet, I can't stop thinking about what he did to me, and want to die almost every day. Shouldn't I be happy that it's over?
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ptsd
|
One of my strategies to calm myself down is to just think in my head and kinda talk to myself to come to terms. But theirs so much stuff going on I can’t even do that anymore without getting distracted with an instrusive thought or a compulsion. I start talking to myself and then switch to something completely different and its just exhausting. I have started new medication that should help with this but holt f*ck it’s exhausting.
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OCD
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I was in a troubled youth treatment center for 8 months when I was 16, I was talking to my friend who was there for 14 months, we were talking about how we miss being there in a fucked up sort of way, is this normal? We both have very bad PTSD from this, so we are unsure if this is common or not?
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ptsd
|
Hello all!
Recently I started looking around my local area for a ADHD group that meets and came up with nothing. This was hugely disappointing to me as I really would like to meetup and have discussions with fellow ADHDers.
Well I thought about it a bit and decided, if no one else is gonna do it I might as well host it myself! "Be the change you want to see" and all that.
Anyways, I have zero experience hosting events or going to support groups but I have a lot of passion for helping my community and being that place for others looking for support as well. Also I have hyperfocus on my side when it comes to research!
So while I'm trying to do a lot of research, I'm reaching out here to see if anyone has any good tips for hosting one or maybe in their experience what they enjoyed most going to them?
I created a meetup group already and intend on creating a Facebook group and I will be attending a online group next week where I can take some notes on structure and maybe questions. Already put in a request for a meeting room at my local library so hopefully they get back to me soon as well.
Any additional info would be immensely helpful!
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ADHD
|
Hey everyone, first, I am by no means 100% saying I have OCD. I'd just like to know a little bit more about some of your experiences and get some input on what I have. What really made me start looking at OCD is when I started reading about the excessive cleanliness stereotype was absolutely not a symptom that translates from person to person.
Let me get into what I have been dealing with. I have had recurring and unwanted thoughts about certain things (things like me getting hurt, hurting somebody I love, me being in danger or making a fool of myself), I get annoyed very easily by my family members, things like hearing the sounds of their chewing or if someone's laugh is a certain octave I cringe and get goosebumps. I also have to dress certain ways and although I don't need to do tasks at specific times, I do have time frames and schedules that I tell myself I have to do a task by this time or something bad will happen.
I am 19 and in college, again I don't want to be someone who assumes they have OCD, I would just really appreciate some input. Thank you for anyone who takes the time to read this and respond.
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OCD
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I was in an abusive relationship which i managed to escape. Stayed numb for about two years. Found an amazing person now, I find myself struggling a lot, but I’ve been healing. I feel somewhere i want a toxic relationship, Like the intensity of it. Is it normal. Fuck idk anything at this point. I’ve been working so hard to heal, it keeps on getting more confusing. I’m on meds so I don’t have major depressive or anxiety episode.
I want my bf to fight with me, and i feel we would get so much more close to each other. He is a very calm person who never even raises his voice. I am getting fucked up here.
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ptsd
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[https://www.thenation.com/article/society/parenting-disability-down-syndrome/](https://www.thenation.com/article/society/parenting-disability-down-syndrome/)
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aspergers
|
So for context I was diagnosed at a very early age and put on medication Iv always hated medication and what it did to me Iv tried Ritalin Vyvanse Adderall Stratera (I don’t really remember how to spell the last one) but either way I just never liked meds and noticed growing up my friends who also have adhd didn’t like meds either once I came to this sub I realize a lot of ahdhers really love there medication I just want to see the ratio of medicated to I medicated and your reason why you do or don’t take medication tldr do you take meds yes or no and why
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ADHD
|
Hi! I have been diagnosed with PTSD for about a year now and I went untreated for the longest part of my life. My partner has been very helpful during this period of my life. He has been taking me to therapy, he has been reading up on PTSD, working out with me. I wake him up in the middle of the night when I really feel like I need to talk and he just gets it, even if he has an early morning. Even when I get really snappy, he says things like: ''I know it's not you talking, it's a symptom so I'm not going to react negatively to your behavior.''
In short, I want to show him that I appreciate him but I have no idea how or what I should do. Have any of you shown your supporting family, partner or friends appreciation in some way? I get tired really fast, mentally and physically so I can't do much but I just want to do something.
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ptsd
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me and my gf are both girls and weve been together for 2 and a half years and shes the absolute love of my life and id do anything for her. being faithful and treating her well are the most important things to me ever and i could never think badly of her even when im really angry. but my ocd is centered around our relationship and it tries to ruin anything and everything it gets its hands on.
it makes up stuff, says that i thought mean things about her, creates fake events that lead to me being scared that i did something bad, says that im unfaithful, etc. it hurts more than anything because i love my gf to bits. ive had my ocd decently under control but i worry that it will flare up a lot more again. ive talked with her so much about my worries and shes so kind and accepting and super chill about everything and she just always tells me to not worry about it. but i wish my ocd would attack something else
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OCD
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I’ve been diagnosed with OCD, but no therapists or psychiatrists I’ve had are skilled in specifically OCD and thus can’t give me a subtype, and I feel like I’m crazy and the only one with my symptoms. I obsess over physical movements… Specifically, I always feel like I have to blink, wiggle my ear, or swallow or I am extremely uncomfortable, and it gives me serious headaches because I do these things all day. Does anybody know about these symptoms/if they fit a subtype and any advice if you have it?
