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Cheer up, Homer. It's only rock 'n' roll camp. | But I like it... |
Tell you what. We're doing a benefit gig before we leave town. How would you like to join us on stage? | For serious? |
For serious, Homer. | Can I have forty guest passes? |
For serious, Homer. | Woo hoo! |
Sir, you can't... | All-access. |
Wow Homer, I ain't had front row seats since my Moonie wedding. | And after the show, you can come backstage for pizza and pop. |
Lenny, don't you have a crotch to stuff? | Evening, fellow rockers. |
There you are. We thought we were going to have to go on without you. | I'm ready. Just give me a guitar. How many solos should I do? Four? |
There you are. We thought we were going to have to go on without you. | I'll do four. |
Uh, Homer, you didn't think you were gonna be playing with-- | My official tour jacket! |
Uh, Homer, you didn't think you were gonna be playing with-- | Look at-- Wait, they misspelled "Guitar Hero." |
Look, sorry if there's been a misunderstanding, Homer. We really just need you to tap the mics and say "test, test." | Can't you do it? |
Look, sorry if there's been a misunderstanding, Homer. We really just need you to tap the mics and say "test, test." | Oh. Okay. So I'll, uh... okay. |
I'm his groupie! Am I saying that right, "groupie?" | Test, test... |
Why is he performing the duties of a roadie? Am I saying that right, "roadie?" | Test, test. Check, check. |
Hey, he's not rocking out at all. | Test... "TEST TEST, YOU'RE TESTIN' MY LOVE FOR YOU, CHECK CHECK, YOU'RE CHECKIN' TO SEE IF I'M TRUE..." |
Not on my shift. | BABY, BABY, BABY, BABY, BABY... Uh-oh. |
Did you know it was going to turn into a riot, Dad? | Oh, yeah... When you've been in as many as I have, you can sense them coming. |
Did they ever find Tom Petty's toe? | What am I, the lost and found? |
No, sorry. | There's no need for apologies, guys. You're rock stars! You're supposed to be reckless and destructive, and be celebrated for behavior that would land normal people in jail. |
We're doing a gig tomorrow to benefit the victims of tonight's gig, and we'd consider it an honor if you'd join us. | Well, you're very sweet, Mick, but the only rocking I want to do is in my living room chair, surrounded by the world's greatest back-up group, my family. |
Are you sure you don't miss hanging out with your rock star friends, Dad? | Nah, I've got something to remember 'em by. |
Are you sure you don't miss hanging out with your rock star friends, Dad? | Have fun at school, kids. |
Mr. Simpson, this zone is for school buses only. | Rock and Roll! Woo hoo! |
A year ago you said they were the greatest thing that ever happened to us. | I've grown, you haven't. |
Networks love reality shows because they don't have to pay writers or actors. | Stupid writers and actors, priced yourselves right out of the business. Nice going, geniuses. |
Get back, honky cat! Those systems are too expensive. | Marge, we can't pinch pennies on the machine that's going to be raising our children. |
Get back, honky cat! Those systems are too expensive. | Come on, kids. Daddy knows a way to get the money... with no risk. |
And the winner by a nose is "No Risk"! | Woo hoo! |
Okay, now all we have to do is install your satellite dish. Can you be home from eight AM Monday morning, through June? | No problem. |
Boy, that's Jim Dandy roof candy! I'd love to come over some time and watch that Church Channel. | I bet you would. |
Oh, you'd win that bet. Seems like I'm spending all my money on religious pay-per-view. Or as I like to call it, "pray-per-view." | Damn your sparkling wordplay! |
Cool! It's the NBC news feed! | Mmm... feed... |
It's Wednesday night! | Kids, kids, you're both right. |
Why don't you turn off the TV and join us for dessert? I made a pie. | Put pie here. |
Sucker. | Homicidal robots... so like us. |
"To Fraternal Love". | The status quo. |
Got it. | Hey, you can't fool us. We're from the "Learn to Fart" state. |
I'm so sorry. Lisa's a very special little girl, and we'll spare no expense in finding her. | Well, what about Bart? |
The plastic casing from the tip of Bart's shoelace! A mother knows! | Well, he's not gonna get very far without that. |
The plastic casing from the tip of Bart's shoelace! A mother knows! | Bart, is that you? |
Oh my special little guys. You're okay, you're okay! | And Maggie, you no longer have to live with the burden of replacing Bart and Lisa. |
The headlines proclaim "Dewey Defeats Truman." | Woo hoo! I win the bet! Who's your Daddy? |
Harry Truman triumphs by two million votes. | Not if I can stop that inauguration! |
I win, Dad. That means I get to choose today's father-daughter activity! | Let's hear it. |
We're building homes for the homeless. | You know it's gonna be bad, but you just can't prepare yourself. |
Dad, what is that? | Well, if Bart can be "El Barto"... |
Oh. If only I had your courage, Señor. | Oh, thanks... |
Dad, you're getting paint on your wedding ring. | Huh? Oh, right. Can you hold it? |
This is a Band-Aid wrapped in tin foil. | My real ring's inside a turtle. |
Well, he's not much to look at...but he is a good father...Hel-lo, ring tan line! He's new on the market! | Can I help you? |