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OCD
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All the places I’ve called said they weren’t taking ppl, work pick up the damn phone, or don’t take my insurance and I’m crying on the inside. Idk what to do, this is so stressful. I’ve dropped community college bc I’m so fucking bad with pressure and stuff that I could barely pass a class. Idk what to do
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ADHD
|
TW: suicidal episodes, descriptions of them, etc
So I have suicidal thoughts every day. Always have since like 1st grade (for reference I would have graduated in 2017 but I failed the 10th grade 3 times and gave up) and I used to be able to mostly ignore them. (I had a couple of attempts but that's like one attempt for every 4000000000000 thoughts so. Pretty good) but the last couple of months have been impossible. I get into a mode where *all I want* is to die. Like I have physically fought people to get my pills from them. It's bad. But when it's not immediately happening, I just feel regular depressed. I go into self destruct mode like every other time I get upset lately. (As opposed to like once or twice a year the past couple years)
My wife's family is kicking us out of our house because of the noise. My wife is looking for more work but I can't do shit (I am disabled and fucking hate it it's part of why I want to die) and I don't know what will happen if someone in our apartment building if we can find one hears me screaming and crying and calls the police. (Some of my PTSD is because ACAB and also we're both trans and have a even higher than normal "wellness check" fatality)
Will this ever stop?? I feel totally out of control and don't even remember all of what I do in these episodes. I hit and kick and bite when threatened. I just feel like the most colossal piece of shit because I just make my wife's life harder and I can't even fucking contribute even when I'm not in an episode. I don't know what to do all I feel is hurt and shame and I just want it to be over. An anniversary of something bad is coming up and maybe that explains some of it but it's never been this bad help.
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ptsd
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20 year old male hear from Melbourne Australia. I've always found when I've tried to connect with other people, they usually never seem to be very reciprocal when it comes to communication such as texting. This has usually led to the friendship disintegrating in the end. Not due to a fallout or a fight or anything. Just fading into the abyss. I don't know why most people are non-reciprocal towards me? It seems to me that most people in their late teens and early 20s seem to be very superficial, shallow, fake and narcissistic. I'm not saying that everyone in my age group is like that! It's probably just my experience. I've also found when anyone or "literally" everyone who gives me advice for where to meet new people. Everyone literally gives me the exact same responses. It's like their a hivemind or are NPCs or something. They always suggest that I join a group or a club or a Meetup. None of that shit interests me! No one in this world seems to think outside the box and it's really frustrating! I've had a bad experience dealing with other people such as ghosting, being rejected and being excluded from group conversations. I've made the decision to just give up and go with the flow since I can't really trust people anymore.
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aspergers
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This works for me, could help you too.
Need to find the motivation to clean?
Rearrange your furniture or decide to change the theme of a room.
I’ve learnt that just cleaning to clean is hard for me, but if I have a goal that can only get done if I clean the area or item first, I don’t even think about it while doing it because I’m motivated to move that table or that rug, and cleaning the table top to get it done is now a means to an end.
People like me with ADHD find boring jobs hard because of the “what’s the point it will just get dirty again?” or “why make my bed if I’m going to sleep in it tonight?”
If you trick yourself into thinking the cleaning or any task for that matter, is in the way of you getting done something else you’re excited to do, the executive function will work in your favour.
Let me know your thoughts and if this is also something you have discovered.
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ADHD
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This is super strange. My Wellbutrin was upped to 300 mg/ day and I love it. I’m not eating constantly and I have more energy. But after a couple of days I kind of just stopped and looked around and realized… it’s been a few days since I’ve had an intrusive thought. I used to have them daily, to the point where I’d try my best to ignore them or they would loom over me like some spooky irritating version of a shoulder ghost. But then I realized, it’s been at least a few days since ive had anything off the wall just pop into my head. I know this sounds weird but I feel kind of empty? I don’t think my brain has ever been this quiet before? Just weird.
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OCD
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I know for sure that I have ADHD-PI and Seasonal Affective Disorder, but both are undiagnosed. there's just no way I don't both of those because of my symptoms I have been keeping track of for about 6 months, and I have my first therapy appointment in years tomorrow.
I have always struggled in school, but now I'm in my senior year of highschool and I need to make everything up from what I failed in my previous years. I did okay in the first couple months since the weather has been nice, but now that winter is rolling in and the SAD is beginning I can't even bring myself to go to school as of late.
I can't get out of bed, so I tried doing my classes online- but my brain yells at me to stop and do something else. i just can't focus.
it's always been like this, my room constantly in disaster- and when it's like that it basically doubles my ability to not concentrate. it really sucks to live like this and I want to good in school but my brain won't let me.
so here's the question: how fast could I get medicated? i feel like it is extremely urgent and if I don't get medicated within the next week or so school will be too overwhelming and I'll drop out. when I go to my first therapy appointment tomorrow, is there a way I can get medicated right away so I can save myself before it's too late? or will I have to do a few more sessions before they can diagnose me and get me medicated?
I was wondering if I tell them how dire my situation is they'll medicate me? I'm also scared of them thinking I'm just a druggie that wants meds but I am truly suffering.
TLDR my first therapy appointment is tomorrow, and if I don't get medicated I feel like I'm gonna drop out of highschool, so is there a way to get diagnosed with ADHD and get medicated for it in the first session?
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ADHD
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I have PTSD because of years of multiple abuse. Broke up with my abusive ex boyfriend one year ago, follow a therapy for one year, survived strong form of covid, had to cut off my abusive family two months ago. Now, I have a lot of physical symptoms, chronic pain and so on...
And I met a man, a painter, two months ago while doing a workaway, and we have a relationship since, and I live with him and work for him at the same time. He's a wonderful soul, really understanding. But I'm sometimes afraid. I'm not ready for a relationship. I'm so afraid of losing myself again. It can be just small triggers like he tells me I'm a special women, really intelligent and beautiful but for one week he repeated that he wanted me to cut my hair because it will be more inspiring for his paintings. I told him that I love my long messy hair and he said "I like everything about you except the lenght of your hair." So, I accepted to cut my hair to please him. I was a bit fed up with the insistance. And then after the hair was done, he said "it's more like you now." I was so triggered because for all my life I was controlled. And I start to be angry..and he said you are so intolerant for little things...
But most of the Time, he is really helpful, listen to me, and respect my need for space and dont judge me if I cry. But this thing made me feel triggered. And he is really into spiritual things, vegan, meditation, manifestation, present moment nanaana...
Even if sometimes he has a point, and good advices, sometimes I'm fed up with him saying "just be happy, move on, forget the past, forgive, just be in the present, it's easy, when you shut down it's just you from the past, stop living in the past.." when I have triggers he says "but stop complaining you are waring me down, why do you always think of the past, I dont want to control you, I'm not people"
I don't know, he is really amazing and kind, but this spiritual bullshit, "you choose your parents...You choose your destiny, stop thinking of the past..." it's gets on my nerves. If it was that easy. Fuck. I can't stand being too close to someone anymore. What do you think?
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ptsd
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I am so sad and lonely that i got a crush on an anime charakter (Asuna from SAO). Shes a really lovely girl and i just cant forget her... my brain always reminds me of her and this keeps making me sad af. Any recommendations :/
Ik its weird as hell but its the truth
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depression
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Without realizing it, I've been struggling with OCD my entire life. I've been concerned about things being toxic and killing me, being impaled while driving, but none of them quite caused anxiety quite like my POCD which I initially triggered maybe a month ago. as of 10 days ago, I was medicated and diagnosed with OCD. I felt so alone in that 1 or 2 week period, the anxiety was constant and extreme, and I felt so disgusting, but as I educated myself and received help, I've been able to fight off panic attacks, view media more freely, and I'm feeling good. Whether or not this will last, I don't know/ I do know everything will be okay in due time with the proper treatment, though, even for everyone reading this, suffering as well. :)
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OCD
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long story short when I was 14-15 I had stage 3 blood cancer and 4 months of chemo, now in my 20s and cancer free but mentally... I pretended to feel okay around most people but didn't process anything well at all at the time. I did not deal well with going from representing my school in sport to being bed bound and the brain fog and pains etc. and i felt like i had no one to genuinely talk to about how I was doing because I hated seeing my parents worry. I've tried talking to many therapists/mental health professionals (told once by my GP that there was nothing they could do to help me lol fuck him) and triggered by the onset of lockdown I reached out to someone at uni who did a mental health assessment and diagnosed me with PTSD. I found myself getting better over this year by talking about it more with people online mostly. I am very lucky to have had access to this professional and get a diagnosis which has helped me focus on how to get better, and lucky to be here at all. I don't see anyone professionally now I graduated from uni. I get nightmares nearly every night about my time in hospital and how I was then, chest pain from anxiety, and get leg pains which I'm sure are because of the chemo.
my partner of 6+ years father got diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer and of course it is not a good prognosis. its been a huge shock as he just went in for a smaller issue we thought wouldnt be anything major and then two weeks later we are all in pure shock. i dont think my partner or his mam has processed it yet and his dad will start radiotherapy and then chemo next year. it's definitely not about me, I want to support them best I can but hearing his dad talk about everything and my boyfriend upset, everything's been triggering for me and I've been feeling awful. I usually go to my partner for support but I dont want to upset him further, make him worry about me, and make this situation about me. I don't think I'm looking for exact advice so to say, I don't know what I'm really looking for. I just had to type this out somewhere because Im so angry that I have been lucky but this man who accepted me (many people here are racist and we are an interracial couple - his parents are actively anti racist and the most amazing people I consider family) has basically been condemned to death . I already know so many whove died from cancer . he talked about his funeral and dying and having a year left max to live and I know I can't do much but I just wish I could do more. I texted him to see how he was and to extend my support and a lot of what he said resonated with me and was a bit triggering . I don't know how to describe it but I want to keep talking and supporting but its hurting me but I have to because I know how lonely it is . I have to keep being there for my boyfriend and his family when he begins treatment but I almost wish I didnt have to. I know thats horrible to say but its opening up unhealed trauma and I wish I could avoid it all. My dad is going for an emergency 2 week follow up (NHS targets stuff) because they think he has prostate cancer too tomorrow. It's all so much and I dont think I could cope if he was any more sick than he already is still . I usually avoid any mention of cancer (avoid tv, have blocking filters etc on my phone/laptop, now I avoid hospitals/drs etc) but I cant now
I think this is mostly just a venting post. i know I sound selfish at points but I ask please don't judge me because I know yous will understand the mental pain
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ptsd
|
When a person is authentically kind to me, it feels almost ecstatic. It can be as simple as a stranger's genuine smile and wave in response to my own attempt to communicate a greeting. It is always uplifting, and has an emotional force equal in magnitude to the pangs of being hurt, even though an observer probably wouldn't deduce any of those emotions from me. Is this familiar to anyone?
Edit: Yeah, I didn't clarify, it doesn't happen often at all. Mostly I get blank stares, no reaction, or negativity if I try to make a normal social greeting to someone, and that always feels like crap. But when it does happen that someone is kind, or even just normal to me, it's really uplifting, and in an exaggerated way.