Well, I've read enough articles about flirting to know it when I see it. | ... And that's how my beautiful wife brought our son Bart into the world. |
Ah, Homie, are you as attracted to me as you were when we met? | Sure, why not? |
Sometimes I worry you might think about other women. | Hey, why would I want Purina when I've got Fancy Feast right here? |
That doesn't sound very convincing. | Aw, it sounds like all you're looking for is a little reassurance. Well... |
Not feeling well. Going to bed. Dinner and breakfast are on the table. | Did you label the meals so I can tell which is which? |
Homer, let me explain something-- | Explain later! |
Homie! Oooo, Homie... Hey, what happened? | I fell off. Hee hee hee. |
Now, don't get too used to these. That awful doctor said he'd take them out in a couple of days. | Yeah, he truly is a monster. Hey, let's go out to dinner tomorrow. Just you, me, the kids and the twins. Whadaya say? |
Whatever Bart is saying is a lie. Mom! What happened? Your endowment's bigger than Harvard's. | Well, that cinches it. Lisa gets the prize for the best off-the-cuff response. |
Mom, doesn't it bother you that they're giving you all this attention just because of those? | That's not true, Lisa, there are a lot of complicated issues here, that can only be explained through song. |
Mom, doesn't it bother you that they're giving you all this attention just because of those? | YOU TOOK A TWENTY-KARAT DIAMOND, AND MADE IT GLEAM / LIKE A BIG SPAGHETTI DINNER, SMOTHERED IN WHIPPED CREAM. |
HOORAY! | AND THEY'RE ALL MINE... |
Homer, how come you never sang a song like that to me before? | Uh... I was gettin' around to it. |
Kiki Highsmith, Highsmith Modeling. Honey, I like your look. | Forget it Kiki. You're not putting your brain into her body. |
That's not why I'm here. I can offer your wife a lot of modeling work. Trade shows to start, then who knows? | No dice. Take your fun and adventure outside. |
That's not why I'm here. I can offer your wife a lot of modeling work. Trade shows to start, then who knows? | Wait for what? Confirmation of my attitude? |
I GOT KRUSTY IN HOT WATER / NOW I'VE GOT TO HELP HIM OUT / DA DA DA... | Shut up, boy. |
Oh, I don't get a song? Mom got a song. | With the economy the way it is, you're lucky you get soup. |
Dad, look! | I'm on it. |
Hey, that's it. Mogumbo! | Do you have anything with ground-up whale in it? |
Hey, that's it. Mogumbo! | I came out the elephant's mouth, right? 'Cause I already showered once today. |
Lisa learned a lesson! Lisa learned a lesson! | Kids, I'd like to reintroduce you to classic Marge. |
I finally feel like me again. You're not disappointed, are you? | Not at all, sweetie. At least one of us should be able to put their arms around the other one. |
Anyway, you're the only man I want ogling me. | Oh, we're gonna do a little more than just ogling. |
Oh, Homie. | Let's go get fried chicken! |
WHO LET HER JUGS OUT...? | D'OH D'OH D'OH D'OH D'OH... |
MARGE LET HER JUGS OUT... | D'OH D'OH D'OH D'OH D'OH... |
WHO LET HER JUGS OUT...? | D'OH D'OH D'OH D'OH D'OH... |
Yes, if he's smart, he'll hold out for millions. | Woo hoo! I got skybox tickets! And with only twenty percent loss of my brain function. Life is... |
Mm... that takes me back. | Check out those non-skybox losers, watching hockey without sushi. If you can call that hockey. |
Heads up, Dad. Here comes the scum! | Why can't they just be happy for my success? |
This is a joke. You'll find me down with the real fans, standing ankle-deep in beer and blood. | Fine, watch your stupid Eagles concert. |
It's a hockey game! | Whatever. |
Your sister getting something nice doesn't hurt you in any way. | Hm. Better add some more nails. |
Your sister getting something nice doesn't hurt you in any way. | Perfect. |
Bart! Watch your potty mouth! | Hey, get out, I'm in here! Oh. |
Why do you always hire the cheapest guy? | I go by how funny the sign is. |
But where will we live? | Don't worry. We'll just hang out in front of the house beside these garbage cans. The time will just fly by. |
But where will we live? | Eh, that was boring. Let's get a hotel. |
Sorry, folks. Every hotel room in town is booked. | Stupid Bran Producer's Convention. |
I do not want another lecture from a German backpacker about how we don't appreciate the national park system. | I know, we'll stay with my very best friend in the world, Lenny. |
Hey, Simpsons. | That's Lenny? Oh, I wanted the black one. |
Wow, Lenny. Your apartment is stunning. | So how do you afford such a sweet pad? |
Come on, guys, you gotta stay. Tonight's the big cock fight. Ah-- We can eat the loser... | Who wants to eat a loser? |
Oh yeah, the gimmick is, it's a house from 1895. And you gotta do everything like they did back then. | 1895, forget it. We'd be too late to save Lincoln and too early to save Kennedy. |
You could save McKinley. | It's not a time machine, Moe. |
I like what I'm seeing in there. | I'll teach you to whistle on the Sabbath! |
They go to pieces over nothing. They're perfect for reality TV. | Where's that kid with my latte?! |
They go to pieces over nothing. They're perfect for reality TV. | He's not coming, is he? Is he? |
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