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aspergers
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I’ve been triggered again by the things I own being scratched. I have been obsessed and triggered by this since May about those things because there was some traumas happening around that time which affected me. I am so careful that my electronics and other things don’t get scratched but certain things that have screens or made of plastic still end up scratched. I’m not rough with those things and I don’t understand why those things would still end up scratched. When I see scratches I start to panic because even the smallest or biggest scratch is noticeable to me and doesn’t look right because it looks sloppy and incomplete . I can feel my heart racing and my head starts to hurt. I start to obsessively get thoughts and images of the scratches in my mind of what those things looked without scratches. I wish I could figure out how to remove the scratches but I don’t know how even though there are hacks online on how to remove scratches but I dint want the scratches to end getting worse. I just wish I had a second chance to have those things back to their original form without the scratches, especially since I’m so responsible with taking care of those things. If I stop obsessing and being triggered by scratches, is it possible for the scratches to go away naturally on their own or are those scratches still going to be on my things permanently?
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OCD
|
So I have OCD and lately I have been obsessing with schizophrenia. I am very afraid of developing / having schizophrenia. I read internet articles about symptoms all day. I am also looking for symptoms in myself all day. Whenever I see something I find strange I take a picture of it with my phone to make sure I am not hallucinating. Or whenever there is a weird sound I record it with my phone for the same reason. But sometimes I hear some sounds that only last 1 second. They could come from the neighbours or something, I guess, but I cant record those so I am getting very anxious after hearing such things. Today it was hot so I turned on my fan, and there was a loud white background noise in my room from the fan. I was anxious in that time and looking for symptoms, and I think I heard a weird noise like a human voice, but I could not tell exactly. So am I just very anxious for no reason or could I have schizophrenia? Anybody else has this fear?
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OCD
|
cw: parental abuse implication, porn mention
i'm a 20 going on 21 year old man and i'm really embarrassed to admit this, but whenever there's a sex scene in a movie or even a really raunchy one (like in the lewd rom-coms, y'know? i can't explain it), i feel really... weird, like i want to crawl out of my skin.
my parents like unwinding in the evenings with netflix and hulu, which is totally cool and natural-- but they always seem to gravitate to these kinds of movies. (both of them being sexual in front of me, my father in particular, is a separate issue that i won't get into here, mostly for the sake of brevity) my mom likes horror movies, and a lot of them have some pretty weird/fucked up sexual scenes. it's kind of a nightmare living in the same house as two people who always blare movies like this, if i'm being honest.
i also have a hard time watching porn because of this. this wasn't really a problem until earlier this year, and it doesn't really affect me as negatively as the stuff i mentioned in the previous paragraph, but i still thought it was worth mentioning.
something about watching people be sexual with each other just makes me feel gross all over.
edit: forgot to mention that i don't care about sex jokes or sexual lyrics in music, nor do i consider myself an asexual. it's just the visuals that i'm not a fan of.
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ptsd
|
My ex left me to focus on University in September. Since then I have been too anxious to step foot in our bedroom. I've been sleeping on the sofa in the living room since.
She had nothing to do with my ptsd since I've been living undiagnosed with it for 3 years before we met. She did help me with it since she was the only person I could open up to about it. I don't understand why seeing our old room (now just my room) is so triggering for me.
I had to get this off my chest. Thank you r/ptsd for being a safe place where I can.
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ptsd
|
Today I went to my first therapy session and she said that she thinks I do have OCD. I've been so worried the past month that I've been lying about everything so I'm definitely relieved now. And the therapy session itself wasn't as bad as I thought it would be!
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OCD
|
How do you guys deal with thoughts that you just can't let go. My therapist basically just reiterates you have to acknowledge the thought and learn to ignore or see through it for almost everything. I've heard similar things with mediation and mindfulness. It's much easier to say then do.
I think I basically always have some kind of intrusive or unhealthy thought. I would have to keep constant concentration on everything to avoid the thoughts. Ironically, once I was told I may have OCD, I kind of obsessed over my thoughts. Once any idea gets in my head, it never leaves until I sleep.
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aspergers
|
Its weird to say but... I feel fine for once. The last 4 months has been an absolute hell for my mind. But yesterday and today? I felt good. Somehow. Only 4 days ago was i ready to almost end it. But now i feel fine. Its so strange. I cant explain it.
I hope this feeling lasts a while. Or possibly a lifetime. Cause i feel good.
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depression
|
I was diagnosed with PTSD a few months ago after losing my best friend last year and alot of other issues (also have severe OCD as well, which causes me a-lot of self doubt about my disorder, which is a whole other issue in itself.)
Ive been taking prazosin, and for the first few weeks it worked, but now i feel like dreams and nightmares are creeping in.
I wake up in fear alot, but generally don’t wake up screaming, what really scares me about sleep is that whenever im in the nightmare, im aware of it, but not fully. I feel trapped, and that sensation of being cornered stays with me for what feels like hours. Its horrifying and I don’t want that to come back. Can anyone else relate? If so what do you do?
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ptsd
|
TL;DR: Medication (Adderall XR) has made my least favorite part of my job tolerable.
So, I'm officially the bookkeeper for a small church, although in practice I do a lot of other stuff, too - minor maintenance, yardwork, stock and run the food pantry, field calls for rent and utility assistance, etc. It's good most of the time. I can switch tasks a lot during the day, take a walk around the building if I need to, go run errands or do more physical/active things if I'm feeling restless. Super flexible hours, with understanding coworkers, who don't mind if I need to take a mental health day (and I do, sometimes). I can even bring my kids when they're not in school.
There is one thing I don't like, though, and that's late December - early January, when I have to send out tax receipts to everybody who's sent in donations or contributions to the various causes and people we do banking for (thankfully, I can do a summary donation statement for each person rather than for individual payments). Altogether, I prepare about 300 receipts every year and have to physically mail about 200 of those and email signed PDFs to another 50. It's this horrible combination of "boring" and "requires attention to detail" and I'm always at the mercy at how careful I was inputting check data throughout the year (I often have to pull up the scans I made of deposits to double-check amounts, names, and check numbers). This all happens at the same time of the year that I need to send out W2s and 1099s and file the church stuff with the IRS and Soc Sec, as well as make sure our accounts are balanced before I close out the calendar year in the software. It's always very stressful and I hate it, and normally procrastinate and agonize over it until I'm almost out of time and people are complaining.
In some ways, this year is going to be worse, as we have to migrate all of our data to new software in January, which I am already worried about, *however*...I started Adderall two months ago. And I've already done a quarter of my receipts. This is something that I can *do* now, with no sweat. Medication hasn't been a miracle cure, and I'm not even sure if I'm going to be able to stick with Adderall in the long term, but it is helping me with this, right now.
So Merry Christmas to me. :) Just wanted to share.
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ADHD
|
Hey, so, I'm 16M and I think I struggle with POCD. I actually just opened up to my mom about depression and suicide yesterday, though I did not mention this part. I have more problems than just POCD anyway, so treating those will probably still help. Anyways, I opened up to my mom, and I opened up more to my friends (pretty much everyone in my school or at least my friend group is diagnosed with/strongly seems to have depression or a mental illness of some sort). I've been quite open to them in the past, and they've never been judgmental because we share the same struggles. Now I have this compulsion to reveal this deepest, darkest secret of mine. Does anyone have experience with this? Is it a good idea? I eventually wanna get help for this part but I'm a minor so I'd eventually need to tell my parents if I need help. I also (will soon) have a therapist, would it be a good idea to ask them about this? Do you think they'd tell my parents?
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OCD
|
This happened Thanksgiving morning.
My initial post was removed because it didn’t meet the 300 character requirement, which is a strange requirement for people that can’t retain more than a couple lines at a time.
Anyhow. I didn’t take my medicine and I couldn’t focus long enough to even cook bacon.
It really bummed me out.
I’m 40 years old and my ADHD seems to get worse with time.
I’m concerned that one day it will be too dangerous for me to even cook.
I hope this is 300 characters.
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ADHD
|
I noticed after a few rages throughout the day due to my PTSD I'm starting to get frightening tension headaches in my sleep that aren't really controlled and it's in a random nightmare at a random time while it happens has anyone else also had this problem?
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ptsd
|
I’ve suffered from contamination OCD for about two years now, to the point I can’t even type out the thing I’m afraid of. I obsessively wash my hands until they split, wash my body until it is raw (showering multiple times a day) and am afraid of touching many things around me, to the point my boyfriend has to help me complete everyday tasks like laundry. I’ve been too scared to get help as I was worried my future career options could be compromised. When looking online there didnt seem to be a clear consensus on whether it would have much impact or not, people seemed undecided. My fear is that due to my compulsions they would see me as unfit to care for patients as I would be too scared to go near them.... I’ve started medication for OCD however have not yet been referred to a psychologist or therapy.
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OCD
|
Just got my first antidepressant medication (yay!) and I’ve never had any prescription before that’s not ADHD related and YOU CAN GET MORE THAN 30 PILL OF SOMETHING WHAT?! THEY GAVE ME 100 OF 50mg DOSES FOR MY XANAX GENERIC PILLS AND IT FEELS WRONG SO HAVE SO MANY PILLS IN THE SAME BOTTLE
AND IT COMES WITH 3 REFILLS.
Also I was prescribed the antidepressants after a half hour video appointment with a doc I’ve never met before and I got it that day within the hour, yet I’m two weeks into therapy and still haven’t been able to get access to an adhd prescription yet and my doc didn’t know she needed to be the one to prescribe it (she’s new to my insurance company)
I understand that like there’s the whole thing about adhd meds being addictive but I still have like half of my old prescription because I didn’t like the way it affected my anxiety like yikes man aren’t there other ways to track this stuff now it’s ridiculous.
(Also not sure how to tag this- not really a question I just wanted to spark a discussion more)
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ADHD
|
Im a guy in gr 12 and for the past year I have just felt nonstop depressed unless I have friends distracting me from all my thoughts.
A little while ago I made a huge mistake, I broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years because she also deals with depression and stuff. I was being selfish and thought that her problems made mine worse so i broke up with her.
Right after we broke up I starting talking to another girl and it made me feel sorta happy again but that faded pretty quickly from all the guilt and sadness of losing my ex. Only after I was with another girl I realized how much my ex helped me and mattered to me.
Now I am with this girl and she is someone ive always known and is fun to be around but I dont wanna drag her down with my sadness and moodiness. Its gotten bad enough that she has been noticing and it gets even worse from seeing my ex hanging out with some of my guy friends.
One of my best friends said I should try taking a break for myself since making other people feel bad makes me even worse. Ive really been thinking about just tryna focus on my self and not date anyone but idk if thats the right choice or not as I already regret breaking up with my ex.
|
depression
|
It’s not exactly the plan, but I’ve been more impulsive, wreckless, I mean this is the worst I’ve ever felt and yet life is just supposed to continue, fucking hell man, didn’t even sleep tonight and I feel shitty, but I still did it because I felt like it, seriously?!? I don’t know how much longer I can seriously put up with this or atleast keep it as my problem and no one elses… The self harm, the suicidal thoughts, the constant lingering shittiness, the minor drug use I just can’t anymore
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depression
|
I have a close friend who struggles with ocd and with all of the misconception around this illness I'm having trouble figuring out how to help. So if anyone has any advice please tell me. I just want the make her comfortable and to help make this as easy as possible. (I'm really sorry if any language I used was offensive in any way, I really don't know much about this.)
|
OCD
|
I made efforts to develop new habits and it wasn't enough to hack it. I'm so angry and sad, same time every single year. Why does a part of me literally die every November?
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depression
|
Winter time is generally not a good time because of my trauma and I keep getting urges to just change something. For a while I constantly dyed my hair and cut it often to satisfy my impulses but I can’t dye it due to my job and I’ve been trying really hard to grow my hair out a bit so I don’t want to cut it.
I know that the urges come from wanting a sense of control but acknowledging where it’s coming from isn’t enough to nullify the urges.
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ptsd
|
I have been taking Concerta 54mg for a long time now (probably more than 10 years) and I feel like the effects it had to help me focus are decreasing rapidly.
The situation I am in does not play in my favour. I am a senior engineering student. So being able to focus on my work is vital.
I don't know if it is my interest in the field that decreased or simply if my motivation is low, but I can't seem to work as efficiently as before.
I have had a whole week off dedicated to studying and haven't been able to do anything. I kept looking at my screen blankly or messed around on the internet, but haven't been able to produce any kind of significant result due to the lack of focus.
Has anyone experienced something similar? And if so, what are your advice?
|
ADHD
|
As an adult with autism I've been finding that it often has become a sort of invisible handicap. And this is in terms of various aspects of what is called "adulting": finding and maintaining jobs that are right for your skills, knowing how to make connections for professional and personal development, knowing how to balance jobs that require full focus with any sort of relationship and keeping healthy, being able to advance in careers as fast as NTs, managing expenses and general self care.
I wonder if for those with autism, particularly if it isn't at the top high functioning end, often feel that all of this is a type of game in which everyone but them has an instruction manual that they never got. And find themselves, as they try to be able to get to a point where they could be able to truly live independently, be able to buy houses, cars, save for 401 Ks, go out to venues for enjoyment and advance in careers, without any assistance from family, friends or anyone else, wonder how it's managed at all. And that, aside from individual exceptions, which to be sure, absolutely need to be celebrated, many will find that it could take into their 30s or 40s or even later to be able to master all of this.
Would love to know if this kind of sensation of being in a fight they can't figure out when it comes to functioning independently is a real thing for those with autism.
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aspergers
|
I was never actually clinically diagnosed ADHD. Not that I don’t want to, just that, I live in a rural area and the local clinic here though provides psychiatric assistance, doesn’t seem to have expertise in dealing with ADHD. When I went to see the doctor, I insisted on trying to get a ADHD test but I was led to other disorders like bipolar, depression and anxiety which I don’t disagree. I did my own test from some questionnaires I found online and read few journal, articles and YouTube videos that tells about ADHD symptoms and I totally relate to them. Some of which are, easily distrated by surrounding sounds, multitasking in my head, can never sit quietly when doing things at work etc. I thought I was weird. Could never truly be normally socializing with other people. I felt detached. To the point, I never had anybody celebrating my birthdays even my family members and friends. I’m in my 30s now. Never had a birthday cake for myself. I’m sad. I wrote in my journal all the negative thoughts so it wouldn’t just piled up in my mind. And I don’t anybody to tell about all my sadness. I did, twice when I was probably around 17 and 24 years old to the people I thought I could trust but they never cared. After that, this sadness I’ve been feeling made me numb. In gatherings, people make jokes, everybody laughed but I just couldn’t build up any emotions to even smile. I can’t cry when seeing my sister and dad passed on. Pretty sure when people talking to me feels like talking to a tree stump. I don’t know what to expect writing here. I don’t expect to be sympatize since I’ve been doing things my whole life by myself, surviving. Just that, I hope one day somebody would miss me when I’m no longer in this world.
|
ADHD
|
I have sacrificed so much, went through so much for people.. maybe my expectations are too high.. now I feel I'm just alone.. in this void with nothing but a cigarette in my hand.
I am sorry to everyone who has gone through much more than me, I know my issues aren't that grave..
Maybe stems from my hyper dependence and my mental strength but I just needed to shout it out.
Edit: for a person like me, you have no idea how much your words mean to me. Thank you.
|
depression
|
My ASD GF is taking a test that gives 48 hours to finishing online. When should she take a break? There's 100 questions and she could theoretically answer 2 questions per hour but she's stressed out since she feels like she's gonna fail. PS it's the Asvab Exam
|
aspergers
|
Hi All,
Just out of curiosity I was wondering whether you have left or right wing and authoritarian or libertarian political views, and whether there is an trends amongst aspies? Personally I am centre right and fairly libertarian.
|
aspergers
|
This is the TRE set of exercises that I have found very beneficial in my own life. Just thought I'd share since someone has released an instructional video on Youtube of them [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2DB\_ABQMFg&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR27J6lFveX-EzhkoYZiPNQ1WYHMUm8ePhzCN8v4bkfnHL5FAPe-vD5WfbQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2DB_ABQMFg&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR27J6lFveX-EzhkoYZiPNQ1WYHMUm8ePhzCN8v4bkfnHL5FAPe-vD5WfbQ)
|
ptsd
|
I always brushed this instance it off because the guy (my best friends brother) was having a severe manic episode with delusions, but over a year before he developed his disorder he had sexually assaulted me once and groped me a time before
I thought I only had ptsd from the sexual assault but I am realizing being around the person who did that do me and having him make sexual comments took a toll me and during is severe manic episode he wanted to talk to me I was terrified but my best friend pressured me into it because he was her brother and she wanted him to get closure he made me stand there and close my eyes because he said he was going to do something to make me less nervous he slapped my ass really hard and laughed he then read a letter he wrote about how he was in love me and he apologized for his sexual assault and pressured me into telling him what sexual stuff I had done in the past and then told me he would eat my ass out if I wanted and talked about that for a few minutes as he sat close by me rubbing my back
God I didn’t realize how bad this affected me until now
I just don’t know what to do I feel so broken
|
ptsd
|
So im going to tell something that has been affecting me for a long time now.
I am 16 my parents are getting divorced i alredy talked about that on this sub
But i have been left by my friends i have friends but they never invite me anywhere or they are allways to busy to hang out with me(btw they are not) i do like them but i stopped texting them first just to see if they would invite me somewhere i did that about 2 months ago since then i havent heard from them.
|
depression
|
I (F24) have PTSD from multiple different types of trauma and abuse. There are certain scenarios where I will experience whole body tremors / twitching. It's really embarrassing because people around me will ask if I'm cold. It's not shaking necessarily it's more like a convulsive twitch of my whole body that's completely involuntary.
I've noticed it can happen sometimes when I've been in a hypervigilent state then something makes me jump / triggers me (like someone shouting behind me). But the most often it's after scenarios where I've felt very emotionally vulnerable around men.
Tonight I was on a date and I shared some struggles I am going through at work with my SO. He was super kind and encouraging and we had a really sweet deep conversation about everything. He shared some wisdom that really helped me and I found myself crying. It was crazy because normally I'm physically incapable of crying around men. I didn't feel upset or triggered or anything. But then all the sudden my body started convulsing and kept going for about an hour. He asked if I was cold but I didn't feel like I could explain why this was happening to me. Then I think he figured out it was something anxiety related and he tried to hug me and I totally jumped.
This has happened before in different situations as well.
Does anyone else experience this? Does anything help you overcome it? How would you explain it to people around you?
Edit: the twitches happen maybe 3 times a minute so it's different then actually shaking.
|
ptsd
|
I know you might think this post doesn’t fit on this sub but I need to know if this is OCD or not.
When I meet someone, within a day or two they’ll trust me with everything, they’ll tell me things they’ve never told anyone, they’ll talk to me really openly about their trauma, stress and mental health. They tell me everything about them and I don’t know if I’m manipulating them into telling me these things or not, it might be OCD but I’m not sure. I’m convinced I’ll somehow tell their friends their secrets. I feel like I’m some sort of master manipulator who lied their way into being diagnosed with OCD, and what if that’s what I’m doing now? Fuck dude. Help
|
OCD
|
While waiting down the stairs, I realize that this is so typical:
Signing up for something because of my (now ex) girlfriend.
Forgetting about the event until seeing it in my calendar.
"Too late to train now."
Ex gf has black belt in karate 🥋, will start a few minutes after me.
Afraid she will overpass me on the way. My self esteem is fragile...
Still super excited, this feels like an adventure.
"I'm so going to fail."
"Come on, it's stairs. You can walk up some stairs".
"Why didn't you train?" Classic guilt..
TIL: Yes, I'm a mess. But thanks to reddit, I feel less alone.
Ever been there?
|
ADHD
|
like one of mine is popcorn, the movies, H&M, the movie the 100, a certain number i can’t even type out
|
ptsd
|
I try very hard not to insult people, because I always feel guilty, but most of my colleagues talk about people behind their backs all the time, even in public. One of my friends is graduating, so our advisor took out all his advisees for dinner. Her friend started complaining about various teachers and people in our classes. I like the people she was complaining about, but some of her anecdotes were very unflattering, so I did not say anything. But she was talking very loudly in a public area. Ever since, I cannot help worrying that they were at the restaurant and heard her, and since I didn’t say anything, they think I feel the same way. I get this feeling whenever I am complicit to other people’s gossiping. I cannot tell, do people who gossip just not care if it gets back to the person? Maybe I should just avoid people who talk like this? Is there any acceptable way to respond?
|
aspergers
|
Next week I met with my psych nurse again about meds and I've been trying to find the right dose still. She doesn't want to switch meds until we have exhausted the max on what I'm on (currently @54 mg xr methylphenidate with 20mg xr methylphenidate booster).
I still struggle to push myself out of paralysis. Lately I've been experiencing a lot of existential dread, having problems at work and feeling like the rug is going to be pulled out at any point. I just feel very burned out on trying. I used to be an addict and I miss the personality I had. I would be social and outgoing, no problem with being spontaneous but of course the downward spiral happened. I fantasize about the good parts. Not to think about relapse, but to compare mental states which isn't even valid. Ugh. I just feel, a lot. Also a lack. Idk. What to do.
|
ADHD
|
I have all the physical symptoms of depression. I can’t get up in the morning. I have vivid dreams, so vivid that I sometimes think my real life is in the dreams. I am happier in my dreams than in real life. I no longer take pleasure in anything or anyone that used to bring me joy, except my husband, who is really great. I do not socialize with other people and spend most of my free time on Reddit. I have no appetite in the day and only binge eat at night before I go to sleep. I’m having trouble actually falling asleep.
However, I’ve had depression before at various points in my life, and this time feels different. Previously I would have mood swings and episodes of crying, breakdowns and so on. I haven’t cried in many months now. I feel fundamentally content. I have no suicidal thoughts. I am able to look at a behavior I exhibit, like eating at night, and tell myself ‘that isn’t good, we should try to stop it’. But clearly something is wrong. What’s going on?
|
depression
|
Hey all. Hope it’s ok to post this here. I posted this to r/offmychest a couple of weeks ago. Tried following up on this issue today and was told not only can nothing be done, but I was made to feel like I was bothering an already struggling NHS administrator. My frustration and mental exhaustion over the issue her been renewed once again, hence the rant…
Two weeks ago, had a very frustrating experience with my local mental health team. I’ve (32F) only recently been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD.
I was prescribed Strattera in early August at my initial assessment, and have had a really rough time with them ever since(I could list symptoms, but in honesty it’d be easier for you to google them. It was rough!). I was also told to stick with them until my next review appointment, which was two weeks ago.
I was on the verge of a panic attack all day waiting for the call (it was a telephone appt). My anxiety is through the roof already, so imagine how bad it got after no call for nearly 2 hours after it was due. Eventually my impatience overrides my anxiety over making a fuss and coming across Karen-esque, so I ring to check whether it’s been cancelled or not, I’m told that they attempted to ring me, but I didn’t respond. They then read back to me a telephone number that doesn’t exist, that I have never given them. They’ve rung me on my current phone number before, so I presumed there would be no issue.
I ask a few more questions, and am told the following. Because I didn’t answer the made-up number, I am now classed as a DNA (did not attend) and will not be receiving a call for some time. Not only this, but the person I spoke to on the phone decided halfway through this conversation that a telephone appt was inappropriate and that I would need a face to face appt. They casually informed me that I have been scheduled in for May 2022…..
I am currently suffering from severe headaches, nausea and low moods due to medication that has zero benefits for me. I’m told I still have to take these unless a doctor tells me otherwise, and I don’t even get to speak to an actual doctor until May 2022. All this because of some clerical error that THEY made. I’m not even allowed to complain about it because the service is overrun and I should be grateful I’m being seen at all (told to me by the lady on the phone when I tried explaining why I need to speak to a doctor before then). As if it’s not hard enough already for people with ADHD to manage their symptoms under this process, we’ve now got to contend with the slightest thing going wrong with setting our care back potentially for months, even years!
I feel very defeated right now. My sobriety and (not)binge eating is hanging is hanging by a thread. It’s taken nearly 32 years for me to figure out why I cannot function like a normal human being, only to be reminded that the entire system is so messed up that I’m lucky to even be acknowledged by our health system, let alone be actually treated.
|
ADHD
|
if im happy or something funny happens theres no problem naturally smiling/laughing..but for a photo or fake smile i just cant...i try rly hrd and it only makes it worse...
|
aspergers
|
I have been dx with ADHD and I believe that I definitely have it. One of my worst symptoms. I have started thinking I might have ASD as well based on some experiences that I have.
One of the things that has confused me is that I scored a bit low on the AQ and I realized it was because some of the questions that are always asked for ASD have to do with change (which I need or I will be bored bc ADHD) and enjoying socializing (which I do because when I get lonely I get understimulated and depressed, but I just don’t particularly enjoy things like small talk or eye contact). It almost seems like some of these symptoms have to be one or the other but then it just gets confusing almost like it’s its own thing.
I know a lot of the symptoms overlap and I am honestly a little confused because it feels like I have some ASD symptoms, some ADHD symptoms and some that could be either or..
Can anyone give an accurate description of what ADHD + ASD actually looks like?
And how it’s even possible to get a ASD diagnosis when you are an extrovert and like change bc of your ADHD?
|
ADHD
|
The first time I sought out a psychiatrist I got diagnosed with bpd (which I recently found out was also a misdiagnosis), he also happened to ignore my adhd questionnaire and told my mom it was quite mild despite me telling him I had urges to commit every single day and they were only getting stronger. I thought it was because I didn't tell him enough to get properly diagnosed, but I poured my heart out to the second one. I told her all about my panic attacks, the constant nightmares, the constant flashbacks, how I couldn't look at ambulances or police officers without having a ptsd attack or bursting into tears. How I was constantly on the lookout in public in case someone tried touching me again. How I was scared of people getting physically close. She quite literally looked me in the eye and told me we'd do some basic self love exercises, but I was totally fine and nothing was wrong with me. She even told me i had to eat healthier and watch my own weight?? I'm not obese, I'm literally at the average weight for my height, but even if I was, she isn't a nutritionist? She made these comments after I told her about my disordered eating. After everything I talked about, am I genuinely being overdramatic or do I have a right to complain because I doubt I just have depression.
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ptsd
|
I was recently re-diagnosed with ADHD (was originally diagnosed at 11 but they thought I had grown out of it so stopped treatment). I have not started medication yet and am not sure when that will happen. I have exams in the next week and the week after that and don't know if I can do them since I think I am burned out. Idk what to do. I have fallen more and more behind this semester and in the last few weeks my concentration, memory and motivation have gotten much worse (it was already crap) so I can barely do anything and can't really study and am exhausted and in a brain fog constantly. I have contacted my student councellor but she hasn't responded yet. I don't wanna have to redo the classes. I am just so tired and frustrated and it scares me that idk when I will be functional and the consequences that might lead to.
|
ADHD
|
After waking up from a triggering and traumatic nightmare I finally thought that the rate and how awful my nightmares are it must not be normal. And it's not. People with ptsd are more likely to have nightmares and to have them on a more regular basis. The average population reported 5% of people reported having nightmares whilst 88% of people with ptsd reported having nightmares. That means we're 17.6x more likely to have nightmares. Like why the fuck do I need to relive trauma through nightmares going through it once was enough but to have my brain twist it into nightmares that I have to sleep through which utterly sucks.
|
ptsd
|
Like the thoughts just start off with you want to be this or I want to be this why ?
|
OCD
|
This is something I’ve wondered for a while, and what better way to answer this than use a poll.
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/pc1yqr)
|
OCD
|
OCD sometimes feels like I am in a race with a cast on my foot and no one knows about it. I am expected to run like everyone else but struggle. This struggle is something I am beginning to realize is one of the worst struggles in my life. I feel like not much else can compare. OCD, for me, started out small with intrusive thoughts here or there but now has an enterprise over me. It’s running me to the ground over and over again. What have I done to deserve this? I hope I have the strength to go on. (Sorry about the rant.)
|
OCD
|
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